non-lucid

The night prior, I had a dream about superheroes. And then there was a tall skyscraper, and I put some of the windows out with my mind from a distance. Then I was caught in a huge wave, that was rocking me back and forth with each surge, but even though I was immersed in it I did not drown. There was a really old guy who was supposed to be a villain.

Last night I dreamed I was on IRC, only IRC was set up more like an image board. Anyway, I found a channel I liked that was full of a bunch of other gamers and role players. There was a kid on there obsessed with Yu Gi Oh to a really annoying degree who kept challenging me to fake "fights", and then cheating terribly. I commented that he was taking an awful lot of Free Actions (for some reason we were playing by 3.5 Edition Dungeons & Dragons rules) and then beat him up with a pair of giant stuffed foam thumbs. A toy he was using as a prop to fight with exploded into a bunch of glass beads, and then he turned into a kitten. I felt bad about wrecking his toy and being so mean to a little kid/kitten, so I picked up the toy (it looked like a doll head, only made out of beads) and began trying to repair it.

It seems I'm with a group of students at some type of specialized school. The class is held outdoors where a teacher tells them to move forward and use their bird control powers. I'm there with the group so I follow. Suddenly a group of owls appears and they are just hovering over a single spot in a field not too far away. The students focus on calling to one of the owls and they try different gestures and poses. Only 15 seconds later, all but one owl has flown to one of the students and has landed on him or her. There was only this one guy to my left who didn't get an owl to come yet. Since he was taking so long, the solitary owl got distracted by a group of sparrows and went after one. The owl caught the sparrow and went to land in a tree.

Soon, an eagle joined the fray. It swooped in suddenly from above, trapping both the owl and the group of sparrows in the trees. It wanted to get its claws on anything it could eat. All the while my DCs were narrating for me what was going on by talking to one another and making comments. Some like "I hope the owl is alright", or "Oh look it is going after that group of sparrows". Now everyone was trying to make the eagle go away by yelling at it. The eagle flew up, but then came back down closer to us. It seemed to not look so much like an eagle now, but a deformed dog with huge wings. It was really ugly to look at, and then another one showed up. The pair seemed to harass the group for a few minutes, landing and stomping about near us, then flying overhead again.

The eagle-dog creatures had large muscular back legs, and really short stubby front legs. They only squatted on their hindquarters when landing on the ground, with their front legs looking like mini-arms. It is sort of how a T-Rex would look, but with a dog. Finally these things flew off for good. The owl came out of the trees and the guy summoned him this time much easier.

Every night it differs between two scenes...
I need to get control of these or i'll go insane.
1st Dream Journal Entry but ive been having these dreams since i was a child....
Hidden message i cant decode without gaining control...
so here we go....wish me luck...

Dream 1:
I ''wake'' up outside of my fathers old house a large thatch roof house... im in the garden..
There are soldiers everywhere they're searching for something..
I have no control of my movements or actions...
My feelings are fear... All of a sudden i am noticed by some soldiers who start to chase me wielding shortswords.
I run with all my might but i am small in my dream and one step to me is five steps for my chasers.
i see a fence that can be scaled and head towards it my heart is pounding i am afraid in my arms im holding a teddy bear of sorts and hugging it closely well i run..tears are streaming down my eyes....
i start to scale the fence and peak to the top..
My hope rises and as i reach the other side...
There are countless soldiers surrounding me...(out of the pan into the fire)
One walks up to me with a smile on his face...he says everything will be alright...
he takes my teddy bear away from me gently...
and then proceeds to force the shortsword deep into my stomach piercing through my clothes and sliding it in as if it were nothing..
i go cold...it is such an odd sensation...not pain but uncomfortable....as he lays me onto the ground i start to black out blood running out the side of my mouth...
he places the teddy into my arms and they walk away calmly...
as i slowly fade into darkness i wake up into reality from this dream..
//notes//
My stomach feels uncomfortable after this dream...i am short of breathe and sweating as if i was running...and my nose almost always is bleeding....
//
So yea i guess this is my first dream journal entry...comment if thats possible insight would help...i need to learn to become lucid...if i can just escape there or change my path in the dream....or something...i'll post the second dream shortly..i know this was a long one and i apologize just needed to get it out...i just recently joined this site...hoping for positive feedback...maybe even somebody who can relate to this and help me..
Have a Great Day Everyone

