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Awake, Non-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[This is a catch-up journal entry. This dream is from the night of October 28-29.]

I'm at a meeting of a class I'm in. We seem to be in an upstairs balcony space with cushioned benches along both sides, and no table in the middle. I get out some generic allergy medicine and tell everyone about how effective it is and how often I take it. I go down to the basement of the building we're in to get some water. My Aunt Edie enters the room.

I'm with a group of my peers, and we're all walking to a swimming pool. I'm the only one who's still wearing street clothes, because I didn't bring a swimsuit with me because I don't want to be seen in one; everyone else already has theirs on. As we're walking, I say, “Wait a minute. You guys have seen me in a swimsuit before, haven't you?” I remember when they saw me in my new blue one-piece [that I have in real life, but no one but my family has ever seen me wear it]. I wish I had my swimsuit on now.

My family and I are at Disneyland. The entrance to Star Tours is mostly filled in with blue construction walls, and the space is being used for character meet-and-greets, one of which P. wants to go and see.

Woke up at 5:30, took some notes, went back to bed. I hadn't gone to bed until almost 11, and I now know from personal experience that I have more and better dreams just before getting up. The one I had early this morning was EPIC. Too bad my recall is so spotty, since I waited over an hour to start writing about it.

I'm with a group of my peers, and we're all making our way to a class somewhere. My peers are communicating with our other classmates via cell phone about how to get to the classroom. Someone who's with me says something about explaining to me how to get there. First, we get into an elevator situated on the right side of the entranceway to a building. We have to hold the elevator for one of our other friends/classmates who is approaching. The elevator takes us down into the building complex.

The next thing I remember is being in a little car, still with that same group of friends from the elevator, driving through a parking garage. There's a place where the interior changes from a garage to a white, carpeted room with nurses doing some mundane task in it (there weren't any patients in this room; it was just a sort of prep/administrative area). I say, “We have to drive through that?” I think, This is weird. It's a lot like the stuff I dream about. But I know where we came from and where we're going, so this is real. [*facepalm* Well, to be fair, asking myself how I got to wherever I am is the RC I've been using the most often lately.] The open space in the middle of the room is wide enough for our little car, and as we get into the room further, I see that the path turns to the left and goes out of the room again. We travel through the room on that path, which leads to an outdoor garden patio. There is an old man out there whose irises are all red, reclining on a hospital bed, and I talk to him.

[Scene change.] I'm on a two-lane road that runs in a ring around a huge rock that sticks out of the ocean. It looks a lot like Morro Rock, only it's two or three times as big, both in height and in circumference. The road is elevated up out of the ocean, and is built out from the rock, so there is an open space of ocean between the road and the rock. The road comes up to about a third or a half the height of the rock. It's nighttime, but I can still see everything clearly even with no apparent light sources [just moonlight, I guess]. The ocean waves are surging up unusually high, so that they break over the sides of the elevated roadway. There are at least a couple hundred other people walking on the roadway; we're all coming back from a camping trip out on the rock [I think]. We're all walking on the sidewalk near the outside-edge railing when the waves start, and I watch at least two successive people fall over the rail into the ocean and start drowning. It occurs to me that this is a chance to watch someone die, something I'll probably never have another chance to do, but I can't bring myself to actually watch. As the waves get higher, I step back from the railing so that I'm standing in the middle of the road, where the waves won't hit me, and start calling out to the others to do the same. No one listens. I think, I am going to die, but in a very detached way, with no fear or, for that matter, any emotion at all. The incoming waves rebounding off the big rock start to create smaller, but still scary waves that break over the inside-edge railing. My parents come out of the crowd and find me, and I'm glad to see that they're okay. Eventually, most of the crowd makes it to a tour bus that's waiting near the place where the two-lane elevated road widens and connects to the roads on the mainland, so everyone can get on it and be taken away from the rock safely.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I woke up just before 5:00 A.M. last night and was disappointed that I'd slept through most of the night, couldn't remember any dreams, and wasn't going to have time for another full sleep cycle before the rest of the house started getting up at 5:30. I decided to try to go back to sleep anyway, focusing once again on MILD affirmations and visualizations. It worked.

