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January 22, 2010

Synopsis: I transform the hypnagogic imagery of work into a VILD

Night Time Note: I went to sleep at 3am. My abstract dream of the night involved a funny slot machine that had a built in chat room and forum. It was in the back room of work, and I remember 'H' was also using it. I played one of the slot machine games and won $20. When the machine spat out my $20, it got all dirty with mashed potatoes. The telephone then wakes me up around 7am.

I try to go back to sleep, this time to VILD. My biggest problem was everyone was ruining my morning! Sis kept making noises, kitty kept wanting to go in and out of my room. It wouldn't be until almost 9am until theres enough peace and quiet.


My half VILD
Well maybe being up for almost two hours helped me this time around. Because after nearly two years, I was finally able for the first time to focus on my HI. Rather than deciding to take charge and create my own dream scenery, because that hasn't worked lately, I just let what ever my mind imagined surface. And now I can see why imagining my own dream scene hasn't worked! All of my HI, all of it, was work (art supplies) related! At first there were simple things. A pencil. A sharpener. Every time the image would surface I would say in my head "pencil" or "sharpener". This kept me awake, and allowed the HI to develop more.

I started to see more and more and more of work. And I tried to interact with the HI. Like holding the art supplies in my hands. Yes, it was boring work. But I actually welcomed it. I've been down this route before so I know transforming the work-HI into a dream is actually pretty easy. I welcomed it! I imagined costumers with baskets. Then I tossed the baskets, and tossed all the items of the basket, and put the basket back on top of the costumers head - and sent them on their merry way.

BEEP! I heard my first HI noise! It's the sound of items being rung. Ugh..not pleasant, but it's something. Then I heard the crumbling of paper. It sounded so real I almost lost my HI completely. Focusing back on work I was able to repeat the sound of crumbling paper. Soon I heard familiar voices, the gruntings of my boss 'J'. Really, I'm excited! It's been so long since I've been able to hold onto an HI like this!

I'm able to sort of move around in my environment, check out the aisles a bit. Now that I've gone through the images of work, my HI begins to change. I can imagine my own bedroom now. I can even go up to a mirror, and examine myself. Hoping that staring at my own reflection can somehow induce the dream state. My body is starting to feel heavy, though I wish the sensations of my body would completely go away. There are random dream characters now. I can talk to them.

I go outside to a parking lot, and I can see some trees in the distance. But I can't fly yet. I can still barely move around and keep this whole thing stable. So I try to feel the asphalt, but I still have no sensation of touch. Unable to do much outside, I go back inside to my bedroom, to stare at the mirror again. The image of a strange girl flashes in front of me. "Are you my subconscious?". The mirror responds with coloring itself with random splotches of paint. I ask another dream character if she was my subconscious. She smiles and says something I can't remember. And just when I think I'm about to enter the dream state, I wake up.

It's 10am now. I think my REM period is over . If only I hadn't lost those two hours just tossing and turning I might have taken my VILD attempt much farther!

★★★★

I have tunnels written down... but no recollection of it. That and four other fragments flashed to mind also with no real memory.

Lucid in a trashed house.

All i remember is the sensation I was dreaming at first. Then I sat up in bed in a dark room. i looked at my left hand and had five fingers, pulled it away and back and now i had seven fingers but smaller. I pulled away once more and back again. I had a large finger on one side and about ten others which gradually decreased in size across the spectrum of my hand. I flexed my hand and made a fist. Physically, I felt only five fingers flex, but watched the other fingers flex. It's as if the image i saw of my hand was super imposed over my dream body's physical five fingers. interesting.

I looked around the room a bit. It was dark, but there were many interesting glow in the dark thingies on the wall. All shining with a bright green. It looked rather cool. The glow in the dark effect was much better than waking life glow in the dark stuff. Anyway, I get out of bed and leave the bedroom. when I open the door all I can see is rubble. From the bottom half of the wall and up is entirely gone... leaving a few scraps. what was a hallway is now a path. I see a door frame that leads to the entrance to the house. I walk towards it but find i am blocked by a wire mesh rubble pile.

I think. "no way this is my inner world... better get to my real inner world." I turn around and head back to the bedroom door (only the bedroom seemed to stand). but then I have a FA somewhere else.



