side notes

I had an austrailian accent the other night. I was slightly angry with this lady and I was raising my voice; that's when I noticed I was speaking with an accent. I thought, hey, wait a minute... I'm american.... Cool!

And it really was cool, I had convinced myself in the dream that I was austrailian. Unfortunately, I didn't become lucid.

Last night, however, I should've been lucid. I have been telling myself before sleep that if I see Bill Hicks, I will become lucid. I did see him, he was doing some signing thing... It was strange now that I think about it, because he wasn't acting like you would normally expect. It's like he knew where he was... kind of creepy, to be honest. I remembered he looked at me once and he saw my tattoo. He didn't say anything, but he payed particular attention to me. I should've known it was a dream.

I just seem to keep telling my subconscious, no, don't wanna be lucid.

And oh yes... Tomorrow I will have been with DV for a year. =D
Time flies, when you're having fun, right?

This time I was dreaming that I was in a wearhouse and people were walking around and I stopped and thought "I can do anything in this dream, I have special powers." Then all the DCs faced me and clapped and cheered. This caught me off guard.

Then I was in brightly lit room on the floor and I was making up a sign

something like this but with sprinkles too.
This was really un-guy like. While putting on the sprinkles I started to think "what am I doing???" [you're making a poster for the hip 80's band Got Mouth], a female thought told me. I didn't recognize the name of the band but more so I didn't like the silly ridiculousness of this, it was so not me!
Thats when my view panned a bit over to the left side and I saw someone in the space where I was a half second ago and it was the short haired girl, oblivious to me comfortably sitting on this floor folding paper for the sign. There was no way she had just sat there, I came out of her somehow. She looked older than beofre maybe early 30s.
Dream ended.
In an earlier dream, she did say that she was me. I seem to be dreaming through someone else's dreams, this is very interesting. I haven't gotten a name of her yet, working on it.

9-11-11

This dream is a little vague because i think i woke up in a false awakening afterwards cus i turned my alarm on in the middle of the night, but in the morning it was still off. Probably why i only remembered this when i meditated after i woke up for real.

I am sitting on a couch in my house with slightly different furniture. My whole family is there , (mom,dad my sister and 2 dogs) . We seem to have guests tho, there are two humanoid aliens sitting on the couch with us. I don't recall that they said a single word they just sat there with us. I don't quite recall their appearance either, they where definetly human looking but overobviously alien, cus of probably green/blue faces. Perhaps their hair looks more like greyish coral.

I was really excited, i remember thinking and talking with my family saying stuff like "how the hell is this possible" and "how are we going to explain this to the rest of the world that we have 2 aliens in our own house." etc. etc.

Woke up, most likely in a FA (but... was pretty sure it was in real life because of the feel i had when i woke up and how tired i was feeling before i slipped into unconsciousness)

Yesterday i dreamed of a women i haven't seen in a while and i wrote down some weird things in my DJ that i can't recall or make much sense of. Today i dreamed of her again and i was notified that she or someone in immediate surroundings is terribly sick..

Have trouble remembering dreams lately. Seems completely opposite of what happened in the previous days, when I had very vivid dreams. I notice that lately the Affirmation isn't playing when I wake up, so that must be it.

I only recalled, but probably from memory, me watching an LP of Spore, and also Facebook reply from someone I've been dying to hear from.

Computer shut down in the middle of the night, so I wasn't able to hear the MAP Affirmation. I also slept late. Woke up with a very vague memory of Cebu and PATAS comrades.

My face began to hurt today so I decided to take a quick nap.

Slipped into a dream of me at a party with a good number of my college friends. after a while of doing random talking I get to seriously thinking about why my exgirlfriend is showing me around to people... I begin sitting down and am talking to my friend klehlyn. He responds to my concerns with the jarring phrase "well, ya only live once." just then, I get up from the table as another of my friends brakes his hand, I look at him and exclaim, "relax dude, You'll be better in the morning."

I feel the dream begin to fade, This happens to me everytime after a while, so I just deal with it. I brace myself not to move when I wake up. Its black, my eyes are close, I sit there... sure enough...

