non-lucid

Morning of January 15, 2016. Friday.



This dream was really odd in what I first thought was random distortion, though I soon began to grasp at least three layers of meaning in a fairly short time, one layer (the most likely, I think) which I will share here.

I am making love to Zsuzsanna in an unknown and unfamiliar setting - what seems to be a fancy hotel room. The made bed (closer to the cater-cornered door than where we are) has its headboard against the wall. I am directly on the right side of it on my back on the carpeted floor, facing the opposite direction of the headboard (with my feet closest to the table and lamp near the wall). Zsuzsanna is on top, first facing one direction than facing the other (in two different events - the sense of touch and localized awareness of heat being very elevated).

I am becoming more and more aware (though not lucid) and soon notice several miniature wolves (slightly smaller than a cat) running around in midair (at about shoulder height), one directly above the pillow. These wolves are not threatening in any way, just mildly distracting. I start to wonder how many there are or if they will become less chaotic (for example, to form a straight line somewhere).

---

My reasoning was almost stumped until my interpretation ability flowed naturally. What do people supposedly do when they want to sleep? Count sheep, of course…miniature imaginary sheep that hop over the would-be sleeper and his pillow and are sometimes imagined as floating in the air. This is inverted on possibly two levels. Instead of counting sheep, I am already in the dream state, so the “opposite” form appears - wolves. They are also not lined up to count, implying the dream continuing without waking (though they still may imply the waking mechanism since dreams often implement opposite “what if” ideas). There may also be an association with sheep as related to the popular non-word “sheeple” to describe unaware people. Wolves imply freedom and intelligence over the unaware conformist. However, something being in mid-air, I happen to know (by being directly told in the dream state) that it may sometimes mean “not getting enough support”, which may relate to my perception of much of humanity as not being very aware - or even interested in their own mind and dream states.

Dream 1 - Just thinking
It was less of a dream than just an internal debate and though process revolving around star wars and Anakin Skywalker. I was very intently just thinking about it and had some visuals but I noticed I was doing when I realized my alarm was vibrating next to me.

Dream 2 - Grudge
I really didn't want to write this down but I ended up doing it anyways >_<
I'm in my room watching a movie on a small TV with a DVD player (I don't have this in my room in RL). The movie is 'The Grudge' and it's pretty much in first person with me as the victim of the grudge. To make things worse the movie set resembles my room.. On one side of the room there's a hole in the wall, and the opposing wall on the other side of the room has a hole in it too. Things get pretty freaky as the main character goes insane and is imagining himself trying to stab another version of himself, but it's all happening in his head. I see what he's imagining first (it goes to 3rd person perspective now), I think there's another version of him and he's trying to kill him with a knife. The camera pans right then back left to the guy but now we see what's actually happening in reality. All we see is the hole and there's a hand coming out of it wielding a knife, flailing around wildly. The camera continues to pan left to the other side of the room where we see the man with his arm in the wall, he's consumed by raged. The movie ends and I 'wake' up, as if I had fallen asleep after watching the movie, had a dream about it and then woken up. I'm on the floor and I'm pretty scared, I had a blanket on me and it's pulled over my head, I don't want to take it off incase the grudge is there... I know that the grudge doesn't exist but I'm still scared. I think I'm trying to go to sleep but decide to get up instead. I head over to the TV and eject the DVD, it has 'How to Train Your Dragon' on the other side of the disk, yikes. I feel sorry for the kid who watches the Grudge by accident .

I had 2 other dreams which I thought I committed to memory but I can't remember them clearly enough to write about them

Not much time to write anything right now so I'm gunna skip out on the details.
I was at my friend's house for a party, and saw someone from school that I REALLLY don't like. I started to get into a fight with him because he said that he thought his family was a "landmark" which was weird.
I was in my bathroom, wearing only a shirt. My sister walked in the house saying that our cousins came over, and I told them not to come in the bathroom because I wasn't wearing anything. We then ate dinner, and I asked why my aunt and uncle weren't there. My dad said that they went to church, and I got mad at him for talking about church and stuff too much.
Ok guys, I'm REALLY sorry about the short entry, I don't have enough time.

Bed @ 2330 after a long day at the museum and on the road
Woke @ 0400 by dog. Back to sleep around 0500.
Woke @ 0600, immediately back to sleep. Woke @ 0715.

