All DJ Entries

22:29 1/2 cup cold sleep tea (Mother's Wort + rose hips)

00:00 Friday 2013-11-22

00:30 ?? bedtime.

02:24

1) With DD, we had been fighting, we made up at the concert/graduation, it was a big thing that we were friendly & together again, we were being filmed. I saw my face DO and DD's face, my face wasn't my own, it was a generic young blonde face, with a dark spot under the right eye.

2) Filling out paperwork trying to get the deposit returned on a set of skis, the guys asks about (some kind of) skiing, I answer "that's the kind of skiing where you go off the trails." He says "ah, nah, forget that, I just want to go on the main streets." I say "Yeah, I know, you can go one street to another street, and you can just say, 'Ah, F*ck this, gimme a beer.'" I'm filling out the form, I draw a strange W-like character (sort of like a greek omega) but with 3-4 loops instead of 2.

06:20

F1) Young S1 and S2 are wearing University color shirts and waving flags as the train arrives.

F2) A man hosting a show about lucid dreaming, "Be Who You Want To Be!"

Crappy recall, I think that tea kills REM or something. Or maybe I'm just tired? Can't get back to sleep. AGAIN. SH!T. The night started out good with two dreams at about 2 hours, but then couldn't recall.

09:30 BTB nap

10:48 LD #8 DILD !!!!!!!!!!!!

Long time getting to sleep, did incubation scene injection (not holding hard on to visualization) of TG and JQ, and sometimes the scene started changing, like a new DC entered from off-stage, or I noticed something else in the scene suddenly that I didn't put there myself. Happened several times. Turned from back to left side. LD happened on left side. Told myself "The next thing I see is a dream" several times. Told SC "OK time to get that next LD to move along the November goals!"

3) I'm on my parent's deck it's twilight there's a beautiful view out over the city and the water, I immediately realize I'm dreaming! I get the lucid rush/feeling. I think "All RIGHT! Lucid right at the start!" I feel very aware, and I anticipate a long and awesome LD. But then vision goes black! I still feel lucid. I try prying open my dream eyes with my dream fingers, and I "feel" the dream eyes open but everything is still black. I try to imagine taking off and flying towards the water. Slowly fades to feeling my body in bed and I'm awake. Try to DEILD back in but too awake. Need to prepare strategy for the void (if that's what it was). Start rubbing hands RIGHT AWAY at lucidity!

November goals progress: 3 LDs / goal of 8. Still have a week, let's GO!

No more of that sleep tea, I get crappy recall after drinking it before bed.

I was attempting WILD, but then I just fell asleep. When I gained conscious later, I don't know why but My Reality Checks wasn't working properly so I thought that I was awake. I woke up in the living room where it is now night time and was eating noodles. After that I Remember we were racing with dolphins for the prize of something.
Then I was asleep in the dream. I did Reality Checks in that dream and found that I was indeed dreaming.
I tried to summon my classmate. First time, failed because I wasn't believing hard enough that I could summon.
Second time I was able to summon her. Last time I summoned her, she was wearing a red shirt, This time she was wearing a blue shirt.
My brother said "Hey, can you do one thing for me?"
"Sure, what is it?" I replied
I don't know what he said because he told me to summon a weird person we've never met but somehow I knew who to summon.
I summoned it and found that it was my brother's younger self.
He said "Yep, that's the one."
After that I Got a carpet and summoned some more things (I forgot what it was).
Then I woke up still inside the dream but was not Lucid anymore.
It was still dark like before and I heard my brothers talking, so I went in.
I saw them talking to each other about Lucid Dreaming and how one does it.
I was just walking around for a bit and found myself dreaming again.
We had guests over and we were watching Indiana Jones part 4 with the crystal skull.
The guest was looking through our movie so I guess he wanted to borrow some movies.
Soon after that, I woke up in my bed and it was Morning 7:40 A.M. already.

00:00 Thursday 2013-11-21

00:39 bedtime

05:39

1) J. Tyn's vacation: cliff diving at the fish rock. He had the most wonderful time of his life there. We dove into the beautiful blue water. It was a cove with a tall rock (20 feet or more) in the middle. They spent the whole day diving from that rock again and again. From the water I climb up on to the top of the rock. It's kind of curved in cross section looking down from the top. I was pushed up from behind by the ocean on to the top of the rock. The magical thing about this rock is that the ocean washes over the top of it, there is a little shelf below the top where when the water recedes, food is left on that shelf. All kinds of fish. Boxes of pizza. You don't have to pay for any food, you just eat from what the ocean brings you.

