non-lucid

Dream recall from today's naps.

Nap #1:

I was attempting WILD and the room was different, but it was normal for my dream self, after attempt i managed to randomly recall a fragment, which is most likely from previous dream, then i went through some rooms and different clocks were showing different time, later some family members decided to help me with WILDing for some reason and as i closed i saw moderator panel of some forum.

Recalled fragment: Some grey/rusty indoors area.

Nap #2:

I was apparently some character from The Simpsons and i was eating alot of candies.

First of all this was a dream about my current work, and it was about collaboration with an external organization which we really are collaborating with. This was a REM dream with fairly vivid visuals and fairly lengthy. It mentioned reasons why we would continue to collaborate unless some other reasons occurred. I do don't right now remember these reasons. I did not notice anything in this dream which was not fairly realistic like in real life, except that I do not remember a strong awareness or strong presence and consciousness of myself - more like a movie.

I'm at some random place with HER, and she grabs me and we both fall to the floor. She's still holding me, like a bomb is about to explode, and I don't fight back. In fact, I enjoy the makeshift embrace and tell her "there's no way I'll fight this". At the moment there's an argument going on between two people, and I really don't think much of it.


We're on the ground, and I'm looking at things develop. One guy is yelling at another guy, and I have that "I wish I knew what was going on, because I would step in and knock someone out".....and just like that....the other guy shot him. He's yelling at everyone...pointing the gun all over the place, and I think I"m about to get shot. I closed my eyes, and got right with GOD. When I opened them, everyone was scattering around like roaches. He held the gun to his head and shot him self. Blood was everywhere. At that moment I didn't feel like the bad ass I was trying to be. I saw his soul outside of him for a second and vanish.....


recall gets sloppy but I do remember sitting someplace with a dead body by my legs.....


Later on, I'm on a bus. Someone behind me is jabbing me in the ass with the end of a pencil. It happened two times, and i grabbed the pencil and broke it in two. On the third time, I turned around after breaking the pencil in his face and said "do you want me to kill you and myself like the last guy did"....and the girl he was with sat next to me.


She mounted me. She was wearing a spider web pattern shirt that had hole in it. Underneath I could see her tits, and my zipper was down. I'm pretty sure she knew I was erect, and I knew I could see her nipples. She did something in some sort of way that made her have a black top underneath the spiderweb. I was really waiting for her to flip out after seeing all of me...but maybe she just didn't care or notice.

In this dream, I was staying at a hotel with my family because we had to move. There was a water park nearby and my daughter had gone to it. I was in the room and realized my birds were there, loose and without their cages. I had to go back to our house to get the cages for them. I kept going in and out of the room and each time I went back I would start up the wrong way and a obese teenager boy was sitting on stairs blocking one way so I kept apologizing and going back the right way. I got the keys and went to leave. I went to the water park to find my daughter but then the dream changed somehow. It was winter time and I was walking through very deep snow over a lake. There were large icy tubes that people were going down kind of like luges. My brother was there with another person, I guess it was my daughter and they were going around these luges. I went to leave and got trapped because I found myself on a lake that was melting. I was afraid to walk across the ice, I didn't want to fall in.
The dream changed again and I was at a friends house, I didn't know this person, she was like an internet friend or something. I was staying with her in her home/motel. I was admiring her kitchen and how much counter space she had. She was going to take me to see her horses so we started walking on this trail back through the snow and next thing I know I was on a bridge and then the whole thing began moving. It was attached to a boat and we were going across a lake. It was sunset and very beautiful. I had my camera and was taking pictures. All of a sudden a plane came in like it was going to land nearby and then disappeared from view. Then a few seconds later another plane came, it was a jumbo jet. The kind with the large hump on the front of the plane. It was white with zigzag red stripes on it. No letters or numbers. It came in and then arced back up and around and came around and flipped over. I yelled that the plane was crashing. It came in and I could see it was plowing up snow before it crashed. There was a huge fireball but no I took my camera out and was trying to make a video and I couldn't get it on the right setting. The person that was driving the boat called 911 and reported the crash, the person that answered said they knew about it. We told them we saw it happen so I was trying to tell them exactly what happened and then found I couldn't talk. I was able to talk by speaking one word at a time. It was then I woke up. The dream really shook me up by how real it was.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was watching dino crisis 2 let's play.

