non-lucid

I am a huge fan and player of hockey. So i always have dreams about hockey. This dream was about me and some team playing in front of millions of people. I had finished my shift on the ice and went back to the bench. Some black kids were sitting near me and i put down my gloves so i can fix my skates really quick. After fixing my skates i notice my gloves are gone. I couldn't skate for the rest of the game which was 11:60(time left on the clock) which is extremely weird and that was one of my reality checks. However right after i lost my gloves my dream completely switched to sitting in my car with my family and these black kids. I was really angry at them so i threatened to choke them if they didn't tell me where my gloves are. And that's exactly what i did. After the black kid started choking me, i had woken up. When i went back to sleep, i wanted to attain lucidity so i was half asleep half awake but could imagine myself in this dream again. I had become lucid for my first time, however i could not last long.

All I could remember was that I came home and there was an iPad sitting on the coffee table.
All I could think was "What an unbelievably HUGE WASTE OF MONEY!!! GRRRRR" rage

I also remember randomly being in a bushy place with a friend and some people were driving a car.

This is one of those frustrating dreams. So the dream starts with me and my best friend are standing outside a club at the end of the night and we are with these two girls, hook ups i guess. The dream gets going when we decide to go some place else where we can spend the night. I don't know why we didn't go back to my house but all four of us are looking for a place with beds. Now beds seem to be the main point of this dream because i keep mentioning it and we keep asking people, as if they would just let us use them lol. We end up in what looks like a boarding school or a university campus, but old school university. At first i thought I was my uni but I didn't recognize the places so it was more of the generic image of a university like Oxford and Cambridge etc. Anyway, we go around the place and it's pretty dark and empty. Theres other people wandering around aswell. We bump into my best friends ex, who got a bit weird after they broke up. She starts asking him questions like who are they and what we are up to. We end up ditching her but after more searching, we realize she was with us the whole time and she was bad mouthing us to the girls. We finally find beds and the girls are like aw yeah I dont want to anymore, i have to go blah blah blah. My friend gets pissed and he's saying things like " don't listen to her, she's just trying to fuck me over" and more shit along the of that. After some talking I decide to let the go because it looked pathetic in front of the other people in the room who i hadn't noticed till right then.
Then the dream skips to me in bed with another girl who is a good friend of mine and we used to work together. We are joking around and talking and kinda snuggling in since it was freezing in the room. Then she kisses me and we are going at it a bit then she stops just before we do it and says "gemma said you thought i was hot and I'm only doing this because i know your not going to take this too seriously." the she looks around for something and says " a shit i don't have a condom so i guess we cant do it"
Mean while in my dream im absolutely raging thinking twice in one night! I don't even try and talk her into it for some reason and she role off and goes to sleep, and that's when i wake up.

This has been the most pathetic dream ive hard ever! Lol, no condom?! It's a dream for crying out loud! Friends ex cockblocking me for no reason, looking for a bed. Just a poor show by my dreamself lol.
Maybe it's because i had an exam today, since ive never had a dream like this before.

Second entry so far.

Basically at home we were eating dinner, at the table and my bro was putting dishes into a dishwasher why we were at the table. I remember him doing a sloppy job like usual and I remember chicken drumstick falling on the floor.

Somehow we managed to get to some other room and he was doing stuff with some girl. I don't think I spent much time there.

Anyways, next I was in some school that seemed like a castle.Grey Stony Walls. Gargoyles and stuff like that. Mr. Wilson ( a teacher) was yelling at students for fooling around and bringing in their pets. He yelled at some kid named Craig because he brought his hamster to school and it was making a lot of noise. Craig was sitting beside a vent or something and promised never to do it again.

I think class was dismissed but I remember leaving over something like a balcony thing and when I looked down I could see kids coming through a corridor. I tried sniping (I like video games) but I failed at it. I either missed (though I actually did have recticles! LOL) or I guess if I did "hit" them nothing happened. They say me and tried running. I apparently "ran out of bullets". I saw one of my friends moe look at me and grin as he ran away.