Foreign food
I'm with a guy I know in a foreign restaurant. They don't speak any English, and we don't speak whatever language they speak (something African, maybe), but the guy I'm with knows the words to order what he's been told is a really good dish, so he orders for us.

Now I'm with some people walking through a city. They want to try out this dish too, since it was good. Ahead, the part of the city where the restaurant is comes into view. In fact, it's hard to miss the transition, going from normal buildings to what looks to be half-finished chaos (boards and girders sticking out of buildings at all angles). Now we're loading up inside a huge elevator. I'd been worried there wouldn't be room for our group, but there's plenty. Unfortunately, we got a bit strung out, so we're waiting for the guys in the rear to catch up. Bob keeps having to hit the door open button, and I feel bad for people on other floors who need the elevator. I notice a large monitor above the control panel but have no idea what it's for. Eventually, the elevator starts beeping at us and won't respond to the door open button any more. Our pastor's son and another guy still haven't made it; they'll just have to take the next elevator. Now we're going up, and I realize that this elevator has no inner door and we can see the building whooshing by, and that if anyone stuck had through the opening he'd probably lose it.

Now we're walking through some kind of fancy restaurant. I'm self-conscious in my shirt and jeans, and some of the diners are giving us nasty looks, but the place is mostly empty so it's not too bad, and it doesn't really matter since we're just walking through on our way to our destination.

Now Alex is riding on some electric vehicle around a large empty room adjacent to the large restaurant room.


Fragment: I'm at a gas station pumping gas into my car. I notice that, in contrast to the station I was at earlier in the day, this one doesn't have the big "It is illegal to walk away from the pump while it's running" sign.

dreamt I was lucid, my current technique seems to be getting somewhere

I will list them for now and then i'll complete the journal entry.

First i dreamt about being in the cosmos, it was white, and we were changing the course of a galaxy. The galaxy was turning towards left to the center, and we wanted to turn right, expanding it, but actually it didn't expand, it remained in place and thing evolved. It was what was needed, while if remained as it was spinning it would eventually be destruction. So the plan was to throw a heavy cargo outside the galaxy, in the opposite sense it was spinning, to change the spin. While the object, probably a "packed" star or something heavy, was thrown away there could be seen ficticious squares that indicated where the gravity was making a place for the object. That squares were spiral.
The thing was that we throwed a first cargo, the new changing government, and the old government threw a cargo to put things as they were. It was irreversible, the galaxy would eventually collapse into the center. It was spinning too fast to change its course now.
I backed away to the limits of the room and there comes a Nicaraguan communist (which actually was Nigerian). He was about to take me prisioner when suddenly some troops come in and capture him. They were probably going to execute him, but for the night we were all sleeping at the other end of the room, before the balcony. There was a TV and the place looked like Cordoba Augusto's Department. I was by the side of the TV, but i put a chair in front of me because i wanted to watch TV, no matter how tired i was (even though i never watch TV). There was the communist guy and some other guy by my left, and by my right there was a furniture and Fran e on the floor. He told me, no problem, but just try to be a bit away from the furniture so i can remove a sweater tomorrow. I said ok, and pushed the furniture or a chair back, so he could open the drawer even easier.

- Seeds: a guy, a very fat guy, finished germitating two main kind of weed seeds. One was ancient and the other modern. He had like 20 Kg of seeds if not more. He was at his bathroom and he took a acrilic tray and pressed on both sides, like one would do with ice trays, and suddenly the seeds came out in all directions. They all fell on the bathtub.
- Police/Friends: i took some seeds and went outside the rooms (the house looked like Lamadrid 1300). I found a lady inspecting some files. We were on a party so as i soon as i saw her i recognized her as a cop, so i said "Hey" she replied and i immediately went to the bathroom. I had the seeds in my hand, so i put some on my pockets and the other part when i came in the bathroom i throwed away in the toilet. Soon after that i evacuated it and went out. She was with another guy by now, or girl. I was expecting her to ask me something about what she looked suspicious about me, but she didn't. After all i think she wasn't a cop. Then i went outside to the main room again. If before it was white now it was dark and black.
- Marriage/Ending Presentation
- Couldn't find my sister/She was diagnosed lung cancer during that time
- Ending scene: three pictures: a blonde, a violet and a purple/blackish.

