Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am pretending to be an alien, for some reason. I am wearing prosthetics in my body, which I feel that won't fool anyone, but as long I keep serious about it, people are believing me.

Living at my mom's with other people. It is a dystopian world, no rule of law, people self-organize, but we have managed to cope. Until someone passing by shows us we should be leaving now and join a bigger community as the gangs who pillage are coming our way and will burn everything. I agree and start choosing what's essential to take, but end up caught up by attachment to all secondary stuff, because I can't stand imagining it all going up in flames. But there is no way I can take 90% of the stuff with me.

At my paternal grandma's house with my mom. We wake up early morning hearing voices, it's some cousins who arrived and joined us. But although their faces are familiar, I have no idea who they are. At breakfast the group has grown with some 4 more family members, uncles and aunts I have no idea who they are. They all behave very at ease around the breakfast table, leaving a lot of dirty dishes and eating my food without any care, but they supposedly are family and I try to keep it cool.

At some hotel or hostel during some Buddhist teachings I am attending. A couple of Asian guys knocks on my door. One is a big guy and looks Chinese. He hands me an envelope, but it is already open. It contains some money and a letter from my teacher, but clearly all pages are out of order and I wonder if the money is all there. I get rally mad that the guys opened the letter. I start reading it and despite the calligraphy I can actually understand but with the effort to concentrate on what it says, I wake up.

Morning of December 19, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,993-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 61.



My imaginary dream self, in subliminal mode, minus waking life identity without a viable link to my unconscious mind, is placed on the second floor of a new version of the King Street mansion in La Crosse, the city where I have not been since February 1994. The fictitious situation implies that I am living in the northeast room, the room with the turret windows.

I find an Australian 50-dollar bill in my wallet. Seeing it does not activate realization of my conscious self identity or my real-life status of living in Australia. Instead, I cheerfully think of giving it to my landlady (without realizing that it is not American money) as a partial payment for overdue rent. There is a thought that I already have enough food, so can pay her. These thoughts are ambiguous, and they almost activate my conscious self identity but are not viable.

(This fictitious situation is a result of the typical subliminal offset of vestibular system correlation, one of my “crucial three” dream state processes occurring every sleep cycle, to reinduce my conscious self identity and physicality. A wallet is an emerging consciousness thread that links the fictitious dream self to waking life identity.)

Not of a liminal mode, I still subliminally create a vestibular system precursor to enhance my dream’s vividness. I begin to descend the stairs. The landing (midway between first floor and second floor) is missing. I see Von Helton (this dream’s vestibular system simulacrum), the Internet conspiracy theorist, in the area where the bottom stairs would have otherwise been to join the landing in the opposite direction from the top flight.

“Hello, Von!” I call out cheerfully. “How’ve you been?”

“Not good,” he replies, with no emotion, as I descend the stairs. I smoothly jump off the last step of the top stairs, to where the landing would have otherwise been, safely falling to the first floor, and I enter a higher level of dream state awareness, as I had subliminally anticipated.

“Have you seen Richard?” I ask him. (Richard was a recovering alcoholic who lived on King Street years ago. I last saw Richard long before I ever heard of Von Helton.) Von does not reply.

A preconscious simulacrum activates in a doorway at this point as an unknown dark-haired woman of about thirty. (The emerging consciousness threads are still subliminal at this point, despite the manifestation of the preconscious in a doorway.)

“Have you seen Mrs. W____?” I ask her, referring to my landlady. Even though the title and surname are correct, I feel very puzzled, as if I said something incorrect, but the woman leads me into the living room.

I walk into the empty setting as the preconscious simulacrum vivifies my dream with the doorway factor. I get the feeling that it is late morning. On my right is a doorway into a big empty room (that was not there in reality) as I walk through the living room. It seems the landlady is moving from the mansion and this may be her last day here. She is standing cheerfully on the other side of the living room. I hand her the 50-dollar bill, expecting she will write a receipt, though her desk is not present.

She is happy to see me. “That is a big room,” I say about the one I passed.

“Oh, but it fills up quickly,” she comments.

I am concerned about my living arrangements as well as what will become of my stored belongings in another part of the house, but it seems that I will still be living here, as her nephew (unknown character) will supposedly be running things and taking rent payments from whatever new tenants arrive. I get the impression, from imaginary photographs in my thoughts, that he was a German who fought in World War II even though I also perceive him as about 20 years old. He will be strict and expecting reasonable tenants, and my landlady says he will prefer rent in advance, but I get the impression she will have it paid for me for the entire upcoming year. It seems very kind and generous of her.

The simulacrum radiates more dynamics of the interconsciousness (telepathic) to the point where I become aware of Zsuzsanna’s love for me though not in a direct sense of identity. Her face is very close to mine, radiating universality and bliss as a precursor to waking coalescence. I still do not viably realize who I am until I wake.

