a long night of dreaming, many wakings. + [semi-lucid] pseudo-wild, talking to my teammates telling them we should communicate only through telepathy, but once I say that I can't hear anything, even my own thoughts. + tennis, followed by a woman running through town throwing stones through store windows + in nature (on the Serengeti? Africa-like) I see an SUV parked in "my spot" [FALSE] by the tree, but it's also up to its windows deep in water. Very strange beasts emerge from the brush, shoot things at us? + [tiny lucid?] watch a strange ship thing with a Whiskey (?) advertisement on it shoot its top colors part into the sky far faster than waking physics would allow, causing me to do several nose pinch RCs, the results are ambiguous (sort of can, sort of can't breathe), I'm amazing following the rocket thing shooting across the sky. + wow! gorillas racing on jet skis, lookitthat! Zipping around town, see the odd house, talk to some guys about the fault line in town, I saw a fault line running through that house! A guy comes with a huge maul and stakes a large garbage can into the ground, then takes the maul and starts shaping/cutting some tall tree and I'm dodging to get out of the way of the chunks falling down. My son S2 comes to me with weed-bloodshot-eyes and I yell at him for getting high and slap him and he runs away I run after him I feel guilty about doing that and force my way into his room not letting him slam the door on me, he makes an excuse like "all of America's wars" and I say that's a lame excuse. + at the buffet? My friend is only ordering rock lobster, that will be expensive. It's sort of a large circular lobster and he's using a hand-crank lobster cracker. Then I'm helping him get at the meat in these large circular lobster cross sections, digging the meat way out from deep inside.
Morning of November 27, 2016. Sunday. I become aware of exploring isolated areas in my pretense as a biologist who works for the government. (This pretense is based on non-lucid dream control, as there is no lucidity, only the knowledge of making and controlling my world and my experiences.) I find myself on this journey with growing curiosity. I intend to remain friendly, enjoying new depths of exploration. In late morning, I wander into a dense cypress swamp of which has the appearance of the beautiful area I lived in in Florida when very young. There is an old wooden building on the bank of a river. An old unfamiliar black male lives here. I explain to him that I am getting samples of the water as well as samples of the flora and soil. He is cheerfully friendly, unsuspicious of me. Before I leave, I explain to him that our world is badly polluted, which surprises and concerns him. I pretend to conspiratorially catch myself in this “accidental” revelation and “stop myself from saying more”. (Non-lucid dream control is like simultaneously being an actor and director of a movie, with staunch pretense in scenarios, yet with no in-dream recall of what a dream is.) I soon find myself in Australia, without contemplating that one cannot quickly walk from Florida to inland Australia (and I do not recall teleporting). There is an unknown female who runs a refuge for wild animals in an isolated area. I explain the nature of my work to her as I conduct tests on several kangaroos that had been standing in a circle. I next find myself in an unknown man’s house. He has at least one son and daughter, both young. I apologize for my intrusion and explain that I am continuing to another location that can only be reached by way of a hidden door in his house. He trusts me and he and his children follow me into the area. It is a large bunker that had been built by the government. There is a laboratory and supposedly (at first) enough food to last for weeks. I look at the contents of a box of cereal. The multicolored cereal is unusual in appearance but tastes sweet. It resembles twigs of various colors with blue honeycomb-like football-shaped pieces. I look outside through large windows and see what I first think is Sydney Harbour. However, what I first perceive as the Sydney Opera House changes ambiguously into a lighthouse and then a hotel. I see several children, mostly boys, climbing over rocks on the shore, in front of the windows of the bunker. Even though the area appears to be open at this point (without an outer wall on this side of the bunker), I reason that it is a holographic projection that looks and feels like rocks but only from the outside (similar to the scene from “Star Trek: Insurrection”). As I am leaving, I look back and see the unknown man and his kids looking in cabinets under the laboratory counter. I now see that they are empty (even though they seemed full previously). I see that the man and his son are amused that the government apparently does not have the resources to stock this supposedly important bunker with weapons, laboratory equipment, or additional food and supplies. I do not feel embarrassment or concerned as I am on my way elsewhere. I next find myself in an unknown region near the ocean. I am with an unfamiliar male in our task force. We supposedly have a large motor yacht with a lot of special equipment. We are going to conduct tests on ocean life, including plankton. However, as I illogically set about to push what first seems like a large motor yacht into the water, it becomes a small skiff with no outboard. It quickly starts to sink. This