All DJ Entries

20th October 2021

Some in-line bracketed notes. Was too tired to properly write down initial notes on recall.

Fragment:

Growing female dream character, an NPC of some kind. She's white, her hair is not black but it's dark and tied back. I have to watch over her for a while to make sure I get points correctly for some reason. She is or gets to about three or four times my size. We're in water, or floating in the air?

Before that, there was more going on in the same area, something about a dream thing? (Intrusion from "Dream Academy" related PM by MoonageDaydream, I really regretted not being able to hold on to this part of recall.)

Even earlier, something about Ed Edd 'n Eddy (the cartoon); I'm talking to someone but seeing/watching the cartoon too? I mention that some of my interest in growth themes probably comes from watching cartoons like this. Some appropriately themed scene plays out in the cartoon, involving Edd mostly, I think. (I remember on waking considering how he was often a thematically unwilling victim, even in a case like this that might be "empowering").

Last night I dreamed I was in NBC's "The Office" TV show. It was pretty cool, I saw everyone's desk and most of the employees. I remember everyone was making fun of Jim and Pam, but I'm not sure why. I vividly remember Kevin's face the most.

I remember having a beard. Like a goatee but with the sideburns. Very random.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With a male friend and following a female friend. We lose her when she goes around a corner and a bunch of other people get in the way. Something is going on because people are acting strange. We are at my home village and we decide to go inside a bakery located in its main square. There is some kind of celebration going on inside, supposedly regarding New Year's, but we are past that day. And anyway, they are playing some Xmas songs and the whole thing makes no sense. Still, I join in for fun. The party is also themed like the '40s and the Xmas music is only from that era. I notice my teen crush Tiago sitting there on a table with some other guy and I notice he is trying to ignore me but very much saw me. I look hot and I am dressed in a sexy mini skirt and I decide to taunt him a bit. I keep pretending I didn't see him and start dancing with others. But he also keeps ignoring me, so I get bored. Then I check the cakes on the counter and I am desperate to have a slice of a couple of them. But the bakery owner says they aren't selling slices directly. I have to buy a raffle ticket and I get whatever cake comes up in the ticket, if any. But lots of the cakes have chocolate amd I say I specifically need those without it. The owner keeps refusing and then says she can sell me directly but only the whole cake to take out. I tell her ok, whatever it takes and ask the price of a couple of them. I am expecting it to be pricey, but affordable. I have maybe 20-30€ in my wallet. But she says it's a 100€. I say that's insane and then ask how many cakes is she packing on that box and how much for just one and she keeps saying it is 100 for each. I repeat that's insane. She explains it is only today because of the special event and she is doing this as a special favor to me. I pass. I head to the door and see some guy throwing a hand grenade or homemade bomb towards the window to the right of the door. I yell for people to duck and I run to the opposite side. It blows and breaks the window. Some guy pulls me to a storage room on the back and i hope there is a backdoor to exit. There is, but when I open it, I see the back leads to empty lots and some suspicious pick ups are driving like nuts in the roads between the lots and heading our way. A guy jumps off one the trucks and walks with another grenade in his hand towards us. I try to barricade, but there are only soft materials. So I run to the washroom and try tp escape through the window. But it opens to some kind of enclosed backyard whith the ground two floors below. So I have to do some climbing and holding on to the ledges of windows and go around the walls that make a square around the yard, until I find another open window. That one leads directly to the lobby of a train station remotely similar to the station of Santa Apolónia in Lisbon. There are people visibly in shock running inside for the trains and some weird tall people in blue waterproof coats seem to be trying to control them. They start closing some interior doors to the platforms to stop people from going in. I make a run for it and manage to get inside. Not without one of these blue dressed women grabbing me. They are weird. She doesn't hurt me and she seems unable to restrain me seriously. She is just passively agressively asking me to leave. And I refuse and ask who they are. She says they are just clones that here to help. I notice how she looks like Fernanda. I push her and she calls for backup of a male. They both surround me and try to make me go back but I grab their arms and push them around and notice that they don't react with harmful strenghth, so I decide to push them harder and run for it, which works. They lose interest and try to stop other people. I go to the ticket booth and ask for a ticket out of the city. The lady says there is no need for ticket, they are evacuating all who want to. They themselves seem to be packing to leave. So I go to the platforms and try to look for the right train but the info on the boards is all messed up and impossible to know. So two guys point me to a tunnel and say we gotta follow it because the trains have all left already. So I go with them. But at some point a train comes out of nowhere speeding towards us and we need to jump to the other tracks to escape it. Strange thing is that it's being pulled by a human like a horse pulling a carriage. Then another train is coming from the opposite way on the other track and we have to jump again. Same thing, pulled by a human. It's surreal. Then the guys decide to disappear up a vertical tunnel over our heads, but I try to follow them and can't, it is too tight and with rough edges where I get stuck uncomfortably. I feel claustrophobic and give up. Instead I decide to continue following a larger tunnel that bifurcates from the one with the trains we were in.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am watching a Steven Seagal action movie with Riverstone and it has sex scenes that are basically porn and I feel a bit uncomfortable. The porn turns violent, which makes it worse. When a villain is caught, he is threathened with revenge sodomy and then some lady has a ganga bang on a pool and she is turned upside down on the water and is unable to breathe. The movie is also quite immersive and at some point I am actually in it. I am some business man that is the main target of some terrorists/ gang. They attack me in the lobby of a building and I run for dear life to an elevator and almost get killed by a rain of fire. But I manage to slam myself against the wall on the right side of the doors and just get a few non-lethal shots while the door closes in.
I am not enjoying this dream at all, so I suddenly change scenario. I get out of the elevator as myself and the building outside is some kind of pavillion under preparation or renovation for some event. There are ladders and plastics all over. I spot Jaime sitting on a ladder. I come to him and say "Hi, I know you." He seems puzzled, like he sort of recognizes me, but can't really remember from where and when. I tell him my name and he gives me a big smile. Says that I look a bit different and he wouldn't recognize me if I didn't identify, but of course he remembers me. He says he missed me so much when we went to different schools and lost each other contact. Says he loved me and it was really tough for him. I am happy that he says it and I confess it was mutual. He comes down the ladder and invites me for a walk. There is some market outside the pavillion. We talk about this and that, we are so happy to be together again. Then we stop at some lady selling homemade belgian waffle cookies. They look yummy, but are 1,5€ each and I tell her it is too expensive. I understand anything homemade and artisanal is more expensive, but think that is excessive. But Jaime buys 2 cookies and I guess one is for me.

