memorable

In which I'm an epic bad guy...

The first was some sort of epic fantasy type dream. I can't remember much about it except that it involved battles and tricksters. I got the feeling that I was the bad guy.

In which I'm too ethical to snoop...
The second was that I opened by email only to find that my account had been swapped with my husband's cousin HC. At first I was alarmed that someone else must have my account. Then I realized that there was nothing personal or important in my email anyway. So I decided to snoop around in HC's email account. After about a minute of this, I started to feel guilty and logged out. I called him up and told him about it. This was a very boring dream, but I thought that maybe the emotions in it might be linked to the first. In the first dream, I was some sort of bad guy. In the second dream, I first got alarmed when I thought someone else might be reading my emails then realized I don't have anything to hide. I start to snoop and then correct myself like a good girlscout. So I just wondered if the two were related, emotionally anyway.

In which my father and I are in a jail cell with some thugs and my high school boyfriend...

My father and I were arrested. Apparently we'd done something stupid and illegal while drunk, but this took place before the dream plot started so I never knew what it was. The dream starts with us sitting in a holding cell. It's a wide cell like in old Western movies. There are iron bars on one side with a brick wall exactly opposite. The two short sides connecting the bars to the brick wall each have a small wooden bench. We are drunkards, snoozing on the benches. The bars slide open with a loud noise and we wake up, hung-over. We ask the cop if he is going to let us out, but he ignores us as he pushes in three other men. One is a chubby guy with curly hair. One is short and lanky. The third one, I can't see. The chubby guy sits down on the bench next to me, the lanky guy sits next to him and the third guy sits in a shadowed corner on the bench by my dad.

We've never been in jail before so we aren't sure how to talk to new cell mates. I ask what they are in for. They explain that they've beaten someone up and leer at us menacingly. I'm not afraid of them as we are in a jail cell and there are police officers all around. They give us the details of how they jumped a guy and beat and kicked him until he spat blood, broke his ribs and his teeth fell out. They think it is funny. This makes me feel really sad, down deep in my gut- the way I feel when I hear about serial killers or people who torture animals. It's sort of a sick hopelessness. I decide to ignore them and think about something else just to avoid how horrible I feel when I think about their victim. To distract myself, I start looking at the cops who are processing some more people- standing them in front of the camera for the mugshot and taking their fingerprints. I think to myself that I must've been really drunk when I got arrested because I can't remember any of that. With a shock, I notice that one of the new people the police are processing is my ex-boyfriend from high school- a guy I have not seen or thought about for years. We make eye-contact: me behind the bars and him standing for his mugshot. I look away fast and try to pretend that I didn't see him.

Meanwhile my father is telling the violent trio about how if they don't just shut up right now, he will beat each of them until their teeth fall out. They laugh at him and he laughs too, but his laugh is so crazy that it makes them get quiet. Then he stands up and in a maniacal way starts to act out and describe exactly how he will beat them up if they persist in talking about their victim. My father is not a violent guy and I've never seen him fight anyone, so I was really surprised to see this. He told them, "First I'll attack you, Big Curly Man" and then he explained how he'd jump the guy so fast that he wouldn't know what was coming and he'd be kicking in his skull by the time his friends tried to intervene. Then he'd impale the "Creepy Guy" with a piece of pipe he'd found in the cell and squish the "Little Fellow" with his free fist. By the time he'd finished acting this out, all the while shouting and laughing hysterically, the trio were silent. Nobody knew what to think of the display.

The cops pulled open the bars a second time and pushed in my high school boyfriend along with another guy who I didn't get a good look at. My high school boyfriend is a loser and an odd-looking guy, but I have a soft spot for him even though he is a creep. It might be pity. He looked terrible- dirty and haggard with rough skin and wild hair. He obviously hadn't shaved in days. I glanced at my father to see that he did recognize him. At first, my ex just pretended that he didn't recognize me, and I thought that was nice of him. He was giving me the opportunity to ignore him. But I decided to be mature and civil, so I stuck out my hand and shook his and told him that it was really weird to see him here. He agreed and lit a cigarette. I thought that it was really bad for him that he is still smoking since he has asthma, but I didn't say that. He looked sickly and coughed. I have asthma too so I asked him not to light up in the cell. It was a small space and if he smoked, it would make it difficult for me to breathe. Besides, I was pretty sure it was against the rules. He complied and put out his cigarette, but the member of the trio in the corner lit one up almost immediately afterwards as a sign of juvenille defiance. I rolled my eyes and went to stand by the bars to breathe the fresh air. I was going to let it go, but my dad stood up and walked towards him, snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and then stomped it out with his boot. The shadow guy said nothing.

Then the police came over to say that my husband had bailed us out. Things get fuzzy after this. We left the cell and had some discussion about what we had done in our drunken state the night before. We'd have to appear in court. I can't remember this part, but I remember feeling like it was something really stupid and dangerous though not harmful to anyone. My father went home, and my husband and I went to my mom's house. She was having some sort of party and asked us to help her curl the ribbons on the balloons using scissors. We sat on high stools at a tall round table that was full of craft supplies in a room that looked like a school workroom with lots of cabinets. There were a lot of people there, but I couldn't identify any of them. We worked at the ribbon curling and I told the story of what I did while drunk and how I got arrested. People were amused but also disapproved. I can't remember the rest very well- there was more after that but I don't remember it.

Taken with the other two dreams below, there is an obvious emotional link between them all. In all the dreams, I've done something wrong. In this one, I broke a law. In the boring one, I did something unethical. In the mostly forgotten one, I'm a bad guy in a battle.

