side notes

I concluded that for my LDs, it is more crucial to wake up (and then go back to sleep) 2-3 hours before the time to get up, than it is to sleep a lot.
I am now going to bed around midnight (instead of the usual 10-11 pm) and I try to get up around 4-5 am and walk around a bit) for at least 15 mins and then go back to sleep until around 6-7 am. At least in this last part of my sleep, I sometimes have an explosion of LDs, even sleeping less hours.
Last night I counted at least 5 LDs in sequence, separated by conscious SP. Not much to tell, tough. My focus level was a bit down. I tried to complete an RPG task, but I entered SP in the moment I got to "wear" my character.
During a moment between dreams I though there was an earthquake, because I could feel the bed shaking violently, but then I concluded it was SP effects. I also felt a presence in the bed with me (I was sleeping alone and my cats were locked outside). I felt it touching me and it was uncomfortable, but it no longer freaks me out (much).

Forth DJ entry. I'm going to try to see if I can post everyday from now on. Its good to get into a habit.

Anyway, I haven't posted in quite a while and because of that I also haven't really ade much progress in my LDing. I guess I just need to try harder.

Some Things that I would like to implement regularly:

- Regular Schedualed Dream Journal + DJ post on DV.
- 3 types of Reality checks
- Meditation
- Vitamin B + Apple Juice (We'll see if this works )

Anyway I've got recall and my insomnia up to par so I'm good with that. Anyway, if anyone has any advice let me know.

That's it for news today!

- Cheers!

August 30 - 31, 2011 - Duck Duck Goose in a Pagoda?

Vividness: 5 / 10
Lucid?: No
# of Dreams: 1 (With 2 Different Segments)

Guide:

[-] Lucid
[-] Non - Lucid
[-] DC talk
[-] Notes

Basically its a dream about my old class from grade 10. Its pretty bizarre considering the fact the dream was totally cluttered with random segments that made little sense what so ever.

Segment 1
Hundreds of students were sitting under a hollow Asian style large Pagoda type of structure. The flooring was light hardwood and we all sat in a square like formation around the structure. Students were sitting on the floor and teachers were standing around in various places. The teachers told us to clap along with whatever clapping pattern they were doing. I was confused. I sat there and at first it seemed like the students refused such a dumb demand but as the clapping got louder (obviously more people joined in eventually), I realised that this wasn't a group clap but instead a giant game of duck duck goose only by pointing instead of touching someone. I sat behind S.D. and she was chosen. She then pointed at H.M. and he seemed to point at me but someone else got up and I became slightly embarrassed.

Segment 2
The next thing I remember was a yellow memo being handed out to our class from my grade 10 teacher. We were in class having a discussion about aliens and some people said they believed they existed so just before we left we were given this memo. On the third paragraph it said "Oh and by the way, if anyone still believes in aliens visit this YouTube video." It was a short video with what I believe to be Jim Carey in it for some reason.

August 31, 2011

Woke up around 3:30 AM thirsty as hell, beside having cottonmouth nothing I recall dream related.

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="royalblue"]Semi-Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]This morning I got two lucid dreams! And I would actually call the WILDs, they were DEILDs but the transitions I did was WILDs.
And they were also the most vivid and real dreams that I have ever had.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]
The alarm wokes me up and I hadn't yet decided what reality check to use, so I ignore that and just start thinking about something.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I thought about a girl, let's call her A. Nothing happens I am just thinking about her.
It becomes a little more vivid, but when I concentrate on it it dissapears.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="red"]I stop thinking about her and I get an impression of seeig a mall. And then I feel that I am still thinking about A without consciously doing it.
Suddenly I see that two other people that I didn't think of is sitting next to her, and then a table and a cofe shop appears! I get surprised.
Everything becomes SO VIVID (The most vivid experience I have experienced!) and I am standing there! I can fell, see, hear and smell everything. If you want to know the feeling, it was like a dizzy image, becomes clear.
It almost felt like reality ! This is a real WILD with a real transition, but from an awakening so I guess it was a DEILD, but my DEILDs are never that cool.
Anyway I am standing in the mall and I am looking at A. I am so excited and I feel my feet touching the ground as I walk.
I then found a mirror and I wave to myself in the mirror, and it matches my movement, so that was pretty cool.
Then I walk into a store and see some weird clothes and I decide to fly just for fun. But then..[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]The next alarm wakes me up. [/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I turn of the alarm and go back to sleep.[/COLOR]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]2470[/ATTACH]