At home, in Alhandra. I'm in my old childhood bedroom, with my present day cats. There is another cat on the balcony of the room next door and it is peaking through my window, barely stable on its ledge. I recognize it as my neighbor Carla's cat (although she never had one in RL). A chubby turtle cat with a mutation that gave her four ears. I wanna be sure she is safe and wanna show Riverstone the mutation, so I open the window and allow her to come in. She is friendly but not a big fan of being held. So I let her walk around and my 3 cats seem to be ok with her. But soon after Buddha goes nuts and mounts her, despite him being neutered. I think she must have really strong pheromones. Luckily he can't really do anything but he is annoying her a lot. So she finally let's me pick her up and I go to the kitchen with her in my arms to show her to Riverstone. I then decide to take her back to Carla. My father joins in, saying he also has stuff to take to her. I notice he his just wearing a shirt and underwear and I insist he should get some pants, but he refuses. He has a bag with a small vase with a plant and a couple of herb stacks. He comes with me down the building staircases, but then wonders "Shouldn't you put on some shoes instead of coming with your slippers?" and I say she lives just a couple floors below, why would I bother? And he replies "But didn't she move to the single house of her grandmother down the street?" And I remember she indeed moved to her grandma's house. But then I also wonder if he knows that, why would he go on the street with no pants on? Anyway, we reach the second floor and the apartment on the right side of the hallway has the door open and I hear her voice inside. I don't question anymore where she lives. We go inside and she is having a party with friends. I think it's her birthday. She is surprised that I have her cat and then looks a bit uncomfortable with my dad and his gifts. I look at the supposed herb stacks he brought to her and I see only grasses and yellow oxalis with no nutritional or medicinal value and I wonder what's his thinking.