I entered my dream in the city where I wanted to talking with my brother, we were on top of a high rise waiting for a chopper, I used my gateway to become lucid but to make sure I was I jumped off the building, I dropped fast as I fell I pushed harder to drop faster, before I hit the ground I flew, I flew hard and fast.
Since I learned how to fly in my dreams I try and push it harder and faster every time, I flew back up to the top of the helipad….lol…..my brother asked what was that?....we walked back down the stairs, I asked him if he were going to come we my friend Luis and I and get some drinks Luis was waiting for us on the 7 floor he said no…..for some reason I was dropping out of lucid so I started spinning to re enforce my surrounding but of course everything changed…..so I said ok let’s have fun I turned it into a military assult….my wife and I had to defend my home, I made it a little too challenging ….lol….my wife was killed…..so I had to defend the house myself…it was very fun I lifted a huge chunk of earth with my mind and eliminated about 60 soldiers……I opened the earth swallowing a huge armored assault ….
If I continued it would be a book…lol…I did have to spin a few time to re-enforce my lucid dream and this did change my surrounding a bit but more to what I wanted it to look like…and all 3 times that I did the spinning I performed a reality check…..i have been fooled before…lol..

This is my first dream journal post enjoy

11.16.10
Type: Lucid, DS
Vividness: 6/10
Lucidity: 6/10

Hide and Seek
Walking along a cobblestone path, the same on that I was walking on in one of my first lucids, this time walking with a girl I don't recognize.. I do a nose RC because of the surreal landscape, and perhaps because I just came out of a nightmare I think.. anyways noseplug RC succeeds and I affirm that I am dreaming to myself. I remember how last time I was occupied trying to fix my fading vision and thus woke myself up, and recalled that in fact touch is the most prominent stabilizing factor in dreams, so I directed my attention toward my body, my posture, the weight of my jeans on my legs, the smell of the grass and forest we are approaching.. the path ends and we enter some woods with trees with rather large trunks, perhaps cedar.. the girl playfully hides behind some trees and I'm trying to find her, and cannot locate her anymore. Vision starts to fade and I focus on my body and remain conscious, and maintained consciousness through the fading dream into waking, awoke feeling incredibly refreshed.

Well I was happy when waking from this LD because I maintained lucidity for approximately 2min, longest achieved thus far that I can remember. Also, I remembered to stay calm and do what I had intended to do which is also a first, rather than try to immediately jump into the sky without thinking or sex up the lady that I was walking with.

11.14.10
Car Nap

I don't remember what the dream was about, but I remember taking a nap on the drive back from Boston to Detroit.. I suddenly became aware that I had slipped into the dream state while experiencing HI, the first time I've ever accomplished that. I then tried to run and was incredibly excited and immediately woke myself up. ..

Hi. I think I'm in the right place. This is my first dream journal post. I'm excited to keep a log of my dreams and to look at yours! If I'm in the wrong place, please let me know!

In which I seek the help of a Korean snake oil doctor to heal my husband's beetle-infested head wound...

I’m sitting in the living room waiting for my husband to get out of the shower. He walks in, wet with the towel still around his waist. A large clump of hair has fallen out of the left side of his head, leaving a huge bald spot above his ear. He is not bothered by it and explains that it is just male pattern baldness. At first I try to be polite and supportive, but internally I’m struggling with the fleeting nature of youth. I’m only 32, not old enough to have a balding husband! I start to really regret ever taking advantage of having a young and good-looking husband, and I feel like it is all downhill from here.

My husband tells me that I’m being shallow and immature. He points out that there are plenty of attractive bald me. He mentions Captain Piccard and Amir Khan- even David Beckham is balding. I agree, but I tell him that he looks ridiculous with only one big bald spot in an otherwise thick head of black hair. We decide that the best thing to do is just shave it all off; nothing looks worse than a comb-over.

I grab the shears and get ready to make peace with aging, but when I move closer to his head, I see that actually there is a large gash deep in his skin, revealing parts of his skull, and full of marble-sized translucent beetles. He can tell by the look on my face that I’m disturbed, that something is terribly wrong. I won’t let him look in the mirror and instead insist that we rush right away to the ER.

We hurry out the door only to realize that we are living down on of Seoul’s confusing and crowded back alleys. None of the signs are in English and before long we are lost. Eventually we make our way to a main road where we are forced to hail a cab. A golf cart responds, and we hop in the back and make our hopelessly slow way through the city traffic to a hospital.

The clinic is on the outskirts of town in a Japanese style house with a large garden in front full of snakes from all over the world. There are dangerous coral snakes, cottonmouths, slithering rat snakes, giant yellow Burmese pythons, coiled rattlers, colorful boas dropping from trees and herds of tiny garden snakes wiggling between, over and under all the others. Bright blue and orange fluffy cats mingle with the snakes in the yard, sometimes leaping straight up into the air with their backs arched, hackles raised, tails poofed and toes pointed like the typical black Halloween cat on a fence post. The golf cart cabbie explains that the snakes are for the doctor’s snake oil and the cats are to guard the clinic and keep the snakes outside. He drives up into the yard, dodging the cats, with the wheels of the golf cart thumping and thudding on the snakes beneath the tires.

Two volunteer nurses rush outside and help us in. They take one look at the beetles infesting my husband’s head wound and explain that these are contagious pests like lice. We rush my husband off into his own private and isolated room where he must wait for the doctor, and then they warn me to wash my hands and burn my clothes.

