side notes

Fragment

Something to do with my hair changing. My hair (that is normally a brown color was now black and blonde. The black and blonde hairs mixed in sort of a spiral pattern and my hair was fairly long.

Waking side notes:

I'm on vacation right now, and the internet out here is REALLY slow. I'm not sure how this vacation is going to affect my recall. But I want to try to have a couple lucids between now and then, maybe i can finally build my dream base.

I saw a friend I know and saw his teeth. They looked gross. All yellow and some were gone...
Then I had a strong desire to be with my girlfriend.
I felt good sensations on my back like maybe I was growing wings.
Then I heard a loud rumble of noise.
That was it. I woke up and my body was still asleep. It took a little while before I could move and record my dream.

I don't remover much.

I know this dream was about dreaming, it involved discussions with dream characters who appeared official in some way. The subject of these discussions may have been (not sure) the importance of dreaming (no surprise since I yesterday participated in DV thread on our theories about dreams).

I remember that this dream was lengthy. I also remember having a strong sense that this was a repeated dream, that I have had this one before. I think this sense may have been present during the dream, but I was not aware it was a dream I think more of a sense of "this has happened before" (déjà vu). I think this dream was kind of vague blurry non-vivid even when it was happening.

#1 My mind is flying around some big bridge-pillar-looking construction, arguing with another person through my thoughts. Weird images flash before my eyes, images that don't really make sense when brought outside my head into words, but I somehow relate to the subject both in the dream and when I think back on the dream. The argument was about whether or not the other person's slave employees should be treated well. I told him to treat them well and give them good and varying food every day, for then they would be motivated to work harder. While talking about the food, my mind shifted around in what I can only explain as some kind of red chain-linked carousel. It showed me the slaves eating and enjoying their varying meals for each step in the carousel. It really makes no logical sense and so it is logically unexplainable.

#2 Along with a few of my classmates, I was walking through a narrow little street with all different kinds of shows on our left. Sock-puppet shows, pie-making, a small fenced bin with touchable animals, although they looked a bit odd. In the bin, there was four animals. I do not remember them except for one. A very long eared rabbit, but it looked more like a girl formed like a rabbit. It looked really weird and I can't explain it. In the background behind the rooftops you could see the big construction from the first dream.

#3 I was sitting in a pizzeria along with a few of my classmates. I felt like we just came from the place we had been in my second dream. We were handed a menu card, which was written onto a raw dough circle smeared with flour. The items on the list were complete gibberish, and I assumed they were named to some sort of common understanding. I had no idea what to pick, and as my classmates picked their food and the waitress joked a bit with my indecisiveness, the time pressure only confused me even more. I ended up picking something that sounded like a pizza. "Capriatto."

I had a fourth dream which was centered around food as well, but I can't remember if it was before, between or after the other dreams. Moral of the story: Don't go to bed hungry.

During day: 6xRCs

Total Sleep time: 6+ hrs.

Other info: Went to bed quite late, fell asleep even later.

Dream recall method: DS review

After waking up couldn't remember almost anything, so I went over my DS, checking for a gut/ memory reaction. Got a confirmation with 2 DS. Today I have only fragments

Fragment1: My dad was riding a bike, which later transformed into a skateboard. He was performing some unbelievable stunts.

Drawing a line under water in the same place where other tracks were.

Fragment2: I am in something like student housing, got my own room there. Some guys which I know in the dream leave the room and I lock the door. One of them had to return he forgot something, it is agent Cho from the Mentalist but he looks even prettier. He asks me where the knife is, it is laying on the desk nearby. Some bad guys smoke cigarettes outside, one of them resembles Ross from Friends.

Fragment3: I am having a way too honest conversation with grandma, where I complain a lot and feel like a complete loser. My aunt is lying on a bed, next to grandma, using my blanket, and a pillow I identify as mine. She plays, or just uses as another pillow a toy rabbit which my grandma says is very important to her, so grandma wants it back.