2) I'm a new recruit in the army. Wake up in a room knowing I need to find where breakfast is and present myself for the lineup in time. But I don't remember know where anything is. I wil have to ask my fellow recruits. Get up into bathroom other people are around some men some women. I get a toothbrush and start brushing my teeth. The mixture of the toothpaste with some other thing falls from my toothbrush to the counter and it becomes alive and starts crawling like a snail down the cabinet and over the floor. I'm amazed by this. Other people notice and comment on it.

F1) something about wine.

11:43

F2) Have to meet with F. Jn. so he can go for a walk with a woman, we're going to meet by the tennis courts, S1 and S2 are going to go with me.

F3) On a steep hill, scooting up higher. I'm on an air matress. Beautiful lady to my right, she's getting ready to change/take off her top, I'm scooting higher to get into better position to observe . I see her breasts? They're's talking about some guy they're dating or had dating, one girl says "the couple of times we went out he showed up 15 minutes late."

F4) Young people are performing an advertising jingle inside, singing and dancing.

F5) In a place with people, upset that things aren't going the way I want. There's a huge refridgerator with transparent doors and revolving shelves inside. I see my microwave burrito, cold piece of pizza, and bottle of hot sauce inside. I grab all of these into my hands to go eat them.

F6) I'm laying a trap. My opopnent is like me, and can move at the speed of The Flash. I have a device with a button on it, I'm trying to hide it, I'm lying on the floor, I'm thinking should I hide it behind the door? Should I hide it over there? There's someone coming and I'm going to try to trap him by pushing this button when I see him.

Saw a dream forming? A sequence of images eventually solidifying? I woke up from it.
Oh that cursed 5th hour waking, the bane of my November! I stubbornly refuse to get out of bed or leave for the day without getting back to sleep for at least one more dream session, thus the big gap in times. Took a long time to get back to sleep, got back to bed around 9-9:15. Took a big swig of sleep tea (Mother's Wort and rose hips) around 09:00. Maybe that resulted in so many fragments instead of dreams.... may have felt it kick in to get to sleep.

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

Some stuff at home, something about music and claws.

Dream 2:

I was playing Dodonpachi Daifukkatsu and there was weird boss that was like + in structure with an X of destroyable parts, it had strong attacks and i used hyper but when it reached last form, everything faded with a noise.

Dream 3(fragment):

I was doing some stuff on PC.

Dream 4(fragment):

I was trying to fall asleep...

Dream 1(fragments):

I was searching for something in a forest.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was in some 'virtuality' place with green grid-like theme and glowy walls and stationary lasers, i had to do some mission and fight some drone-like things.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was playing some hack and slash game and was doing combos with a sword and then in chat i was discussing with someone some difficult aerial combos.

Dream 4:

I was playing some RTS and there was snowy map. I've had a base near allied base and had a selection of various units to build, which were very obviously team colored. Massive waves of enemies started appearing but we managed to overpower them with our units, then i've found long way towards their base which was diagonally along the map, close to it we got attacked by a number of enemies and after the battle we only had a few units left in attack force. Then we used some units that were super effective against enemies and attacked their base and won.
Then i switched to warcraft 3 and there was weird custom map. It was cinematic about some japanese village near lake, some villages walking and then panicing seeing enemies in the distance and then talking to samurai in the village, which says that he will defend the village.

Side-note | Lucid

Here are some lucids that I never got around to putting in my journal.

Duke Nukem - my very first lucid, from before I knew such a thing existed
I'm standing on a platform elevator holding a large weapon. I realize that I'm inside Duke Nukem 3D and that I'm dreaming. I try to make the elevator move just by thinking at it, but nothing happens. I figure "oh well" and "let go" of lucidity.


No pants in an ancient temple
I'm in an ancient temple, Indiana Jones style. After going through a long room on some kind of mid-air trolley, I'm walking down a hallway. I stop to look at some carvings on the wall and become lucid for no clear reason. I realize I don't have any pants on, so I try to create some. Looking away and imagining myself wearing some fails. Believing that there are some behind be and turning around fails.

Now I'm in a parking lot near my car. I decide this is perfect, since it's much easier to believe a spare pair of pants is in the back of my van than it is to believe they're laying on the floor of a temple. I try to really BELIEVE I'll find some pants in the van, then go around and open the back. I find it packed full - it seems we're going camping, so we have all the camping supplies, including duffle bags with our clothes. I pull out a duffle bag and start looking through it. I find clothes for everyone in the family except me.


