non-lucid

Date of Dream: MON 25 DEC - 2017



Dream No. 249 - The Chisholm Wanderer

I don't remember how this dream started. From where I do remember, I was at TAFE. KW was taking one of the classes but I forgot what class it was exactly. I went outside into the corridor for some reason although the class was still going. In the dream, there were lockers in the corridor where as there are no lockers in real life. I didn't seem to know what I was doing in the dream and I had no control over where I was going.

It was only once I wandered far enough from the TAFE that I had finally felt I'd gotten myself lost. I was now trying to work my way back to the building but no matter where I went, I just got more and more lost. At one point, I tried backtracking but the path changed and I was now at a dead end with this black coloured water puddle appearing at the end of it.

The next solution was to call for Dreamy WB. I had to call for her many times and still, I didn't feel like there was any result. I eventually said, “Look, Dreamy WB, I know it's hard for you to come but please, I'm lost and I need to find my way back”. It was then that I felt this familiar, warm energy begin to surround me as I got lifted off the ground.

Dreamy WB wasn't in full form but she wasn't invisible either... It's hard to describe her appearance in this dream. After lifting me off the ground, and placing me in her lap, a cloud appeared below her... She was riding on a somewhat transparent cloud in this dream. I found that she had taken me back right to where I had started; in the corridor with the lockers. She had dropped me off and I was left standing there on my own, looking into the classroom. The dream then ended and I woke up.



Dream Trophies Achieved:
- None

This dream was set in a universe where everything is like it is now (and so we have all the advanced technology that we have right now), except that the USSR and all the other communist states still exist. I was almost done with college (computer science), and I had to go do an internship.

As I looked through all the available internship positions on the internet, I saw one that was quite interesting, to say the least. It was an internship as system administrator in communist Romania, for leader Nicolae Ceausescu. It sounded quite crazy and adventurous, and I got to work together with a supreme leader of a country, imagine that! So I was totally into it and I took the internship.

I don't think I saw much of Bucharest or of Romania in general. The dream skipped straight to the offices of Ceausescu. He was giving me a tour around the building, telling me where everything is, telling me what my job is, etc. He told me that I would be paid in a cryptocurrency called DigitalSilver (doesn't exist in real life, by the way).

I ended up sitting in an office that looked a lot like my grandma's (dad's mom) kitchen. I was there together with 2 others, a male cook and a female secretary. We were all doing our thing: I was doing some indistinct tasks on a terminal, the cook was cooking food, and the secretary was filling in some documents. Ceausescu was roaming around the building the whole time, occasionally coming in to check on us.
At some point my mom calls me to ask how everything's going. I said everything is fine.

Spoiler for *** WARNING: GRAPHIC PART ***:

All seemed pretty chill, until at some point, Ceausescu notices an error in what the secretary was doing. He gets angry, grabs a large knife, and stabs it right into her face. It was pretty gory. He cut a whole part out of her face, like the entire middle part cut out like an apple, so that there was only a huge pyramid-shaped wound left. Her eye was hanging out of the socket. As he got the knife out and let go of her shoulder, her corpse fell down on the desk and blood was gushing out of her face. The whole scene was very upsetting.

My heart was beating very rapidly and I looked at the cook. He pretended as though he didn't see it, so I did the same. At this point I was very scared, but I tried to stay calm. I should just continue working, and avoid making any errors, and by the end of the week I can go home. Then it's just a matter of simply no longer coming back (to hell with that school degree). I continued working as best as I could, double checking every command I entered into the terminal. But I felt very very scared, and the thought of possibly getting a knife to the face like what I just saw scared me shitless and I could no longer concentrate. The more I thought of it, the faster my heart was beating, and my hands started shaking.

I wanted to call up my mom with my android phone. I waited until Ceausescu exited the room, and then I ran upstairs. This place looked a lot like my other grandma's (mom's mom) upstairs hall, together with all the bedrooms. I went behind a bed and took my cellphone. However, I had this eerie feeling that Ceausescu might've followed me, so I didn't call yet. Rather I waited for a while to hear if there wasn't any noise coming from another room. And there was no noise, but I was still very paranoid, so I slowly crawled around to check on the other bedroom.