Fragment4: An unpleasant person from my past. I notice her in the midst of a crowd. She is wearing Sari type of clothes, orange color predominantly. She expects to win some kind of award and when that does not happen I see her face convulse with anger.

I dreamed that I was talking to my boss Bill (I have more that one man I consider my boss at my work - this one likes to say "Remember, it's all bullshit."

What were we talking about in my dream? I remembered that clearly a moment ago, but then I moved to write it down. Was it dream interpretation? Was it the interpretation of the situation at my work? Anyway, I remember a sense of agreement. Which is as it is I waking life: Bill and I I think are on the same page mostly at least about assessment of situation there I think.

I'm sitting in a bus, looking at my cellphone, which in this dream is an old flippidy-floppedy silver model. The windows are pitch black and the bus is only lit up by the long orange-yellow lamps. The cellphone shows a message I had written to Cecilie a day ago in the dream, which asks her if she would like to go out with me this weekend. I'm about to write something to discard or excuse my message, when someone on the seat on the opposite side of the bus to my left says:
"I would love to go out with you this weekend," and there sits Cecilie in all her blonde glory, almost like she was illuminated by some holy light. Her voice made me feel relieved and ecstatic. She was beautiful, but she looked.. older.
"Where would you like to take me?" she asks and moves onto the seat next to me. The more I looked at her face, the less attractive she was. For each time I looked at her face, it looked more worn and old, yet in very subtle steps. Imagine a meth addict whose skin gradually turns ugly. She ended up looking like a different person, and I'm not sure, but I think her blonde hair got a few shades closer to light brown.
"I'm not sure. Any suggestions?" I reply.
"We'll find out," she ensures. We spend the rest of the dream browsing images on my cellphone.

Side note: I did once ask this if she was doing anything in the following weekend. She was busy but I backed down when she couldn't understand I wanted to ask her out. Looking back at how she had treated me even before I tried to ask her out (and even worse after), although I didn't realize it at the time, I think it was a good idea not to pull through.

No dream recall today. Not a great recall of the week so far, 2 days without any recalls.

Today was almost like yesterday except that I didn't go film anything.

In very short this is what I did:
1. Woke up and sat behind computer
2. Ate breakfast (waffles I'd left)
3. Walked to gym to workout (cardio today, 40 min total on bike).
4. Internship from 9am to 4pm
5. Went home (walked)

Today me and my gf discussed about going to my grandpa (dads dad), as my dad will go there and I asked him if we can go for some week ago. But as I got this internship I thought I wouldn't be able. But tomorrow is last day at internship, then it's easter holiday and we will be back first at tuesday next week.
So, my gf asked lots of stuffs today as she really want to know and be sure about when we're going there etc, where we gonna sleep and all. She have never been there at my grandpas place.

We will probably be driving some snowmobile there etc. What kind of worries me is that my gf doesn't have any great clothes for cold weather with lots of snow (well, wont be that very cold, but anyway) and I know my dad very good. And he didn't look super happy when he asked me if we are going to be outside anything there.
So, I hope my gf wont be freezing too much or get her cold worse.

We also have no internet there, so I probably wont be able to write here until next week someday.


Tomorrows plan is to go gym at morning, biceps, forearms, chin/pull ups and shoulders, possible something else too if I forgotten.
The new scheldue wasn't that great really.. as I failed squats etc, and well, I think I will just create my own scheldue later when I got time next week. I will just go with the feeling and try prior the muscles I need for the test, which shall be legs, back and shoulders mostly.


Well, I will see how everything goes. Each day I think about the test that's 25th April.
I can't believe it's only 26th March today, days feels slow now sudden. And I guess it will be even slower after 25th April, because then I need wait for an answer, if I get in or not.

Well, I will head off to bed soon maybe.

