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    1. Nighthog's Archive: 28-11-09

      by , 06-11-2010 at 12:19 PM (Nighthog's Dream Grind of the Mind)
      Hey, feel like I should start a dream journal as I joined this place. Maybe some of you may find something off interest in some of it.

      I'll start out whit the dream I had this morning 28-11-09. Only the last one from morning though. Were a few but I tend to only remember the latest unto waking the best in any better detail. If I wake up between dreams and go to sleep again risk is I throw the memory of the older dreams off the night down the drain. hard to recall unless I put effort into remembering it. Today I woke up a few times so I "threw" many away from memory.

      Well the last dream was I woke up about 10:XX AM and felt I should try a lucid before I go up. Had had to go up at 07:00AM ish as my stomach was giving spikes of pain, probably something I ate the night before, it had disrupted my normal sleep. So I felt I should sleep in a bit more.

      First thing I remember now is that I'm either in town or whit some off my old school classmates. Can't really remember which was first, beeing in town or whit the classmates. Well either way I'm walking in town following these people around. We are a small handful 5-6? I'm semi-lucid, can kinda think what I want to do but not in real control. Feeling a bit what the heck, lets try to get sex. Though I want this specific person and she isn't whit the group so I'm following behind and looking around trying to find if she appears. There appears some other girls from those times instead. But it's not her so I kinda don't follow them either but lag behind some more. One off the girls though gets my interest that she really looks beautiful now, grown up nicely. But was more as a mark, how much more beautiful she had gotten now than I remembered her.
      Well the girls more like takes form off the group and earlier people seem to have disappeared. I'm seemingly feeling being close to town centre, but I see it's quite diffrent. I think seems she's not coming around, so I kinda drop the sex idea.
      Just as I do so I hear someone singing about from somewhere. Hear fast it's coming from behind me so I look there and see, it's a really soft and beautiful voice and song I would say.
      The girl is unknown to me, really beautiful though and she comes close to me and looks at me and sings and waltzes around me a bit as I walk forward listening and looking at her.
      She really catches my attention well. I'm more lucid now than before. I think about commenting her. I say she sings beautifully. I get no real response as she continues to sing and waltzes about in front of me now. She looks happy and such and takes a few glimpses on me now only. I feel like singing myself but I'm kinda not there, reaching all the way. I get a little sound from myself but not much and I see she is fading and I her her song stop a bit for try and let me sing instead but I falter and stop. She continues instead but she is soon gone and I don't hear her anymore.

      I have a good feeling about the encounter, little discouraged that I wasn't able to respond fully but I don't let it drag me down and I see myself continue the "normal" dream path along forward. I might have commented about her to the classmates but I don't remember much just past this happening immediately after.

      Soon enough we are about to enter a shop/restaurant/cafe whit some off the girls and one guy but I feel uncomfortable whit him there and have a thought I'd rather have him leave, beeing more present and firm whit lucidity again now. He leaves kinda fast I see and I enter the cafe whit the few girls. Can't remember how many they were now but I think it was 3 girls. One was the now much more beautifull girl the two others are faded/shaded and I can't say now who they were.
      There seems to be a icecream stand at the entrance and the girls are buying that as I go inside. I look at what they buy. I'm kinda lucid still and can't decide should I buy myself or save my money instead. I'm kinda aware it's a dream and my dream and real life logic clash a bit in my mind.
      Goes about something like this:
      "Heck this is a dream, doesn't matter if I have money or not"
      I pull out wallet... "damn I really don't have much money(real life I don't, damn interference!)"
      I put wallet back in pocket. Seemingly not deciding to get icecream. But when I walk toward the table where the girls have sat down I do have a icecream in my hand after all?!
      Well I sit down and my reason come back again. What the heck? Why did I not get a icecream after all? Thinking I didn't get one even though I have one infront of me in hand. Somehow this frustrates me that I don't have full controll and blast up and away outside in haste. I'm forgetting the nice company of the girls that I would have loved to have talked whit, being the reason I followed them now in the first place!
      Well outside walking I have the icecream in hand walking down the path. I see it and think what the hell is this? I see a bucket whit water in the house corner and I throw it down in it. I see two other people walking the sidewalk on the other side of the road and they look at me as I threw the icecream in the bucket. I don't care I just think nothing off it and continue down the side-walk besides the road, agitation lower though.
      I just walk about 100-150meters before I see a playground ahead of me whit some children playing around in it. I decide to go and settle down there to calm down. As I walk and enter the playground there are a few people there not including the few younger children playing in it. But they are more to the side off it on the one corner. They are older people. One is real weird seeming to sit in the swing chairs.
      It seems to be a naked girl entwined inside chains on the swing sitting there whit the chains twisting and turning around her.
      Well I think wtf and ignore it as I don't want to put any energy to manifest it further. I'm kinda really lucid right now.