Regards
The Bear

I dreamed that I found a stash of drugs and used them all. Shortly after, my vision got a weirdly zoomed focus as I was staring at my own face in a mirror which was a complete abomination. My mouth was gigantic and deformed, my eyes dull, dark and insane. Leeches crawled out of my lips and gums, leaving a stinging pain and gory holes emitting short streams of blood. I went to sit by my computer desk, but it was literally covered in dead flies. Covered as in I couldn't see the desk.

Dream recall from today's naps. DILD and WILD.

Dream 1(fragment):

I wake up, sit on the bed and think about something for a while, then i realize that i forgot to do an reality check and as i take off headphones i can still hear binaural beats, so i am dreaming, but dream fades out shortly and i wake up.
I keep eyes closed and try to DEILD(but it takes some time to fall back asleep so i count this as WILD)
Dream 2:
I am still in the bed, but i feel something different. I try to open eyes but i can't see anything, i can move though and i take off headphones while still hearing binaural beats. Shortly i feel something move through the room, and shortly this something jumps onto me and i hear a growl of some kind. Then i wake up.

Note: Way to go after going through (almost)daily 'SP' threads, still an interesting experience though, i wish i could see what that creature was.

I was playing some weird western-styled game in coop with someone, we were going through some town and sniping some enemies, eventually we have found enemy leader and killed him as well.
Later in dream there was scene where i was going to school apparently and then hiding from someone and there was a bunch of AI War building icons floating around. Later i was trapped in the bathroom which had two doors.

There is kind of erotica in this one (Nothing actual, just talk of it), I guess that's why it was so vivid and exciting and I could remember quite a bit.. I didn't see any ruling against erotica in the DJ, but if there is please take this down, I have no intention of going over the rules.

I remember sitting in a room (in retrospect it was very similar to a classroom in which I study often, one that looks like a bomb shelter, with blue chairs with tables connected to them, and I think there was a board behind me) with 100 girls (The number came up in the conversation, I don't remember any of them except two girls with whom I have little to no contact with IRL, and one of them I find not attracting in the least), and my sister. The idea came up that they would all give my a blow job (NOT including my sister)... they agreed, I agreed, we moved on.
A small scene I remember was that one of the girls I knew came to me, and asked me if I was in 3 units math (Lowest level of math you can do to get a high school diploma), I said "God no", she said "I can't do this then" and walked away. I remember my heart beating like crazy (And, well... another organ about the same...).

I remember driving in what I think was some black jeep. Sky was blue, I was sitting in the left seat in the back, staring out the window. next thing I remember is reaching some building (I don't remember leaving the car), a ~10 meter tall meeting with glass walls, inside there were many round tables with tablecloths on them and a bar, not sure if there was an event inside, there were definitely people. The tables, the floor and the bar were white. I entered the building, and I remember meeting a kid there, one with whom, again, I have extremely little contact. He asked me where a friend of mine was (A close one), I pointed out of the window and there he was.

We skip to me and my sister walking down the street, in parallel to the entrance to the last building. She gave me sexual advice, I couldn't remember any of it. The street was full of people, yet I didn't feel slightly embarrassed by the conversation (I guess it didn't come to my mind, even though I'm very uncomfortable about these topics IRL).
The last thing I remember was arriving to a building that also had glass walls, but also had beige walls from the inside. I never entered it, but I think I might have seen a girl inside.

Few Notes:
-Started DJ a night before this one, but I was empty of dreams.

-Last dream I remember (Not recorded though, it's been a week ago or so) was also an erotic dream with quite a bit erotic action in it.