annoys me and I try again by non-lucidly resetting my dream. I make at least three attempts, but I become frustrated. My pretense is no longer viable to non-lucidly continue my dream. The ocean begins to lower and starts to become the tiled floor of my Cubitis bedroom (where I have not been since 1978). My task force partner points out that they are making a movie of us, but our roles are being played by Bill Murray (as he appeared in “Ghostbusters”) and Alan Hale Jr. (as he appeared on “Gilligan’s Island”). They are fighting and rolling around under a bed and biting each other on the ear. This is supposed to be comedic and relevant to the movie’s plot. I wake as I am looking under the bed watching them bang their heads together. (There is a sense of bilocation; of being outside on a beach and within my Cubitis bedroom at the same time. As such, the area under my bed also has a vague essence of being under a low-set boardwalk.) Features and events of this long intriguing dream explained here: Dreaming process autosymbolism defined by: Unconsciousness personified as black male living by the river. Glymphatic system and immune system integratingly personified as my subconscious self (validated by the references to the river, government, pollution, and biology). Subliminal thread of my wife Zsuzsanna as unknown female at the animal refuge. Subliminal thread of my conscious self identity as man with children. Non-lucid dream control personified as Alan Hale Jr. Liminal space divider rendered as enigmatic window of bunker and shoreline simultaneously. (This is autosymbolism for my dream self’s subliminal recognition of the outside world of which is not aware of the existence of my dream self.) Waking process autosymbolism defined by: Preconscious personified as Bill Murray. Water lowering waking symbolism (very common). RAS modulation rendered as Alan Hale Jr. vs. Bill Murray. (Non-lucid dream control and otherwise sustained dream continuity modulated by consciousness reinitiation. Bill Murray is a regulatory “ghostbuster” modulating the illusion of the dream state by way of biological necessity to wake from the dream state.) Correlation of physicality as shrinking and sinking boat. (All primary singular vehicles; boats, cars, airplanes, etc. often represent correlation of physicality, in this case representing the potential “sinking” of my body into deeper sleep and thus of which is immediately followed by autosymbolic RAS modulation as the preconscious waking process.) Correlation of cortex activity as shoreline (liminal space divider) transmuting to “return” to bedroom (subliminal to liminal awareness of being asleep). I have always typified this element as a dream state indicator, as it is a literal factor, not autosymbolic. Liminal vestibular system correlation as ear biting. Abridgement and simplification for the casual reader on Thursday, 7 June 2018. Feel free to let me know when there is a dream thread or detail in an entry of mine of which you cannot correlate the autosymbolism’s cause or meaning. Thank you for reading. I wish you well.
Updated 11-20-2018 at 03:50 PM by 1390
27.11.2016 (MILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I woke up 5.5 hours into my sleep. I stayed up for 35 minutes then went back to bed and tried MILD/WILD. I had a hard time keeping awareness and eventually decided to just try to catch the moment I fall asleep (Catch the Butterfly/Free-Falling WILD, etc.) like I used to 4 years ago. Eventually I fell asleep but didn't retain awareness. I was in the dining room with my mom. I got up and walked towards the kitchen. Fiona was wagging her tail, Tonka lifted his head and looked at me. I was a little confused. I then realized Tonka was dead, so this was a dream. I turned around and told my mom I was dreaming! The dream destabilized and I was back in my bedroom. I did a RC and stabilized for a bit by rubbing my hands. I went downstairs, my head felt a bit heavy. I assumed it was night time due to it being dark. I made it a bit brighter and saw Tonka walking towards me. I lied on the the floor with him and he licked my face all over, like when he used to when we hadn't seen each other in a while. I pet him, hugged him, kissed him. His fur was damp and smelled of shampoo as if we had just showered him. He let me know (without talking) that he missed us. I wanted to get to the Deku Tree. I walked to the door and called him, he came over but he didn't want to step out. I tried pushing him but he wouldn't come out of the house. I had a few FAs in which I tried to manipulate the dream through a computer program, and was able to communicate with Carolina through telepathy. I then had a FA in which my RC failed and I continued on with a non-LD. It is nice seeing Tonka in my dreams, and he's starting to be somewhat of an obvious dreamsign for me. When we were putting him to sleep, as I lied next to him hugging him, I whispered in his ear "see you in my dreams", and so far we've been keeping that promise. I wonder why he never wants to leave home; it could be that that's what I remember of him during his last month of life where he preferred to stay home sleeping instead of going out for walks. Or, if you want a more spiritual approach, it could be that his soul is at home and does not want to leave. Either way, I need to start giving more priority to my other goals. I could try to summon him outside of home and see if that works.