      I take a quick glance around on the playground and decide and climb this wood timber tilting in about 45 degrees, it's purpose is you should climb it up normally to access this "plateau" at the top edge. Well I climb about 3/4th the way up and decide I want to sit down on it. I take my left leg as support downward to press it down so I don't slide downward and keep my right leg to a angle away from it. Seems I don't glide anywhere so I sit there and look at the children play.
      This one girl seems more active than the others walking around trying different things, kinda catches my attention. Soon she goes toward the bottom part off the wood lodge I'm sitting on and starts to climb it. She seemingly didn't notice me sitting on it above as she climbs it she sees me and jumps down. I decide to do so also and let her climb. She goes on a new try and climbs it up all the way as she reaches the top I decide I want to sit on the plateau instead now, she can climb and there is enough room on the plateau for me to be not be in the way in any way.
      I'm lucid so I fly-jump on top but see that the plateau is unstable like crazy and starts to fall apart and I save it just in time as the girl is about to step on it. I kinda shifted a timber in place whit my feet so it got somewhat stable again. She seems to look at me kinda intently.
      For some reason my focus is then placed back toward the side crew older people. Seems more people around there and whatnot and all kinda looking at me. Might been my "fly-jump" up on the plateau, it's about 2-3meters in the air I would say.
      Well either way my memory was a bit shady here but I seemingly soon take some cardboard or something that was on the plateau and hold it in front of me and fly up and away toward the other people. Like I'm holding this magical cardboard that takes me on a flight around.
      They all start to laugh at my silliness it seems, and I soon throw the cardboard away and continue fly around a circle about them. Things continue to spin and spin and I seemingly get locked in that way and things soon seem to fade away as I spin and spin around them in a clockwise direction. I wake up soon, but not before trying to focus and try to get back into the dream, I want to continue to lucid dream! But I only seemingly get a focus on the people and I seem no longer be in the air but on ground and doesn't feel like the same place or people, it all fades fast though and I open my eyes.

      I remember the dream before this kinda well still but I feel not writing it down.
      I can mention the part where I in frustration again when lucid I jump down this kinda deep pond in a town and go in meditation position and sit at the bottom there under water trying to meditate. First I hold breath but start breathing soon enough. Works ok. I have eyes closed. But I decide to have them open. Take a bit of look around down there at the bottom of this pond. Soon enough there I hear like this weird sound seemingly coming from me like I'm suffocating or something but I breathe fine though. It bothers me and I go to the surface where I seem to spill out a endless stream of water from my lungs. But I still breathe fine though! BAh!
      Well that makes me wake up shortly but soon enough I continued the dream again as I persist to go back to sleep fast without any motion of body etc.
    2. Beh-beh-beh Bumblebee (Fence Autosymbolism part 2)

      by , 09-29-1981 at 03:29 PM
      Morning of September 29, 1981. Tuesday.



