non-lucid

October 31st

It's been a day already since i had this dream so i dont remember much. But there's something curious that's related to it, that's why i decided to write it down.

I was in someone's house. I dont know if i really knew the guys that lived there or if they were just hosts like from couchsurfing or something like that. Anyways they had a studio where they would play musical instruments, and i went there and i grabbed a guitar. I think i started playing some riff. Then i hear one of the guys come to the studio and he puts a song and i think he also starts playing (tbh i dont know if he was playing the song and singing, or he just put the song to reproduce somewhere. Even though it was high quality i think it was the former). The song was "Highway to hell" from AC DC. I remember remembering the lyrics and thinking about the meaning of the song for a moment, that it would be directly opposite to what im trying to do lol. Then i woke up.

Later that day i watched a video on Youtube from Mike Maloney, i was actually waiting for his podcast since im interested in most of his videos now. Funnily the name for his new video was "Highway to Government hell". Even though the video has nothing to do with the interpretation i gave to the song, it's funny to see a coincidence in something i dreamt and this video i was waiting for to come out in real life.

November 1st

I dreamt that the battle between the living and the dead from Game of thrones finally started. The whole planet was dark, we were fighting on night. I actually wasnt fighting, but thousands of people were, around a castle; even though there was probably nowhere to escape since the war was everywhere. I was like in a part of the castle where i could see the battle, but i was not interfering. I was with other people including the king, a princess and some other comitee members. All people i trusted, so i was glad i was with them. We weren't going to be there forever, we were there strategically, but idk the reason. I remember Eddard Stark was alive and defending the other wall, playing a similar role we were. But meanwhile we were watching Jon Snow fight, in a bamboo bridge connecting the castle to the mainland. We saw that the dead were really scary, not because they were dead but because they actually werent joking and didnt nor wouldnt give up in the fight, they would annihilate everyone. Then we saw the bridge break... the bamboo poles were conected with strings, and apparently those strings were cut or broken (i dont think someone cut them, but they broke because the bridge was holding a lot of weight). It was a long fall, and there wasnt any water down there, in fact there was more fighting going on, but down there there were many more dead than living. Even though the fall was long, the bamboo poles were huge and they fell first. When they bounced back they kinda like cushioned Jon Snow's fall. When he fell on the ground he was still alive and fine, although unconscious. We were already there waiting, and as soon as we were able to grab him we put him on a bamboo litter and covered him with more bamboo, so nobody could peek and see who was in there. Generals from the opposing army started freaking wanting to find him to kill him. One of them was him:

and the other one looked like Igor. We headed to the city, and for that we crossed the battlefield (the city wasnt inside the castle). For some reason we weren't attacked and we literally crossed only the army of the dead right there, we even were a few meters away from the General (although if he saw us he would have attacked us). When we entered the city it was still night night, much time hasnt happened. We knew we were being chased (not by the army, for some reason they werent interested in us at all) so we needed to hide. We found a house at the entrance of an alley. The people that were ahead of me entered first and closed the door, then i had to shout and hit the door asking them to open it again for me. I thought they were going to leave me outside, but they realized i wasnt in there, and that it was me shouting, so they opened it. Inside it was comfortable and safe. We even forgot about Jon Snow... lol (apparently it was me who had him, but idk where i would be carrying him, since he doesnt fit in a pocket lol and i wasnt carrying a huge weight). Inside the house there was a very hot girl, kinda provocative. It was her house and 1 or 2 more people lived there. They were all university students. I dont know how it started , but i kissed her and we got passionate. There were more people kissing in that room. We got up and she showed me her room, which was on a third floor in that humble house. We entered her room and then i noticed that something was quite strange... and before i could get lucid the dream started collapsing.

Then for the final fragment i will summarize it:

- I was in a landscape. The ground was more dry than green, kinda like somewhere near Talampaya (similar to the Grand Canyon). There were 2 riders following us, me and my father. We shot them (even though im strongly opposed to that) and we decided we would dig holes [Yesterday i saw a video about German lessons, and in one of the examples the teacher mentioned that "Germans dig holes at night" haha. He said that so that we can remember the word `spät` which is similar to `spade`]. We also shot the horses by accident, so i took a couple of energy bars (not edible, more like radioactive bars) i had with me and threw them to the horses. One of them may have even died, but when i threw the bars they were both back to life and good (so this means that if we did the same to the riders then they could have been fine. And i thought of doing it, but idk why i didnt).

