dream fragment

Had a long, confused dreams about a debilitating sickness slowly crippling me. Don't feel like writing about it here, but making the entry to keep both my private and public DJ consistent.

LUCID DREAM YAYAYAYAY

Okay, so first things first:

I was walking around the uni campus. Then I met Callie, from The Fosters. We went to class together, but I kept feeling there was something going on between us. We got to class and she sat somewhere. I was gonna sit behind her, but the seat was taken, so I told her I was gonna sit on the other side of the room. She followed me so we could sit together.

Then, we were supposed to work on a project or something, so I told her we could go to the aquarium of the campus. We went there and I took her hand. She actually smiled at me and it was super sweet. We walked around the place some more and I asked where she wanted to begin. She said she wanted to go to the highest floor and make our way back to the ground floor. I said okay, but she decided to go to the bathroom first.

Then her mother (Lena, also from The Fosters), who was also the teacher, ran into me and asked me if I wanted to see a new room they were working on. I said I would, so she opened a door. And there were frogs in there. She walked in, showing me around. And then a frog jumped at me and I freaked out, but I didn't to look stupid, so I slapped it away and ran to the door.

When I left the room, I was outside the aquarium and it was night. Lena asked about a couple of teenagers and I said I didn't know cause I don't pay attention to people all that much. Another The Fosters character, Mariana, was there too. We were friendly enough and Lena laughed and said oh you teenagers. And I was like "uhm, actually, I'm 25. But Mariana here is a baby, she's only 21".

And then. I thought "I haven't done a RC in a while now. But that'd be stupid. I know I'm not dreaming. Wait. Am I?" So I looked around and it hit me that YES I WAS DREAMING!!!

So I felt myself on my bed, knew I was about to wake up, so I let myself... uhm, be on my bed. I wasn't very corporeal and the dream wasn't too stable. But I made myself get out of bed, walk around it, until I was in front of the wall. I kinda went forward, thinking that I could go through the wall and find myself at a park.

The park was blurry and I was still aware enough of my real body. I figured I had to do the TOTM, so I shouted "ME" and it was a bit like chat (I was there for quite a while yesterday). Another me showed up and I was like "So what were you going to tell me?" and then the other me started yelling "FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID LITTLE FAGGOT, JUST FUCK YOU AND LEAVE ME ALONE" and he ran away.

I didn't care much about that and I knew I was about to wake up, so I shouted "LEA" and someone showed up. She didn't look like Lea, but she was supposed to represent Lea. We were kind of avatars and I wanted to declare my love to her, so the avatar me had a dialogue box and lots of symbols showed up there. I knew they were bad, but Lea just kept smiling. Then, she opened a dialogue box too and more symbols appeared. After she was done, she walked away.

I woke up and my bedroom looked way more brighter than it had been in the beginning of the lucid dream, which made me realise the dream was a bit more stable than I had thought.

Fragment: there was something about taking the subway? I dunno.

I was in a room and there were a lot of dc's tasense then the lastthe form of a lot of my family members. But i knew they werent. None of them seemed good. They were trying to make me believe thier ways and told me if i keep going on thinking how i am they would Take my identidy and prety much make sure im a laughing stock and kick me out of the land. This did not seem right.
I don't remember what happened but I was kicked out. Then a big storm fell upon them. The looks of the sky was unlike I've ever seen I can't even begin to explain it. When I saw this I began to sing open the eyes of my heart lord open the eyes of my heart I want to see you. When I did that it began to hail huge shaterd glass hail.
Their was a pick up bed cannapy conveniently open for me to go in. I went in and continued to sing. As I layd my head down coverd my self with a blanket that was also coveniently there and dosed off.
When I woke I was being driven some where else. It was pure sun shine. The place there felt good and full of happiness. Then somthing happened I don't remember. I know I went some where else like on a mission it felt I was on.
This part don't make sence but it makes more sence. I was in a room with a bunch of people again. None of them seemed good. Exept two was with me that was good this time. We were watching somthing on a TV the people there was supposed to perform a live event on the TV for us to bare wittness to some how.
They played somthing but stopped and rewound it and then edited it to them messing around with snakes. so we would not know what actually happened. But I seen the flip And I started to object and say that's not how it happened I saw what you did they all looked at me with an evil glare.
Then I turned to one of my friends and asked did you see that. He said nothing then I went to ask my other friend but he was turned to ash. Then I looked back at them and said somthing but I don't remember what but I know I was talking in my sleep saying it. The last thing I remember saying if you are truely a man of God you will let me go. Then I woke up.

