side notes

[Sunday, October 14th, 2012]
(Around 3AM and I wake up and remember quite a bit. I've been sleeping for along time. A LONG TIME.)


<dream had more before this, but this is where I started to remember>
I remember being ontop of a building's roof with a few other people. There is a small lake between me and the rest of the land. In the small beige-mud lake, there is debris everywhere and people scattered through out. Whenever I come close to the edge of the roof, a giant tenticle shoots out of the mud and tries to hit me. I hit it with a weapon before it sinks back down. Eventually, it becomes like WoW... when the tenticle pop's back up- I command the rest of my "raid" group to attack, and all of the people drowning in the mud all leap out and attack the tenticle. I begin to shoot it with some kind of range attack as this is happening. It sinks back one more time before I lure it back up for a final attack. We did it! Everyone is teleported to the dry land. There's a neat looking Mage Staff with a star at the end of it for loot. A few people "roll" for it- in a new way that I don't recognize. I leap from piece of debris to debris all the way across the swamp and as I'm climbing up a small hill to get to the land, I realize that I'm a low level but also the leader of the group. I walk up to the loot on the ground and try to right click on it, but nothing happens. I try to ask how to roll, but I'm teleported to Stormwind or some other city in real life before I have a chance.

In this other city, I try talking to the Raid but realize I've left the group and that it was a Guild group- that I can't talk to since I'm not in it now.

+

I'm leaving town to go up Yarnell hill with my Mom and maybe Casey/Nathan. We're on our way up the hill, and we must have been walking. We walk up the hill faster than usual and we notice that some parts of the railing going up the hill have been smashed and damaged. There've been reports of someone vandalising the rails. We make our way up the hill and we find a cave. It's a giant cave temple- that I tell my Mom is a "Shaman Training Temple" inside, we see people who look like WoW characters all standing around, as if they're really Shaman Trainers or people to buy things from or Questgivers. We walk up to the middle of the giant cave/room and one of us talks to a questgiver. One of the quest involves stopping the man from damaging the rails, apparently its Virgil from McDonald's management.

We leave and start walking up Yarnell hill more. Now I'm not with my Mom or Casey anymore, it's Nathan and Tyler. After awhile, we become thristier than ever and have to stop at a random convenience store. Inside, I grab a cup and fill it with a little ice and water. Its not enough ice though, so I hold the cup against the icemachine more and I notice how I can fill the cup up with ice without the water overflowing. I turn around and see a few kids I know selling some new drink ideas. (There was a peanut butter & honey snack- and there was a "Honey-Fizz" drink, as I'd like to call it, was handed to me. It was a dark yellow bottle of "Honey"-flavored soda. I opened it and downed it quick. It was AMAZING. It was one of the best drinks I've ever had. I made this known to everyone around me. After awhile of talking to Tyler and Nathan about this, I wake up.
<woke up>

[Friday, October 12th, 2012]
(Slept with Alex tonight. I woke up a few times and told Alex about my dream, but I forgot it entirely- since I didn't go straight to my Dream Journal. I was also tired as HELL when I first zonked out, due to overstonage and sexhaustion. I forgive myself- hopefully, the next morning will be better. Though I do plan on getting stoned in the morning with Alex and Nathan- we'll see how that goes.)

(I'll also note, that I've read a lot of books that changed my outlook on a lot of things- and I said a prayer (Soul Download) to help me with my ego problem. I felt different immediately, and I could feel that my ego had dissolved. It felt amazing- and me and Alex haven't had anything close to a fight since.)

[Thursday, October 11th, 2012]

<The night before this, Alex had told me how she felt about me... she popped the question, "Why are we together?" a few times and after she left, it felt like the end of the world. She was definitely going to leave me... I was angry and sad at the same time. Why is she so unfair with me? Demanding things of me, but when I ask for the same, she tells me I will never understand. She must love to drill me further into the ground. Even now as I type this, I can't help feeling a helpless feeling... a bitter disgust for the Alex that night, that lectured me like a child and let me know I was a horrible boyfriend. My heart sank 3 times smaller that night. I sat in my bed and sobbed for hours and screamed into my pillow, trying to stop my heart from hurting. I thought about hurting myself physically, I thought about leaving her before she could leave me. I even left a few scars on my mind. I finally calmed down after talking to her on the phone... she made me laugh... while I was going to get cigarettes, but I still felt miserable as I lied down to go to bed.>

(Before I fell asleep, being as horrible anxious and depressed and emotional as I was... I told my subconscious to just give me whatever dream it thought I needed to see. "Go ahead. Throw anything I need to see at me. But make me lucid. I need to be lucid!" I fall asleep.)