I’m walking back down the hall towards the washroom when I notice a young man hiding in a dark corner holding a bobby pin. I ask him what he’s doing, and he explains that he is going to become a master burglar, thief and outlaw. He looks like he is about 14 years old with blonde hair and blue eyes. He reminds me of Leonardo DiCaprio on “Growing Pains“. I ask him why he doesn’t go to school or work towards a more hopeful future, and he explains that he wants people to sing songs about him, like Ned Kelly. I start to question his knowledge of folklore and his romantic misunderstanding of poverty related crime, but I decide it is not worth it. I go to the washroom and scrub my hands. When I come out, I see him at the end of the hall trying to pick the lock on my husband’s door. I punch him hard in the stomach and consider turning him into the police, but he looks so young and clueless that I feel sorry for him and instead let him go out the back door of the clinic. I even warn him about the yellow python.

Back in my husband’s hospital room, I pull up a chair by the door and sit and wait for the doctor. The dream then disintegrates into a discussion about the Krebb’s Cycle which I’m studying in real life.

Decent night. Working on building my recall and discipline back up.

The Girl Moves Out
1122: A very emotionally charged and memorable non-lucid. I live in the Daisetta house. My roommate is S, a former coworker girl from real life, with whom I had a very brief and destructive romantic relationship. That experience was about a year ago and we've never spoken since. So in the dream, she lives in my house. Her room is next to mine. It's nighttime. I walk into her room. She is watching TV. There are a a few piles of laundry waiting to be folded. On top of the clothing, a couple of cats are hanging out too. I sit and watch TV with her for a while. Her and I seem to quietly accept each other's company. She doesn't freak out or act upset like I am afraid she will. We are actually having a good time hanging out together.

Then she leaves the room, I expect her to be right back. Maybe she went to the bathroom or to the kitchen. But time fast-forwards an hour or so and she hasn't returned. I walk out of the room and around the house looking for her. I run in to a strange man who startles me. I ask: "What are you doing here?!" He replies: "I'm one of the movers." Oh. I realize that S is moving all her stuff out. I walk out and find her in the backyard. We have this exchange:

Me: What's going on?
S: I'm moving out.
Me: But I thought things between us were just starting to be okay again.
S: (shakes her head)
Me: So you're really leaving? You know I'm sorry....

She walks away and back to her room. I stand still for a moment. I am crushed. But at the same time I realize this was inevitable. I probably deserve it. I follow her back to her room. She is packing up things. I start to help her. We have this quiet moment where I sense we are both sad but also realize this is for the best. Soon, she's ready to go. I walk with her to the front door. At the last moment, she turns to me, looks me in the eyes and asks: "Why?" I know what she means. All I can say is: "I don't know. I guess... I just really really really liked you. Too much, I suppose."

She gives me an understanding smile. She lets me kiss her on the cheek. We have one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-really-goodbye-forever moments. Then she turns and walks out to the street where a taxi is waiting. I close the door and reflect on what happened.

Then I think I wake up for real. But my mind is still really wrapped up in the dream, so I continue in a daydream, which seems obvious because of how the plot changes from something natural to something artificial and movie-like. I'm still standing just inside the front door, reflecting on all that is happened. I miss her. I don't want her to go. But I also feel guilty and ashamed. Then I hear the door bell ring. I open the door and there is S. Her face is full of anticipation, like she's about to burst. She says "I really really really like you too!" And she kisses me passionately. End. I suppose that's how I'd like it to end, but it didn't seem satisfying. It didn't seem genuine.

fragment
School field trip to a secluded private park. Trying to watch birds mating. Most people are off playing football. I ask if they are playing a real game but they are just tossing the ball around like 3-flags up. I join and throw a few times. My throw is really weak.

Umm... Yeah... I think I'm dreaming
Method DILD (absurdity)
1237: I'm coming home from work. I'm walking along a bike path. I stop at a public restroom. I walk up to a urinal. I look down and I have two penises, one lined up above the other. Oh, I really must be dreaming. I nose-pinch and I can breath. But I wake up immediately.

Dysfunctional TV Family
1346: Watching TV show on VHS tapes, on the big screen TV from the Daisetta house. The show is about a family with 2 daughters and a son. I think the parent is a single mom. The oldest daughter just finished high school. She had to take summer school classes to finish. The son drinks. The youngest daughter is a bratty and rebellious teen. In one scene, I sense I am in the car with the mom. We are in a grocery store parking lot. She backs out and then goes in reverse all the way out to the street. So we're driving down the street in reverse. Then she brakes and turns hard. The car starts to skid around and ends up going straight forward on the street. But it's a one lane street in both directions and we narrowly miss hitting an oncoming car.

Now I'm back in the house, watching the show again on TV. I am worried that it's getting late and I need to leave soon. I look and see several clocks. On on the TV, one on the VCR, and a couple other alarm clocks on top of the TV. They all show different times. I don't know which one to believe. So I leave the room to find a clock I can trust. End.

(the setting and kitchen, office, views are exactly like my real life house)

I am in my kitchen and all around me are people everywhere, some i no and some i dont know.....There was a real feeling something monumental was happening. I walked in and saw a bloody knife on the desk and called for everyones attention about it. two people were missing and some of us wanted to search for them and others felt they were unimportant..... I started to search my office and saw a black shadow running around under the u shaped desk.... I was looking uder the desk when i heard a loud trumpet, I looked out my window at the view of the mountain range and saw a bright box shaped light with gold vines wraping it i ran to the kitchen sliding door to watch it closer....it had other lights making a u shape in the distant view. it came closer and as it came closer some people became very excited and others enraged with anger.....some couldnt wait and others were ready to kill. I woke up before it arrived

Ive seen posts about dream designs matching people theyve seen. My"Zeus design", as ive come to find as the meanings of these symbols we randomly see are from when zeus split the human heart claiming it was too powerful. so i guess id be saying, i think my soul mate has the same symbol as a tattoo on her wrist. anyone with more insight, please help?

