non-lucid

Saturday 3/30/12 Bed 1am - 9:30am

DR 1 - It was long and very detailed.
I was walking around town with someone. We have a destination in mind and are in a hurry. We are tired from the long walk. Taking shortcut, but turns out it's and entrance to movies, so have to backtrack.

I come to a indoor swimming pool. Roof is not covering the entire area, so it's kinda indoor - outdoor pool. There is a walkway around the pool, made out of tiles. Pool is separated into 2 parts, 1 larger and 1 smaller. I walk around. Lots of people in the water, that looks like ocean size of a pool.

I see dark shadow with some white patch. It's a great white shark and I start yelling at people to get out. But there is lots of noise and they can't hear me. I keep yelling, telling people on shore to yell, looking for a lifegueard.

Then there is another shadow. They are coming closer to people and swimming all around. I squat and now I can see as if I was in the water. I see one shark coming to surface and grabbing a toy pail. He dragges it with him. People still oblivious. I keep yelling until i think the start noticing and come out.

Now the shark made it into the adjacent pool through some opening, and since one pool was higher than the other, I cann hear him splash as he dropps to the second pool.

DR 2 - Very long and very detailed.
I'm in a house with people that owe me money. I know they can't pay me, so it surprises me, when he says "here is $500" and gives me cash and gift cards. I start looking at it to count and see one gift card is for $9. Then the woman starts counting them.

Now i'm on the run from there. Going through open areas and other houses, keeping out of sight.

3. dream just before I woke up can't recall at all.

I'm trying to keep my dream journal together but little time to do meditation and got other things on my mind. Nevertheless keeping the detail in when I can and ensuring my phone is available and charged for me to write stuff down.

Most interesting non-lucids were yesterday when I had a weird one where I am teaching kids in a strange building. At one point I remember weird things happening like spaghetti spontaneously moving from my plate to a plastic bag. I'm at the top of stairs running after a lady that helped me in teaching.
Next one I'm discussing the film Chinatown with a friend and we've missed an art house film showing - I could have spotted I was dreaming if I had noticed how difficult it was for me to recall details of the film, but it didn't.

Anyway - had lucid on Wed where I'm walking through my home town and I'm 16 again. I'm reenacting my teen years as I wanted to live them. I kept stability without trying but as fears my Mum would realise I was lucid dreaming kicked in I gradually lost stability.
Next lucid was today when I had a dream of snogging some girl, who then starts to choke me, next thing I'm snogging Nicholas Hoult after which I wake up. I am a little bi, so enjoyed that too.

Considering I have a heavy project I'm working on and not doing lucid practices all the time it's quite encouraging, hopefully I can get back to controlling dreams as I feel like what I'm doing is random stuff from a disoriented mind rather than like being in charge. Only thing lucid I'm doing is reality checks, where I try and think of doing a different one each time in the hope these checks become natural and more about thinking than automatic mindlessness. The crux is going to be getting back to full lucid practice without overdoing it - e.g. a girl in my meetup group once said that the worst thing she ever did was thinking too much about lucidity when joining the group, as it reduced her lucidity and she didn't become lucid until she relaxed again. Her lucidity is overall better since joining the meetup group, but initially there was a drop.

i was watching a scene from a movie where a female version of batman was fighting a redheaded woman in a red superhero suit. the dream would alternate between movie scenes and visions of two iphones, one with a grey back and one with a red back, moving around and colliding with each other.

there was another dream where i found a beautiful fur-trimmed leather coat at a thrift store. a strange woman invited me to her house because she had clothes she wanted to give to me. the dream faded before anything else happened.

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Dream recall method: noted key words on paper pad upon naturally waking up during night. Next time will write a sentence instead of key word and try to write more legibly

Dream1 Keywords, 3 hrs after falling asleep: ballet, rain?

Fragment2: I am watching as a famous comedian gets to the stage. As he does so he stumbles and falls and everybody is commenting that. Apart from that the audience loves him. He is participating in a challenge game, where he has to match 16 large pictures shown on a screen to the word describing each, but the word is in a foreign language. There are a few pictures of animals like three pups on the pics. He makes a mistake in his first choice.

Fragment3: I am back to history class (DS) and the history teacher is angry with me because I am late again. One of my nerd classmates is ready just like in old times with a long paper which she is about to read in front of the whole class. I wonder out loud how she manages to do that, to prepare so well, now that she has a husband a son and a job to take care of.

