non-lucid

Dreamed that I was preparing to go to some kind of cookout/horse race. I got out the pans for the cookout and they had not been cleaned since their last use when fish was cooked. They were dripping grease and were pretty gross. I was going to ride a motorcycle to the cookout but I had to do some maintenance on it like change the oil. My father was watching and he tried to step in when I spilled some oil but I told him I could do it myself. There was also a part where I was shopping for horse supplies. It seemed like I was planning to ride a horse in the race. Once I got to the race, I was not riding in it. Lots of people were having accidents and falling off their horses because someone had laid the track out in a circle instead of the usual oblong shape.

Also, had a dream where I was getting ready to go to a costume party. I was planning to dress up as Frankenfurter from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was trying to do a google search on my phone to find a picture of him but I kept mistyping his name. This “trouble using technology” has been a running theme in my dreams and I would like to transform it into a lucidity trigger if possible. I was also having a very hard time deciding what to wear. I had the white face paint on and I kept trying on different shirts, being careful not to mess up the face paint. There were other people around doing their own thing. At one point I asked someone for help removing a shirt. The whole dream had a vibe of frustration.

Standardized test
I'm with my parents, sitting at a table in a huge room, waiting to take the 9th grade end-of-year standardized test (even though I'm an adult). Earlier, I saw some of my other friends (including PS), though I don't see them now. I need the test results for something I'm applying for, though I think it's pretty silly. I'm fairly confident in my abilities - after all, I'm a college graduate, so 9th grade stuff should be easy - but what if there's something taught in 9th grade that I've forgotten because it's completely useless? As I'm waiting to be called back to the test, waiters come around to the tables. Some of them are carrying plates and silverware while others are carrying the food, some kind of shrimp/something/something combo. It actually looks pretty tasty, and I look forward to trying it.

I happen to turn around and am surprised to see that the entire room is empty except for us and the table in the corner next to us (the only table I can actually see without turning around). People start filing back in, and I realize I missed the call to use the bathroom before the test starts. I realize my bladder is already uncomfortably full, but it's too late now. I reason that, unlike these kids, I'm an adult, so I can deal with it!

I'm still in the large room, and I'm now looking at a form covering basic information. It asks me some questions about my environment, talks about requirements for getting things initialed, then says I need to initial my neighbor's form and get my own form initialed by my neighbor. I add an asterisk near the top of my page, then trade initials with a girl sitting next to me.

Now I'm in another room sitting at a long table and starting the real test. The first questions have to do with my "disobedience" in not going with the rest of the large group to the bathrooms. I try to defend myself by saying that I didn't see or hear anyone saying to go. One lady takes a hard line, but another defends me. Now I'm onto another section of the test. Each question has a whole list of possible answers, and I have to check any or all of them which I believe are correct. The first question asks about "Christians killed." The possible answers are all pretty bizarre; some are names, some are numbers. I ask a proctor for clarification but don't get anything useful. I end up choosing ones that sound right (I remember checking 170,000 among others). Now I'm onto some simple math questions, which I breeze through. I laugh at the question about calculating the CIT of an angle (dream-me thought that CIT was just another trig operation ...). After finishing all of the questions, I take a quick look over them, to make sure everything looks right, then turn it in.

Now I'm walking with a male proctor. We enter the aviation museum / base, walk past the gift shop, and go through a guarded door. The guard lets me pass without question since I'm with the proctor. Now I'm sitting down looking at the test results (my parents are there too). Each page of the test flashes up quickly on a screen, and it's hard to see what's right, what's wrong, and what my score is. As best as I can tell, I get the first two pages (basic questions and Christian deaths) wrong, but everything else is correct. At one point, a lady stops the presentation to go into detail about a page asking about a stone with a fish on top of it. Once it's all over, it displays my final score of 100%, which I find odd since I got at least two questions wrong. Oh well.


Space game
I'm playing a game (looks like Astroneer) in which I'm controlling a guy in a space suit running around on a barren planet. The gravity is very low, and he's able to jump a long way. Eventually, I come across a HUGE building. Getting closer, I can see that it's in extreme disrepair. It almost looks "shattered," and I expect that the slightest touch will probably bring the whole thing crashing down. Looking through some windows, I see what I believe is a glowing portal. I can probably use it to travel to another planet - if I can get to it without collapsing the whole place. Even if I can use it, it would probably destroy the building in the process, so it would be a one-way trip. Now three other people are near me, and we're talking about the game. I love games like this which have a shared, procedurally generated, semi-private persistent world. As we're talking about the almost-destroyed building, one of the players mentions that equipping a pair of <things> on my backpack and harvesting the terrain will occasionally fling me to a nearby planet. I don't like relying on randomness, but it seems to be my best option, so I decide to give it a shot.