As I peeked into the bedroom, to my surprise, I saw my SNES on a nightstand. That was very suspicious, it might be a trap. So I peeked a little further, sticking my head into the room a little. And, just as I feared, I saw Ceausescu's shadow on the floor, he was waiting for me behind the corner! I was incredibly scared and I froze. Then I made a snap decision to just flee from the place and go back downstairs to the office.

I asked the cook how I could claim the DigitalSilver tokens for the work I had done so far. Somehow, I had the time (and bad priorities) to first claim my DigitalSilver, trade them for litecoins, and sending them over to my wallet. Then I darted for the exit and the dream was over.

So the plan is that me, my 2 brothers, my neice and nephew, and my parents would all pack up and go out to eat, go to a museum, return home and open presents, and finally go to church in the evening. It was early morning when the day started. We had to take several cars for reasons not explained to me. First trip involved brother Kris driving my dad, me going with mother and the niece and nephew, and older brother going alone.
After a few hours we arrived at the restaurant. I sat down at a separate table from everyone else since the original table my family sat at could only hold 5 of us. Slowly my family came and sat with me, leaving only mother and brother Jeff sitting at the original table. Dad looked very seriously at Kris for a few seconds and started to say something of great importance..."No more biscuits for you." Kris had eaten some biscuits before we started our trip and apparently they gave him horrible gas. He stunk up the car the whole ride down here. I sighed and accepted that I would be smelling him too the next several hours until we reach our destination, but dad said the biscuits would take some time before they start affecting Kris. Long enough that I probably wouldn't be stuck in the car with him any longer.

Kris assumed I would not be going with him now, so he started arguing to mother about it and throwing a fit. I tried telling him I planned on riding with him next, but he wouldn't let me get a word in. Kris then called me names and I actually for some reason started crying. This gave me an opening to speak, and I told him it was always my plan to go with him next. While riding with him towards our destination I was catching up on some Overwatch news. The Overwatch League had started and there was an event going on for all the players to get rewarded and stay entertained while the competitions were going on. Xqc, a professional player, had gotten suspended for raging and throwing. He had to sit out the entire event. He decided to record some youtube videos on the PTR in the meantime. There were some new skins and emotes, but also a strange feature added to the hero Mercy. She was given a new ability that spawned up to 5 avatars that didn't do anything but spin around her and emote. They were transparent monks colored red, blue, green, yellow, and black. This seemed to be a beta feature that was supposed to be removed. It may be a future ability for a new hero.

We now arrived at the museum and all got out of the cars. Niece Adira started running off on her own towards the place. Someone sure seems excited to visit. We all wait in line to go enter, meanwhile I catch the name of the place (I don't remember now what it was called) and judging by the singing I hear, it appears to be an opera house of some sort. Just great...Also, it has a cost of like $40 per person and it is a 2 day event. Mother pays for us all to enter and we take our seats. There is a singing performance with a choir. The crowd is mostly older folk and the style is not my favorite. On the way in they gave everyone brochures with all the artists and performances that would be playing in order. An employee noticed my disinterest and offered me a game system to play while this all was going on. I took a look at it and it seemed to be a 3DS and a few games, but it was all on paper, folded up. It seemed to be a future console that used new technology. It would all still work the same, but it could be folded up for easy storage. I gave it back to the employee because it would be rude to ignore the performance and play alone.

There was a stage where one of the singers would stand and people could go up and take pictures with him. There was much applauding and crowd interaction. After the initial song things started getting a bit more lively and interesting. There was a duet. After that performance was a solo singer who had a great voice, and was singing a christian song. The twist though is that she never practiced for this song and it was not a mainstream song. She had to improv the whole thing. Everyone cheered for her as they were all quite impressed. I was actually really bored and disinterested the whole time. The next act had everyone get out of their seats and start jumping and clapping and moving their bodies to get some energy in the place but I was the only one in the crowed still sitting. I expected to be called out and asked to participate, but they did not call on me. The final act I saw before waking up had the stage right above our seats. The man above was doing magic tricks. Amazing tricks where his hand would appear to be floating without an arm, tricks that involved animals doing strange things, and many other typical magic tricks. I was impressed at first, and found out the magician was in fact David Copperfield, but when I looked more closely I could see the whole thing was a sham. He was hiding behind cardboard and paintings to give the illusion he was standing in front and showing off, but the crowd could only see fake imagery of the magician. Nothing there was real or live. It was all props. That was why the things he was doing made no sense. It would have been just as bad if he was digitally editing an entire performance and showing it on a screen.

