non-lucid

Self-hypnosis works again, and these were dreams a few days ago.

29.04.2013

My Neighbor Has No Manners (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of my apartment, and the dream scene is so realistic that I assume that it was reality. I didn't want to question anything, I just knew I had to be dreaming either way. It was fairly obvious, the setting was different, it was bright as day outside, and it was a little windy as well.

I'm only wearing my tighty whities just like in waking life now, and I feel perfectly normal. The dream is fairly linear, and I proceed to get out of my bedroom and starting to walk through the small hall in my dream apartment. It was about the same width as the actual one, I noticed some furniture and such were oddly placed, but I didn't care too much about them.

What bothered me is that I noticed something weird about the window in front of me. I noticed that there was someone outside, and they're bracing against the wall near my apartment outside as well. I come a bit closer to to see who it was, and it was this odd-looking fellow. I raise up the red curtains, which were definitely not related to the blue curtains I have in my actual apartment, and I noticed that the window is opened.

To my surprise, as I'm slowly raising up the curtain, the odd-looking neighbor said, "Thanks." I realized he was reading a book, and I saw he glanced up at me quickly and immediately turned his head to go back to reading. I didn't know how to recieve this kind of response, since it was obvious that no one should be bracing against the interior of my apartment, and because of this conflict of reasoning on what to do next, I decided to continue to trying to get the curtains up in a position.

For some reason, I believe my conflicted reasoning also wanted me to move the curtains so the neighbor could brace properly outside and be able to rest his left arm on the opened window. The window was a bit longer than usual, and in order to open it, there was the generic lock that you had to twist outward into your direction to open up, and I believe this isn't the case for my actual apartment.

The thought on whether or not he potentially stole items in my apartment didn't come to me whatsoever, since he had a calm and relaxing demeanor throughout most of this dream. I have an awkward time moving the curtains and trying not to get them to touch my presumed neighbor again. I would lift them in the general direction from down and straight up, then I would go from down to diagonally placing it to the left and other angles as well.

I realized I needed some kind of pin or object in order to keep the curtain in place. The neighbor had to move his arm frequently each time I put the curtain down, and I still didn't know what I was going to say to him, since he has yet to make any kind of concerning behavior and/or action. I quickly look around this limited area in my apartment, and I noticed there's a pink-clip that was somehow a pin as well.

I don't know how the logic with that worked, but I picked up, and I slowly inserted it inside a part of the curtain. I didn't question that a clip suddenly served as a pin, and I finally managed to get a huge chunk of the part of the curtain that I folded up so it would make a curve like this " J ".

Then I realized I needed an actual pin to keep things in place, however, with dream logic, that wasn't needed since the vanilla colored walls and the weird looking object I used as a clamp suddenly was able to stick together. After this fiasco, I start shifting my thoughts back to this neighbor randomly bracing against the inside of my apartment.

His visage looks awfully familiar to one of my actual neighbors, except he doesn't have as long of a hair than him. It's more of a bow-shaped head with out of wack curls on the ends. He's wearing glasses, thin framed, and his face is partially filled with acne, and he has the "Pedro" stereotypical mustache on him as well.

It seems he was half-naked with just dark brown jean shorts, and he immediately enters my apartment. While I'm busy preparing for a "Wtf do you think you're doing" on this guy, suddenly my kitchen is closer to the both of us. He turns his back on me, and goes opens the fridge to see what's inside. I noticed that there were mostly transparent bowls with food inside with red tops concealing them as well.

The light inside of the fridge was the generic yellow bulb light, and then I immediately close it, slowly warning this guy that he's not suppose to be in this apartment. Then he takes a spit on the floor, and I'm wondering what the fucking hell is wrong with this dipshit, and that's when I started to break.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!"

He looks at me weirdly, slightly affected with a tinge of fear, and decides to do one more random action of trying to get something on top of the fridge or whatever the hell it was, couldn't remember to great detail. He wanted to take the dime that was placed on top, and I grabbed his wrist and gave him a "NO" facial expression. I take the dime away from him, and I directed him to get out through the window, and I believe I stated,

"AND STAY OUT YOU JERK!"

or something to that nature without trying to use curse words. He apparently lived to the right of me, which was kind of awkward, since now I know he's bloody one door to the right of me, and it only makes me worried what he would do next time. I started to question how he got the window to be opened in the first place, since I don't even open my window in my actual apartment in real life simply because it's awkward to have it opened and let people see what I'm doing.