Now I'm looking at a map of the solar system. The planet I'm on is colored white while unexplored planets are gray. White arrows point from my planet to others which are currently reachable. I start jumping around, going from planet to planet. I can't control where I go - I follow one of the arrows at random - but I hope that I'll be able to explore the whole system before too long, or to find a more reliable method of transport. I happen across a function which simulates where a space ship would take me - I can move around a straight line, and it highlights all the planets it's above - and I realize that there must be a way to build a spaceship (otherwise why would this function exist?).


Hoarder cleanup
I'm working outside my house. There are piles of old, broken stuff everywhere - it seems the previous owner was a hoarder. I've got other people working with me, and so far we've managed to pile things up well enough to make paths between the piles. We're working near a tall fence with a closed gate, and the lighting is poor.


Travel schedule
I'm trying to make a travel schedule for going to England. I think the trip will probably be nine days, since we'll probably be gone for two weekends plus the days in-between (it seems a shame to "waste" "free" vacation days over the weekend). As I think more about it, I realize that's probably not realistic; instead, we'll probably be flying out on a Saturday morning and returning the following Saturday evening so we have all day Sunday to recover before having to go back to work on Monday.


Controller configuration
I'm watching a couple of people flying characters over a kind of park area (trees overhead, walkways and fountains). One of them is using my Steam Controller, and he's complaining that I did a poor job setting it up for this game, since some of the controls aren't mapped. He ends up opening a gate by the expedient of sending his character ramming into it. Next to him, another guy is playing with a traditional controller. Supposedly he's doing better, but he's pushing buttons and moving hand positions faster than I can follow. The clicking of his controller buttons sounds like machine gun fire.


Dangerous swim
I'm moving through a place with many fairly narrow (20-30 feet) strips of water, then land, then water, then land. I've just started swimming through some water, and somehow I know there's a shark down below me. I hope that he stays deep and doesn't come up near the surface. As I look down, I see a red "x-ray" outline of a fisherman. At first, I think he must be in the next body of water, but I quickly realize the angle is wrong for that; he must be down under me somewhere. Now I'm on land, well past where I was before, and I approach a huge hole in the ground. I realize the fisherman is down there somewhere and start to look for a safe way down.


Fragments:
A mountain road

Mixed-up clothing

21 Jan

At an unknown outdoors location, after something has gone slightly wrong. I am sitting on a bench/couch, when this weird DC joins me. I tk a door closed to demonstrate my powers. The DC talks extensively, mentions a number of sci-fi books that merit reading. A lot of things in these books are true, he says. He's a representative of an ancient alien humanoid looking race that used to inhabit the solar system a long time ago.

As he speaks, we find ourselves flying in space among planets. He explains that in the past all planets were inhabited by his people. I feel amazed at this statement. We now fly by the moon and I see it covered with cities and buildings under construction. He pauses for a moment, thinking that I am not interested or don't understand. Please, go ahead with the story, I want to learn more, I say.

He then tells me, they also used to control time. They could see the future, and then would try to change it by making it come true. I am confused, but he emphasizes this point, when they want to avoid an outcome they actually make it happen. I see a visualization of planets and civilizations as he speaks, but I still don't understand.

23/1/17
Dream 1: There were two kids playing magic the gathering with no idea of the rules or anything, just chucking down cards.

Dream 2: I was having lunch outside with my family, my dad and grandparents have gotten tickets to see Bruce Springsteen I think, they are excited. Also talk about some bit of football memorabilia they bought.

Dream 3: I was going around some tennis courts, it was sopping wet with rain, and collecting people's used tennis balls.. I also threw some things off a cliff

Dream 4: I was watching an old football game between a university team and a Chinese team, talking with my brother about how old that was and how things have changed.

Fragment: Something about not being a vampire.

D1: I keep having lucid dreams about my husband but we are both young & don't look like us. It's really odd. I've had 4 this week like this. They are just of us spending time together. I think it may be because we are really enjoying changing things in our house. We are almost done hanging these Led Starry String lights w/ remote. It makes our living room & dining room have this nice warm calming feeling. And we now have a cheaper way to fix couple of other things. It's so liberating after raising our 4 kids!

