non-lucid

I was playing some Doom mod with SilentEternity. I forgot to set difficulty level when we started, but when i checked it was one level below maximum. I asked if i should set to max, but then we decided to leave it as is. The level started outside, then there was enemy base, two other marines were helping us, but i am not sure if they were player controlled or bots. Some parts of the level were some platforming puzzles, like there was one part that required jumping between small rocky platforms in the canyon.
Later on there were some ruins to which we got through teleporter. There were alot of big powerful enemies, and it were not enemies from Doom, but some weird creatures, one of them was giant thing covered with vines and it was shooting very damaging vine projectiles. After going through the ruins we were back outside and we have reached our target which was corner of the map with a number of bosses that could be fought in any order. The first one was some warrior dude, which was supposed to be powerful, but i had plasma shotgun that fired green flaming projectiles, each shot of which was taking out like 1/10 of boss's health bar. Then there was some big crab-looking boss and big monkey-looking boss, which we dealt with easily as well. I started thinking that we should have upped the difficulty.
After the game i was posting something on dreamviews and then i was in some dark room in different place and i was talking about something life related with gab, who apparently was male( ). I recall we were talking about something pretty deeply, but can't recall what exactly. Then i got some weird message from bot on Youtube, but it was not just bot, it was official YouTube bot of some kind, and started talking about that. Soon the dream ended.

I remember waking up thinking this was a healing dream. Well, that was the intension anyway: I had a pounding sinus headache which would not do away with medications, so I napped in the hope that I would feel better afterwards. I now do feel a bit better: still got a headache, but a bit more manageable.

In the dream I kept getting PMs by Sageous. I don't recall actually reading them and no contents or subjects, but I remember opening them, and they kept coming.

I wonder whether this dream is more like a metaphor for my headache: being bombarded by PMs?

Sunday 5/5/13

Last night, bed 1:15am - 6am (Didn't fall asleep till 2am)

WBTB 6am-7am. Had a cup of one bag mint tea with green tea and one bag of peppermint tea just minutes before nap. Got up once at 8 to go potty. Dream afterwards. Got vibrations twice, after turned on my left side, but no LD.

Thought about ToTM. I imagined, how I will detach my thumb and put it back on with helo of either duct tape, or laser shooting from my other finger.

This is what I got:

Non-lucid nap DR: I'm walking down the street, that looks like is in village where my gramma lives. Single story houses. I'm going to a house I have previously been to. But I don't remember well how it looks like. I overhoot by a few houses and have to track back. I recognize the house now.

Inside, I'm standing at the kitchen sink with some older lady on the other side of it. I'm showing her my left middle finger. It looks bruised and deformed. She tells me "honey, you have ? fly worms in there". I look closer and I see heavy movement under the skin.

That's when my finger breaks open at the knuckle and out come pouring black worms. 1 inch long, kinda skinny, color of black, coagulated blood. And it seems like that's not enough, bunch of smallish beetles come rushing out too.

Worms fall in the sink and I wash them down with water. Lady is complaining "now I'm gonna have a worm smell in my sink". I can see, how that would be upseting.

Bugs scatter all over. But I chase them down, until there is just one left. It's little more colorful than others. It's a special bug. I keep swatting at it with a ruler, but keep missing. Then it gets under some stuff on the desk. As I move the items around, I see a sea of fleas on the desk. I figure, I better let them be. But I do get the last bug.

There was another dream after this one, but I only feel, what it was about. Will keep thinking about it.

Date: 1 May 2013

Pre bed: 400mg valerian

Total sleep time: 6.30 hrs, pre travel

Recall: Had vivid dreams today, but my recall is very weak. A strange combination perhaps due to the valerian. Had to rush out of bed so that may have contributed too.

Overall impressions: It feels like I had a great night, whatever I was dreaming left me with positive feelings.

Dream1: I went somewhere before that and now am on my way back. Following me are the brothers of someone who looks like my boyfriend. He is Armenian and obviously so are his brothers. Overall positive feelings towards these guys. I think about them and how their family is looking for someone like me, to get married to their son. I also think about how I have figured out they are Armenian and find myself in an Armenian church.

I am back from wherever I came and me and another DC not sure if he was Armenian, are on the street. I am looking at the sunset and commenting it. The sun looks a bit strange but since a few days ago I was looking at a very strange sun phenomenon, caused by the setting sun and some rain clouds, I thought I am seeing something similar.