(Hours later, I have my first dream that I remember...)

I walk out of a motel room with Alex beside me and we look around. Some kind of festival was occuring all around us. People are walking around in all directions, mostly heading for a particular carnival ground. Some are in costume, some are stark naked. We walk around for a bit and decide to head back to where we came from, to change our appearence. I decide I wanted to either be stark naked too, or cross-dress. Back at the motel room, I skim through my options in clothes, and notice I suddenly have a lot of female clothes in my closet as well as male ones. Alex isn't with me anymore though. So I walk back outside and wander around some more- still with the urge to rip off all of my clothes.

Glancing around at people more, I notice that I know quite a lot of people here- no family members, but people from my town that I know are very common here. Suddenly, I see some people walking towards Bashas'. Apparently, Bashas' is allowing our festival to take as much food as we want to bring back for a feast. I follow the small crowd to Bashas'. Outside, I wait for an employee to unlock the doors... and we head in with shopping carts. We start tossing in random items, from meats to snacks to candy to cheeses to drinks. The second cart starts filling up with purely meat, and I warn them not to overdo it on meat.

<dream skips>

We're back at the festival. I grab a flyer from the ground and it shows my whole family is performing. Tim Z****, Bob Z****, and a few other Z****'s that I've never heard of. I realize that I can't cross-dress or go stark naked because they're here and I don't want them to think bad of me. I see Zack and Alex together and I walk up to them. Zack and me are friendly like we used to be.

<HOLE IN MEMORY> My Dad was involved with this memory, as were Alex and Zack. We were gathering something off the dirt street, there were lots of them... we were in the old west and my Dad was standing next to an old wagon. <memory skips>

We're now in the middle of a cardboard-like city. The buildings are close together and flat and textureless like a cheap old video game using 3D models of a wall and a cheap texture stretched across the surface. It's like a type of maze here with buildings painted on the walls. The structures do however tower into the sky like normal. I'm still with Alex and Zack. We're doing something <HOLE IN MEMORY> when me and Alex seperate from Zack. The grey sky becomes covered in clouds the color of charcoal. They become the darkest black imaginable. Me and Alex look at each other and instantly begin to run down the street, searching for shelter. I see Zack behind us walking some other direction, almost as if he's unaware. He turns a corner and I lose sight of him. I keep running the other way.

We arrive inside of a dark building to wait out the storm. Rain begins to POUR and we wait there for hours. When it finally stops, we go outside, and color is returning to the sky. The sun peaks out from behind the clouds, but the world is still a dull grey tone.

We walk back to where our motel was and I find where my car is parked. We hop in and begin to drive. She wants to find Zack... she's worried sick about him. I'm depressed- We drive for a bit more and <HOLE IN MEMORY> I park in the Circle K with pumps, and do a horrible job. I try to re-align my park job a few times before I give up and decide its okay how I parked. Alex walks up to me and starts yelling at me about some unknown thing and asks me why I left her somewhere. I tried to explain I didn't leave her anywhere... but it's no use. We both hop in the car however and drive off towards the direction of McDonalds. "Please, we have to find Zack. I'm worried about him." I keep driving.

Suddenly, we're in a Fun-House of Mirrors, sitting inside a track-ride. We slowly turn a corner and see Zack lying down. The car stops and Alex gets out and runs to Zack and gives him a long hug. She lets go and kisses Zack on the lips. I blink my eyes and see that Zack has his knuckle up to Alex lips. It's a gesture towards me- that Zack would have made before while he was still my friend. I watch the whole scene objectively, as if it had nothing to do with me... a movie I knew was depressing, but lacked the emotion to feel. The only thing I felt was that I was a horrible boyfriend- at that moment I remembered all of the things I had been saying throughout the dream. It was like my horrible self from waking life was invading my dreams- I had said pathetic things about Zack and that I was tired of all this shit and more. I felt horrible compared to Zack, who had just done something nice for me

<I wake up feeling like shit.>

(I still admired the intensity of the dream, and closed my eyes again and imagined being lucid during it... I repeated in my head, "It's a dream.")
================================================== =============
<I fell back into a dream.>
<It's continued with "Pedophilia in a Dark Place" after this dream.