The last dream was about adding pictures to a marriage endind scene, like photoshop. The pictures would just merge with the one of the background, so it had to be added only. I searched for pictures and saw some about the beginning of the week (the beginning of the trip as well, the room where we where with the Nigerian). There was a friend called Feli topless and bottomless in front of her brother. Both of them were playing like kidding each other, actually the brother was kidding her. I was looking for many pictures, and those were just a set more out of the hundreds i could have looked upon, but the more i looked, the more atracted i was to what was going on.

After that i woke up

Dream fragment (0.5 points):

in some kind of multi-level building/simulation, every level has numbers, the lowest is either 715 or 815, there is a bed there and a DC

Feeling tired as hell today and only just managed to start writing this up.. >_<

Dream 1 - Skiing
I remember being on a tall snowy mountain, me and another person had been airlifted to the stop and skied down it. It was pretty cool, I remember about halfway down there was a sort of plateau where we slowed down. I think we talked a bit and then continued, then backtracked and went a different way. I can't remember why we backtracked or what we talked about.

Dream 2 - The Orb Apocalypse
I remember there being an apocalypse of some sort (not zombies for once! ) and me and a bunch of other people headed south. We arrived at a special city which had a huge tower that shielded it. In this city there was an award giving ceremony for our people. There were 2 rooms where these awards were given out inside a large stone building (it was a bit smashed up from the apocalypse though). In the room I was in I was pretty bored, I wanted to leave and when there was a short break in the ceremony I decided to leave, despite knowing that I was going to be getting an award in the second half. I exited the main doors and saw across the hall the other award ceremony room. I think I saw someone familiar getting an award but decided to continue outside. It was such a nice bright sunny day in this slightly run down post-apocalyptic abandoned city . I looked up at the shield tower protecting the city, hmmm... It's.. Not on? Or is it? I notice 2 of the elder mages/warriors talking to each other (one teleported to the other to start the talk) and they were talking about how the tower wasn't working. Oh shit, it's collapsing! It happens too fast, it falls onto the two elders who were talking. As the tower hits the ground it creates a rupture in the souls of the two, converting them into orbs of electric energy that are 'absorbed' by an explosion that progresses out from the tower. There's a swarm of orbs that streams across the sky at the now vulnerable city, they coil into a snake-like shape (and I think I even see the orbs turn into snakes) as they attack the denizens in the city. This city is lost, I have to escape now.

Some time later on I'm in a large grass field, I forgot the more important part of this... But I remember the ending . It seems that I'm with a group of people and we just defeated some evil thing (maybe the orbs) and the apocalypse is over. We talk amongst ourselves and share a laugh. We call over a few horses and a lion to ride, I think I ride the lion? We then ride off into the sunset in a pretty cliche movie way.

This dream had a similar world to the dream I had during my nap yesterday, in which I was able to stay in the dream even when I was awake and rolling around in my bed - and when I fell back asleep I'd still be in the same dream world. I've been pretty interested in creating a permanent dream world so the experience is pretty interesting to have it recur the way it did.

Oops. I had a lucid dream last night, I woke up around three in the morning and was wise enough to write some key elements down.

And then I forgot about it.

So:

I was at the same weird place I was in my last dream. Everything was dark and there were some weird dolls and I felt like I was travelling in time. There were some crazy weird spaceships there too.

I was walking around all the weirdness when it got SO weird I just automatically noticed that I was dreaming.

I could feel I was about to wake up, so I rubbed my hands together. I don't remember ever trying that, but I remembered that people always talk about it. It worked a bit, but not much.

Still, it worked well enough to keep me in the dream, so I laughed cause I was happy. Then, I spun around a little, cause I could also remember people talking about it. And anyway, I was happy.

Then, my younger cousin was there and talking nonstop, so I got annoyed. I decided to leave her talking to herself, jumped up and flew away. It was fuuunnn!

I ended up flying towards this really dark "tunnel" (it was in the sky somehow). I couldn't remember the TOTM, so I figured I could do the last one: blow up the world. It's my face TOTM so far. I could see the planet at the end of the tunnel, almost as if I were in space. I concentrated on exploding everything, which happened... which killed me.