Fragment4: I am in some apartment full of people. I notice that hardcore music is playing in the background. While I do enjoy it, I think it will be too much for my guests to listen to it for such a long time, so I decide to change it. I go to the strange music making device where there is place for like five CDs, and turn the music off. A strange silence follows...
In one of the rooms there is a guy that fixes electrical appliances and stuff like that, there is a queue on the door, people waiting for him. There is a lamp that he repaired so he will bring it out for people to collect. I kind of like that guy, so some almost innocent play starts to develop, but I interrupt the whole thing. He goes to the nearby room and I follow him. I look at him and I know he is an alien, because his shape begins to shift. This is very interesting to observe, very fast his facial features and body color change like on that MJ song, but he retains the same size and the facial features are always male.

Fragment5: I am with my good friend on the streets of my home town. We were supposed to go somewhere, but my mom appears and demands full attention and that I simply abandon my friend on the street. She tells me we are going to where grandma is waiting, a place my parents bought in the dream.
I don't want to leave my friend but still tell her that we are going somewhere else. My friend decides to come along.

We are in the place now, my grandma, mom and me are sitting on a table, food on the table, some delicious cakes. An old pensioner comes and tells me that he would like to eat cake so much but he normally cannot afford it, so whenever he has the chance to buy a cake he enjoys it so much. My grandma asks what the old man just said and my mom replies that he just said that he likes cake. That is so not true, and I become angry shouting that the old man has no money for the cake. My grandma does not care at all. This makes me even angrier so I spill the orange juice on her.

Something with the team leader from produce, I forget his name. He approached me and I was thinking "Aw crap, he's gonna try to complain about the compost and blame it on bakery." But I woke up before he had a chance to open his fat mouth.

Dream recall from non-lucid naps, fragments.

Nap #1(fragments):

I was on some kind of island with volcano and i was racing with someone and there were some weird creatures. Later i was back at home discussing pokemon games with family, but then dad got randomly obsessed with the idea of turning off my pc for no reason, and as soon as it got turned off dream ended.

Nap #2(fragments):

I was playing some game where i was controlling various mechas to get through level, which looked like some kind of forest area. Then after that i was discussing with LV which mecha from that game was better, i voted for red mechacrab because it obviously had superior range and damage, even though it was slow, and also it's preupgrade form, which looked like green mecha grub, had good characteristics too. LV was voting for mechawolf, i can't recall why.

Even though this dream was about DV conversation, the characters appeared visually like real not just as text. However, I do not remember what any of the dream character representation of DV members looked like.

I just remember the last bit:

TiredPhil (speaking in animated anger to another DV member): "You know it's obvious who is going to help me take lucidity up a level, and help me achieve a higher level of enlightenment."

Felt like I was a player in BF3, in some shitty place like a house next to a alleyway or something. Probably India.

I see two dudes crouching down waiting for someone and I end up killing them, but I knew that they were players* or NPCs*? so I was more confident that I wouldnt die.

weird part: I start humping some lady, but put a pillow in between me and her, a holographic screen comes up over her playing some x-rated video of an asian girl doing the reverse cowgirl, (this was taking place outside the house, but a mountain side blocks sunlight and the outside from looking in?) someone comes outside and we stop. I think.

Felt it was semilucid maybe.

Went to bed saying: Lucid Dreaming is Easy.

I am in a forest with my friend, who is suppose to be meeting her friend that she loves. I jump through the trees and over logs, when I pass by him. He is short for his age, and I don't get the chance to see his face completely. They run off and I am stuck with a fat kid that resembles someone I knew who was a few grades under me in middle school, his name in the dream is Charlie. I walk with him for a few seconds, and he is mumbling something that I can't understand. I then run off towards a tall building. Inside the building, I find my old Spanish 2 teacher and a few Indian ladies.

I don't remember the rest of the dream, it was really fuzzy.

I am in my room, except it is bigger and looks like a luxurious house or apartment with walls and rooms and kitchen and panorama windows and a sunset outside and everything, but still with hints of it being my good old room. In the room with me, there's a tall beautiful Asian girl. My head tells me she's my more-or-less forced mate. We're deep in a conversation and she tells me she was something along the lines of an African princess. As we speak, short glimpses of walking through stinky cattle carcasses lined up behind a small hill with thin trees in a grassy area appear before my eyes. The rest of the conversation is very unclear to me, but I somehow appeared on the chair in front of my computer where I was doing work, when I realized I seemed disinterested in what she had to say. I was unsure what she just said to me, so I replied:
"Oh, so how did that go?" She lit a bit up again with the excitement of me being interested and kept talking.

Side note: I believe this dream was caused from me stumbling across this odd video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiSSDFC3LgA

I had some difficulty initially falling asleep which disrupted attempts to use a mantra. Attempted DEILD last night. Wasn't successful at entering a lucid dream, but it did result in a very long non-lucid that resumed every time I went back to sleep.

