12-4 Fragment (a): Guy with vape-ish thing that has a rubber cover on mouthpiece, like a new paintbrush. He gives me douche chills. He's explaining something in a condescending way? Darkish wood room? Dream (i): In a very dark crawlspace/attic/room, sneaking around, don't want to be found. Strong sense of foreboding, remember thinking "oh no" after feeling fear, remembering in-dream that fear/expectation will cause the thing to happen. I don't get close to lucidity though. Strange how I can peripherally recognize things to do/not do in a dream, and realize them, but not realize I'm in a dream. Fell through with companion onto a palette/tub in the corner of the room; window across the way? Transition, outside 8 on dog walking path by poop bag station. Talking to dad about politics/voting? Notable as the first time I've dreamed about this area of 8, which is strange because I've walked the path thrice daily for over a year living here. Dream (ii): FA-type dream, but in totally distorted version of 8. Has almost the same vibe as (i) (foreboding), but now F is here. She's gotten dressed in her pajamas again and is sitting on the couch, I join her there (third person moment). Notable because in the waking between (i) and (ii), I MILDed that I wanted to return to the dream location of (i), and in a sense they were very close together in a way that I can't quite put my finger on. It's just that "dream understanding" that comes to you. Fragment (b): Series of in-bed FAs. Lucid #71: In a house, don't remember the first few moments of the dream, suddenly gain consciousness and push my hands into a wall. Feels cool. When I pull them back out, I have rotten/termite-eaten wood one one of my index fingers. Something looks wrong about my wrist where the (sleeve?) meets my hand -- the overlap is backwards. It looks my hand (which looks totally real) is actually a glove, and the sleeve is my real body? So I pull off my hand like a glove, and underneath there's a foot! It's not mine because it's not hairy and looks feminine, and the toes are painted blue (#00008b looks like a match). I feel it with my hand and then put it against my face to see if it feels real -- it does! I have a hand foot! How strange. I don't know for sure now, but I remember after waking thinking that the senses to my hand felt different -- it didn't feel like I could control a hand and those nerve impulses would be "translated" into foot movements -- it actually felt like controlling another foot in the place of my hand. If that makes sense. But there's no way to verify that now I guess. Anyway, after feeling the foot, I was torn between sitting down and meditating and teleporting to my dream world, and I ended up hesitating and woke up. Fragment (c): Series of controllable hypnagogic episodes. First, a series of faces that I could move, and who had personalities I could understand. I don't remember the second. I also had one or more dreams after this but lost them. Notes: Excited about the December Contest!
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Something with Zilla. I am preparing toasts in a kitchen and I put lots of margarine on it. Can't remember details, but she and a friend are in the next room making arrangements for something and I can see and hear through the walls and I am feeling excited with this ability. There is a guy too and at some point they all take a bus and I know from my super-power that the the guy is carrying a good amount of money with him and they advised him to be discreet. Me and mom drive into a very degraded neighborhood, looking for the house of a lady to pick her up for something. Some houses are falling apart, people here are really poor. On arrival to the address, my mom crosses path with her older brother who doesn't get along with her and vice-versa, but he tries to get a ride from us. She pretty much ignores him and goes to sit on some low wall that surrounds he area. He then goes away with someone else. Then a third person says that maybe we should have been more sympathetic, that the man is down because one of his grandfathers died. But this grandfather isn't grandfather of my mom. He was a well known gypsy with a reputation. My mom doesn't feel any obligation of anything and anyway we also had family members dying and he never showed up. We pick up the person we came for, she lives with kids in the basement of one of these houses. We go to the city center, go through some place like a street market, looks like a dystopian future, but everyone dresses like the 80s, including us. There is a celebration of an election going on, but it looks chaotic and dangerous like in a Mad Max movie. And we are worried about two street kittens that mom used to feed in this area and were forced to move on to another area and now we can't find them. Visiting my university and particularly the student's association. All is so different, dark, degraded, once again Mad Max like. Instead of political work the kids are having hardcore parties and the association looks like a really shabby non-recommendable club. I go outside and walk the streets and I spot a little squirrel looking for food. I have some cat food with me and I slowly approach and try to feed him. When he finally caves in and comes eating on my hand, I sit on the floor against a wall. Then some guys come warn me that I am sitting against the Israel's embassy and that I'd better move on or they'll find suspicious and shoot me. I get up and as I walk towards their entrance, I am dragged by a crowd who is also in celebration mode and apparently welcoming someone important. I don't want to have anything to do with that, so I cross the road only to see myself in the path of a car with black windows, escorted by bikes and lots of security. Once again I really don't want to be in the middle of all this. At home, I check my non-lethal traps for rats. All empty. And then I hear noises in the walls and realize they are infested with rats nests. I open a few holes and there they are, some very large rats. And they look at me with their really cute eyes like challenging me, knowing that I don't want to kill them. But I think I need more traps and maybe will even try to catch them by hand, as they are so many. A post apocalyptic scene with zombies. I am watching from a distance a man on top of a car in the middle of water. He thinks he is safe there, but the water is knee deep and 3 zombies head towards him. Luckily we're dealing with slow zombies. So I have time to go there and try to help. As I fight through the zombies, a military jeep comes by with half a dozen soldiers, men and women, and they take care of it. They take the man who is injured and say are they can't take me as the jeep is full. But 3 ladies in the back seat squeeze themselves and still find a little space for me. On the way they are arguing with one of them who shoots black zombies more than whites and he does so also to those zombies who are not an immediate threath. Since there is an official program to find a cure, the protocol states they only kill the ones they really have to, but they noticed this guy is trigger happy regarding black zombies. He denies but everybody can see he is a racist and is using the opportunity to shoot some black people in the hopes that when the cure is achieved, the world will have less of them. We are shocked. Somewhere in a middle eastern town. In some compound with my dogs in a garage. My dog Lady finds a way to break the gate and they all run outside and disappear in the labyrinth of a street market. I freak out at the idea they get lost and don't come back, so I follow them and shout their names, so they don't lose me as a reference. I spot Maya and Soraia and lure them to me. Since they are the smaller ones, I grab them and then go look for the others. It is easier to get the other to follow if I carry these two. But on the way back, Maya and Tara become human girls and they want to buy scarfs from a salesman. I say no, Tara insists. She gets a blue scarf and somehow she has the money to pay, but she doesn't leave a tip. The couple of owners and their family start saying profanities and insulting the girls, but they speak in portuguese and I realize they are actually a portuguese family. I go to them and very politely I say that I understood all they said. They feel awkward. I explain she doesn't know about tips and the local customs, even I didn't know, but that they are the best people and don't deserve to be insulted that way. I leave a tip them and then we go away.
