All DJ Entries

#282 - DILD - 6:03AM

I have another short LD but I fall back to sleep before I can record it. Unfortunately, I completely forgot it after this dream.

I find myself standing in a very small kitchen deep in thought about the LD I just had. There is an older woman cooking at the stove with her back to me. I realize she is talking to someone. I hear my ex respond. She is standing with her back to a fridge next to me. She says something about how people keep dumping blankets and stuff at her job.

I suddenly remember I am dreaming but feel awkward so I don't move or say anything. Her brother walks up from around the corner and stands on the other side of my ex. He looks at me and seems happy to see me. I am shock about this so I just smile and nod. The thing I notice the most is how clean cut and nicely dressed he looks. His beard is neatly trimmed and he got rid of all that neck hair. We say hi like old friends.

I finally reply to what my ex said about her job, "Yeah. Well, people are bitches." We all laugh and I give a nervous glance to the woman at the stove that I now perceive as their grandmother. My ex says something and I have to ask her to repeat. It was something like, "Yeah, I hear ya."

I begin to feel bored with this scenario so I rebel against the dream. Say to my ex, "You're a fucking whore anyway." I laugh like I am just joking. Her and her brother laugh with me. I start to walk away and see a clean spot on the fridge as I pass. The white empty space reminds me of a canvas and I FINALLY remember my goal. I say, "Oh you know what? I was going to do a painting." I wake.

#281 - WILD - 4:57

I WILD and transition again. The music is back but I am more interested in seeing. The dream is very unstable and I have to crawl in the dark looking at the hardwood floor. I see three women sitting in the floor watching TV. I begin to feel menthol's side effect and reach out to one. I imagine her naked next to me but something doesn't feel right. I reach for a second one and pull her head first toward me. I proceed to throat fuck her. Some embarrassing and odd things happen, then she vanishes, leaving blue rags to clean myself with.

#280 - WILD - 4:45

I WILD after falling a sleep then waking. I feel as if I am falling. There are mild vibes. I transition and start to go into the living room but notice the there is someone in the bathroom. I enter to see small boy brushing his teeth on a step stool at the sink. I ask who he is but he only answers by spitting in the sink. I pick him up and start to carry him out of my house but the more I look at him the more he turns into my son. I stop, "Oh. Ok. Well you go ahead then." I begin to hear some kind of oldies music but ignore it.

I leave the bathroom and make my way into the darkness of the house to head outside. I have some vision trouble and a point where I felt like I was opening my physical eyes but was clearly seeing parts of the living room. I go with it and go out.

I stabilize with my hands as I walk around. The only thing I can see is where the moon light is hitting spots on the ground through the tree limbs. I look up at the moon and I see a hyper detailed, crisply focused full moon. I pause enjoying the visuals as silhouettes of butterflies flutter in place. There is a brief void then, I see birds taking flight from tree branches toward the moon. I wake up unexpectedly.

#279 - DILD - 4:02AM

I fail a WILD and find myself cleaning an area at work. It's a small desk with a computer and printer. I notice how unbelievable sparse the office space is and worry that it looks like I haven't been working much. I have stray thoughts about lucid dreaming and suddenly realize I was trying to WILD. I laugh when I realize that I must think about this stuff all the time.

I leave the desk and explore this strange version of my workplace. The building is mostly empty and there seems to be no one in sight. I have an overwhelming feeling of loving my job. I feel happy to be at work. I shout out, "Hey! I love it here!" I get the familiar feeling of how odd it is to be yelling while I'm asleep.

I see L sitting at a low table. I have issues with him in waking life and my first instinct was to punch him in the face. I remember that I have been thinking and tentatively practicing loving kindness in waking life, so I stop myself. I decide to project loving kindness to ward him but I over do it. I tackle him in a hug and tell him that I love him. I tell him he is really a good guy and I begin to really believe it. I think maybe I just misunderstand him. The dream destabilizes and I have a FA.

I try to DJ the dream but I can't see the screen. I think I must have my dimmer all the way and I try to guess at the app controls hoping to turn it up. Suddenly, I feel very tired and sluggish. I collapse over to my side. I hear the dog in the master bathroom and know that she is never in there. I realize I must still be dreaming. Then I hear my younger daughter calling for me and my son beginning to cry. I keep telling myself this is all fake but I can't seem to move. My wife touches me and asks me if I am ok. I wake up.

Date: 24 May

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

WBTB: 2x200mg peppermint oil tablets

Dream quality, lucidity and recall: My dreams were extremely vivid today, I dare say, more vivid that real life. I believe this was the reason why I got a number of lucid moments during the night. While being aware that this is a dream, I continued to engage in the dream, soon losing lucidity. My recall has been rather poor again, which made it harder to figure out how it all happened.

Sleep schedule: I had trouble going to bed on time last few nights, but avoided taking sleep aid supps (mel and valerian) for a number of reasons. Messing up my sleep schedule has made me feel very sleepy and possibly affected my recall.

Dream zero: lucid, happiness, no other memory

Fragment1: some kind of game, rocks, I am walking around

Fragment2: my parents at some event

Fragment3: FA, in my bed recalling the previous dreams and happy I just had a lucid. I am between dream and waking state and I realize that this review is taking place in my head. I drag myself out of the dream and wake up to dream journal properly.

WBTB: upon wake I notice how sleepy I am. I try to recall the lucid, but only remember the feeling and no other details. I hold the memory of Fr1 and fr2 in my mind. I go to take some peppermint tablets, then back to bed. I quickly fall asleep forgetting almost everything.

Fragment4: I want to make tea, I am looking at an unused teabag of green tea, which becomes a box, containing two black teas and one green. On the green one is written "blue goddess" and also "hotel memorabilia"

Dream5: We are at some party and it is really late. Lucid moment. I meet a classmate that I like and I want to tell him something. (something like shared dreaming attempt residual that I keep on doing in some lucids). I tell him to come with me in the other room for five mins, but he refuses. I am thinking about my dad coming to pick me up when the party is over, etc. Another classmate of mine (f), we talk with her, she is one of my best friends. She shares that she is really unhappy with her life, and so on. Very emotional connection with her irl and dreams. She begins to cry, and I embrace her, we stay like this for a long time. Another friend of mine (f), comes and joins us and three of us are holding hands in some silent act of consolation...Lucid moment. Memory gap. We are arranging to meet at our new dream apartment, which looks really nice.