D2: Chained right on into this dream by walking through a door. I was w/ my ex-girlfriend in a setting that looked something like the Domestic Violence Shelter where had met. It used to be an old school & very nice. Kind of like a dorm w/ a gourmet looking kitchen w/ sitting rooms and such. I've mentioned her a few times on here & the fact that we were best friends before our relationship. We had a falling out so we don't talk anymore but I think of her now & then because she has cancer. This dream was particularly odd. She looked younger & really thin. She acted like I knew she would. I seem to always become lucid where she is concerned & this was no exception. I just spent time talking to her even though she wasn't being sincere & being manipulative as usual. I just wanted to stay there a while regardless to see what I could learn. I think I've learned that I have made peace w/ this situation but it's sad nonetheless.

D3: I was still lucid & chained right into a different setting by using the technique of looking at a single inanimate object. I was looking at a bed first & then a door. I walked right into a woman's house. Her grown man child was talking to her like a dog. I was very calm as I was in the last 2 dreams. I was very focused on the very white walls of an apartment. It was very very nice. I could have done some cool stuff but I'm working on the details & control so I just comforted her & helped her stand up her son & his friends. My control over my emotions was very new in dreams. It's the one place you can do things you probably won't do in real life or on rare occasions. But calm or more accurate peaceful, in dreams is strangely hard for me. I took the time to do this as I walked in & out the door. I woke up feeling like I did a meditation. It was very serene.

I was carrying a black and yellow tent with a bulletproof window. This allowed me to closely approach a guy with a gun on the huge, inflatable yacht. I climbed up a small area with difficulty. (it was inflated plastic) I was constantly getting shot at.

I was in a seemingly ordinary room, white-walled and minimally furnished, when something unusual caught my eye. Near the leg of a chair was a tiny little human, no more than two inches high. Closer inspection revealed that it was Donald Trump!

Trying to figure out what was going on, I remembered hearing that this room had been designed as a sort of art installation by the punk rock impresario Malcolm MacLaren. All the furniture was subtly oversized in order to make one feel smaller, maybe even bring back memories of navigating the grown-up world as a child. But what I was seeing now was a much greater shift of scale than I would have expected. Just how big is this furniture, if it makes a grown man look only two inches tall? I knew that Malcolm MacLaren had been rich, but it would have cost a fortune to build an installation to a scale like that!

Then I realized that my scale was perfectly ordinary in relation to the furniture, which could mean only one of two things. If the furniture were vastly oversized, then I too must be an enormous giant, so that if I left this room I would be blundering through the city like godzilla... but that seemed unlikely. I was pretty sure that I remembered being in ordinary scale to the world outside this room. The other possibility was that Donald Trump is actually only two inches tall. That made a lot more sense, given the extent of his overcompensatory bluster. I wondered if it might help if other people came to perceive this.

...

I am working at an old funeral home in New Braunfels, Texas -- my old place of employment IRL. I am back on call with the other funeral directors and embalmers, rotating the nightly death calls. I am in the prep room (the place where all the embalming and cosmetic restoration goes on) talking with my co-workers and they are glad to have me back. I too am glad to be back. I am looking forward to embalming again (embalming was very relaxing and even therapeutic for me IRL). One thing keeps nagging at me: my embalming and funeral director licenses are all expired. I never renewed them after I left the industry three years ago. I now regret letting them expire.

I leave the funeral home on a motorcycle. This motorcycle has manifested before in other dreams (I do not drive a motorcycle IRL). I drive out to the country to be by the water. I roll up to a gothic-style iron fence. The fence has sharp spears on the rails and it surrounds a heavily-wooded estate. The mansion of the estate is located deep within the woods somewhere. A man suddenly appears at the fence. He is a brown-skinned Latino guy who reminds me of Paco Hewlette, a Puerto Rican kid who once lived next door to me. He is the neighbor of whoever lives behind the iron gate. He invites me over to his place. I park the motorbike beside the iron gate and walk over to his house, which is right on the water. He has a dirty swimming pool in the back of his house next to the lake. He invites me into the pool. As I sit across from him in his dirty pool, I see that the water in the pool is actually crystal-clear; it only looks dirty because there are strange dark objects floating in it. I am not able to define what these "things" are, but they do not defile the water. We are safe, and the water is clean. I am very relaxed. We are drinking good beer from glass bottles and smoking Cuban cigars.