Then I stopped looking over the balcony and some some girls I knew were coming by. I had a small P99 pistol (From a game called Golden Eye) and I whispered to my friends too "look" so as the girls I pointed like a laser from the gun onto their head, and they didn't notice, and neither did her friend's BF (the girl I point the gun at is Isa) My friends were laughing because she didn't notice though I was pointing the laser all up and down her body.

For some reason when she walked by she came up to my and "bum rushed" and I was like wtf and then I woke up because of my alarm clock.

Real life Dream Lucid Nightmare Dream sign
For me to remember, dreams are #067300, and lucid dreams are the color below blue, #4169e1. Nightmares are dark red, #8b0000, and dream signs are the light purple, which is up one and left one from blue, #483d8b.

I learned a lot from these two lucids. One thing is it really is easy to lose lucidity in a dream. The other is don't get startled in a dream...

Center party
We had a party for our Center. (It's like a specialized part of a school, ours is high school) I was already inside, and I was waiting for others to come in. I was in a dark room and it was night time. People started entering.

Suddenly I became lucid. The girl I like came over to me and asked me to help her get someone else at the Center away from her. He kept trying to hug and kiss her and she was annoyed.

I tried to Falcon Punch him but it failed. Nothing happened. I suddenly had a funny thought. I created a glowing thing that looked like a fairy from the Legend of Zelda and made the fairy fountain music come from it.He followed it, mesmerized, (because he was an avid gamer) and I told her it would probably keep going for a few miles, so we had nothing to worry about.

At some point in this dream I lost lucidity. We had about 30 people coming to the party. I looked around and saw a party room in the distance. We walked over there. On our way there we saw a large group of women doing stretches.

Then we finally got to the party area. There was a pool and then two concession stands with gorillas as staff. We played in the pool for a while, probably about 20 or 25 minutes.

Then the gorillas quit. They were getting too much business and were getting frustrated over how they only got $1.99 an hour. I said "Wait!". They looked and I said they could have the extra food too. They smiled and we all partied!


Would-be nightmare
I was in a dark room, looking at a creepy person, on some slate bed. I became lucid seconds after the dream started. I was startled at how quickly I had become lucid. The creepy guy suddenly died and fell off the bed and I looked around. There were doors and three people.

The middle one, a girl, said some spell to immobilize me. I don't remember what she said, but I do remember it felt like cotton was pressing around all my limbs and I couldn't fight past it. I tried to break free using dream powers but failed. Maybe I lost my powers because I startled myself? I thought, Crap. I woke myself up.

I felt tired early, so I figured I'd go to bed at 10:00. I wake up at 1:30 from a dream and now I can't get back to bed. I figure I might as well write what I remember.

I was at Northwestern, but a different Northwestern. It resembled ours in locations of buildings, but they weren't as tall and there was a definite slope down from North to South campus. Also, there were many more gravel-paved roads. (When I dream about Northwestern, it is almost always this version.) I was getting back from something and then decided to get in disguise and join a couple in a van later that day. I carried a textbook and a basketball with me. The white van was parked on a basketball court behind a gym. The man in the couple had a mustache like Lt. Dangle from Reno 911! and they both dressed like tourists, as did I. As I circled the van to get in, there began a bunch of bickering like an old married couple, and I decided to throw in knowledge from my textbook about the peculiarities of marsupial birth. When asked why, I scrawled on the side of the seat as I got in, "I TALK ABOUT KANGAROO REPRODUCTION SO WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE." Even though we were in a van, we stepped into a couple of elevators lit with art nouveau-style lights. We did so without any memory of leaving the van. On the second elevator, people stepped out of our way as we got on, and one of the couple said the only thing that hadn't been said in character, along the lines of "At least we have a little recognition down here." It then occurred to me that in joining the couple, I was infiltrating a cult that was trying to brainwash the student body. We continued driving and bickering until we got down south, arriving in a downtown Evanston that looked like the town square from Groundhog Day. There was a guy in black and red playing violin, and it was one of the most sad, beautiful chord progressions I had ever heard. The mustached man and I dumped a bucket's worth of coins into his hat, and at that point the violinist and I chatted about how if you got enough money, you could get Mack truck merchandise to sell. It was a lucrative business, apparently. Jump cut to the image of a Mack truck hauling manure down a highway, then to a shot from an NBC promo for a reality show that would involve the contestants having to carry the manure to places. He was wearing jean shorts, had fallen over, had some manure on him (it looked more like overcooked spinach than actual manure), and was addressing the camera. Then I woke up.