-I figure this might have some significance, I'm a virgin. Never had a GF before.

-I wasn't very aware at the time, but IIRC I remembered way more about the dream (The sexual advice, the conversation at the start, possibly the girl inside the last building), back when I was at bed, but I thought those were just thoughts, not dream memories so I didn't write down at the time (Even though this has happened before, I didn't think it would work on me again.. I better prepare a few mantras about this for tonight). Only a while later I realized my daydreams are in third person, and this was definitely a first person memory.

-In my personal DJ I have all the names I know written, it just seems irrelevant here.

-My relationship with my older sister is far from a comfortable and sharing one, it can get to the point that I hate her guts. And even though she's a pervert (and experienced I guess...), and I would never take advice from her nor share anything like this with her (I wouldn't share it with anyone).

-I can only assume the part with the jeep was still part of the dream based on the sky, intuition, and possibly that's how I chronologically remembered it.

-I might have written fairly irrelevant info, but since I can recall 0-0.5 dreams a night.. I write EVERYTHING down.

That's all I got, this dream was non-lucid, of course, and it's the first dream I record with a DJ.

Last night was my first LD. I was only lucid for a short period of time but it felt good to finally be lucid.

I was in an unfamiliar kitchen with my parents and many of their friends sitting near a counter. I was drinking wine and chatting with the guests when I looked down at my hands and saw how abnormal they looked. They were swollen and my fingers looked like cones with fat basses and skinny tips. I instantly knew i was dreaming and naturally became very excited. I stood up and ignored everyone talking to me, simply laughing at the fact that they were all fake. I walked out of the kitchen and found myself in the sideyard of this unfamiliar house.

There was a door further down and felt compelled to walk through it. I did so and lost all control of myself in the dream but the experience was still quite interesting. This door was a portal to the house i grew up in which is thousands of miles from where i currently live. I had not seen the house for many years and it was doing so felt very refreshing.

I found myself in my bathroom and walked into my old room. I wasn't making these decisions myself, I simply went with the flow (semi-lucid). All of the furniture was there just as it was when I was boy but a new family lived in the house, they did not seem to notice my presence. I walked through the house and saw clearly the old cabinet I used to sneak alcohol from. I continued my tour of the house and saw bottles of wine everywhere from the current family. Eventually I returned to the bathroom where I had entered the house and found that the portal was gone and I couldn't go back, but felt little urge to even do so. This is where I woke up.

While I was lucid I did not feel the desire to try to fly into the air or surf a giant wave as I though I would, and did not go to my childhood home on purpose. However, one of my goals of lucid dreaming is to go back to the places I grew up so I guess my subconscious took me there. I do not know why there was so much alcohol in this dream; I have never been much of a drinker. All in all, I am happy that I was lucid however brief the lucidity may have been.

Still catching up

Date: 2 May

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Recall method: tried to memorize dream, recorded when opportunity

Fragment1: It looks like I have bought a pack of snickers, which is actually mars, but when I have a look it is snickers again

Dream2: I am in a building, most likely trying to find my way out, but parts pf the building are locked. Some specific women have relationship with bad guys who are gang members. They are dangerous and soon there will be a fight between us and them. Later, a guy with long hair comes and helps us, so we manage to win. The gang members turn to more pleasant manga type of characters and we discuss the nature of time.

Fragment3: I am in a store where they sell stuffed toys. Initially, they are trying to get rid of the toys by giving them away, a bit later they are selling them with discount. (I really should notice this more often, first it is A, then it is actually B). I relate these toys to DV, and wonder if I should get some and send them to DV members, but I don't have the address.

Fragment4: I am near a familiar park in my hometown. I see some unemployed women, they carry a sign that they are looking for a job. I try to cross the street, when I see a bear cub and a cat. In this case, I try to walk around because I am rather cautious, but soon come close to the animals. I focus on the cat which starts to purr and does cat movements. I unintentionally startle it a bit.