Morning of December 24, 2017. Sunday.



The foundation of this dream was totally unexpected, as it was based on a computer program I wrote nearly fifteen years ago and of which I had not thought about for years, before we moved from Brisbane.

I am in an unknown residence but which seems to be where we are implied to be living. My youngest son and I are looking at a large poster-sized image of surreal imagery. In some sections, there are human-like figures of which were created randomly by a special algorithm with a basis for a more natural choice of which next color and in which direction the line would continue. I remember that the first version of my computer program merely had an equal probability for each next line to continue from its previous point. It was like watching an invisible pencil scribble all over the screen, sometimes with insignificant leaf-like or vine-like (or spaghetti-like) patterns (and of course sometimes going beyond the range of the screen and coming back again, though my second version did not have this potential occurrence). Using probability based on a real drawing or other image was more interesting, though still resulted in surreal images that usually did not really look like much of anything. Bitmap (BMP file) templates had to be used (for gleaning probability of particular values as a percentage of the original total), each template image of course producing different results.

I begin to consider that it is very strange, yet intriguing, that images that look so much like people standing around were created randomly. I consider altering how the program is running. My “computer” is very large, bigger than my entire desk in real life. The monitor is the size of a large window. The image appears on the screen and I print it out when I see something interesting.

At one point, I seem to have done something wrong, as when the program starts again, the imagery remains in vertical orientation, looking something like a vine growing upwards, though with “leaves” coming out from each side now and then. I try to adjust it.

Eventually, something quite unusual occurs, as my program seems to be missing certain subroutines. Sections of written print keep appearing along with parts of a Mandelbrot image. It seems like the parts are coming from the same original image, but in unusual irregular swirls and patches over prior imagery. Now I know something is wrong, but I have the false memory that my original template was a Mandelbrot image above a paragraph or two of writing, possibly from a virtual textbook or database. I am somewhat annoyed that it is not working as it should. (I do not consider that I would not have used an image of printed text for any sort of template to produce new random patterns from.) The area of random imagery selected (to be reapplied) is too large to make anything very unique. (This is an unusual false memory which is not perceived as such - yet my thinking skills are otherwise more present than usual as is my current conscious self.)

Just as I think of fixing my program, there is ambiguity of being inside and outside at the same time. A nuclear explosion occurs nearby, though mostly only followed by small fireballs overhead. I get Zsuzsanna and our children and decide to go into a close-by underwater bunker, where I think we might be safe. (This is an attempt at dream state reinduction - returning to the essence of water, which represents the dynamics of sleep, as my sleep was slightly restless towards morning due to the extra warm weather.)

---

This dream starts out at some kind of convention. There was some kind of nomination thing that I didn't get nominated in. Angry about that, I leave to go to my house. The only problem: I was lost. As the sun set, I walked across a road that led to some kind of desert. Eventually, it got so dark that I had to turn on my phone and get the flashlight to work. When I turned on my phone, the screen was so dark that I could barely see anything, so I had to GUESS where the brightness slider was. Eventually, I turned up the brightness and turned on the flashlight. The flashlight was so dim that it barely helped, but then I passed the Mexican border and made it to an alternate version of my school. It looked a lot more like Egypt than Mexico, and to the left of the entrance to the cafeteria, there was the great wall of China. I tried to call C's mom to get her to pick me up, but she couldn't for some reason. Eventually, I received some Christmas presents. Everyone was huddled around me as I opened my first present, including my Armenian friend. The first present was literally just a ball of cookie dough. My friend ate a piece of it and then gave it back. i'd say about 90% of what I got was candy, except for one present which was meant for my grandma. It was a poem about how she was unemployed and how she should hand her job down to the rest of the family. It was written in modern English, old English, and possibly old Norse. At my school, we have this news program that talks about stuff in the school, and the episode of that program in this dream was about old English. The intro showed the AE ligature, as well as Thorn. I then woke up.

NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CONTROL ELECTRONIC ITEMS IN DREAMS: 2.

Rejected.
I don't remember much of this dream right now. I had it earlier in the night, and I left a few notes, but I don't really remember anything but the notes I put down. I'll try expanding on them if I can.

The first thing I recall is feeling my hair and noticing it was longer than I have ever had it before. It went a bit past my shoulders. I actually really liked it and decided to keep it that long. I went to a mirror to check it out, and the style made me look kind of feminine. I sort of morphed between male and female for the rest of the dream. I saw a girl with blonde hair and glasses, kind of nerdy looking, that seemed attractive to me but I had a feeling I should stay away from her. I don't recall how I first saw her. At one point I was driving across town and went to Toys'R'Us to do some last minute Christmas shopping. I wanted to get a gift for this girl, but also something for my niece and nephew. I can't think of exactly what it was I was looking for. It had something to do with either music or books, and it could be done on a tablet, but I didn't want to buy a tablet. There was a loud advertisement around the corner with a light shining on said tablet, but I really wanted the real thing. I ran into my brother here who was also shopping, and he told me not to go for this girl because it'd be a mistake.

I didn't care. I was infatuated and nothing would change my mind. I stopped to visit the niece and nephew on the way home and noted that they were staying in a small single-wide mobile home all by themselves. They're only children, so someone would have to go there and take care of them. The whole family was present while I was there, including the kids' parents, my brother, and my parents. There were no lights on inside the house.
I decided to return home. I confronted this girl and got utterly shamed. She had no interest in me, she was of the opposite political spectrum and was engaged to be married within 3 days. I remember being laughed at by Mark Dice at one point for even going near the liberal lunatic. lol.

Motel fire
I spent a good deal of another dream recalling a memory that I don't believe exists. I was sure it was a past dream that I was recalling. I can't get all the details right now, but basically I was in an enclosed motel. It was oval shaped with doors and elevators split between 4 floors on either side. On the main floor was a very nice black marble. Very shiny and clean. On one said was the entrance, on the other was a waterfall and a giant eagle.
The motel appeared to be my place of employment, and my family was staying there for the weekend. A fire had broke out and everyone quickly grabbed their belongings and walked out of the building. The fire went on for several minutes, but it seemed to have been contained fairly quickly. I remember seeing big black clouds of smoke raise from the building, as there didn't appear to be a roof over the main part of the motel. The lobby area was mostly covered from the elements due to the floors above it, and the building connected over to other offices and businesses. I fabricated the story a bit as I was recalling it. I made it seem as though my family had lost everything in the fire and that we had to start anew, but that would not be the case as this was just a weekend stay.

I snapped by to reality (Or so I thought), and realized I was sitting on a sofa at my first job, talking to old friends. Nobody seemed real interested in my story. I walked outside and sat on the steps of the building talking to a coworker. We were all waiting for the newspaper truck to arrive to give us our papers that we would distribute to our customers. This person I was talking to was quizzing me and my brother to pass the time. She asked us a few questions and we had gotten them right. The last question was a hard one, and one I almost got right, but my brother leaned behind him and looked inside the door at a piece of paper on the inner door. It had said the answer to the question that was asked. The person asking the question got mad and took down the paper and hid it because my brother cheated. I went back inside and talked to an old friend Tim V. Tim never worked at this company before, but my dream self didn't seem to notice. He had aged a bit since I last saw him, but I could tell it was definitely him. I asked him how he's been and he started talking about his life issues and how depressed he's been.

I was on some kind of open top barge or house boat. It was choc full of junk, well some of it was antique stuff and old toys. Somebody there was trying to stop me from getting something so I flew up and out of the opening onto a building roof above. The roof overlooking the river and boat was choc full of junk as well.
The building morphed a bit and became the roof of a school. I did some more flying around and at this point said to myself this dream is really going on for a long while "Are dream" maybe I should take advantage of this fact and do some stuff.
So I did some mind control on the dcs who were there then everything went black and white and I woke up unable to maintain lucidity.

note: I remember saying to myself maybe I should have a go at getting lucid as it's holiday time now. This kind of pondering intention with no expectation attached has proved to be 100% effective in the past also, lol.