Fragment 2 mini-DILD: I am on the street and suddenly a strange creature, like a game-like monster with a skirt, similar to a Cyclops maybe, appears out of nowhere. I immediately become lucid and tell myself not to be afraid and that this is a dream. He vanishes as fast as he appeared, I find this a bit strange. Memory gap. (I did not know about TOTM May at the time, this is game-related residual I guess).

I suppose that after he was gone, I lost my focus and lucidity and engaged back in the dream. I have no other recall.

Well, I woke a went back to sleep multiple times last night without writing down or even trying hard to remember my dreams. A night wasted

But I do remember that one of my dreams, the last one before i got up, my mother had come with my sister and brother to visit me at university. I met up with my sister beforehand (wow, this is literally coming back to me as I'm typing), and she told me that we had to meet my Mother in the Tesco's car park. I told her that I needed to go back to tidy my room, because it was a tip (this is true) and she would kill me if she saw it. My sister said there was no time since we had to go to Tesco's at that very moment, but she informed me that at 4 mum had to go and pick my brother up from a clinic and then come to see me, and I could tidy my room before that.

I admit, not the most interesting dream I've ever had . But it made me realize that my mother is in quite a few of my dreams. Since I don't see her often, due to me being at uni, I feel like I should question it more but dream me just goes along with it. In a dream i had last week, I was at home. I didn't even think "Hey this is strange, I don't live here anymore".

Maybe next time I see her in a dream I will actually think about whats happening.

haven't updated my dj for a while.. got lazy. have to get back into the habit. this was a very long dream and my descriptions don't really do justice to the feelings of absolute terror it inspired at points.


i dreamt that i lived in a big house with some other teenagers. occasionally my boyfriend came over. we played video games and cuddled and it was very good. i remember feeling anxious about how to arrange our next meeting.
then i was walking around downtown. it was sunny out. some store had gone out of business and they were giving away their furniture. i found a large bed, whose bottom panel comprised several dressers. i opened each of the dressers and i discovered very elaborate blankets and dresses, as well as some scraps of paper.
there was writing on the paper. although it was in "polish", i was able to understand it. (i don't know any polish). the words frightened me. i cannot remember what they said but the content was very paranoid, surreal and fragmented. it chilled me to the bone.
i went in search of the woman to whom the bed & these papers belonged. (she was an old decrepit polish woman with long grey-brown hair.) i was wandering through downtown at night. i remember also seeing medieval-style maps of eastern europe that the woman had made. an atmosphere of visceral horror pervades this dream segment.
i finally found the woman. at first i was terrified of her and i tried to hide from her as one might try to evade a bear. later i took pity on her and invited her to a formal dinner with some of the people from the dream house. she wouldn't eat at first but i got her to eat a small amount.
then i got into a car with a man in his late 20s and we drove around downtown, which was now sunny. there were two mario figurines in... uh... the little things on the inside of car doors where you can store tiny stuff. one of the figurines toppled over and turned into a waluigi figurine with oddly coloured, very dark (but not black) clothes. when this happened to the second figurine i knew the polish woman was dead. i felt relieved.
we knew that some scrawny ginger guy was responsible for her death and we took a different route home to avoid him. when i was home my boyfriend was there and we decided to go to a café called "the simoleon". this café was buffet-style: they had many sweets on offer and you could load up your plate with as many as you wanted. i ate a weird pudding thing and it tasted good.
next my boyfriend and i went to the mall. he wanted to buy a watch. there were two stores that sold watches, an absurdly expensive designer store and american eagle. the watches were bands of engraved black leather with detachable clock pendants that hung down from the leather band. my boyfriend went into american eagle while i tried to steal one of the expensive watches. i could not steal them because they were attached to the display rack with strong magnets.
i joined my boyfriend in american eagle but when i tried to leave the alarm went off. i hadn't actually stolen anything so i was confused. some people took me into the back of the mall to interview me. they thought i had tampered with mail? one of the people commented to the other that they had heard me talking about incest and even if i hadn't done anything they should arrest me for that.
at one point i became half-lucid and sort of willed the dream to become less stressful. i walked away from the interview and entered the "back" of the mall, which was where all the extra items were stored. i went into the luxury store and looked around. i also recall going into a store called "HERON CLOTHES" which sold low-quality clothes with small embroidered emblems of forest animals (no herons though). the dream ended shortly after.