FA


FA in the middle of the street. I am talking to my dad who's driving by in a car.

Grandma WTF

I am talking to my grandma and she says "Robert it's time for you to move to edmonton and live with my niece."

Stupid cat

i'm back at the rubble house sitting in what was a hallway. A black cat comes and sits on my lap. I am about to pet it when it arches it's back like it's going to take a crap. Well not on my lap.. so I pull it up and throw it back to the floor. It gets on my lap again and tries the same thing. I hold it and try to put it somewhere where it can't get to me. it threatens to scratch if I throw it again. so i just hold it to the floor while it does it's thing.

Synth WTF?!?!?!?

i'm outside on the same street with the smashed house. some kids are hanging out by some truck. they say they have awesome new instruments for sale. All i see is a bag of liquefied reece's pieces. I depress a part of the bag and suddenly I hear a vivid sound of a synth keyboard. I think it's cool. I tap the bag again and figure out some notes. So i start playing some synth vivaldi. Then the bag breaks and the liquid crap starts leaking everywhere.

That 70's show

i'm watching TV. I can see all the actors from That 70's show. Red is sitting in a chair reading a newspaper. He says "these kids and their damn birds" The camera zooms out and the living room is filled with all these bird cages filled with all sorts of birds. The mother's head is severed and is up on a stick that stands by itself. But the head of the mother starts talking and joking with red. I think "this is the only good episode of 'That 70's Show' I have ever seen."

It is late in the night and their is no moon. I am wandering through some abandoned warehouses that have the floors ripped up. It lookes as if their is an excavation going on because there are deep pits and excavation tools laying around, but the building is dark and there is no one around. I wanter outside and come to a platform beside some train tracks. I don't know if the tracks are in use because they look old and are over grown with grass and stuff but a small train does arrive and I get on one of the passenger cars. All of the cars of the train are open to the outside or are roofless, more like tram cars or something.

The train doesn't go very far and stops in front of what looks like a college or university. I get off and wander around the building and note that despite it being the middle of the night, there are many students and people around. I find my way inside and realize that no one can see me. I look down at myself and I am transparent like a ghost. I suddenly realize that I am dead and remember that I was murdered not long ago and I want someone to find my body so I can be at peace.

There is a commotion with several of the students and they rush inside of the building. I follow them to the expansive library where many people have gathered and are watching a news report about the bodies of hundreds of murdered students being found in mass graves in a swampy area not far away. The police are unable to explain how so many students could go missing and be murdered without any evidence of who is behind it. Everyone on campus fears that a serial killer is on the loose and many people are afraid to leave the school grounds.

While I do not become aware that I am in a dream and am able to consciously control my actions and I start to fly. I move through the walls of the college and high up into the air. I come to a beach along a river where there is a pink radio station with a large antena a top of it. Anong the beach are power line towers that are oversized and take up much of the space along the beach. There is a helicopter circling the radio tower while trying to dodge the over sized electrical towers. The copter is using its search light to scan the beach and the people who have gathered on it as well as the radio building itself. I can hear people on the beach saying that they think the killer is nearby or something.


I follow the river and come to a lake where there are many coast guard boats transporting bodies found in the swamp on the other side of the lake. There are many police officers and heavy earth moving equipment. There are many hole in the ground and open graves where bodies have been found. Some of the bodies have been loaded into the back of trucks or onto boats for transport to the police station (or morgue or whatever).

I cannot see nor sense my body anywhere so I fly back to the college and it has changed shape. It now looks like an old medieval castle with two circular towers on the outside and a courtyard in the middle, though it is still being used as a school. I fly inside on of the towers and find a young man sitting alone trying to meditate. I try to get his attention by moving things around the room like pushing a chair and blowing papers off a desk, but the young man is so deep in concentration that he does not notice. I fly through the walls of the building to the other tower on the other side. It is a conference room of sorts and many people have gathered to discuss the murders and watch updates on a tv.

Again I try to get people's attention by moving stuff around and while people notice the unusual happenings, still no one can see me. A few people do acknowledge that there is a ghost in the room but someone points out that is obvious because off the mass murders taking place.
I try to get people's attention some more but the dream eventually fades and I never find my body.