End
Notes:I prayd despritly before I dosed off. the very first dream I had after an hour in a half I had this dream. I ask god to show me guidance. to show me what he wanted me to know, in my dreams for those visions speak loud. So that I may know the real truth. In
my theory maybe this was symbolic meaning for what I was studying the night before on if I should believe it or not. The history of the christians. How it was said that a group of christians violently attacked other groups of christians and imprisened them for what they believed in and burnt there books untill nothing was left of them. Leaving them able to edit thier own to what they believed.
You know how jesus says turn the other cheek and love your enemies and your neighbors as your self. Why did this group seem to not follow that What does this really mean look it up. It could be in other theory with out the prayer my mind filling info. But with this strong feeling I put into the prayer makes me think other wise. And for it to be so strong of a dream and the very first one I have also makes me think. Like im sorry but I have to show it to you this way for you to understand and feel the meaning.
Although it's tottaly OK I can take it I'm not afraid any more. I do not walk alone. If at all I am an open minded person. My mate suggested it could have been a spiritual attack. Maybe it could have been both or all three But I point out what I said. Before how strong I felt that prayer was. I know I will be able to confirm some day but untill then this is highly noted.
Also note I don't usually yell or speak so loud out loud when I dream. My mate was in the next room and could hear me off and on for an hour. Weird I need feed back pls any one. I hope it was just a file but if not what then huh. And anyone who says anything might be like my friends in the dream they ether don't say anything or they turn to ash."disappear " also note I don't tottaly believe this but I know it has some meaning to it or somthing its weird.lol

Still have no idea if this was a lucid or not, but I'll post it anyways.

For context, earlier in the night I had a nightmare or two. (I forget the details). When I woke up, I remember thinking to myself, 'Yay, nightmares! Nightmares means I'll be more likely to have lucid dreams'. I had just read that natural lucid dreamers tended to have them because of nightmares as a kid. Anyways, I promptly fell back to sleep.

Then, I dreamt another dream (don't remember this one either, weirdly enough). Supposedly around the end I thought to myself, 'Wait a moment, I'm dreaming.' Or something like that. I didn't perform any RCs (I never got in the habit of doing that), but I thought repeatedly, 'Am I dreaming? Am I actually aware that I'm dreaming? Let me make sure.' and stuff like that.

Finally convinced that I did all that I could to ensure that I wasn't just dreaming about being aware that I was dreaming, I started to move around in this weirdly grey void. This is weird because I have really good recall, and my past 1000+ dreams have been super vivid visually.

Tactically, however, it felt really weird. Kind of like I was in a different state. I was super aware of my movement, and so it felt 'dense'. I don't know how to describe it. And it felt like I could easily slip out of this state.

Anyways, I decided to wake up after a minute or so because it was really weird, new, there didn't look like there was much else I could do, and I wanted to tell people about it. I'm not sure if I actually woke up or had a false awakening, but if I actually woke up I must have thought that it was too awkward to use my phone for some reason. Then I had a few more dreams and woke up in the morning.

Did I have a lucid dream, or did I just dream about what my mind pictured a lucid dream would feel like? I don't know, but I figured I'd record it as one anyways. If I have another one, I can see if it feels similar. I call it the Schrödingers dream because was it a lucid, was it not? We will never know.

I see my sister, she is coming back home on a plane with her girlfriend. Back at my mom's house, I see a friend who recently had a kid, asks me if I want to come over.

At a pizzeria, try to eat a pizza. It tastes so bad I can only eat one slice, unlike me to leave even bad food uneaten. I see a person I haven't seen in a long while there, she got really fat.

Outside, I see a white mouse running through the courtyard. I grab it and eat it. Can't really swallow it, its carcass is between my gums, stuck and it tastes really bad. I try to spit it out but its stuck in there good. I try to do it inconspicuously, I'm spitting up a dead mouse after all. It comes out in pieces, some more recognizable than others.