I had a number of dreams, but most of them were simple and short glances.

For example, in one dream, I saw someone driving down a highway in the middle of a dessert. Then, as soon as it got there, the dream seemed to end since i don't remember much else.

Later on, I had a slightly longer dream. In this one, I was around 6 years old and my parents had taken me to a toy store. They seemed to be wanting to buy me a controller of some sort for a gaming console. The controllers were shaped like gloves, and I assumed that one would put them on to play a game. I remember only looking at the box of one of these.

Then, the dreams ended and i woke up.

I was speaking to my best friend's sister about adding her on facebook. She was just nodding in agreement. However my best friend was not too happy with the invite because he thought i was trying to harass his sister. I don't remember much more.

This dream wasn't the most pleasant of dreams Ive had. The first part I remember is fighting in a regiment with a flintlock rifle and bayonet. There was a cavalry charge coming from our left side, and I was standing on the far left. The commander ordered us not to break rank and then the charge hit us. I stood through it, not being hit at all. I saw my regiment torn to pieces around me, so I broke rank and began to fight the cavalry. I used my rifle's bayonet to dismount and kill several of the enemy cavalrymen. Dream fades at this point.

Another part of the dream, I was riding passenger through this weird section of road. It was apparently a timed switch room that was sometimes a road and sometimes a subway rail. I was nervous going through it because the door at the other side took so long to open. I was worried that the subway door would open and that we'd all get creamed by the train itself.

Another part of the dream, maybe the worst. Me and a group of DC's were in this area, not really a cavern but it was some sort of cave or canyon built into a rock table. It was strange. One of the DC's is a girl I know and I spent most of the time talking to her. To my dismay she had changed dramatically and had a bunch of tattoos (I'm not a fan of them). She was apparently a bit of a slut and really just kinda teased me. I spent a good portion of this dream desperately trying to win her affection. I failed and she wandered off.

Next part of the dream I was standing with another DC I know in real life. I knew that neither one of us fit in in the world around us anymore. There was a huge pit filled with water in front of us. I jumped in and swam to the very bottom where I let my body go or something. My perspective went back to the surface but I knew I died already or something. The DC I had been with was just living life as normal but we both knew something bad was going to happen. And it did, the city around us was destroyed by a volcano. Everyone inside died including my DC friend. I was just so devastated at this point and apathetic of my dream everything just kinda faded. I eventually woke up.

The funny thing is, its not great dreams that make me want to study and practice lucidity. Its shitty dreams like these that make me want to so I never have em again.

One complete dream, one fragment (would have had two if I hadn't been woken up):

Fragment: Mainly thinking up new album covers and songs for the new Kanye West album. The only cover I can remember with any clarity is Kanye from the banned cover sitting on the throne with a crown from one of the other covers. I don't remember how the songs went, but they gave me the same odd emotional reaction as the others.

Dream: I went with my family to a store. The floor was white tile, and the aisles were very tall and black. There was this odd white cube with a glass cube inside it on top of the checkout counter. The aisles were set in a long hallway, and were perpendicular to the length of the hallway. The walls on either side were windows. I was expressing interest in a drink mix that would taste like music. You needed amounts of six different powders plus a seventh for the particular song you were interested in, and the store only had four of the six, but I decided to try it. I had some The Strokes-flavored powder, mixed it in, and the drink tasted pleasantly Strokes-ish (like Someday, especially). At that point, I decided to trek down the long hallway, and found myself in a room with large (like 3x2 foot) tiles shaped like playing cards. I had been in this room before in a dream.