[COLOR="silver"]I noticed one of my awakenings! And I try the visualisation thing again. [/COLOR][COLOR="red"]and now i am standing in a inventory I think it's called.
Anyway this was also really vivid, I see a piano and I try to play "Linkin park - New Dive" intro and for some weird reason I manage to do that! Then I remember the Hogwarts task again and I think about Harry, Ron and Hermione and they appeared in the other room! I shake hands with Ron and Harry, but with Hermione I get to an embarrassing moment. We can't decide if we are going to hug or shake hands, but it ends up with an awkward hug. Then I ask if they know how to get to the Diagonalley and they told me to follow them. We go to a pub, next to the building I were in. And then I see it, the wall!
I see the wall and get excited, maybe to excited...[/COLOR] [COLOR="silver"]Because I woke up..[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]Tomorrow I am going to stabilize the dream as much as I can![/COLOR]

Attached Thumbnails

 

In this segment of the dream, I've just managed to pry a bat off my shoulderblade. (Note: I have chronic pain in my shoulderblade and last night, for the first time, I tried an Icy Hot patch on the area. It seemed to be making my bed cold and wet whenever I woke up during the night, so I was worried about it.) I've also seen a mini-bat, a sort of cross between a black bat and a dragonfly, slip under the door to try to get to me. Then I feel sharp pains in my left shoulder. (Note: The Icy Hot Patch is on my right.) It feels like something is biting me. When I turn around, I see that there is a snake looking up at me from the floor. She's a pale-orangey kind of colour, the colour of a cake baked with orange zest. (Note: I'd baked madeleines the other day and part of the recipe called for orange zest, and I'd been unsure whether that meant all of the orange peel or just the inner flesh under the peel, so that had worried me.) The snake is looking intently at me as if she's on a mission. I try to shoo her away. I try to run away. She keeps getting to me and rhythmically striking at me - in the same spot. She finally says to me, "Look, I'm trying to help you. I need to give you the scars for the electrolysis." I think about it for a moment, but I don't know what she means. I'm not even planning to get electrolysis done. So I continue to run away. She always catches up with me. When I get out of the house - which looks a lot like my grandmother's house from when I was a kid - I'm finally rid of her. I go around to the back to get into the kitchen, which I do from an upper window. The people in the cast of my film are there, cooking on the stove, and Aunt Janet from the Road to Avonlea series is there baking. Aunt Janet starts to scream bloody murder when she sees me come in. The ceiling corners above me are dirty and covered with strands of cobwebs.

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="royalblue"]Semi-Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I am almost 100 % sure that I will start to have atleast one short lucid dream per day. Because I just discovered that every awakening from the timer, is an oppurunity to DILD, WILD DEILD, MILD you name it.
But the timer method made me have 8 false awakenings this time, and I did a reality check on all of them, but I didn't become lucid. The reason was that the reality check I used didn't worked for me. I did atkins breathe through mouth reality check, but when I did everything appeared normal, no air came out of my mouth. But I am grateful to that it didn't worked, because I discovered that false awakenings is the best oppurtunity to have a lucid dream.
And now I know that the timer method induces it.[/COLOR]

Lucidity: 8/10
Vividness: 9/10
Length: ~5 Min.