-------------------------------

Date: 3 May

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Recall method: tried to memorize as much as possible, noted when opportunity

Dream1: I think I am supposed to meet a guy and am thinking about going somewhere as the scenario develops. I am in some bed and there is a transparent line that is like a field of energy. This field is very dangerous, it comes like an earthquake through space and then can kill you. I am trying to keep my distance from this line and expect it to appear once again, but surprisingly to me it doesn't? (Good time to RC even in this crazy scenario!)

Fragment2: I am going to an event and am on the bus station (add to DS) with my classmates. I am actually coming and then going back to HK.

Fragment3: I am sitting, looking at a table with lots of food. I also see some piglets. I begin to ponder whether they can actually associate the food with them becoming food themselves. I don't want them to get affected by this.

#1 - House Sitting [Non-Lucid]

Supposedly I was looking after my friend S's house while she and her family were away on vacation, but it didn't actually look like her house. I had my PSP with me and I was playing some game on it that was like filled with these giant patterned block towers that you just had to bounce this ball down in certain ways and see where it goes, hard to explain exactly but it was very basic yet trippy. Someone was there who I think was fairly unstable but I remember them being N at one point, and I was trying to show him the game but on a bigger screen. There was an old TV set up in front of the bed in the room we were in and a flat screen TV up on the back board of the bed, so first I tried the former with no luck. We decided to try to move the bed to try the latter, and as we did drawers of it started opening up and I saw this cute bathing suit in one that was mostly teal with some black. I randomly decided to pull it out and put it on, which I think it might have just skipped to not have to justify why I changed in front of N.

By the time I payed more attention to the bed again I noticed that it was completely flipped around and I figured we were probably just about good to try to hook it up again, but then we heard voices coming from outside the room and I knew that they must have returned from their trip, and I had known in the back of my mind that they were supposed to be arriving soon. I took the suit back off and just shoved it back in the drawer from behind the bed as S came into the room and N just kept her busy. She didn't seem to care that the bed was backwards. Strangely the first thing that happened is that S asked N how his trip was, but I rationalized this to myself by thinking that N must have just gotten back from vacation as well right before coming over to hang out with me. But that's the last thing that happened.

#2 - Trip Sitting [Non-Lucid]

I was at my house in my room with S there, and strangely I was holding on to her and she seemed to be slowly losing her balance. We were standing at the foot of my bed and suddenly I realized that if she swayed too much she might see my bong that I have in a place where most people won't see it, and I become nervous because she doesn't approve of weed. She actually does look in just the right place to see it, but there seems to be something wrong with her and I don't think it actually registered.

At that point she became this guy PR who I knew and occasionally saw and had classes with all throughout my public school career. I believe I suddenly gained false memories at this point, because I remember somewhat vividly remembering this but I don't think it actually happened, of him smoking DMT, for what I think was the first time. He's becoming more and more loose in my arms and so I just slowly let him down on the ground. He's totally immobile and just to make sure I'm not crazy I check his heart rate. It's fast but normal, so I just wait it out for a few minutes, which the dream kind of sped through.

I was sitting next to him on the ground when he started to stir. He was moving clumsily and muttering some ramblings to himself, so I just put my hand on his back and told him to calm down and take it easy. He takes a breather to orient himself, and then he looks at me and asks "What just happened?" I was still trying to make sure I had the situation right myself, so first I asked him if he even remembered anything. He said yes, so then I briefly described a DMT breakthrough to him and how it can take you to another world full of entities, and I asked him if that's what he experienced. He said yes while still looking very mind-blown, so I patted him on the pack and said "Congrats, you want more?" His eyes got wide and he said "Noooo...." and I just laughed and said don't worry about it, obviously he would need time to integrate. I jokingly pointed out that we always have weed instead and was thinking about going to grab the bong, but then the dream ended.

Dream recall from today's naps, barely managed to fall asleep but got minilucid out of it.

