non-lucid

pre-rambles: I feel that my dreams are trying to kill me more often than not.

I slowly start to stir into consciousness, or what I believe is, it's a warm day out I can feel the sun beating down on my skin. I feel grass beneath my palms, then open my eyes.

I'm in a field, There's a lone tree and I'm at the edge of a forest, littered with massive(redwood?) trees. There's a squirrel, cute and little, almost like Fu's flying squirrel. :B

The squirrel telepathically talks to me. He tells me I'm dreaming and can do whatever I want. I stand up and do a couple backflips to test out what he was thinking. Then realized I'm talking to a squirrel.

The squirrel suggests that we fly. It climbs up the lone tree in the middle of the field, and soars off, into the densely populated forest. I start the climb and realize I'm up much further than anticipated.

Step to the edge.

Splat.

I fall to my death and only then do I consider myself flying. I'm watching myself on the ground, blood seeping into the dirt.

Damn squirrel.

Tuesday, 4/23/13

Last night, bed at 12:45am - 6:50am

DR: Long and detailed

I'm with group of fighters. We are attacking or escaping from a glass, lit up corporate building. Running through corridors, at one point I go around to top of some rocks to see if the velaciraptor is waiting for us behind the corner.

As we come to the end, standing in a big hallway, next to glass exit doors, a guy in distant control room tells us, that someone needs to shut the blast doors somewhere halfway from start to finish. I have a feeling that my characted will volunteer and I kinda watch her from outside make decision. But then the guy said that he did it remotely.

So we are walking away, safe, no need to run. Walking by some glass display cases on left. In one of them is something that looks like 3 pieces of pink flower. Like the ones in Avatar, when you touch them, they detract themselfs. But they are not flowers, but a 3-piece comet hurtling through space. It was a live image of it.

NAP: 8;15 - 11:20am

- My dad is into foot fetish and I worry for the teenagers having a party in neighbors apartment, while he is out of town.
- I get upset at my mom and storm away from backyard carrying something.
- I'm leaving my hotel room. I'm not happy with the door in saloon style, because it gives no privacy. I'm locking it with lock and chain.

I'm attempting to land inside the dreamlet to be lucid. As I'm flying over some pleasant rolling hills, I see a house on the hill, which gets more sinister the closer I get to it. I say "I am there" but I know I don't mean it, so i don't transfer into LD. I change direction and land next to the tennis field. I ask some boys if they want me to throw their tennis balls over back to them.

Wow, it's been a long time since I made one of these, here goes:

Shoot the Putin:
I was in building that was so big I couldn't even see the walls or the ceiling, there were lots of pillars (one every 10m or so in all directions) and a bunch of people (one of them looked horribly similar to Putin). I somehow got into an argument with them and then they started chasing and shooting at me. We were circling around one of the pillars and I had my own gun and started firing back, the projectiles were tiny black balls which moved in a straight line but rather slow so it was possible to avoid them, they never hit me but I hit everyone of them at least once. The projectiles actually pierced into their flesh and even through bones but somehow the wounds still weren't really bad and not even bleeding. Specifically I remember shooting at Putin 3 times, the last bullet hitting, before the dream ended.

Black Fox:
I was in my old home in M. again, maybe this dream even was somehow related to the lucid I had today. I was in the cellar and the 3 rooms that were in line there somehow instead were connected into one room now. I was standing in front of that room and there was a door to this room that had a complex shape, somewhat like a distorted grid. Behind that was a black fox, he looked really tame and friendly but I still was careful how he would react to me, as he was behind that door he couldn't reach me though, not sure what he was dooing there anyway but it was his decision to be there as the other doors to the room were actually non-existent. He came close to the grid-like door and put his paws on the metal shape, and I carefully touched them, the fox apparently being friendly indeed and content with being touched. Some time later I was walking around and wondered where he went after seeing the cat eating his food. Maybe there was some other scene with that fox but I don't remember.