At some point between 5:00 and 6:40 [when I woke up for real], I have a false awakening where I'm in my current room and my bed is parallel to the closet doors [not perpendicular to them, as it is in reality]. I'm lying on the floor between the bed and the closet, all tangled up in my blankets. [I'm not sure when this happened relative to my other dreams, so I'm just sticking it here at the beginning.]

I'm looking at the results of a Google Image Search for something involving the terms “japan” and [I think] “front.” Almost all the photos that are coming up are of cherry blossoms, but one of them is of autumn leaves. I say something along the lines of, “There are about ten hundred billion pictures of cherry blossoms, but almost no pictures of the leaves.”

The next thing I know, I'm lying on my back in a wide expanse of grass. Several big, flat leaves in bright red, yellow, and green gently float down onto me from the nearest tree. The sky is blue and the weather is sunny, clear, and calm. There are trees spread out all over this grassy area, all with leaves that are turning autumn colors. Somewhere in here, I recognize that I'm dreaming, but there's no specific moment that triggers this realization. Saito is there with me, and I want to show him a seed pod from a magnolia tree. So, one comes rolling down the hill toward me, and I catch it. It's bigger than it would be in real life, and I say so when I show it to him. He says to me, “It's your mind.” Indeed; by now I'm not only aware that I'm dreaming, but I've caught on to the fact that this is my mind's rendering of what autumn is. I look around for an acorn, but find none. I say, “Of course there aren't any acorns – all my trees are are liquid-ambers.” [That's because that's what most of the trees in the neighborhood where I grew up were.]

This big, tall, flying guy in a blue costume with matching blue makeup, who looks like he came straight from a Cirque du Soleil production, comes and lifts me up in his arms and flies away with me. As I'm being lifted off the ground, the thought of hot-air balloons crosses my mind, and [for some inexplicable reason], I ask myself, “Which city in Canada is the balloon city?” The blue flying guy flies us through a series of very large, rectangular rooms with movie projection screens on all the walls and the ceiling. At first, the screens are showing immersive views of natural vistas in Canada, accompanied by some appropriately dramatic and inspiring music that I don't recognize. I'm not afraid, because I recognize that the movie screens and the guy flying me through them are all part of the Disney theme park attraction I'm now on. The attraction is kind of like Soarin' meets the CircleVision movie at Canada's pavilion in Epcot. The film footage is filmed in a style very much like that of Soarin'; it's obviously intended to make it look like you're flying, except that the shots are designed for the big rectangular screens. The film in the last room of the attraction shows the transition over the border into the U.S., and flies us over Mt. Rushmore and then under a waterfall projected on the back wall. We go under the waterfall by going through an opening in the wall.

Once I'm through the opening, I'm standing on the ground, and the blue flying guy is gone. I recognize the place where I'm standing as the interior of the Snow White's Scary Adventures attraction from Disneyland. There are no ride vehicles anywhere to be seen, though. The Evil Queen is just a little way in front of me. I approach her, and she turns around and says something scary [just like on the real ride]. I scream really loudly and high-pitched. For a few moments, terror completely overtakes all my awareness. While screaming, I think, Wake me up! Wake me up! hoping that the dream will end. [Remarkably,] It doesn't this time. I finish screaming, and observe that the dream hasn't ended, I'm still standing there, and the Evil Queen is also still standing there, turned to face the path where the ride vehicles should be, but is now motionless and silent, as she has finished saying her prerecorded phrase. So I start punching her in the face. I do this repeatedly, but I don't feel anything. While I'm beating her up, I shout at her: “You're an AAT*! I carry more complicated devices than you around on my back every day!” Which is true; she may be computer-controlled, but my laptop is much higher-tech. No longer afraid of her, I walk along the path and into the next scene of the attraction, where there is another AAT figure of the Evil Queen [this is the case in reality, too, but the track layout there is completely different]. This one turns around and starts to shriek something at me to try and scare me, but her words stop and peter out halfway through, because she can see that I'm not afraid of her. I continue walking through the scene. [*My personal shortening of “Audio-Animatronic™,” the robotic technology used to create characters in many attractions at Disney theme parks. I think I shouted more things than this, but this is all I remember shouting now.]