      A seemingly shorter dream (after a series of unrelated dreams), deemed shorter in conscious afterthought (which consequently probably seemed much longer than it was, almost “timeless” at the time) involved a boy’s spirit (a young boy, Scott R, who my sister was watching in real life at the time, as his mother had abandoned him) somehow becoming part of a bumblebee, yet also moving about in an invisible “cloud” of some kind at the same time. He is singing a melancholy song about being a bumblebee. One line is “Beh-beh-beh-bumblebee” (which is not a stutter but a slow musical intonation). It almost seems like a sort of prayer as well as a “cheerful” yet somehow mournful inference.

      At the waking stage, he lands on the top of the south fence of the backyard of my sister’s house on Loomis Street, which divides her backyard and the neighbor’s backyard.



      This is part 2 of a random but extensive set of dreams pertaining primarily to fence autosymbolism (which means it is inherent to the dream state, not waking life). A fence is rendered as a metaphorical barrier between the dream state and the waking world, though can also serve as induction and dream state revivification in some cases (though not as often as doors do in my case).

      In addition to liminal space autosymbolism, the very common dynamic of vestibular system correlation is present, with a bee as representing synaptic gating (due to the association with a bee “buzzing” and loosely associated with electricity as such). Thus, the bee is the preconscious factor of this dream. (The preconscious is often personified, and because the bee seems to have Scott’s essence on one level, it is partial personification here.)

      An additional but inexplicable factor is that the boy (Scott) also had the same dream during the same time period (though from his viewpoint as actually seeming to be a singing bee). Most people do not accept shared dreaming (or in fact anything they cannot explain) even though I have experienced it continuously since earliest memory, especially with Zsuzsanna. However, this series is for explaining fence autosymbolism and to help rise above the deception of “interpretation”. People will believe whatever they want regardless of someone else’s knowledge and experience. After all, each life is unique.

      In part 1, I wrote a little about the relevance of the rabbit. In that dream, it was a factor of returning to deeper sleep (even though it occurred during what would otherwise be the waking process), while this dream is a factor of closeness to waking (and was the last dream of my sleep cycle). (The rabbit goes under the fence but is stuck for a time within the fence itself. The bee in this dream lands on the fence with the assumption it will keep flying. Neither dream relates to waking life, but the dreaming process itself.)


      Updated 06-02-2018 at 05:41 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. “Swathy Daniels”

      by , 02-10-1980 at 08:10 AM
      Morning of February 10, 1980. Sunday.



      I am disembodied in my dream while watching a seeming display as if from a television movie or commercial, although it seems I am actually there at one point and hovering over the scene following the unknown Caucasian female as she walks. It apparently involves a female detective and “Swathy Daniels” is apparently her name. There is an unseen younger male of perhaps about twenty (as a voice-over) singing her name as she walks through the unknown city (though may be La Crosse) in a pale gold jacket - he sings it slowly in a sort of odd matter-of-fact way as she crosses the street (not at an intersection but near the middle) with a very slight sense of melancholy though still with a discernible degree of cheerfulness.

      Later on, I reason that it may have turned out to be just a perfume commercial (or perhaps a shampoo commercial) even though I still sense it is related to a detective show. (Detectives are typically rendered in cases where the non-lucid dream self is puzzled by being in the dream state).



      Trying to work out what this could possibly mean, there is a good chance that crossing the street is a liminal space period, though not as much a consciousness shift as with a staircase - though reaching the other side of the street would be a good waking metaphor. “Swath” is probably a dream sign play related to being wrapped (”swathed”) in a bed sheet during the dream. “Daniels” may or may not be a subtle play on actor Anthony Daniels, who played C-3PO in the “Star Wars” movies and in which case would reflect one of the aspects of the dream self in not being fully conscious. This seems possible due to the fact her jacket was of a similar color (also an emergent consciousness color) so then would represent the transitory waking self (hybrid stage, usually very brief other than in my childhood dreams).
    4. The Legend of Tony Karoni

      by , 06-27-1976 at 01:47 PM
      Morning of June 27, 1976. Sunday.



