side notes

This dream is recorded in Fragments.

1) I bought weed from someone and kept it in a small dental floss case. Susie/Dee Dee later entered the room and asked to search my bags for it, I let them and she found it. We talked and she said she would not tell anyone but she was clearly upset. I told her it had been a long time since i last smoked

2) I was crossing the Golden Gate Bridge but it was a bridge made out of water. it was like a smoothe lake and i wondered "how do they build such flat water on the lake"

3) when we crossed to the other side we some how ended up in the water. A bunch of people were in there and i fraked everyone out by saying "yes the Golden Gate Bridge is a famous great white shark breeding zone" then a man came by and sprayed some solution near the exit to the water which removed the 2nd hand ciggarette smoke the water so we were able to get out

3) was with some old friends and kept wanting to do like a dog pile on em

I've started working on Sageous's WILD classes, and read a great wiki about dream incubation, and how it can be used with MILD or WILD to incubate a lucid dream. I'm now using that in conjunction with a mantra and RCs.

I had to chose a location that was specific to my lucid dreams. I decided to use a beach, with palm trees. Because many of my first lucid dreams involved being on a beach, and it was where I first met my dream guide. I also thought that it offered many possibilities for a lucid dream.

My actual dream from last night consisted of me and my friends swimming at some lake. It was not really a tropical or beach setting, but for my first night of attempting dream incubation, it was close enough.
A bunch of friends from my school were there, and we were just sort of hanging around and playing in the water and stuff. It was not particularly interesting, but tonight I have the opportunity to go to bed much earlier.

Ok well over the past few months I have been having horrible recall. I feel frustrated since all of my life I have had pretty good dream recall except a few years in my 20s . I have always been able to ld except for that time frame either. I also have always had insomnia
This is my new annoyance I get to sleep I even know that I have been lucid. I wake up I lay down not moving recalling my dream so I can jump up and write it down then the oddest thing happens the second I move my head I lose all of it . I know i have been having dreams and even been lucid I know they revolve around my recurring dream places but I can not remember the actual dreams. I get lucky and sometimes get some fragments
todays fragment was me telling someone my name was something like atlantis ? Why thats not my name and I knew I felt strongly about it and really wanted the guy to know my name.
anyways I feel like I am not meant to remember my dreams right now or something

No recall.

[I just traveled back to school, and it might take a few days for my dream recall to adjust to the new setting. Also, that means classes are starting soon, and I'm probably going to have a lot less time to write these entries. I'll still try to update every day, even if I don't have enough time to write down all the details. Hold me to it! ]

After a lot of misses and less hits with DILDs, WILDS, EILD, Subliminal methods and everything that I could possibly throw at this every night, I finally found a method that seems to be working for me. I found out about this due to curiosity. At first I thought the first try was just luck but it seemed peculiar to me. But when I did this successfully 2 more times I found out that this simple method actually works! And it gave me more consistent hits then the DILD method alone.

Basically what I did yesterday was I just went about my day and wasn't even thinking about Lucid Dreaming because I was in the stage where I nearly gave up because I was going at it so long. But during a visit from a friend I suddenly had a random thought about how my friend keeps being portrayed in my dreams. Then I thought to myself.... "I will have a LD tonight." and I did it while knowing that I would, with no doubt in my mind. Then I would push that aside and forget about it while going about the rest of my day.

Sure enough, during a dream about Candy and awesome tasting cookies that were put left out on a living room table. And my NJROTC class (which seemed to much more like the military then a high school program.) I got mad at them because I wound up being the odd man out somehow. And I got in a verbal and almost physical argument with one of the higher ups. It seemed to me that a lot was at steak because we were in a parking garage complex and some kind of enemy was out there. After the argument I realized that I wasn't just the odd man out anymore, I now had to get out of there because I apparently did something worse. So I dashed out and I looked around my surroundings which were beautiful. It seemed to me that this was an entire base out in the middle of an awesome grassy field. The grass wasn't ridiculously long it was about as normal as my grass in the back yard. but the color green was more faded with the evening sky. The sun wasn't fully down yet. Suddenly the feeling of being in between awake and asleep came to me, it didn't hit me, it kind of faded in while I was running. Then I said to myself subconsciously, "there it is again! That feeling!" I stopped for a moment and thought, "Alright now I'm going to try running at sound speed!" I closed my eyes and I could feel myself running, (which was awesome!) but I couldn't feel that push or any speeding up. I opened my eyes again and sure enough I was going at normal pace. I thought that if I focused that I'd be able to. Then I consciously, and on purpose, tried to really do a Kamehameha wave, but all I got was a near black out because I really focused the crap out of it and pushed it. Then I thought to myself that I need to ground this dream more. So I ran over to the metal roof that was buried in the ground and that led to the other distant part of the base. It was an outside spot with all of this stuff. Basically I got the impression that this was a small refugee camp or something. I started to feel the metal and focus on it, but it was too much in a hurry because the sub thought conveniently came at the back of my mind that I'm going to lose control again. I could feel the metal on my hands which was a first because I never felt anything in my dreams like that before. I could feel the bumpy surface and everything, but I lost the control. Then some other random dreams followed.