Metal Gear Solid [The girl and the brothers]:
This dream was entirely about 2 games playing in the MGS universe, one of them having a girl as the protagonist which had a blade mounted to her right arm. The other was about 2 brothers, one of them with a gun mounted to his left arm, the other with a gun mounted to his right arm, I saw them running and jumping through a few scenes, most notably one where the brothers were walking alongside so that their guns were pointing outwards, they also were using them a few times in that scene though I didn't see what they were shooting at.

I was in a school, not necessarily mine, but a school nonetheless. I'm assuming it was mine because of the people, but rather than it being an L shape like my real school it was more of a square shape. I was in a drama club meeting, just sitting down on one of the benches in the drama room while we talked about things which escape my memory. We were probably talking about the work needed on the theater. Then, one of the girls sat next to me and started holding my hand. At the time, being non-lucid and all, I simply thought "oh, cool, I have a chance with this chick." The rest of the meeting was rather uneventful. I decided to go outside for a bit, maybe to the store or something, and on my way down the stairs I was distracted by some random misses, either having a midlife crisis or whining about some bullshit high school drama. I couldn't tell. Maybe both. Forgetting what I originally went to do, I went back to the drama room. Not much happened. Then off to class. Cool. It must've been the start of a new year or something, 'cause I didn't know anyone in the class. Except for the drama club peoples, all of which would've graduated by now if it was a new year. I decided to sit with them. While the teacher was doing attendance, we just chatted, as one normally would during a class. Then I noticed a crowd of people going out to a bus or something. I dunno. I knew one or two of them, so, being lazy, I climbed out the window of the room that previously was on the second floor and apparently now is on the first, and had a bit of a chat. After that I remember being in a very nondescript thing up to my waist. It was at this time I realized I was dreaming, but I probably got excited and forgot I was dreaming, or didn't know what to do and just let things run their course. No matter, as the dream didn't last very much longer.

[Not sure to call this a lucid or non lucid, so I'm gonna tag this DJ as both.]

Last night I recall the following:

I had to go to town to buy books. I travelled to a smaller town that I remember from my childhood, but it is not the same. I need to get a bus from here to town before the shops shut - it is already 4pm and Sunday. the shopping centre where I am closes, I get asked to leave - but am sent a back way so I am late for the bus I need. I see it drive away, but I am not too bothered nor do I make any effort to catch up with it or stop it.

I wake - and suspect (for some reason) that this dream is to do with my career and work life ....?

DJ Log: April 12, 2013 – 8:15AM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I'm sitting in a hotel room with a couple of guys talking about switching rooms. One guy is a really tall blonde and the other guy is medium height with brown hair. The blonde guy comes over and sits next to me and leans his head on my shoulder. I put my arm around him and rub his shoulder. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back and suddenly wake up.

DJ Log: April 12, 2013 – 7:30AM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I am in a hotel room and decide to change rooms. I quickly pack up all my bags and leave the hotel room on the first floor and get into the elevator. I fight the door a bit to stay open while I load about 6 or 7 bags into the elevator. Once inside, I see that there are 4 buttons on the control panel. Suddenly, I feel the elevator moving, so I push the “3” button. The elevator stops and I see a “3” on the wall when the door opens.

(Note: This was a notable event, as the elevator actually went to where it was meant to.)

I get off on the floor and drag all my bags with me. I can see my room across the hall and I walk in. The room is pretty shitty. It looks like it has been a smoking room that hasn't been cleaned in like 50 years. The walls are covered in smoke stains and there is black soot growing from all the outlets and switches. I say, “Fuck this, I ain't staying in this room.”

I turn around and walk back out toward the elevator. I see three other rooms which have their door wide open. In one room, there is a guy laying in his bed watching TV. In another, there are a few people sitting on the couch. I get to the elevator and push the button. After a moment, an elevator down the hall dings and the door opens. I try to drag all my bags to the door, but it closes just as I get there. I drag my bags close to the door and push the button again.