I woke up. Except I was still dreaming. Stupid FA. In the dream, I wanted to log my lucid dream.

So when I DID wake up, I wrote it all down and here we are!

I am at Walmart with my brother and sister. My mom gave me $1.25 to spend on buying things for my fish. I found a lady I recognize who works at Petco, but she is talking with another person. I state loudly that the stuff she has is too expensive, and I walk away. I can't find the real fish/pet section, though, and I tell my brother that. He shows me a map and tells me that I can import llamas from South America or Africa instead. I laugh, telling him it is illegal.
I am at Walmart, (completely different dream) in the pet section, and I see a cute guinea pig named Willow there, in a tiny cage. The sign by the cage says she has been there for 4-7 years. I remember feeling really bad, and thinking my parents wouldn't let me get anymore pets. I tell a little girl nearby that she should keep the guinea pig.
I am in the basement of a house, piece of broken wall surrounding me. I see a sort of secret door in the wall, and I remember thinking it is some sort of puzzle/mystery. I go upstairs, and my dad asks me what my favorite part of our new bathroom is. I run into the bathroom, and tell him that it is the floor. The floor is sparkly tile with bead-like things on the corners. When you walk in, I think there were two sinks, one on either side. The toilet is on the far left side, along with one of those kiddie toilet seats. I remember going to the bathroom, and trapping a doll or baby or something underneath the kiddie toilet seat. (If only I had realized how different it is from the real one!) Sometime later, I am out of the bathroom, and I am watching a video of migrants walking in a line, one Mexican, and the others are white. I start walking with a black girl down the white line. We are friends, and we are yelling for one of our other friends to join us. But, we can't find her. I tell the black girl to stay with me, and we walk into the building. I see the friend, who I recognize from school, and run into her arms and jump. She twirls me around and lifts me up. I end up doing a flip in the air, and landing somehow gracefully on my back.
Ok, I know I have a lot of dreams about my bettas, but hears another one. I am watching one of my bettas, and I notice that he is sitting above the water. Scared, I quickly push his head down, and then the rest of his body. For some reason he is in a little bag, and when I first saw him, he was in a little container. (I realized it was strange in my dream.) My mom comes along, and I tell her that we need to get a bigger tank for Bob(the betta).
I don't know why, but the dream about the bathroom seemed to stand out the most to me. I feel like it's really important.

take a seat people, this one is a long one.