I'm treated to weird, windows 98 style loading screen, "loading the dream." I wasn't aware of the stupidity of what I was seeing at the time. The screen gets to 78% exactly, I remember that, when suddenly I start to slip away from it. I start to feel as if my head and torso have fallen through my bed. Then my legs, maybe slightly more than my torso. Then... I fall. Fall into a beautiful 1980's style town in the middle of the night. The town is absolutely filled with pumpkins. The design is very tim burtin.

My first thought is "Think Steve, what haven't you done?" I look around and notice a water fountain I decide to sit beside it and take massive gulps. I notice that my vision is blurry, its almost hard to look straight with one eye, its as though I had the world's worst lash in my eye. I attribute it to the fact that I got in a fight 3 days earlier, and I have a broken cheek in real life. This actually was the case to the best of my knowledge, I can't really think of any other reasons. I know you don't really have "eyes" persay, but my brain could have been rationalising through that sensation. The pain made the dream start fading again. I brace again... Black. The method appears to have worked again. In the same way too... I see the same loading screen as before, crappy and old as ever. I'm starting to like it though. This time it completes to 100% and then just fades away. Black. I think what's wrong? maybe my rem cycle is just over, cut down right when I getting the hang of this for the night, I think.... wait, do I see blue? like realllly far of in the distance, I think I floating towards it.

Its gets bigger and bigger until I finally realize what I'm looking at, its very small world, floating in a massive blue nebula, surrounded on both sides by two giant float warrior statues, who's swords were the same impressive blue color as the rest of what I was seeing. I begin falling towards this planet, eventually falling onto a tree... This is when I notice it, the textures, the sounds, tiles and blocks... I realized, I play too much minecraft I was inside minecraft. So I go down the ladder attached the the tree, it takes me a little section that has recently been blown by a creeper, for some reason, instead of dirt and sand, the items on the ground were all very valueable. I start absorbing items for dear life. Then I think a second and realize that given that I'm so used to seeing minecraft characters fly anyways, I should see if I can just fly out of the hole. I've flown in dreams before, thats not special... I was just geeking out... I fly over to see if all the various monsters look the same, the only one that looked different was the creeper, who was for some reason a frightening flesh color. I then see a girl that I know from school, I decided "meh, screw building blocks, I want to make cyborgs!" Luckily, there's no dream ethics committee that I have to report to... so I take her to a deserted castle, with the intent of making a robot out of her... Nothing else, I promise... Everything is still all minecraft graphics, so everything seems like a parody of frankstein and machinema. My brain has lost of redstone wire lying around. I look at her transformation on the lab table and begin to be frightened by what I see. It shocks me awake.

"I see the ceiling, I've lost for right now".... Then I began writing this...

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I remember two dreams from last night. In the first one, I'm inside an old house. There's a man in one of the rooms doing something that the rest of us are trying to stop; conducting some sort of experiment or something like that. I don't remember what he's doing, only what the outcome is. Suddenly there are all of these insects in the walls. They're visible because it's like the sheetrock is transparent and you can see the wires and wall frame. The insects look like a swarm of bees and they're moving through the walls from the exterior to the interior of the house. Suddenly the lights go out and it's pitch black inside. A man's voice tells me, "Don't worry; they're going after him.", meaning the man in the room. Apparently, whatever he is doing is attracting the bugs to him. I feel some of the bugs crawl across me but they don't attack. I sense that to me, they're harmless. But the man in the room, I hear him start to scream. About a minute later, the lights come back on and we run to the room where the man had been. When we get there, all we see is a giant swarm of insects beginning to disperse and die. Within seconds, they're all dead and lying on the floor. I can now get a good look at them and realize they're not bees because their bodies and wings are longer and thinner. A man, perhaps the same one who told me earlier not to worry, calls me over and shows me little vials of blood that they have extracted from each of the insects and tells me that they apparently drained all the blood from the man's body before consuming it.