      Dreams are sometimes known for providing supposedly worthless and ridiculous poetry that often has non-words or very odd variations of known (real-life) poetry. Here is an intriguing example:

      Don Grady, the actor (who starred as Robbie Douglas in the television series “My Three Sons”), stars in an epic Western - “The Legend of Tony Karoni”. He was from Virginia (associations with “The Virginian” Western television series, I suppose) and sometimes rode in a group of many other cowboys. After many adventures, gunfights, and stopping rustlers, he ends up in a small jailhouse in an area in Southern California or possibly Mexico, to meet the local sheriff (and possibly to rescue a friend who is being held wrongfully). Two Mexican bandits are standing inside, leaning on the bars of the jail. One of them says, “Well, gang, look who’s back!” (There only seems to be the two men, no actual “gang”.) They then sing in a perfect, layered, somewhat metallic voice:



      “It’s TOny KaROni!”

      “All the way from NEAto’s cell!” (or “All the way from Needles’ cell!” - Needles is a place in California at any rate).

      At this point, I am not certain if “Neato” was a play on the reversal of the “To” and “ny” of “Tony” or if they were actually singing “Needles” in reference to the town, though it does sound like “knee - toes”.

      There are some possible plays here, one being from hearing “macaroni” in real life as well as possible associations with the “Frito Bandito” song (1967-1971?).

      Updated 08-03-2015 at 11:45 AM by 1390

      Tags: cowboy, music, singing
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    5. “Jingle all the waaaaaay…” (Melancholy Dwarf Sings)

      by , 12-23-1970 at 06:23 PM
      Morning of December 23, 1970. Wednesday. (Original data and date validated.)



      Recurring over Christmas holidays during fourth grade. I am at school for some reason during the weekend starting Christmas break. A very short man/elf (who is very old) - or possibly a dressed-up dwarf or midget more “realistically” - is singing “Jingle Bells” very mournfully (dragging out “way” with a very melancholy flow with about three syllables). He used to sing it with great cheer, but his wife, who was three times taller than him (a blue Christmas fairy or whoever) had died the year before. However, in one part of my dream it seems her “spirit” is present and in a happy mood watching him and there seem to be a few other “woodland characters” in the background, possibly to later participate or remain an audience. (The idea for the “blue fairy” as a dream influence may have come from “Pinocchio”.)

      In real life, I had gotten a really long candy-cane-striped pencil with an elf head on the end - not an eraser though, it was made of plastic and cloth - from school as a gift from a teacher. I actually had it for many years, unused.

      Also in real life, I had exchanged gifts at school with Morris E based on name draws in school. I had given him (bought by my mother) a small spinner game with tiny pegs in a plastic box about the size of a deck of cards, and he gave me a pair of very cheap toy plastic handcuffs. However, the handcuffs broke after a very short time before school was out that day (and during the so-called Christmas party). The teacher made us switch back to where we kept our “own” gifts and of course, this made Morris E more of my nemesis than he already was, blaming me for “ruining his Christmas”, something I did not take all that seriously, though. My mother seemed vaguely annoyed at me keeping the gift as well. It is possible the mournful singing dwarf was some sort of representation of Morris in one layer, as he was a “dwarf” of sorts, that is, his growth was stunted and he remained very short as he got older.

      This dream colored my mood, but not in a negative way. It just felt “right” at the time, almost nostalgic (even for a child). I did make the stronger association with a “Christmas dwarf” rather than a Christmas elf.

      Updated 10-11-2015 at 06:26 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
    6. The “Little Rabbit” Song (Fence Autosymbolism part 1)

      by , 03-17-1970 at 09:17 AM
      Morning of March 17, 1970. Tuesday.



      My dream’s setting is the southwest corner of West Elementary School’s playground. A small light-colored rabbit is trying to get through the bottom of a chain-link fence where a few of the links had been broken (to leave the fenced-in area of the playground to continue south, where there are mostly the backyards of suburban houses), presumably to escape danger. The rabbit firstly seems slightly too large to fit through. (I am not sure what the danger is, as I do not see any other animal at any time. Perhaps it had been running from a fox, though this remains uncertain.)