---

I am at some house with some others (in the dream they are familiar, but I’m not really sure who they are. I think they are younger and family friends/people we’ve known a while but don’t see all the time). One of them is trying to see a picture of my hair when it was longer. I am looking through my pictures, but can’t find one. I then go onto Snapchat’s ‘my eyes only’. I scroll slowly, thinking I have inappropriate pictures on here. The boy is practically looking right over my shoulder, and I wish he would back up a bit. I don’t find any pictures except for what looks like a lot of pictures from Yosemite. I think I must’ve lost some pictures or something. We’ve been outside, but I now go up a slight hill and into the house to use the bathroom. Most lights are out and it seems later, leading me to believe that anyone in here is asleep. I go into the slightly large bathroom, and the door doesn’t shut quite right. I then get it to stay as closed as it’ll get and stand right by it while I use the toilet, since it’s right by the door.



I am with Melissa and Mom in a small coffee shop. Both Mom and I have cups that we’ve just drank coffee from. I think they both still have ice in them. Mom sets hers on the counter and orders a chai with espresso in it. I ask for an in iced Americano, also setting my cup on the counter. We all sit at the counter and Mom tells us how her and the barista, a black lady a bit younger than Mom, have known each other for a while.

I am riding my bike up to a lake. From my current perspective, the lake looks small (it reminds me of the bike trail up the side of Fallen Leaf Lake), but when I get up closer to it it looks larger. I think it’s Tahoe. I look to my left and see Dad amongst some people on the fairly long and slightly inclined beach. I ride past him just a little bit, so I can turn back and ride straight down at him in an attempt to startle him. I do so, the sand ultimately stopping my momentum right by him, though I don’t know if it startles him. We end up getting into the water. I still think it’s Tahoe, but it almost looks more like the ocean. It is shallow for a long ways as we wade out. At one point I have my head underwater and am seeing two fish. They are fairly large and an aquatically metallic dark grey with specks of gold or another similar, lighter color. There is a small beak or some sharp protrusion on their faces. I don’t think they’re entirely malicious, but I do keep my distance from them. I surface and tell Dad “tiger head sharks.” We now see the water ahead of us a ways is a much darker blue, so we stop. I then hear what sounds like running or draining water and then see water ahead of us slowly moving. It draws back, increasing in speed, before swelling into a sizable wave. It is white-capped before even reaching us, so I simply plug my nose and prepare to ride it out. It breaks on us, more gently than anticipated, and I let it carry me underwater almost all the way to the shore.

I am driving with Makayla and have parked in some small, exposed, and slightly elevated lot. The low walls around are tan and look to be adobe or stucco. I am going to go into a store while she waits in the car. This ‘store’ looks antiquated and like it’s from a different country. It’s made of the same material. It has dirt floors and apparently not much else. I am carrying some sort of red, woven material that folds like a windshield sun screen. It seems worn and is slightly torn in the middle. I think I’ll pick up a case of beer while I’m here. I have now ended up out on the street. It’s busier out here and looks like it might be India. I’m looking for somewhere and can’t find it, when I run into Aly. We look at the map on my phone as she tells me directions. It’s right by where I came from, so I’m not sure how I missed it. This area and its few buildings are built into a slight hill. There’s also a fairly large river running besides and under the streets. Brenton is swimming in it. I think Kassidy is here too. I get into the river too. It is wide and seems very deep. It is not exactly clear, but it doesn’t feel or look dirty. It has a fairly strong current and only a few inches between it and the road it flows under. Brenton easily flows with it, but when I get in, the current and small space to pass through almost catch me off guard. I then relax and start floating. The underside of the road looks more like a small cavern. I am now on the other side and start climbing up a dark stone carving of a gargoyle I think. It’s sloped, but I manage to hang on. I then jump off and bounce on the water a few times and never actually go under. Kat comments on it from above.

I am with Melissa at Harry’s house (it doesn’t really look like his house, but it is large and opulent). We’re going to stay the night here. Melissa leans close to me and tells me she wants to take a bath. It does sound nice. I tell her there is a hot tub outside. Rocio now comes over and says that the bath here is not good - that it’s dirty or something (I’m not sure if she heard us or if it was coincidence). I’m now thinking about where we’re going to sleep. There’s a huge tan couch in this room and a large, empty bed in another room. I wonder if we’ll have to sleep separately, but don’t think so. I think I’m going to ask somebody about the sleeping arrangements, but it’s late enough to not really matter because probably no one else will show up here, and everyone who is here will be asleep now or shortly. I do pass a room and see Rocio and Jim Fry sitting in the large, tall bed. Jim is fixing or moving her shirt by her left breast. In another room, Dad and Harry are sitting in a vast bed, both texting. I notice a TV high up on a wall that is turned on. Marilyn is in a wooden chair against a wall a ways back from the TV. She is facing it, but it looks like she might be asleep.