I was in my room and I tried to turn on my lamp, it didn't work. I thought "well, that's weird" so I went over to my bedroom ceiling light and tried to turn that on, that didn't work either. I turned the hallway light on and I saw my brother playing games. I went back into my room and finally was able to turn my bedroom light on. Suddenly, the scenery changed around me. I was standing in the middle of a jungle. I thought "it was dark in my brother's room, so why is it so bright outside?" I found out that I was dreaming and I saw my bother and told him "Cameron, guess what. We're dreaming!" He didn't seem very thrilled of the idea, so I just floated off for a little while and saw a cabin, I flew into the cabin and stuff started disappearing. I made stuff disappear by waving my hand across my face and trying to ignore the flaws on the wall and it worked. The cabin looked much better. So, I looked to my left and imagined a hot girl sitting there and she was. She had very nice big tits so we both got on the bed and she started to get to work. I was concentrating very hard so I wouldn't wake up. When I started to feel my physical body in real life, I got prepared to DEILD. When I woke up, I sucked in a bunch of air because my nostrils were clogged, I was like "god, damn it!" and didn't fall asleep for a while.

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="royalblue"]Semi-Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I become aware that I was dreaming this night, but this time I didn't try to become lucid, I just wanted to sleep because I went to bed late. So I didn't wrote down my dream upon awakening. I was lucid for just a brief moment, then I was semi-lucid then it become a normal dream again.[/COLOR]

I was in a warehouse (some kind of storage building).
I saw Mordecai and Rigby.
I was fighting some guy.
He ran out onto the street.

Side Notes
Its like Memento, I can't remember anything. I need to piece together the fragments.

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="royalblue"]Semi-Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]10.pm
looked at my hands until I felt that I am automatically thinking of my suggestion "I see my hands in my dream and when I do I will realise that I am dreaming" then I went to sleep. [/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I walked pass a soccer ground, on a location I have never seen before in my waking life. Then a bird appears and talks to me, it tells me that he wants to race. He points with his wing were the end is, then he sais ready, steady go! and I wasn't prepared at all, so I thought "stupid bird, he can fly but I can't. Then I looked at my hands and[/COLOR] [COLOR="red"]become lucid so I thought "But now I can!".
I flew faster then the bird, it felt like real freedoom and this is the best flying attempt I have ever done, because it was controled and steady, but still as fast as the sound. Ok I am exaggerating a little, but this flying attempt felt like my best.
I ignored that I had won over the bird and started to think, hmm what to do next? My dream was allready kind of stabilised, because I had examined my hands, for a while after I became lucid. Although now I wish I had concentrated more on stabilising, just to see how stable the dream can get. This was a DILD/MILD and surprising enough, very vivid.
I was aware enough to remember that I wanted to do the Hogwarts House Challenge, so I thought "How to get there? This is the first time I am going to succeed teleporting if I do.." I remembered that dreams are built of expectations and associations, so I started to think about an english pub, to get to the Diagonalley. But in that moment I thought more about the Harry Potter movies, so when I opened a door I saw something .. This is going to be hard to explain, but sometimes in dream you see stuff that you think you know, but it's the dream tricking you to believe that you know. This is called a False Rememberance "Stephen Berlin". Anyway I saw something that I thought was a village of the Harry Potter world, but I thought "No this isn't were I wanted to go" On my next teleport attempt, I were in a old house. I walked down from the stairs and down to total darkness, it was a little creepy but on a desk I saw a wand!
I picked it up and shouted Lumos! nothing happend... I thought that I maybe have to imagine it happening at the same time.
So I did and "Lumos!" a white circle of light expanded through the tip of the wand. but also through me and I could see that I was standing in a kitchen, the excitement of this moment made me[/COLOR] [COLOR="royalblue"]lose some of my lucidity, so the dream environment changed. But I was still lucid.