During day: 5xRCs including DS review

Dream recall technique: none used, remembered 2 dreams

Total sleep time: 7+hrs

After being too lazy or tired in the last few days, I decided it's time to try to WILD again. Set the alarm clock to wake me 5hrs after going to bed, woke up, stayed awake for a few mins (I avoid waking myself too much because I really cannot fall asleep afterwards), then went back to bed, repeating a mantra. I fell asleep.

Dream1: I am in someplace which is my dream home and I am going to bed trying to WILD, blankets all around me, mobile phones, watches showing the time. Then I wake up in the dream, I am in the car with my dad who is driving me somewhere. How strange I think, I really can't remember what I did or where I have been before that. I look at a watch and it's five hours later than when I went to bed in the dream. “It’s like I have lost five hours of my life”, I am thinking to myself.

My parents are cooking dinner in an unknown building in our old neighbourhood. I want to WILD and initially lay my blankets on the roof of a building, trying to relax there. Somehow I am teleported where my parents are and they make a lot of noise so I can't fall asleep. We watch a large part of something, the size of window, fly off and crash on our neighbors’ roof. It is my fault [of course!] because I have forgotten to close the windows so the wind blew that part away. I remember in the dream that I have closed the windows and start telling this to my dad. We go to my parents’ bedroom where the neighbors are also visible and have a look at the windows.

The wind is so strong that I am afraid that everything will start flying off in different directions. I close the windows, but as soon as I do they open again. The frame looks pretty broken. My dad says he will put something on the windows so the windows can't be used again. This saddens me because I won't be able to look at the sunset anymore, so I tell him. I look in the direction of the sunset and a see a larger than usual sun, more yellowish less bright with some details visible. I remember not to stare at it too long because it's bad for the eyes.

A few blocks away I see a huge tornado just starting to form. Oh, no! It's far but it is coming, so I tell my parents we should go somewhere else. Then I start wasting time, trying to grab my blanket, looking around for other stuff. The tornado is getting closer really fast. It has a scary destructive force, I see it passing over and through a row of houses, there are sound and sight of implosions and the houses are completely destroyed. There is very little chance to make it if we stay in the building. Better try to run outside. So I do.

I find myself in another building, facing a boy. I consider this to be a bit strange but go on my way as I see the scary gray mist swirling around. There is an expensive section in this building something like a cafe for special people. Next to it is the exit. I am running from the windows where the tornado is towards the cafe /exit. I rush through the cafe shouting “Get out, now!” to the woman who works there. There are three very strange looking kids that have been left there by their ultra rich parents. I try to take them with me but they don't react, just stare there with blank faces, so I leave them at the table. One of the employees of the cafe tells me that all is safe outside, so I urge her to look around the corner to confirm. She doesn't want to do that. I do it myself. No swirling or tornado coming yet, so I walk a bit, but as I cross the street I see it is getting nearby, a fast moving mist rather than a tornado, so I launch myself forward, jump some fences and continue running...[end]

I woke up after this, since I had no WILD success again I just decided to sleep some more. I forgot any other dreams. It was time to wake up but I pressed the alarm for one more snooze. 9 mins to go. (By the way I thought I could change the snooze settings but can't figure how to do so). I am not attempting to LD, I really don't care at this point.

Dream2 Snooze DILD: I am in a car parked near my parents' current place, my alarm clocks are all around me again. My teacher is trying to reach me on the phone in the dream. I know that I will soon wake up so I don't bother picking up. I am staring at the sky. Is it a spaceship? A strange object is flying around, it looks like a flying truck, how can that be? My awareness is trying to awake. I follow the flight of this truck until it lands in the yard nearby. At that point I know that I am dreaming! An older DC man is in the truck, he reminds me of some unknown famous actor, also looks angry and menacing. He comes to me looking somewhat aggressive. I am really tired of all the chasing around, so I just intend him to be a nice guy, and to my amazement he decides to take it easy. The car where I am begins sliding down the road, but the yard end/road entrance is too narrow for it to pass. I somehow try to size the car down, it becomes very long and thin and I am amazed at this transformation. I stop the car and go to my room in my parents place.