Fragment6: someone has bought a toy, it is a car that behaves like rat because it can climb on the windows

Fragment7 DILD: I am in the suburbs, a familiar place but it looks like it is in the past, so I become lucid. Someone is after me, I am running, climbing a fence. . I think I was trying to figure out a way out of the situation, but I cannot remember anything else.

Dream8 DILD: I am on the street and see a small boy and his mother. The vividness is incredible. He throws large stones at me, I am worried that he will break my ipod with the stone, but it is ok. He continues throwing stones, while initially concerned about my safety I realize this is a dream, so no need to worry that much. The stones are very colorful, lots of them on the ground. I pick up one and go menacingly to the boy. I can't bring myself to throw one at him, so I decide to threaten him instead. I do so, in pseudo French. It is really hard to express whatever it is that I am trying to say, so I end up making strange words that don't exist. At this point or a bit later I lose my clarity. I go over to his mother and begin apologizing about my French.

Dream9 DILD: Family and other relatives are discussing politics, I try to remain impassive. I am indulging in a chocolate cake and then drink some mayo salad that grandma has made. It doesn't taste as usual, and I say it out loud, grandma is a bit offended. Family is leaving somewhere. I am on the bus station in my hometown, cross on red light, and continue on my way to our old home. As I am walking, the dream kind of jumps forward, so I find myself in front of our door. I think to myself "Why did I decide to walk, when I know I could just teleport here?", Hmmm, teleport here? I am aware that this is a dream now. I still want to go in the place so I start unlocking the door. Then suddenly I hear a slightly scary metal sound, like movement of keys. I remind myself not to pay any attention to it, and that it will disappear. Instead it gets louder, comes closer.

I concentrate on unlocking the door, but even as I move the key, the door won't open. I begin thinking why is that, the sound is now really close. I decide to face it, and look down the stairs. Pfuu, it is just my dad! He comes and opens the door and we are in! I am in the corridor with dad, it is dark, and kind of...too dimensional. I am talking to him, but it is hard, and my voice sounds really distorted. I try again but the effect is the same. My prospective memory finally activates, recalling the first two of three step task, interact with a DC, ok. Then eat something. I see a small plant in front of me, and think no! I head to the kitchen to look for food. It is dark, the furniture is different and I cannot remember where the fridge is. I finally find it. At that moment dad comes with some strange foamy orange juice cocktail drink. I take it and think for a while whether that counts as eating something, then have a drink. Before I can enjoy any taste, the dream totally falls apart and I am back in my bed. I remain still and wait a bit, but nothing happens, and begin to think too much, so I wake up. Note to self: maybe be a bit more patient next time?

Comments: I have been getting more of these lucid moments but I really don't know how to account for them in my private dream count as well as on DV, because they are kind of short and I'm having problems with lucid recall.

At the end of the month, I probably will be including a total count, with a reference how many of these are micro-lucids. Before, I counted every lucid I had as plus one, but now I look more at the length and quality. This is getting so confusing. Anyways, I still think it is a very good progress for the past two months. If my dream control ever gets really good, one day I would like to go back and relive those dreams and remember them in full detail.

Total sleep time: 5 hrs

Pre bed: 3 mg mel

WBTB1 natural: 2x peppermint oil tablets

WBTB2 alarm: 1/2 cup of green tea + analytical thoughts + noise = insomnia

Vividness: Extreme

Dream1: Me and my parents are in a hotel, I have just had some supplements and am preparing for sleep. I look at a graph with bar that shows progress towards lucidity that depends on the amount of menthol I took. The status bar is not completely full, about 70 percent to lucid, so I am contemplating whether I should take another tablet or just risk falling asleep and see what happens. I ask my mom if she plans to take a shower now, so that I can shower before her and go to bed. She is watching/listening to something and has three sets of headphones, two of which I identify as mine, and get a bit upset to see she has left a very realistically looking earwax on one of them.
mood: task oriented - become lucid

Fragment2: The toilet seat in grandma's place, and a big mess of poo. Will give no further descriptions, although I remember it in quite a detail. ( Sorry, this was very vivid so had to mention it,lol!)
mood: wondering

Fragment3: I am in a bus, and I am observing and being told the story of a man and a woman. They were supposed to meet here at that bus, be together, but one of them changes something, and the other one gets off the bus before this happens. I am thinking perhaps another time.
mood: interested, positive

Comments: Oh, well, went a bit over the edge here, but at least I stuck to my plan to do a WBTB. Lol!

#172 - 5:44AM - DILD

I was going for a second WILD this time but felt too tired to keep concentration. At some point my wife kissed when she left to go to the city wide garage sales and I tried DEILD. I don't know if I was successful as I felt like I as in and out of lucidity and forgot a lot of dream content.

There was something about my daughters coming in the room while I was trying to WILD. They kept interrupting me and I sent them out several times. I got on my laptop to check something in my DJ and laid back down.

I remember a lucid fragment of examining myself in the mirror and had the same long blond hair as my older daughter. My face looked the same only beardless. I noticed how similar we look now. I lose concentration and lucidity. I wonder why I chose to grow my hair so long. That must have taken me a long time.

The next thing I remember I was in an inmate in a prison. I have the feeling that I was lucid briefly and lost it. I am sitting down at the tables in the prison cafeteria. I look at my hands and notice that I have dark skin. I think about how a group of us kept trying to escape but always fail. I see a man near me that looks like Jerry from Parks and Recreation. I start crying and sounding a little like Chris Tucker and say to him, "Man, what I did wasn't even that bad... AND THEY LOCKED ME UP IN HERE IN ALCATRAZ!... whatchu in for?"
The man, Jerry, says matter-of-factly, "Nothing."
I cry some more, "See!? You didn't even do nothing and they locked you up toooooo! ahhhhhhh!"

Then a man in a suit sits next to me and whispers something to "Jerry" that I can't remember. Jerry stands up looking totally shocked and just keeps muttering "Yep" and "OK". What the suited man said didn't make sense and I looked to him for clarification. He turns to me and mouths the words, "He's free to go."

Then I am genuinely happy for Jerry and several of the inmates and I start congratulating him. Jerry continues to look shocked and slowly walks off. I shout something like, "Don't worry we'll all be at your house for diner tonight to celebrate!" Several of the inmates laugh because we all know that's unlikely.