This is the closest thing to a truly lucid dream that I've experienced to date. It's now a recurring dream I suppose, since it's happened once or twice before. In this one, I fade in and out of awareness (that I am dreaming) and seem to have some limited control at times.
In the beginning, I'm back in that funhouse mansion - but now, the changing rooms have all stopped, like a powered-down amusement park. It almost seems like they were the same rooms all along as they are now. Was the rest all an illusion?
I'm somewhere on the second floor - whoever I am. I'm dressed in a light black robe and I have red hair (I don't).
I make my way through the rooms and down the stairs to the exit. I'm a little afraid to go, but I have to. There are points where I close my eyes in anticipation of what I'll see in the rooms - events are the same as the first time I dreamed this, and in this dream I remember that. For a moment, though, I'll remember either who I am or that I am dreaming and move more confidently. The feeling would fade away after a short time.
After besting the trials of the manor, I exit into a dark and humid urban environment. Before me is a long straight road, with hazy light fixtures on either side. It looks like I'm seeing it through a car window, but I'm just standing there. Elsewhere there is a grid of featureless buildings and between them, a labyrinth of little roads. A few people come and go.
Someone speaks to me -- I don't remember ever seeing him -- and I am running as he does, following some unfamiliar girl. She falls and is injured, and a man appears and carries her. He's stocky, but quite agile, and fairly vulgar from what I remember him muttering.
The disembodied voice is telling me that I am looking at one point in my life, in the universe, on a time line. That everything has already "happened," and as I hear him, things slow down. For a moment I feel aware again, and I move back and forth through time by a few seconds. It feels more like reading a book, though -- but I don't feel disillusioned. It seems so right and reassuring.
We three runners come together before some fourth figure -- the source of the voice, no doubt. Some words are exchanged but things have faded heavily and I enter a different dream.

My dream recall really improved tonight, I had a lot of dreams, but I really remember a lot of fragments rather than these long and drawn out scenarios. I know that looking back it's actually very hard for me to distinguish some of my dreams from reality because they are mostly mundane and I have the PassObs state so pervasive in my dreams.

Dream 1-- HellBoy Reloaded

This movie has nothing to do with Hellboy, except that it has the main actress from the movie. I am PassObs in this dream, watching the movie as it unfolds before me. It feels like I'm caught in the trailer because she is narrating the whole time as I am observing, and there is a lot of mental commentary going on in the background of my mind.

So, the dream starts with her talking about herself and how she was a confused girl or something looking for love. Then I see a scene where she is inside of a giant cake that is being pushed down the hall. She has a similar costume as if she were in the movie Hellboy, thus the title. She says she is looking for love, and that her whole life turned around after this one event.

The cake gets pushed into a restaurant. And it's directly in the middle. Suddenly there are 5 guys, who I recognize as all competing for her love, that burst out in a murdering spree everyone in the restaurant. There are three guys who I basically discard and don't pay attention to. There is one guy with red hair, who I can't think of at the moment, and the last one is Wolverine! haha.

So I see Wolverine kill people, and then he takes this one guy out of the room by his claws. This whole time I'm thinking "how does she gets these men to like her?" "Maybe she just displays her real personality and whether or not they like her doesn't actually affect her because she has so many people who like her".. It's a really intricate thought process that I'm not doing justice to here, but I felt sad and depressed while thinking the thoughts. I was looking at the movie as a type of archetype for how to act, and I had this mental cycle that basically went "I'm not good enough, how do I get better?, the movie knows the answer so watch the movie and learn the right way."

Anyway, I follow Wolverine out into where he dragged the guy, and suddenly I'm in my cabana back in Dallas. I can't say for sure what happened after this because I had another dream at 5am that really scares me and might be a true account about what I did, but I am not for sure because I can only remember what I said happened.

Dream 2-- 5am continuation of dream 1

So, in this dream, everything repeats just like dream 1. When I follow Wolverine out I become aware that I am part of an assassination squad, and our group name is on this serving tray that looks exactly like what they would bring you for an order or room service. Once again, I am in my cabana.

I look around, and I am in this rectangular room, which doesn't actually resemble my cabana at all except the ground is carpetted a light blue and the doors are white. The tray disappears as I look back, and it is replaced by three of my high school friends: Stewart, AK, and a third person. I immediately announce to them that this is a dream and that I had just experienced this situation earlier, but I don't become lucid.

I explain to them in detail exactly what had happened, or at least what I remember. I cannot be sure if in this dream I am giving a true account of what happened in the original dream, but I seem pretty damn convinced, and everything I was describing was accurate.

So, I tell this is a dream, and I show them what I did. I walk over to a door, and I say, "I opened this door, and there's a bed and a TV, and I watched the TV from the bed." I open the door, and it initially it doesn't seem like there is a bed inside but I can see the TV. It doesn't matter, I don't look long enough to care. I walk over to another door and say and here is the exit. As I am walking over I can see the look on their faces is really freaked out/surprised. Both of their eyes are like in a way that is really exaggerated. I can't believe I didin't lucid this!! That's the end.