[Wednesday, October 10th, 2012]
I remember singing "In The Company of Wolves" with Nathan and Alex.

<That's it for recall.>

(Later, I remember being inside of a strange building and outside meeting with smaller kids. There was baseball being played around me but I only remember faint impressions of it being something like a school or private school to be more exact.)

In the lodge of sorts. In my room I put too much stress on my red curtains. The section comes down. I hold the bar, attempting to fix it but soon come to believe it is a lost cause. A piece is broken/missing. I see a cat who I realize is Nala.

We come face to face and I begin to remember that she is dead. In my room I am in bed naked and Alexander crawls in next to me also naked. He spoons me and I can feel his smooth skin and th great warmth radiating from it. Suddenly I remember that his sweetheart is just outisde my room. The room with one missing curtain. I mildly panic, worried she can see us. Alexander doesn't seem a bit worried. I spot Kova. I pick her up and take her to the long couch where Alexanders' sweeheart sits. I give her the cat to play with and she seems very pleased.


Note: Kova is my cat, sister of Nala.

Note: This is the first dream I remember having in my life. I must have been three or four years old.

I'm in the living room of our first house on twenty-sixth and Alberta in Portland, Oregon. I'm not sure of my age but I can see my skinny little girl legs dangling down from my dad's lap. So I figure I'm three or four. We're in his light blue reclining chair. The sun sheds light on the chair and on me and on dad. I feel safe. Then it is dark. Not completely dark but the dark of a dense cloud covering sun. I am in the lap of Beetleguise. His black and white striped pants in place of my dad's blue jeans.

Cora, Keely and I are working behind the scenes at a university of some sort. In the main area I see Tom Waitts. I joke around with him and he leaves. I think I made him uncomfortable. The girls and I ride a strange elevator up to a hay colored loft area. We talk. I tell them that my uncle rocky invited me to this concert and I haven't even been inside yet. We go back down and I get a bit of vertigo. I sat on my butt for the decent. The university area is a really big and confusing. Cora and I leave and go around the corner. There is a very steep hill. I go for it at a run. I make it almost all the way up when I see car lights and turn a quick right into some major astral wind. The people I passed don't seem to be affected by it. I worry that they're looking at me funny. I do some swimming motions and make it finally. Im any raised, patio of some sort, that borders the main arena/university. There are many iron gates and green shrubs. I find Cora and we are in the hallway. I get the sense that this hallway is for staff only. We are sitting along rounded hallway. The kind that circle an arena. There is a girl next to her, along with various other apparent coworkers. The girl is dark skinned with gray blue and black dreadlocks. She bends Cora's head into her lap and begins to passionately kiss her. At first I am surprised but after a while I am just bored and somewhat anxious. Cora tells me something about her mystery girl, it is something along the lines of " I don't think I can live without her, I'm so grateful to have her in my life." Suddenly unconcerned about someone I need to keep in contact with via cell phone. I reach for my phone and by the time I'm looking at the screen to dial/TEXT it is pouring down soft warm rain. I'm mildly concerned for my phones well being but I soon forget. I am wandering now but have a definite goal in mind. A beautiful woman is around. She looks like Halle Berry and I know that she's kind and powerful. I find my way back to that patio/courtyard. Someone is leading me to a table surrounded by very special people these people are the ones whom this whole production/concert is for. I know that I'm not supposed to be worthy of their presence but whoever is leading the insist that I belong. " How could we possibly begin without you?" They say to me as I take my spot around the table.
Note: at some Point I find myself and alone lit room and the university I'm talking to an older professor. All of the doorknobs are defective.

I didn't remember what my dream is when I woke up, only just that it involved a person. Earlier today I had flashbacks of the dream. I now remember one scene of the dream.Scene:
I feel terribly alone. I'm in woods, I think it's central park. I see a person, but just like my last dream, the "lag" had returned. I moved closer to the person. The lag was changing the person's gender from female to male on and off. Before I woke up it stopped at female and I still can barely see the person's face. I feel terrified. I feel as though something terrifying will happen. Suddenly,(Just like a movie trailer when it zooms up on a demon-like girl) I zoomed toward the girl. Just as I start wake up I only get to see the pale, white girls' mouth and the bottom of her nose(I could not see her eyes) she was smirking guilty-like. The girl had the same jacket on as the girl I liked in the fifth grade when we really started talking.<END OF DREAM>

I've had vivid dreams the past few weeks. Almost 100% forgotten. A few lucid fragments I clearly recall:

Fragment #1: I'm walking to the corner of Cherry St along the sidewalk looking at houses. I get to the corner house and it's huge. It has boarded up painted gray windows. I start looking around comparing houses and realize: "This is a dream!" I leap off into the air flying about 15ft up. For some odd reason, I head towards my house (I think to get my map?), I see the rooftops of houses start to fill my view. The dream piece by piece fades into patches of gray fog, and ends.