Eaten by a shark
As I'm swimming underwater, surrounded by colorful fish, a shark swims up to me. It's very cartoony, with lots of nice straight teeth in a menacing smile. I know I'm dreaming, so I try to make it go away, but it it doesn't go anywhere. I remember reading a dream challenge about being swallowed and seeing what's in the body; the next thing I know, I'm plunging down the shark's esophagus. It's mostly pink and red with a little green mixed in here and there. I think it's pretty disgusting, and I realize I have no idea what to do next or how to get out.

Now I'm back in the water. I'm impressed by the blueness of it. I find I can't move, and I realize that means I'm starting to lose the dream. I try to focus on the feeling of water on my skin, but I realize I can feel my sheets and pillow. I wake up.

22.11.2013

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Eu não sei dizer se foi apenas um sonho que se desenrolou pra vários lados, ou se realmente foram vários sonhos. Vou catalogar como apenas um grande sonho.
Eu estava num tipo de escola, conversando com pessoas que me pareciam conhecidas.
Logo depois eu estava em um local grande, fechado e escuro. Algo como um templo, com muitas pessoas, que acabei descobrindo depois serem magos. Eu estava em uma escola de magos e ali era um tipo de cerimônia de graduação.
Havia uma garota comigo, uma amiga.
Era mostrado as escalas dos magos, com as diferentes classes, sendo os mais ao topo os maiores.
A minha amiga era chamada a se juntar aos maiores magos, mas diziam que não eram permitidos [cavaleiros/paladinos] ali (percebi que eu não era um mago, e sim um cavaleiro/paladino [um dos dois, não lembro qual]).
A minha amiga ficava triste por se separar de mim, acho que formávamos um time na escola, por isso ela recusava a oferta.

Aqui eu já estava em outro lugar. Parecia a UNIP onde uma vez prestei um vestibular.
Havia uma mulher que gritava muito, como uma sargento.
Eu lembro de pensar nela como uma carrasca.
Eu estava indo pra alguma prova.

Outra parte do sonho.
Eu via meu irmão no facebook com uma foto do tipo 'segurando a câmera em cima, fazendo biquinho'. Horrível!
Ela postava fotos dele no exército. Uma delas era ele de bruços com um rifle.

Agora eu estava descendo uma escadaria, devia ter uns 10 degraus, com a Ju atrás de mim.
Eu via minha ex desmaiada.
Eu a carregava pra levá-la pro hospital
A Ju ficava brava, dizendo que eu não ia carregá-la.
Eu retrucava dizendo que ela estava desmaiada e precisava de ajuda.

I can't really remember the first portion of the dream where I actually attained lucidity, but it was outside of my own home. My recall of what happened improves as I went on. The neighborhood looked dark, nighttime-ish where the sun was just starting to come up.
The first thing I can recall was running into another male dream character who wanted to do something called "dream phasing." He looked to be about my age, but was taller than me with curly hair. I had some idea of what that meant, it meant he wanted to change layers in a dream somehow. (Layers in a dream being like in inception where you are asleep and dreaming within a dream.) I was going to journey to the soccer field outside my old middle school to try and build my dream base. I don't know why I'm still fixated on this project.
It was also at this time that I thought about "dream time" and how long a second is in the real world compared to a second of dream time. I thought about doing an experiment where I would breathe out heavily twice, one second apart. But then I remembered that nobody was watching me in bed. I was telling the other dream character all of this. He didn't seem very bright.
He followed me for some time, and we talked. I can't remember about what, after the whole dream sharing thing. I told him that when we got to the soccer field I would help him dream phase (whatever that really meant, he never did really tell me.) before I started work on my base.
He followed me until we got to the intersection between my street and another in the neighborhood. We stopped walking under the lamppost. He started arguing with me that the correct direction to go for dream phasing was left. I was still going to the school that was to the right. He split up with me.
After another minute of walking, I arrived at the school. Because it was nighttime, the dream was very dark. Dark=Not vivid. I wanted it to be more vivid, so I used a voice command. "Sundial" I think it was. From there, I was able to grab hold of the sun with my outstretched arm and move it to a different position higher in the sky using a sort of telekinesis thing. I can remember there being several moons or other planets in the sky nearby the sun. I looked at them and noticed that the lighting looked wrong on them, the wrong sides of the planets/moons were illuminated. I wanted to fix it, but I decided to focus on the task at hand. I may have also done some other stabilization type things.
The area around my middle school was noticeably different than it was in RL. There was a picnic table and a small playground set up on the eastern side, with a fence preventing me going any further than the westernmost wall of the building. There were about 8 or 10 dream characters in the scene, most of them were adults. I didn't want to tell them that I knew I was dreaming, for that may provoke hostility. (Have you read LD#30?)
One more thing that was different about the school, there was this mcdonalds sort of drive-through built into the eastern side.