After that petty drama was over, I decided to clean up the area where he spat. I get some paper towels, and I maneuver them in a circular motion and then threw it into the trash can that didn't have a lid on it. It seems that I had the intention to move my stuff in a U-Haul truck, seeing as I had some small furniture and bags I felt that were mine outside of my apartment. I made sure that I kept a good awareness of my environments, and also an eye in case that neighbor wants to randomly come into my apartment again.

I didn't pay attention anything beyond the U-Haul truck in my apartment, but with peripheral vision, I could tell my subconscious did a fair job to make it seem like it was a replication of waking life's setting. I had some random brown bag that seems to resemble the one that a Pan-Asia Restaurant I go to from time to time uses for To-Go orders.

I noticed this was like a mini-trash bag, seeing how there were paper plates that had random residues of food, and there was also a concerning amount of wasted rice in this bag as well. After realizing it was just another way to trash some things, I noticed something very shiny inside, and it ended up being my Zune HD. At first, I didn't want to believe I would trash it, but then I turn back again and picked it up and it seems I really did.

I had to wipe off the food sauce and residue from it, and then I slowly walked back to my apartment while examining the Zune HD to make sure that it was working. I ended up not paying attention to it and just put it somewhere in invisible land, because I sure don't remember not having it anywhere near my tighty whities. For the rest of the dream, I continued to beleive that this was slightly realistic, the whole event with the neighbor and such, and I felt that I had to post this on Dream Views because that guy was in a really odd position.

_________________________

29.04.2013

I Killed One Million People (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is one of those dreams where you shouldn't have been lucid in any moment whatsoever. It was so awkward, it's like I was suddenly a mass murder terrorist, and I can't believe how I had this tinge of fear rather than a full-blown anxiety trip. It was also one of those dreams where if I didn't know I was dreaming, I would be really stupid.


So I'm hiding inside some random room in a building, and I have a device that allows me to hear the conversations of soldiers trying to find me.

"He's in in the....*so and so and so*"

I only have a silver gun on my right hand I believe, and I'm really wondering what's going on here.

"He's killed a million lives..." or something like that.

I started getting scared on what I could possibly do that could kill that many people, and I started to feel that this was a reality, and that I really fucked up this time. I rub my head a bit and....


I decided to open the door slightly to see if there's any soldiers around. I go about running randomly, always keeping an increased awareness of my surroundings, and twitching at any sign of movement or any kind of shadows that would show up. The environment I'm in is hard to describe what kind of building it was.

The carpet was red, and there ways a vanilla tile floor maybe 30 feet away from me, and the overall lighting atmosphere was a milky yellow. The walls were hard to distinguish, most likely a range of brown and orange-red colors, fairly flat colors, nothing too abstract. Feelings started to rush inside me as I hear the foot steps of soldiers coming in.


They're finally here, and they aim their machine guns at me, but then things start getting weird. Time slows time a bit, and I start shooting all of them in the head, dropping like flies.

Then there's this annoying old man trying to shoot me, kind of like the type of AI you expect from a video game when you're playing on "Easy Mode," and you're ducking for cover, but the enemy comes out at random times, so you can't even get a proper aim at them. He couldn't shoot me, and I couldn't shoot him, so I decided to just dash and go somewhere else.

I can't remember much after that, and I prefer not to, since I doubt there was a happy ending.

4/5/13

1. I am on a low ski-lift with no snow. I can control my cart, and I accidentally ram it into the one parallel to me. I knock her off, and I see her body below.

2. I get a job at a deli store. I sit in the back and package sandwiches according to orders. I mess up, and I walk out without receiving pay because of my embarrassment.

4/4/13

1. I sign up for a summer camp. I have a lot of fun there. At the first night, at the dining hall, some old-time members and counselors contemplate 'telling us...'

I have no idea what this means. Then they talk about a curse or something to do with a dragon. Everybody leaves on the last day. The next year, I decide to return because I had a lot of fun. Students begin to die this time. It becomes a huge drama in the camp. One night, I sneak into another hall. There were no cabins, just one building that we would only leave twice at the camp. Outside, there was a basement underneath the grass, and a couple more buildings were on the property. I go back inside, but see something in one of the rooms. A student is murdered. I become panicked and scared; I don't even have time to mourn them. A blonde girl instructs the killing, but an old man (a camp counselor) seems to oversee it. I hide as they begin to talk.