I were out on a yard and saw Harry and Hermione. I asked them "Where can I find the sorting hat?" and they gave me a hat that didn't looked at that hat at all... So I said "No I want the sorting hat!" Then Hermione said "Look again."
And the hat came to life! I put on the hat, and waited. I thought to myself not Slytherin I am not mean"
But then I remembered that there is nothing wrong with Slytherin even though they all are a little cocky.
But the hat didn't say anything, so I put it off and tried to do Flipendo on a rock, and it moved! But in a game animated way.
Then I saw a screwdriver, I think someone wrote about that in the Challenge thread, so I associated that with Wingardium Leviosa and then I made it levitate. Hermione looked impressed at me and our eyes met alone for the first time.
Someday.. haha![/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I woke up and was surprised that my WBTB hadn't woke me up, maybe I had over slept, but when I look at the clock it was now 02.45 am. I started the timer alarm and went back to sleep. I had no dream on the first alarm, but the first alarm was bugged, because I haven't changed anything, but that alarm had no autosnooze so it just kept ringin while I tried to lay still...[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]Then I had a dream about me and my parents was going to watch a Soccer match, and I met a guy I haven't seen for a long time. Then we got V.I.P seats, and saw an epic game.

Then I remember that I was a warrior girl, for some reason. Like Lara Croft look a like and I was on the top of a truck and shooting terrorist in a car machine gun battle. I made building collapse and my mission was to save a kidnapped man in a van.
I opened the car doors, then I hear "Well well, it's you" and I feel a pain in the back of my head and I get knocked out.
But then I wake up and time have elapsed, so the same dream was still continuing and me and another guy, that appearantly have feeling for me because he speaks out his love. It felt weird, but I wondered why he did this now.
Then I hear an explosion and the building collpase and I die... But it wasn't scary because this felt like I was just a character in a movie, even if it was vivid.
[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]Then I woke up 07.00 am[/COLOR]

I decided to experiment with alarm timers last night.
What I basically did was setup my pc so that it would produce a very loud beep at certain times during the night in order to wake me up.
I figured this way I wouldn't have to move (to turn off an alarm for example) and I could make numerous WILD / DEILD attempts during a single night.
This is obviously not a new idea, but I haven't tried anything like if before.
I set the alarms to start after approximately 5 hours of sleep, and then repeat in intervals of 20 minutes for 2 hours.



I wake up thinking the first alarm must have gone off, but I didn't really hear anything.
I'm a bit disorientated but try to remember any dreams.
I recall there being some dream with me driving my car, but no specifics.
Then the alarm goes off. It's quite a bit louder than I thought it would be.
Weird, I must have woken up before it actually went off for the first time.
I then attempt to WILD but fall asleep too quickly.


*BEEP*
That must have been the second alarm. Unfortunately I moved quite a bit, I think a DEILD is out of the question.
I try to recall any dreams but I can't remember anything whatsoever.
I close my eyes and attempt another WILD.
Surprisingly, I immediately get quite strong HH.
Not only do I get pretty vivid images and lighting flashes, but I also hear voices.
This is quite odd, it's never this intense...
Hold on a second...
I open my eyes and to the nose plug RC.
I'm dreaming! This is a FA... of course... how did I not think of that?
I float out of bed towards my pc to see if there's anything on the monitor, but it is turned off.


I wake up again, pretty sure of having heard the last half of the alarm sound.
I wonder if this is another FA and realize that this method will obviously cause quite a few FA's and I can't test for them properly if I'm not supposed to move.
But I moved yet again anyways, so I just plug my nose again. I'm pretty sure that I'm awake.
I attempt another WILD, this time focusing stronger on remaining conscious.
I feel more "clear in the head" than before and feel like I have a good chance of success.
I quickly get vivid blue plasma HI, followed by faint memories of images.
They go on for a short time and I am unsure of what I'm supposed to do, so I just wait it out, hoping to enter a lucid.
A first scene forms of be being on a couch with a few people I do not know.
I am right on the verge of entering a lucid dream, I know it, but the scene vanishes.
But is is quickly followed by another scene.
There's snow... a road... people walking the road towards... some kind of temple?
It looks Japanese... people are wearing kimonos.