These dreams are non-lucid but there is a very, very low level of semi-lucidity running through them, especially the later ones. I was not lucid but had some idea on a very basic level that it was not real, although I didn't realize it was a dream or even unconsciously influence the dreams. The fact that Bun popped up in the first dream was a clue that my dreaming mind was aware on at least a basic level, as summoning and petting Bun was one of my lucid goals. It's especially telling that in the dream, I was aware that this Bun was not the "real" Bun but she was still a perfect replica.

#1 - I have a pet rabbit again. I have named her Bun, after my last pet rabbit, and she looks exactly the same as my "old" Bun. I understand that this new rabbit is not my old rabbit (who died of old age) but she looks and behaves a lot like her. I don't feel sad in this dream. I feel happy that I have my rabbit back, in some form, again.

This is interesting to have popped up in a non-lucid dream, since one of my lucid goals is to summon Bun, pet her, and keep her in my base so I can play with her whenever I want to see her again. This was one of the goals I meditated on as I fell asleep. Alright, I know that's sad, but I miss her a lot.

On a side note: domesticated house-rabbits can be trained with very simple commands. They're devious, though, and not nearly as obedient as a dog.

I am building a cage for her. The cage came in a box, in several pieces, and is about 6' long. I've built a rabbit cage before, but this one is put together very oddly, so I'm having some difficulty.

In addition, New Bun is not trained like Old Bun is, so instead of obediently waiting in the same room as me while I prepare her cage, she keeps running off into areas of the apartment she shouldn't be in. I'm in an old bedroom of mine with light brown carpet. New Bun keeps chewing on the carpet and furniture, even when I tell her "No". I'm not angry, but I am a bit exasperated, because I spent so much time training the last rabbit not to do that and I don't want to have to do it all over again. I keep chasing after New Bun and carrying her back to my room, which is difficult because holding onto a squirming rabbit who doesn't want to be carried AND doesn't want to go where you're taking her is like trying to hold onto an angry water balloon.

She runs off AGAIN and this time I find her wriggling behind a server case, where there are a ton of wires. She's nibbling on the wires and doesn't pay attention to me scolding her. I pull the wires aside and try to grab her, but she wriggles in further. I disconnect the power so she doesn't electrocute herself. I have to move the entire case and disconnect all of the wires in order to get to her, and by now I'm pretty irritated.

I carry her (still as squirmy as before) back to the room and set her down. "Stay!" I command. She doesn't listen perfectly, but doesn't try to charge out the door again. I finally finish putting the cage together, and she bounds into her cage and settles down for a nap.

I wake up. I meditate on the dream and attempt to re-enter.

I fail at a DEILD and when the dream picks up again, I am non-lucid. My "mother", a woman with short blonde hair whom I have never met, comes into the room where I am petting Bun. She tells me that I need to get ready for my graduation ceremony. I close the door to Bun's cage and tell her goodbye.

The dream jumps locations and I am in a graduation ceremony that is being held at a place that is somehow simultaneously a yacht club and a water park. There is dance music playing and there is some sort of after-party. DJs have divided into Red and Blue teams, and over the course of the party, people are supposed to vote on which team's mix they like the most. Blue Team wins, although I don't particularly care. They put their mix CDs up for sale, but I'm not really interested; it's all super clubby "bro" techno. The party ends and it's time for me to pack my stuff up and move.

I wake up and use the bathroom. I meditate on the dream as I do so. When I lie back down the dream resumes. Throughout this section of the dream, I am almost nearly awake; I'm more aware that this is dreamlike but still not aware that I am dreaming, and do not affect the dream even subconsciously.

A friend of the family is helping me move to college. He looks like Dwight Shrute, for some reason, but he's not nearly as much of a jerk or nearly that creepy. The blonde haired woman - who was my mom before, but is now just a friend - rented a U-haul so she and her family could move their stuff, and is allowing me to pack some of my stuff in it since I'm moving somewhere that's sort of on the route to their new home. It's a long trip, and I ride in the back of the cab. "Dwight" chats with me the whole time. I want to chat with him about a movie about a group of people who make video games, but I can't remember the name of the movie and it's frustrating me.

Toward the end of the trip, the blonde woman reappears in the passenger seat - I hadn't known she was there, I think to myself, and think that it's so odd that she suddenly appeared there, but don't gain lucidity. I begin to look through my wallet; I only have a $20 and a $5. "Dwight" had paid for the gas and the blonde woman had paid for the U-haul, so I feel like I owe them something. I am debating the tackiness of handing them $25 total and telling them to split the money amongst themselves when I wake up.

I was apparently teaching how to do WILD to a group of people and then we were adventuring somewhere and were in battle. I recall scene with crashed plane in some area with containers.