"We have to stop doing this," the camper says. There are about five people there.

"You understand why we are, you know," the man says in response. I cannot guess why they are killing the students. I suspect that they killed all the others too, unlike what they stated. I go to bed, but I cannot sleep. My terror produces sweat on my sheets, and I get up. I sit on the floor and think, but I cannot settle my thoughts. This was only the beginning. The days go by, and more campers disappear. I shudder at where they might keep the bodies. I tell one student, but on the night before the last day, everybody knew of the crazy killer cult rumor. I attempt to get sleep, but chaos ensues. I sneak out the back, but I soon have to escape a stalker. Many people are killed, and students run out of the building frantically. Many campers kill each other; they were also a part of it. I run to the wooden theater, and there are children lying on the ground. A man is light matches and throwing gasoline. I scream, but the children don't realize what's happening. They open their eyes and realize their attacker. The campers get up and run to the exit, but the far left portion has been enflamed along with some of the burning kids. The fire spreads by each still live body, causing only a few to escape to safety by the doorway I am standing at. The wind pierces my back; I am outside. There are acres of isolation, I think, how will we ever get out of here? I go to the gate where a girl is.

"Is that smoke I smell?" she says playfully. I ignore her.

"Do you remember last year? They are insane. Call 911!" I say.

"What? This is a nice camp, they aren't crazy..."

"They are part of this cult- You don't understand because you didn't go this year- Just listen. Your brother is dying. Follow me!" I say to her. Her face explodes with worry. I take her to the burning theater and call her brother's name. He does not respond, indicating his death. The property is chaotic; the fire is spreading and death is a harbinger to everybody. The blonde girl tries to stab the girl I am leading to her brother. My friend runs far, and I lose her. I have no choice but to run in the opposite direction to avoid the killers. I am out of breath and am in the forest. I can hear screams, and there is blood on some of the trees. An hour later, I come back to the camp. I step behind a building and see my friend's body. I am struck by an angry, tragic sadness. I run from the killer girl. I find the hatch that leads to the basement in the forest while running through the darkness. I descend the steps but hear her quickly behind me. I find a closet and enter it. I hide behind it. The basement suddenly turns into the garage of my house, but I do not become lucid. In the closet of my garage, there is a door leading outside to the sidewalk that I can escape from. I hear the girl coming. She flings open the door and frantically swings her knife around. I kick the sealed door open and run into the streets, free into the morning dawn with the scene of the camp long gone.

[Sleep at 12:15 am. Alarm off at 4:00 am - awake for 5 minutes. Non-lucid. Recorded 6:05 am.]
I remember talking to someone about Opa's death. While in real life I have been sad and, of course, I miss him, I have not really cried or even thought about it beyond the first day. In the dream though, I broke down into hysteric tears. I really missed him and felt his lose deeply even though we were not too close. [I suddenly remember when he stood up for me against Oma with the whole mayo fiasco.]

Then I was possibly half awake and still crying. I knew I had been dreaming but also recognized the fact that I needed to cry since I had not allowed myself to do so in real life.

The dream started somewhere else with a person (the one I was talking to about Opa) but I can't remember what we were doing or why. We were walking at the time of the conversation, and it was dark. Everything was dark. [Because I did not have to see to feel. Sight can be misleading, as I had let my emotions misguide me. In order to heal on a deep level, I needed to FEEL, not to think or rationalize.] Remember thinking I should wake up and write it down, but was still partly sleeping and wanted to continue - very tired.

[Contemplation. Dream fragments remembered until entire dream pieced together. 4.30.13 1:30pm]
At the beginning there was I girl with light skin and long dark hair pulled back. She was talking to me and leading me somewhere. Saw through my own eyes, or the eyes of the player, not watching from above like usual. Was I myself? Or just a character?

Surrounded by darkness and rocks. Maybe in some kind of cave? Was there water nearby? On the walls? Possibly in the cave behind my waterfall, but then why would I have to be lead. I WAS following, but why and to where?

Dream then changed, but same darkness followed. Not a scary, fear inducing darkness, more a comforting, peaceful darkness. I felt at ease, walking next to someone. I believe different then the girl in the beginning, but somehow felt the same, just older. More wise and knowing. Talking to me as we walked through the darkness. I don't remember hearing words, but knew there was a conversation. Don't know where we were or where we were going. More like surrounded by nothingness. Going no where, doing nothing but being.