I was in my kitchen and I walk to the patio in the backyard. I see agent Dwight Harris and Adriana La Cerva. I'm not sure why, but agent Harris was going to whack Adriana. She escaped and Harris started shooting behind her but missed, then I was running around the neighborhood. Quite a weird dream.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Before going to sleep I had been thinking about my very first dreams I recall having. One of them was being chased by a bull inside my kindergarten, derived from one traumatic day in which a bull was on the lose in the area and we were warned to stay safe indoors and all the kids ran in panic inside.

So I am dreaming that I am at some big palace building, maybe a museum, maybe a university, not sure, but some kind of event is taking place and lots of people are getting ready for something. For some reason, a huge, almost supernatural bull, is chasing me and gets lost inside this building. I first run upwards some stairs on a corner of the building and on the top floor, I go to another corner of the building (it's main area seems to be quadrangular) to descend through the staircase on this side. But the bull is probably causing damages in some crowded area, because lots of people come running my way and hide in some hall to my left. I see the stairs are also full of people going up and down, apparently not knowing from where the danger comes from and I decide to jump into some shaft that exists in the middle of some smaller staircase, maybe a service staircase. At its bottom, there is a classic statue of a woman, wrapped in ropes to be pulled up. I almost crash into it. I escape to some terrace through a window, which is not at ground level, but is close enough. I spot my dog Hachi on the street jumping nervously, looking around how to get to me. I jump from the terrace to a garden below, but the open space makes me nervous because the bull can come crashing out of one of the doors of the building at any moment and cut my path. I manage to reach the gates and alongside other people, we move to an apparently safe place, by walking on some ledges on the side of some buildings, connected by bridges, over a canal that runs through the middle of them. Most weirdly, is that at the bottom of the canal are lots and lots of coffins. Apparently it is a tradition here not to bury the dead, but to lay their caskets on the canal. I wonder how the hell the water isn't putrid and stinky.

So I’ve been trying to get a lot more serious about LDing for this year. I very much need to experience other worlds right now. And it’s somewhat worked; I’ve had very brief moments of lucidity and even one OBE in the past few days.

Last night was pretty lame though. I only remember one non-lucid dream and that’s it. I was picking up something in a dark garage, and I felt like something bit me. Well, I looked at my hand and found a smallish spider actively biting me. I’m an arachnophobe so I freaked out. I killed it while it was biting me. It left a bloody circular mark on my finger, and for some reason it was purple.

I woke up shortly after that. I checked my finger and whew, no bite lol. It’s still a bit frustrating though; my brain felt so tired yesterday that my dreams were at a pretty low level of awareness. Which is definitely why I wasn’t conscious enough to do a reality check as planned.

2 dreams with Jamie in them. Couldn't remember what either one was about. Guess she's coming back? (to the dreams anyways.)