Dream 2(fragment):

I was browsing dreamviews, there was some thread about how false awakenings affect dream recall and also i was apparently posting that 'I just had a lucid dream'(?).

Friday, 4/12/13

I woke up at 6:30 am and went back for a nap at 8am.

I was going to WILD, but for some reason, I didn't get any indication of it.

Turned to my left side and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was sure I had a DILD, but didn't get uo, went back to sleep. Next time I woke up, I wasn't so sure about DILD anymore. Until I started to write down snippets. I was trying to recall, if I got any surprise or happiness when I realized I'm lucid, but I didn't remember any. Until now. Now I clearly remember telling someone "ok, I'll count my fingers, but it's pointless, I'm not dreaming". Then I counted 6-7 fingers on my left hand. I was completely surprised. I counted again and again, in awe, showing someone how many fingers I have. So DILD is confirmed.

Snippets for DILD and non-lucids mixed in my memory:

- I walked into my parents house. My dad had my mom's haircut and he was blond. With thin wire glasses. (just now I realized, he resembled the russian spy from The Americans show in his blond wig). My room looked the same way I had it when I was a child. I discovered, that my closet is haunted.

- My brother with his wife and child are visiting. I want to know when they leave, so I can go out and come back before they leave.

- I'm flying in controlled flight. Happy.

- I'm taking a cab home. 2 other passengers. We go by my house and I want to get out, but cabbie says it has to be in order we got in. So we go to two other places first. I decide not to give him a tip.

- I walk into a room and it's an interrogation room. A guy is behind a desk. (I was watching the show Revolution before bed)

- I'm escaping through the roof, but each time I break through a layer, there is another, different one behind it.

- I'm diving into a lake, wanting to swim in tropical sea. Water is dark and dirty, like a polluted river. I'm trying to make it brighter and it's getting brighter and I'm starting to see gravel on the bottom.

I suspect there was more, but don't remember it.

so, yesterday i decided to use a bracelet that i always wear as a kind of RC. i wrote some numbers on it figuring they wouldn't show up right in the dream. unfortunately it didn't quite work out - i think my mind has turned that particular number combination into a picture, therefore defeating the number test. i did, however, manage to bring the bracelet into two separate dreams (at least - all i could remember) and actually had a 'wait a moment' and did a RC with my bracelet (even if i did fail). plan on still using the bracelet, but imagining something else on it/reminder to do *other* RCs. also trying to be more aware in daily life. ADA. used to meditate a lot, so not that unfamiliar with the process, just out of practice. also, found myself naturally waking up ~4-4.5 hours after going to sleep - around 12/1230am. wasn't sure if that would be the case considering my wacky sleep pattern (i'm trying to force it to normalize yet again).