Cherry is also the street I had my first trained lucid dream on. I've had several lucid dreams in recent years that started on this corner. This represents a small but significant breakthrough for my Map of Dreamland objectives.

Fragment #2: I'm in a strange house. It is sunny out, probably around 2pm. My EX-GF is there. She is dressed very gaudy. Pink scarf. Thick makeup. Half slut, half goofball. Not her style in waking life, but she looked very real, and so did the living room area we were in. This detail is hazy now, but the topic of her current BF comes up. That he may not be thrilled I'm in their home. I decided to leave by going upstairs (to avoid her BF?). I essentially fly up the stairs. When I reach the top, I see something that makes my blood run cold...

Inside her 2nd floor kitchen was a hazy looking ghost of a woman. Rotating around the figure was a candle and something else. There was a female sounding whirring noise. I barely looked at this thing for 2 seconds when I went flying away. Down a hall, into a garage, out a side door into the street. I got a good distance a way before I looked behind me. I was alone in a peaceful looking suburb. It seemed familiar and connected to my city, but does not exist in waking life.

I had a dream this morning that I was looking at sheet music. I turned the page, and the next page was what it should have been. I went back to the first page of the music, and it had turned into the page of a manga. "I must be dreaming," I said as I was suddenly snapped back to my bed. Unfortunately, I could feel my dream eyes closing, which meant I was waking up. I opened my eyes and realized I had woken up in sleep paralysis. I could move my fingers a little bit, but even that was really difficult. I knew it was important to stay calm, so I focused on keeping my breathing steady to keep myself calm. I figured I'd "wake up" from SP if I just stayed calm and kept my eyes open.

Then, I got the idea to use this as an opportunity for DEILD. I closed my eyes, hoping to transition back into a dream. Before long, my ears started ringing, which I'd heard was common during SP. It'd stop whenever I opened my eyes, though.

Eventually, I just woke up - for real - instead. I was pretty sure the SP had just been a dream because it had had that "hazy" feel to it, and I was also fairly certain I hadn't been holding my Link plushie, which I would've been holding if I was awake (though I can't say for certain that I wasn't, since I didn't look down at my hand and could barely move).

I soon fell asleep and had another dream. In this dream, an old lady who looked to be about 90 or 100 walked into a doctor's office, sat down on the chair, and said, "Goodbye, humans. I'm the president's own woman."

I was on facebook. This seems to be a regular occurance in my dreams, it's quite strange, it's not like through my eyes watching facebook, it's as if Facebook IS reality, so that's all I can see, but it still applies to my real life. I was discussing pizza with someone, I decided that I would much rather have a 10 inch pepperoni pizza as opposed to a 12 inch beef pizza, as pepperoni is a much better topping and quantity < quality I think the pepperoni had green pepper on too (:

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I'm going to experiment with a new technique tonight, as my dream recall and lucid dreaming has been almost non-existant recently. A fellow DreamViews user MasterMind recommended I try it. The basis is that you keep a journal of the things you do in REAL LIFE as well as in your dreams. Loads of people replied saying it worked, so I may as well give it a go.

Fell asleep at 10:30pm ish last night. Woke up at 6:00am. I decided to awake early this morning despite not needing to wake up until 7am, so that I would have time to play an hour or so of L.A. Noire on the xBox as I haven't had time in the evenings. I had a glass of orange squash, had a shower, went for a cigarette, had a coffee and my cereal, and started playing the game. I realized at about 7:30am that I needed to get ready for college. I put some music on a memory stick for my friend, got ready and left the house. On the way to my bus stop I had my last cigarette out of the tobacco pouch. I was also planning to quit smoking after this. When I got to the bus stop there was a man there waiting who was middle aged. My friend Rob.M crossed the road and waited with me. When the bus came, it was very cramped. We listened to two fat girls talk about their life drama on the bus. At the bus station Rob got off for a fag but I just waited with him. When we got to college my first lesson was Philosophy. We studied liberty and laws prohibiting homesexuality and prostitution, and whether they should be legal. After class, me and some friends when to the smokers pen. I was offered a menthal cigarette by a new friend but I turned it down. After a discussion about cigarettes, weed and LSD, I left for Music Technology. I did some work in this lesson which was recreating "The Look of Love" but after doing a bit of work I spent a lot of the lesson chatting to my mate James. I walked to town with Sam after this lesson. He offered my saves on a fag, I declined. After the cash machine and my headphones broke I was quite pissed off. I returned home with an uneventful bus journey. At home, my Mum and I had a very long, heated argument about my parents addiction to the TV and me always being miserable. I concluded that the argument was an over-reaction caused by me quitting smoking. After this, I played with my Dog for a bit, watched the news, had a nice fish and chips, used the computer for a bit, listened to a new album when my Mum and Dad went to work at 6pm, and wrote this