Dream 3-- Airport Group Bathroom

Some of my dreams that I have now-a-days seem to give me memories of dreams I've had in the past but WHILE I'M STILL IN THE DREAM. It's very weird. When I wake up I cannot remember having any dream like it, but in my dream mind I am sure of my location, and it all seems very familiar. In fact, I have memories of how the other dreams went, but they only last as long as my dream.

In this dream, I am carrying a blue tub, which is a debate term for one of the 10 gallon plastic containers that carry everything. I am walking through an airport, and I think that is my luggage. I know I need to take a shower before I board because I don't want to be gross for the flight. I walk over to this huge gray table where there is a security guard sitting down. He is black.

I put down my tub on the table, and I open it a little maybe to see what's inside but change my mind because he calls me over. He asks from my student ID, I give him my college student ID, and then I walk over to bathroom. I don't remember walking through any door, but I appear in the bathroom at the back right hand corner. I am only wearing a towel at this point. This is a huge square room where there are lines of sinks along the wall, and people sitting in stools near each sink. At the opposite corner (front left) I see a door that is slightly open and appears to be a shower. Where I am seems to be some sort of sauna.

I walk around looking for an empty spot, but I'm not saying anything. I think I'm in PassObs at this point because the scenery is so still and I'm not interacting at all. I find an empty sink and put down a white book I had in my hands apparently. As I sit, I get tapped on the shoulder. It's a black woman wearing what looks like blue scrubs as if she were a nurse.

She says something but I can't hear her because I have my right earbud in randomly. I take it out and do a sort of curt "what?" and she asks me a question I can't remember and I say "no." she proceeds to tell me that I am very rude and that I need to watch the way I speak. This comment makes me really self-conscious and ends the dream because I go into a PassObs state and everything begins to turn black. I think about how my comment really was rude and how I might actually be a rude person without realizing it and that I don't want to be rude in the future.

Dream Fragment 4-- Spider vs. Cat

This dream was a drawn out battle between what seemed like two comic super hero characters that were going to kill each other. Once again, I was passive observer in this dream, watching the scene as if it were a movie and all I could do was watch and think. We are in this darkened room, and I see the SpiderGuy (who is white with black hair, long sideburns, and I can't remember clothing) getting his head hit against a wall. As his head smashes against the wall, he looks to the right, which is looking directly at me. Suddenly, he morphs into a spider, and he crawls around trying to escape.

Because it's night, he is very sneaky and goes underneath a bed that I am on. The opponent, who I never see, starts to wait. After a little bit of no action, the spider crawls along the side of a wall at a fast speed toward the door at the other end of this darkened room. I see the opponent now, in the form of a cat, jump up and try to get him. Freaked out, the spider crawls all the way back underneath the bed, and we wait again.

We wait for a long time, maybe 2 minutes, and then these thoughts enter my head like, he's decided never to come out, what a brilliant strategy. And because thoughts determine reality, I stop thinking about the fight altogether, and just pay attention to this cat that is now sitting near the foot of this bed I am on. The cat, which is orange and white, starts to move toward me a little after I bring my attention to it.

It doesn't reach me though, it turns and climbs into what looks like a crib. There is a black cat that hops in from out of my vision. I assume that these cats know eachother because they start to snuggle. I observe how they interact with each other and try to determine what their relationship is like based on their behavior and what signals they are trying to send to each other. This is my classic PassObs state, where I am just watching an event and being purely analytical about it. I am having these thoughts like "oh, the orange cat is moving away slightly agitated so it doesn't like the black cat that much. The black cat is really needy for attention and affection, but the orange cat doesn't want to give it to him. I wonder if the orange cat knows and is just too cool or what"

Stuff like that. Whenever I go deep into PassObs, I end up either switching dream scenes completely because my environment turns all black and I lose focus on any particular sight because I am caught up in my thoughts or I wake up.

Dream 5-- High School Picnic

This dream starts off in a really nice house. I am with my friend, Will, from high school and apparently his dad and some other people. We all walk into this room that looks like a classroom, but seems to be part of the mansion as well. Everyone sits down on top of a desk because there are no chairs in this room. Some people have some bud that they are smoking and I don't have any so I start looking for some.

Somehow I know that underneath these desks there are drawers that I and pull out. I try a couple and there is nothing in them. I walk over to a separate isle of desks and try again. I find what looks like purely a rolling paper, but as I pull it out I hear a dad say "oh look he got one" so I decide to light it. I have to squish it together and roll it with my fingers for it to remain taut and not fall apart. As I am smoking it I get the feeling like I am actually getting high. My vision starts to blur a little and I completely relax into the situation. My analytical mind goes blank and I just start walking along. I end up walking outside where there are a bunch of other high school friends having a picnic.

They are sitting on these wooden tables that have pizza and chips on them. I see Gefen, and Doug, and David C., and Sean. All of these people I have seen smoke bud at one point or another, so the connection here is clear. As I am walking around, I am trying to have conversations with some of them, but I get in my head and analytical about what we are talking about, which makes me want to move on and do something else because the analytical aspect makes me really uncomfortable and uneasy. I can't talk to anybody without my mind firing a million thoughts per second, so I just wander around high for a while. I never finish my blunt, but I continue to smoke it throughout the dream.