My partner was out for the night and I fell asleep on the sofa.
I'd done something wrong, although I don't recall what, I was on a boat of some sorts, maybe even a submarine, all of the doors where the rounded type and the walls and floors were metal studded in design. As I walked up a flight of stairs, I noticed a room in front of me with the door open, inside I could see a girl getting ready, she was naked though she made no attempt to cover herself and was completely at ease with her nakedness. As she began talking to me, a guy I hadn't noticed lying on the bed made himself known and it was apparent that he did take offence at her nakedness, what with me being there and all, an argument ensued. At some point during the argument, Martin Ribey, Bri Newby and a group of younger lads from around town came along and took hold of me, apparently I was to be punished for what I'd done - even though I still didn't know what - and they proceeded to hold me down. They put me in a seated position on the floor with one of them holding my arms behind my back from behind. Martin had gone off to gain more evidence and proof of what I'd done and we sat there and waited. By the time he returned, the rest of the group were getting impatient and wanted to give me a kicking. One of the younger lads was getting in my face and preparing to hit me, I was still being restrained and so I said "You're not even going to let me fight like a man then.?" There were like 6 - 8 of them in total, so I guess they figured I had no chance and decided to let me fight. As I was released and stood up, I grabbed the angry lads hair and started to kick him in the face, I had steelies on and so it wasn't pretty, seeing this Martin made a move towards me and so I kicked him in the balls, he doubled over, as he did so I grabbed his hair also and then started to smash both of their faces of each others. Seeing this feat of amazing self defence, the rest of the group turned their tails and beat a swift retreat. I let go of the younger lad as I knew Martin was the one I needed to worry about. We continued to fight until I had him on the floor and was sat on his chest. At this point, he turned into a praying mantis - I know right - and so I started to punch him in one of his eyes until it exploded at which point my partner returned home and woke me.

We had a cup of tea and a fag, then went to bed around 4.30, she got in at around 3am and so I figured an attempt at WBTB wouldn't be a bad idea apart from the fact I'd interacted with her quite a bit, although I was still tired and sleepy, anyhoo, I dreamt about Diesel and Dutchess, I was out walking with them and we went to the shops. For some reason there were a lot of people there from a circus and all had different animals with them, there was a guy with tigers, I saw a rhino and an elephant, the types you'd expect to see, Dutchess was in her element and all of a sudden she ran off barking after a stoat. It jumped into the water and Dutchess wont go in deep water, at this point I noticed a man swimming with dolphins and I knew that if I slapped the water or knocked on the bank, they might come over to me, so I started to slap the water, it felt awkward and so I began knocking on the bank instead, as I'd thought, one of the dolphins came over, the weirdest thing is, it was like I was blind and I couldn't see the dolphin, no matter how I tried, I could feel the texture of it's skin and even felt it's tongue, but try as I might, I couldn't see it. I tied the dogs up with a kindly old man who said he's be happy to watch them for me and I went into the shops. I woke up proper at 8am.

I was at some sort of music festival, behind the stage, OUTSIDE of the festival grounds. There was a full crowd in front of the stage, but I couldn't get in due to a chain link fence with a barbed-wire top. My Chemical Romance were on the stage, and started their set with Famous Last Words. I was rocking out behind the stage, as I could faintly see them. One guy in the crowd noticed I was glancing around for a way in, and he called me over. He handed me a ticket through the fence. I started making my way around the fence toward the front to the entrance, rocking out to MCR the whole way there.

...That is all I remember.

lovely, lovely dreams tonight. nothing particularly unpleasant has been going on in waking life as of late, but these dreams showed up anyhow. slept from about 9 to about 6.

i have spoilered the more graphic parts of the molestation dream for those of you who might be disturbed by it.

in the first dream i am driving around my city at twilight. i remember the exact area where i was -- near the intersection of R-----d & R----n.

Spoiler for click to read:

suddenly i feel invisible hands touching me. it is as if i am sitting on someone's lap but there is nobody there. i am greatly disconcerted. suddenly i am in the passenger seat and a teenaged asian boy is driving, while still touching me occasionally. he pulls into my school's parking lot (it is night now). there are 3 other boys waiting for us as well as an old man. i am nervous. the asian boy introduces me to the old man and tells me that he was the one who was touching me. a girl adds that he is 63 years old and a banker, and gives me his full name. she urges me to tell the police.

later i am in a room with blue walls. there are my little pony posters and merchandise everywhere. i am talking to a woman in her 30s about my experience. i want to tell her the man's name, but i cannot remember it. i get frustrated at this and also about the fact that i am discussing my sexual abuse in a my little pony fanclub.