I was at the stairs location near the exit from my home, i was talking about transformation with someone and we were switching some portraits on some screen deciding who can come up with the best form to do for some event. At one point he asks me "Will you rather be ____ than ____?"(can't recall words), i respond "Why not?" and then he tells some joke and dream fades out.
I wake up and take off headphones, noticing that binaural beats are still playing, but shortly i...
Wake up again and i take off headphones again but then i wake up properly.

May 05 - 8:56 a.m

Sitting in a casino with lavish surroundings with a guy who looks like Birdman. He had rings on all fingers and lots of diamond chains on. He had diamonds in his teeth, i was sitting across from him in the casino environment talking with him and i got to see an in depth look into his lifestyle. At first i thought he was on hard drugs the way he was talking to me because he talked like he was putting little effort to pronounce the words, very quiet and mumblish. Once he took his glasses off and looked into my eyes i got the feeling he wasnt on hard drugs, he was just the most intelligent being ive ever seen, it was an intence feeling seeing his eyes, its even hard to describe. He had cataract looking eyes , they were very glazed , very bright light blue eyes, they looked like ice almost. He told me" Never take from the earth. Don't even touch it unless you absolutly need it, even if some1 is offering it to you. Crazy feelings. I woke up right after he said that because my window was open and i was freezing.

i keep dreaming about the sun and sun related things, like his cataracts. Ive been looking at the sun for 2 weeks now and i have filthy rich people show up in my dreams recently.

[Home from work around 3pm. Sleep from 3:15pm to 9:15pm - deep sleep without dreams. Sleep again at 12:15am, alarm set 4am. Woke with no dream memory and back to sleep immediately. Woke around 6am.]

Dream 1
Finally, I get to take a nice hot bath and just relax for a bit. My tiny cat Harley is sitting in her usual spot on the side of the tub staring at the water. Suddenly, she overcomes her fear of water and just jumps in! She's so cute, swimming around in little circles but as she settles down and just sits in the water, I start to panic the water level might go over her nose and she would drown. I drain a bit of water from the tub and almost regret it as the chilly air hits my skin. She must have felt it too because she climbs up onto my chest and curls into a wet, furry ball. Perfect, I can get some more water back in here now.

Dream 2
I'm living in my grandmother's house again and my bedroom is downstairs. I just bought a futon and want it set in front of the TV, so the room needs a little rearranging. Time to take a break and get some homework done. There's a paper due in History in three days, so probably time to look at that. Looking at the assignment for the first time, the question follows a "what would you do if" kind of format but the scenario is incredibly vague. How close to this scenario do I have to stick? Can I change the plot? Characters? What we're doing? There's no way I can write it like this. [For the life of me I cannot remember what the question was, but I was having a lot of trouble!] Well, at least it only has to be three pages long. I'll just ask the instructor tomorrow and bang it out. Mouth falling open, I realize I've made a gross mistake. The paper isn't 3 pages long, it's 23 pages! Oh. My. God. NO way I can get this done in time. Panic sets in.

Dream 3
Finally given the opportunity to open my own business, I open a drive thru restaurant from my bedroom window. Aaron, my latest trainee from the manager program, is working with me as well. The night has been slow, business-wise, until about 5 minutes before closing. I would love to serve the guy, but he's driving a semi-truck and there is NO WAY that's fitting in the drive thru. After explaining that to the driver, he gets very irate and demands I bring out some coffee. To appease him, I ask Aaron to get him a cup.
"But we ran out of coffee, remember?"

Oh shit! He's right! "Then give him some food. Just something to get him out of here."

"Bitch! I don't want any god damn food. I ASKED for coffee! You dumb or something?!"

At this point I am tired and in no mood to deal with this guy. Starting to lose grip on my temper. "Sir, there is no need to be rude. I'm very sorry, I do not have any coffee right now. I am more than happy to get you something else but if you are going to continue yelling at me, you can leave. Thank you."