In my dream i was laying on my garage roof, just hanging out.. which is odd because in reality i have never been on my garage roof lol and i was looking down at the front yard, when i seen a huge bird type thing.. Its not a real creature in reality, it looked something like 'buckbeak' from the harry potter movie only it didn't have horse legs, it just had 2 legs, and talons. It reminded me of a pheonix, but had a shorter neck and was fury, not really feathery
It looked right at me. It was goldish brown with yellow spots by it's neck and it had gold colored eyes. It knelt down, and lowered itself like it wanted me climb on it's back or something.
At this point i knew i was dreaming, and thought 'eh what the heck, i'll ride it'
So i got on it's back and, right where shoulder blades would be (on a bird i guess) there were pouches, like kangaroo pouches that i had to put my arms in to hold on (instead of any reins or anything) and i remember flying up really high..
don't remember much after that, but i think i will definitly remember this dream for several years, it was so vivid; and random.

I attached some pictures of what the bird kind of looked like (looked a lot like this bird from harry potter, only it it only had 2 legs.)

Attached Thumbnails

   

17.06.2010

06.17.2010 (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Morning

So this morning was very strange. I actually woke up before my alarm. (that is strange because I used a mantra "I will anticipate my alarm and wake up before it." This was the first night that I did this and I think it actually worked. The strange thing about it though is that when I woke up, I look out my window, and it was light out. At 4:30 in the morning, I don't think that is supposed to happen.

Anyways, when my alarm went off at 5:30, I turned it off, didn't remember anything from my dreams, and just kinda sat there. I was in my boxers and it was too cold for me to get up, so I didn't do that. I easily fell asleep unintentionally, and that was it.

When I woke up for school, and I went into the shower, I remembered a few little fragments, and from those I was able to remember larger pieces. This is what I can remember:

I was on my school yard, which actually wasn't a yard, it was a large body of water at least 8 feet deep. The water was greenish, and looked kind of dirty, yet everyone was enjoying it. And it was like the ground was dug out 8 feet, because the doors to go inside were still above the level of the waterline. I was in the alcove, and I was in my bathing suit and scuba gear. A few of my friends were pointing to a large shipwreck-looking thing, and saying that there was a Great White shark inside of it. I swam over and looked inside. I could see it, but it was only about two feet long. The asked if I could get it out because they wanted to see it, so I tried poking it with a stick, but it didn't come out. At that moment, I really had to pee. So I swam over to a nearby teacher and asked for a hall pass.

As I got inside, all the water started to drip off of me. I could hear Mr. Sousa yelling at a student as usual. I walked into Mrs. Caetano's class which seemed a LOT bigger. She was busy lecturing a student, as always. I walked to my left and walked into the bathroom. (That class doesn't have a bathroom) As I unzipped, I noticed the toilet was... strange. It didn't have a part where you sat down, and the lid was more like a urinal. I started to pee, and looked around the room. The walls were turqouise at the top, and white at the bottom, and they were seperated by this wooden moulding, I guess you would call it. As my gaze shifted to the mirror, I noticed a little black child slowly opening the door and looking at me! I quickly covered my shlong and asked the boy what he was doing. He told me, "When I was younger, I had a dog like that." I was completely confused. There was no dog in the room, and I hoped he wasn't talking about my tool...

That's all I can really remember for that dream. I remember a little bit from another one.

I was in a desert city. The wind was blowing the sand all over the place. I was older, and in a military outfit, like a soldier on patrol. I heard bullets whiz past my head, and quickly hugged the wall and looked ahead of me. There was a middle-eastern man there with a gun pointed at me. I swiftly aimed my gun at him and emptied a few rounds. The man fell down, dead. I continued forward alone. I came to what was like the bottom of a bridge, but still in the city. The wall had a gap, and one bridge support was on the ground. I ran to the bridge support and hid behind it. A shootout began, at the other side of the support, another middle-eastern man was shooting at me. Bullets flew back and forth for what seemed like forever. Finally, I gathered the courage to pull out my pistol with a knife, and run of to the guy, and stab him. He was on the ground, injured before I got to him.

That's all I remember. A BIG difference in recall from yesterday.


Before Bed

I won't be trying anything special tonight, just the usual things that I have previously done.