Now I must have lost lucidity for part of the dream, because for some reason, I recall these portions of the dream being nonlucid. There was a small swimming pool in the area that I was in, (From what I recall, the swimming pool wasn't there for a vast majority of the dream. I think it just appeared for this scene and disappeared when it was over.) with a couple of dream characters. I think S appeared around this time, but I can't remember.
In fact, there was a family here, and they had a couple of dogs. S was talking with the parents in the family about something stupid. and I don't remember what their kids were doing. But their dogs were the really clingy licking type. They had a whole bunch, three of them, and they were big.
They started licking me and jumping up on me, and caused me to fall into the swimming pool. I actually let myself fall in because I wanted to do this sort of passive-aggressive thing and teach the people that S was talking to to control their dogs.
But then, I was laying on the bottom of the pool, and I noticed that I felt my phone in my pocket.

Then there was this thing about me going to the McDonalds drive-through. Other people were going through driving cars. I just walked along the road as if I were a car. But when I came along, the workers from the (I'm assuming it WAS a McDonalds) rolled out a bunch of tall aluminum shelves with food and garbage on them. Something else happened, something pertaining to food, but I can't remember.
I do remember something to do with this eggplant-type fruit that was supposed to be some strange breed of apple. A worker was saying this was the last one that wasn't either rotten or sold, and they were going to have to hope that they didn't sell any between this time and when the next shipment arrived.
I think the existence of the McDonalds had something to do with the fact that the east side of my school is the cafeteria. So the idea was that the McDonalds served the cafeteria food during the day and fast food to people who used the drive-through at any other time.

But I really start recalling things after these non-lucid fragments. S was still there, and I told him I was going to stabilize the dream. I shouted "clarity" twice and stomped my foot onto the ground. When I did, a wave of clarity shot out from around me. It was very weird the way it spread into the buildings and trees around me. When I did it, I also felt the shock of my leg hitting the ground. That helped to stabilize the dream some.
I looked at an empty patch of grass and started.
Me:"Okay, now create a concrete circle."
Nothing happened.
Me:"Create a concrete circle."
S:"Maybe we should try a different location."
We moved down from the grass into a sand gully type thing. (The sand gully isn't there in RL) I tried my dream control again, but nothing worked.
S:"Maybe we can try drawing your base first."
I walked down into the gully, and when I did, I noticed a marker floating about four feet in the air. It looked like a sharpee and was sort of this color. Maybe a little lighter.
We moved into the woods almost and sat at the bottom end of the sandy gully. I took the marker and started drawing an oval in the sand. The tip of the marker broke off. I woke up.

Original entry dated July 12, 2002:

I was on a campus and it had really big buildings, only they were built in trees. And there were obviously lots of stairs involved. I had a chemistry lab class in one of these buildings, but just outside the door to my classroom was an arcade, and I wanted very badly to buy some nachos because I was hungry, only I was afraid the teacher would return while I was waiting in line and then I'd get in trouble. And then I went home, and for some reason Lucy and Ricky Ricardo were our next door neighbors, and there was a convention going on where they were showing all sorts of different movies, because it was the big debut of some much-anticipated anime, only I missed almost all of them because I was asleep or in class. Then something kept biting me while I was in bed (in my dream) and leaving huge welts and nasty scars, so my aunt and I searched my bedding and found a fuzzy grey worm that she said was a "ragamuffin" and was responsible for my wounds. It was about an inch long and grey with darker grey stripes, and it had a face like a raccoon.

Original journal entry dated July 13, 2002:

I had a dream that kittens were hanging from little cocoons on the wall, staring at me and buzzing.

Kittens were on the wall, all across the wall, like spiders, with sticky feet, in little cocoons, just staring at me. Just STARING. They wouldn't stop.

It made me so nervous, being watched like this. Watched like a bug, and I just KNOW they're planning something, because they're actually devious little spawns of Satan, and that their heads would explode.