Despite the fact that I messed up. I didn't fail, this was a learning experience that helps me so much now. Now I know it was that feeling that I got when I would wind up in limbo after being knocked silly out of a dream. It was the same feeling from the first Lucid I ever had. I remember it, and I felt it, and now I know this method works! It simply uses the weapon that I'm using already during my waking life, I believe that there isn't anything that I can't do as long as I put my mind to it, failure only happens if I let it. It's because of this state of mind that I'm excelling in my college classes and my art work is looking the way it should, and the way I want it. This technique supports DILD and I think it may support others as well I don't know but I'll check as I continue fooling around with this one. BOO YEAH!!!

(Wow, I haven't updated my DJ in a while! No, my recall hasn't been failing me; I've just been getting lazy with writing down my dreams. Oops!)

I successfully DEILDed for the first time this morning!

It was actually a complete accident. I wasn’t actually intending to DEILD until I started seeing vivid hypnagogic imagery and saw it as a good opportunity. I just focused on the HI and started describing what I saw in my mind - at first, just to myself, but I guess I shifted to narrating to my subconscious at some point; at one point, I addressed my subconscious as “you guys”, only to realize what I’d just said, apologize, and say, “Well, the one or many of you.”

I soon started to become aware of where I was, but I wasn’t dreaming yet. It was more like vivid wonderland visualization during an active forcing session; I couldn’t physically see a thing, but I was well aware of where I (and everything else) was. The place I was was just this random field that I drive past fairly frequently IWL. After not too long, I crossed the road and realized I could actually see properly and must have entered the dream. In addition to the road, I saw that there was now an additional road branching off from it. I somehow knew that this road must lead to my subconscious. A couple cars did go that way; they must have been driven by dream guides/part of my subconscious.

I noticed a box on the ground. It was a cardboard box (like a package something would be delivered in) addressed to me. I knew it was from my subconscious. Before opening it, I decided I should stabilize by doing an RC. I counted my fingers but ended up counting only five on each hand (strange, that RC almost never fails me), but I still knew I was dreaming, as I’d consciously made the transition to the dream state. I picked up the box again anyway and saw that it was now addressed to my brother (accidental text RC much?). I knew it was still really for me (as it was in my dream), so I decided to open it anyway.

Before I even had a chance to open it, everything went black, and I realized I was awake. Disappointed, I opened my eyes and got up. I’m definitely going to try to go back there, though; I have to follow that subconscious road!

(EDIT: Whoa, ignore the wonderland/forcing thing if you have no idea what I'm talking about. I copied this straight from my tumblr and forgot to remove that part, oops!)

Did not remember dream

I just woke up from having a nap, and I vividly remember some parts of the dream I had. The most confusing for me was that I dreamed a man wanted to rape me... but I ended up being willing and enjoying it and lying to my fiance about it by telling him I was raped. The man was very good looking, not violent or sadistic and was quite well endowed. I'm not sure what all of this means in the least, I just wanted to get it down before the memory dissipated.

For now, my only idea is that maybe it is representing the things I am missing in my life?

This is my very first lucid dream that I can remember. Here is how it goes:
I was walking around outside in complete daylight, everything seemed nice and I kept looking at my feet while walking towards a tree that was right outside of my dogs fence, (it's not really there in reality.)
I stopped half way to the tree when I spotted a HUGE anaconda, this instantly made me lucid. Snakes are a big sign that I'm dreaming, because they are frequently in them. Whenever I see or think about snakes I do a reality check, this way whenever I have a dream with snakes in it I will (hopefully) pinch my nose.
Anyways, I started looking around and then I suddenly fell down, and the dream scape then changed. I woke up on a couch in a hotel, I pinched my nose and I felt how I was still breathing and then I knew once again that I was dreaming. (Hehe, I made a rhyme... Well, I think I did)
I looked around and saw my parents sitting on another couch, they were talking. I focused on trying to make the whole dream clearer, so I shouted things such as "clarity now!" and "vividness now!", but it did not work very well, so I went up to my mother, who was eating something, and I said "show me unconditional love!" (it was all I could think of.)
She took me in her arms and said: "Darling stop talking nonsense."
I laughed, because I was in shock at how the hug felt exactly how it would feel in reality, yet the dream was still not very vivid.
I then did a foolish thing. Since this was a DILD I guess I was still not in my right mind...
I looked at my mother, and father, and told them that I wanted to wake up now, so that I could tell my friends/family.
My mom grabbed my shoulder gently, and said "whatever you want sweetheart."
I thought that she was going to wake me up, but I was wrong, I had to to it myself, so I closed my eyes tightly and opened them really fast, and I awakened on my bed. I was in misery, I mean, I just let a perfectly fine lucid dream go to waste... Shame on me.