I started off at some house party. There were a bunch of people from school. Inside the front door there was a living room with a hallway and an ice cream freezer. The freezer was filled with those industrial sized tubs. Someone was serving it. I was trying to decided between getting mint chocolate chip, chocolate chip cookie dough, and something else (I think orange?). I could have two flavors, so I took the mint chocolate chip and cookie dough. As the person was lifting the tubs out of the freezer, I decided to not wait and to just stick my hand in to them and gouge out a handful of each flavor. They were freakin delicious.

Then I looked back at the living room. JO and some others were there. They were saying something, and I randomly did a dive roll and sang a line from the song Express Yourself by Madonna. Everyone just looked at me funny. I laughed awkwardly and raised an eyebrow and said "No? I guess not then." I then proceeded to sing the first verse of the song, but I screwed up a lot of the notes, and my voice was really blocked up. JO looked at me in the eyes, but then just laughed along with everyone else. "I know, I sing shitty," I said.

Then I was apparently at school, in some giant room that seemed to be some sort of auditorium. They were planning a concert, but they were barely playing any songs that I played. I asked the teacher if there was even a point of me being there, and she told me I could just skip the whole day. I then saw some of the performance; apparently it was some sort of presentation to the feeder school. A few people dressed in big blue gowns were singing on the stage, and then it disappeared.

---

I was in a mall; it resembled DU mall's food court. IR was there in the distance getting some food. Can't remember much else that happened.

---

I was with my mom and some others, and they were saying that I should be getting my period soon. I looked at them puzzled and wondered why they even cared, or how they would know. I told them it's usually later in the month, but then they pointed to some marking on my calendar. I repeated that it was later, and my mom said that it must have been an approximate date.

In my dream last night I was at another rather large and weird apartment complex with a bunch of people running around. Right before bed I had watched Far and Away so it was like people were running to claim apartments. I walked into one with my boyfriend. His friends happened to be inside. Some were people I know and others were friends, he said, but I'm not really sure who any of these people were. It appeared that they were all living in this apartment.

I'm shy as it is so I felt pretty uncomfortable around a bunch of people I don't really know. I sat down and Mike, the friend I do know and house/cat sat with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, kinda looked at me and said I shouldn't be here. I looked puzzled and he said that he and Allie hated me and didn't ever want to see me again.

I started to panic because the rest of the people in the house began to look at me like I was unwanted. I ran to a room and started to redress, or so it seemed, and pack to leave. My boyfriend who generally takes a while to leave was walking around and I thought as long as I got all our stuff there would be nothing to cause him to wait any longer.

As I was gathering up my things I saw a letter sitting on the night stand in what was supposed to be Mike and Allies room. It was addressed to me and I could sort of see through it. I saw the words 'I cant believe you did that. You are never allowed here again'.

As I was leaving I woke up.

WTF?
Recall: 9/10
Sleep: Good
Sleep Position: Left Side (Right Brain)

Tim and I are in a car with Jennifer at the wheel. She might be drunk, because her driving is atrocious. She's hitting everything, parked cars, buildings, moving cars, and cutting a swath of destruction across the town.

We finally come to a stop after careening off several moving vehicles. As we sit there a little dazed, one of the drivers from a car we just hit comes up to us and tries to open the door. I lock them before he can. He goes around to the other side of the car where there is an open window. I yell at Tim to take the wheel, and punch out the guy trying to get in through the window. Then we floor it and get out of there.

We make our escape and end up back in Jeniffer's driveway, where she begins to perform what appears to be oral sex on my knee. I point this out to Tim who just shrugs, and I go with it, unzipping and giving her something to suck on. As she sucks me, I notice a cake with sky blue icing beside me and begin to gorge myself with cake as I'm being pleasured. Tim drops his shorts as well, and we let her take turns on us while we laugh and eat cake.