In a work bathroom, I look in the mirror and see a youth with long straggly hair, wearing two ties Oo one red and black and the other blue. I am in to much of hurry to change and head into the bar, where some people are ordering sandwiches and pints of beer. I end up in a grassy area, it is partially sunny, more like fading sun of late afternoon. There are some stone benches outside the building, in the cold. I'm lucid and try and summon someone but it doesnt work, some women have appeared but they do not seem to be her. I use mind control on them but soon get bored with the clumsiness of it all. Again I try to summon her, this time the sky is filled with brightness and I find I am aerial again looking down on S who has been summoned. Her long blonde hair cascades down to her waist, she is in the form of half angel with big wings and half bird (eagle I guess) with long white tail feathers. She is flying towards the setting sun. And we are high up above the sea. The glittering makes everything seem like a giant stained glass window. Its all very captivating, as is she.
I had a bad night of sleep, so I didn't remember anything.
It is night, I’m an undercover cop in a white van which looks like an ambulance. My colleague is behind me. We park the vehicles near a bus stop. We get out of our vehicles. Every time a car pass us I run after to make them scare. I get in my colleague car and he takes the van. We go in different direction. I’m driving when suddenly I realize it’s a dream, my body start to float in the car. The car starts to levitate in the air at the level of the roof of the houses and I start to accelerate, while driving I ask the dream a personal question but no answer. When I stop I’m now on the edge of a very high purple mountain and in front of it there is a tunnel hangs in the air which is transparent. My friend joins me with his vehicle on the edge. So we go in the tunnel at a very high speed…
Updated 11-27-2016 at 07:38 AM by 80487
Goblok anjing I have arrived at my friend Andy's house at 2am. He's got a big house. I'm outside on the patio. It's dark outside. Andy isn't expecting me. I forgot for which purpose I came here. I'm also not sure anymore if I was willing to wake Andy up, or if I was going to have a look to see if he was still awake. There are 2 dogs on the patio. I assume them to be guard dogs, cause they start barking at me. They are both of a different breed, though I don't know which. One of them gets really close to me and is slightly frightening me. I know I should remain calm for the dog to be calm as well. The barking of the dog is starting to sound like words. It sounds as if (s)he is saying 'goblok anjing' [Indonesian swearwords]. I find it incredulous and fumble with my phone, which is old and slow, to get a video of it as proof. Meanwhile I hold my left hand out to keep the dog at bay a bit. It's got no respect for personal space. Eventually the dog takes my left hand into its mouth and starts biting lightly. I pull out. People start appearing from the house. Andy, other Andy, Rei.. Rei? What's he doing here? He tells me he is sleeping here. There's also a woman that I don't know. I explain the situation, which turns into social conversation. I tell Andy about his dog saying goblok anjing and he tells me he's aware of that. Someone looks at my (ring?) finger and discovers that there's a small wound on it from the dog. Damn. I have to go to the hospital. Well I don't need to go right away.. right? Prison I'm in prison. I think I'm in for smuggling drugs, though I got framed. I assume someone put something in my big backpack. I'm in together with Hafiz and Bryan. There's a desk with a dude behind it. It's from the embassy of their country. Damn. I would really like one of those for my country right about now. I know I'm innocent and so far prison hasn't been that bad actually, but still... Tornado I'm out with my friend San somewhere. We're in a city and it's raining quite hard. We're trying to get from one place to another, mostly trying to take a route that puts a roof over our head. This is not always possible. At some point I have a yolo moment and just dash out to the next spot. Eventually we're taking shelter somewhere and see a tornado passing by fast. Ok. Staying in. There's not being a little bitch and there's not being an idiot. It's amazing to me that I just saw this happen. The tornado eventually becomes quite small (a few metres) and starts to terrorise the area that we are occupying right now. Shower I'm in a room, which is supposed to be my room. I wanna take a shower, but my friend Linh is being annoying. My door can be opened quite easily, even when it's locked. He keeps on opening the door. Eventually Achmed walks by and.. idk. The scene changes a bit and it's now 3.. rugby (?) playing dudes who are in the same situation. Their coach walks by and the dude wanting to shower mentions the thing to the