The elevator door opens again and I look inside and say, “What the fuck.” Just inside the door is a set of 4 steps that lead into the elevator. I wedge one bag in the door to keep it open, then I carry my bags down the steps and set them on the floor. I pick up my last bag and notice that there are no buttons at all on the elevator panel. I stand there for a second and the elevator starts moving. When it moves, only the middle part of the floor moves. The sides are open like an old industrial elevator. The walls don't move with the floor. It moves for a bit, then it stops and I suddenly wake up.

DJ Log: April 10, 2013 – 8:00AM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I am in a shopping mall, walking around through different stores. Suddenly, I levitate slightly off the ground and begin to float along in a single direction, kind of like when Second Life lags and you just float uncontrollably through walls and everything. I can't control where I am going, but it is interesting to see what's inside the walls between the stores. I can see all the pipes and wires and stuff in there.

I float for a bit, then stop in a music instrument store like Guitar Center or something like that. I look around for a bit, then I find a really cool rack synth module called Neural Synth. I walk to the counter and tell this cute Asian guy that I would like to try out the Neural Synth. He looks at me puzzled for a moment, so I repeat my request. Suddenly, he jumps up and gives me a big hug and kisses me on the cheek. Then, he walks behind me and grabs onto my shoulders and holds on as I begin to float off the ground again. I float, carrying him with me as I float over to the other end of the store to another counter. It almost seems as though he is driving me around.

A lady is standing behind the counter when I arrive. He tells the lady what I wanted and she goes into a back area for a moment, then comes out and hands me a wall-wart power supply. I give her a puzzled look, then she walks away for a moment. She returns and places a Yamaha box of sorts on the counter. It has no buttons or anything on it. I look at it, then tell her that's not what I wanted. I walk her over to the rack of synth modules and point to the one I want. She says, “Oh, you want that one.” She pauses for a moment then says, “That's an interesting one.” She goes into the back area and looks for one. After a short bit, I start roaming around the store then I wake up.

DJ Log: April 3, 2013 – 6:15AM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I am driving through an older development in my home town, looking for a place where a friend of mine from many years ago lives. I pull into a circle at the end of a street and say to myself, “Shit, I think I'm on the wrong street. I should be on the next street over.” I pull into a driveway to turn around, then I start to back up. As soon as I turn my head, I see the guy I'm looking for walking into his house. I stop and wave and he waves back. I roll down my window and tell him, “I'm looking for a certain place and I'll come back once I check it out.” He waves again and walks inside.

I drive around to the next street over and try to drive up the road. The road is blocked, so I get out and walk into what looks like a clothing store in the middle of the road. I look for a moment, then turn around and walk back to the house I stopped at before. I knock on the door and my friend answers the door and says, “Come on in.” I walk in and just inside the door, he stops and looks at me, then he smiles and reaches up and boops me on the nose and gives me a really cute grin. We talk for a bit then I wake up.

22ND APRIL 2013
I fell asleep around 10:30, cause I was paranoid about bedbugs or something idk

I was at school. I set my binder down at a random table near a bike rack and for some reason I realized I had to walk home. I walked home and accidentally left my binder there. When I got 'home' it was this huge mansion that I'd never seen or been in before, but in the dream I just thought it was my home. I went upstairs to my room (which looked exactly like my room in real life. I realized I left my binder at school. I walked back and saw my best friend Brianna. She said, "If you had been at the s'more party this winter we would never have become friends." I guess I had, in fact, been at this "s'more party" and I remembered it. It was nighttime and there was about a half a foot of snow on the rooftops and ground. I vaguely wondered why it was snowing, I never remember it snowing in the three years I've lived in California. Anyway I was on top of the short portable building and there was this random blonde girl I'd never seen before. She was trash talking me and stuff, (can't remember what she said) and then she punched me in the side. I fell in the snow on top of the building. Then there was a burning sensation on the left side of my stomach (It wasn't really painful, just burning.) Somehow I knew the girl was doing it, but I didn't know how. As this was happening I noticed her shirt went above her stomach. She had a tattoo around the same place where I was burning and it looked like one of the little "Parental advisory explicit content" things you see on music albums, except it had different words on it. I wondered what it meant. The girl kicked me, I think in the chin, and cheers erupted from my schoolmates on the snowy ground below. I felt winded from the kick, but no real pain. Then I snapped back into my dream "reality" and walked back home, forgetting my binder AGAIN. When I got home I realized I didn't have my binder. I went back and got it and brought it back home and the dream ended.