Driving

I was in my car and in the backseat, It was driving with no steering and going down a hill. I triend to jump in the front seat but it was really hard. I was in the front seat eventually but the car was already going off a cliff... Suddnely I was on the road again with no damage WTF?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Watching a new Matrix movie and Neo finds glitches in the matrix and he his committed or arrested for it. He escapes by fooling some guard. Then bad dudes from a corporation come looking for him and torture the guard, accusing him of helping Neo. Meanwhile Neo finds that there are several Neos in this matrix. He goes to a barber who looks like a younger self and the customer he is shaving, also looks like a young and slightly different Neo. Yet they don't realize they are identical and think he is insane. When he insists that they are all versions of the same person, they become violent and the barber throws knives at him. Then I have an epifany and say to Riverstone, whi is sitting by my side, that we are also in a simulation, being deceived that we are watching a film. I say that I am actually Neo and I do become him in that fight with his clones and I fly away from there. I go look for people I know, but everything seems to be changing randomly and people I know become someone else or have different lives and don't know me anymore. I enter a house of supposed friends and there is a middle aged couple there. Their cat recognizes me, but they don't. Yet they react calmly to my presence and offer me dinner with them and ask me to explain in detail who I am and what I am looking for. I tell them I have partial amnesia and know my name and my work, but don't know anything beyond that or where I live and was certain that some of my friends lived here. They are very understanding but offer no answers to my questions. Then some girl comes at the door claiming to be my sister and that I am dangerously deluded and she needs to take me with her. I escape and get lost in the small town we are in. Then there is either a theme fair from the 30s going on or I also travelled back in time, because it all looks from that era. When I interact with people, they get startled because I dress funny and I say weird things and clearly don't belong there. Once again they think I am insane and try to arrest me. The only way to escape is flying away, but I can't fly high for some reason and keep being pulled down by them. I scream from the top of my lungs and my thunderous voice numbs everybody around for a while. I then run away on foot. Meanwhile, the corporation guys are back in their HQ debating how Neo is destabilizing the simulations, but they think they are outside of it. Until strange things start to happen and they start realize they themselves are not from the real world but simulated matrix controllers as there is a matrix within a matrix within a matrix. As I try to walk discreetly through the town, I hear some familiar music that attracts me to a place where old ladies do arts and crafts and I find my mom there. I approach her to try to see if she knows me. She doesn't, but she invites me in. The place was a cozy llittle studio which becomes claustrophobic as the old ladies surround me with curiosity and some keep bringing in boxes and boxes of stuff that block the entrance and narrow down the space available.

Enjoyed traveling swiftly through a well-lit city that was like a open shopping center seeing how swiftly scene changes could keep up with me. Eventually decide to find a woman. Looked in a shop and it was a gym and their was a coach. She was pretty and comes to me and embraces me. I decide I would prefer a more ample build and start transforming her to my wishes. She jokes that I am inflating her like an inner tube. I am able to keep everything stable all the way through the encounter.
I then want to go to my workplace but the images are actually from my prior workplace. I cruise around as fast as I can and am leaping in great bounds One of my actual co-workers appears as a DC and asks if I could jump a field goal from the 15 yard line. I say I could from the other teams 15 yard line. I see my brain is buying into this being my work place so somehow I get it in my head to try and interact with a woman I think does not like me in real life. I cause her to come walking around a corner and approach her. She is put off and negative, like "what?" I suggest that we should become friends outside of work and get to know each other. She says thinks that is terrible idea and is not interested. Well damn, the DC does not like me either. I decide to try the scene again but control the DC. This time she walks through a door, and I cause her to walk right up to me. I give her a friendly hug. She is absolutely rigid and robotic. I guess my mind is set on her wanting nothing to do with me. I note that it is interesting, then go off to do other things.

I had an interesting experience last night. It was very close to a WILD, I suppose:

I was laying in bed with my eyes closed. I was close to falling asleep, and I think I was experiencing some hypnogogic hallucination. It was one of those situations where I'm in bed with my eyes closed, but it's like I can see what I would expect to see if I was awake. So I see something in front of me, maybe one of my arms/hands as though I were laying partly face down. I know this is a hallucination, so I focus on it. I know that I have a waking hand, but I concentrate on a "dream" hand and moving it into view. Eventually I succeed in this, but I don't remember much about what happened after that.

An interesting excerpt from a dream a couple of nights ago:

...I'm on a beach at some kind of camp. I'm talking to a girl on the opposite side of what seems to be a small boat. She says "what's the difference between night and day?" To which I reply "well, at night I can have lucid dreams".

Didn't become lucid.

The scenery change to a new environment where I was in a crowd rushing to a certain direction for a special announcement. I then realize I had forgotten something and went the opposite direction. As I am brushing against people going the other way from me. I notice the panic in their face , this sense of need to go somewhere without knowing what it is. The pace got faster , more people were running passing me even trampling over other people. I decided I too should hurry to the thing I forgot.