I have a new habit of writing down before sleep a few things to watch out for during sleep, elements for my day that are likely to make their way into my dreams:

For example last night due to that thread on lucifer followers on DV, I was expecting to maybe dream of the devil or something like that, and I was all ready to face him and tell him that he is not real if I became lucid. Lol

Instead I dreamed about cleaning my fish tank. Of course, I should have realized that the guilt over postponing the water change yesterday would get into my dream! Alas, I did not become lucid.

My fish tank in my dream was not at all like in real life. It had some sort of skull decoration, which was buried under something else - a hidden skeleton? It had yellow sand and tree roots. I did not quite see or don't remember what creature lived in my dream fish tank, but I have the sense that it was quite inappropriate for a tank this size and maybe even for a tank at all. (For all i know with all my kitten dreams lately, it might have been a kitten.) I was trying to remove things that leach calcium into the water before refilling the tank (this is due to my trying to sort out in reality how to adjust alkalinity to suit snails, but actually they probably need more calcium not less).

Another dream fragment: I also dreamed something about left hand and upper hand.

I was in my kitchen making some food downstairs and I saw some strange looking man outside, he had black slicked back hair and a ragged shirt. I went outside to confront him and he had a friend, they were coming towards me slowly and I put my guard up. I started to get really angry that these men were on my property and wouldn't explain themselves so I told them I had a crow-bar inside the door and if they tried anything I'd knock them out. Then my friend Zak came out from my house and joined me, (Zak's like as buff as a freaking lion just FYI) so then I knew we could take them easily, I punched the left one in the jaw and he got knocked out cold, Zak started to fight the other. I can't remember the rest of the fragment.

The first thing i remember was a huge green gas planet. A horde of silver and orange alien craft encircling the planet in a ring, and beginning to transfer off and come toward me. Someone was yelling "Zerg rush! Zerg rush!"
Boom! I'm piloting this huge space battleship, standing up on a bridge. People are all around me sitting on computers and talking into headsets. There is this huge panoramic view of a chaotic battle taking place above the surface of the planet. I can control the ship by moving two levers while standing up. I can also give just about any command.
We are above an earth-like planet, with clouds and oceans and a rocky surface. It looks a little more desert-like than earth.
I should note that the dream (Despite being nonlucid) was very vivid, especially the view of the planet.
As we enter the atmosphere and come near the ground, I am careful not to let us hit any mountains. I notice that there are only a few other ships, and they all look very similar to the one I am piloting, at-least in their styling and shape. There are also a few small jet fighter type craft buzzing the larger ships and firing weapons.
I notice that there is a small control screen in front of me with a meter for the ship. It was sort of like a health bar from a video game, and when it hit the bottom. The ship was at about 50% health.
I look off to my left, at about ten o'clock. There is one of our ships, but it's much larger and more complex than the others. It's crashed into the ground on an angle so that the very front is pointed right at us.
The commander of the giant ship radios me. He says to get out of the way, and that even though his ship is down he's about to fire the main gun.
I begin to maneuver. But I am too late, the gun fires. My own ship gets rocked and begins to break up and crash into the ground. The huge panoramic window in-front of me shatters, and I willingly jump out.
I land in a fighter-craft, and fly low over the surface. I am pursued by enemy fighters, and proceed to eject. As I slowly come down, on a parachute, the dream nearly fades to black, but somehow continues.

I remember when I land, I am in the woods behind my neighborhood. None of the trees have leaves, so it must be wintertime. My youngest cousin is there, and he tells me about how he is working on experiments with shared daydreaming, where daydreams exist in real life or something to do with lucid dreaming.
It was complicated.
Anyways, he asks me to create a mouse. I place my hand on the ground and lift it up. Sure enough, a small gray mouse scurries out from under my hand and along a fallen branch. (Yipee, nonlucid dream control!)
Then he tells me that here is the real challenge. I have to create a cat. Ok, easy. I create a cat without any real thought. The same thing that happens when I create something in a lucid dreams (It starts out as a blue hologram, then converts to solid matter.) It turns out to be a black tabby with brown markings. The cat is also sitting on a small piece of cloth spread out on the forest floor, though it's only big enough for the cat.
My cousin creates a snake and says that the cat will fight the snake. It is a very small green snake. The cat and the snake have a very long battle, spending most of the time simply hissing at one another. The snake occasionally goes into this hole in the ground, but the hole is big enough that the cat can go in to.
Eventually the snake bites the cat on its front leg. I cast an invincibility spell on the cat, in hopes that the cat will not die. (Keep in mind, I was never actually lucid.) After awhile longer, I got bored and started to leave.
My cousin followed me. I started to tell him about lucid dreaming, and how I was using my lucid dream construction powers to create a dream base. I held up my hand, and the digital-style holograms presenting information filled the space around us. I don't think he could see them.
The last thing I could remember was a very young boy ran past me crying. He had long brown hair and a jacket. He looked back at me with a very hurt look as though I had betrayed him or something.

