All DJ Entries

May 11 - May 12, 2016: I am on the street, desirous of entering a house. For some reason the ground floor entrance cannot be utilized and a ladder has been erected to a second story window. I have no memory of ascending the ladder. I am inside with a group of five or six colleagues. We are trying to schedule a plaintiff EBT. We have significant concerns regarding bad weather. A heavy snow has been forecast for the next day when the EBT has been scheduled to take place, and this had led to the discussion at hand regarding scheduling.

A young, thin, dark-haired female colleague says she is going to be wearing her pair of tight black ski pants if the weather is bad. I do my best Groucho Marx impression and Groucho Marx walk saying "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." This comes off very awkwardly. When I do my Groucho Marx stride in the tight quarters of the conference room I bumped into her face-to-face and accidentally get an elbow full of her right breast which is very soft. Under the circumstances it is a particularly awkward moment.

Our concern about a heavy snowfall for the next day is odd because I am able to look out a window where a large tree sports beautiful fall colored leaves. I can readily appreciate the subtle red, gold, and brown hues of the leaves on this nearby tree and the more distant vista of a forest in full fall color which is also easily appreciated from inside the room.

The scene shifts. I am outside in my car. In front of me is a four-way intersection. There is a huge pothole that takes up approximately 85% of the intersection. I want to pass the pothole to the right but would need to maneuver my car well into the intersection coming in on my right. A car and driver waiting in the intersection to my right has pulled up too far into the intersection to allow me to do this. His car blocks my desired path and precludes me from going around the pothole. I am greatly annoyed by this and think to myself that he is an idiot. I am going to have to drive up onto the curb and sidewalk to get around this pothole. I wake. The time is 4:09 AM.

Quo vadis? is Latin for "Where are you going?" I don't think the Romans used question marks though. The phrase is associated with a biblical scene, when Peter sees Jesus after his resurrection and asks where he is going. Jesus replies that he is going to Rome to be crucified again.

---

I find myself in a grocery store. This is a common scene for me in both waking and dreaming. So far, I have procured all my items and now I approach the checkout lanes. I see that they are all long. That fact makes me a bit discouraged, but also I have patience. There is no other option but to wait, so I am content to wait.

As I wait, I glance around. By chance, I spot someone I recognize from waking. She is in the produce section, examining some fruit. Let's call her Siren, which is not far from her real name. She has been in just a few of my dreams, but in my recollection, all lucid. The incredulity of seeing her here makes me lucid once again. I stare at her. She is darkly tanned with long dark hair. She wears a black cocktail dress that perfectly complements her form. At this distance I don't see her face but, having recognized her, I bring my memory of her waking visage to mind. She has a beautiful face with striking hazel eyes and a warm smile.

Time passes. The checkout lane shuffles forward a bit. I remain in revery, staring at Siren as she chooses her oranges and onions and whatever. I am entranced. I am "lucid" but not lucid. In other words, I am self-aware but not clear-thinking. This is a common theme of my dreams recently. Perhaps it is a theme of my waking state too.

A thought enters my mind: What are you doing? It is a reminder that I have been trying to entrain in myself. It reminds me that I should be doing rather than merely being or observing. In this moment, I don't actually act but the thought does alter the dreamscene.

On cue, Siren turns and spots me. She smiles and I see her face, just as I remember it. Her hazel irises are piercing in the middle of the whites of her eyes, which contrast so strikingly with her tan skin. Similarly, her smile is pearlescent and radiant. It is hypontizingly attractive, and all the more so because she is looking and smiling at me. She begins to walk toward me, with her basket held just-so at her hip.

"Where are you going?" she asks me. She is Turkish and has an endearing accent to her English.

I look to my right, at the line of people waiting for the checkout counter. It hasn't moved. "No-where," I answer to her question.

She tilts her head, as if pondering the deeper meaning of my response. After a beat, her smile broadens. "Come with me," she offers.

Now, I tilt my head and ponder the deeper meaning of her words. Or, more accurately, the possible sexual meaning. I am suddenly filled with lust. The scene of the grocery store fades away. Her dress fades away too. I am now staring at her naked body, tan and lithe. I entertain visions of touching her, and, though I don't yet act them out in the dreamscene, the visions are nonetheless made manifest in the dream on some level, in a way that can only happen in dreams.