I then made it to the stairs to this room made of metal. As I am going up the stairs I could feel myself now naked. I was embarrass wondering when did this happen? I then tried to think back when I was trying to get here did i have clothes or not. I then remember I did and thought how bizarre that I don't have them on me now. It doesn't make sense to me in till for some reason I didn't care about it anymore.

Lucidity began to hit me and I knew I was dreaming. I enter inside the facility and saw only green lit lanterns in a square room made of solid metal. I look all around and decided I wanted to try meditation for the first time in my dream. I sat down on the floor and made sure to keep my eyes open. I could feel my awareness changing as if it became aware of itself. My dream body while sitting down began to quickly slide backwards and went through the metal.

I then had a false awakening and found myself in my old apartment room. I had gain lucidity again and saw the television come on by itself with words that I no longer recall being displayed. The light got brighter as I attempt to cover my eyes but it was too much and I woke up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In the US. Scenes from a recurring dream where I think I am in Orlando, Florida. A lot of things happen, including being part of the audience of a Jeopardy show recording on a studio. On exit, they want to check everyone's papers and covid status. They ask me for a negative test and I complain that it makes no sense they ask for it at the end instead of before the show. I also remember someone telling me something about it and even handing me a test, but it was not mentioned at entrance and I totally forgot about it. I also was without mask all the time and nobody cared. The lady shrugs her shoulders and says it's ok. She puts a stamp on some paper anyway and offers me a few more tests for future occasions. I find it all very unprofessional and chaotic, but hey, it's Florida, right? Coming out of some escalators and turning around to go to another escalator, I see to my right, Gil and some other girl. They come from a hallway behind a glass door and he sees me and waves at me. I wave back but I keep walking past them, so once he opens the door, he complains "Won't you wait for me and say hi?". So I wait and we say hello properly. He asks what I am doing here and I say I am on a visit. He says he works here at the marine center. Then I also spot my friend Licas entering a cafeteria behind them. I say bye to them and go after her, mostly because I also need a coffee, but then we get together and leave together.
Outside, on the streets, we get on a bus which drops us at an old town, which looks strangely like Lisbon center or downtown Porto, not at all a US city. We need to catch a second bus to our final destination, but my friend is hesitant because she is unsure which one is it and we almost get on the wrong one. Then I spot some people surrounding someone on the sidewalk and I notice it is Billie Eillish. When I am about to hop on another bus, I yell at her "Sorry, I don't mean to nag you like everybody else, but I am a fan from Portugal and wish you happyness and all the best." Turns out it wasnt the right bus either and my friend kicks me out of it again, resulting in an awkward situation in which I am basically jumping in front of Billie and blocking her way. The other fans scramble and she is with just 2 or 3 people of her own posse. She looks with her blasé look, like not amused, but then says "I know a portuguese girl, Lena D., she's a biologist" and I am like "No way! She was my colleague at the university, I know her well! You know she nows lives in the US?" Then I think "Stupid, that's probably how she knows her". But she doesn't react. She says "I am gonna follow you on facebook. A friend of a friend is my friend." And then she finally smiles and we start walking along and talking. I mention her music has been the sounddtrack of my life recently. Then we enter this bar or club with a great view over the old part of town on the hills and I say I am actually seeing the place where I am supposed to go and will probably just walk there. But my friend Licas who was with us, just went up some stairs of another building and disappeared. Billie asks about my friend, says her face is familiar and what's her name. Strangely, my friend is no longer Licas, she turned into that skinny gay boy I met through my friend Diana and I can't remember his name. She finds odd and funny that I can't remember his name and I am struggling with how my friend just changed gender and I can't remember his name.

I was on an army barracks of some sort and I remember being jumpscared. Not much to it, just a little fragment.

Disregarding this dream, I've wanted to come back to LDing after focusing on other stuff, but it's been on my mind a lot. I'm gonna try to log more dreams and meditate just to start off.