In my next dream, I'm in a cemetery and there's a funeral going on. I'm sitting with some of my family behind a grave that appears to belong to Leonard Nimoy. Besides his name on the headstone, there are photos of him and flowers and momentos laying around. But it's not his funeral because in the dream, I know I've been to his grave before. The funeral appears to be for William Shatner. His grave is just in front of Nimoy's and there is a similar collection of photos, flowers and momentos around it. I am a bit shocked by this because I didn't even know that William Shatner was ill; I thought he was in good health. Then the thought occurs to me that if he had been sick and lost some weight, he would look more like Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek series and that could be a good thing. Off to the side, one of my relatives is pointing out that Zsa Zsa Gabor's name appears on several of the headstones in the cemetery. Someone speaks up and says, "She married your uncle." Apparently, the names of the parents are on the headstones and that's why her name appears on more than one.

I'm disappointed that I did not pick up on any of the obvious clues that this was a dream. Zsa Zsa Gabor never married anyone in my family and both Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are alive and well in the real world.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm driving through the parking lot of a shopping center, at night. There is a violent physical altercation going on in the parking lot, and it turns into a gunfight.

I'm now riding my bicycle through a nearby residential neighborhood, where there is more violence going on. It's still nighttime. As I ride, I pray that I won't get hit by a stray bullet. I also reflect that I could be driving to my destination, which is my old church, but I like bicycling better than driving. [This is true.] I miss the turn to get to St. Mark's.

I'm no longer riding my bicycle; I'm now standing in a black nothing. [I suspect that I might have DEILDed here, but I'm not positive.] I think of the destination I was just trying to get to, the parish hall at my old church, and cause a knife from the parish hall's silverware drawer to appear in my hand. A second later, the parish hall appears around me.

I walk through the room, appreciating the dream environment, as usual. A lot of people are there, including my parents. My dad comes up to me and offers to give me a hug, and I accept it and hug back. All the people are there for a big reception, with a lot of food laid out on tables.

After the reception, when everyone has left except me, my parents, and two or three other people, there is still a huge platter of thinly-sliced roast beef left over. I try to give it away to those two or three other people.

I wake up in my current bedroom, very pleased to have just had a lucid dream. I remember to grab my phone, which is running Ev's Lucid Dreaming App for Android, and draw a star on the screen with my finger to indicate that I just had a lucid dream. I draw the star, but very sloppily, with one point much bigger and longer than the other points. I'm concerned that the program won't recognize the gesture, but it does. It displays the gesture I just drew with the caption “lucidity!” underneath it, in the same font it always uses for those captions.

When I woke up for real, I thought to myself, You know, I bet I didn't actually record that lucid dream. The app wouldn't recognize the star if I drew it that poorly, and the caption always just says "lucid dream." I checked my actual phone and, sure enough, no "lucid dream" mark on my graph. That had, indeed, been a false awakening. I felt slightly frustrated, as well as highly amused that the app had shown up in one of my FAs.

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Side notes:

Wow. I'm pretty pleased with this DEILD, if that is indeed what it was, and with my sudden mastery of changing the dream scene. To be fair, though, I did change it to the destination I had been trying to reach in my non-lucid nightmare.

I didn't realize until after I woke up that the part where my dad hugged me was day residue. On the evening before I had this dream, I hadn't bothered to get up and hug my dad when he left the house, and I had regretted it. I thought it was awfully nice of my subconscious to give me a second chance to do that.

3/4-11-2011 .

4 awakenings in the night, very light sleep no real lucidity.

#1. France
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I was back on the farm in france. I was doing labor when I saw a woman on a hill, she looked like she was in distress. I thought she was being attacked by animals or something. I remember being in her house talking about what happened and she basically said there was nothing wrong, she was just doing some work.
Later i was talking to the guy who owns the farm, Jack. I was telling him about the woman and how i thought she was being attacked. I can't speak french that well anymore tho so i had a lot of trouble trying to speak my mind. I was aware of not being here in a long time. I decided not to waste time and just speak english.

#2. Sniping
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The environment was dark and futuristic. Like an Unreal Tournament sniper/camping map. I believe there was a border that defined the area of play. I was hiding on low ground. I followed a guy I know, S. I wanted to shoot him. We where on low-ground and he moved up a metal platform/elevator. It went way high up in the sky and I lost him.
I was still standing on ground-level and i noticed a balcony up high. There was a blue guy that spotted me. He tried to snipe me down but missed a lot. I shot back and after a 20 second shoot-out i killed him. I went up the elevator and moved to the edges of the map.