Fragment where I'm on some sort of flying platform with a group of people. We are flying above a lake that has a city around it. There's floating docks with disney characters on them. I remember someone was pointing out the different disney exhibits on each different floating island. There were people swimming in the water up to the docks to go to the exhibits and townhouses on docks surrounding them. At some point we flew down and joined an exhibit with cannons shooting fire.

Different location where I'm at a beach house with people from my childhood. I'm up on the second floor with some old man telling me things that will happen while we're lying in bed. I look up and see an old man and I feel that I'm working at a spa. The man starts to pleasure himself as myself and the workers are yelling at him to stop. I wake up out of bed and the old man is telling me that was going to happen.

At some point I'm downstairs at the pool of the house. I see my friend and during conversation I say something like "I told you so Chappy." I see my childhood friend's dad named Frank and another dad so I greet them. We have small talk. Jaden Smith is there and whatever he is performing is just awful. I'm jumping in and out of the pool.

The dream interrupts. I realize that I'm in sleep paralysis and am sort of thrown off. I didn't expect this to happen. Usually when sleep paralysis happens I sort of see it coming and then get hit by it, but this was instant. I'm lying in my sister's bed at home. There is not a door right in front of the bed IRL but in my actual room there is so in the sleep paralysis I imagine one. As soon as I imagine it I know where this is heading. As the door appears I close my eyes. I hear it slam open. I can feel my body flinch into my bed although I could not move. I try to throw myself upwards but nothing budges. My imagination brings someone into the room. I know who it is, it's Pennywise the dancing clown. My eyes are closed. I feel the vibration as he walks up to the bed. His deep voice speaks at me from my right. He says "I told you not to say this Grey." I can feel that when he says that, he moves very close to me. I become very calm as I want him to come closer.

I wake up not wanting to go back to bed.

I've been thinking about lucid dreaming for months now, feeling the vague urge to get back into it. Still, I've never had the proper motivation until now. I'm currently at home with my narc-dad and experiencing severe anxiety as a result, and since lucid dreaming was how I coped with all of this growing up, it seems suitable to rely on it now.

All recent dreams:

Pet Store
I had a rather long dream that was focused around the concept of pets and pet stores—actually it's more accurate to say that they were unsuitable pets, such as a straight-up crocodile, and one of those frilled-neck lizards (which I identified in the dream as a basilisk).
The pet store owner insisted that the basilisk would make a good pet and was very lonely besides. I looked down at the basilisk (contained in a glass aquarium that doubled as the pay counter) to see it scrabbling against the glass in a corner, in a way that I read as "being lonely and needing comfort." I made up my mind at that point to come back for it later, because adopting it was the only way to make absolutely sure it would be okay, even though I didn't feel fully qualified to take care of it and I needed more money.

I believe there was also something less related to pets, that had more to do with kids reading a book together. There was also something about going to a zoo.

Packing
I'm in the NH house with A, trying to pack for my upcoming flight. Unfortunately, I see that my pill bottle and the desk are absolutely covered in ants. In addition to regular ants, there are unrealistically tiny ants in a shifting mass.

Being Hacked
I dreamed that a server I was in charge of had been hacked, and the server files deleted. I didn't have a way to fix this, and I was trying to make the best of the few options I had.

The Dream:
I saw a strange dream 75 Days ago.
I saw I am in my sister's house in Tehran and Neighbor's daughter (6 years old) hugged me and told me come with me. She take me to the balcony. I saw cracks on the balcony and I shouted let leave the building everyone, It's collapsing. After just a moment I found myself and others in down of the building. I the building was in bad status. (Like Collapsing)

The Real World
Last Night was 75 day after the dream and I was just in the place (My sister's house) And earthquake happed. fortunately my not forced to leave after that. It was (5.2 Richter).

Notes say 'heroes in city', not sure what that refers to. I do vaguely remember some kind of 'time portal' in a wall (an ancient Japanese wall, with gorgeous paintings). There was a soundtrack. At some point Hiro Nakamura shows up (comes back from the past or future), but with prosthetic limbs, and a coffee machine on his head?