It's now or never, I have to act.
I try to jerk my dream body forwards, into the scene...
Gravity! I fall for maybe half a meter and my feet hit the snowy road.
My whole body is buzzing, but these vibrations quickly turn into senses.
I can feel the cold wind on my skin and... ouch!
My feet are SO COLD. I'm standing barefoot in the snow.
It is so cold that it nearly hurts, but for some reason it feels really good.
I try to further stabilize the dream by rubbing my hands, but then I get a better idea.
I grab some snow from the road and rub it over my naked chest and it feels incredibly good.
The coldness even causes me to shiver.

Some DC's are giving me odd looks as they are walking past me towards the temple.
I decide to join them and investigate what's going on in the temple, it's not very far away.
This dream is really stable. I bet it has to do with the constant feeling of coldness, which is triggering many of my senses.
I wish coldness and snow would feel this awesome in waking life... I hate winter in waking life.
I reach the temple, which is more of a gate actually.
Behind it is a meeting of many Japanese people wearing traditional clothing.
There's water in the center, a bit like a swimming pool, but very natural.
Some women are dancing on this water, with particles of light floating out of the water.
It reminds me of a scene from FFX:




I wake up yet again.
I wonder if this is another FA.
Not wanting to move, I attempt to levitate my dream body upwards... which sort of works.
I have some trouble separating my dream body from my real body, but finally I'm floating in my room.
It's different from before, it's like I still feel the attachment to my real body.
I have to think of this dream: Out of body? - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
I try to avoid looking at my real body still in bed, remembering that it freaked me out last time.


I wake up again.
This time I managed not to move, I even still have my eyes closed.
I try not to think, but I end up thinking that I want to meet Yuya.

A new dream scene forms... it's Teraluna!
Amazing! I look around and notice that I'm sort of floating in the air.

"Hyu..."

It's Yuya!

"Hi!"

She points towards the ground.
I look down and realize that I am floating about 2 meters above the ground.
And obviously, at this specific moment, I stop floating.
I fall into a tiny river which is right next to Yuyas place.
I quickly emerge from the water and hold on to the terrace the river is flowing by.
Yuya is right in front of me and bursts out laughing.
I have to laugh myself, this is so typical of me.

I get out of the water.
The shock of falling into the river was actually a good thing, it "woke me up".
I talk with Yuya about numerous things, including the dream I just had where I rubbed snow onto my chest.

"I thought you didn't like snow."
"I certainly don't in waking life."
"You call it mud."
"It usually is, but the snow in the dream was so pure, it was so different."

We're sort of staring at the landscape during our conversation and I casually put my left arm around her waist.
Where does this confidence come from? Usually I'm quite shy around her for some reason.
After we discuss a few more things Yuya presses her back against my chest.

"Hold me!"
"Okay?"
"Hold on to me!"

I put both of my arms around her wondering what's going on.
Within a split second everything turns very dark and my body vibrates.
I can hear the very loud sound of the alarm going off.
I no longer feel, I can't hear anything besides the alarm and I can barely see.
I try to concentrate on the warmth of Yuyas body which is pressed against mine, since it's the only thing I'm still able to feel clearly.
As the alarm sound stops, my senses gradually come back and after a few seconds I can see and feel clearly again.

"Holy shit!"
"Did we just prevent myself from waking up?"
"We did indeed."
"This is amazing... You're amazing! ..."
"Ain't I?"

She says, sticking out her tongue. I have to laugh.

"Let's go!"

Yuya grows water wings and takes off.
I quickly summon my phoenix wings and go after her.
We leave Haven and fly through the tree crowns of Teraluna.
We're flying quite a bit slower than last time, enjoying the mysterious and beautiful landscape of Teraluna...


I wake up again and decide to take some notes.
I look at my mobile to check the time and realize that all 6 alarms have already passed.
I must have missed a few of them.
I go back to sleep and wake up again after a total of 9 hours of sleep.
But I still feel sort of tired. I did have 6 alarms going off during the night, I guess this makes sense.

Anyways, this was an interesting experience, and I'm probably going to try this again soon.
The feeling of preventing yourself from waking up was quite something!