False Awakening 1-- Talking to Daniel

So I am flying to Boston on Thursday, so I wanted to call my friend over at BU to hang out and chill. I did this during a False Awakening and our conversation was like Me: "hey man, I'm coming into town this weekend" "oh nice man.. (something about his roommate)" "I'll be there Thursday Friday Saturday wan to chill" "(says something nonresponsive)" (SILENCE) in my head I go PassObs thinking about whether I should say "are you free?" or just drop the conversation and take his non-committal response as a no. Then I start thinking about all the cool stuff he must be doing in BU and how he just chills until someone asks him to do something and then goes with the flow that way. WOW I get up in my head!!

False Awakening 2-- Comments from Matthew

Yesterday I had a 30 minute conversation with my TA in Writing class about how to do this upcoming project. He talked to me a lot about my analytical mind and how I like to tackle the larger, meta issues of a subject, which sometimes forces me away from the more pragmatic and applicable problems that the prompt is trying to point to. These comments started me thinking about how that applies to my life in everyday situations and how I could change that behavior or what I would need to do in order for that behavior to change.

In my dream, I am writing down geometrical shapes and words on graph paper while listening to a distant voice that sounds exactly like Matthew. He is telling me in my dream that I am too critical and that I need to settle down and relax. I am sorting through the paper trying to find where I put these comments. He is explaining that I already know everything I just need to organize the thoughts and make them cogent instead of muddling the issue and trying to make it more complex. I think I am awake this whole time because I am in my dorm room and everything seems normal.

After enough of these comments, I go into PassObs of self-criticism about my behavior and my ability to learn things and write essays, which causes the dream scene to go black and I wake up.

Dream 6-- Arguments with Friends about Gender

So I am in a separate darkened room with two people that I think I know. They seem to be related because they are lying in the same bed, while I am in my own chair, which I think is a bean bag chair. At first, I am facing them and we are talking about the difference between guys and girls. We are talking about it from the parent's point of view and which would be harder to raise and why.

I don't know what we were saying specifically, but out of synchronicity, the TV turns on, and I swivel around somehow in my bean bag chair. The TV character looks like Jon Stewart and he is explaining how for guys the cost of being raised is like $2 because we don't need anything. For girls it's like $50,000 because they need tampons, bras, and all of these other materials. After the show is over I turn around and we all start laughing.

Dream Fragment 7-- Nurse Mom

I am laying in the bed I sleep in whenever I go to my grandparent's house. Instead of being normal, my legs are hanging off the side and I am lying on some pillows, with my face turned to the side looking at a TV screen with some medicial show playing. I feel sick, and I transition from being inside my body to going PassObs and being a part of the show through the camera. Next, my mom walks into the room with some soup. This dream occurred chronologically after I had the dream where I smoked the blunt, so I was really worried that she would notice the smell of bud. This is an example where I have memories of previous dreams inside of my dream.

She comes over and pats me on the back in a comforting way. I start to get really paranoid and freaked out that she knows, which forces me into PassObs mode and then out of the dream!! Grr!

Dream Fragment 8-- Talking to a DC

This isn't lucid, but I'm in my dorm room talking to a DC. He is explaining to me his experiences with LD and how it helped him in his life. He explains to me how he used to be depressed and lacking in creativity. Then he found the world of LD and he never wanted to leave. It allowed him to fully explore his imagination and take a leap into another world. I suddenly get this vibrant thought of me flying over a city and just racing through the wind. There is a great breeze going through my hair, but the scene is amazing and awesome, and now I am super motivated to fly in a LD!


Overall, my dream recall really improved tonight, but I also think that I was not getting very deep sleep. I was tossing and turning a lot which I think kept my consciousness level higher than normal, but also affected my rest. I didnt hear my WILD alarm go off at 5am, but I still had many FAs which is a sign that my WILDing techniques are getting better. I feel like I am having more and more obvious chances to DILD, which is really encouraging. I am focusing more on RCing during the day and making them serious RCs. I will take deep breaths and start looking around and feeling my clothes in order to get a mixture of sense perceptions. I tell myself throughout the day "When I am dreaming, I will look at my hands and recognize the dream state." I'm really motivated on this WILD journey, and I think that with a little more practice I will start having these WILDs and DILDs tonight! I can see it happening, there is just that little extra step of realizing shit is weird in the dream. I will have to start paying more attention to my reality so that I can say "hey this is a little weird, I'm going to RC" just to ingrain the habit.

For a while I had these dreams that I was either in a relationship with or just friends with this man. I know who the guy is but I've never met him before, heck i've never even had a conversation with him before! But he keeps coming into my dreams!

Last night i dreamed he was sitting with one of my old friends outside my house and my old friend asked him about his boyfriend (which was weird because he isn't gay) and he didn't acknowledge me at all. I woke up from that dream only to dream about him agian! And this time he was my best friend! I was such a good friend with him that I remember just walking into his "house" and his mom just being like "Come on in!" and we just hung out for what seemed like hours! I remember being so happy just hanging out with guy. And everytime it's the same. I dream about him and I just feel so incredibly happy that when I wake up I just get sad!

What could this mean?

Cruise Ship
Non-lucid

This one is from several nights ago, I just hadn't posted it online. It was pretty strange, and confusing even just after I woke, not to mention nearly a week later... But here we go anyway
We are in some sort of fancy cruise ship. There is red carpeting with gold trim in all the corridors. The walls are stained cherry, and there are gold/brass fancy light fixtures protruding from the walls at regular intervals. To my right is a super old telephone, it's hooked up to a pc so that guests can make calls on the old phone, and still get the experience, even though the technology is outdated. I get the sense that I and several others have been transported through time and find ourselves on this ship.[/INDENT]
Everything gets very vague after this point.
I've got a sense of being forward in time, seeing problems in the world. Friends are dead. Relationships are ruined. We return home and fix the problems that I saw in the future. As a final act, I must go into an abandoned movie theater. I'm trapped in here, but can communicate with the outside world. There is an old man on the outside with a map of the realm I'm trapped in. He sits staring at it, while on the inside, I'm trying to find a way out. After a while, he figures out that it somehow relates to chess, he circles a few spaces on his map with a sharpie, and I play a game of chess with an unknown force, and escape. Hurray!