- Then i went inside a house, where my father's family finished having dinner. Then i went to the back of the house where i would sleep.

- At the back of the house i didnt stay there for long. When my grandmother came in to look for some tissues, i thought it was time to go back home.

Afternoon of August 8, 1976. Sunday. About 4:30 PM.



In real life at about 4:30 in the afternoon, I had fallen asleep in my Cubitis home’s southwest bedroom (with the bed’s head against the middle of the south wall and my mother’s desk to the left of the bed). While I was still sleeping, my mother had come in to do some writing at her desk. The room was warm, almost uncomfortably so.

---

In my dream, I am wandering about in what is apparently the location of “The Bob Newhart Show” television series. Not many events stayed in my memory as it may have been mostly replays from the series from having seen it in real life.

Near the end of my dream (about the time my mother starts talking loudly in reality), I see Bob Newhart walking quickly towards a revolving door from within the lobby of a building. He smiles at me in sincere friendliness and cheerfulness and waves while carrying his briefcase in his other hand. He goes into the revolving door to leave the building.

At this exact point, I am rudely awakened by my mother exclaiming, seemingly in a sarcastic manner, “Boy, that must be some dream!” I was somewhat disoriented about my location before fully waking.

Apparently, I had been grinning widely in my sleep. She thought I was dreaming about girls, but I was so annoyed by her presumption and having been woken up, I never told her what I had actually been dreaming about.

---

Most relevant key terms:

• Interrupted dream from my mother speaking loudly and waking me up.
• Doorway waking symbolism. A doorway symbolizes here, the potential exit point of the dream state in real time.
• Preconscious as male celebrity (actor and comedian) ascending into emergent consciousness with happiness and no conflict.
• Revolving door as symbolizing puzzlement in higher liminal space as representing my dream being truncated, with uncertainty over my dream ending or reintiating.
• While sleeping in my Cubitis home’s southwest bedroom instead of my bedroom.
• Grinning while sleeping and dreaming.

---

2017, 10-30

The Exorcism of Asuka

I am in a house that I do not recognize. I look around to try to figure out where I am. The house basically looks normal, except it is dark. The shadows are darker than they should be. I also don’t like the feeling I get while I’m here. Like something is watching me. I start looking around to figure out what is going on. I leave what looks like the living room and go into a kitchen. I still don’t recognize it. I hear a strange noise from behind me. A strange noise, weird clicking noise like I heard first on the movie called The Grudge. The sound is creepy, but I want to know what is making it. It sounds like it is in the living room where I just left. I go back into the living room. Now the shadows seem even darker. And some of them are moving. One of them moves and grows and takes shape. It takes the form of a woman crawling on the floor. She is the one making the Grudge noises. And she also seems to be able to turn her head at a completely unnatural angle. I am thinking that maybe she needs healing. I remember thinking that in the movie The Grudge only the ghost of the husband was evil, the others were corrupted by his evil. They got corrupted when he murdered them. So now would be a perfect time to purge that darkness out of her.

As she gets closer to me, instead of running out of the room like a lot of people do, I focus on the song Touch My Heart from the Devil Hunter soundtrack. The music plays in the room, and pillar of light energy surrounds the Grudge woman. She seems to float off the ground as if the energy was lifting her. The light energy from this song also purges the shadows from every corner of the room. And I have a feeling that the light energy doesn’t stop there, it is cleaning out the entire area. As the song ends, the woman is set gently back down on the ground. For a minute she is still laying there, and I cannot see her face. I am hoping that she is OK. I go over to help her if she needs it, and when she looks at me I recognize her now. Now she looks like Asuka. She gets up off the floor looking rather confused. I ask her if she’s OK? She says yes, she is. She says she just… and hesitates here… tripped. I wonder if she has no recollection of acting like the Grudge woman.