The next thing I know, I'm outside again, but surrounded by buildings this time. I decide to rub my hands together, only to discover that they're really hot. I realize that that's because my real hands are really hot under my blankets. That's the last thing I remember from that dream, but it seemed to take me a little longer to wake up fully. When I did, my face broke into a smile and then a laugh when I remembered the encounter with the Evil Queen. In reality, I had been pretty scared of those moments on that ride when I was a kid, and I still dislike them now. I'm really, really proud of this dream. I think facing something/someone you've been afraid of for a long time and standing up to it is quite an achievement, and a good, worthwhile use of the ability to lucid dream.

Awake, Non-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[I remember three dreams from last night, the last one REALLY long and complicated. It wasn't lucid, unfortunately, but it was still pretty awesome.]

[Fragment] I'm at a mall. Even though it's late at night, there are still people approaching the entrances, mostly to get to the McDonald's and the Starbucks that are near one of the entrances.

[Somewhat longer dream] I'm at Disneyland, going on Star Tours. There's a really, really long, elaborate queue for it, but I just walk straight through, because there are hardly any people waiting for it. The first part of the ride is a standard spinner, which is up on a platform with a big painting of Buzz Lightyear and his spaceship on it. “Why would they do that?” I think when I see it. [Sigh. I really need to make serious reality-checking a stronger habit.] After we (the guests) get off the spinner, we walk back across the platform to the entrance to the next part of the queue, where we are handed a seatbelt to take with us when we go and board our actual Starspeeder, which has four rows of four seats each. I try to get into the seat furthest to the right in either the second or third row, but I can't; it's too narrow for me. There's another empty seat in one of the rows behind me, but everyone else has already sat down, so to get there, I have to climb over everyone else. I accidentally kick one person in the head and just miss another in the process.

[Really long dream begins here] I see what look like full-page panels from a comic book: each one is a cityscape at night, and there is a glow of sunlight on the horizon. The point of view moves, moving toward the horizon each time, but every time it passes over the horizon and 'turns the page,' there's still the same distant glow of light on the new horizon.

After the fourth or fifth repetition of this, the scene transforms into three-dimensional live-action all around me. I'm still me, but I know that I'm imagining myself into the universe of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” which is what this place is. I'm in a room, and there are two other people there with me, a man with dark-brown hair and stubble and a blonde woman. They're both supporting characters from the show. [I knew what these characters' names were in the dream, but I cannot remember them now, so I will refer to them as “The Guy” and “The Girl.”]

Outside, it's now daytime, but there's a thick white haze covering the entire sky. This has been going on for several days, and it will allow vampires to be out and about during the day.

The Guy, The Girl, and I all go to a class at a school. I'm not playing the role of any particular character from the show; I'm just trying to blend in as a generic student. We enter a classroom, and all the students hand their homework in to the teacher before sitting down. I try to walk straight to one of the old-fashioned, dark wood desks and sit down, but the teacher grabs my arm and asks me, “Did you do your homework?” I say, “No, I don't have it.” Of course I haven't done it; I'm not actually a resident of this fictional universe. Then it occurs to me to try reaching into my backpack, which is sitting on a chair, and expecting my homework to be there in order to obtain it. I try it, but it doesn't work. [Yes, that's right. In this dream, I remembered to apply a technique I learned here on DV, even though I hadn't realized that I was dreaming. My mind is weird.]

Later, The Guy, The Girl and I are all in a car. We're talking about how I'm going to leave soon (or something is going to happen soon), but it's all right, because afterward, The Girl is going to be just the same. “In fact, she'll be whatever you want,” I say to The Guy. I'm the only one who knows that the role of The Girl is actually being played by Bebe, a fictional character I imagined up years ago [both in this dream and in my waking life, by the way], and when I stop imagining myself into the Buffyverse and leave it, Bebe will leave it, too, because she's part of my imagination.

I look out the window of the car and see, in the distance on the top of a hill, the silhouette of a big roller coaster and Ferris wheel. I think, “That must be Six Flags Magic Mountain.”