No idea why I decided to go there. Now, in front of me is a gray cloud forming, starting to look scary. I remember the tornado fear, so this is unpleasant. I am still lucid although getting distracted by the cloud, when I remember not to give in. I try to make the cloud go away. In this case, I am stronger so it cannot do anything and just vanishes.

I somehow start unintentionally creating clouds. Those look like real clouds from far away, different hues and shades on the cloud, partly lit by the sun, etc. I also hear the sound of distant thunder coming from the mini vivid cloud in front of me, I really like that. I am having a moment of great enjoyment creating these clouds making them appear from my hands as if they were a ball of cloud, there is also some dark blue light sparkling. I do this quite a few times until I get exhausted and cannot do it anymore. I am still lucid, but am beginning to lose concentration, so I decide to get out of there and go to the street.

I am on the street. A rather unpleasant looking DC decides he will accompany me to wherever I am going. The only task from my list that I remember to do is to summon a certain DC and ask him a pre-determined question. I start calling out for the DC to appear, nothing. I try again, no result. I ask the ugly DC next to me where is the DC I am trying to summon. Of course, he doesn't know. I don't like that, but I nevertheless decide to ask him the question I had in mind. He answers something nonsensical. I try to have a conversation with him, but I find it hard to hear or understand what he says. We probably exchanged no more than a few sentence and I notice in the dream that I start forgetting what he said. [Very strange, I guess there is place for only one two questions at a time]

I wonder how I am still here on the street for what feels like so long and the dream is still here, I am happy about that. I notice two tall guys with black scarves around their heads walking towards us. I notice how out of order this looks and smile to myself, how easy it is to spot inconsistencies while I am lucid now. I try to stop them maybe talk to them, but they insist on continuing on their way, strong momentum so making them stop is really hard. Still no alarm clock interfering, I expect it to ring any moment. I get distracted thinking and then find myself in darkness, feeling my body. My eyes are still closed and I try to DEILD but no success.

I look at my alarm clock, two minutes to the alarm? I jump out of bed trying to hold on to the dream memory, which today feels very evasive as the dreams begin to erase themselves.

Final remarks: Dream control today was really good, tried out the tips to make the chaser a nice guy, which worked in this LD. I also think that reading posts and this tutorial on dream control http://www.dreamviews.com/wiki/Dream-Control-Tutorial helped!

Practices: ADA, Mindfulness, WBTB, DEILD
While falling asleep, mantra: "I am aware"

Dream #1 - I am with my friend, R__. She's driving a car - one belonging to one of my relatives, according to my dream-memory, but in real life none of them own a gray minivan. We're driving around a mall parking lot. We can't seem to find a parking space. She accidentally hits another car while pulling into a parking space, and I cringe at the sound, but she's more angry about it than worried. She decides to try to use a note left on her windshield to explain why she parked in one of the restricted parking spots, by claiming she can't walk that far, but I don't think that will hold up under scrutiny. She finally gives up and parks pretty far away from the mall entrance. We can see it from where we are, but it's quite a walk.

I briefly wake up from the dream and try to carry my awareness with me into my next dream, using my mantra.

As soon as the dream reforms, I am instantly lucid. I'm inside of the mall from the previous dream, but R__ is gone now. The lucid dream has the crystal clarity characteristic of my lucid. Since I'm not outdoors (unusual), rather than the usual sweeping landscapes and storm-swept skies, instead the architecture inside of the mall is extremely grand. Super high vaulted ceilings, probably 80-100 feet high, with graceful arches carved out of solid pale pink marble and golden inlays. Intricate carvings and sculptures. White marble floors. The whole thing looks more like the inside of a cathedral than a mall.