Woo, this marks my first return to DV since... Forever. I kinda lost focus on this whole thing, but now that I'm graduating high school and will have nothing to do for quite some time, I'm gonna get back on and try to achieve that elusive LD...

Anyway, this is my FIRST dream journal (thank God there's something to remember)! All names are altered to protect the identities of those involved (this one was about real people in my life).

Morning of Thursday, June 17, 2010

My memory of the dream begins at a party in an empty yellow room. I think I remember one window. There are people from choir there. I am talking to Mr. Shuester. I can’t remember if I’m finished or she interrupts me, but Rebekah kisses me.

I take her to a dark room. She climbs on top of me and tries to make out. I interrupt her. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I’m thinking of her ex, Steve, or maybe some other boyfriend she might’ve just broken up with. I can’t remember what she says. She kisses me again. I think I get up at that point. We are in the room for a short period of time, I can’t remember what we’re doing, but not having sex. Most likely talking. I have a vague memory of someone showing up who wasn’t there before, and didn’t belong there. We leave. On the way out, I kiss her one last time.

I return to the party and suddenly, it’s a house on a fake looking beach. I look in the backyard and there are aliens who want to kill humans. They speak. I can’t remember what they say exactly, but it’s something about another alien who should be here. I see humans talking to the aliens. I realize it’s the set of a movie.

There is an oddly fake looking ocean that stretches out from a concrete beach into the horizon. I don’t realize at first that it’s fake. At some point I realize it is and ask Mr. Shuester, “In real life, how big is that ocean?” He says “It ends at about that shadow right there.” I realize that the whole movie set is built on a stage, and I’m seeing it as if all the missing elements were green-screened in. The mountain I focus on in the distance is most likely the tech room, or maybe the spotlight.

Suddenly, I see it for the set it is. It was bright before, now it’s dark. The aliens are replaced by regular actors, and I start to recognize friends of mine who are also acting in the movie. We start to rehearse. I’m backstage with four or five people (two I can remember are Kate and John). We are supposed to walk out on stage at the appropriate time. We all miss our cues and scramble out on stage at the same time. John trips and exclaims that he lost his camera.

This is where the dream ends.

I wake up at 5 in the morning, very depressed, and I want to see Rebekah..

This isn't the first dream to disturb me recently. But I can still feel it. Last night, I dreamed about a man stabbing me.
It started with myself and a few other people at a cabin. The dream skipped to that night when the man was picking us off one by on, killing us with a knife. While i was running, I ran past a door as he was coming out of it. I screamed, and the next thing I saw, I was on my back with the man over top of me. He gently kissed me, and as he did, i felt him drive the knife into my heart.
When i woke up, I had the feeling of the knife on my chest.... These dreams are really starting to bother me...

June 10-11, 2010.

Finally, my dry spell is over! Last night, before bed, I drank a glass of apple juice. Also in a WBTB, I drank more apple juice. The AJ finally solved my problems!
Here are the results:

1st Dream: I dreamt that I was at my house. My little brother was on our trampoline, and this man walked up, so he got off and walked around casually. We were freaking out because the man got on our trampoline. He was wearing a firefighter jacket and he looked like he was in his 40's. Anyways, the guy started talking to my little brother. I could tell he was scared. So me and my 2 sisters started to sneak around the back of my house to hear what they said. Since the guy was creepy, we motioned for my brother to come in. He said, "I have to go now." And the man said okay, but he was still on our trampoline. So we all came back in the house. Then somebody knocked on our door, we opened it, and two guys that were husbands of the bridesmaids from a previous wedding we attended, came in with 6 women following behind. They came and talked to us, and they were smiling. Then I woke up.

2nd dream:

This one has some fragments.
So I remember a part where my little brother T was caught on some string tied to a banister, which was up WAY high. He was crying so much, that he was getting sick on himself. My dad, mom, sister, and I were trying to get him untied. My dad said, "Let go of the string so you won't fall!" But then he started crying even more. So he let go of the string, and my dad held onto him, and pulled him back in. The he quietly gave a sigh of relief, "I love you daddy."
Very touching.