Dream recall from nap ~20 hours ago that i had written in keywords but didn't had time to write it there earlier, also i feel like dream was fairly long, 24 hours of dreamtime maybe, even though i didn't had much detailed recall.

I was in the subway, moving to some different place. Then i was at home, testing some things in fraxy, there were some new bosses and interestingly it was 3D and had completely different gameplay. I experimented with some things, but later i figured that i had some control over things, but instead of thinking that i am dreaming i was thinking that i was in some alternate world that was in my mind(close enough ).
I was doing various things, there was some weird city built out of various materials and some stuff was on fire, i was getting ladder to go through, also there was a dog that was getting drunk.
I was back at home and was playing around with ability to create various characters, i created a bunch and then was watching some videos with them, some humanoid dog was one of the characters and one of the videos was something hockey related.
After a while something made me think that i was dreaming, but i didn't had much awareness nor memories of waking life so i was worried about it ending, and then i heard voice of all characters, which sounded evil: 'we don't want you to leave'.
Dream faded and scene changed into some other place and i lost lucidity, i was hiding from two doctors who were running around with scissors and wanted to cut off my dick( ).
Then i woke up back at home, but before i could do reality check, objects around suddenly started vanishing and then i woke up properly.

I was playing a weird sort of table tennis in the very small room before the bathroom in my house. There was a 'dealer' or 'server' who started a round by throwing a ball into the air at the little table in front of me, which I then had to shoot through the door opening into the entrance room, where my old classmate and untrustworthy friend Tobias stood at his own little table. After a few tries I noticed that it would be impossible for me to get the ball to his table, as the direct line between our tables was blocked by the wall and the door frame. I said what I had just noticed and the dream moved to the hallway above the stairway. We now stood a bit closer to each other too, used the same table, but had a piece of paper we each had to hit. I barely managed to serve the ball in a way that even hit my own paper, and never managed to hit his paper as well. I said I was horrible at this, and we stopped the game. I walked toward the stairs, but I noticed an upright case with visible papers in it. The front paper was the drawings I had drawn and hung up on the wall next to my bed to help me lucid dream. On this paper, I had drawn an anchor for stabilization, and an unnatural looking bird creature with markings on it, which is my reality checking bird. Whenever I see this bird, on paper or walking around somewhere, I check to see if I'm dreaming. For some reason though, when I saw the paper in the dream, at first sight it looked like the anchor but with a skull beside it. Tobias asked what I had drawn, so I told him it was a skull. When I got closer, it was just a bunch of doodles, and the skull had turned into the shape of an eye, so I corrected myself to Tobias, it was not a skull, it was an eye.

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Other info: My sleep schedule went overboard again. At least we have proven again that bad schedule results in more deep sleep, less dream recall and diminishing LD chances.

Dream recall method: None. I really felt like giving it all up and skipping the DJ today, but forced myself to write those fragments before they were gone.

Dream1: I am watching a show of some kind and am in the audience. Initially this thing was supposed to start late in the evening, but it got postponed so it began at 4.00 am. Towards the end of it, it is 11.00pm the same evening, and I find it a bit strange that it finished earlier than it began. There are a lot of parents with their small kids and they complain that it is getting really late and their kids need to be in bed. So the show is just about to finish. My mom is sitting next to me. Most of the audience at this point consists of black older women. There is a moderator kind of like Oprah. Music starts to play and everybody begins to clap hands church style. I am trying to move my body in the rhythm but something in me doesn’t wanna do it. I can’t do what they expect me to. Next thing, a song from the 60ies begins to play, a song which I knew in the dream very well. Once more, everybody including my mom knows the moves of this song. It is a strange sequence of finger moves around the head and on the face. My mom encourages me to participate, but again I just can’t do it because this time for real I have no idea what the moves are, so I feel a bit stupid.

Fragment2: I am going back in some place where I see an old friend of mine. It looks like he has made a huge mess, there is lots of water and dirt on the floor and he is trying to clean it with a mop. I wonder if I should do something about it but it looks like he is finishing up. I take some cauliflower from the floor and throw it in the trash. I go back to look for my friend, wondering whether I should tell him about LD and what he will think about it.

Fragment3: Another friend of mine. I was wondering if he is really back. Don’t remember much, but I perceived him very vividly, I guess because I couldn’t believe it was him.

Fragment4: I look around and notice that I am in some German looking city. I say to someone that this looks like the same city I went to a concert a while ago. [I had a very long and vivid dream where I went to a concert in a small German city a few months ago. That dream concert was really cool!]. Then I look around and see that perhaps it’s not the same city.

Fragment5: I was reading a post on DV.

Note to self: “I am going to bed on time tonight. I will notice every feeling I have when falling asleep”.