in the second dream i am in an unfamiliar house. i am sitting on the couch and i am shocked to discover that my ex is sitting right beside me. for a moment i consider that this could be a dream, but the vivid and detailed imagery convinces me otherwise. i get extremely angry. i start yelling at him, asking "how did you get here?" "why are you here?" i don't get a straight answer. i begin punching and slapping him. he barely fights back.
i go do something else for a while and i come back to find my ex sitting on a bed crying. i thought he had left and now i get even angrier. i scream at him and throw heavy objects at him. i tell him that i'm going to bed, and if he isn't gone by the time i wake up "something bad will happen".
i go into my bedroom for a while and then come back. my ex is still there, playing a SNES game on a blue tv. again, i physically attack him and threaten that bad things will happen. i'm furious. the tv says "error, zero zero, error" and then i wake up.

I vaguely remember a total of five different dreams. One involved going to the dentist, but I don't remember anything more about that.
Another takes place in a mansion. I'm not quite sure what, but we are investigating something (again, not sure who 'we' is). Perhaps the murder of a middle-aged/old woman, with short dark grey hair, who seems to feature in this dream. There is also a place we go to think about information we've gained while in the mansion or surrounding grounds; it is a grey, mottled place with no horizons, set with a number of portal-like occurrences, which are either pale salmony pink or light blue (could be either. Don't remember which). When we enter any of the portals, we are taken back to the mansion.
A third dream takes place in a jungle or forest, with a rushing pale blue river. There are groups of people, none of whom I know, and I am put in a group with them. We all receive 'skills' which appear as pale dotted markings on black spheres/circles. Now we have to cross the river/work our way up it (don't remember which - something to do with the river) but to do so, we have to choose new groups. Nobody wants me in their group. This may be because my allotted skill is useless, or because I don't particularly want to join in. I end up in a team because someone whose 'skill' appeared as a pink scorpion engraved on a black sphere grudgingly allowed me in.
In the morning, after I wake up, the only dream I remember at first is the investigation dream (I guess that was the dream I had woken up from), but I rapidly forget parts of it, such as what we were investigating. I spend a moment trying to remember parts of it, with a limited degree of success, and decide I need to write it down quickly. However, I don't, and without realising it, fall asleep again, in which I dream that I have written down my dream. Sadly, by the time I wake up again, I forget even more of the dream, although I can now remember the rough theme of the dentist dream. Now I really need to write it down, but fall asleep again (did I ever wake up from the first dream which I write down my dreams in? Perhaps it was a false awakening). Again, I dream I have written down my dreams and begin to sketch the woman from the mansion one. I wake up for the third time, pick up my notebook, do a reality check and write down my dreams. Half way through, I remember the jungle dream. Later, when my mother is making me a coffee, I remember another dream. I remember the details of this one;
My friend D has brought in cakes and sweets to sell at charities week in the auditorium. I don't buy anything until later, when there are two plastic bags full left. D's stall is set up near the front of the hall, about level with the speaking podium, and comprises of one blue table which is longer than those in real life. I check the bags and see in the one on the right side a box of cakes and ask to buy them. 'You can't buy the whole box' says D. I say that I want to, or something like that, and later, we walk from the auditorium of my current school to the year six classroom of my primary school. Here, we sit on a desk in the room which we weren't in in year six and I ask D how much she wants for the box of cakes. She says £3.75, and I'm not sure I want to pay that much. I have my handbag and have been holding about four pounds ninety in change in my hand for a while now. D leaves. I open the box (which is light blue) of cakes and look at them (I still remember the layout), eventually deciding I don't want them all after all. Instead, I decide to buy a pain au chocolat and put dibs on the éclair when D comes back. Dream ends before she does.

Dream recall from today's naps.