coach. I wonder how this is gonna go down. As expected, the coach expects his player to toughen up a bit. The scene has totally changed. There's some kind of dance routine going on I believe. The coach is lying down on the ground and has taken of his shirt, revealing a big beer belly and a very hairy body. He's shaved his upper body hair into the shape of a wifebeater. It looks slightly disturbing. Police I'm with Rei in the car. He just parked. Somehow I'm on the right side of the car and he is on the left side, even though he was driving. Either the steering wheel is on the wrong side or we're in the backseat now. I think the latter. A parking guy comes up to us asking for money. Rei gives it to him. Then there's a police officer with a tiny ugly mustache. He has a police id badge around his neck. He's asking for money too, but it's pure extortion. First he gets a bit of money, then he takes Rei's wallet out and takes IDR 100.000 from it. Damn. I've got my black backpack on my lap. Someone starts to open up my zipper to grab for my wallet. I wanna do something, but I can't really. The situation feels kinda rape-ish. I'm close to just handing my wallet over to end it, but the person can't find it and withdraws. Nice. We get out of the car and walk away, ready to cross the road. Rei gets called again by the cop, who wants more money. Rei tells me he stopped giving money cause he doesn't have that much. We start crossing the 2 lane road. Whoops, more traffic than I thought at first. We do make it safely to the other side. We come to the hostel, which is called Seven People Inn, but now has a temporary name sign, changing it to Five People Inn. Ah that means Tommie left? But what the hell? He was a guest. Are they gonna change the name every time they get new guests or they leave?
this dream was very real, and I have heavily attached emotions to this dream... I feel like I lived, and experienced it.... here it is, It was a bright sunny day, and me and my boyfriend tristen, we're having car troubles. We were in a run down gas station with his car broke down and I even remember the theme colors on the gas staion. Blue and yellow. Tristen told me he was going to find some help, because no one at the gas station was to be seen. We were in a very rural area. Just one intersection and the gas staion was on the corner of it. Both roads didn't seem to of led anywhere. So he just went down the road he saw a house on. He walked to this house, it was maybe a quarter/half mile away. I waited at the gas station for about an hour... I was getting worried at this point and thought I should go find tristen. Not to mention I was alil scared and eerie* and I felt in danger. After about 20 minutes contimplating what to do or just hoping I'd see Tristen walking back. I made the decision to go to the house he was going to. As I got closer to the house, I saw 8 people out on the front yard, it also had a very long driveway. There were 2 young kids. One little girl about age 6 (I assume) and her brother, which was about age 10. There were 5 grown men sitting on the picnic table in front of the house. The house was a very beaten up trailer. And then... there was "The Man".. this man was the 'leader' or, for better words, the father. He was the authority of that whole group of people. He had a medium sized lumber jack beard with a beaten up dirty T-shirt and highly intoxicated. I appoach the people and I already knew I wasn't going to leave. They all looked at me like a piece of meat. The kids stood back intimidated and worried. I approached The Man and said, "have you seen my boyfriend? Hes has blonde hair, blue eyes.. hes said he was going to come here for help? can I please use your phone to call a tow truck? We're stranded and I don't know where I am. Where am I?" He looks at me with a grin... a disgusting grin. "No," he replies. "You're not going anywhere." Angerly. Once he said that I felt my heart sink to my bum. All my bad feelings/intuitions were going to be right.. I took a step back, looking at him scared for my life. "It's okay little girl, sit down." He said. I slowly sit down. He asks me "So do you have a cell phone?". I did have my phone but the service wouldn't work. I could call 911 If I just got one bar. So I replied, "No.. but I should go look for my boyfriend he's been missing for over 2 hours."and he strikes back, violently standing up from the picnic table "I fucking told you, you little bitch, you aren't going anywhere. Just like your poor poor boyfriend hahaha." At this moment I KNEW I wouldn't be able to leave... I pissed him off... he now just told me what he's was trying to not tell me... that he had my boyfriend and he wasn't okay..I say "please! don't hurt him! please just let us go! we just wanted help! We didn't mean to disrupt you!! I didn't see anything I promise!" The Man replies snickering in immusment, " you really think I'd let you leave bitch." He