Mom is driving me (and maybe also Melissa) to the place where she grew up. This two lane highway leads to a lush and rocky coastal point. I think we go past it and come back or something else unnecessary. We are here now, by some docks and a small building or two. I start swimming. I then pull myself up onto the dock; it’s slightly difficult. Tylar is doing the same and having the same struggle. Now Mom goes into a men’s bathroom after two guys come out of it. I see the women’s bathroom door is closed; this must be why she isn’t using it. I, after waiting a little bit, am about to go use the bathroom, then remember that she went in there.


I am with Melissa in what seems to be a building with a very high ceiling. We are climbing up very steep steps/stairs on the side of a huge refrigerator? Others are doing the same thing; we start climbing faster towards the top and are the first to summit. I am now halfway back down, but over the floor, suspended by a rope? There are ready to eat pizzas set out down there. John Blomquist is down there and I’m trying to get him to get a pizza up to me. He doesn’t, and I end up on the ground anyway. We start talking, and he seems a little intoxicated. I imagine things from his state right now. There is a shelf of alcohol here there are little tear shaped bottles of wine with plastic labels over the whole bottle. I see they are 19% alcohol and think it’s a fairly large portion for that ABV.

I have gotten home to Dad’s house (it looks different though - large and antiquated. As I write this, I realize it’s similar to some of the buildings in Old Town Sacramento). I go into a room that has two beds. Dad is asleep on his back in the closest bed, and Emma and Makayla are in the other, laying on their stomachs so they can face the TV that is playing a movie. I see an empty Stone beer bottle or two by Dad and think he must’ve been trying to ease the pain. I then think I’d like to get a beer for myself and go to do so. I think I look in the pantry, but do not find any and realize they’re in a different room. I go into this room, with the beers and my keys with the bottle opener on them, when I hear a fairly loud and disconcerting sound. It sounds like something deliberately tapped or knocked or something. I look at the TV on the wall and instead of being off, it appears to be on, but not on any channel. What’s on the screen is black and dark green, amorphous and moving fairly fast and ominously. I turn the TV off but it simply comes right back on. This happens a few times. There is also a painting of a girl in this room. The fabric where her nose is painted is ripped, and it appears real blood has flowed from it. A few times I look back at it, there is more blood. I think I ‘broke’ the nose. I think there are more noises and instances of the presence of a spirit being strongly felt.

Just been gettin scraps these last few days.

Spoiler for Log 1329 - Nephew, Axl, Kage, and More Crawl Fragments:

Created Tuesday 18 December 2018

Scrap Group 1
Playing Dungeon Crawl again.

Talking to my nephew.

Watching gameplay footage of Street Fighter V. This included footage Evil Ryu (aka Kage without those ridiculous devil horns and tusks).

Something about Axl in Guilty Gear.

Various other Crawl fragments. I was doing runs through the Hells.

Spoiler for Log 1330 - Live Action DnD, DV Chat, Jenga Hut, Bears in the Woods, and Slavic Offal Scraps:

Created Wednesday 19 December 2018

Scrap Group 1
In a live-action D&D world with my bro and various unknown (and likely fictional) acquaintances. We were tasked with scouting out lands outside of a kingdom. During one expedition, the casters (which included me) ran out of spells early. MY brother thought we'd get most of it all back on a short rest, but I pointed out that wasn't the case.

In the DV chat. There was a new unnofficial channel run by Exsolutus, basically just #Senseless Banter with even less rules. About a third the members chatted here regularly, Madmonkey among them.

In a condominium complex during daytime. I pass through a courtyard, where I spotted a hut built entirely by piles of Jenga-like blocks. For whatever reason, I tried squeezing behind it, but couldn't. A lady passing by cautioned I might accidentally topple the hut by doing that, so I stopped. The structure did get misaligned a bit. In my efforts to correct it, I unwittingly brought the whole thing down. I rewound time to keep this from happening. Instead, I'd gone back to a point where it wasn't even built in the first place.

In a temperate forest with my newphew. A park ranger takes us to see a family of bears. A mother bear was giving birth. Josiah was chosen to help. The babies were delivered at ridiculous speeds, not to mention that they appeared too large and in too great of a litter size for such animals. Anyway, my nephew gave one of the cubs a donut he had in hand. The cub snatched it away and trotted off, leaving some other... uh, baked goods behind along the way.

Visiting rural Slavic lands. A tour guide talked of a local delicacy: cooked animal placenta. He ate some, and offered me a bit, but I declined. Later, he partook in perverted, nasty banter with what otherwise seemed a small, stoic old woman.