I ask her if she remembers that, or if she remembers my song. She says I just got there. She looks around and says the place looks dirty. I tell her it might need some more cleansing. She was going totally Grudge woman around here. She doesn’t seem to know what I’m talking about. I’m wondering if it is gone, or if it just retreated? I am thinking she might need another healing spell. Just to be sure. I focus on the song Full Moonlight this time. This is also from the Devil Hunter soundtrack. This song creates a glowing orb in the center of the room, it looks like the moon. Size of this orb expands and fills the room. It then continues to expand beyond that. It is not solid, so it has no effect on the physical objects or people in the room. Once the song is over I noticed that the room looks a lot better. It looks as if someone has just given it a really good cleaning. I ask Asuka if she’s feeling OK? She pauses for a bit, and then says she is. She says she’s feeling OK, just a little tired. I comment that she might need some rest after having that dark energy in her. She says that might be a good idea. She turns to go upstairs, and about the same time I wake up.

All that I can remember is that I was at a live-in center where I would learn skills on how to improve myself or something. I have only vague memories of the place. At some point, I learned that the food was provided by Walmart. This was a relief as I was afraid that the food would be provided by "Sysco." I've had Sysco food before, it is not the greatest. Though my relief would be short lived as I would later learn that this center had signed a new contract with Sysco. I groaned as I saw the Sysco truck pull in.

At the dining hall, I decided to bring my own meal as I did not want to eat Sysco's food. I was right to do this, the spaghetti that they were serving was nasty.

Later I am at a place where a concert was held. I was there with Olga Pataki to help clean up the mess. I remember that I was doing this for a specific reason though I cannot remember what that reason was.

I'm at some place outdoors. Like an outdoor market or amusement park. On our way back, we have to go through same areas, but now they are full of Disney "attractions". The basically stuffed the place with all kinds of stuff, like racks of shirts and things I couldn't identify. We had to push our way through all that, it was so tightly packed. We were pissed.

There were also some bad guys infiltrating the area, so we climbed on the roofs and watched them from there.

2.
Now I'm in a huge restaurant type of a room. Lots of people. I go after someone who sprayed tomato sauce all over everybody. I'm organizing it.

Suddenly I'm this buff chick, very strong. I'm also a lead actress in this badass action movie they are about to tape. Tons of production people are around. We try some scenes on the ground, in the pool and me swinging on some bars and jumping to other bars. I look up and there is a huge crane next to a high rise building and that's where I'm suppose to do it. I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

Travelling in search of food/provisions in a post apoc times. We come across a settlement but they are not friendly, a large woman gives me the creeps, she has glasses and a big red jumper. We flee but they have the local cops on their side too and we have a shoot out. S goes back in time and saves the day by keeping them pinned down till help arrives.
The dream then repeats a heap of times Oo. She had an old western style six shooter.

I'm in a house in Iceland, that looks like my mom's kitchen. They are talking to me in icelandic, but I don't understand them, because I don't speak that.

Outside, it's overcast, cold. Looks like street outside of my childhood house. Kids just got out of the large metal tub outside in their front yard. They are all Icelanders. Short, blond hair, I'm amazed they are not cold to me in swimsuits. But I guess the water was hot. I wake up and I'm cold from sleeping at opened window.

At a large table with icelanders, eating food.

Notes say "prison", but I remember nothing.

In another dream, I was sitting in a control room (like the one at the chem plant I used to work at). Benny (ex-colleague from there) was there. I was surprised he hadn't been promoted yet? I think he'd been demoted, even. Meanwhile, I was having a dream conversation with the ASMR girl I was listening to in real life at that moment. Her RL sentences leaked through into the dream and manifested as a conversation I was having with her, but I noticed she kept talking even if I didn't reply.

I was in a very large room, and was corned by a large monster (about 20 feet tall). It was about to eat me. Suddenly an even bigger monster (50 feet tall, easily, white fur) burst through the wall behind it, and ate the monster instead. It smiled at me, and I expressed my gratitude for the save. It asked me why I didn't ask for its help earlier. Then an RPG-style "dialogue" started, and I could choose from several answers. One of the three answers simply said "anbebekudu". I googled that word (still in the dream), and found a definition that actually sounded reasonable (but I forgot). Upon waking up, I googled it in real life, and it of course means nothing.