The Guy, who is driving the car, says something along the lines of, “Are those guys still following us?” We look into the rearview mirror and see four guys walking behind our car. Our car is driving pretty slowly, because we're on a narrow street with lots of other cars on it that runs through town, but still, if those guys managed to follow our car on foot all this way and through all this traffic, they must be ghosts. The Guy shoots a fireball at one of them, but he dodges it, even calling his attack (“Ghost Dodge!”). There is a fight out on the street, and The Guy, The Girl, and I all get killed by the ghosts.

Having been killed, I wake up in some unidentified location. [Not really! I was still dreaming, but as usual with FAs, I didn't realize it was false until after I woke up for real.] Waking up upon being killed is exactly what I expected to happen. I know that that particular dream/imaginary place isn't supposed to exist anymore – I was the only one dreaming/imagining it and I just got thrown out of it by being killed, so it should have just collapsed – but I think, “Screw the rules, I have imagination,” and imagine my way right back into it. [Note that although the rules being screwed here are the ones from Inception, there was no sign of one of their dream-sharing devices during this FA – everything was powered entirely by my imagination.]

I'm back in the Buffyverse, but not in the same place I just left; I'm walking around in an unpaved plaza. Passing by a particular cafe, I find my Starbucks travel mug [yes, the one I have in real life] standing on the ground outside the shop, being used to collect the water dripping off the roof. The lid is lying next to it, and both the lid and the cup are all cracked and broken from being left outside for such a long time. I say something along the lines of, “Did I leave this thing out here for the last few days?” to the cafe owner. Then I pick up the cup and the lid, take them with me, and continue walking. I find several small, brick structures with audio-animatronic characters in them, activated by motion sensors. These structures are actually trash cans; I use one of them to throw away the broken cup.

The next thing I remember is being in my old townhouse apartment in Florida. I discover that the two sheets of notebook paper I set down on the couch a few minutes ago, the ones with notes from my dreams written on them, are soaking up liquid. I pick them up and see that there's punch spilled on the couch. Annoyed, I say, “I have to read these.” My roommate, Laya, is there, and the following conversation ensues.

Laya: Someone threw a cup of punch at the couch.
Me: We don't have any paper towels in the house, do we?
Laya: No.

So I go over to the kitchen sink and get a cloth towel.

Laya: You should pull your weight around here.

I start trying to wipe the spilled punch off the couch. It's a foldout couch, and I've been sleeping on it. An unidentified male friend of ours is looking around upstairs and sees that none of the bedrooms up there are being used. I'm alerted to this fact when he calls down the stairs to us.

Unidentified Male Friend: (Emiko) never sleeps here. [he used my real first name in the dream]
Me (yelling back): Yes, I do! In fact, this is the only place I've slept at all since we've been in Florida this go-round! It's just that I sleep downstairs!

When I woke up for real, I commented, “The kitchen sink isn't up against the back wall, and since when do any of those apartments have foldout couches?” [Also, “this go-round?” Apparently, in this dream, not only had I gone back to spend another year there, but so had several of my friends from that year. Finally, my memory for spoken dialog from dreams has been really bad up until now, but this time it was really good. That's pretty cool.]

A bunch of non-lucid dreams last night.

I'm at our original church, and the entire center courtyard area is full of colorful and unique play structures for the kids, including a scaled-down replica of some other important building elsewhere in the area that has statues on the facade. I go into a room in the main building, and a younger (maybe 9 or 10 years old) version of P. is there, being taken care of by the usual child-care people.

I'm sitting at a table in a building somewhere, looking out the window across a narrow body of water. Across the water is an island, where Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea are located. [They're not actually on an island in real life, by the way.] I can see both of them very clearly, as well as the people on the island. Near the shore of the island is a fleet of small, brightly-colored boats and canoes, used to take guests back and forth between the island and the mainland. Most of them are filled with guests waiting to depart for the mainland; more guests are still boarding the remaining boats.

I'm at a coffee shop (might be the same building I was in above, but I'm not positive), working on my computer, which is booted into Ubuntu. I look up and enter the password for something. I register for a camping trip that is happening outside and across the street, near the beach. When I go out to the campsite, there are a bunch of tents (or some kind of structures for us to sleep in), and some portable toilets. The people in charge are distributing rolls of toilet paper from big packages, and are also distributing food. There are also some coolers, which I look into and see that they're full of ice and bags of chicken breasts. This causes me to go, “Aw, man!” I don't want chicken sandwiches for dinner, because that's what we had that one time during the camping trip in sixth grade, and I didn't like them then. [Everything after the “because” is true in reality.]