Awake/SP, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in an elaborate, fantasy landscape. I fall over the side of a cliff and start falling down the side of a mountain, which has terraces in it and lots of trees, but the trees are all growing out of the side of the mountain. As I fall, I think, I could expect there to be a soft, grassy field below me for me to land on, and there would be one. I try to do exactly that, but it doesn't work. Eventually, I remember that I can fly, and fly back up to the top of the cliff/mountain.

[That's all I can remember now of an awesome, detailed, elaborate lucid dream that was remarkably long for my first sleep cycle of the night. I was really, really determined to have a lucid dream last night, and my determination and MILDing worked. I also remember choosing to stay in and prolong the dream at least twice, but I don't remember any more details. I really should have taken a moment to write them down in my paper dream journal after I woke up.]

[Later, different part of the night.] I feel, more clearly and with more awareness than I ever have before, all my major muscles transitioning into their paralyzed state. After a moment, a dream begins to form. Some Viking-warrior-looking guys who look like they came straight out of a movie by Aardman Animations are standing over me, watching me wake up. We're all in a big wooden hall. The dream is very weak, fuzzy, and indistinct, though, and although I try to focus on it, it fades away before I can get into it fully. This can be partially blamed on the fact that I'm completely fascinated by the experience I've just had, and this novel feeling of being “stuck” in my sleeping body while still being consciously aware.

Welcome to SP, I think. That wasn't so bad, was it? I lie still and observe the experience. Although I'm conscious, in a way I never am in waking life, of my breathing happening automatically, I feel like I'm not getting enough air. I realize that that's because I have my forearms crossed over my chest so that their dead weight is resting right on top of my ribcage. I can feel my left-hand fingertips touching the skin of my right arm, but I feel removed from the sensation. I hope for another dream to start, but it doesn't. I attempt to visualize a scene, but it's a very halfhearted effort and doesn't go anywhere. Also, I have my head tilted to my right at an awkward angle, which makes me think, I'm going to feel that in the morning. After a few minutes, I get bored and decide to get up and use the restroom. I have no problem getting back to normal wakefulness.

Side notes:
I've always been afraid to try WILDing because I'd never experienced sleep paralysis, and I was afraid that I might experience hypnagogic hallucinations or sensations that would frighten me. This was the first time I'd ever really experienced SP. It was cool and weird, but not frightening at all, and I didn't experience any hypnagogic hallucinations. Getting over your fear of something is always nice.

Although I haven't written anything here for quite some time, I still maintain my dream journal offline. I will upload them once I find time.

Meanwhile, I moved on from Ninja9578's Subliminal Audio 1 to Lotus Flame by LaBerge. Seems neither of them was very helpful. I was also experimenting with Mugwort, but not full time. I tried burning a few, but the coal was not lighting up properly. Although I did have some almost-lucid dreams, nothing was very definite.

Today, I moved on to Ninja's Subliminal Audio 2. I played it all night long while I was working. The result was very promising. I became aware in the middle of an interesting dream. That was my first lucid dream for quite some time, where I really decided to confront an opponent. I have an almost-lucid dream yesterday (or a few days back, I think), but it felt more like being in a drunk-dream.

I will post them soon.

Firstly this dream happened yesterday 2012-09-23. And as always sorry for bad English.