I was in the Netherlands with my deceased grandmother (on father's side). There's a lot to explain in this dream and I'm way too lazy to describe all the details. She was having a drink at an outdoor terrace. I ran around the block for some reason. The accent of the people around me told me I was in the Netherlands. Eventually I got back to grandma, and more stuff happened that made me feel very emotional. I was filled with intense (real life) grief and regret, mostly about the death of my grandfather, and my complete inability to show emotion near others (meaning I never told him how much he meant to me before he died). I hugged my grandmother and let it all out. Very unlike me. And shameful in retrospect. I think my mom was there, too. She was surprised I was so emotional.

It began with a pirate woman and her slave boy. I don't remember where exactly this took place but I do remember that this woman was able to reverse the gravity in the room and cause things to fall "up." When I came onto the scene I saw that she had her slave boy trapped on the ceiling. She reversed the gravity causing him to fall and then reversed it again before he hit the ground. The boy was clearly terrified and begged her to stop. She wouldn't though. The woman was clearly enjoying toying with the boy like this. I don't remember what became of him.

Sometime later, I ended up in some sort of RPG-like dungeon. I don't remember who I was with but I remember that we were there to do something. We ended up running a perilous gauntlet and we were able to make it through after several tries.

As we were exiting the dungeon we saw Sandy from SpongeBob Squarepants holding on for dear life as a flying pirate ship attempted to suck her up through a giant vacuum. We rescued her by pulling her into the dungeon. She was grateful.

I was somewhat aware it was a dream and driving with a faulty break pedal. I wanted so badly to stop but I forgot about the emergency break and wanted to go home.(focused on the mechanics of the car more than the dream people I almost ran into) I recall going through a obstacle course, passing stop lights, avoiding crowds and eventually parking next to home where a man was stopping drivers. Lastly with the other drivers I looked at a rack with hanging rope accessories that represented each one of us.


(Pic does not belong to me)

Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now are living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house (where I have not lived since 1978 and where Zsuzsanna and our children have never been).

It is unique in that most of the northwest corner of the living room is directly open to outside, additionally with no discernible carport that was there in real life (this alteration never having occurred in any previous dream as all dream settings are unique and different from each other, at least in my lifelong dreaming history), yet also with some sort of set of screen doors (a play on “screening” RAS in this case). It is seemingly nighttime throughout the entire dream. I notice the preconscious (an unknown male of about thirty-five) sitting in a lawn chair in the front yard, at about a forty-five degree angle in facing towards the doors from about fifteen feet away. He has a flashlight or some sort of small lamp. He seems to be cheerful, but I am aggravated by him being in the front yard and watching my family.

As a result of a subliminal dream state awareness, I find myself holding two barbells (without the weights), my weapon of choice in this type of dream, though I typically only have one (though in this case, subliminal dream control seems closer to viable lucidity). I cross the barbells across my chest in an X shape and tell the preconscious to leave my dream and to stop watching my family. However, he phases through the screen door and is then in the living room. Before there is coalescence (waking integration of dream self and emergent consciousness), I somehow trigger a shift (probably by the X over my chest) to where the doorway waking symbolism is decremented.

I then (non-lucidly) create a number of dream servants (all male in this case) who take the preconscious and other characters that had been in the front yard to a zoo that is presumably south of the house by about seven lots (probably near where my brother Earl’s southerly neighbor lived in real life in the mid-1970s).

I have my dream servants take the preconscious and his minions into a “deeper” section of the zoo, behind stacks of possibly empty cardboard boxes (which symbolize parts of the mind or memory that are inactive in the dream state). I am aware that there are a number of large wild animals walking around freely, but I am not within that section. I reason that they (the unwanted male characters) will not be able to leave unless I allow them to. I know there are elephants and rhinoceroses there, the main animals I think about, and I also hear them.

While standing near the empty cardboard boxes, an unusual monkey jumps up on one at about waist height. It walks mostly on all fours and is about the size of a kitten. I consider that it seems like some sort of unlikely miniature baboon rather than a normal monkey or ape. It lightly nibbles on my fingers, which makes me slightly wary at first, but then I decide that it probably will not bite me. Perhaps it is hungry.