puches me in the jaw and knocked me out.. now I've been knocked out before and I know what it feels like.. and in this dream I really felt like I was knocked out... it was so surreal. Anyways, I wake up in this room that had actual car seats surrounding the walls of the room. I saw an old dog that looked like he was on his last leg (about to died soon). The walls looked like there was black mold on them. Black patches all over the walls. The smell is so vivid too, it smelt of dog urine and feces along with visual poop and pee stains. There was baby girl clothes strung out all over the dark green carpet. to my left behind me was a closet... I get up and start frantically searching for Tristen. I got to the closet and moved around so clothes on the floor and I see Tristen huddled up in this secret compartment joining the room next to this one. I tell him "it's okay baby! I'm here! We'll get out of this!! I have my phone!" Tristen looks up at me and says defeated "you shouldn't of came here... he's going to know you have your phone..." I look at him with shock, because he really didn't look happy or relieved to see me, not even in the slightest. He seemed defeated. Not long after he had told me I "shouldn't of came here", I heard footsteps coming closer, and closer. I quickly went back to were I was last positioned before I woke up and proceeded to pretend like I was still knocked out. The Man walked into the room and said, "hey little girl," in a sweet tone, "get up, I know your awake." At this point I know he's smarter than me... like it was a plan almost... an unexpected plan, A fantasy coming true. So I rise up and he grabs my arms and starts shaking me and screaming things I couldn't understand, because I was so scared all I was thinking about was, I'm going to die here in this room. He let go of me and "collected" himself. Then he got really close to my face and said, "do you have a cell phone?" Tristen, right now, is now outside the closet and he must not be able to move very well cuz I saw him struggling to get up. He wanted him to stop. I replied to The Man, "no... " I look at Tristen and he nods to me, indicating he knows and to give it up. The Man raises his eyebrow just starred at me like he was thinking of all the sick things he'd do to me... but also saw him getting more and more pissed. I tell The Man "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Here take it! Please just let us go!" The Man then replied "oohh.. you naughty little girl." In a sexual tone. The Man's face turned to sick and twisted and amused, to straight anger and resentment. I grabs my arm very tightly. I could almost feel my arm bruising. he drags me out to the front yard and in the mean time he ordered one of the men sitting at the picnic table to grab Tristen. The Man said very Angerly, "kids come now!!! Line up!!! We have a liar here!" He lines me and the two kids up side by side while my boyfriend watchs. He grabs a cigar cutter from the bare picnic table and proceeds to go down the line, forcing the kids to stick their finger in the cutter. He didn't cut their finger off.. seemed as if it was a scare tactic. He gets to me and he smiles with such satisfaction, and says "you know what we do to liars in this house?"... I reply, "...n-n-no.."* He grabs my ring finger and shoves it in the cigar cutter and says "well you will now." He cuts my finger off. I swear to God I've never felt such pain before in my life. I held my nub of a finger and I tried covering up the wound. It was so so sooo surreal, my hand was shaking, and it looked so realistic. He then took us back to that same disgusting room. He threw me to the ground and I just remember shaking and my body's adrenaline, I was in panic. I look at Tristen I tell him, "we are getting out of this place tonight." There was 1 small window. We could fit through it if we tried.. everything was pretty quiet after that. The Night set in and I knew if i didn't do this correctly then I was going to get us killed. The window was nail shut. I though if I could just get those nails out, we could actually do this. I started to wiggle out a nail that wasnt in all the way and once I got it out I used it to take the other ones. Once all the nails were out, I look at tristen, nod, and he knew it was time. I very very verrryyyyy slowly lifted the window up. Less then centemeters at a time. Finally after about 20 minutes I got the window open.. I tell tristen to go first so I know that he is safe.. we made a plan to run as far as we could in the other direction of the house. Tristen makes it out of the window okay and I quickly followed. Everything seemed so real.. I could remember smells, touches, tastes, and vivid voices. We both made it out safe. All I remember is running and running and being so out of breath. then all the suddenly I woke up. Sweating, crying, heart racing* (like just ran a mile) and confused as to where I was.