I look around and think, "This is definitely a dream". I inspect my hand - it's perfectly formed. I do a reality check by trying to push one hand through the other, but I can't. I shrug it off - I know I'm dreaming. I try to fly, and hover in the air above the crowds milling around the mall. My lucidity tends to fade very quickly while I'm flying, though - there's something about not having my feet on the ground that does that. So I land, and then crawl on the floor and inspect the marble tiles. There's grime between them and they feel a little gritty - this place needs to be swept and mopped.

I decide to go treasure hunting. I reach into my back pocket - for some reason, I'm wearing a skirt with pockets - and feel around for a map. I feel crumpled paper and tug. I pull out a sheet of notebook paper, folded in half several times, and unfold it. There is a map on it, scribbled in blue pen, but I can't read what it says. It also has little pictures. I decide that I need to go find a dream character who CAN read it, and if I'm going to treasure hunt, I'm going to do it in style - which means having a whole group of treasure hunters with me. I run my hand along the wall as I walk.

I walk toward the food court - well, an archway I have decided is the food court. The floor slopes downward between it in a ramp, heading underground. I can see tables in the distance. I decide that's kind of boring and want it to be something more exciting. As I approach, it morphs into a Viking style beer hall. I'm pretty satisfied - this is definitely more fun.

I enter the beer hall, which is smokey and full of warriors eating and drinking. There is an empty space in the middle with a fire-pit that looks like it's used by entertainers - wrestlers, musicians, etc. The benches on either side are elevated on steps, sort of like bleachers, so everybody can see. Nobody is performing right now, though.

I see a group of 5 or 6 Tolkein-style Dwarves over to one side. They look like they're having a pretty good time. I approach them and introduce myself. Their leader is a pretty buff looking Dwarf. He has long, thick braided brown hair and is wearing a sort of heavy brown leather harness that has what looks like a lion's mane stitched around the neck and shoulders. He greets me respectfully:
"I am Lokmin, son of (I can't remember his dad's name)." He thumps his chest (which is more Roman, I guess, but whatever).
I hold out my treasure map. "I've found a map to potential treasure, but it might be dangerous."
The Dwarves deliberate over my wrinkled sheet of notebook paper, making sounds of interest and approval. Lokmin looks like he's about to make the decision to follow me...

But unfortunately, we never got to find the treasure. I live near an airport - one of the EXTREMELY LOUD jets that I LOATHE flies overhead, waking me up and ending my lucid dream. I was pretty upset. Even now there's another really loud jet flying overhead. I hate those things, and the airport by extension (it wasn't always noisy here - they moved the flight paths).

I go back to sleep, trying to re-enter the dream, but I'm too irritated to focus.


Dream #3 - I dream that I am taking naked photographs of myself using my laptop camera and didn't realize the curtain across the sliding glass door in the living room was sheer. I figure either nobody saw me, or they didn't care.

This fragment is very fragmented in part because I think it maybe from an earlier sleep cycle, anyway not from just before waking up:

...
Someone asks me: Why did you stop doing that?
Me: Because the emotions got too strong.
....

And that's it. It's kind of embarrassing that right after a long vivid dream yesterday, this is all I have today. Well actually not quite all, I also have the sense that I may have not quite been myself (distancing myself from the strong emotion and dealing with it?). Also out of some reason when I think of this dream I get the mental image of a very floppy hat, not on someone's head but just lying there (I wonder whether the hat is a metaphor for something in this dream?)

What could this dream be about? My stress level has certainly been through the roof lately, and even before that I have had terrible mood swings for months.

The question could be for why I stopped calling my father. I had mentioned that in a DV thread, and the answer is certainly appropriate for that question. Also the distancing myself from myself as a defense mechanism just in case would make sense.

I just now remember though that the question in the dream may have been job related. it could be: why did you stop loving your job? Why did you stop having faith that your boss will make it all ok? Certainly the answer would apply there as well. Our job has been too emotional lately, meetings which are ultimately motivated by fear/greed/unfulfilled ambitions/etc. And these meetings and their consequences have caused my stress to go through the roof.