Then I see a headless man in a t-shirt with bright red, yellow, and green stripes. He's doing a happy dance for Jerry and everyone treats him like he's just comedic relief. They laugh at him and shout out random heckles. I remember this sign from several of my dreams and become mildly lucid. I shout, "What does his neckline look like?" I want to see if he is smooth like he was born that way or if there is gore. I fly over everyone and look. Of course, he is smooth but looks like he is made of some fabric and stuffing. For some reason I get the urge to bite him there. It's is soft and spongy. Then, I get the idea to merge with him and disguise myself as a way out. I place my head in the empty place and our bodies become one. I continue dancing around and grabbing at my junk, making everyone laugh. For a brief moment I feel like I am grabbing another mans junk like a reach around. I pause feeling a little sick and lose lucidity.

Now, it's like I am totally disconnected from the dream and I feel like a fly on the wall just watching. The headless man is not me nor is he headless... He's the LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE fool from youtube! Anyway, he's just sitting in the drivers seat of a convertible riding long with some Hispanic police officer with a thick dark mustache. He reminds me of a character from Super Troopers or Reno 911. I get the feeling like they are a gay couple. They are talking to each other and the leave-Britney-alone-fool is crying about something while twirling his hair.

Suddenly, I say, "This is a dream. I am dreaming!" I am now sitting alone in the convertible in the back seat. I realize how disconnected I felt and look around. I just need to ground myself. It looks like I am near some businesses and a semi busy highway. I see a blue dumpster with a sign. I focus on the lettering and watch as it morphs and moves around. Then I look around again and I feel solid and stable. That's better. I feel fully lucid now and in control.

I get out of the car thinking of the China TOTY. I think that maybe if I climb over buildings enough I can repeat my last attempt. It doesn't seem to be working. I see a bright red building and decide to try one last time. Still it's just plain-jane-suburbia. I notice it's getting dark and worry that this is the beginning of the dream collapsing. I try not to worry about it and fly. I don't get up very far when I notice a storm cloud with vividly clear starry night sky above it on the horizon. There is a flash of lightning and the dream starts to get dark on me. I decide to quickly fall back down. I see a tan colored station wagon below and land on top, smashing it. I turn to look and start laughing. I say out loud to no one in particular, "Dude, look at that car! I totally smashed it!" I really study the car because I think I'll draw it later but the more I look at it the more non-car-like it becomes. I move on.

I notice that I landed in the yard of some housing complex or apartments. I see there are no trees and the wind starts picking up. I feel a few drops of rain on my face. I try to ignore the coming storm and focus on making a wormhole. My concentration weakens and my half hearted efforts fail me. I find the wind very distracting. But I remember my back up plan.

I'll summon CL and hitch a ride. I walk into the street and shout as loud as I can, "HEY CANISLUCIDUS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK ME UP!" I wait a moment in the street rubbing my hands for stability. In a few seconds something like a red minivan shows up with bright headlights on. I stand waiting with excitement and put a thumb out so he knows it's me. The vehicle stops to pick me up. I open the door and climb in like it's now a bus or some jacked up truck. I look up and the top half of the driver is shrouded in darkness but I can clearly see shaved feminine legs. I climb the rest of the way in and sit down. I try to change the character into CL visualizing his face but as the light clears things up I see that it is a young attractive woman. She is petite and slender with dark short cropped hair. She looks like she is wearing something like a Laura Croft outfit and I admire her beauty briefly.

Confused, I ask, "Where is CanisLucidus?" Her response is garbled and sounds like gibberish and I try making sense of it but I think I get the gist of it. "You mean you already dropped him off at my house?"
Responds with a clear, "Yes."
"Ahhhhh... Well, just call him up on the cell and tell him to teleport in here with us."
She pulls a cellphone out of her pocked and dials. She says something sort of garbled again but it sounds like she is doing what I asked.

I look at the road now and see what we are driving down a long hallway with many doors. Each time we get close to one it opens. I notice there are many different types. Some white some brown. Some wooden. Some metal. Now I feel like I am running. I start to turn back to see If CL is with me but I abruptly wake up.


As soon as I open my eyes there is a bright flash of lightning in the room. I assume the storm woke me which explains my dream a little.

Next, I pretty much pass out hard until 10:30am with very little recall.

#171 - 4:41AM - WILD/OBE

I am too wakeful during my WILD so I turn on the irrational thought while maintaining focus on my face and back of neck. Soon that "feeling" alerts me and I focus more on my body. The moment I do that the vibrations start.

I transition out easily unhindered this time but I notice a strange sound. It's my own snoring. It sounds odd and half like apnea, like my breathing is obstructed. I think that I just need to adjust my pillow or roll over to my side but I don't want the dream to end so soon. I try to just ignore it.

I go into the dark kitchen and flip the light switch. Nothing. I try again and imagine the florescent lights flickering on. It works! I am now in the well lit kitchen and notice how everything looks pretty much the same. Including those dishes we failed to do last night. My throat feels extremely dry and I see a glass of water on the floor. I pick it up and drink it but it tastes something like warm spit. I realize I am probably just swallowing drool in my sleep. Either way it's gross and I instinctively get some more water out of the tap only to have the same effect. Good God this snoring is annoying. I try to even out my breathing but it only helps when I concentrate on it. I decide to try to briefly wake myself and roll over but I feel stuck in the dream and can't wake up.

My efforts put me back in my dream bed and I feel like spinning and I do so until I am standing next to my bed. (NOTE TO SELF: This may prove to be a useful way of teleporting if I can change my location by changing my expectations.) I can still hear my horrible breathing and it really distracts me from any goals I have. I think about just holding my breath until I wake up but the last time I did that was really painful. I decide to just wait this one out and play with the environment. It's really dark again and I wander into the bathroom. I decide to get some light in here by opening the blinds. The right one was only dark void but the left one lit up the room. I look around and notice the shower is actually on the window side. This is totally backwards but it doesn't matter to me. Then, the dream starts getting dark and I concentrate on the light. I close and open the dark side and now there is twice the light.