I hear a noise and look over to see a city parade going down the road where I had parked my motorbike. There are all kinds of exotic animals in this parade: horses, llamas, goats, bears, elephants. The animals are dressed up in brilliant gold costumes and march down the road in obedient precision. I realize this is Paco's parade (or whatever the name of this dream character in the pool with me is). The house, the land, the gate, the animals all belong to Paco's father. There are people gathering along the sides of the road with cameras, and spectators are stopping their cars to get a glimpse of the parade. Suddenly, people are everywhere. This parade, it turns out, is a big event and it happens at this time every year. It's a famous parade, a staple of the community. Looking at all the exotic animals march down the road, I turn to my friend in the pool and say, "I guess this what you can do when you have more money than you know what to do with." Fade recall.

Other isolated fragments from the night include:

(1) I am with a friend walking around in the "underground district" of some unknown city. We are trying to get into a mysterious club after hours. The outer walls are made of stone, and the archway entrance resembles a Mediterranean garden (2) I am driving around the same city with a short-haired pug dog on my lap. I love the dog. He feels good and warm on my lap and he really enjoys me petting him. (3) I am in an apartment on a military base somewhere. Suddenly, from out in the distance, I hear a loud "Oorah!" as someone guns an engine and a car peels away. Marines are here on the post, apparently, and there is a party going on somewhere. Dreamt 1/09/2017

I am at a train-station.
There is snow so appears to be like wintertime, but in a weird way I know I am in a warm country where winter with snow never happen. It is a dry and warm country in reality, the winter is meaningful in some way. There is someone with me, constantly behind my back and following. Its a friend.
The country is a foreign place for me, a country far away, and we are both taking pictures with our cameras.
I have noticed that mine has a very long lens on it, and I can zoom in very far. Its an interesting function, it takes some time for me to adjust and focus the camera. But at some point I succeed.
I walk around in the train station and take photo after photo. Some are meaningless and not beautiful or interesting in any way. But every now and then I am surprised by how well a photo has turned out.
I walk to another platform, where a train has arrived. People walk out of the train and there is a lot of hustling and bustling, people everywhere. Again I take a lot of photo's.
The now empty train is soon going to a new place, so new people are going towards it to step inside and make their journey.
People come form all corners and they even walk on the train track. It appears to be a country where a lot of people with dark hair live. I am not sure which country.
I take a picture of how they walk towards and enter the train.
When I look at the screen of the camera, I am utterly amazed by the beauty of the picture. Some people, people that are on the move, appear like a blur. Others are clear and colorful. I cannot explain what it looked like, it seemed a very balanced out picture.
A flow of beautiful people leaving, on a journey. For some reason it has a significance that I do not fully grasp.

Starting a dream journal again. Yesterday I remembered nothing. Today small fragments.

1) Riding a motorbike, started up an incline, it was very muddyand the motorbike wouldn't get any grip, the engine was n't working, so I had to come down.

2) On a ward, looking for notes in the trolley.

3) Sitting in a hospital bed. I started to pull the curtain around but it wouldn't go all the way

Morning of January 23, 2017. Monday.



I become aware of activities I must do for a movie being made that is about a wealthy German family (in Germany and on Germany’s side when the war starts) during World War II (about as far from my real-life associations as possible). I am a boy actor, probably around ten years of age.

One part of the set is reminiscent of the Loomis Street house, another somewhat suggestive of the southwest Cubitis bedroom. Still another part (in the last segment) seems somewhat like the kitchen of our present home. I have no coherent familiarity with my real-life status other than during the last part of the waking events.

There is a scene where I have to walk from one area in the house, go outside, and then go back into the house into a different room and look in a mirror (though the mirror curiously seems to be on an outside wall of the house that faces the backyard). I am aware that I only have a white shirt on. This does not bother me at all because I assume that all the scenes presently being filmed are from the waist up. I am satisfied with my appearance at this point.

At another point, I absentmindedly enter the room that is somewhat like the southwest Cubitis bedroom. An unknown female is there and sitting on the side of a bed, apparently on a cigarette break. On the left side of her face are parallel indentations, almost like the map of where a few stream beds converge (my actual thought within my dream in this scene). She wants to be alone at this time.

There is a scene where a fictional relative is going into the military at the start of the war. I am standing outside (seemingly at the south side of the Loomis Street house) between at least two adults (and clearly aware of my smaller, shorter body and status as a child actor), an unfamiliar female on my right and at least one unfamiliar male on my left. The camera is on us (filming from east of us). I feel “perfect” as I turn my head slowly to the right, to briefly acknowledge a crow in the sky behind me (which is flying north), making sure part of my left profile is filmed (for at least a second or two) and that the angle of my face at each point is “perfect”. I focus with clear intent to keep my stoic expression “perfect”.