I catch myself in this fantasy. Once again, I think: What are you doing? And to that, I add her words: Where are you going?

I pull my attention away from her body and back to her face. She is still smiling, innocently. I'm only dreaming. What does that mean?

I was a transgender man named Eden. Eden was tall and lanky guy who was pale and had bad acne scars. For some reason Eden had breathing problems and he was always tired. Eden was always sweaty and his hair always was moist with sweat. Eden was about 5'8ft he had blue eyes and brown hair that was styled in a crew cut. He mostly wore super baggy clothes. I think it more had to do with him being so thin. His favorite shirt was a light tan plant T-shirt. Black dull worn pants with a pare of light brown work leather boots. He had a long oval face with a sharp nose and big knitted brows. Planted just blow his Caterpillar eyebrows were a pair of brown triangle glasses. Eden lived some where in Alaska in a small dark brown log cabin with his mother and father. Oldy his mother and father looked an awful alout alike. His mother was a small woman who was about 5'4ft and his father was 5'8 like Eden. I say his parents looked alike because they both had gray curly hair and round faces both had blue eyes. It was like she was Tweedledee and he was Tweedledum. The only difference was Eden father had a mustache. It all started when Eden Dawned his dark blue coat to go outside. He stepped out into the cold weather and stared off into the distance at his front porch. The porch was made of wood as was the entire log cabin. Even the deck and fencing around the porch was wood. As soon as Eden stepped outside he felt ill and leaned against the house. Even though it was chilly Eden felt hot and his vision blurred. He started breathing hard trying to catch his breath. But ended up fogging up his glasses in the process. His father came around from the back of the house. He immediately rushed to Eden's side dropping the fire wood. Once he saw his son bent over clutching his side. "Eden son whats wrong?" asked his father. Eden could hardly breath he was in such unbearable pain. Edens father reached over and felt his sons head. "Eden your running a fever lets get you inside!" Edens father called down his mother. "Honey can you go fetch a bucket of water and a wash cloth?" Edens mom shook her head yes and left. Edens father reached into a cabinet in the kitchen and grabbed the thermometer. The kitchen was connected to the living room. All the cabinets and tables were made of mahogany wood. The kitchen was left dimly lit by the stove light. The floor was a brown tile. The rug in the living room was dirty white. Which was once clean but now browned with age. In the living room was one big black leather sofa. With a brown blanket folded and neatly layed on it. Edens father had him lay on the sofa. Edens mother came into the living room with the bucket and wash cloth in hand." I called the doctor Hun she'll be here soon." She looked at Eden told him to rest up. Before she could leave Eden called his mother back."Wait mom could it be you know my period. You know because i haven't got it it could have just arrived late. That's why im hurting so much." She looked at Eden then told him to go check. Eden got up and made his way to the bathroom in the hall way. He pulled down his trousers and purple boxers. Eden was relieved and sighted in content. He made his way out of the bathroom. Eden went back to the living room and laid down on the couch. He woke up in even more pain and when he got up his pants and couch had blood on them. "What the heck i didn't know you could bleed this much from a period?" Eden felt light headed and thirsty so he went to his room to change. Then he came out to see the doctor and everyone looking concerned at the amount of blood on the couch. "Eden your mother told me about your terrible cramps and heavy bleeding and late period. Could i see your under wear you changed out of?" Eden pointed to his room and his mother retrieved the purple boxers. Which had brown discharge. Eden the doctor inquired Have you had unprotected sex? Uhh yeah Why but im on testosterone doesn't that keep me from getting pregnant? "Eden his mother said tears welled up in her eyes your having a miscarriage."

I feel that there really isn't much to be said about this one. Any thoughts to be had come quickly, and any semblance of images fade. But there is one image, one picture that is stuck in my memory; it will remain there, I think. I see the outside of my house, but it is slightly different. It contains more greenery, almost like it is a garden. There is a group of people standing outside, and I feel that they are friends. However, when i travel outside, they have disappeared, and what remains now gives me a feeling of unease. It is a group of people who I perceive wish to do harm to me and my friends. That is all I can remember about it. I know for a fact there was much more to this dream, and I hate that I can't remember all of it.