[Dream 2] Lucid
I was in a cave in Skyrim. (I play skyrim way too much, 2/3 of my lucid dreams have been about Skyrim) I was fighting two men and a falmer (goblin sort of thing, for those of you who don't play skyrim.) I killed the first guy with my sword and then I thought, "This is a dream, isn't it?" I was lucid and (I told myself that next time I was lucid I would go on a rampage) went on a rampage. I was holding a shield with sharpened edges so I threw it like a frisbee at the falmer, slicing it in the chest and killing it. Then I thought that I would try out a "dream power" or whatever and I pushed the second guy away with a telekinetic thrust of my right hand and he died. Then I walked into a huge dome shaped chamber. The floor was stone. I decided to grow a tree in it. (Because who can grow a tree in stone?) I imagined it growing out of the floor and then lifted both my hands: a tree grew out of the cracks in the stone. Then I decided to fly. This time I WOULD be able to fly (In my first lucid I tried to fly but couldn't) and so I started flying and flew a little ways. Then the dream faded away.
[Dream 3] Nonlucid

I had a false awakening. I was at my mom's house in my room (exactly like I was in real life) I forgot to do a reality check. I got up and walked out into the kitchen and saw my Uncle Chris and this other good looking man I didn't really know, but I felt like I knew him. My uncle asked me, smiling, "Jayden, how come you woke up so late?" I looked at the clock and it said "5:41". Maybe If I had checked it again I would have become lucid, but I didn't. Then I woke up to the real world and vaguely wondered why I had woken up twice in a row.
All of my lucid dreams are DILDs.

Fragment

I was in a fancy restaurant with my great aunt, and my mom. I was talking with my great aunt, but I can't remember what about.

Alien Attack

I was in some kind of courtyard or plaza with S and some elderly woman. The plaza was surrounded by small mountains, that were kind of orange in color with red stripes. The sky was clear of clouds, and kind of a blue-green color.
I had a small rifle, and some alien ships came down over us and began attacking by sending aliens in small drop-pods. The alien ships reminded me of the ones from Halo games, being purple with curving, organic designs. The aliens that began attacking, reminded me of Halo games as well.
I began making my way around the courtyard, looking for cover. A full-on battle started.
I put my hand on top of a low retaining wall, and felt a sharp pain. There was a small piece of broken glass on top of the wall, and it was stuck into one of my fingers. I lost focus on the battle and was focused on getting the glass out.
Once I finally had it out, I found out that one of the aliens that was attacking flanked me. The alien was kind of big and hunched over. Despite the surprise, I killed him with my rifle.

I was in some military base, with silver metal walls. Some drill sergeant man told me that I was part of an elite team of men training to fight the aliens that were attacking earth.
He gave me some device that allowed me to build defensive turrets to combat the aliens. He told me that the more skilled I was with the device (Well it was more like a superpower, there was no actual device), the more turrets I could build at one time.
There was a wide window on one side of the room we were in. There was a firing range through the window, as though it was designed that you would fire through the window into the other room.
There were some training dummies that would move along rails at the far end of the other room.
I used my turret-building device to build four turrets. I threw them through the window. The first two that I built were large, and projected orange bubble shields. The second two were much smaller and didn't have shields. But all four turrets started shooting down range and shot all of the training dummies.
The training sergeant man was really impressed that I could build four turrets with the device/power.