As it turns out, it is a kitten, as my oldest daughter’s new pet kitten had been lightly nibbling on my fingers in reality as I was sleeping.

---

I had a long dream but many things happened on different places. Now it's been like 3 hours since i woke up and i don't remember everything but i'll write down what i do remember. The fragments may not be in chronological order.

Fragment #1: I was in Banda Norte. For some reason i was there like on vacation. Instead of being in Las Sierras or somewhere else with more flora, i was in a neighborhood. Anyways i remember i was in the street, it was morning and there was sunlight. I was looking at the front doors of the houses (thing i've been doing in real life oftenly this past month, since i wanted to check if there were more wooden doors than plate doors). My aunt for some reason lived on the corner of the block instead of living at the middle where she actually lives. Her house had the nicest entry door in the block, showing off the work that his brother (my uncle, a carpenter) did. There was also like some turmoil in the neighborhood, idk why.

Fragment #2: I was living in a old but spacious rented house with my parents. We just moved and we were poor. The house had furniture and systems that were used probably in the 19th century.

Fragment #3: I was in my father's bedroom. I was talking to him, i dont remember what we were talking about. He gave me 4 buns which i ate. And at the time i was eating the 4th my mother and her couple came in and brought more. I was almost vomiting with the one i was eating, it was too much, so i couldnt accept more. We were again on like a vacation, and my mother and her couple went to explore the city and buy some things. But we live in that city! There's nothing to explore! Lol

Fragment #4: I dreamt with a black dog. (i currently have a cat, and i had a white dog). He was disturbed because he had a toy that produced heat which went without battery i think. I took the toy, showed it to him, and then i laid on the floor and hugged him. After that i dont remember what i did, but i know that he'd not need the toy ever again.

Fragment #5: This was the last dream. I was in the streets with my aunt from fragment 1. There were some small kids who had no parents but took refugee in some houses (not empty houses, families lived there). Those families had each one a religion of their own, so my aunt wanted to take them out of the houses, talk to them and convince them to go to an orphanage to find families "the proper way". When she took the children out to the street to talk to them, the morning religious ceremonies began to prepare. And although my aunt wanted to force her view on these children, the children simply responded something like "we don't care, we are happy here" and 1 by 1 started to walk away towards their ceremonies. My aunt couldnt deliver her message, and she looked like she was trying to force her view, which the priests saw. I walked past the priests. I was neither with my aunt nor with those religions and would never be. I was on my own and i was sure of my path, but at that moment i was a bit angry as well, because i disliked those religions. I walked in a hall, and went to take a sit. The parents of a school friend were on the hall side, and the father like leaned on my shoulder while he was talking to someone else. I was still angry and i disliked that gesture so i forcefully took him off my shoulder and went on to sit next to his son. I was in no mood to tolerate that stupidity, not even if it was a parent of a friend.

Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday.



I am in an unknown room that is about twice the size of our lounge room. It seems to be a public area, but only at certain times, resulting in ambiguity in also being our implied home. As a result, there are no associations with unknown people who are present at times as being intruders as in many other dreams. Also, everyone else in my dream remains cheerful except for the baby in the last scene.

There is a story in the background, unrelated to the main scenario, that relates to someone traveling by motorcycle. There is a video about it but I do not fully focus on it. There is also a point at which one of my dark-haired female teachers (implied only) from elementary school appears, though this character is actually unknown and unfamiliar.

I decide to get a haircut because I notice a few strands that are longer than they should be. I had just gotten a haircut in this place, but another one will be given. There is no association with money or paying for the service. I watch, apparently in a mirror, as long clusters from my otherwise short hair are combed out and cut, mostly from the back. The detail is very realistic.

After this, I look at my hair and hairstyle. I decide to comb my hair to the other side from how it was cut and styled. This makes it look slightly wrong, so I decide to get a third haircut.