Sooooooo, last night was pretty wild. I'm still popping B6 every day, and meditating a decent amount (maybe once a day). Well, falling asleep I kept lucidity on my mind, and hoped for the random dild... You know I don't like depending on dilds.... I woke up at 12pm, that's 2 hours after I went to bed. And I was decently awake. I felt like I was getting sick. My throat was sore af, and every time I inhaled and exhaled, my throat would bother me. I tried wilding. And honestly I have always struggled with this induction technique.. well tonight was different!!!! As I was falling back asleep, I kept focusing on the slight bother in my throat. I kept breathing calmly and focused on making awareness and focusing on my breath. The bothersome feeling in my throat was suddenly gone. I couldn't move, and it felt like a blanket in the form of sleep itself was slowly put over my entire body. It felt like SP. So I took the opportunity to transition into a dream!! I "forced" myself to sit up in my bed (it felt almost impossible to do). I RCed, and I was in a dream!!!! I got up and walked towards the door to the entrance hall. My dog was laying i front of the door. He got up as I approached the door. As he walked past me I graced my hand through his fur. He felt just like in waking life lol. I went into the entrance hall, the lights were off. I flipped the switch but the lights didn't turn on. I jumped up to the lightbulb and snapped my fingers to make it light up. It didn't lol. I walked into the next room, and found my brother and his family sleeping. They were also sleeping in two other rooms lol. I felt like I was waking up from the dream. I woke up. Good dream!!! VERY VIVID!!!! the gravity was a bit off , but all in all it was good. But short. Ohh well I wilded!!!!! I'll try to keep this feeling in my memory, so I might be able to do it once again 👍👍 Later that night I had trouble falling back asleep. But eventually I did fall asleep. I had a VERY VIVID dream. The dream content is irrelevant. But the fact that I was semi lucid is not!!! Well... The entire dream I knew I was dreaming. And a dream character also had realised she was dreaming... I even talked to some dream characters about this dream, and that I had been in this dream for at least 20 minutes. But I was never REALLY lucid. It was a weird feeling.... A feeling of lucidity and forgetfullness at the same time.... I woke up... Productive night!!!! Good to have a wild, but a bit frustrating to only be semi lucid in the other dream.... Let's make it happen tomorrow night
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening Something about russians and some test. Something on a public swimming pool, with a couple of ladies, crossing the locker room to avoid or meet someone, but then getting excited about a swim in the pool. A friend says he invented a simulation of a nuclear bomb, but without radiation and the blast is harmless so wants to test it. I'm not feeling sure about that, but he insists on blowing it up and says we can hide in an underground shelter nearby. Strangely enough, he sets it off in the middle of a town, so I wonder about all other people if the test goes wrong. Anyway, he is not going to stop for anything and he blasts the thing off. The shock wave is strangely slow, so we can run ahead of it and seek the shelter. He doesn't go, but me and Alex and Zilla we run to it. Zilla is the only one who knows where it is. Alex trips when we cross a bridge and he grabs a piece of my clothing asking for help. But I tell him "it's ok, the bomb is harmless, you'll be fine." And I shrug him off and keep going (watch a bitch I can be). I look back a few steps later and ask him if he'll be ok? He ain't sure, but he doesn't complain and gets up to keep running. Zilla finally stops behind a building with a garden and I ask if the bunker is there. She says no and that she also wants to experience the blast on the surface, but she is taking cover behind the building She finds a hose on a wall and takes an improvised shower. Recommends me to do the same, in case the blast is hot. I feel pretty upset with all this and think these guys are just fucking insane. The blast is coming. I am a at a supermarket with Riverstone, shopping for food. Some troll just put 200€ of frozen fish on our trolley. We're vegetarian, I ask the cashier to keep it and take it away, but Riverstone is looking at all the codfish and saying maybe we should buy it for special occasions. I am pissed he is even considering that and say "absolutely no". Everyone seems to be losing his/her voice. I am also starting to loose mine. It's some virus that's going around and infecting more and more people. It's afflictive.
Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday. Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62. At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming. My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat. From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.) In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, “roar” at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual. Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from “The 100”) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, “This is sector seven.” It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees. The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being “reborn” into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.
Recent Comments