Second dream. Dad being a dick again and talking shit about me because the model airplanes I made as a child look like shit in his opinion. He says I'm as lazy as my "good-for-nothing brother". I feel powerless and enraged by it. I fantasized about murdering the shit out of him by ripping off his head. That's what tends to happen when I feel powerless. It's like I become a cornered wild animal. I get really, really mad. I woke up breathing rapidly, still upset. And disturbed by the level of imaginary violence I just unleashed on someone who did nothing to me in real life, and I'm supposed to love.

I'm in a room (in the sewers?), trapped. I look for a key to get out. Eventually I do. Eventually I'm driving a big vehicle (a truck?) through an industrial area closely resembling one of my (many) previous workplaces (tank farm, BASF). Someone sees me. It's my worst enemy from that time, Paul. I try to flee but give up after a short while. Turns out if not him at all, but a female fire safety officer (or whatever the role is called in English, we call it "veiligheidswacht" or "brandwacht). We talk for a bit, then I manage to leave. Back in the sewers now. A man-sized demon sees me. I flee, quickly climbing a ladder to a higher level. I crawl through a narrow space, but my passage through the next small room is blocked by a kind of smaller pig-demon. A fat guy is also stuck in that room. I kill the pig-demon with five shots from my shotgun. I got outside, onto the streets. My getaway driver arrives. The cops are watching from behind the windows of the building next to us. I tell the fat guy (who had a Hispanic name) to hurry up and get in the car before the cops get suspicious.

I was seated at a large table together with many of my former classmates. We were eating sandwiches (pistolets). I specifically remember T. Leyssens.

Long dream, but all I got is mostly forgotten one-word notes. I think I kidnapped the double of the headmaster of the school (a woman) and temporarily locked her up in a closet of sorts. I told her I was going to "make her rich" before I closed the closet door. I think I had some kind of scheme planned out that would make use of her physical resemblance to the headmaster to make lots of cash. I went to tell 'the others'. Including my former boss from work (P. Bosmans), who seemed as skeptical as always.

I was at home (apartment, 4th floor), and my mother was there too. A woman 'rings' the doorbell. I see her face on the screen of that doorbell gizmo of which I don't know the English name. Intercom? She looks like a stereotypical hooker. She orders me to let her in. Or else. She pulls out a revolver, and makes it clear that if I don't let her in, she'll break in and hurt us. I get super pissed off, a shot of adrenaline going through me, and tell her "mine's bigger" (I own an AR15 carbine and Remington 870 shotgun). As I walk towards the bedroom to get my artillery, I tell my mother to call the cops. I open the gun locker, and decide to settle for the Glock 19. It takes forever to get the gun ready, as the law requires the weapon to be unloaded, secured with a trigger lock, and ammo stores separately. As I was messing around with the bullets (my fine motor skills were impaired by the adrenaline rush), I felt like I was fully prepared to kill that woman. The idea that it felt so easy kind of scared me. My plan was to open my bedroom window (which is right above the front door), and give her ONE chance to fuck off. If she tried anything, she'd be dead. Luckily, moments before I could put my brash plan into action, I woke up. Still stiff with real-world adrenaline.

Had a dream involving me going to a dangerous country to help save a young boy who entered in by accident. He was a toddler when he walked on in, but this was a mission given to me a few years later. The country was violent and heartless. It trained the young to be strong fighters and to have hatred in their hearts. I was to go in by faith and try to convert a village of people to a better way of life, while taking the kid back home to his parents. I struggled greatly before I left, because I wanted someone, anyone else to do it instead. Unfortunately there was nobody else suited for the task. There was nobody more qualified.

Not only did I go in not knowing how to accomplish this task, I got thrown into participating in football matches as well, even though I am not a fan of the sport. I am not physically fit, and I barely know the rules of the game. Luckily I was playing against a high school team on a small field. They were using a softball instead of a football. I managed to get a good throw half way across the field and a team mate caught it and got a touchdown. This game went so well I was the designated guy to go filling in on various teams to secure their wins. This was tied to the previous task of saving the child. If I would become a well-known player in this sport, then my opinion would carry more weight, and people who be more prone to listening to what I had to say.


I think this dream kind of touches on my personal life a bit. I am very doubtful of my own skills, yet everyone around me pushes me to do greater things, and when I do I tend to succeed.

I think I was with a really nice girl for a while. Nothing too naughty, just caressing, kissing her all over, etc...