---

This whole time we were in a humongous ship or building. I was running around with a girl who seemed to be my friend. We ran back to the bathrooms, and accidentally walked in to the President of the United State's private room! So we rushed out quickly, and came to some lounging place. It had like a giant coffee maker and an ice cream machine, and a whipped cream dispenser. It had tons of food out, like a buffet. So we looked for the bathrooms. There was a whole bathroom for PETS. We finally came to ours. I can't remember what it looked like.

---

At the last part of the dream, we heard this speaker person say over the loud speakers, "You have 1 minute." So my friend and I rushed to the bathroom, went and grabbed our families, and headed for the door. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Thank you. We hope you enjoyed your stay here." We were just at the door when I woke up.
(It was odd, because this dream wasn't similar to a lot of my others.)

NOTES

Raven and I go to help my friend Alex with an astral demon making her have nightmares.

"Sleep, child, sleep."

Cold blue breath.

I attack it savagely.

Raven binds it in black ice.

I interrogate it.

It says its on a mission to destroy Mother Witch.

I morph into a tree were-cat.

Raven: What are you doing?

I am trying to find my dream self.

MoSh: Just focus man! You are all right here.

No! I am all over the universe!

MoSh: Just focus on the you that is here, right here, right now.

Tigress: Fun tree!

She turns into a cat and climbs me. Hi kitty!

Raven: Hey, we have a mission!

I have to be a tree first.

(eye roll)

STOPPIT STOP CHASING ME YOU ASSHOLE.

There is a mirror chasing me, with an image of my Nightmare Monster self in it.

I run down a beach and get to a gate in a seawall. I become liquid and smoosh through. I summon a huge hammer. I smash the gate, and then smash the mirror. I smash every piece into tinier and tinier bits.

The Atom grabs my arm.

Stop! Focus your perception. This is unnecessary. Dream about whatever you want.

The clouds look lovely. I float up to a cloud and lie down on it. Women in togas feed me grapes. I turn into a rainbow dragon, and fly in spirals around the clouds. Yaay!

I am at dinner with Vegeta and his family. He slaps his wife.

You fool! What does it take for you to see this is all illusion? I would never do such a thing.

Vegeta slaps me. Now let us be on the same playing field.

Vegeta and I have an illusion battle. I am utterly confused.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?

Close your eyes, apprentice. See my energy through your eyelids. That is all.

I obey. AHA! You are the glowing energy orb person!

Yes. Now, attack.

I attack the orb, and it attacks back. All I can see is vague shapes through black.

Then Vegeta attacks with mental barrage.

What do you think you are doing you worthless piece of shit for brains in school i ate your for breakfast oatmeal wandering through time gods wailing for nothing upsetting universal soul squeamish blood churns rot dead babies in the pot green glush moosh moosh looboo new

I can't think straight. I create a shield over my third eye.

NOW YOU ARE BLIND, YOU IDIOT. TRY AGAIN.

I morph his voice in my head into white noise. I detect a wavelength in it. I follow the wave to his soul and punch it as hard as I can.

He goes flying backward.

AH, NOW YOU ARE FINALLY LEARNING. NOW GO TRAIN IN 100X EARTH GRAVITY.

I am a type of spider-man. I am in a lab. I make a potion, and drink it. I am Spider-HULK. HULK SMASH.

I smash the lab. I walk up stairs. I am in a castle dungeon. I smash it from the inside. Spidey SMASH. SMASH SMASH SMASH.

I eat some trees in the forest. I feel sick. Spidey-Hulk puke in the river. Sorry river. I fall asleep and dream I am a winged rabbit. I wake up, and am a winged rabbit. Hulk confused! I am a winged spider-hulk rabbit.

I shot web out of my shoulder. I like trains. I bend train tracks to me. I eat trains. Trains taste like sausage. Why? Is the people meat?

Sprabbit0Mulk confused!

I jump to Moon!

Uh... Nomad? Nate? What's wrong with you?

I smash my head with my hand. A little worm comes out of my ear. It starts talking to me. I step on it.

That thing made confused, Raven. Ah! It's in my foot! SHIT GOING UP MY LEG TO BRAIN TO AAAH! SMASH MOON!

I shot web around moon! I spin moon around like hammer toss! Go moon go into other dimension! No Moon! I am Moon! I am planet Moon!

Nomad, stop messing around! We have a mission!