I was in outer space, walking on the outside surface of a human-made space battleship. There were dozens of alien spaceships attacking us, and there were some large planets visible in the sky. A white planet, and a aqua-colored planet.
I used my turret building power and made three turrets. These were not like auto gun turrets that I had built before, but rather gun turrets that people could operate. I also created rails so that the turrets could move around on the surface of the human space battleship.
I got onto one of the turrets that I had created. I would have to sit down in a chair to be able to fire it. The turret fired a powerful, but slow moving blast of energy.
Three of the alien attack ships got into a formation and the bellies of the craft would open up to reveal a huge laser weapon. The commander radioed me and told me to shoot the laser weapons. They were the weak point of the alien craft and shooting them would also stop them from firing.
I did so, carefully balancing each of the three alien ships, making sure none of the lasers could charge and shoot our ship.
The commander told me that the center ship (It had a name, I can't remember it now.) Was special. It opened it's laser weapon bay and it was constructing a smaller alien ship with robotic arms inside the weapon bay.
I targeted the construction ship with my turret and a health bar appeared as a HUD. I shot as fast as I could until the health bar drained to nothing. The comammader said that the alien ships were going critical and were going to explode!
My mom came into my room and woke me up. I missed the Explosion.

Dream Fragment:Me and my half sister are in my bedroom, there are posters all over my wall (sort of like in reality except not the poster I have) she points at some greaser dude on one of the posters and tells me that that is what some brother of one of her female friends looks like. I tell her she can have the poster but I don't tell her that I was thinking I don't even know why I have that poster on my wall, i don't know who the dude is, from some rockabilly band it looks like, so I tear it off the wall and give it to her and she leaves my room and i'm relieved that she left my room.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing some MOBA type game that featured fully destructable map and the theme was modern while decorations were more eastern medieval-looking. Then later in different multiplayer game i was in some castle ruins-looking place and there was hunt for the items, which were giving the points to the score. I had to climb into a few places to get items that gave more score. Then i was apparently readded into old skype group, but no one was there except for DB. We were trying to combine our efforts in game, but that was not very successful. Later i was climbing some ruined tower in search for items and also was going through some volcanic cave place.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was going through some FPS game, final level was happening in some pyramid and there was an final boss that was looking like an alien of some kind. Final fight was happening inside the pyramid and there apparently was an river and those eastern red gate-like thingies.

Dream 3:

I was playing AI War: Fleet Command and there were weird clock units that i had to move somewhere in time. Then i was attacking enemy base with my fleet, again there was time limit. At some point during the base destruction dream ended.

non lucid

*Crying for the life of my cat!
*My friend makes it clear that this lounge song is awesome.

After two nights of involuntary sleep deprivation, I was really happy to get some decent sleep. Wasn’t really trying to lucid but got two DILDs as a bonus.

Total Sleep time: 8.30 hrs

Dream recall technique: wrote a few sentences and reviewed in mind; Dreams 2-6 were really one big dream chunk, but after the lucid my memory got really fragmented so I am missing the link between scenarios.

Dream1- DILD: I am in our old place (DS), my dad is talking about some old prosciutto, which he throws away. It is brownish dark in the room and there is a heavy storm outside. I feel as if the building is hanging in the air, the floor is swaying. I try to feel as stable as possible and wait the whole thing to be over, so I lay on the floor and observe the swaying motion. I must have fallen asleep…I find myself flying in the air. I know that I am dreaming now, I look below me, there is a game-like map, green fields with unnatural colors. I decide to take my time and do some flying, I go very high, then I feel some fear of heights, so I zoom-fly down. I am observing my reaction as I do this. The moment I reach a certain level of altitude, I get like a spasm on my back, which makes me want to fly lower. I find it entertaining and repeat this a few more times. Memory gap…Now, I am on the street and in front of me is a friend from school. This time she is behaving badly and is stepping on me with her shoe. I am still lucid, so I think I want to play with her. So she’s bad ah? I don’t care what she does to me, I will enjoy observing any unpleasant feeling, I will be detached. I feel some pressure-like pain and decide this is cool. I struggle a bit with her and overpower her, she is just staring at me now. But then, I feel that I can’t move my arms, they are twisted around, and I can’t fix that, there is some pain too. This is not fun anymore, so I decide it’s time to wake and DJ. I wake and write down some notes.