For some reason the snoring is so distracting that I just literally hang out in the bathroom. I float up and climb on top of the shower doors. Then I hang there as menthol kicks in. (Is this really the expectation now?!) I imagine my wife coming in and giving me a blow job. She doesn't show up but now I am really excited. I float into the bedroom. I try not to look at my side of the bed and don't worry about seeing my other body. I focus just on her. She is awake sitting up and ready for me with a warm smile. The light coming in from the window makes me feel like it's early morning. The rest of the dream is none of your business! But ultimately my snoring was so distracting that I didn't fully enjoy it as much as I could have. At some point I closed my eyes during my love making and the dream broke apart waking me up. That was a bitter sweet moment as I was enjoying the realism of the dream but I was so glad that horrible sound stopped.

This is the second time I have had breathing issues on my back during a lucid. Perhaps I should look into that!

12 am S
3 am W drank a strong peppermint tea (three tea bags). back to bed at 330. didn't actually get back to sleep for a while after that
4-430 am S had to be closer to 4 considering all the dreams.
5 am W - nightmare, wrote everything down and went back to sleep an hour later
6 am S
9 am W - final

Had gone to my grandmothers house when she wasn't there ((nothing like their RL house)). I cleaned up some stuff on a counter and when they got home told them I had. 'thats nice dear'. There was someone there they didn't like.
Transition
My grandparents were no longer around and the house was a little different. K and B were behind a bar and in a kitchen. Me, L, and random guy were in the living room. ...sexins ensue... i'm invited to play with K and B and go around to do so. i cant seem to kiss K right - something just keeps feeling 'off'.
Transition
I'm in some sort of apartment. The guy 'next to' us (it was kind of embedded in our apartment and connected to another apartment network as well (used shadow memory of a previous dream to briefly touch on what that network looked like - I was never there in the dream)). had just installed an awesome AC system. The controls were in our apartment though. Apparently they had to wire it that way because of the buildings design. They guy there came out and talked with me, my mate, and a friend of his. They all started talking about some game and/or the computer. At some point I was outside the apt along with the neighbor guy. One of my cats (oci) was there as well - he slinked back into the apt - clearly uncomfortable where he had been. i think i was smoking outside. while the guys were looking at a comp, I started focusing on a magazine. I got about 1/3 - 1/2 way in when it got to the main article. It was all on a movie that was coming out soon. It was filled with gory shot after gory shot - all stark whites and reds. It started with an image of a chick kinda grainy and turning her head - very reminiscent of the grudge. I told my mate that I wouldn't be able to see this movie - too disturbing. I keep flipping though and the article doesn't end - the rest of the magazine is nothing but those disturbing images. I close the magazine.

Spoiler for Nightmare:

she is lying on the floor - coming for me. I freak out. I try to stab her in the head with something, but she doesn't react. I have something sharp and I cut off her head and toss it (after imagining her holding it). She is still reaching for me - I'm terrified. I chop her hands off - with a lot of difficulty - she is wiggling around a bunch still trying to 'get me' as i'm doing my best to pin her while chopping. She still seems to be coming for me somehow. Despite the lack of hands she seems to be able to grip a tiny bit. I'm hysterical at this point. I go for the window - its smallish and high up - as if we are in a basement. Its as i'm opening this window and she is reaching for me that I realize this must be a dream and immediately wake myself. I could feel myself creating the next part of the dreamscape - parking lot and cars. There was super creepy heavy base music to go along with her coming after me. ((there was no thought at all of turning on her. The terror sensation lasted a bit into waking life - lots of RCs. I'm still a little shaken up (this is at ~530/6 when i'm writing this) and uncertain about my ability to go back to sleep))

((this dream was really confusing to write - the location kept changing in my memory. i might have been mixing two different timelines))
There was some sort of fungus being spread on all the pot crops - government conspiracy. Wanted to find and hide the little bit that I had, but the cops got there too soon. They weren't after pot though. Eventually it was just a large group of people being held in a smallish space At some point in the dream the space was larger - like two houses to either side, one above, and a common area in between. Some of the 'prisoners' were organizing a resistance. They met up above. There was a slip of paper with someones # hidden on it. I was trying to find it and somehow call them - they could end this captivity. They guys name was Travis or Tailor or some other T word - I don't think it was actually a name, but it slipped away quickly. A person's head was snapped in front of me by invisible hands - she knew too much and was going to spread that knowledge. A friend was getting pulled out of the captivity 'room'. She was special in some way - had money or friend in really high places. They said they were neither holding nor not holding her and moved her elsewhere (i'm assuming somewhere nicer).


((So, i'm thinking that the Peppermint tea Definitely had an effect on my dreams. Dont know if i will ever try that again though as the nightmare was extremely vivid and disturbing.))

((oh yeah, when i was writing in my DJ after waking up at 9, i realized i had tool's song parabola running through my head))

#162 - 4:42AM - WILD

I WILD straight into a scene outside. I was thinking about the beach and I remember sand but not much else. I didn't really do any control that I know of and just went with the dream enjoying the hell out of every second of being lucid.


At some point I have an FA. My wife keeps talking to me and I think she is the reason why I woke up. I tell her to shutup and leave me alone but she ignores that. After awhile I tell her, "I will slap you in the face if you don't leave me alone." She keeps talking then... WHAM! I vividly feel my right hand connect with her face.

I freeze. She doesn't make any sound or seem to move. I feel totally awful that just hit my wife! I expect her to go ballistic on me but nothing happens. Then I realize this has to be a dream. I roll over a little to note the feel. Yep that feels like my dream body. Sluggish, numb, and a little slow.

I move close to my wife to apologize. I still feel so horrible. We cuddle we automatically have sex.(menthol?) We do it for several minutes then I realize this is sort of a waste of time. The sensation isn't very realistic and I really don't want to risk waking up or *eehem* make a mess.


This dream is super long and unfortunately I have a huge memory gap here as well.

I am outside what looks like my back deck. I see the ground and it has no grass. I decide to teleport out of here but have no real plan. Just thinking about a sliders wormhole causes the view of my privacy fence to distort into ripples but there is no light or color. I raise a hand and see a sheet of rainbow static and then it breaks like glass. I summon the sliders device and point it at the fence. A beam shoots out and makes a proper wormhole. It doesn't last for but a second. Too bad. I give up and decide to teleport by falling backward. I relax and do the "Nestea Plunge"

The scene goes black and I feel myself softly land in my bed. I feel disappointed. I wait and notice slight vibrations but wonder if that was just expectation. I RC again by slightly moving my legs. Yep that feels like my dream body. I throw my legs over the side and scoot out of bed. This time I feel slightly stuck but force through it. I stand up and feel a little wobbly at first but it straightens out. I begin to hear some strange whispering coming from behind me and it frightens me. I don't turn turn around to look. I just say out loud, "SHUTUP.". It stops. I notice how vivid my voice is and my awareness moves to my mouth. I marvel how I'm really in bed asleep.