-----

Weird Movie
Non-lucid

I seem to be watching a movie. I'm not participating at all in this dream.
The dream begins with very cintematic camera angles. It shows the stomach of a woman. Then a hip with a thong being tied around it. Lips with lipstick being applied. Eyes with Eye shadow being applied. Camera zooms out to reveal it was all done by a 14-15 year old girl. I get the sense that this is a whorehouse in Britain. A 20ish boy knocks on the door, and is answered by an overly made-up woman of 45. She tells him that the girl is not ready yet because he's too early, and tells him that he knows that. In effort to keep his business, she calls another girl to come in and 'keep him busy' until the young girl from the beginning is ready.
A 20ish girl enters the room, and begs the older woman 'Nooo, please nooo!' etc. Girl and boy go into a side room. Boy appologizes for what he said to her last time. I get the feeling that it was very terrible for her. She says 'I thought you went back home.'
The boy replies 'I did but when I saw the British space shuttle on the news, I had to come back.'
I wake up. Lol that was wierd.
I reach for my dream journal to enter my dreams. I am still in bed, with the notebook on my lap, pen in my fingers trying to recall my dreams.
I wake up again... Wow, my first FA.
It's funny though, when I wake up for real I can still feel the lasting feeling of the pen between my fingers. I RC to be sure, and sure enough, I'm really awake. Oh well.

(I was a hybrid of Nicole/somebody in this one. At times it was me, and at other times it wasn't me. For the sake of this dream being recorded, I will say that it wasn't me.)

Nicole was doing her daily rounds in the medical bay when she noticed some people were beginning to act strange. Not violent - just. . . Out of the normal. She noted this in her daily log and went to bed. The next day, things were drastically different. People were. . . Mutating. Turning into something that most definetely was not human. Her parter, whom had been doing rounds with her, told her things were changing. Not everything was going to be the same after this. His face was beginning to melt into some kind of lumpy mass of flesh, and when Nicole asked him what h meant, he simply lifted his hand and pointed.

Necromorphs.

One of them was tearing into somebody with obvious enjoyment.

Nicole gasped, and her coworker simply turned calmly and began to walk away. He showed them to a safe house - but it honestly didn't matter. The entire colony, which was situated in the ocean, began to go to hell. The dome that covered it cracked, and the ocean quickly rushed in to cover everything. Nicole quickly got to a terminal, and began to call Isaac, hands shaking and voice barely audible.

He got it.

And the first thing he did was scream. He had to go back into hell to save the person he loved, and it wasn't fair to him, because he'd just come back from the Ishimura. Regardless, he found his newer, better version of his armor. He strapped it on, and with a blinding flash of light, the suit's systems came on.

I woke up right as Isaac was showing up and Nicole was scavenging through supplies methodically in a closet, trying to determine how many people she could save and how many would try to kill her from trying.

The past two nights I've had complicated lucid dreams, that I only remember in fragments. I'm not remembering to remain motionless when I wake up, and every move I make weakens my memory of the dreams. They are very weirdly disjointed dreams that possibly mark different brain modes and rhythms. Or possibly just minor adjustments of my head while asleep?

I was in a multi-storied apartment building crossed with a community center. It had vibrant red checkered floors and lots of friendly people. I was with ex-girlfriends off and on. And I was also with a group of friends and family. At some point I was lucid and started to fly. I vaguely remember a flying Disneyland style tea cup! I was using it to fly others around with me. I also remember passing through "a rip in the dreamscape."

To my horror, I remember very little about the events leading up to the fantastic conclusion:

I was standing in front of my Mother and Ex-girlfriend. I was holding a cylindrical rod in my hands. I asked them in a somewhat smug tone: "Do you like how I merged the dream world with the real world, permanently?"

I remember they were reclined with drinks, looking very comfortable in the luxury high rise apartment I was standing in. I remember reviewing in my mind the portals that merged the "two worlds." The rod was about 1-ft long, made of fine grain wood, and had two silvery caps on each end. Similar in shape to a pipe bomb.

I fell asleep listening to music as normal. Some songs made it into my dreams that I recall. So I was in my house, and talking to my brother maybe a bit, I was showing him a song though (which was playing) I got through the whole song, and it was playing through a cupboard in my kitchen. The song was "As I Went Out One Morning" I was just standing there, thinking abut the song as we listened. I'm not sure If he said he liked it or not. Then the second song came on "The Simple Story" And my brother was singing this song, I was surprised how much he sounded like the actual singer(He is good with impressions in real life.). I didn't even know he heard the song before(Probably hasn't). So yeah that was it, still in the kitchen. ALSO, these songs may have made it into my dream, it seems awful familiar(I looked back at the songs that played and they rang a bell) "Eight Days a Week" and "Crocodile Rock" seems quite familiar, that order and all, but I'm not really sure,