Eventually, my dream starts to lose cohesion and I am slowly more aware of at least some of my real-life history. Still, I am writing a letter to inform my sister Marilyn (deceased) that I am going to be in a Hollywood movie, indicating some of the details.

In the last segment, I look in a mirror again. My face is becoming more and more unusual, almost like the classic Frankenstein monster. I have patches of green skin on the left side of my face. It is very wrinkled in that one area, though the wrinkles are in long straight vertical lines. There are what appear to be stone-like features peaking out from parts of my forehead and cheeks. The “stones” are of various colors and textures but are likely meant to be some sort of oversized acne.

Eventually, I realize my left eye is bulging and I touch it to see that it is like a small plastic dome that is slightly cracked more to the left. (Oddly, I can still see clearly from it within my dream even though it is almost sealed shut.) This is because a crack in my left cheek had reached its perimeter.

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Losing teeth dreams have nothing on this level of dream-self cessation (which otherwise usually have no “interpretation”).

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Morning of January 23, 2017. Monday.



I am wandering around near an area near the shopping mall. There are a number of people who are involved in some sort of publicity relating to Godzilla and a particular store (or perhaps the entire mall). I walk through the hall of the shopping mall at one point and I am annoyed by seeing three people approaching me who are all in unusual oversized Godzilla costumes (though a few other people are in human-sized Godzilla costumes), though not really looking like any typical movie version of Godzilla. They are about twice as tall as me so I assume that they are wearing stilts and have features within their costumes for more control of the larger arms and such. They do not really regard me directly though I know they are there to annoy people with some sort of promotional gimmick.

One Godzilla costume is meant to convey the idea of rocky skin (somewhat like the Thing from “Fantastic Four”). Another is a purplish color with polka dots. One has mixed elements of lion and clown, with a sort of mane that seems akin to a wide clown outfit collar. I have an uncomfortable feeling that it will be difficult to shop anywhere in the region with all these annoying promoters.

There is one scene where I see someone (unknown) watching a Godzilla movie on a narrow wall between two hallways, but the man playing Godzilla is somehow directly talking to the viewer. I get the impression he can even stick his head out of the implied screen unless some sort of holographic technology is involved. (In this case, the Godzilla head is about the size of a human head, unlike the large costumes.) I wonder if the viewer is going to allow himself to be attacked or “eaten” for entertainment purposes.

I later find myself in a beautiful area near a marsh, eventually within a forest with dense shrubbery. I begin to relax and explore. However, one of the people who are wearing Godzilla costumes comes to where I am, though does not find me. He looks near a large shrub but cannot see me. This time, the costume seems about three times bigger than me but the size does not bother me (and does not even seem a factor).

Finally, I focus on the nature of gravity. Water seems to run uphill. This is very puzzling. Josh Holloway (the actor from “Lost”) is present. Some small rivulets of water that flow upwards on the wall form a tree-like pattern. I see something very unusual and point to it. At first, I think it might be more water moving upwards along a wall but it turns out to be the glow of the plastic wrap over a new toy cap gun still on the card and somehow stuck on the wall.

Josh is also apparently annoyed by all the people in weird Godzilla costumes. Several more (unknown) people appear and we explore a large public bathroom (which may be abandoned). I look at the sink and notice water flowing upwards in the side of the basin. Later, we manage to evade a person in a Godzilla costume as he only looks around in the first section of the bathroom.

---

I remember a couple fragments of music themed dreams.

First I was standing with a group of people playing guitars. I was playing some kind of digital guitar stick. We were all playing together. My guitar stick could sound like an acoustic guitar or an electric guitar.

Later, I was talking with the female lead singer of an amateur rock band. They played an outside gig in a city and virtually no one attended. I tried to give her encouragement and suggestions. I also helped her and her band load equipment into their vehicle.

Later, I believe I was riding in that same vehicle, a van. There was a commode sitting in the middle and I used it because I had to poop. But then I was embarrassed because I stunk up the van and I apologized.

22/1/17
Dream 1: Someone was asking me about lucid dreams I had had, i told them a story of one where I was essentially playing minecraft, I built a spaceship and flew up to the moon and fought some aliens there. (Doh!)

Dream 2: I was an orphan in Mexico and found myself with a group of children who went around on the street singing traditional songs for money

Dream 3: I was playing a video game sneaking around some enemies to steal some powerful artifact

Fragment: Something about Count Olaf