I walk into the living room and start to head outside. Again, I can think of no real plan just enjoying the dream. I begin to think about how super long the dream has been and think back to the beginning. I feel like I have it all in memory but I may have been lying to myself. During my retrospection I really didn't pay much attention to where I was going and was surprised when a DC stops me.

He is standing there blocking my exit from the house. The really odd thing about him was that he was headless. I feel like I know him but I'm shocked and really creeped out now. I look closer and notice that he is an exact copy of me but with out a head. There is no gore where the head should be. There's not even a neck. It's just smooth skin from shoulder to shoulder with a slight dip where the neck should start. I command him, "Tell me what you represent!" No answer. I know that he doesn't have a head but this a dream and there is no reason why he can answer me. I poke him in the chest, "If you don't answer me I will throw you out of here."
I wait and stare at him were his head should be. Looking at his neckless torso was just too much.

Slowly, he answers in a small timid voice. "Second Contentment" (but it sounds like second contentiment)
I'm still a little freaked so I come on really strong here. Annoyed, I yell, "SECOND CONTENTMENT? WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN!?!"
After a moment, he even more timidly replies, "I don't know."
I notice the door is wide open behind him and the porch light is on. I step forward to move outside and he moves with me. When we get on the porch I say, "Well guess what? I lied. Get the hell out of here." I push him off the porch and he flips into the flower bed and vanishes into the darkness.

Thinking back I wish I had been a little more gentle with him and tried to get some better answers. For whatever reason this is a part of myself that needed some attention and I was a mean bastard. The whole thing was just so damned creepy that I couldn't take it. Maybe next time I can be more calm.

I step out into the street. The scene was getting dark and I really had to try hard to maintain visuals. It feels windy and I feel like my eyes are drying out. Suddenly I realize that my physical eyes are open and must have been open for awhile. I can see the bedroom door. I don't panic but close my eyes and focus on seeing on the back of my eyelids. after some focus I DEILD back into the dream.

I see the neighbor getting in a car but I ignore him. I start thinking how I can't remember any goals. The only thing I could think of is how I was thinking earlier in the day that it would interesting to fly into work during an OBE. I live only 7 blocks away in real life so why not? I start in that direction down the street.

I see a long rectangular shape in the distance at the end of the street where it Ts off. (This still may have been my door) I focus on that spot and feel my body get light. I put my hands in front of me and my legs back. I get the strange focus effect and zoom straight there. Then I fly up over the houses and into the parking lot at work.

For some reason there are several dumpsters in the way. I note four are blocking my path to the long walkway leading to the doors. Two are blue, one is red, and one is green. I weave through them crouched and sneaking. I stand up right when I realize there is no need to be sneaky. Now, I see the doors as I slowly fly to them. It is dark inside and only outside night lights are on. Let there be light. Let there be light. Let there be light. Soon I see some bright fluorescent lights flicker on. Alright thank you! I fly up to the doors and phase through the glass windows. I land upright inside.

I take a look around and let out a loud "WOW!" The entire production area in this part of the plant has been cleared out. Instead of brick and steel there is sheet rock that has been taped and mudded but still bare with no texture or paint. Someone has built a stage on the left and down on the other side the break room has been opened up into a concession stand. I see Glen and Steve down there eating and walk to them. Glen is eating nachos and Steve has fried chicken. Before I speak to them I notice a guy on stage. I didn't notice then but can't help but think that he looks like anderj101. He is holding a black electric guitar and is standing next to a black baby grand piano. He seems messing with some equipment and waiting for people to show up. I ask him, "What am I supposed to do? I can't work like this." I don't remember his reply but it wasn't helpful. I jokingly ask, "Can I have sex on stage?" (menthol?)
He laughs and says, "Hell yeah. I'll play Final Fantasy Pewter Shooter while you do it."
I notice I am walking among tables now and I have a empty metal coffee can in my hand. I am tossing it up and catching it and beating on it like a drum. Just being fidgety like in real life. I get within inches from him and turn my left ear. Laughing, I ask, "Can you repeat that? Did you say Pewter Shooter or Peter Shooter?"
He acts like he can't remember and mutters, "Hmm... Peter. Pewter. I don't know. I think it was pewter."
"Are you sure because I want to remember this so I can look it up later." For some reason I don't want to mention that it's a dream. It feels like my great secret and a joke on the DCs.
"I'll probably forget half this shit anyway."

I freeze. Suddenly I remember how incredibly long this dream has been. I freak out that I will forget all of it. With this thought I open my eyes.

I'm not entirely sure but I want to say this dream got on close to an hour. It's really impossible to tell though.

I later had some non-lucids

Work
I was running a strange braid machine at work putting green nomex on a cable. It turned into a big confusing mess.

The bar 5:58AM
I was in some swanky bar walking out. There was a table with a big potted plant. I walk around it to be block by the only table with a yellow table cloth. There was an old man sitting with a young woman at a connecting table. I say, "Oops sorry" and side step them. He looks annoyed. Then I stop and suddenly want some beer. I turn back to the bar.

There is a middle ages mixed race woman. I ask her for "2 Budweiser Lemon... No I mean Lime."
She looks pissed off and hatefully says, "You want 2?"
I nod
With a smirk she tell me, "That's $18.30" She turns to get them and I start fishing in my wallet for a 20. I start thinking how much beer I could buy and take home for $20. I look down and notice she already has 2 bottles open and ready with a yellow label. Lemon?. I think about running away but instead I reluctantly hand her the $20.

Much later I have a nice DEILD that I'll post separate.

Commentary
Supplements
Non-Lucid
Lucid
Dream Signs

No recall before WBTB though I felt sure I dreamed something

4:15AM

Feeling that I had a long lucid. FA I was on the forum talking about an epic dream and feeling happy with myself.

#147 Blindness and Sensations - 4:42AM - WILD\DEILD Chain

I am passively watching hypnagogia while counting mantra "1. I am dreaming. 2. I am dreaming." ect. Suddenly I notice something that seemed super real. I am holding some small plastic bag. I vividly feel it in my hand. So I pay attention to my body and the vibrations start.