Second dream. This one was war themed. I am not sure at the order to much of this, so I'll just list it.
-I was at my old house, and it was getting attacked. There was like a resistance in the house, and people all out front and stuff. I think at some point I had to open the door because a friendly was outside.
-Some soldier wanted a promotion, and he listed all these reasons why he should get one (He had piece of paper outlining it all). One of the reasons was that this one guy was already promoted, way long ago, and he(the guy wanting to get promoted) deserves it more.
-There was the flame-thrower from Worms: Armageddon. It worked exactly the same, but was first person.
-There was training, and there were a bunch of shelve units with different weapons backpacks etc. Once you stopped at one, you had to use it properly or whatever. At some point this place got attacked, and we failed (maybe it was a test?) so we had to try again, I dove and grabbed a shotgun properly.
-There was a camp, a Sargent or something arrived there. The soldiers were drunk (they'd been drinking anyways)
-I was walking my dog, and it seemed everything came up so I couldn't walk him. Like I couldn't climb the path or something. I arrived at the top of a hill, and a guard tower told me I had to turn around. The ground was scorched.
-there was like a boss fight at the end.

non-dream - non-lucid - lucid

17/11/10 The dream was massive but I remember little before actually turning lucid.
There was something about a mini LAN event.
Thomas Marcusen (old school friend) was there.
Stoffer was there.
Then there is a massive park of some description, the sun is shining.
We are setting up tables for a public event.
I feel like I don't quite belong there, although I am a common face in the group.
There is a woman from my study who is sort of taking the lead.
I grab some milk and start drinking it out of the carton, but am careful not to let my lips touch it in case anyone else want some.
Think there is a quick thinking process about mouth-mouth transmitted diseases.
Rasmus is talking about how his brother has come home for the weekend.
He has gone to a festival and returned a day later without saying he was going, now with a woman in his bed, although this woman later is a man.
The boys and I are going to a fight between some random (played by the actor playing Cas is Supernatural) guy and Geaorge Foreman, who is actually Evander Holyfield, but we call him George.

The fight is messy and unclean, but the crowd seems to love it so an atmosphere is building and the fighters embrace it. George seems to have the upper hand and at one point knocks the other guy clean out, that is the first time we see it. Although we are physically present at the fight there is still a replay function and seen from another angle the other boxer returns to his feet very swiftly, which I find a bit strange. There is a break up and Cas takes the opportunity to throw George to the ground and gets a stern warning from the ref, however there is limited the ref can really do at this point due to the intense atmosphere surrounding the fight. George knocks him through the ropes and to the floor and at this point I am standing in the ring and start a chant that takes the crowd with me “To the Floor!”. George takes it to the floor and starts stomping on the poor guys face, I feel a little bad for this.

After this I am in a class room of sorts and here Cas is teaching something concerning sleep cycles. I feel very tired and I am walking around in a beige suit, hmm it has been a long time since I have worn this suit (technically I don't have the vest I was wearing either IWL). I feel like I have pulled an all-nighter, but I am there out of respect for the guy. We are old friends after all. It is a bit like a film scene where two main characters look at each other in silent understanding, except I don't understand at all why I know the man, but I know I am given the context of the situation. He is teaching something about re-arranging letters in words, that although slightly amusing seems pointless, but relevant somehow. He is walking around the class and spots me, I wink at him and he comes over. He abandons the class because we have something to talk about, which I think is a goodbye. We go to his flat and I lay down on the bed and shortly after so does he although he takes his clothes off first, which means it is getting slightly uncomfortable for me. We talk about something and towards the end of the conversation I give him a brief hug making sure he is covered in a duvet before doing it. I get up.

I look around and my eyes fall upon a glass covered surface. It is dark, but still the surface doesn't produce a reflection of any kind. Hang on a minute this is what I was just paying attention to in waking life. I am dreaming. I talk to the professor who is supposed to be an expert on sleep cycles, yet he has never heard of the topic of Lucid dreaming. I spend a lot of time rubbing my hands and activating my senses while I talk to him about lucid dreaming in order to stabilise the dream. I try flying through the window as a demonstration, doesn't work, damnit. Ah ok, just going to try to fly through it backwards, success! I am now in a park of some description, the sun is shining brightly and everyone in the park seems to be wearing a smile of peace and enlightenment. I run over the grass and while doing so I try and pick up a ball using Telekinesis, which I am only somewhat successful with (The ball moves in the direction I want, but can't keep up with my pace). I leave it for a bit and try and think about what to do. I am not going to call Mitzu, as I am afraid she will just end the dream prematurely so instead I decide to try out something new, to see if I can make lightning shoot out of my hands, which I can't although my arm starts throbbing in the effort.

I try and think if there are some tasks I should be doing as I am manoeuvring around the city paying attention to all the details to remain in the dream. Minka (very old and dear friend) appeasr on a bike and I think that there was something about being thankful, or was that last month? Who cares, I call out to her to stop, she is riding a bike. She says she will come back in one minute, I tell her we are dreaming, she stops pronto and gets off the bike. I tell her I am thankful for her always being kind and a good friend and hug her. I carry on down the street trying to get my phone to work, it sort of does, but I can't seem to get to the texting interface propper so I can't write kaiser, gah some other time maybe.

I fly around for a bit thinking about what to do, damn I have a poor creative imagination. Ah well, I recently had a dream about duelling Darth Vader, where I wished I was lucid so I expect him to pop up around the corner, which he does. He hands me a sabre and we kick it off and I demonstrate my very limited force powers to my friends as they appear. Although it is great fun being in a sabre fight it was actually more entertaining when I wasn't lucid, when the sense of fear actually meant something however I enjoyed it enough for it to have been worthwhile, I mean it is after all a light sabre. I realise I have been focusing too much on Vader and the dream starts to fade as I wake up.