I was sniping in a very dark spot, on a hill. There was a tower i was hiding behind and I lied in the grass looking for frags. Things got weird tho and I moved back to ground-level or i fell there. I was still lying in the grass but on the ground without cover I was easy to spot. I was scoping on S and his mate who where walking over a playground. I didn't shoot them because I was being nice. I thought i was hiding well, but then S yelled something to the extent of : "How's it hanging! Aren't u gonna shoot me?" . I thought shit, if they can see me everyone can i better find a new hiding place. And i woke up.

#3. Invitation
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The environment was a 5vs5 video game in a forest at first. I was with my 4 teammates standing together looking at pieces of paper that looked like formal invitations! I was holding a red piece of expensive paper and perhaps some ribbon was nailed in the top corner. There was a button you could click and when you did that ur character would change into a minitiature aerial vehicle of sorts. I clicked it and mine was a small spaceship. If i'd move around the spaceship would leave trails of rainbow colours behind. (Everyone had something but i forgot what the others where)
During this, the environment shifted to a large clothes store. Further maneuver made it obvious that it was also a high school. And probably a whole lot more things.
I was moving around the clothes store and i noticed a woman going around her business. I thought i'd suprise her with my new toy and turn into a spaceship in front of her and fly around her. This time I was holding a white invitation and tried to press some of the letters to turn into a spaceship again. But nothing happened. I didn't realize i was using a wrong piece of paper until later on when i went to do some business in the school area. I looked into my pockets and found out that the red invitation was right there.

#4. Blue stardisk
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There was a dream scenario beforehand that involved some competition with a fella and apperantly I won. Or that's what i thought when i was standing outside and looked at the night-sky. I peered into space and my attention was grabbed by a bright blue star. As i was looking at this the star slowly transformed into a disk. It got much bigger in size , getting much lengthier and a little broader. (The longer side was vertical and it only grew a little horizontally) While i was watching this I heared a loud ringing noise and my brain got pressured immensely. (most likely my forehead, tho i don't remember) It got so intense that i woke up from that eventually.


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K, some personal thoughts on dream #3 and #4. It's interesting to note that i was looking up and hearing stories about aliens and ancient humanoids coming from the Sirius system just before i went to sleep that night. I was so inspired and awe-struck that i had in mind i was going to attempt to make contact with Sirius if i happen to be lucid. In reality i am also bored with this planet and i'd rather live in interstellar space. Not this crappy isolated earth. So i wished for some more aliens to come into my life and see how life treats them and learn learn learn.

Anyway, i am inclined to interpret the dream as a calling heared and a clear message. Dream #3 had the symbolism of an Invitation that is associated with a spaceship.
Maybe my calls have been heared and I am hereby given an invitation to initiate me into their galactic civilization. I guess if this is true it should be evident in dreams later on because i'd gladly accept their invitation.

About dream #4 it is a little harder to interpret. But since i thought about Sirius before bed it could have been the Sirius star giving me a sign. The symbolism of a disk i don't understand. It was definetly a disk, not a sphere. But it could go both ways i guess. To make a comparison it looks a lot like our galaxy if you'd view it from the side.
A disk shape looks a lot like the UFOs depicted in hollywood. It could be the dream "telling me" that UFOs sighted come from Sirius. Or that the invitation i got earlier was coming from Sirius. Or it could be something else entirely, perhaps something more cosmic. Or nothing at all. I've found atleast ONE dreamer who also had a dream about a dark blue disk in the sky.

Okay, last night's dream was really strange and seemed to go on for a long time:

I'm at a large airport that doesn't resemble any I know in real life. I'm outside and planes are being moved around and parked on the tarmac. Most of them are models I am familiar with: MD-80's, 737's, etc. But one of them is like nothing I've ever seen before.