I transition out of bed. The room is dark and I am half blind. I hope that eventually my vision will come to me if I just keep going. I feel drunk and have trouble walking. I stumble into the bedroom door and it feels like a cloth on my face. Instead of trying to struggle with it I decide to phase through. The door resists at first but I relax and focus on the other side verses pushing through. The door seems to pop like a bubble and I am free. The cloth lingers on my face for a few seconds. I can sort of see through the weave in the fabric and see light coming through. I slowly do a 360 and the cloth slides off me.

But now the room is dark and I am totally blind. I stumble to the front door. I have to actually unlock the dead bolt to get out this time. Once on the porch I begin to feel my physical sensations disappear and the dream fading. I really don't want to lick the cement again so I just get on my hands and knees and feel the porch. My knees hit the porch so hard it actually hurts for a second. I let my stomach touch the cement. I keep repeating "I am dreaming" Now, I think I am getting stable. I push up to look around but I still can't see. Really, I just feel like my eyes are closed but I am afraid I will open my real eyes. *Sigh* I should have tried.

I hear a car passing on the street and the road sounds wet. BTW it was raining in the waking world and I didn't know that it at the time. I though the sound was so unbelievably real that I must be sleep walking right now. I begin to worry that this is true and think how ridiculous I must look. I worry what the neighbors will think. The dream fades.

I stay still and wait for DEILD. It doesn't happen right away so I focus on the back of my neck to start the vibrations. Seconds later I am transitioning out of bed again. This time go straight to stabilizing. I press against the bedroom wall and start licking. The orange peel texture feels vivid on my tongue. Then, for some reason I get really excited (Menthol) and start kissing. Suddenly, I feel like I am kissing on a womans neck. I think, "NO!" and push away. The dream suddenly vanishes.

One more time I DEILD. I have to focus on my body again to get the vibrations. This I time I decide to wait it out and see what happens. I never transitioned out, but the physical sensations were much better than making love to a wall.

I seemed to have cycled between sensations repeating each one over and over. First, I felt a surging sensation so intense that it caught my breath. I could see a bright white light as this happened and then feel myself tilt upright to a standing position. All the while the vibrations felt like a strong wind on my body. As this was happening I got the most beautiful feeling of peace and love directed toward me. All I could think was, "I am going to dream about Heaven now."

Then that would fade and felt like I was slowly spinning on my back and levitating up and down.

At one point the cycles broke and I felt like I was sinking down into my bed and through the floor. My first thought was, "Oh God, I'm going to Hell now." Then, "Whatever, It's a dream. If I can just get this thing going I'll be fine with it." I even made a swimming motion downward until I fell like I had traveled a long way. I am still blind so I open my eyes but I see the bedroom. I look around for a long time and realize my eyes are getting dry and I need to blink. I finally close them and the previous cycles continue for a bit.

I don't know the length of time but it didn't seem super long. Maybe 10 min. Maybe less. My son is what woke me up coupled with my wife's snoring. I get back to sleep soon enough.

In the next two lucids the hypnagogia turns into a full dream but not very vivid. The colors are dingy and the physical sensations are dim. I decide to ride these out, flowing with the dreams as they are interesting from the start.


#148 - The Martian War Zone - WILD - 5:10AM

I am on my stomach and I lift my head up to look around. Two soldiers are standing on each side of me. They grab me up by my arms. The one on my left says, "Welcome back." I laugh internally at this and smile at the irony. I follow them to what looks like a mine cart on tracks. For some reason, I hear a super loud motor. As we ride, I try to ask them where we are going but the can't hear me. It looks like we are riding through a narrow rocky path. Soon, the ride stops and we get out. I hear a Star Trooper like voice say, "Maintain radio silence." So I say nothing. As I creep around, I notice how red and Mars like the terrain looks. I see a path leading downward and a small bridge that spans across a dry creek bed. I feel excited and curious now. I realize I am holding some kind of rile in my hands. I feel it more than see it. We walk around a canyon wall. The enemy is set up behind some boulders. I fire my rife and it sounds like phaser fire. But unfortunately, at that instant I wake up.

I wait to DEILD and again the hypnagogia turns into a dream scene. I am standing on some ancient stone staircase with 3 men in long flowing odd looking robes. Their robes are gray with black trim.

I almost wake up again here but I focus. Sort of a mini DEILD.

We are now standing at the top of the stairs. It's a platform that overlooks an enormous amphitheater. There are millions of people below. The man on my left is standing at a large microphone with with a large golden or brass ring around it. The diameter is probably about 18in. He begins to speak and the words sound very alien and a little like Russian. I laugh to myself as I have no idea what is going on. I wake up.

I try to continue WILD/DEILD but I lose focus now and fall into non lucid sleep for a little while. Did my REM cycle end?

#149 - I Meet My Doppelganer - 5:45AM - DILD

I am with my wife in some adult play land. There is this big thing we are on and its seems really abstract. I push this seat thing along a bar and it breaks off and falls below. There is some strange inflatable thing below with arms that reach to were we are. I jump on one and slide down to the bottom. I see the broke seat thing and the casters that feel off it. I randomly pick up a football. I notice how real it feels in my hands and that triggers lucidity. I look at my wife and say, "So, this is a lucid but it's not." I feel confused why I would say "it's not" but before I can reason this out, I see that my wife is now my double. I say, "Oh you're me!" My double just raises his eyebrows and makes a face like I am just joking around. He waves me on. I'm not buying whatever he's trying to say. I am really intrigued. It is almost like looking to a mirror but not. The feeling was so odd. I probe him some more and ask, "What are you thinking?" But before I can get any response I wake up.


6:58AM NLD

I have a FA but feel as if I was lucid before. I can't remember it, however. I get up an get in the shower. The odd thing is that instead of there being a shower in the bathroom, the bathroom is one big shower with gray stone for wall and floor tiles. I begin washing my hair in the water and notice that I have a full on arousal and I am abnormally huge. I try to ignore it but can't help to want to relive myself. I look around and see that I left the bathroom door open and worry that someone will see so I refrain. Then I wake up.

I remember another dream where I am an animal. I cheat on my dachshund wife and have babies with some other species of animal. One of the babies looks like a raccoon.