1. I'm engaged in a 2 vs 2 duel of Yugioh. My dream body is that of Yugi himself, and I'm teamed with Kaiba against Joey and some random DC. Everyone's cards have different backs instead of the standard vortex; my own have the Cinderella Castle from Walt Disney World. The game proceeds for a while, and Kaiba eventually summons a White Eyes Black Dragon which wipes out the other players. As we clear the table, there's some confusion as to whose cards are whose (even with the different backs). Suddenly I'm not Yugi anymore, and Kaiba asks me if I want to a draft of Magic the Gathering.

2. I'm in a hotel for an unspecified reason with my friend M from college. Our mutual friend Z has died, leaving us to write grief-stricken.

12.05.2010

92: 5.12.10; 10:10AM Terrible Driving, A Conversation Indicator, and A Walt Disney Painting. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am leaving a school-like facility and head for a white truck which I believe to be my own. I climb up in and drop off my messenger bag next to me, and discover that Emily is getting in on the passenger side. I begin pulling out of the parking lot and Emily asks me if she can share in the Cheez-It crackers I have in the bag. At first I protest, saying, "Jesus, I got those for me, why didn't you get your own?" but driving down the busy road proves to be dangerous with my bag distractingly close to me, and I have her take it and the Cheez-Its with it.

I'm driving terribly, stopping late on turns and getting in other drivers' way, and I begin to see more and more police vehicles with lights flashing. They pay no mind to me and my hazardous driving, luckily, and I wind up parked and out of the vehicle.

I'm rummaging through my bag when, in my peripheral vision, I see a younger girl approaching me. When she walks up to me, she shows me that she has various merchandise items, branded with the name of a site I run (in the dream, of course). I find this to be pleasant, and we begin talking, but some older girls appear around us and are talking with/to us. One of them has a dial on her shirt near her left shoulder with a number on it that's always changing. I talk with them and say something that makes the number on the dial go to 0, and the girls all cease talking. This gives me an opportunity to take the younger girl away from there and escape these other girls, who stood in a kind of paralyzed state. I explained to the girl with me that the dial we saw was an indicator of conversation strength, and if it hit 0 the conversation would be over, which allowed us to leave before another one could start.

We head toward and walk together through a kind of greenhouse. After we explore it a bit, the girl begins painting a Walt Disney painting on a projector screen. She explains some techniques she's using, and I watch as she paints in yellow, "Walt Disney" at the very top of the screen.

07.05.2010

89: 5.7.10; 12:22AM With Julia at the Carnival. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm jumping around on vehicles in a parking lot, setting off some alarms on my way to getting a ride in someone's truck. I manage to get inside a truck and the dream transitions.

I'm at a carnival with Julia. I run into the guys from the band and we have a lengthy argument, which is so long we wind up walking around while continuing it. Eventually I lose track of them and am talking to myself. I head back to where I'd left Julia, to find there are two very long lines at a particular attraction in which she's working. I get to the front after waiting in line a few moments, and she talks to me about going to Disney World, while I look over her emerald-coloured makeup and dress, seeing she's wearing a generous amount of jewelry.

Later, we're sitting in a store talking with one another.

Image of a blonde woman. She looks like Ripley Grace from Avatar.

shift

Two groups are transported to a dark and scary place, lit up with a lot of orange. The cobblestone streets are coming loose in places, and stone structures are crumbling.

The group that arrives ahead of us are poachers. There are four or five of them and three or four of us. We appear practically on top of them, which is Not A Good Thing, because we're rivals/enemies/nemeses of each other.

We start to spot tiny little insects, looking like the drops of water in the first scene of Avatar (guess what movie I finally saw last week). They're bees. Honey-bees, to be precise. The bear-man in the other group freaks out and runs down a stone flight of steps, batting at the bees as he goes. I get the feeling that he's heading toward the hive.


Run, you fools! They're trying to kill you!