I boards a train on a contry station. The day is hazy and hot, the tall grass dried out and whispering in the hot wind. The train I'm in go off the rails, but I find myself tranding up in the ruins of the accident, seemingly inscathed, chairs and pieces of glimmering machinery all around me in a clearing. I still need to go, and I find mylsef in another train, this one going over a brige high on a montain side. This one go off the rails too, and I'm falling down, all the way to the ground. I hear the thump of my body, and something snaps.
I scramble back on my ass, then I stand up. Somehow I know that i'm not living anymore, that I'm a ghost, haunting my own body. It doesn't seem broken or even hurt. Two other girls are picking themselves from the ground. I know they are like me, dead but walking. We meet up on the side of the wreackage and decide that we have nothing better to do but walk.
We walk for a long time, following the train tracks, until we reach the outskirts of a city. One of my companion seem to know her way around, and she brings us to a big villa with a party going on. We walk in from the garden to a back door. A Yound, blond haired girl opens the door, beckoning us in. There's a lot of people, kids barely in their teens huddled together, sixteen years old longing around, and twenty something drinking and laughing. THe blonde girl introduces us to her older borther, one of a twenty-something; he's a fiery red-head, with a handsome, somehow cat-like face. He seems very interested in me, but he gives off such a creeper vibe that I decide to purposely fuck with him by flirting with girls. I whisper to one of the girls from the train:
"I bet I can kiss three girls before the end of the day."
"But how about the guy?" she askes.
"Exactly."
We giggle after that.
The day after, the party is fnished and the house weirdly empty. It's a beautiful place, with white walls and tilted floors, the furniture mostly made of light wood, with dark blue and white fabric. I slowy understand that the party was an haunting, and the previous owners of the place are dead, and I'm squatting. There's a lot of food in the kitchen, breads and cheeses and all sort of vegetables in the frige. There's also a cot in here, with a cream wool blanket on the thin mattress.
I spend some days here, and one day I overslept and wake up in the darkness. I flip the switch to open the electrical blinds and look the time on my phone; it's almost 3 p.m. but I need to plung it to see clearly the screen, the battery was almost flat.
I wander in the garden in my pajama, a fade pink shirt going down to my thighs, feeling feverish. On a cornor of the garden, overlooking the street below is a giant tree, gnarled and old. It looks like a japanese pin tree, with big aerial roots. It's covered in dark green moss, with lighter sprouts on the side touched by the sun, doted with small flowers in orange, pink and light yellow.
As I'm walking toward it, two girls I recognize from the school I'm attending see me from the street and ask me where I am been. I make up a lie that I was sick with the flu, my dew soaked pajama clinging to me like I'm sweatslick. They sympathize, and ask to use my bathroom. I pretend that it's dirty to make them leave, bu the older one insist and I guide them inside. I pretend to clean up the bathroom before letting the younger one in, going in the kitchen with the other. I start to nervously tidy up the food, putting most of it in the frige and throwing moldy things away. The girl looks at me intendingly and asks me : "Do you sit on the bed, or through the bed?" I look quickly to the still locked bathroom door, and nervously tell her that we should speak about it later. She agrees and the younger girl get out, and they leave. The older girl tells me her friend needs help, and she will come back later.
I start to bolt all the doors but another school college walks to it with a friend of her and tries to force her way in; I lock the door on her and talk to her through a window cut in the wood of the door. She aggressifly asks me about a Sarcomis thyphus and I rattle off the definition of it; it's a bacteria that induce sarcoma. He friend snorts and starts to say that it's actually a part of the immun system. I scream at her that it's in the fucking name that it induces sarcoma and it's a bacteria and slam the window covering in their faces, bolting it. I back up a little corridor and lock another door, this one painted light blue.

Competition Night 3 highlights

I'm getting myself chicken breasts during a sermon of some new prophet. I yell out a disagreement or a challenge and he comes to confront me. We start arguing and I ask him, "why don't you just ask god to give you $600-1,000 dollars or a new t.v." (it had something to do with what we were arguing about). "It doesn't work that way." He responded. I replied, "I didn't think so. Is your line even plugged in?" I tugged on a white cord that was for some reason a very important part of the prophesies. I looked and it was mostly out of the socket. He looks speechless and defeated. I said, "Look, I'm sorry we don't see eye to eye on religion.." I can't remember how I finished that sentence. Then I hear "Stand down visual reinforcements" and a bunch of security people came out of hiding and used pepper spray to take down other bottles of pepper spray, since I was no longer a threat. I went outside into a yard with a big tree in the center and I heard a male voiceover saying that it's a shame how unprotected America is from people like me. Then I see a short, overweight, young, ethnic disciple in his Sunday best blow out his knee.

I celebrate new year´s eve with friends and family in Amsterdam. It´s close to midnight and we are in a hotel room right below the roof. I grab a big rocket to throw it out of the window as the new year beginns. Unfortunately, the fuse doesn´t work right and the rocket explodes right next to the roof. Purple firework lands on the carpet and burns a little. My friend claims this would mean bad luck.

We want to leave the hotel. But first, we empty the fridge and take the food with us. As we leave, i see 2 hookers kneeling next to the guys who rented the hotel room. I try to convince them to leave with us. But they don´t want to.

Now, we are at the stairway. I see an Asian leaving his room. I know he had an argument with 2 of his friends about a girl.

I want to check out at the reception. But there is a problem. They refuse to give me my passport. After an argument with the concierge they give it back, but they printed a Yu-Gi-Oh card on my passport. I want to complain as the dream fades away.

Had a great non lucid last night. I was a marine park, not my favorite place to see the orca since I am anti captivity but at least I got to see them. It was a long dream too. I spent a lon time just looking at them casually swim by. Various orca were there from young to old. I just sat by the waters edge an watched, perfectly content to just stay there for hours and watch.

I was in college and the professor looked younger and his face was swollen because he had surgery on his jaw. He kept saying he will see us at the next class but it was the last day of class.

There was a big white lizard in my apartment. I thought it was dead until I saw it eating a mouse.