We all go inside, and some other guy starts having sex with Jennifer right in front of us. I turn my head for a moment, and when I look back, Jennifer now has an infant's body. An infant's body that still looks old and rather satanic. She says how the guy loves her as he pull out and finishes in her mouth, and she gobbles it up greedily.

This scene has gotten a little too weird and disgusting for me, so I turn to leave. Before I go, I see Jennifer's evil infant like body has turned green, and it looks like her skin is just a water balloon full of slime. This infection spreads across the floor and infects a guy in front of the stairs, blocking my exit. I'm afraid to touch him in case it spreads to me, and now can't get out.

The bloated green bodies turn brown in some spots and shrivel up like a raisin, making them even more grotesque. But luckily, the shriveling means they can no longer stand up, and I'm able to get past the guy blocking the stairs and leave.

As I leave the house, I see people arriving dressed in costumes. It's a costume party there. A truck drives up but crashes, and the driver is impaled on a spear from the Halloween display in the neighbours front lawn. The crashed truck disappears and reappears, crashing again, and again the driver gets speared. Over and over this happens, each time a different crash resulting in the same speared driver. On a couple of occasions, the driver stops and tries to spear me, so I grab a spear and throw it through his throat.

I finally get far enough away to leave all this madness behind.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Good morning! Had the intentions of getting lucid last night, but it only resulted in me talking about lucid dreaming with another DV member. I did have a cool nightmare about the end of the world. Other than that, I didn't dream much...

12.00: Bedtime

09.00: DV member at a party
I'm in a car, driving through a very nice looking neighbourhood. The lawns are green, trimmed and everything looks new. I spot a barbeque with alot of people at one house. Alot of cars are parked at the sidewalk. We go for a minute or so more, and arrive at a house. Inside there's some kind of neighbour gathering of some kind. Two guys are making a welcome drink in a large bowl. One of them is my uncle. "We do it like this, 60/60. It's going to be perfect!" he tells the other guy while pouring in a whole bottle of whiskey.

I'm in the kitchen, holding a drink myself. A guy in his mid 20's is talking to a woman about lucid dreaming. "My grandma was one of the first who registered, she's 70 years old" he says. The woman doesn't seem to care. "I have been a member for 7 years now" She walks away and I realise that the guy is actually Robot_Butler "Hey, I recognise you" I say and we start talking about lucid dreaming. He tells me about a thread he's made, and I know exactly what he's talking about. "Yeah I read that just the other day" I say.

09.00: End of the world


A massive nuclear blast appears on the horizon. I'm with Monica and two other people in the middle of the desert. "You're never going to make it" one of them says. "Goodbye" I tell them and jump up on my motorcycle. Monica gets on and we take off. I accidentaly do a wheelie but I quickly regain control. Going as fast as I can, I can hear the rumble of the explosion behind us, and I know the heatwave of it will strike within seconds. I spot a rocky area up ahead and I know it will give us cover from the intense heat. We make it in time, going down a small hollow behind some rocks just as the heatwave hits. I know that's not all, there's a shockwave coming next.

Leaving the bike, we run along the rocky area. The ground starts to vibrate, and soon it's trembling. "Do you know why it's doing that?" I ask Monica. "No..." "Well, it's because one layer of ground pushes on the next, which pushes on the next and so on" I say as we start to climb a small hill of rocks next to a white seven stories building. The ground is shaking violently now and we jump down from the hill into a courtyard. There are a few buildings just like the white one around us. "We should be safe here" I say and the shockwave hits us. The ground behaves just like water would when a wave goes through it. I ride the wave. "Wohoo".

The buildings all around us starts exploding, and glass shatters everywhere. When everything clears up, I can see that none of the houses has fallen. A large hole where the entrance should be, no windows left and most of them are crooked. We walk along the road away from the buildings. We're soon walking through a dark forest. Monica stops infront of a large pine tree with a rope ladder coming down from it. We climb up the tree, and I get this panicky feeling of being last in a dark room. Something's definitely going to grab my foot any second.