I was watching The Walking Dead last day and i thought i would be cool to have a dream about it. Well i had one about zombies. It was a pretty long one. Instead of fighting the zombies i was running away . I beat some of them using baseball bat but i was sliding without correctly hitting head. I argued with some others which way to run. I told them to go the way they came Now i can recall atleast 2 dreams from one night. Still no luck at achieving my first fully lucid dream

Dream of: 12 November 2013 "In The Cemetery"
While walking around Greenlawn cemetery in Portsmouth, I encounter a fellow whom I know and we talk for a few minutes. When a thin woman (probably in her late 20s) with kinky blonde hair walks past us, I start talking with her and quickly perceive that she has an accent. I'm surprised to find someone in Portsmouth with a foreign accent. As we continue talking, I realize how gorgeous she is. After we talk for a while, she says she has to leave, and a small white pickup truck pulls up. I have the feeling that her boyfriend might be driving the truck, but then I'm happy to see that another woman is driving.
The blonde and I both climb into the back of the truck which is so loaded down with stuff, I can barely find a place to sit. She moves in close to me and sits on my lap. The other woman then simply drives around the cemetery as the blonde and I continue talking. I ask her where she's from, but what I really want to know is what language she speaks. It sounds as if she might have a French accent, but I'm unsure. When I ask her if she'll tell me what country she's from, she refuses and says, "No."
I'm unhappy to hear her response and I continue to press her. Thinking I could exchange a few words with her in another language, I tell her that I speak a couple languages. Although she refuses to tell me what language she can speak, she remains pressed so close to me that our faces are almost touching. She seems attracted to me and finally I give her a sensuous little peck on the lips. I'm surprised that she allows me to kiss her like that, and I ask her if she does this with every man she meet. She asks me what I mean and I respond, "Make them fall in love with you."
I could just imagine this beautiful creature seducing one man after another. I explain that its not that I'm actually in love with her, but that she has definitely made me feel attracted to her.
The truck stops for a moment and a brown-haired woman (probably in her early 30s) hops on the back. I immediately recognize her as my Kievian Facebook friend, Kateryna. She stands pleasantly in front of us. Since I know that Kateryna speaks French, I start talking to her in French. Referring to the blonde, I say something like, "Je crois que elle parle français, mais elle ne veut pas parler avec moi."
The blonde - still sitting on my lap - is facing Kateryna with her back toward me. She says a few words to Kateryna in French, but I can't hear clearly what she says. It sounds as if the blonde is able to speak French, but as if French isn't her native language. I have the feeling that she may be from a small country which speaks an obscure language, and I think she might even mention the name of a tiny European country.
Kateryna only stays on the truck a few minutes before leaving. The driver of the truck continues driving several times around the cemetery. It seems curious that the other woman seems to be acting as our chauffeur and driving us around like that. I can't quite figure out why she would be doing that. I continue talking with the blonde until the truck finally stops. I hate to leave her. She says she wants to ask a favor of me. She wants me to do something for her. I really like the woman and I hope to myself that she's not going to say something like, "For a hundred dollars I'll do anything you want."

Dream of: 11 November 2013 "Bloody Dog"
*I'm in a house where I live. The huge back yard is enclosed in a black wrought iron fence. I can hear some dogs which I own in the back yard and I go outside to look at the three or four large dogs, one of which is black. Then I see five small black puppies walking toward the house, I think, "Oh my God", as I wonder if one of my dogs had puppies. That would be a disaster. I definitely don't want any more dogs. Then I see another black dog - wearing a red collar - which doesn't belong to me and I realize that it has brought the puppies into the yard. I think I'm going to have to call the dog pound to come and get this black dog and its puppies.
I see that my dogs have surrounded the intruding dog and I go to it. I find that it is covered in blood. I had thought the dog was black, but now I see that it is a lighter color. The collar also isn't red. I grab the dog by the collar and talk soothingly to it. When I see a tag with a name and a phone number on the collar, I think I'll be able to call the owner right now since I have my cell phone in my pocket. Hopefully the owner will come and fetch the dog and the puppies.
I use a white rag to rub the blood off the dog's face. The dog has a cut on the top of its head. I guess my dogs must have attacked it. Trying to be as nice as I can to the dog, I say, "Come on baby."