Dream2: Two Buddhist nuns are in the same room with me. One of them is a Swedish woman, who was a TV star when she was young, the other one is Asian and quite old. Some kind of lecture is about to take place. The nuns expect people to have read a particular brochure and ask questions. I have not prepared, so I will ask a practical question “How many hours a day do Buddhist monks meditate”. Less than the expected number of people enter the room, the lecture starts. For some reason, I don’t ask the question. Memory gap. The lecture is over and everybody goes out to perform a ritual, they are prostrating themselves, squatting in front of statue maybe of Shiva. I get confused about this, but imitate people nonetheless. I then remember that there were two lectures, one about Shiva, one with the Buddhist nuns. I chose the nuns I remember, at this point I see the image of something like a garden in front of a monastery I have been two about two months ago, in another dream. After I am finished with imitating others, I go back to the building.

Fragment3: In that building I am going back somewhere but the corridors are really narrow and there is a guy going in the opposite direction with some pillows. I finally manage to go in a room, where I meet a Russian guy. He tells me that I am his girlfriend now, and informs me what kind of expectations his dad has. While I want to be friends with the Russian guy, I tell him that I cannot possibly meet their expectations because I have a boyfriend.

Fragment4: I am moving by means of holding on to the rail tracks of a tram, travelling as they move.

Fragment5: I am on the street and there is a large white peacock flying in the sky! I observe it for quite a while until it lands. The sight is fascinating.

Dream6 - DILD: I am walking with a Chinese DC, she is explaining something about Chinese immigrants. We are about to enter some kind of mall/underground. There are many people there. I become lucid. The Chinese DCs guide me to a certain direction because it is so crowded. I notice a small screen with some kind of writing there. Five words, I read them out loud, a few times, they don’t change. I want to write this in my dream journal so I repeat this to myself and to nearby DCs many many times, until am sure I remember it. Out of the five words, I only remember the word “daily”. (what’s wrong with my lucid memory?) I really like reading stuff, so I guess I subconsciously summon more stuff to read, I see some poster and I concentrate on it. There is a mix of letters there, I try to read it out loud and laugh because it sounds absolutely ridiculous.

I decide to move on, but notice that the surroundings have changed while I was playing this little game. Now there are dark stairs going somewhere where I really don’t want to go. I want to have more light, I might have shouted something like “Light” but nothing happens. I want to change the scene, so I close my eyes for a while, despite the fact that I am a bit concerned it will all disconnect. I feel as if I haven’t physically moved from there, but the surroundings have changed, now this is like large underground parking lot. It is dark again, there are no people around, it feels creepy. I am pissed off because I don’t like this place! I hide behind a truck. I want to change the scene. What do I have to do, rub my hands? No, I shouldn’t do that! I can’t change the scene, I really have to read some more on that! I decide to wake up and maybe DEILD to another dream since I don’t want to stay here. I close my eyes, I want to disconnect. I am in the void, I also feel my legs, my physical legs. They are kind of paralysed, but I feel them submerged into some kind of electric thing, like electric water maybe, between my ankles and knee caps, I like that feeling and observe it with interest. It goes away and fall asleep to have a non-ld.

Dream7: Me and my guests are in a shower cabin. Two of us taking a shower, the third watching us outside the shower. This is the shower cabin of our guests and I have to clean it. They tell me that since I am cleaning the shower, I might as well clean the toilet seat as well. I wake up.

---------------------------

Side notes:

- Did not RC or stabilize in both DILDs, they were stable and vivid

- Dream amnesia: did not remember TOTM, although I thought about DV when trying to read the letters

- LD dream recall: after browsing some dream journal notes of mine, I have noticed on some occasions my lucid memory deletes itself rather fast, and I remember some non-lucids in much more detail. Today’s lucids were very vivid and detailed, yet I forgot quite a lot. I think I have read in some DJs that other dreamers also forget some lucids, so that is not a new phenomenon. I wonder why that is.

-Changing the scene: I will have to read more about this because it seems that I can’t remember how or what to do. A reminder to myself- when trying to change the scene, try to picture where you want to be, not just close your eyes! (although closing the eyes kind of worked just the scene was unpleasant again)