8:08AM NLD

Me, Wade, and Quinn, (The characters from Sliders) are half buried by some people. Our heads are exposed but they planted sweet peas on us. We were to be the fertilizer. Someone (I suspect it was the Professor and the Crying Man) get us out. We run away in the the cold winter night.

There are some cardboard boxes that are made to fit each one of us. One is on a picnic table and Wade jumps in it and barrel rolls off, landing smoothly on a road. The road is covered in a thick layer of snow and ice. Wade and Quinn both sled away in cardboard boxes. The road is hilly and it turns into a fast roller coaster like ride.

I check out of the story here and wander off into the woods alone armed with a crossbow. The other two vanish from memory. I hear a deep and mysterious voice say something like "The lonely hunter wanders off alone because that's what the lonely hunter does."

The scene switches back to Wade and Quinn. They come to a huge barbed wire fence with signs posted all over a gate. One part looks hand written with cardboard and marker. It says something like:

NO Ghostly Apparitions.
NO Werewolves
NO Mosters

But I took it to mean that these things are inside there.

The more official sign read:

ROAD CLOSED
This state is comprised of
80 people
DO NOT ENTER

I hear cars passing and Quinn points to another road. There is a normal "road closed" barrier but cars seems to me passing right through it like ghosts. Quinn says, "There is another road right there!" I feel like a part of the story again and I really feel like we need to enter the barbed wire area but I am also afraid of the bad guys catching up to us and think the other way will be quicker. I feel really indecisive. I wake up.

I try to reenter the same dream via DEILD. I see the sign with blue lettering clearly. This time is says there are 85 people. I focus on that but my son wakes me up again.

On Fri night I gobbled down a 37g box of lozenges with menthol in them (Cherry Tunes).

I had one vivid dream during the night - where I'm teaching and I was reading a question - instead of realising it was gibberish I thought it was in German.

Nevertheless after waking up and getting back into bed I had another dream. I can't remember how I became lucid, but I remember as the dream went a bit crazy I had decided it was a dream. I also took control and decided to change the dream completely - ended up in a hotel room about to have sex with a lady. I found it difficult to control - never got to the deed and kept changing from one woman to another as my concentration wasn't 100%. Thinking I was about to wake up I did stabilise it at times mentally. It would have been better if I had gotten tactile, but I was lucid for a good while. After not completing sex I tried the TV which just had static - I remember it having 50 channels, then saw a report of Sam Allardyce bitching about opposition soccer players having AIDS (the idea that he would speak like that is completely mad) as I was losing control and then woke.

Saturday 21 July

Fragments of people talking on IRC in #DV about another member who they were joking about.

An actual dream began with a guy who is not my friend coming over to my house. He pretended to be y friend as we watched some tv in the lounge. After the tv show was finished, he left to shower and everything.While watching tv, my moms tenant was doing something in the kitchen. He was constantly standing three making something while we watched a game which was like SA versus Manchester in the soccer. After my friend left to shower, I changed the channel to something that I wouldn't like in waking life. There was something wrong with my tv service so I could only watch a selection of shows and all the good shows were gone. So I went to shower and left my friend to watch tv.

Things which I forgot to mention:

We spent most of the day outside with the dogs before coming inside. We went to some place which gave us free phone chargers and blankets. The dream took place in my dads house, not my moms. My dogs were also there as they were trying to catch the scent of some puppy.

Second dream:

I am not one hundred percent sure about what was happening during this dream but I think we were at an Irish brothers anniversary day. We were inside the school hall and the person with the mic said we should get a dance partner although I didn't hear what he said. When I saw everyone dancing I had to dance with my friend. But I was glad we didn't have to touch each other. When we went passed my other friend, he was standing there with a black eye and drops on his eye. He said the guy hit him in the face causing it to water (?).
So we went outside and all that really happened was that we were all fighting one another around these massive vehicles that I hadn't seen before. The next section is quite blurry so I cannot explain the massive shift. Next minute I was being chased by this mad guy who I had owned several times. At one stage he followed me up the stairs and I dodges his upper hook by crouching and then jabbing him in the stomach. He passed out and I ran away. I climbed up this massive pillar Like a spider. These girls I know (from like grade 9) watched me and were impressed. Te crazy guy ran last without noticing me. Then when I came down I went to the girls and flirted with them. The dream then shifted back to the start with an alter or theme. After experiencing this same section before, it was quite weird. The coach guy was throwing random hard balls at me an then I threw them back or something. Somehow there was sexual attraction between his assistant and me.

Supplement Dose: 2 York Peppermint Patties

#1 - Too Distracted [Non-Lucid]

The main thing I remember about this dream is that my dad accidentally chopped off his fingertip. (Though there was no blood throughout the entire dream.... Definitely didn't notice that until I woke up.) I ran all around the house looking for band-aids for him so we could graft it back on. But strangely, almost all of the lights in the house were off, and I tried four or five switches in a row and they wouldn't work! How odd! () Getting frustrated, I ran back out to the kitchen where the light was already on so we could see what we were doing. During all of this, including before my dad had injured himself, I was also trying to hide bunch of OxyContin that R had left on the living room table, easily at least if not more than a hundred pills. I ended up shoving most of them into a Ziploc bag and stashing it in a drawer in my room before I could be noticed though, but honestly I don't think my dad would have really noticed at the time. Not long after we got to the kitchen, I woke up.

After this dream, until I finally got out of bed, I was getting very vivid hypnagogia very easily, just accompanying all of my random in-bed thoughts. One that I remember clearly is walking down a random street considering that previous dream, half knowing that I was really in bed but not really caring. I never sank into a WILD or anything because of them, though. I also remember something about Dexter's Laboratory... which I only remember right this second while typing it, and have no idea what it was connected to.