Nap #1(fragment):

I was in the field, brown ground, i was the leader of the warrior squad, there was semi-ruined building that we decided to use for camping, but soon, we were attacked by enemy warriors. We were battling them at our best, but they kept coming. I saw an enemy leader while overlooking the terrain, i sent some of my warriors to deal with him, but they failed. I had to deal with this by myself, but before i went there one of warriors was saying that i should not go for enemy leader. I ignored him and soon was about to attack enemy leader, but it was a trap, leader somehow paralyzed me and then dream ended.

Nap #2(fragment):

I was in some futuristic city and there was facility i was visiting. There was some blue humanoid, that i was calling 'Curdy', and he was operating machine that was making curd. He told me recipe and there was some kind of secret ingredient, then i went to home. There was cutscene happening back at the facility, Curdy went missing and there was dude that was mostly bald and he was in cyan suit. Then cutscene ended and i was back at home, i was trying to eat potato but was very hard to eat, then dream ended.

Nap #3:

I woke up in my bed and i had to move some stuff around room< then i realized that i forgot to take off headphones, i took them off and binaural beats are still playing, so i am dreaming, dream is somewhat unstable so i rub hands on my way to balcony door. Then i slam the door open and fly outside, i feel the wings and i fly around pretty quickly. Shortly the dreamscape changes and goes weird, like two perspectives are overlapping, some parts of it are normal and some parts moving around with my field of view. After i fly over some street it goes back to normal and i decide to attempt transformation into a dragon again. There's not much of result though, my hands only got a bit bigger. I fly through some kind of temple ruins and suddenly my room appears right in front and before i can do anything i crash into the wall in the room. Dad comes into the room(i think my awareness decreased after this transportation...) and we talk about bunch of things that i barely recall, i recall something was about transformation. Then dream fades out and i woke up.

I lived in this fabulous haunted house. Ant was there - should have been a clue that I was dreaming. He was mad at me but was setting up my drum kit. We were going to a concert, but was going to be very late. We were hungry and went to a drive through - I ordered Birthday Cake number 2. Loved the house with secret rooms.

4/11/13

Just woke up from an unplanned nap.

In my DR I woke up from FA and I was telling someone, "you see, I just woke up from FA" and proceeded to tell him about lucid dreaming. Got bunch of stuff done and then I woke up for real.

Don't get that many FAs, so this one was fun. I believe, it was triggered by my WILD PM conversation with Allegory. Yup, talking about it makes it happen for me.

I was sitting on the couch and I feel this pain in my mouth, and it's also an excruciatingly annoying feeling. I begin to grind my teeth, it's seems to relieve only a little bit of the discomfort. Then I hear this cracking or flaking noise from my mouth and I know one of my molars just detached, I panic and put my hand in my mouth to get the tooth, I tongue the spot where it came from, it feels so empty and I can feel my soft gums, I freak because I think now my retainers wont work or fit, then I think for sure that I haven't gone through puberty yet so it was just a baby tooth and hopefully another one will grow before my jaw starts to deform back to TMJ. I look at the tooth and it's all covered in decayed holes with cavities. Then my mouth starts to hurt again, so I grind my teeth to relieve the agony again, and then I hear that dreaded noise and the give of a loose tooth on the front bottom of my mouth, all those horrible thoughts about my retainers not fitting come rushing back. I pull the little front tooth out and it's clean, no cavities or decay, I think I need a spacer, or to put something in there before my jaw deforms, but then I convince myself again that maybe I haven't gone through puberty yet and it was just a baby tooth and I'll just grow another before my jaw deforms. Then a third time I feel that agony now on the right bottom molar, I grind my teeth to relieve some pain, but then I hear the noise and feel it give. I panic and reach in my mouth to pull it out, i tongue the area again, I hated that soft gum feeling, this time my mom is there for some reason, I tell her three of my teeth fell out, she just gives me a weird look, so then I began to cry and weep like I did when I was a child and I tell her but maybe I didn't lose all my babie teeth yet, and new ones will grow back, then my mom just laughs at me. I look at the tooth and see that it's covered in decay and cavities and holes.