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="royalblue"]Semi-Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]
[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]Everything worked out correctly, but now the awakenings are booring, so I am going to start incorporate some visualisation techniques. In the beggining of the night I will use the Hand affirmation, and on my WBTB I will use the Lucidology techniques.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I were in my friends house, I have never been in that house but in the dream it felt like I had been there many times. Nothing special happend I was just there.

I was going home, but I took the wrong bus and got lost, I had idea where I was and I don't remember what happend next.

I was going to buy a lottery ticket to my friends birthday, but when I bought them I was afraid that he would win. So I kept them.[/COLOR]

As any astute follower of this journal would notice, I haven't quite followed through on my recent resolution to resume dream documentation, however I do like to come back to this journal time to time to document particularly notable dreams (eg the previous post). The following is actually a dream I had a few nights ago and have been toying with the idea of writing down; it was a very haunting, powerful experience that I keep thinking about again and again.

The overarching premise of the dream was that I was dead somehow and in heaven. I want to say that the earliest part of the sequence was me living ordinarily in an area that seemed to be a common room with a bunch of offshoot dwelling rooms adjacent to a hallway that led directly to a hospital where I worked (I'll get into more detail in describing both later on), but I also suspect these may be memories within the dream (I'll clarify this later as well). Anyways, the earliest clear part of this dream took place as I somehow came to be outside the gates of heaven. I was apparently well aware of a conspiracy to keep people out of heaven, and that the primary methodology of this conspiracy was a complex maze system outside heaven's gate with a long line of people that were queued to enter heaven, and it was so constructed so as to keep people trapped, slowly moving nowhere in circles. I was at first able to see a narrative overview of this maze; people in single file line, slowly shuffling forward, many branches and loops ensuring that the people (who seemed completely ignorant of their situation and complacently moved along) were trapped. There were "employees" who seemed to be party to the conspiracy directing the flow of the lines so as to maintain things. As it were, I was just near what I knew to be the actual, true entrance to heaven, which was blocked off and guarded by a line of "employees". As I stood there trying to determine how I was going to get back in, I by chance noticed a bellboy carrying a platter of dirty dishes (I seemed to understand they delivered food to people in line). I watched as he entered an adjacent hallway marked employees only. It was unguarded, so I looked down the hallway; it was tall and wide and reminiscent of the grand hallways at a hotel convention center. The hallway went a long ways back before ending in a group of employee rooms (I assumed one of them must be a kitchen), but I also noticed a hallway branched off to the right some distance down. I looked to my right now towards the entrance to heaven and noticed another hallway opened on the other side of the line of sentries, so I decided I'd try to sneak through that way. I happened to have my messenger bag with me, so I decided I'd pretend to be a writer. I began to walk quickly down the hallway, repeating the phrase, "I'm a writer" constantly in my head as though I thought it would somehow prevent me from being caught. As I turned the corner to the right, I found that the hallway continued for some time before coming to another hallway parallel to the first. I turned another right and headed towards the exit. As I continued down this hallway I came upon a black man in a suit who waved at me in a friendly way and offered to shake my hand. As I shook his hand I only said, "I'm a writer" and then kept walking; as I passed him I could see the look of confusion on his face. I seemed to understand that he wasn't a guard, but that his job was to simply stand there and greet people. I exited the hallway into the hospital area (note this was not the area I'd seen from the other side of heaven's gate previously), which was comprised of square rooms, all hallways, some of which resembled normal hospital hallways and some of which resembled patient rooms with through paths. I knew my way back from here by memory; from the hallway square at the exit of the hallway I turned right into a room square, then left through three more squares and then right to the exit of the hospital area into my living area I'd mentioned previously. As I arrived, I slowly walked further into the room, examining my surroundings. Like the hospital area, the room was familiar to me as though I'd been living there for some time. There was a dining table in the middle of the room along one wall that was cluttered with papers and there was a television suspended on a thick pillar adjacent to the table. It occurred to me later that the layout of the main common room very vaguely resembled the living room at my grandma Isabel's old house in Halstad, and to that theme everything seemed dusty and slightly old as though the furniture, paint on the wall, decorations, and even the television were from the 80's. There were a number of people intently going about there business in the room also. As I examined my surroundings I became increasingly distressed with my disposition. I then lashed out verbally, asking if this was all I had left now in heaven, that I'd spend eternity trapped in this dusty room with some other people from the 1990's (a woman nearby in earshot glanced at me and rolled her eyes as she continued doing something), complaining that there wasn't even much of a proper internet yet. I continued, suddenly realizing that I was due to take the MPJE tomorrow but now couldn't because I was dead, meaning that I'd never been successfully licensed as a pharmacist and thus the last several years of my life spent training to that end was wasted. This angry diatribe was cut short by the realization that I'd left Laura behind and could not be sure when she would arrive or if she'd arrive at all (at least we'd already returned to her hometown, I hoped she'd find happiness again, etc.). In this strong emotional mix of anger and sadness I realized that my situation could not be real, but I could only think of ending the dream quickly instead of allowing it to continue post reality check and instantly managed to wake myself up.