I was in some team and we were planning assault operation of some kind.

5/4/2013

Dreamed a woman and a man were dancing at some party...all of a sudden the female had the dance spotlight on her and she started dancing and doing all of these weird moves like she was in a dance competition. Everyone started to cheer her on as she did all the latest dance moves. The more pumped the crowd got, the harder she danced. She twisted her body into all kinds of shapes, jerked and spun around rocking out to the melody. At one point, she spun around so rapidly, her spiritual body double spun right out of her physical body and landed right in front of me ! The 'dancing-spiritual' body double was still in a full spinning rotation as the 'real' lady just kept on dancing. Even after the music had slowed down and the real lady and slowed down her dancing, her dancing spiritual double was still in front of me spinning away like a 'toy top'...then I woke up.


Question to myself: Why didn't I see this as a sign (the woman's body double) and do a reality check and become lucid ???

5/3/2013

Dreamed there were two woman and each one of them had a problem with the other. Several people had gathered to hear them sing and they were feuding and they asked me if I would not mind hearing them sing to determine who was the best. I told them that I would only judge the competition if they let me choose the song and they agreed that this would be alright. I told them they must sing a duet song together. They didn't want to, but they knew they had to since they already had agreed. I chose the song (can't remember what song it was) and they began to sing. By the end of the song, they could not remember why they were feuding in the first place :bravo:.

From 5/2/2013

Dreamed I was with a friend going on a trip on a huge boat made of sand. My friend could drive this boat everywhere in the city (water was not a requirement!) and he felt that he could also park his boat anywhere. We made it to the beach and all of us were in a happy mood. We sang songs with the radio all the way to the beach. We parked our boat to get some lunch, but when the waitress brought us our lunch, the lunch was made of sand also. As we ate our lunch made of sand, the place where we had parked was causing a problem and the owners of the parking lot (or restaurant) wanted us to move our sand boat...so we left .

Question to self: You know a boat can not sail on water made of out of sand, so this could have been your dream sign !

Saturday 5/4/13

last night bed 2am-9:30am

DR: I'm debating with someone, how in US, people don't greet each other when they see each other in the morning, or don't say "bye" when hanging up a phone call.

Going for a nap 11:15am -

05-04-2013 -- I am back working a shift at the Mercedes dealership I used to work at, and the other guard is hassling me because I can't seem to open my eyes ... literally. I can hear everything that is going on, but I can't see it because I can't wake up ... or maybe because I haven't fallen deep enough asleep. Anyway, he is also complaining that I am in the reception area, because they have changed policies, and they no longer want us in that area, even though that is where the security monitors are. I'm thinking if they want to make that big a fuss without actually bothering to tell me, they can fire me!

I've just come on, and the dealership is filled with hundreds of people ... far more than are ever here normally, and there seems to be a sort of party going on, with tons of people, including some lovely ladies, but I can't actually see any of the sales staff anywhere, so I have no idea what is going on. At least I can see, now.

Decide to go downstairs to use the restroom, just to find the doors to both restrooms have been kind of wallpapered over, so they are unavailable. I seem to remember some kind of employee restroom a little further back in the corridor by the parts department, so go to check there, but get distracted and return to the main showroom floor.

Where I find myself watching a fight between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin, and they are really going at it! At one point, the Savage Dragon jumps into things, as well! This can't be real, can it? I know super heroes don't really exist ... are they filming a movie or something? That may be it, because every time they turn to look our way, we duck out of sight, and get really quiet! "No," the costumed villain crouched next to me tells me, "We aren't staying out of a movie ... I just don't want to be beaten up."

Spider-Man scores a good punch on one of the bad guys, and he flies across the room to the lower level of the lobby (which was only a single story in real life ... but in dreams ...), and I decide it's all just too weird tonight, and I'm getting proof, so I whip out my trusty digital camera and start taking pictures. Soon after I start downloading them into my laptop when a Chinese guy starts to berate me for using the staff's computers. He looks like a cross between Charlie Chan and Mr. Fuji. I explain it is my computer and he's like "Uh ... ah ... well all right, then."