Updated 11-27-2016 at 06:02 AM by 92179
Lately, I've been having dreams involving embracing, kissing, and affection, mainly with women whom i cannot put a name to. I'm mainly thankful that these dreams do not seem to involve me ex, as my feelings for her remain strong and difficult to deal with. However, a dream that took place the other night stood out to me. I find myself in a strange building with many windows, accompanied by this girl I've been seeing lately. There are things that happen in this dream, but I cannot remember most of them. But I do vividly remember a particular instance, similar to how I remember things from my childhood. A girl who attended my high school makes an appearance. I always sensed that she liked me in high school, but I never made a move. In the dream, there seems to be a mutual level of attraction between us. We kiss in a room that has windows and is visible from another part of the house. Afterwards, I immediately am with the other girl I've been seeing in real life, and she confronts me about kissing the girl from my high school. I can't remember what I said, but whatever it was convinced her that my kissing this other girl was not a big deal, and she quickly forgives me. We embrace, and all between us seems okay. That is all I can remember. It seems as though I've been having dreams like this every night. Last night I was in an absurd situation with a blonde girl at a dinner table. I know there was a lot more to this one, but as usual, I cannot remember. I can't say that I do not enjoy these dreams, but I fear that soon my ex lover will enter them. If that occurs, I imagine I'd wake up with such pain and find myself in tears.
26.11.2016 (MILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I woke up 6 hours into my sleep and stayed up for 25 minutes. I went back to bed and tried WILD/MILD. I kept waking up fully after noticing that I was about to start a dream. Eventually I fell asleep into a non-LD I was crying in a corner, I was really sad about something, couldn’t remember what it was I was sad about. Scene skips, I’m in a beach. A girl talks to me and tells me to come surfing with her. A huge wave washed her board away. I jump in and start swimming against the waves to recover it, but the waves are too strong. Suddenly I start getting stung by jellyfish. They are everywhere. I swim back to shore, get stung a few more times. The girl is wearing a red bikini, she has a really hot body. She has shoulder length smooth, pitch black hair, dark brown eyes, light skin but with a bit of a tan, beautiful smile, and a small mole on her cheek. I turn around and see a huge wave breaking right behind me, we get pushed towards the shore. The beach is flooding and we are required to leave and go inside a building. The building has huge glass panels and sun is shining in. The floors are white marble; people are in a rush. I try looking for this girl, I want to find out more about her. Suddenly I remember I am dreaming. I stand against a pillar and watch the DCs walk back and forth as if they are late for work. Everything looks so real. I plug my nose and confirm I am dreaming.I feel like I’m drooling and wake up. I stay still for a minute and then stand up. I do a RC, I am dreaming. I have no vision, I feel the carpet and make my way to the door, hoping to get vision soon. I wake up again. I stay still, and I feel as if my head is sliding forwards on the bed. I stand up again, do a RC. I am back at the building, looking for her. I wake up, look at the time, do a RC, I am awake. I switch positions and go back to sleep. I am at a beach with my family. We are on an inflatable deck, drinking. I am with my brother, his wife, my cousin, her boyfriend, a couple of friends, and the girl from the previous dream. Her name is… Tabatha?.. my brother gets a few drinks from the swim-up bar. I ask Tabatha if she’d like a drink and smiles. My brother’s wife says we make a cute couple. Dream skips, I am with Tabatha on shore. We are speaking in Spanish, she has a Venezuelan accent. She has to go back to the hotel soon and get ready as she is grabbing a plane later that day. I am sad she is leaving, but we have fun at the beach. Dream skips. I’m driving her to the airport, I ask her where she’s from. She says the name of a town I’m not familiar with, but it also means something dirty, we laugh. I drop her off and we kiss. I'm always amazed by how our brains can make up such a well-rounded character and bring them to life in dreams. I felt a little bad about the fact that it didn't cross my mind once that I have a gf, but then, it was a dream lol. I'm a little frustrated that the past 3 or 4 lucid dreams have all been fairly short, to the point where it feels that I am in a long dry-spell, but I guess that's better than nothing.
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