Suddenly flooded by thought of Opa and feelings of immense sadness and loss. I was crying. Although there was so much pain, I knew this was a part of a healing process that I have not allowed myself in a waking state. I knew I had to think of him, of how much I missed him, and just let the tears come. I felt safe knowing this woman was somehow supporting me, encouraging me to let myself simply feel.

I believe I partly woke up, crying, and reflected on this experience as something I needed in order to move on. I know I suppress my emotions in a waking state, so much that it very rarely even creeps into my dreams, so I know I am making progress. I felt relief.

I knew I should write everything down or forget the details, but somehow felt the beginning of the dream was not significant and had no fear forgetting the rest. Too tired to wake fully, possibly even still dreaming. Floated back into sleep.

Was this my guide? Do I need to let myself heal emotionally before I can travel successfully? Hopes of seeing Dason still hold me back. I need to let this go while coping with the reality that he is gone. I need to find a way to hold on to his memory while still somehow moving on. This is a big task that will take time. My guide will help me. I have full trust in her.

[Sudden memory from 8 years ago. Remember the dream so long ago? A sword. A guide. A tower. Dason, Brittany, max?, Jamaal? We were going to take over the world. Change it. What did she say to me? Only he could do something, but I was needed for... something. Same guide? He was the tower, looking up at its immense structure. The guide and myself watched from above. "You know he is the only one that can change the world?" I was disappointed it wasn't me, but I was also young and immature. She was wise. What was meant? What was my purpose? I knew instinctively others were involved, but I played a big role in this change. So long to go without this dream... until now. Why?]

[Contemplation and inspiration. 4.30.13 10:15 pm]
Tarot reading few months ago. Guidance, reversed. Thought nothing of it until the following weekend when it all occurred to me at once. I ask for guidance, as if I do not have it, but in fact I do. There are signs every where and I have the tools to guide myself, but I set this all aside because I am waiting for guidance from him. He cannot lead me any further. "I have taught you everything you need to know." At the time, I cried. I knew it was a dismissal, a good-bye. How right I was... I need to heal and move on. It is possible he still exists outside my heart, but I need to progress with my own insight or risk losing everything. Guidance is here, I just have to open my eyes to it. Now, my guide has returned. Whether an astral being, a spirit, or a creation of my mind, to me it is a representation of guidance. It is knowledge and understanding to help me see choices and follow my own paths. It is me.

3/22/13

1. I did not do my math homework.

3/17/13

1. I am at a party. I see people I know there. The next day, I see a strange and threatening looking overweight man in the school halls as I walk inside. He looked joyous and happy, but I suspected him of something. I close and lock the classroom door. No one notices, and everybody is gathered in the front. They are talking to a woman who looks almost identical to the unwanted visitor in the halls. I realize it is a dream, but I deny it soon after. Upon seeing the man attempt to get in, I warn my classmates not to let the woman whom I believe to be his accomplice to leave the classroom. I don't make any action, because I have no real reason to believe this. The lady walks towards the door, and I realize that she must be attempting to let the man in, because the doors unlock from the inside. She walks out, and the man smiles and walks inside. He does not twitch his face from its beamish position. He sets down his bag. A bomb explodes.

I've posted this one on the forums a bit already. I believe one of the reasons why it occurred is because I was playing Xbox Live a lot at the time and it was like I stuck my head in the sands/ashes of hell or something. Most of what I did at the time was play Xbox Live, I don't think I noticed the birds flying around outside much.

The dream always started showing people, Often enough to have a large party, Arriving at a two-story house which was in a plain that had no grass or trees near it. It was cold outside and the ground was blue-ish in tint. There was a forest behind the house about 200 yards away. The house was nice and warm. (I also must note the interior resembled the interior of the James Bond homestead house in the new Skyfall movie.)

People would leave the house and go into the woods. In the woods, The people would find a graveyard (Note I didn't say cemetery; This place was a grave place to be) And there would be this Fast, White, Freezing-Cold River running over parts of it including some of the grave markers.