I start to descend the stairway from the reception desk down to the reception desk (hey, dream ...) and the crowds are getting ever thicker. The dress is also getting a lot more formal, and is starting to look like wedding party dresses or prom dresses ... something really nice. A nice looking, older blonde (40s), very professional looking, is a few steps behind me on the staircase, and she drops a present she is carrying, and it bounces down to me, so I pick it up and decide to carry it down for her. But when I get to the bottom of the staircase I find it blocked by a wall of presents, perhaps four feet deep and six feet across, completely blocking it. I drop the present on the stack and start to climb back up, explaining to the lady as I pass her, and fighting through the ever-worsening crowds, at times even climbing over small children to do so.

When I get back up near Janna's office (and it -is- now Janna's office, not a warehouse with super heroes fighting) I find myself staring at a little oriental girl, perhaps 8-10 years old who is obviously in the middle of a potty-mergency (thank you, Animaniacs) as she dances around. Suddenly an older Chinese woman who reminds me of a non-animated version of Cookie Kwan from the Simpsons walks up and tells me it is my responsibility to guide the girl (and 9 or 10 others) to the restroom. I try to refuse, but give in gracefully after a few seconds, and start to lead them to the short stairway down to the restrooms and parts.

Men's room no longer blocked, but it is being cleaned. The woman's room is still wallpapered over, so we continue on to the parts department, and this time I manage to find both men's and women's restrooms there. The kids use the restrooms. They also use the parts door leading outside, climb on the flower beds, and fall off. Thankfully the party is interesting enough that when they fall off they decide they aren't hurt.

I herd them back inside, and back up to the main showroom, and the crowds are worse than ever, so I try to get away slightly by stepping out onto the 'porch' by the main stairs up to the showroom, and just kind of look around, but even here it is crowded. As I stand there, Keith Thompson comes up behind me and demands to know why I have been avoiding him. I try to tell him I haven't been avoiding him as he searches through my (suitcase? gym bag? backpack?) and takes back the Kuya Kano CD he'd loaned me. He glances at it and sees there are a bunch of scratches on it, and demands to know what I have been doing with it, before he realizes the scratches just might be the music tracks.

I'm trying to explain I'm not avoiding him, things have just been hectic, when a couple of young Chinese guys say something that is probably slightly insulting, and Keith turns around and responds to them. The look of shock on their faces is great, and I just burst out laughing. It is Hiro and Ando from Heroes (yes, I know, when awake, Japanese, Chinese, different ... asleep, not so much). "I love that! I love the faces people make when they realize ..." Ando interrupts me "You know language!" I just keep laughing.

I start to turn back to Keith, only to discover he has stalked off, still angry, thinking I am avoiding him. I am about to go after him when I am distracted by a potential budding incident. Down at the base of the stairs there are three guys sitting there chanting. It seems to be a cross between Arabic and the chanting that 'Padulla' (Bubba Smith) did in Police Academy 4. Surrounding them are several white bread white guys praying in English. This is getting weirder by the second. They all seem to be working together at something, and again I pull out my camera to try and get some odd pictures, but another person on the stairs asks if I have permission to take photos, saying he doubts they want their fight captured on film. That comment is all it takes for it to start to turn into a fight, rather than working together.

I am starting to get worried, when everything changes. Across the street (where there is supposed to be a freeway) is a stadium, and there is a serial killer in the stadium who's weapon of choice is an air cannon (t-shirt gun) he loads with some sort of orange goop that kills anyone it hits. He shoots at 10 or 12 people in the stadium, and in the process turns an entire section of seats orange, before he turns his attention to us and starts firing our way.

Almost seems like he is trying to miss, like he is giving us a chance to scatter and run, but there are several people who are commenting they aren't going to run or back down, and they look like people from my choir. I'm kind of in between. I'm not going to run away, but if a shot comes my way, I am sure going to dodge.

BLANG! A shot hits the window next to me and coats it orange, then I feel a tiny sting and hear a loud clattering, and I turn to look at the staircase I'm standing on, and there are thousands of jelly beans or gum balls or something of the sort rolling down the stairs. I look around carefully, and find a dumpster where the flowerbed should be, filled with four or five people wearing bird mascot costumes. For some reason they are here to throw candy whenever the serial killer shoots his goop.

As far as I am concerned, anybody who wears a giant bird mascot costume in public has already consented to have their photo taken, so I am pulling out my camera to try to get some pictures, but suddenly it won't work. The camera won't focus. I keep bumping the wrong buttons, I can barely even hold the camera, and suddenly it is falling to pieces!