I was driving with my orange Aston Martin Vantage and I followed every GPS order. I arrived to a camp and started to walk to wooden house with huge metal door. I entered. There was a room with white walls and black floor. In middle of the room there was a huge king sized bed with huge pillows. In a corner of the room was a small bed and a computer on a desk.
I sat down on the king sized bed and a girl entered through metal door.She had long brown hair and she was wearing a blue tank top and white shorts. She looked shy but she laughed silently. She came close to me and hugged me. I gently kissed that girl. *It felt real*
Suddenly a guy with a huge boombox entered room. I and the girl got scared but we recognized him and we started to laugh. The dude went to small bed in the corner of the room and lied down. I left the room.
There was a lot of people in yard of the wooden building. My Aston Martin Vantage changed to Aston Martin DBS and in a second it got back to original form. I came close to my car and entered it. I started the engine and I took it for a spin. Then I got back and left my car I heard a glass getting smashed. It was my car window. I said: My insurance will pay every penny of this window so I don't care who threw a rock in my expensive car. I turned around to my car and my car changed to a white Alfa Romeo 147. *I wasn't pissed at all. My 200k $ car changed to a car that costs almost the same as a new high-end computer so yeah it didn't looked strange for me*
A ball fell near me. I took it and I saw a crowd of teenagers playing dodgeball (or whatever that game calls). All of people were running including me from a few ball throwing muscular mans. A guy with red hair stopped me and started to talk to me i did not knew this boy so I didn't listen to what he said to me. I started to run near a fence and some teenagers followed me. I suddenly stopped. I saw a very huge crowd of little children that were wearing the same yellow hat and t-shirt. I heard: Run Kissalot run! *Sir Kissalot is my nickname in online games so yeah they were shouting at me* I ran. And the dream faded away.

Okay, so I have gotten to the point where I can dedicate a night or two and be able to have good recall. The past few nights however, I have stayed up too late. ( Mostly alpha testing a video game set to launch open beta on 12/12/2012.) Yesterday I recalled a couple dreams, but had to hurry to work and failed to write anything down. D'oh! The next month, my main goal is to increase my awareness during the day while doing more reality checks. Hopefully it will become habit.

[Saturday, September 21st, 2012]
(I dream, and I recall it... but I try to avoid spending too much time recalling and recording dreams when Alex is here. She spent the night with me
last night and while I love her, I'd just rather avoid it all. Recall is gone by the time I'm typing this. Oh well.)

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012][12:30 PM]
I'm in a giant open house filled with clutter. The lights are very dim and there are two main rooms. On one side of the house there's just a
windowed wall that overlooks the sunset scenery of trees. The house is slowly getting darker and there are no lights. Alex had just left me- I'm
alone.

Nothing is wrong, I'm just alone. I sit down and start to just relax on the couch. I slowly drift off to sleep... I wake up a minute later, a noise
springs to my attention. On the dark side of the house, where the shadow's hugged the corner, I heard a noise. I figure it must have been my
imagination. I shrug it off, but feel a strange alien thought in my head. I feel so alone... so... so alone... I just want something to hold on to- or talk
to-

I slowly trudge over to the shadow side of the house... I hear dull clicking noises, reminiscent of Amnesia. In the far right corner of the dark side, I
bend down to pick up a stuffed animal... there was a lot of them, but I choose one that I'm most familiar with. It was a cute patchwork animal-
yellow with purple and green... Alex had gotten it from the claw machine. I pick it up and hug it- and look at it. I could have sworn I saw it move.
I let it drop to my side and I pick up another... I set them back down and watched them come to life. I was amazed- but didn't think anything of it.
I must be seeing things, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's just little movements, like an arm twitching, or an eye blinking.

I bring the patchwork with me into the other rooms and set it on a table. Walking into the other room, I see shadows flicker and move, and things
shift around the room. I'm convinced I'm going crazy. But I'm okay, I accept it. "It won't be forever. And this isn't so bad. It's kind of interesting.
It's like I can control what I see." It reminds me of a lucid dream. My hallucinations started to become more real and vivid. Now I'm hearing
whispers. The patchwork shakes violently in my hand and drops to the floor. It begins crawl around... Oh my... then it stops in its tracks... and...
and it turned its neck to me. It whispered, "Don't be lonely. I'm here for you." I blink a blank stare back at it. (My subconscious didn't know how
to react.) I dismiss it- and forget about it.

With an empty mind, I drag myself across the house, like a ghost haunting eternity. I had no aim or goal, just to exist. Minutes passed and I knew
that I was fully insane, and descending extremely fast. Everything was talking to me now. More stuffed animals were alive, but only ONE at a
time. Next thing I know, I see a human in the room. It's- a waking life friend of mine that I know fairly well, but I don't remember who in specific.
I know it's just in my head, and I'm making him up though, so I'm not exactly freaked out. I'm just so interested in the fact that I have this much
"control" over my reality- I start to talk to the hallucination, "What's up, man?"
"Not much." He replies.