Once up, everything's very dark. We're once again back in our little tree house, trying to survive in this world filled with zombies. The tree house is a small rectangular room, only 4 x 2 meters, with a small room to the right for sleeping. A table is right infront of me with all kinds of junk on it, and there's a kitchen counter behind that. I bumb into something and Monica makes a shush. We stand completely still, listening for any sound below. She hands me a pair of black large silverware. I put them away and grab my shovel instead. It's very light.

"Get away from the hatch, if they come up, they'll see you" Monica tells me. I slowly back away, keeping my eyes on the hatch. After half a minute or so, we relax once again. I wish I was back at the house we were in before, where you could sleep without feeling anxious or afraid. I know those times are over. I hate this fucking tree house. "Hand me the gun" I tell Monica. She opens a drawer, pulling out an old revolver and carefully hands it to me. "Be careful! It's loaded" she tells me. I open it up, and is relieved to see all six bullets are still there. I am careful not to let it go off.

I realise we have to get more weapons. Only six bullets and a shovel isn't going to get us anywhere. I look out the small window. The forest isn't very thick, and ends at a lake just fifty meters away. I can see two red houses by the shore. There's a town over the water, next to a harbor. I remember there being a mall there, with glass windows. A plan quickly comes in mind. I would drive by and break a window by shooting at it. Monica would sneak in while I would honk and attract all the undead. Monica asks me if she could open a can of Sprite. "Yeah go ahead" I say. She carefully opens it with a low hiss. "Does this taste old?" she asks me. I taste it. "No it doesn't"

11.00: Fragment
*A zebra lies down at a tree, and starts giving birth. I can see a huge pink thing come out from behind. It's covered in crushed up tomatoes.

Amount of sleep: 10½ hours

Supplements before bed: 2 x Omega-3

That's it! Very cool and scary dream. Had trouble falling back asleep after that one, and the last dream I had was so weird I couldn't even recall it. Well well.

Keep on dreaming, HARE BRA!

For starters, it should be noted that my mother and I have a very complicated relationship. She was rather abusive, though rarely physically. Out of the six daughters, two have cut off contact with her to protect their children. Three have become just like her. I maintained contact because I'm the last one to want to speak to our father, who Mom tries very hard to turn all of us against. They're still married, but she treats him like she used to treat us. It's a mess.

As part of this relationship, Mom pressured me to get into another abusive relationship when I turned of "marriageable age." She wanted a good, Christian son-in-law that would keep me "accountable" to God. That lasted 3 years, without marriage, before he decided that I was too masculine. I was two months from my marriage to my current husband before Mom took Fiance 1 out of the family album. This is all necessary to understand my dreams, I promise.

I used to lucid all the time, even managing an OBE a few times. I don't lucid as much anymore, and hardly ever OBE. Annoyingly, both Mom and F1 show up in my dreams far too often. When F1 used to appear, I'd wake up and my husband would be bruised and scratched from my thinking he was F1 and trying to fight him off. After a couple of years, this stopped happening, and eventually he stopped appearing. Unfortunately, last summer he contacted me again wanting to get back together. He's married, and knows that I'm married too, but... yeah... He started reappearing after that, about once a month.

Mom used to show up once or twice a month, always turning the dream into an emotional nightmare. No fear, really, just lots of pain to wake up with. Often, the dreams include a big blowout that I've been expecting for years, the one where she finally disowns me for good. Or she does something new and I start screaming all of the things I've wanted to scream for years but couldn't.

This Thanksgiving, she insisted for months beforehand that we had to come spend it with them. My husband couldn't miss his family's dinner and I didn't want to, so we spent one night. This was the first time I'd been under their roof overnight in 5 years. She was alright while Dad and Hubby were nearby, but as soon as they were gone she turned sadistic. Things so small that I couldn't really complain without looking like the bad guy, but calculated to hurt.

Since then, every dream has been entirely centered around her. I can't lucid, I can't have any dream other than dealing with her. It's been a horrible drain. I haven't been functioning awake like I used to, and at the end of the college semester that's not good. The campus shrinks are no help, the last time I went to one they decided that I was suicidal. I'm the last to know everything, aren't I?