The bear-man in our group (symmetry, I suppose) suggests that we run. Quietly. In the other direction.

shift

I'm in the apartment in Ixburg. I'm still trying to get away from the bees, but at this point I know I'm dreaming. The goal of the dream is to get to another floor, either up or down, and the stairs would be too easy. I move away from the door, toward the master bedroom, remembering my attempts to reach an attic through a closet in a previous dream (#49: Misogynists, Scientists, Doctors, Little Girls, Monsters, and Faeries).


Still gonna kill you.

There's a second exit from the apartment, leading down a hallway we used for storage. I pause as I move to pass it, and decide this would be a good time to practice "Open A Door, Create A Portal". I don't really want to leave this dream, for, say, the moon, but I decide to open it up for practice anyway. I concentrate on what I'd see if I made it to the moon (the image has a moon in the sky, oops) and push the door open.

The hallway has become a steep flight of steps leading two floors down. I'm thrilled, because regardless of my intent, this is exactly what I wanted. I fling myself down the stairs, not worried about the landing, because I'm well aware that there won't be any impact. At this point, I'm quickly moving through the building by skipping the stairs entirely. I peer down each level and jump as far as I can. At one point, I take care to concentrate entirely on the feeling of falling - as if the bottom is dropping out of my stomach. It's horrifying - and absolutely brilliant.

I think back to something I said yesterday, that my falling dreams usually end with me bouncing off the ground. That's not quite accurate, I decide. It's more like I've jumped a foot into the air and landed toe, ball, heel.


Or maybe it was like this!

Nope, totally grounded.

The actual building this dream is based on has four floors, including the basement. I must have extended this by several stories, as I lost track of the time that I played on the stairs. Finally, I reach the basement.

I look around and down the hallway, marvelling over how real all this feels. I feel more awake right now than I usually do while I'm conscious.

There are railings criss-crossing throughout the basement. I remember the April dreaming task (last chance!). Stand on your head, right? I go to a place where the railings meet at a 90 degree angle. I grip the railings, and pull myself up into a handstand.

I can feel the burn in my arms. Balancing isn't a problem, but I have to work to support myself in that position. Letting out a huff of exultation, I lower myself gracefully to the ground, grinning all the while.


Because I can't do this in real life. Yet.

The advanced task reads "Stand on your head", literally. I concentrate on the shadows cast by the light source behind me, put my fingers over my temples and under my jaw, and gently pull away from me and downward.

From a first person POV, I'm watching the shadows intently, seeing the shape of my head separated from my body. Suddenly, I'm brought back to the starting position. I concentrate on my reflection in a dusty mirror, and repeat the process, slowly. I see my only my silhouette. I bend my knees and try to place my head on the floor, only to find myself in a sitting position, legs bent outward, stretching toward the floor.

I'm still in the basement. My mom is folding laundry, and there are piles of clothes all over the place. I see a pink or blue t-shirt, apparently my mom's, that reads "Slytherin Mom". I start telling her about the dream I just had.

I "wake up" in my room at my parents' house. I write down my dreams for the night. I check my alarm clock, but I'm too tired to do the RC properly. I'm annoyed by my mom, because she keeps popping into the room while I'm trying to sleep.

shift

I'm chatting with some people in an imaginary gay bar. A girl tells me I ought to come out more. No pun intended.

shift

I'm doing dishes via telekinesis. The mice from Cinderella will be disappointed that they didn't get to help, but they did the dishes in the last dream. Which means they haven't done the dishes in this dream. Which means I'll still have to do the dishes when I wake up.

I bring garbage out to the dumpster behind the shed. I'm Alice in Wonderland. After falling down the rabbit hole, I meet my character's worst enemy.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

And then I'm a scary-looking monster horse hissing at the singing monstrosity.[/QUOTE]

Using characters from Fox and the Hound. I think the hunter is my father. I'm walking around our property, noticing that some areas are places you really shouldn't be hunting around.

Henry Spencer from Psych takes over the role of father. He's giving me a lift via boat to some point on the lake. Promises me lessons in something or other. I'm writing out a list/schedule for training.

The devil is sabotaging our bet by making my workouts easier. I notice every once in a while that the machines are on an easier setting than they're supposed to be.

The Devil, Oddly. Scare Factor: 2.