I have to say that I have not really been enjoying these dreams I have been remembering lately as much as I had hoped. There is nothing really striking or beautiful or meaningful about them. They just seem random, and they disturb me when I am in the midst of them. Even still, I wish I could remember them better. But I suppose I am grateful I have been remembering anything lately. For a while it seemed like I never could remember my dreams. No matter, I am hopeful for tonight. I desire a journey, a meaningful experience, a thought provoking encounter, a love.

I find myself standing standing in a yard area resembling my childhood home. I realize I am in a dreamscape, and take in the surreal environenment and the slight glow to all it's contents. There is a dim blue pervading the entire scene, providing that extra "LD" quality to the whole thing. In front of me stands a tree in the shape of an upside-down bowling ball. To my right is a two story structure with a small squar table set in front. To the left is a very dark body of water with a row of dark shrubbery behind. I feel that going to the left may destabilize the dream, and I decide that I want it to last a long time. I turn to the right and head toward the square table, aware that there is a set of white balls on them resembling pool balls. I am aware that they serve some sort of function, and am interested to go over and find out what they are for. As soon as I start to head over, the dream abruptly ends and I wake up.

I had a non-lucid. I was in one of my grandparents cellar that was behind there house when I was a child. I was walking up the stairs & when I got to the top I was surrounded by water. This big ship pulled up & kept circling the cellar. I would give them stuff in crates from the cellar each time it would pass. It was so odd.

I've been sick from allergies & got food poisoning from eating at a Thai restaurant so I'm lucky I got any kind of dream at all!

17/5/16
Dream 1: There was some major drama involving football players. My dad went to a café for lunch from work to get a newspaper to read all about it. There were some players from my team involved, me and my dad walked outside. We walked past a bunch of grandparents talking about twins.

Fragment: I was outside in a large open area.

I start off by watching Star Wars and I'm watching the Sebulba scenes. The first one is where is at Mos Espa but the things he do there are different. It is daytime as it always seems to be and there are stalls of food and merchandise around. Sebulba is among the people and aliens as Anakin shows with Jar Jar Binks. Sebulba has had a run in with Jar jar before and is already perked up at him.Hopping up on the table on all fours he glares at them as they pass on. Anakin glances over at the Dug who snorts at his eye contact and jumps down in front of Anakin. Anakin Smirks at the ugly Dug as he approaches him and Jar jar. He says something threatening to the boy and Jar jar then turns back to his buddies and sits at a stands, watching Anakin. Anakin just shakes his head and walks pass the Dug and his henchmen. Sebulba looks different then his normal appearance, he is slightly furry and has a werewolf like appearance.

After that encounter the dream shifted to a different scene. I'm now in a car with my mom and we are driving to somewhere. As were are driving I see something out in a field of grass with forest in the background. There was a tall, burly gorilla like creature walking around there and he looked to stand at least 8 feet tall. He had dark grey hair, shiny black skin, sharp claws and a snout. I stared in amazement at it and realized that it was a Bigfoot and was out in the opening. As I continued to look I realized that a person was down there with it seemed to be hiding behind it but was way too close to it. My mom turned around from something and by this time the Bigfoot has made it's way on to the road, blocking our path pass him. He walked towards us but at an angle that made it seemed like he had no interest in us. Then realized that it was some kind of filming shot and that the Bigfoot was not real.But how can a person be that big? And still be able to move around freely and fluently? There is no way in hell that it was a person inside that thing. It got closer to us and my mom was amazed at how large it was and said "whoa!" and in response to that he backs it up, somehow throwing me out of the car in the process. "Shit!" I ran on foot as it caught sight of me and started after me. I ducked under small bridges and down alley ways, trying to lose him but it didn't work.

So I went into a building and was now in a room that looked like the room I had over at the Lakeshore Apartments. It was darker inside, no light was on and I was on a bed. I seen the Bigfoot come in through a window and he grabbed at something on the table. It was a glass object and he cracked it open and drunk what ever it was inside. It was red in color and realized that it was blood. He found another one, cracked it open and drank its contents as well. I realized that I was trapped in the room and the monster began walking towards me, swiping at me but then suddenly from outside I hear a bang. There was another window, not the one he crawled through but another one that was across the room from me. I see Robo Cop on the other side and he was walking towards us. The big foot leap outside through the window at Robo Cop who threw him into something, breaking it. "Cut Cut!" The director said. Robo Cop looks up at the director as he came down and saw what was going on. Robo Cop and big foot was real but now somehow Robo has stumbled on to an unknown set and messed up the equipment. There was a mech there as well and big foot stood back up and tried to kick it, but it dodged and countered, kicking the big foot and causing it to run off. "You idiot!" The Director yelled as he ran after it, trying to get it on camera. Robo cop looks over at me again and starts heading over to me, but before he can get to me I woke up.