I am my boy self playing with action figures in the mud by the koi pond.

What? Huh? Oh, I had the strangest dream, Raven.

You were talking in your sleep.

Oh. Weird! Are we dreaming?

Yes! Let's go.

16.06.2010

110: 6.16.10; 9:52AM BREAKING NEWS: Police Arrest Off-Duty Officer, and the Minotaur is Dead! (MILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I had a rather lengthy lucid dream, of which I will relay two parts to ensure the details I provide are accurate and interesting.

I was at the end of my driveway (a recurring location in my dreams), and saw three police trucks speeding on the road, coming to a fast stop in front of my driveway gate, lights flashing in the warm daylight, arranged in such a way as to surround a black SUV, now stopped along with the police vehicles on the road. The police got out of their vehicles with shotguns drawn and aimed at the SUV. I put up my hands to show that I was there and didn't intend to interfere, but figured that as I was standing next to my gate behind a couple trees, I really didn't need to have my hands up like the man who was exiting the SUV, and stepped a little behind my gate to watch the events unfold.

The man stepped out of the SUV, a well-built man with dark clothing and a shaved head - certainly not a person to be screwing around with. His hands were still up as he got to the hood of his car and leaned over it, as the cops wanted. One of the officers drew a rifle that resembled the shotguns the others had, and shot the man in the chest three or four times. He fell to the pavement with no visible wounds, leading me to the conclusion that it was a kind of stungun, with non-piercing rounds.

The officers surrounded him, allowing just enough visibility of the man for me to see that he himself was wearing a dark blue jacket with police patches all over the sleeves and shoulders. I figured I'd see it in the next day's newspaper, seeing as he was an off-duty officer who's arrest I'd just witnessed. One officer looked over at me and said something, which I only took to mean that they were okay with me standing there close by, watching. They took the man away and the dream transitioned.


A while later into my dream, I was in an all-wooden room on a structure made of poles, almost like bamboo coloured a rich brown. I wasn't alone within this structure - I was fighting a minotaur. Yes, I know, it's awesome! This minotaur was a giant, agile skeleton with great horns affixed to the skull, with one nasty temper. He knew the structure well, a multi-level scaffold with no walls, since the structure was encased in an enormous and tall room.

He wasn't at all shy about flaunting his knowledge of the room's layout. He expertly raced about each level to get to me, forcing me to find ways to move up to higher levels to stay at least one floor away from the skeletal beast. My movement took me to a very high level of the structure, achieved by flying with my signature arms-shot-straight-up flying method through square holes I found in each level's floor, almost as if there was supposed to be a ladder for each, and of course, the minotaur was close below me. I knew what I could do at this point to stop him once and for good, and I let him reach my level.

He reached this floor quickly, and stared me down with a nasty smile - well, as much as a skeletal minotaur's human-shaped skull could muster - and proceeded to approach me with a slow walk. He was visibly smaller than his regular size, now matching my height. I would use this to my advantage: I drew him closer to me, and positioned myself behind the square hole in the floor, watching the minotaur walk toward me in a perfect linear fashion. He stepped into the hole and slipped down, both feet first.

I leaned over the hole and watched with a smile as the (relatively) miniature skeleton fell several stories to the floor and crash-landed on his back. Upon impact he returned to his full and giant size, leaving only his chest and skull (with those giant horns, now coloured rich brown like the wood surrounding me) visible from where I stood. I believe I saw some bones flying off him when he'd smashed into the floor, but he appeared now to be a perfect, flawless, unmoving skeleton. With horns.

Note: This was another lucid dream induced through simply requesting to have one prior to going to sleep. Is this enough to call it a MILD, even without RCs?

09.06.2010

109: 6.9.10; 12:00PM Miscellaneous Mischief from Clyde, Revisited. (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I dreamed I was going to hang out with some guy, but found I'd have to run through a garden to get to him. I jumped and floated, and got lucid all at once. I took the opportunity to float over a truck in the garden. I met up with the guy, and killed him by whipping knives at him. I ran through the garden and found a paper I'd written for school - which I promptly set on fire. I found myself singing a little and enjoying it a great deal, and wanted to put myself onstage with Protest the Hero. However, things went blurry and I went into a false awakening.