Out of some weird reason I had the thought that "Why did you stop doing that?" Could be about introspection self-evaluation. This maes no sense, since I never stopped doing that. However, what if this is about my dream recall. What if my dream recall is not good nowadays and I stopped doing as regular dream journals, because I am self-distancing from the emotions that are too strong in my dreams? We know that dreams tend to have stronger emotions than waking life. I know that I have had some emotionally draining dreams. What if I am forgetting my dreams now as a defense mechanism to protect myself?

3/24/13 Sunday bed 2am-8:50am

Have to get back to my normal schedule. Bed around midnight and water regime. This is not fun. Will try moning nap tomorrow.

Today, woke up 6am or so by alarm. Had no recall. I had been sleeping for about 6-7 hours.
Made two hamburgers, ate in front of the computer.
Packed the gymbag, headed off to the gym. Worked out and tried to go after my new scheldue. Barbell squat I really hated because technique were total failure, I need to train without weights to get it right but I think I will just skip squats as I don't want to get injured before the test and I believe it wont be enough time to get right with the technique etc. I rather just spend that time on technique on deadlift that I think I've start to get better now.

Anyway after gym, walked to the internship that I started today. It was quite alright in the beginning. My times are 9am to 4pm, with 45 mins lunch and 2 times 15 minutes coffee pause.
The last two hours today were just super boring. The work itself must be so boring that I'll die. But, 22th April I hopefully will start work there and earn me about $1500 a month, for like 2 months. That will be some money atleast. And times will be 8am to 5pm, which is 2 hours more than this internship.

So, after the internship, my dad picked me up with his car and we drove home and made waffles. As it's the waffles day today (well atleast dad said so).

We made it, ate, made dishes and then I were on the computer some more time before dad drove me to the city to go on this place me and my friend were gonna film at. My friend however, lost the time (surprise suprise, I kind of knew something would happend that makes him not come, or come late. Because that's what often happends, he got bad luck?). Also he didn't have any car to get there once he were at home. If I had knew it just a 10-15 minutes before I went into city, I might could have told dad to drive to him and pick him up, then we would get some minutes late, but not too late for what we were about to film anyway.

So after that filming was done and all, I walked to the busstation, waited like 21 minutes on the bus, went on the bus all way home.
Once at home, I went straight to the computer with the memory card, put it into the computer, loaded over the huge video files, put them into Sony Vegas, started to edit it. Done editing and now it's rendering, the video is like 22 minutes long and it will take like 4 hours to render it, so I will just have on my computer during the night I guess, and in the morning I will send the video to that woman who wants it.

The video I wasn't very proud or happy about, not superduper quality. Wasn't very light where they talked etc. Not very big spotlights that casts enough lights all over. It would be much better quality if she had been staying outside in middle of the day, even if it would be cloudy and all, it would be loooots better light and therefor so much better quality.
Sound quality wasn't very great too but atleast you hear what she says and I reduced some noise too.


And that's it. Now I am about to go brush my teeths, maybe first have some milk or something. Then brush teeths, drink some water, take this Listerine total care thing, and drink more water, and take my contact lenses off, and before all that also dishes my protein shake that I haven't had time to do yet since like 16 hours ago when I worked out at the gym.

Had sooo much to do today, and tomorrow is muuuch to do again, except tomorrow I just have to wake up 6am (if not before that maybe), go to gym before 7am, and then go internship until 4pm, then maybe walk all way home, and home after 5pm, making dinner and eat, time will be like 6pm, and then I got like 4 hours to do something before I maybe shall go bed. Because tomorrow I should go earlier to bed, like 10pm maybe. So I get an 8 hour of sleep someday, and not 5-7 hours of sleep.

So, today I will go bed like 00:00 maybe, in 45 minutes. Better start moving now and do what I need to do before bed.

I dreamed that I was awake at night. Perhaps had gone to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water or something. When suddenly I realized there was an intruder in our house: a black man with a flashlight. Interestingly enough even though he did have a flashlight which was on, the lights in the room were also on, so I could clearly see everything (in fact I think that's why my dream mind decided to have the lights on).