Preface:
I am sick- full blown cold and lots of meds. Home from work today, but I am working online and its crazy busy.

Side Notes:
In posting these dreams I have noticed there are dreams with lots of green grass, children, also sunny days.

DR1
I am in very modern home. Everything is grey and black. I am in bed, and there is a huge window to my left. (The room reminds me of being in Vegas). I am lying beside someone, apparently, a boyfriend (? Nobody I know IRL). I can feel that we are not married but that the relationship is getting serious. He gets up while I am sleeping (dreamy/sleep state). I rise and start to dress. I grab my phone and I see that the text message I sent him the night before- its all jumbled and it looks like I wrote it while drunk. Its supposed to be some kind of silly sexy message from a song- so I become embarrassed.

DR 1A
Dream changes and I am at my mom's house. I am telling her about the text and how I'm so embarrassed. I am also worried, because I don't want my boyfriend (?) to think I am not serious about our relationship. We end up talking and walking to an area where there are lots of stores- a sort of shopping plaza with restaurants. There is a kosher place, and a place to get ice cream.

We walk into a restaurant (?), we sit down and she leaves. A friend (?nobody I know IRL) of mine is there and we start to talk. She starts to say its my birthday and I tell her I don't really want to do the group thing. I see another friend(?) and tell her that all i really want is a piece of cake, so we walk out together. Outside, there is green grass, and children kind of playing everywhere. One of the children has a remote controlled toy, kind of like a fairy helicopter, that picks up and drops a deck of cards one by one. Its a very sunny day and I am happy. I am amazed by the toy and I wake up.

Preface:
Oh yeah, saw The Cure live in concert last night!!! Super excited! I did a few RCs while at the concert, because I felt like I was in a dream. It seems to have helped as I was able to recall a lot of details. I did get caught in the rain though, so the sickness I was fighting has finally caught up to me. Sore throat, itchy throat, headache, stuffy nose.

DR 1
My best friend and I are walking; we've just come from eating soup at a restaurant in Chinatown. The weather is warm and we are both wearing shorts. She has on a white cotton blouse. We are talking about life and our next career move, etc..when we see a yellow banner from one of the restaurants has blown down. It has red letters, but I can't make out what it says. I just know its a restaurant banner. It blows across the street and becomes entangled in a black gate. I go across the street to untangle it. I take my time getting the banner strings loose, and it untangles. But then, as I am holding it, it turns into two white figurines. They look like little white figures of a king and queen, with no faces, about 12 inches tall. There is a man walking by, kind of scruffy looking, and he starts to kind of bother me, hitting on me and such..I ignore him and I walk around the corner (to my right) to a place where there are bushes, and a small garden. There is a small plot- someone has dug a small square plot for the figurines. Feeling like they want me to bury them, I place them in the plot and I cover them with leaves. I stand in silence and there is a soft breeze. I can hear the spirits on the wind agreeing that I have done what they have asked me to do.

DR 2
I am on vacation with friends, some of them are from work. We are on the coast, and the water is blue- very blue and clear. There is a long wooden board, about 6 inches wide from land to a yacht. My friends tell me to walk it, that I'll have no problem, so I start. I begin to walk it like I am on a balance beam. I'm being careful, and when I come halfway to the boat from land, I sort of lose my balance. Instead of falling into the water, I revert to gymnastics training and fall, with one leg on either side of the board, and catch myself with my hands. I softly place my behind on the board and let my feet dangle in the water. (whew!) I then notice one of my friends (? nobody i know IRL, a blonde girl) jump from the yacht and begin to moonwalk over the water. She starts saying its so easy, and my friends start to follow her, doing their own versions of the running man or "cutting" across the water. I am laughing and I think it so cool. I get up to try and the dream changes. The water is so beautiful, clue and clear. (I realize now that all of this really should have woken me up into lucidity.)