When I fell asleep again I had a short continuation of this dream where I went to a buffet for food (I was aware I was still in heaven). The restaurant had many people but wasn't too crowded. It reminded me of the restaurant at Bill's gambling hall.

As I mentioned at the start of this entry I mentioned how haunting this dream has been the last few days. The reason for that is that afterwards I've been left with the haunting thought that I may have peered into the real heaven (a chilling thought given the "conspiracy", how drab the environment was, and my emotional observations towards the end). I don't genuinely believe this now (the fact that heaven is historically described as more paradise in nature, consideration that this may represent hell rather than heaven, and my ultimate awareness that this was a dream all heavily discount this notion), however I believe it does represent a phenomenon I referred to previously as "dream bleeding", where elements of the dream have remained strong in my consciousness long after the dream has ended.

[COLOR="red"]Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="royalblue"]Semi-Lucid[/COLOR]
[COLOR="blue"]Dream[/COLOR]
[COLOR="silver"]Thoughts[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I think I know why I give up on some awakenings, it's becauase of my sleeping posture I tend to go to sleep on my WBTB in a really weird position and when I wake up I am more aware of the uncomfortable feeling, and then combined with the body testing me I just have to give up. So for the next night I will sleep in a good sleeping posture.
Even if I gave up I still let the alarms go, to make my dreams more vivid.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I was standing in a sportshall and all my friends were doing gymnastics, but when I was going to make a jump they told me "No you are too small for this". I looked surprised at them, but then I saw that the plinth was really high.
Everything was so big. I was stubborn and didn't gave up, so I climbed up and was going to do something gymnastic, but then I fell.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I were in a mall and my friends were buying some clothes. I wanted something too so I picked the first thing I saw but it was really ugly. So my friends prevented me from buying it.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]I woke up and remembered that I should had become lucid, because I fell asleep with a blindfold.
So everytime I can see, it's a dream.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]The dream started in my kitchen and I couldn't see anything and then someone took the blindfold of me (in the dream) and he did some weird magic trick with a pen on my nose, then the dream changed.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I were back in the mall and my friend called on me from a restaurant, he told me that he could buy me a beer, when I drank the beer, everything become unstable.[/COLOR] [COLOR="gray"]and I woke up without an alarm.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="blue"]I was now standing in the sportshall again, but this was more like a gym and no equipment that I needed was free. So I went into a small room for some reason and there was my friend Andriano, then a girl that I don't know in the wakng life, but I appearantly didn't like her in this dream, walked in. We started to talk about some photos on facebook, and then Andriano said "This is like highschool" and I agreed for some srange reason.[/COLOR]

[COLOR="silver"]Then I woke up.[/COLOR]

unfortunately I was up and down all night and could never really get into a good sleep so I can not remember any of my dreams...maybe I'll have better luck tonight.