#2 - Broken Structures [Non-Lucid]

During this dream there was some kind of party going on at my house, and my house also seemed to be fused with a forest at... incomprehensible angles. That's really the best description I'm going to be able to give it. I remember that I was trying to find someone, but then I got distracted when I noticed that the door to my bathroom was busted and wouldn't close properly, but there were tons of people over and I had a very strong urge to masturbate. >.> I got fed up with it for a little bit and sat in the foresty part of my house, and some trees started turning sideways and then multiplying and drawing strange circle patterns with their copies, it was a very bizarre visual. Soon I decided to give the bathroom another shot, and I realized that I could get the door to stay closed but I just couldn't lock it. I decided it was worth the risk. X) I got in there and stripped naked, then I looked at my reflection in the mirror. First of all my reflection wasn't naked, but again I appeared to have taken on the form of a supermodel, and... well, as I stared into the mirror my vision was fractured into sort of a collage of seeing myself from different angles and apparently different situations, and it all had sort of a shattered-glass look to it. It's hard to put into words exactly, but it was very psychedelic... I've had it happen while tripping before. All of the different supermodel 'me's were writhing around in pleasure and making various sexy faces and positions, and there was sort of an overwhelming feeling of dissociation or being pulled into this. I was able to snap out of it and my libido was shooting up through the roof, so I tried getting ready to masturbate but the bathroom was arranged in a really ridiculous way that made it practically impossible, and the frustration of trying to figure it out made me wake up. :c

Oh menthol, I missed you.

Supplement Dose: 3.6 mg Hypericin (1200 mg St. John's Wort extract), 3 York Peppermint Patties

Blahhhh.... So, the beginning of this night was rather unpleasant. Perhaps hastily, I ingested four St. John's wort capsules which were standardized to contain 0.9 mg of hypericin per 300 mg of extracted plant matter, as I've experimented with St. John's wort before and had very trippy dreams from it (though the active I'm more interested in is hyperforin, got some of that on it's way too ). However, four is a rather large dose, and though I was mainly aiming for the NMDA antagonist effects of the hypericin, I suppose I could've taken into account the other possible actives in the extract.... I had a good bit of insomnia and stomach pains (which the peppermint patties may have contributed to), and after a few hours of sleep with no solid dreams I had to get up and use the bathroom, which was... not fun at all. I was certainly feeling the effects of the hypericin as well, as when I woke up I was slightly dissociated. All of my senses were more euphoric than normal, but also more dulled or distant (this may be hard to comprehend correctly if you don't have experience with dissociatives). It felt nice at first, but didn't do much for me overall. It also stood in the way of my progress to help force myself to fall asleep again, with a little (perhaps menthol-assisted) help from my body's natural processes. I got started but the sensations weren't strong enough to keep me going, and I was slightly anesthetized so I wasn't able to get anywhere with it. *sigh*

Eventually, I did fall asleep, and I started the night out with a strange fragment, followed by a fairly surreal dream with a slight hint of mint, so that's nice at least. I wanted to stay asleep for longer and try to suck more out of the dose, but my physiology wasn't putting up with it after I woke up from the last one, so I just decided to get up.

Man, I would love to be able to get some hypericin by itself and not have to go through that again! But, what're you going to do? Oh well, here's my dreams for the night.

Dream Fragment - I was doing cocaine in the back of a high school class that had a substitute teacher with my old friend SN with help from PR, this guy I knew since elementary school. ("With help from"...? Not exactly sure what that implies now, but it's in the notes.) Afterwards I was disposing of the evidence (notes: "favorite tin") and dropped my phone in the trash by mistake, and then people kept throwing more trash in on top of it before I could get it out. D:

An Unfocused Night [Non-Lucid]

There was a lot going on in this dream, and I'm pretty sure I was with O for a lot of it at the beginning, but my first clear memory comes in at the top of a tall building in Las Vegas in some kind of suite with some of my family members and my dad's friend Px (I think?). Mainly what I remember is that we were smoking weed, and I had brought my own but they wanted to smoke theirs first, and I was telling them about how O and I had just come here to Vegas twice in the last three days just to relax and to take some extensive English course that was over in literally two days to get those college credits out of the way. I believe my cousin P then came up to me and started showing me some new Mario game that I had thought was just a port of Super Mario 64, but it turned out to be a legitimate remake with new graphics and features and all of this stuff, and it was on the Nintendo DS. The game zoomed in to take up my entire perception, and I could see now that it actually took place at a modified version of my old middle school. Of course, that didn't strike me as too odd at the time.

Mario was basically just running around and doing wall jumps all over the place, and somewhere down the line (I saw a lot of the game but don't remember much of it now) the narrating voice changed from my cousin P to my other cousin (P's younger sister) K. I told her that she should go wall jump way up to the top of some tower which I was apparently aware of from the original game, even though there was no such structure in it. She gets up there and... it's kind of a weird area where you can see windows and a church bell or something outside and it was sunny outside, and where we were was waaaay high up above the ground on a floating platform, and around the rim of the room (with just a little space extending outward from the walls) there were lots of newborn babies in the kinds of cribs they get right when they're first born, at the hospital. Suddenly K and I were actually here in the room with them, and as the panel was small and she was the one who knew what she was doing, I was standing behind her and holding on to her waist as not to fall off. This is where the mentholy libido feeling kicked in, not because of my cousin (thankfully ) but because I was suddenly aware that I was wearing a sexy nurse outfit, and I was struck with that sort of "pure" feeling that's been discussed in the experiment thread and I just wanted to mother all of the babies in the room and make sure they were all happy. >w<

I'm wondering if the feeling may have caused the dream to become less stable (since in all of my other menthol dreams it actually woke me up), because things unfocused for a minute and then kind of refocused at my house, in my parents' bedroom. I was apparently playing the game on the DS alone now, and some guy who I don't recognize came into the room. I told him briefly about the game and then asked him if there was anyone else (who?) left in the house, and he said no. We also had these sugary colored dough ball things that I perceived as being Japanese candies at the time, and they were delicious! We were eating them to just kind of pass the time and break the tension since we didn't really know each other, and he was watching something on my parents' TV (a sports game maybe?), and I asked him if he wanted to go out somewhere and get some real food, my treat. He said yes but in a way that made it seem like he thought I was joking, which I recognized at the time but I still went to change into a bit more formal-casual clothes. I went back into the room and said something like "Alright, let's go!" and he looked at me a bit surprised, trying to back out of it then but I told him he already said yes. He just seemed embarrased because he didn't expect me to actually pay for him, or something like that. I asked him where he wanted to go, and after much debating I believe he settled on "anywhere with cucumbers". We walked out into the kitchen briefly so he could grab his stuff, and while we were out there I saw a teenage mutant ninja turtle walking around. I don't know which one is who, but it was the one with the blue headband. We headed out the front door and I noticed that it was nighttime and the neighborhood was fairly covered in snow, which looked really nice. I ended up trying to lock the door with the wrong key first, but then I switched the right one. The guy started walking out towards my car, but then I woke up.