It's huge and triangular, wide in the back with what look like delta wings like on the space shuttle, except that these don't look wide enough to give the aircraft the necessary lift it would need to fly. It almost looks like there are two fuselages, sitting one on top of the other, and held together in some kind of yellow tubular framework. The body of the plane ends abruptly at the front with a completely flat nose, not curved like most airplanes are. I can't help but stare at it and wonder what kind of drag that flat nose would cause on the aircraft itself. It's almost like it's the rear section of what would eventually be a double decker aircraft of gigantic proportions.

Next, I find myself inside the airport. I am walking and talking with a woman who is wearing a one piece flight suit with military type markings and insignia. She is excited because she has just been chosen for her first assignment where she will parachute out of an airplane. We are walking outside because she wants to find the airplane she will be parachuting out of. We get outside and I see only three aircraft that look intact enough to fly. I tell her, "It's either this one", (pointing to one airplane), "that one over there", (pointing to another one), "or.....(pointing to the strange looking airplane), "it could be that weird airplane back there." We're not sure which airplane it will be, so while we're waiting, we decide to take a closer look at the strange aircraft. Looking at the flat nose section, I remark to her how much it looks like a pig's snout. We walk along the side of it and I tell her that it looks like it has an upper and lower deck, both with seats and point out what at first look like seats out in the open, not enclosed or protected by any walls or bulkheads. The seats are very small; at first I think they may be seats for babies to sit in. But that doesn't make sense because babies would not survive sitting outside an airplane when it is flying; they'd freeze to death. But then I notice the name "Gerber" printed on several of them and realize that they must be for baby bottles. "That makes sense," I say, "because they could store the baby bottles out here and they would be refrigerated by the airflow and high altitude. But how would the flight attendants be able to reach them in flight? They'd have to be wearing some kind of pressurized flight suit." Nothing about the design of the aircraft seems to make sense.
At that point, a man I know in real life, T.P., walks up and tells us the our airplane is arriving and fixing to touch down. We're watching it's approach and the pilot is requesting instructions for landing. T.P. is telling the pilot to land but he seems to be making jokes, saying things like, "Kiss the runway" and "slap the pavement". The pilot is so confused and/or inexperienced that he overshoots the runway and has to circle around and try again. I look at the woman and ask her, "You're going to jump out of that???" Then I woke up.

All my lucid dreams were product of MILD technique.

I´ve decide to try the WILD technique, and reached the conclusion that it´s fundamental to any lucid dreamer development and progression to find the right technique, or else the dreamer will get frustrated with his own project, and quit.

This is a conclusion that i think you all took it some time ago.

Being able to know yourself is fundamental in the process of lucid dreaming...

It´s impressive the amount of dreamers that don´t take the time to know themselves, and just grab a technique that they think its the right one for them...

A lucid dream is a door to a realm, to your inner realm...and the path to your inner realm should not be be built upon fragile structures, and such structures can only result from lack of self knowledge and a sense of hurry in reaching a lucid state....

I was once like that...always in a hurry to have the next lucid dream.

Right now i´m going through a dry spell stage...

I need to get of that dryspell stage, but i´m not worried, because it can only go away with ease of spirit and a calm mind...the opposite is only going to make the dry spell last....
´
I felt the need to share this with you all, because dry spell stages are something that in my opinion is not discussed often in here.

Anyway all this was just a thought.

Walk the path, open the door and lose yourself in your own eternity.

Red King

[Side Note: Ugh. Still not much going on. I still haven't really gotten used to these new hours. Sleeping less and usually having to use my alarm so I don't sleep all afternoon, so recalling my dreams has been a real bitch, lately. I have a couple of fragments that I'll be updating, including at least one lucid dream that I lost, the day before yesterday. But my recall has basically just took a huge dive, lately. Hopefully, I'll be back into it soon. ]

I experience lucid dreaming a couple times a week, so I thought it was kind of necessary to make this journal. Pretty stoked to be able to put my dreams out there and possibly interpret them a little more clearly.

I already have a couple reoccurring instances in my dreams, one in particular is that when bad things happen, I always try to call for help, and the line is always hijacked by the attacker/hunter/(insert villain here). From here, I immediately recognize that I am dreaming and take control or experiment with what happens next.

I wish I had regular access to the internet, but I cannot afford it at this time. My online dream journal will be used to record my vague note taking and dream writing from my dream notebook.