I take my attention off of him and he vanishes, and I begin to search around the house... playing with my hallucination power.
I could stare at something and focus on it, and it would begin to move. I have "control" over this at least. I scan the back wall again, seeing
stuffed animals that I recognized from real life and some that I did not. The house had gotten pretty chilly in the last few minutes. I can feel the
cold wrap around my skin. It's very very quiet. Dead silent. Not a noise in the place, save for my breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I see the
hallucination take a human form again. It's another person who I know. (but don't remember. I wasn't paying extremely-close, conscious attention
yet at this point. He follows me around the house as I start to pick things up and clean the cluttered house. He watches me closely like a hawk. That's when the
dream becomes extremely real. In fact... It ISN'T a dream anymore. There's no way something this real is a dream. It's a full-blown reality. I can't
tell the difference one bit anymore. I'm semi-lucid too... I have control of my body- but without realizing it was a dream.
I look back up at my hallucinated visitor and he smiles at me.

That smile... it's the most horrible evil fucking smile I've ever seen. One that stretches across the face and make me choke back tears of impossible
fear. I'm descending faster into the deepest and darkest corner of my mind. I'm very uncomfortable
"I can't believe how insane I am." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to call Alex- the only person that I want to talk to right now...
even if I was bat crazy, she would talk to me. I call, with my eyes on the hallucination that was smiling so wide, his black eyes were chinked
behind his grin. Straight to voicemail- "We're sorry... the number you-" I hang up.

The hallucination now has a long boning knife in his hand now. He's at my neck before I even have a chance to react-
"Do... you know who... I am?"
"No-" I sob.
"As long as Alex is... gone... I get to... come out and... play."
He casually drags the knife loosely against my neck. He vanishes when he finishes the knife's trail. I'm shaking uncontrollably. But at the same
time stilled by my muscles. Everything is frozen in fear. My open eyes scan the room and notice new stuffed animals that I don't recognize-
countless of them. The sun is almost gone, the light choked by the horizon. I turn around slowly 'til I'm facing a third room behind me. I watch the
opening for a whole minute... waiting... swaying back in forth in silence... then-

I sprint to the third back room... I jump into the room and stop... panting for second. This room closely resembles my old room of my Mum's old
house. The TV is on and static lights up the room with white noise. I slowly make my way to the far end of the room, where I put my phone on the
charger and try to call again- that's when I saw Alex had left her phone on the charger. I won't reach her at all now. My heart sinks so deep into
my chest. "Oh my god... I just want to talk to Alex... I just want to talk to her... please oh god..." I cry hysterically

My head feels very hazy, and I'm having trouble remembering the situation. What had just happened? I remember a stuffed animal... I'm crazy... a
man in my house... I took in a shallow breath- and walked back out of the room.

A body flickers into existence and blocks my path. Nathan appears very suddenly in the doorway, like a scream piercing silence. He has a
wicked grin on his face. He cocks his head to the side, and smiles more, almost saying, "Where were you?" Then he vanishes again. I push my
eyes closed to blink a few times- they were getting dry from holding them open so wide for so long. The house is caked in twilight- but this time
I'm back in my Mom's old home. I emerge from my room into the computer room. To my left is the futon. I walk into the kitchen and hear,
"Unwell" playing by Matchbox Twenty.

"I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a little unwell- I know, right now you can't tell- but soon enough of you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be." I
listen to the words and begin to sob. "This is so real. I can't do this...

The music stops playing and Nathan is there again. He's right behind me, smiling his cold smile. It shocks me again how suddenly he appeared. I
keep my eyes on him and slowly backtracked... then I stop. I'm suddenly filled with HATE for this DEMON. HOW DARE HE USE THE IMAGE
OF MY BEST FRIEND!? Tears slowly well up in my eyes..

...until I scream and lunge for his throat. I use every bit of my strength and force him onto the futon and begin to choke him. I shake and shake
and squeeze as hard as I can. He just smiles. I choke him for a full minute, letting my hate seep out onto his neck, before I realize there is no
effect. I stand back up and take a step back.

Suddenly, the futon vanishes and so does he. It repositions right where the computer used to be- to my immediate left... where we had moved it
the second time, when we lived there. Now, Tyler sits there on the futon with a smile on his face. The lights flicker in the house and then the
power fails. It's pitch black, but I can still see his black eyes. He can change form, but he can't change those beady black eyes.

Alex had gone away and wouldn't be back for three days. Three days of hell... My soul was going to rot here
<I woke up.>

(I cried for 10 minutes upon waking. I called Alex right away.)