I see a library/ welding hall. Inside there is a place where you can smash your berries into juice, it's like a giant wooden vice. I squash my berries, but it gets messy, get juice everywhere.

At a friend's house, it's a grey evening, he has a Playstation 3. I ask if he's ever played Child of Eden. He hasn't, says he'll try it out sometime.

It's as if I enter a memory, I see a group of my friends but they are much younger, before I ever even knew them. One of them still has his distinctive beard, even though he's just a kid. We are at the top of a giant waterslide, they tell me to look down. I feel excited that they are letting me into their group.

I set an alarm to look at the blood moon. Falling asleep after hitting snooze, I see a dream of myself in my family's old apartment. It looks like the sun is pretty much out. A crazy fog covers everything, I won't see anything. I feel an odd tinge of relief. Behind me on the sofa a guy I know who said he was going to take pictures of the eclipse is lying down. I tell him that he didn't miss a thing.

Waking up, the dark sky is covered in clouds. I couldn't see the eclipse at all.

I was with a couple people I knew and we were getting transported by a dude who could fly. I tried to take a picture and it was black and white so I asked to go again but he said he had to fly the other people.

I just woke up from a dream

….where a long time friend of mine was moving away forever and I had to write her one last letter (for some reason I could never contact her again after she moved). I could not just write whatever I wanted though because the letter had a set amount of blank spaces depicted as underscores (like this: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ) where I could only fill them in one letter to a blank space. This made writing the letter with anything meaningful really difficult. For some reason my house had covered slides coming out of some walls and all the slides went down into the front yard but they were water slides and couldn’t be used unless they were wet. We were out of luck because for some reason we had no water. My friend was waiting for my letter in a station wagon in the road in front of my house. It was only herself in the back and a male driver in the front. I know my letter mad little sense but I had written it as quickly as I could and ran outside to give it to her but the station wagon was already driving away down the street and there was no way I could run fast enough to catch up with it. I was inconsolably sad.

There was a fragment where I was following a seeminly endless dirt path through a thick dark forest but I don’t remember it’s placement in the dream.

I'm in a gigantic boat, all steel and rust. I have to share my cabin with two other girls, and it's implied that there are many more. We're en route to a nebulous location othersea, and while not exactly happy about it we will be glad to get off the boat.
A woman open the cabin door to chid us, telling me that I need to turn in my drawnings ASAP, while giving contradictory instructions. I decide to take one of the other girl hair as model, and when free them from the hair clips. I start to drown, then wake up.

I'm watching Jeb Bush take the podium on a stage, he has just won the American presidential election. There is talk that a third Bush says far more about the state of America than a second Clinton.

I'm watching a television program that looks like it's from the late 80's or early 90's, the footage is grainy and old. I recognize a metro station in the background, there are intercity kids who are being interview, they have a belligerent attitude. I try to recognize the concrete apartment buildings against the grey sky, I'd want to visit the place. I see That some of the balcony windows are boarded up and have tags sprayed over them, you don't see that everywhere.

I'm being sent to a military base, I have an injured knee so I come a little late. I make it to see that all of the special rifles we were to be training with have been taken, I feel a bit excluded. This is out in the parking lot outside the base. I see lots of people I knew from school, one wants to join special forces. Inside an armored truck I'm sitting and waiting in, some of the new recruits are shooting at the armored car, I guess they assume bullets can't penetrate the hull. I pull my legs and hand in, just in case. What dolts.

At the base I see an old teacher I knew, I ask him where I should go given that I'm injured and can't do much. He says he'll get right back to me and disappears into a crowd, it looks like there is some kind of fair going on. I pace painfully around looking for something to do. After a while of not seeing him, I flag him down and he apologizes for not getting back to me, he puts me in contact with a receptionist who will put me somewhere. The receptionist is a woman in her 30's and asks me to follow her outside, she is going for a cigarette break. I do, it's sunny outside. I get the impression that smoking on the job is not allowed when she says I can also take a break if I want to. I say I'll just stroll around. Outside the building proper she asks me about my knee and why my right pant leg is pulled up. I tell her it gets injured sometimes and I show how swollen it has gotten.

I had another dream about this lady I used to be romantically attracted to. I thought we'd get together at some point,but it seemed like all she wanted to do was play games. Needless to say,we did not part on good terms.