A little later, I discover I have a short Mohawk and I have no hair at all on either side of it. I cannot work out what happened. I consider that I must have fallen asleep and that they had probably given me anesthesia without me realizing it (or even giving permission). I have no memory of any hair being cut this short or of a razor shaving my head on each side. (Even though questioning if I had fallen asleep is one of the most obvious dream state indicators possible, I do not question my present status of possibly being asleep and dreaming. As a haircut symbolizes the real-time dynamics of neural energy in REM sleep, having been “asleep” in my dream validates now having only a small amount of hair down the middle of the top of my head.) I am somewhat angry and self-conscious about this haircut but not that outwardly emotional or vocal about it. The unknown male who had apparently done this says it is the best haircut I could have for my face and that I look good. I consider this and decide that it might be okay to go out in public like this, as some men have no hair at all. I note how smooth the hairless areas of my head are, so it was a very good job on their part, as there were no accidental cuts either.

Only a short time later, I discover that my hair is as it was before I got the first haircut (though it is now longer than it is in real life). I am puzzled, yet I do not realize that this could only happen in a dream (and it symbolizes my emergent consciousness being more viable at this point, though the preconscious is never directly dominant or aggressive in this situation, though this was not my last dream of the day). I am trying to mentally resolve how they could have done this, but it does not seem possible (and I do not converse with them about this). On one level, I am glad my hair is as it was, but the mystery remains.

Meanwhile, there is an offset scenario where a baby seems to be having difficulty in remaining on stacks of books in a plastic storage box. He drops down into a couple rows of lower stacks on his left a few times (as the older boys place him back on the highest stacks each time) and cries about bumping down onto the books. Our youngest son and a few other boys are looking at the baby who I see in profile with his head oriented to the right of the scene. I make a comment to them about being careful with him, though he does not seem to be hurt.

---

Despite this being a perfect opportunity to become lucid, I do not. It almost seems like a subliminal experiment to test myself, as a haircut symbolizes associations with the level of neural energies in the dream state in real time (with no RAS activation, only a slight shift in levels of consciousness). The baby on the books in the storage box is a metaphor for critical thinking skills not being extant in the dream state. In fact, this is direct parallel symbolism analogous to my failure to realize my dream state by way of the impossible hair changes and real time neural energy dynamics and their level and length (length of time for emergent consciousness viability as a play on length of hair). (Dropping down onto a lower stack of books relates to decreasing dynamics of conscious self identity in the dream state despite this being near the end of my dream, though again, not the last dream of the sleeping period or with sustained wakefulness afterwards, which clarifies and validates this dual symbolism.)

---

I was working in the backroom of a retail store. My boss, Casey**, was there and we were the only two. There were two openings in the backroom the led into caverns. Casey wanted me to retrieve some kittens from the cavern. I do not remember what happened exactly when I was in the cavern but I do remember that I was able to acquire the kittens. The kittens were very intelligent and were able to learn tricks. We really liked having them around.

In a later dream fragment, I was attending college in England. I don't know why but they had to assign me to a girls dorm. I arrived late at night and my dorm mates were already asleep. The funny thing is, it wasn't so much a dorm as it was a two-story duplex. The place I was staying in consisted of a living room and a bathroom. We were to sleep on mattresses on the floor. There were two girls staying with me and they were already asleep. I was afraid of how they'd respond when they found a guy in their dorm. There was a mattress waiting for me. I walked over to it, lied down and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up before the girls did and looked around the room. The walls were wooden and the floor was covered with a purple shag carpet. Our dorm overlooked a beach and the big windows gave us a clear view. My roommates woke up soon after. One was surprised to find a guy sleeping in their dorm but the other explained that I would be staying with them. The took a moment to examine me and commented that I was "hot." Apparently, they were both warming up to the idea of having an "attractive" male in their dorm. I don't know why but this made me uneasy.

I left to use the bathroom then came back out to find that they were listening to a song by Slipknot (I don't remember which one). They were curious as to what the meaning of the song was and so I began to explain it to them. I woke up before I was done explaining.

**Casey (not her real name) is my boss IRL though we I actually work at the mall, not a retail store.

28/10/17
Dream 1: I was playing some kind of RPG where the world was being taken over by some dark force. At the same time I think I was a part of or listening to a podcast with Ben Shapiro and his wife, for some reason. The world I was saving got invaded by 3 different armies and which changed the weather in 3 different locations. I asked Ben for advice on how to fix this, and he ignored me for a bit and then his wife answered, so I changed the weather back to normal in those areas.