2/10/14 Excited and carefree witnessing the end of the world. Exhilirating non-lucid turned lucid (dild)..."overjoyed!!?" is what I wrote in my bedside journal.- It might have been influenced by day residue of seeing a listing for the movie Melancholia in my on screen guide over the weekend and recalling the movie of which I had seen parts of (featuring a glowingly beautiful and bare Kirsten Dunst in one scene). I guess I need to go back and watch the whole movie. Very unusual awakenings tonight either due to an unusual (for me) and more extensive pre-sleep/in bed/closed eye review of recent dream signs, day recall, and some mantras and visualization of diving off a cliff softly onto a beach and floating back up, repeat. Unusual awakening #1 was after only 1 hour of sleep and directly from a non lucid dream. I don't remember waking up that quickly after going to bed anytime at least in the last year. Unusual awakening #2 was 40 minutes later (perhaps end of normal 90 minute cycle with some interruption time in between making it approximately 100 minutes from going to bed.) Earliest possible part of dream was in a version of my office where I always seem to be coming back from training sessions and SC (who I haven't seen in a long time) was in a cubicle nearby and I could hear her leaving me a voicemail (could hear by way of the sound travelling from her mouth a short distance across the room). Possible transition or new dream to a group setting perhaps in a conference room with families present and someone hands me a camera asking me to take pictures of everyone. I see two cute babies across on the far side of the room and zoom in on them and snap a shot but the baby on the left's head disappears. I think "what?" but my mind fills in an explanation "ah, the baby tilted her head behind the other baby's head...there it is now" (or very similar thought). Moments later, while looking at the front of the camera it accidentally takes a picture and I look at the screen and it features a woman in the room looking provocatively towards the camera and her dress is purposely revealing in more ways than one. This scene somehow transitions to a large group walking outside at night time. The provocateur is there with her boyfriend and my wife just in front of me. The provocateur walks close to me and then in front of me as if she wants me to check her out and I grab her from behind in a flirty way but then move to my wife and grab her from behind in a loving way. I can hear someone talking about how some planet (or other celestial object) is crashing into Earth and I am looking into the sky. Everyone starts running but my wife and I seem to have no fear more like a joyful running through this field and there are flashes in the sky, beautiful flashes and I realize that I am definitely dreaming. My wife says something like "lets make love one last time" and we are now running in a different direction from the group deep into the field for privacy I assume. I remember the TOTM (true love) but I think I said it wrong or she heard me wrong and she answered "It is to give others what you can not." I remember thinking that perhaps she meant "give what you think you are not able to give." I woke up shortly after and just had to write it down before trying to re-enter that dream or any dreams. The most memorable part for me was running through that field and looking up at the sky lighting up...breath-taking! Afterwards I managed to get various dreamlets of 2 to 10 seconds in length, some of which I found fascinating at the time but eventually had to get up. 105 Got lucid at the very end of a dream 2/8/14 but decided not to count it. It involved my computer acting strange (dild) but my awareness was low as it had been recently until this morning.