I dreamed I walked into this convenience store. I got a soda from the fountain dispenser and went to the front to pay for it. Jessi and some girl were behind the front counter,sitting on stools and talking. The counter itself was about waist high,the top was gray marble and the base was aqua colored. I sat the drink down but neither of them looked up. It was almost like they didn't see me there. Jessi turned her head and said something to the other girl. Jessi told the other girl she and her husband had gotten into an argument about something trivial. I think she said a glass had got broken and he blamed her for it,even though she didn't do it.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

Dream 1 - Long hair
So I had a dream where I saw my reflection and I had some kickass hairstyle. I felt like a damn lion. My fringe was kind of short and spiked up at the front, the rest of my hair was long and straight but kind of flowed into spikes too. The appearance itself looked electric. I can't remember clearly but I think my hair was white too. I wandered around for a while thinking how badass I looked, catching snippets of looks into reflections from car windows and stuff. But I had yet to properly look into a mirror, and when I did... Man I was shocked O_O. Like my hairline had receded and it looked all weird, then I woke up... What a bad end to such a cool hair style :/

Dream 2 - dream fragment
I remember racing cars and stuff.. Super vague.

Notes: I've been reading A LOT lately, hours and hours and hours I've spent reading until late every night just completely immersed. That's why my dream recall has been so shoddy, as I've had a bad sleep cycle. I'm also quite indolent :/.

I only remember fragments of this dream, but with a clear lucid moment.

I am preparing to fly and have one arm reaching up overhead and one by my side like superman. I am thinking something along the lines of maybe this will work better since I usually I can't fly in dreams (this must have planted a awareness seed).

missing fragment?

I am floating high up in the sky, flying towards a castle/building on-top of a mountain in the distance. I think to myself "This is a lucid dream" but only half believe it, but that thought itself works - my perception then changes, with the shift to lucidity - the lucid moment happens so fast I can barely take anything in, but I feel the wind and cold air around me, and the floating sense of being suspended high in the sky. Then I think with absolute certainty, "Ok Yes, I am 100% sure I am having a lucid dream now!"

I take a turn, (not sure why) thinking I will practice flying, but then I lose my balance, and start to fall.

And just like that, no more lucidity

LD: I was hanging out with my brother when I was going through some things about weird directional forces of quantum mechanics or something and it wasn't working. We started to have the discussion about when we both started realizing. WERE IN A DREAM!. I started working with him to try and build something out of nothing but it wasn't working. I turned to him and said "I seem to have a case of stage fright and cannot perform the action" he gave it a shot and couldn't do it either so we just kind of moved objects around for a bit while enjoying the familiar buzz of awareness

My fragment dream was me stumbling through this huge building and accidently running into an office with Doctor Who in it (old Scottish actor) I knocked over a picture book and then said sorry and the lady at the front desk looked at it got up and started fixing it so I helped and then the actor came over and I dont remember from there.

After this I had a dream where I was at a fair ground and my Mom and little brother and Simon and a couple were with us. Eventually it started raining so we had to get going but we only had the blue Oldsmobile so the first road we tried was blocked off because of flooding and we whipped a U-ey and headed back into oncoming traffic which also turned around and headed back (no idea how) when we got back we jumped in a hot air balloon type device that was pretty open to the elements and actually not to safe. My littlest brother was asleep and I was holding on to him and some of the rigging to try to keep us steady while my mom entered the cockpit trying to fly. We ended up heading straight for the ground and started to skim trees, I was trying to cover my little brothers face but an eyelid got snagged. Nothing bad happened to him but it had me worried. We hit the ground and I asked him if it was okay and he said ya, it was a little red and my have had a scratch on the cornea. The next thing I knew there was a guy talking about how his girlfriend needs to work and my mom who he was talking to (I thought oh sh!t shes a stay at home mom she will be pissed) and sure enough she slapped him lightly and said some thing I dont remember.

I was a toddler lying supine on a cold metal grate walkway. At the same time I was standing about four feet away and watching myself. There was a lot of water spiraling around my head in the tube the walkway was in. I'd say the tube was about 12 feet in diameter. About twice my height. The water was spinning around insanely fast but wasn't making a sound.