I close the window, lock up, and turn the lights off. Hearing the guy peel out of the parking lot, I double check to make sure he's gone but now there is two more semi-trucks outside. What the fuck? Half hour later, now that everything is clean and we are ready to leave, the two trucks are still outside. Seeing me, the drivers get out and walk towards me. They look very similar - mid 20s, maybe 6 feet tall, shaggy brown hair, light skin, dark eyes - so I conclude they are brothers.

One in a leather jacket starts hitting on me and dropping cheesy lines which his brother find hilarious. Thoroughly annoyed at his obnoxiousness, I curtly tell them, "We're closed and I'm going home. Night." The second brother threatens to do damage to the house or something if I do not serve them. Of course, I still refuse.

Out of nowhere, leather jacket man starts throwing up and cannot stop. The brother, and then myself, start to panic.

"Call 911! What's wrong with you?!" For whatever reason, he takes his time picking up the phone. In attempt to calm down Mr. Leather, I sit down and put his head in my lap. However, he then throws up on me and the smell is so ghastly I'm about to be sick.

Fighting to keep it down, I yell again, "Did you call the fucking ambulance? Where is it?" A few minutes later it finally shows up.

The EMT jumps out of the back and yells, "Does he have insurance?" Since when do EMTs ask for insurance?There's no answer so he asks again.

"Yea, yea, of course he does. The card is in his wallet."

He reaches into his brother's pocket but pulls out three wallets. "Wait, is that my wallet?! You guys are thieves! This is why you didn't want to call for help!"

Then I see a small Latino boy by my front door. As the EMT calls the police on the thief, I walk over to the boy, but as I get closer I see he is terrified. "Como te llamas? Como estas?" "Estoy bien..."

He switches over to English and I'm impressed with how intelligent he is and how he has almost no accent. He explains the guy stole something from him, a very fancy painting, and now that he's super sick, the boy is worried he might never get picture back.

"Don't worry hon, I'll find it for you." The scene changes and now the thief is locked in jail. Well, he's not dying at least. I found the picture and gave it back to the young boy. He was so happy and his smile so brilliant with gratitude, I remember seeing sunshine in the background. Dream ends...

Observation
After each dream, I remember retelling each one to someone. I don't know who and they didn't say anything. It seems this happens a lot in my dreams lately. Is this how I might be remembering them so vividly when I wake up? Hmm...

I was playing some Doom mod with SilentEternity. I forgot to set difficulty level when we started, but when i checked it was one level below maximum. I asked if i should set to max, but then we decided to leave it as is. The level started outside, then there was enemy base, two other marines were helping us, but i am not sure if they were player controlled or bots. Some parts of the level were some platforming puzzles, like there was one part that required jumping between small rocky platforms in the canyon.
Later on there were some ruins to which we got through teleporter. There were alot of big powerful enemies, and it were not enemies from Doom, but some weird creatures, one of them was giant thing covered with vines and it was shooting very damaging vine projectiles. After going through the ruins we were back outside and we have reached our target which was corner of the map with a number of bosses that could be fought in any order. The first one was some warrior dude, which was supposed to be powerful, but i had plasma shotgun that fired green flaming projectiles, each shot of which was taking out like 1/10 of boss's health bar. Then there was some big crab-looking boss and big monkey-looking boss, which we dealt with easily as well. I started thinking that we should have upped the difficulty.
After the game i was posting something on dreamviews and then i was in some dark room in different place and i was talking about something life related with gab, who apparently was male( ). I recall we were talking about something pretty deeply, but can't recall what exactly. Then i got some weird message from bot on Youtube, but it was not just bot, it was official YouTube bot of some kind, and started talking about that. Soon the dream ended.

I remember waking up thinking this was a healing dream. Well, that was the intension anyway: I had a pounding sinus headache which would not do away with medications, so I napped in the hope that I would feel better afterwards. I now do feel a bit better: still got a headache, but a bit more manageable.

In the dream I kept getting PMs by Sageous. I don't recall actually reading them and no contents or subjects, but I remember opening them, and they kept coming.

I wonder whether this dream is more like a metaphor for my headache: being bombarded by PMs?