Two dream scenes from last night, I was sexually aroused in both of them. I think there is more content than I can remember and this time it annoys me. I would really like to know more about the plots. I find myself in an underground tunnel. It is dark. There are two workers operating at a huge monster machine. I recognize one of them as an old acquaintance from my former soccer team, so we greet each other. They are digging the tunnel with the huge machine and they lay down train tracks for the new subway. I wonder what I am doing here and how I managed to get here, no idea. I missed one of my recurring dream signs there, train tracks. Also, I did not remember to RC, when I found out that I had no clue how I got there. Gotta start working on prospective memory again! I try to get out of the tunnel, so I just start walking. When I hear one of the workers telling me that this is the wrong way, I already stumble upon a huge rock wall in front of me. This must be the direction where they dig the tunnel. I go back and climb on the huge machine and walk on it in the other direction. I end up in a train station waiting hall. It is a big quadratic room with a quadratic pillar in the middle. The walls and the floor are white and light (or maybe it just occurs to me that way because I just came from a dark tunnel) and there are seats all the way along the walls. There are about 15 people sitting and waiting there. I am happy to see an old friend of mine waiting for me. She hugs me and I am surprised to see her, but it feels good. She is in good shape, she is sexy and has a beautiful face. I always found that she looked good, but she has always been a friend and not a potential sexual partner (it never even came to my mind, because back then, when I saw her often, we were both engaged in relationships). Now I get really excited about her and I hug her again, two or three more times because it feels so good. Her body is so soft and nice, man why have I never seen her from this perspective. She seems to enjoy, so I kiss her on her cheeks, which makes her look embarrassed, although she smiles. I wake up with an erection. I am in a big wooden house. I find myself at the top end of a wooden staircase in the first floor under the roof. The tilted walls and the floor are made of wood as well. There are three people: one random guy, one guy I know from my secondary school and a girl from my university, whom I met around last Christmas. I think this is a weird situation, because there is no way in which they could know each other. But somehow they seem to live together in a student flat-sharing community. They go into their apartment and I decide to just invite myself and to join them because I am curious. We stand in the room and we talk and they seem very relaxed. They suggest that we go into their whirlpool, sure why not. The girl immediately takes off her clothes and stands there completely naked in front of us three guys as if it was the most common thing in the world. I take a glance at her body, wow. She has a nice healthy skin color and she is very attractive. She has a sexy, curvy body with huge breasts and a perfect ass. It doesn't seem to bother the other two guys at all and they take off their clothes as well, but I start getting nervous. I would love to just look at her and to enjoy the exciting view of her body, but I am anxious that I might get an erection in front of the guys. So I force myself to not stare in her direction, although this is what I would like to do the most right now. I don't mind the presence of the naked girl at all, but I am embarrassed by the two guys being there and watching as well, I fear that I might not be able to control my hormones and to look silly in front of them. I take off my clothes and focus on my own body. To my satisfaction I conclude that it looks good and healthy. I force myself not to watch the perfect, attractive, naked female body in front of me and I go into the whirlpool. The water is hot, almost too hot, but I just go with it and it feels really nice, once I merge fully into the water. Once again I wake up with an erection, although I had none in the dream. But there was certainly a lot of sexual energy involved. This dream addressed the ashamed aspect of myself regarding sexuality. But there is no reason to be ashamed about the way god made us, it's perfect and beautiful. If only I had remembered that in the dream... damn she was hot!
3 dreams and one fragment. The first is about a getaway from a threatening situation or people, the 2nd one is the fragment, it is about motocross in a forest. There is much more to it, but I can't recall more details. The 3rd entry is a pleasant dream about flirting with a married woman (I forgive myself, she is beautiful). The 4th is about coming home: I am together with my brother. We run away from something or someone, it is a threatening situation and I run for my life, I am very fearful. We are in the ground floor of a building with narrow corridors and white walls. I have the impression that my brother is not really aware of the danger of the situation, so I yell at him to convince him to move faster and to follow me. We come to an elevator, 2 or 3 people are waiting for it and I decide to move upstairs as well, as it seems to be the only way to go. But there is no time to wait I think, so I chose a narrow circular stair to the right of the elevator and run upwards, while again reminding my brother that we have no time to rest, or 'they/it' may get us. I tell him 'don't worry about grandmother, she will be alright as she has always been. She has lived most of her days happily, just leave her behind and let her go'. As I say that I feel that I myself also have trouble leaving her behind and letting her go, but I force myself to do that and to continue running, so that I am a good example for my brother to follow. On the second floor we climb out of the window and slide down a slanted roof. I think it's fun to slide down here, but then the fear of the people/thing following us takes over again. We land in the garden of the house, where I find an air pump. I pick it up, just in case I could use it as a weapon. We encounter a gardener, who is raking leaves. He says something, but I don't trust him, he might be part of the complot (after all, I didn't even