Anyway, to the dreams. There were 2 sleeps today. The first one was the usual nocturnal, with the addition of someone who used to be in my dreams all the time but not in the last year or so, and is slowly returning: my husband! Yay!

We were all graduated, and had just moved back to Southern IL, where Hubby's family is. It's only a few miles from where I grew up, though the parents moved away long ago. We were living in a trailer in the middle of nowhere, felt about halfway between Benton and Thompsonville (Oh, Deja vu. I've dreamed about typing this before, I think... that happens often...). We had a pet duck and a monkey, for some reason. The monkey liked to play in the forests around us, and I had wild berry bushes nearby to munch from. My grandfather was alive (died over 10 years ago), and helping us get settled. We had just unpacked, and were getting everything arranged. There was something about driving on the gravel road to get there, it's very vivid... I remember, we were sad about something happening to someone close to us.

No, Granddad wasn't there, but my father-in-law was and was called Granddad, but we didn't have children yet. We were coming home in his old pickup (how I know it was him), with the news that Hubby and I were going to be taking care of a baby only a month or two old. Her parents were close to us, but something had happened and we were fostering her until they could take care of her again. In retrospect, I do note the absence of two if our RL friends who we have planned to live with after graduation and who may or may not be a couple. It may have been their baby? That would explain the "Granddad" thing, the male friend is practically another son of his.

When we get there, I have a handful of (very red, and sweet) berries and let my father-in-law taste some with me before going inside to prep an impromptu nursery. I find my mother there, she came down to help, and she begins trying to convince me to send the baby away: "You should hold her for a while before you decide. (WTF does that mean???)" "Are you really willing to donate what this baby will need?" "What baby could possibly be happy with you?" etcetera.

I try to ignore her as best I can, then leave the nursery to find myself in the house I grew up in, right outside my bedroom door. I wander over to the sofa, and see an empty binder. I don't know the binder IRL, but I know it as a makeshift photo album that used to be my school binder. Finally, staring at the binder, I tell her "I will be SO glad when you move out, you are so f***ed up!" This is the last thing I remember before waking up.

My husband works graves, so we rarely get to share the bed. After a few hours, I took a couple of Benadryls to sedate me and went back to bed. I had just watched Inception, and found this site, and wanted to see if I could lucid. Benadryl has a hallucinatory effect on me, but I don't want sleeping pills in the house. I'm depressive, and it just doesn't seem safe, you know? Silly me, should have used mugwort.

I remember my older sister, Mary (One of the Mom clones), living with her boyfriend Tom. I was with Mom, Dad, and my little sister, Shawna (Another clone, but much more sympathetic) visiting her. They lived to the north of my hometown, a couple of hours away. I think Salem, but it was a ritzy subdivision in the woods. She can't afford that IRL. I think the car we were driving was the green Taurus station wagon, which we got rid of in... '99? But I was an adult in this dream, married though Hubby was elsewhere at the time. I think he was back south with his family.

We stopped at a gas station I've seen many, many times in my dreams since I was young, a mini-truck stop. I don't know it IRL, but now it was in Mount Vernon and we'd stopped there many times over the years. Now I know where in my dream geography it is. We stopped to eat, a greasy spoon diner, where Mom made all sorts of jabs at me that I don't remember while Dad stared at his food and Shawna tried to ease the snarks by laughing back at Mom.

I left the table, seeing a newspaper headline that Mary had bitten Tom and the police were looking for her. I bring the paper to the table, saying that it must have happened after we left (though how the paper was printed that fast is kind of screwy), and I see Mom holding up a half-empty foot-tall salt shaker shaped like a juice bottle. She yells "Your salt intake is high! You're pregnant aren't you?" She's ecstatic, but making fun of it in front of the whole diner. I finally snap, and start telling her off that my cycle ended a week ago (not irl, of course), I hadn't had sex since then, and if I WERE pregnant it would be none of her business and she wouldn't be involved in any way. There's more yelling, and I wake up.