The river started from the left and was below the ground where the people would stand to see the graveyard. The river came down a slope and went in a U-turn away from a bank on the right, Back to the left as it went down a slope. I'm wondering why the graveyard wasn't completely submerged in the water; Why did the river go around some of the graves in a U-turn, Cutting them off? I don't recall a huge bank between the river and most of the graveyard preventing the water from flowing down the slope that the graveyard was on.

I never saw anyone cross the river. Also, There was no path to this graveyard; The people always went through the woods to get to it. Once they saw this graveyard, In most occasions every person who saw it would die by turning into a splintered, Dead wood statue. I don't think even their clothes remained, They were just dead wood. Even if they managed to get back in the house, They'd die.

After this, In the morning authorities would come by and they would never be able to figure out what happened. I did see inside the house on a few occasions and I also was in the dream myself at least once; I think I was trying to fish a girl's plastic purple bag out of the river at one point and I did not die.

On one other occasion, I saw inside the house and there was a large window on the second floor overlooking the forest and I saw a man or teenager who had glasses and short blond hair.

This might not sound like much when you read it now, But I can assure you that it was cold.

Hmm, i guess something else affects the recall in this case then...

I was in some blue area, then there was some video game stuff and view was switching to 2D, then there was some kind of area with curvy metallic surfaces.

Tuesday 4/30/12

last night bed at 1am -9am.

DR1:

I'm in a nightclub. A dead girl, all bruised up, is curled up on a bar stool. Two girls sitting on each side of her lean over her and start making out. There is another dead girl nearby, also no one pays any attention. (I watched Defiance IWL and they looked like some people from there.)

DR2:

I'm in school. It's empty, I'm looking for exit.

DR3:

I'm with my class in a long room. There is a few beds and I'm sitting on one of them. Another classmate is sitting opposite of me on another bed. A teacher brings plastic jug with clear liquid in it. It's Ayahuasca. Some of us are suppose to try it.

Classmate takes a sip and we watch him for a while. Everybody is watching. It's some kind of a lucid dreaming experiment. Then I take few sips. At first I feel nothing but then I feel something mildly strange with my head. Then I get the strongest vibrations. I brace myself for pain. I doesn't hurt, but I fell like it could.

The vibrations stopped and I'm wondering why am I not lucid. I decide to test it. I open the glass door to the balcony, which is not too high, just a first floor. I hop over the metal rail and start to hover - fly in the air, right between the balcony and a nice big green tree. Lots of people underneath. Pedestrian zone, some kind of a fair.

Then I'm back inside the class. I talk about how it didn't get me lucid, but then I conclude, that I was flying, so it must have been very vivid, real lifelike LD. I'm asking lots of questions where I can get ayahuasca and we debate it for a while. (There was a teaser on syfy channel yesterday, about new series and three words flashed on the screen - DMT, Ayahuasca and something else).

Dream 4:

I was hiking with friends. We came to this deep but fairly narrow chasm we had to cross. I remember being really stressed out and not sure if I would be able to do it or not.

Dream 2:

We had a pet giraffe in our backyard. When I went to pet it I saw that it had gotten ahold of a large wooden clothes pin and was starting to chew it up. I was afraid that it would choke on the metal part. But before I could get to it, it had swallowed the whole thing. But then I noticed that it had a baggie full of nails and screws in its mouth now. I hurried and climbed up a latter and started trying to pry the giraffes mouth open. I was worried that it would bite me, but I managed to get the bag out of its mouth.

I haven't recorded any dreams for a while. So I'll catch up with a few from the last couple days.

Dream 1 (DV Member Dream):

I was in college. It was getting really stormy. I was walking from class trying to get to my dorm. Oneironaut was there with me. He was my best friend and protector. He always made sure I got to where I was going safely. Finally we made it to my dorm. I gave him a hug and thanked him for always being there for me.