know exactly what we were running away from). I consider piking up a rake lying next to me and just beat the gardener to the ground, but then I decide it's best to just leave. We walk out of the garden and the fear wears off. I don't know what I was afraid of and running away from. But I was scared, that is for sure. I don't know what the passage with our grandmother means. I rarely experience fear in dreams, but I appreciate it afterwards, when I do, because it makes the dream very vivid and detailed, as the fear forces me to be completely in the moment or situation. I am riding a motocross bike on small forest paths. There is dense vegetation and small hills. The bike is light, but strong, so that it easily rides on almost any terrain. I ride in a group with some other people, I have a lot of fun. I find myself on a broad road between some fields, riding the bike. I have lost the group, which makes me sad and I try to find them again. I ask some hikers to help me, they direct me to a small house in the forest and they claim that this is a sort of meeting point for hikers and bikers. So I go there and I am happy to meet 2 people from the group to rejoin. We go into the small house to rest a bit and maybe to find some others. I know there is more content in this dream, but this fragment is all I can recall. The forest paths were beautiful and the bikes were really cool, I had a lot of fun. I have a conversation with a beautiful, young, blond woman. We are on a small hill under some big and wide trees, the scenery is very calm and relaxing. We are with some people we both know, but I only talk to her. We are in a bus, I sit in the back end of the bus at the left window, the blond woman is in the seat in front of me, but she has turned around to talk to me. She has a cute face and short blond curls, I think I am in love with her. But somehow I also know that she is married, so I am not sure how to behave. I decide to ignore the beautiful landscape outside the window and to look beyond my morals and doubts straight into her eyes. As I force myself to do that, I find that it is not at all uncomfortable, but rather it is the most natural and pleasant thing to just rest my eyes in hers. Suddenly my fears of being hurt and my doubts about the moral situation seem ridiculous and I give her my undivided attention. Wow she is beautiful, I think, while she talks (I'm not really listening ). I want everything about her, now, there is no doubt. I sense that she feels the same way, but that we both are unsure how to express that. We walk along the ocean between a forest to the right and a beach to the left. She takes my hand and we just walk, saying nothing. I think, wow, I almost forgot how good this feels! I had several dreams about cute, blond women recently, but I don't know how to relate that to my waking life or why or where it comes from. I guess I have just been single for a while and maybe I am just ready for someone new? In any case it was a nice experience, I am certainly open for more dreams with her I am in a residential area and I walk on small paths between tall houses. A boy, who looks Korean/Chinese, walks past me. He makes some clicking noises behind me and as I turn around, he suddenly has a bike and he rides away. I wonder where the hell did he pull that bike out? But then I just move on. I decide to turn around and go to my mothers place. The apartment door of my mothers place looks a lot like the door of my room I think, as I stand in front of it. There is light and noises coming from the workroom, so I figure that my stepfather is at home. There is no door handle, though. So I investigate the door further and I find out that it is opened by a little light switch. I am now inside the apartment in the hallway, but all doors are closed. I know that everyone is at home, because I can somehow sense their presence, but I don't want to draw attention to myself yet, so I go into the kitchen. There are 3 burned pizzas in the oven and the oven door is open. I sit down and enjoy the calmness, peace and idyll of the situation. Smells and feels like being home and everything is alright as it is. The bike coming out of nothing should have made me more curious or even lucid, because I noticed it in great details and even wondered about it. But somehow I just went on with my walk. The apartment is not the real one, but purely dream fiction. It was a pleasant dream nevertheless, it had the comforting feeling of being home.
July 16, 2013 Some sort of seeming apocalypse, there were not many people and I was at work when it all happened. Leslie and I were not dating anymore, and when the incident happened, and there were various groups of people who were leaving on their own. I went with Nanea and so did a few girls. I tried to talk and flirt with the girls but I was doing horribly. They did not seem into me at all, except one was a little. We were going to another state I believe and I had grabbed some stuff prior to. We were heading to California and arrived almost immediately. We were driving around looking for some place to settle. Soon it faded out and I arrived back at the original site which was now distorted. There I saw some people I recognized, including Marko, and some other people that were the same age as me. Some of these other people wanted to go with us, but they still did not. The same group I was with last time went together again, but we were without the girl that I successfully flirted with a bit. So it was just me and the two other girls, one of which was April. I did not flirt well still and I had to pick up some things for myself again. All the actions did not seem the same to me, but all the relationships were. I had told Nanea that we went to California last time and where we were but he did not wanna go that same route this time. It began to fade out. I went back to the same sort of venue, but this time I saw people getting done with football practice or something… I began to play football with some people who were there too, mostly graduates with a few to be grads from my year. We just played football for a bit and I was doing pretty badly still as I was eating an apple and I just felt so off balance in every way possible throughout the dream. I was just incapable of doing certain things. It was strange. I then woke up.