DR 3
I am back on land with my friends and we are still vacationing. We are sunbathing on land in front of a huge sand pit, The inside appears to have been lined with millions of very colorful lego blocks. Its like, a pit for dirt bike riding or something. I find this very interesting because I have never seen anything like it before. I look around and there are different sand pits around but before I can look at them in detail.. a toddler girl comes running up to me and puts her face right in front of me, tells me my name and cries "tell us about ellomenopy!!!"
I'm like, "what is that?!" There are toddlers all around, and in front of me, a few feet away, is a professional filmmaker. They scream the word at me again...In surprise, I ask the kids to use the word in a sentence. In response, they sing the alphabet, and I laugh, be cause they have combined the letters L M N O P and created a word..I make up some meaning of the word that is very very silly and go on to explain it, and the camera crew laughs. They finish the scene and the babies go off to play.
My friends and I continue about this play land, and we want to get something to eat. I wake up.

Preface:
Super busy work week. Everybody and their mother wanted some kind of deliverable this week, so I did my best to oblige.
Sneezing a lot and I have been fighting a cold for the past three days. Cold meds all day but I can feel it coming.


DR 1
I was driving a truck for work trip....
I'm in the car with a cute guy, someone I don't know or recognize. (His personality reminds me vaguely of someone I work with now- the cockiness, only.) We were not dating but we worked together at a different company, and he was flirting a lot.We had a third passenger, an older guy, who was just laughing at us. We were driving down a long highway, there were cornfields on one side. There was green grass, and it was a sunny day. The cute guy told me to stop at a gas station up ahead, and he made some kind of joke about buying a few things the company could pay for. I parked the car at one of the pumps and he got out. The old guy made a joke about us and I just laughed. I opened the car to get out, and as I was stepping out, I woke up.

Can't quite recall more than sneaking into a basement of some kind and surprising someone from the other side of tunnel.

There was no dream, alcohol clouded the mind. I couldn't sleep for a good midnight hour or two and I am extremely tired.

Dreamed that Grandpa's 1940s Dodge was running and I was driving it, even with its manual transmission.

Dream - Lucid

I did not sleep very well last night. Lots of waking up. I know I dreamed a lot but I only remember a bit of a slightly explicit dream from this morning.

I was at some school. I think the school day was either about to end or had ended. I wanted to give oral sex to one of my good friends C (a female) for some reason. I know I had talked to her about it at some point. I wanted to do it in the shower. Thinking about it really turned me on. I felt like there was some penis involved somewhere, but it wasn't my main focus.

I was then in the shower with her, though we were clothed and there was someone else in there as well. It didn't even really look like a shower, but a little hallway and another room seemed to break off of it. As I turned the water on, I had to move some floor mats out of the way so they wouldn't get soaking wet. One got a little wet on the edge as I moved it. I believe it was navy blue.

Then we were just in there and nothing was happening; she seemed blissfully ignorant to my desires, though we had talked about it. I didn't want to go out and say what I wanted either, I just wanted her to know since we had already talked about it. The other person in the shower was this guy I met once IWL named MH, but he goes by his last name, H more often than his first name. I was trying to hint to C that I wanted her by saying the letter "O" and some other things. MH then said
"Oh you want oral?" or something like that.
I said,
"H!!!!" and left the shower. For some reason, I really didn't want him to do that, as if I'd get in some sort of trouble for those words being uttered. I didn't think C wanted him to know that we were planning on it, and I had apparently told him, as he knew exactly what I wanted to do to her.

Then, I was sitting in the hallway of the school as many people walked by. I was upset. Then, this guy I was in group therapy with IWL, SW, a slightly creepy old black man, said he could help me. I followed him to a room and it was dark and quiet. He wanted me to give him oral, and I didn't want that at all. I left him in the room alone.

I remember being in classrooms at some point in this dream.

I have never given a woman oral, or even made out with a woman, but as I've become more comfortable in my skin, I've really realized that it's something I wish I could try, as I find it quite sexy, but am married to a man. Granted he would be totally fine with it as we have discussed it many times, but I wouldn't be comfortable doing it inside of our marriage.