(Side note: why was he black? Is my subconscious racist? Did he just happen to be black? Have I been conditioned by society to fear black men more, so that an intruder is more scary if black? I am white btw.)

He was on the younger side of middle aged, looked clean and clean shaven, and made the impression of being smart and surprisingly well off for someone who chose to burgle homes at night. He was wearing a clean sweater that looked good on him. He seemed fit, not athletic, but slim and healthy looking - like he took care of himself.

He was clearly here just looking for valuables: a burglar. He was very surprised to see me. He stopped and stared at me in shock, and said something like "What the heck? This has never happened before." He was clearly unprepared to face an awake inhabitant of the house. He did not seem aggressive, and just seemed to be thinking of what to say and do next.

Meanwhile I was terrified. I realized I expected that he would rape me. Next thing I know I am lying on my back on the floor with my knees up, even though I had been standing a moment ago, and the dream does not even bother to provide a transition. The burglar looks at me clearly confused and disturbed by my actions, as if he wanted to say "What are you doing woman?" He does not appear to have any intensions to rape me. he appears to be a cultured gentleman burglar.

This however does not diminish my fear. Next thing I know I wake up still horrified.

Side note: Why I had this dream: On DV some woman questioned why do rape victims make such a big deal out of it - a statement which kind of shocked me. Then on Facebook a friend of mine posted an interesting article about a professor teaching high school kids how not to rape, an article I read last evening, and someone else also posted a rape related comment because of News of course.

Upon waking part of me wondered whether the reason why I assumed the position was because part of me wanted to be raped in my dream. But no, I don't think so, my reaction was definitely sheer fear not any anticipation. I assumed the position in my dream because of the simple expectations cause effect in dreams.

Reassuringly enough my burglar's personality was such that I believe I was in no danger of actually being raped, even if I had not woken up. He seemed to be evaluating my reaction, and judging me to be a very confusing and ridiculous woman. So it was all in my head. My DC was not actually threatening, despite the potentially dangerous situation. Maybe given his personality I should not have expected him to try to rape me, but rather expected him to invite me to sit down with him at the table and calmly discuss the consequences: whether he could persuade me to please not call the police.

On another note: this was a very vivid dream. I think the vividness was enhanced by and also helped cause the intense emotions.

So, I'm really excited right now, let me lay it out for you, before I do though, I must warn you, it's nothing special.

On Friday, after a couple of nights with little or no sleep, I decided to take some Valium, my partner gets them as a prescription, so I 'nicked' a few of hers - don't tell her - and off to bed I went. I slept like a baby, as you can imagine and I dreamt of an old friend named Clint Diaso , I woke up and attempted to DEILD, but as I lay there I became more and more clear headed and so I got up to try my hand at WBTB. Neither worked.

Now, this is where it gets interesting, I don't know if it was the remnants of the sleeping tablets and I can't for the life of me remember what the dream was about, but what I do remember is at one point, the scene changed, right in front of my very eyes. I didn't need to do a reality check due to the fact that as soon as it happened, I asked myself if this was normal or was it a dream, then BOOM, I became lucid - I think - everything turned super, mega, hyper HD and I remembered the hand rubbing technique, unfortunately I then woke up rubbing my hands together.

Now as you can imagine, this excites me no end, I thought the lucid dream was something that would elude me forever, I'm older than I imagine most on here - maybe not, but the profiles I've read all belong to youngsters - and I always wondered if it's possible to teach an old dog new tricks, if you get my meaning.

So I'm reaching out to you folks for any encouragement and/or advice. Is this something that is normal, has it happened to anyone else, can I count that as a lucid dream, do you think it may have been a result of the valium in my system - no I'm not going to steal all her tablets, lol, she'd kill me - and is it usual to wake up still trying to stabilise your dreams. Any advice and pointers will be greatly received and I thank you all in advance.

Nicho...!