Dream of: 09 November 2013 (2) "Dream Of The Dead"
*I've arrived on a bus for a visit at the home of Steve Weinstein (whom I've known since we were in the tenth grade together in 1967). Steve is living in a splendid mansion which apparently originally belonged to Steve's parents. I don't know whether they still live in the home or whether they have died, but I have the feeling that Steve has inherited this place from them.
*Steve, whom I haven't seen in a long time, is probably in his late 30s, and looks in good form. I say something like, "So how's life turned out?"
When he doesn't respond, I continue with something like, "I feel like my life hasn't even started yet."
I reflect that I actually do feel exactly like that. As old as I am, it feels as if my life is just getting started. I'm thinking how I've needed all these years to accumulate all the dreams which I've written. Now I have the material for the books which I still want to write. Its true that I feel as if I really haven't lived, but as if my life is only now getting started.
I want to tell Steve about a dream which I had on the bus on the way here. I think the dream was interesting because it had involved dead people. I begin telling Steve the dream and describing the people whom I met in the dream. I didn't figure out that the people in the dream were dead until the end of the dream and I'm anxious to get to that part as I relate the dream to Steve.
As I'm narrating the dream, I realize that Steve and I have left his house and are now sitting in a car. It almost seems as if we're heading north on highway 23 between Portsmouth and Columbus. The car is a red convertible with the top down. Steve is driving while I'm sitting on the hood of the car with my back against the windshield on the passenger side.
Steve seems to be driving very fast, and as he whizzes along the road - covered with ice and snow - I tell him to be careful. I reflect that I'm not as reckless as I used to be. I don't even like to go outside any more and I usually stay at home, especially on days when ice and snow cover the ground.
We seem to be on a four-lane highway, but cars are coming toward us in all lanes. Steve almost hits some people walking across the road right in front of us, but he misses them. I glance to my left and see that the road is on the side of a cliff which borders an area as big as the Grand Canyon. I gasp, "Oh my God." I can just imagine going over the side of cliff, flying through the air, and crashing at the bottom. Nevertheless, with me still lying on my back on the hood of the car, Steve continues to silently speed down the road as fast as he can. I think I need to slide back into the seat. This is really dangerous. I could just fall off from here.
Finally I realize that we're back in Steve's house and that I'm sitting on the floor of a bedroom. I'm only wearing a pair of white underwear. I recall that I took off my clothes as soon as I entered the house. A door is open and I can see into the adjoining room where a fellow (perhaps 30 years old) is lying on the top bunk of a bunk bed right next to the door. He's awake and Steve says something to him. Apparently the fellow lives here with Steve. I'm a little embarrassed because I have an erection which is perceptible under my underwear. I hope I don't have to stand up. I wish I were holding a book which I could hold in front of me if I do have to stand up.
The other fellow stands up out of the bed. Apparently he wants to shake my hand, but I remain seated. I don't really want to stand up. Since I know that Steve is gay, I think I might make a joke and say, "Forgive the boner. I got it when I saw Steve, but I decide it would be better not to say that. I know that I have no attraction for Steve and that I've simply had an erection ever since I entered the house.
Steve has walked out of the room. I figure that he also will only be wearing underwear when he returns. I anticipate that his body will be muscular and built-up. My body is in good shape, but I know it won't look nearly as good as Steve's. I feel a bit self-conscious when I glance at my stomach and notice a bit of flab.

I woke up in my room and immediately did a Reality Check. I was dreaming.
I thought that I wasn't fully in Sleep Paralysis so I just waited a moment so i can be sure that I was in full paralysis.
Next thing I know, I'm fully awake in my bed.

Details: I've been going through a lot lately. Firstly I was kicked out of my apartment by a jealous roommate, am dating someone but not sure of where it will lead me. Now getting ready to get into college and making strides to improve my life; as well as finding a new place with a friend (That I like, and mutually likes me in return). So lots of upheaval.

The dream: Starts with me studying at the public library I typically hang out at after class. Then an ex lover walks in I had not seen him for years. At first he does not recognise me. I notice him but stay silent and focused on my work, though I do not hide my presence. However he double takes me and walks up to my table. He kisses me on the forehead, remarking that I have changed so much since the last time he had seen me. We talk, he mentions that he is married and with kids ( I knew this in my waking life). Then tells me how happy it has made him,despite hating his wife. He then asks me if I had children yet. I tell him that I never want them (truth in life). He seems soloem telling me that he always wanted a kid with me, but things between he and I were too messed up; then it was a shame, since he thought that finally I was good enough for him.

The dream shifted to me hiking, I had a hard time getting up a steep hill and asked a friend for a hand up. He refused. And my ex rode past me on his bike. I got angry, and grew wings and just flew up the hill instead. After I bought a ton of Sailor Moon toys for myself at a store and skipped away to my home.