12/14/2012 11:30pm I am at a party in a large warehouse and people are dancing. It still a pretty big room but small by comparison. There are disco lights and smoke. There are several groups between me and my girlfriend who I see dancing and having a good time. I am extremely tired and because of the setting I started to feel drunk like I haven't been in a long time. Next to me is a really cute girl dancing and she starts to flirt with me. I'm too tired to participate and besides I have a girlfriend. I lean up against the wall. I close my eyes and start to slide down the wall till I am lying on the floor. I didn't want my girlfriend to see me drunk but still was wishing she would come take care of me. I fall asleep for a bit. When I wake up the lights are out and everyone had gone to sleep where they were. A giant quilt covered the whole room and only the people along the wall could pop their heads out. Most had paired up but nothing sexy had gone on. I wondered why my girlfriend hadn't laid down next to me. Instead, the flirt was next to me and she was playing with my hair and starting to cuddle up. I was way to tired to move and so I let her do her thing. Our legs were touching when I sat up to see where my girlfriend was. I couldn't see here but thought that she was probably one of the lumps under the quilt about 15' away where she had been dancing. Still exhausted I plop back down to the floor. The flirt plays with my hair some more and then I hear my girlfriends voice saying something along the lines of "WTF...what is going on here.. you letting her..."...I don't have an explanation. I'm to tired to give an explanation. Being as tired as I was would have worked but I was to tired to even think of that. For those few moments my GF was pissed but then she became totally unconcerned. Apparently she had been loving the huge climbing wall in the next room and was climbing alone while everyone slept. The flirt and I followed her there as she put on fall protection and a hard hat (like I have at work). The climbing wall covered every wall of this part of the warehouse and extended across the ceiling. There was also metal scaffolding and walkways above the middle of the floor. I felt concerned that my GF had been climbing without someone to watch her. Trying not to sound too bossy I ask her not to climb by herself because it is dangerous. I say something about needing to go home but GF says that we don't exactly have one of these at home and wants to keep climbing. As the dream fades I see more of what is in the warehouse. There is heavy industrial extrusion dies with eye hooks on them. Climbing rope and chains are run though the eye hooks...............Wake up
I was in Manila. I was with Rob, along with several people. Friends? Companions? It was like a club or bar, with a predominantly faded yellow color. I was flirting with a guy (didn't see his face until later), at first "accidentally" touching his hand (although I think he did it), and eventually holding hands. Then I heard Rob warn him about me being not able to stick to one person. He didn't say it behind my back, because in fact he asked me to verify what he said. I recall a comfort room, and then traveling. I was in Cebu. I crossed a number of streets, and I remember having some companions, a least one guy and girl. The color was grayish, and early morning. Then I came to a street, and there's a huge bridge over us. I saw Leo T., and asked him for directions. I thought the vehicles traveling the street right before us lead to SM (a mall), but he said no, they returned to the "old" route, so they're in another place. Then I thought that means the vehicles before us pass by the dormitory I need to go. Then the companion I was with became Bhebs. (I just recalled my dream yesterday, or a part of it. I was riding a jeep from a place, near some water places, and then to a marketplace/bus station, and hoped that it would pass by the dorm. Waited. Rode a jeep. Will continue later.) I was in a mall with Crix. I was looking for Gaisano (a mall). She talked to me about my flirty attitude. I then remembered the guy, and "remembered" his face, or rather the side of his face. He's not good-looking at all. I was riding a vehicle going somewhere, with other companions. One talked about a cause in Maryland. I said it's too far.
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