      I and a few other children, mostly my friendlier classmates, including Danny and Annette as well as schoolmate Linda, gather around the scene. Some of us are standing and some of us are squatting. I am squatting. We start singing, “Come little rabbit, you can do it” to the tune of “Glow Worm” (a song my father performed now and then and one I had played on the accordion and organ when I was older). (I did not make the direct association with the song while in my dream.) It seems to be working, as the rabbit is almost through and I get the sense that our singing was effective.

      Even though we are happily singing “come little rabbit” (rather than “come on little rabbit”, though this would not have fit as well with the “Glow Worm” melody), the rabbit is moving through the fence away from us to the other side. For the record, the “Glow Worm” lyric (as subliminally borrowed in my dream) is “glow little glow worm, glimmer, glimmer”, which matches “come little rabbit, you can do it” with its nine syllables. (There are variations of the real song, including comedic ones.)



      Decoding my dream with intelligence and experience (only for people with a genuine interest in dreams):

      A point of focus is the chain link fence. This fence exists in real life. The fence divides my elementary school’s playground from the backyards of the suburban residences nearby for the entire city block. The essence of a dream’s autosymbolism is more from literal factors, not symbolic in the conventional sense. The fence is autosymbolism based on how I would perceive a fence in reality, as a divider between states of being and the area of immediate current focus as I sleep. As I am unconscious, and as a rabbit is involved, I consider that a rabbit, representing dream state induction as in “Alice in Wonderland” and naturally perceived as an underground denizen, is autosymbolic of the sleep cycle itself (being underground as being analogous to being asleep). The rabbit is apparently trying to escape from the playground area, though there is no perceived danger.

      It can be considered that I view and project my dream self as the secondary form of a rabbit due to my desire to return to deeper sleep (with the school’s playground as a preparatory rendering of getting up and going to school). Thus, I focus on the metaphorical barrier that divides the dream state from wakefulness. A rabbit also represents vulnerability. However, do not make the mistake of pretending there is a conscious self correlation, as it is about feeling vulnerable while I am sleeping. This is a mistake that people who “interpret” dreams always make, that is, mistaking the dream self identity as always being like the conscious self while awake (which ultimately makes no sense at all). While there are sometimes threads that are shared, including literal prescience, the dream self “I am” cannot possibly be the “I am” of waking life. Many people cannot seem to grasp this at all despite how easy it is to understand with even minimal experience.

      There is an important factor that no one else would guess unless I revealed it. In addition to the rabbit being an indicator of my desire to return to deeper sleep, I also associated rabbits with being back home during the time of this dream, as my father ran a rabbit farm on our property. However, the rabbit is “escaping” from the schoolyard by going south, not north to where my home is in reality. However, “returning home” (to my bedroom) would otherwise be autosymbolic of the waking process, which is not my dream self’s directive, liminal or otherwise, thus I choose to direct the rabbit south, farther away from my real bed.

      One additional factor is that a rabbit typically kicks when picked up. The rabbit is within the liminal space divider, so this correlates with the hypnopompic kick that is a result of some waking transitions.

      This dream correlates with hundreds of other dreams that use the same processes. For example, in the “My Little Cane” series of dreams, also from childhood, I lucidly phased into the ground (into an oversized rabbit warren) as well as chanting “invisible, invisible” to avoid the waking transition of the preconscious. Once again, such dreams are related to the dream state itself, not waking life. To pretend waking life symbolism where it does not exist is the way of a fool, of which I am not. (After all, Alice did eventually wake and come to her senses. In fact, I had an “Alice in Wonderland” dream the day before this dream.)




      Updated 06-02-2018 at 03:38 PM by 1390

      Tags: fence, rabbit, singing
      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
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