I went into my dorm. My roommate Kierra was there with me. It started to rain really hard. We looked out the window and could see the ocean right behind the building. The waves were starting to get huge. Our dorm building was about 20 stories tall and the waves were starting to crash over the top of the building. Every time a wave hit, we huddled as it smashed against the glass. We were so afraid the window would break and we would be washed away.

definitely don't feel like i'm getting enough sleep - maybe that is hurting my recall more than i thought it would. i'll take some melatonin tonight to get to sleep earlier.
sleep 2am
wake 9am

Found a Harry Potter gun. well, it wasn't the gun itself but blueprints for it. told what material was needed for what part. there was a weird bubbly part at one end made from several different ores. brought it to a group of people that agreed humanity wasn't ready for it. to get to the building they were in I had to pass garbage containers and other objects that could move. 'suspicious looking trash can' (written on it) for example. they followed me/moved when I wasn't looking.
I was swimming at one point (there was an island type deal - i was going in this crevasse to get to the two treasure chests underwater. they started moving (turned into mimics sort of - they still had treasure inside of them if i could pacify them). i think i died and respawned (mimics trapped me underwater). someone there told me i should use some sort of swimming enhancement - speed or fins or water breathing or somesuch ((I've been playing a lot of Terraria on Xbox))
I think the inanimate objects were having a revolt or strike or something. They were still defining themselves by their usefulness to humans however and couldn't carry out their rebellion.

((well, I managed to flesh the fragments out a lot more than I thought I would be able to. Still feel I forgot overly much, but "I think I was swimming at one point" turned into an actual remembrance, so I count it a win))

So this guy called "John" in my dream was killed from being like smothered with paint. I was charged with his murder and sent into a prison. The prison was like this huge icy towering hole that went straight down with small cracks on the sides very tightly packed for people to serve their time. They push you off the side with an ice pick and you have to grab hold of somewhere on the way down, I ended up being put next to this guy in my school who I never talk to called Keith. After a while I fell down to the bottom, and realised there was an open door down there so I escaped the prison and one of my friends Paudie was helping me run through this hilly field away from the prison. I heard girls shouting so I looked back and saw this girl Lorraine(Who I'm like in love with I like her so much and we get on really well) shouting like don't run away Fin come on please, so I turned back because I felt bad leaving her there on her own, and I wanted to say goodbye. So I went back and walked up to her and it was really hard for me to say goodbye and I was like crying loads, I finally told her that I loved her and that I'll find her again some day and we kissed, and then I began walking back to the prison and the dream ended. When I woke up I was like really emotional and crying, so I think like some of the emotion from the dream stayed with me when I woke up Anyway, really vivid dream and any dream with her in is amaaazing anyway. :')

I also started ADA properly yesterday, so pretty fast result.

Prebed: 1 1/2 glass of soy milk

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Recall method: none, woke up briefly after each dream but was so sleepy, I didn't bother to write anything. Did not attempt WBTB either. Everything is so fragmented now, good thing I still remember although with much less detail the short DILD I had.

Dream1: We are back to high school and as usual we have to do an extra year. Everybody should be in class soon, I wonder again how are we going to do that. I am waiting for a friend of mine to show up as usual, I don't think he did.

Fragment2: One of my classmates, her features are a bit strange and now she also has a sister that looks very similar to her. (She actually has a brother)

Fragment3: On the beach, I am watching the waves. I think somebody, it kind of looked like a documentary and I was part of it, said that here the waves are just the right size to swim and maybe surf?

Dream4 mini-DILD: The background is grey and a number of DCs that look like zombies are walking towards me. I become lucid. I remember my recent resolution to freestyle during the next lucids and see what I can make out of the situation. I decide that I will use this one to train my reactions. Ok, so they are walking towards me, I don't care at all. I am just consciousness, no material substance, they can't hurt me. They are still advancing, and one comes so close that it actually touches my hand. I feel and see my hand and this destroys my concept of non-materiality. I brace myself for the impact. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

Note to self: Maybe I should spend less time thinking and more time acting in LDs?

Fragment5: I go to the kitchen to look for the bottle of water I bought for myself irl and find that one of our guests has opened it and now holds it in her hand. It is too late to say anything, I just wish this hasn't happened.

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April Review

Number of ld nights: 9 (3 with double lds)

Number of lds: 12 (2 WILD, 2 DEILD, 8 DILD)

Quality: Good, with few exceptions, a few fade away issues and changing the scene is still a challenge

Recall: I am getting used to having a roller-coaster type of recall. I am not sure if I should place additional demands on that at the moment.

Things to work on:

- I think I might go for some flexibility on task completion and work more on stability. (But who knows in what kind of mood I will be?)

- I also want to go back to a more decent WBTB schedule after meeting all kinds of relatives and friends is over.

- There are other issues (like changing the scene) to work on but will see how it all goes and deal with them accordingly.

I got more than I expected in April, so I won't be expecting more than I can get in May. Just keep dreaming...