xo

No recall.

[Friday, October 5th, 2012]
(I wake up the first time with poor recall. Blame it on the marijuana. This is a huge road block for me. But my best friend is obsessed with it, and
Alex isn't much better. But my WILLPOWER is better than this. I don't need to smoke to have fun. But I need to quit or seriously cut back to
enjoy lucid dreaming, and better recall.)

(I remember something...)

I'm walking into the pet shop... or the pet-shop owner's house... I'm going to see him to say hello. I walk inside the door and Pastor Greg is just
leaving- he smiles at me and asks what I'm up to and how I've been. I reply, "I'm good. I'm going to see Will, the Pet Shop Owner. I continue inside
but don't remember finding him.

Well after re-reading several of my old dreams I guess I should put in a little disclaimer, in other words, cover my ass a bit. Since I'm an adult, my dreams do tend to central around some adult subject matter, this includes but isn't limited to sexual themes, nudity and sometimes gender confusion. Also my dreams tend to contain strange enviorments, sometimes a lot of nonsense matterial, and a lot of disney and college related info. I may refer to a roomate or class mate here and there but I tend to keep names out of it. Lastly, my dreams are LONG!! It takes me an hour or better in the morning to write them down, so when reading, don't be surprised at seeing a novel length or two up here.

Thanks for reading this boring disclaimer.

October 8th 2012

3:00 AM to 9:00 PM; 9:10ish AM to 10:00 ish = ~6 hours and 50
minutes

I found my old DJ format... Took me forever to work how to salvage it. Let's get the dreams rolling!

Flight[LQ]
The moment I really opened my eyes and took a look around... a man in an old samurai kimono stood before me. The sky was a blazing azure... and the ground before me nothing more than sparse clouds groomed into notable pathways.

From the moment he spoke, the timbre of his voice sent me lucid.

"Do you know how to fly?" He smiled at me.

It was getting chilly, windy... Before I could answer I gave it thought. In theory I knew how to do everything. Noticing this he sighed, "then let's give you wings."

With that the segment I stood upon vanished and I plummeted. I was ecstatic. I remembered briefly someone who used to say that dream entities could teach us things.

I took control of the wind before, falling too far down into the endless blue, only to wake up as I hit the level of flight he wanted me to.

Alarm went off...

Adventure Time
The world had taken a very strange turn. Essentially the world had taken a Steampunk-Adventure Time-Revolution feel to it. I was apart of the rebel group alongside my best friends, Jake, Fin, and a few other people.

The government patriarch was against me. The others fled ahead to a safe house that had a very Eastern-Western fusion to it.

Night had fallen and I had finally gotten a pack of men off my tail. I had a sword on me as I slid into the trap door of the house.

Nothing had been very interesting, but for some reason my Wfiey had been edging me to talk to Jake... because he was supposedly very handsome and interested in me. Rule one about me--don't try to force me into things. I retaliate.

Rather than approach him and at least be a good comrade--since we were on the same side afterall--I blatantly ignore him as I catch up with Fin and everyone else on what we should do next since I had unfortunately not left unnoticed. The government wanted me caught and brought to their leader.

There then cuts to a random part where I'm tackling my old roommate to the ground and we're friends again. Rolling around, laughing and playing. All was well until we were sitting there calming down from laughing and I knew that this wasn't real... that there would never be a day where she would stop hating my guts and we'd be civil, maybe even friendly again...could we? I get up and walk away... a bit confounded by things.

Eventually I was forced to interact with Jake, he knew a thing or two about guns and propulsion designs. We actually got along really well, and up until the soldiers came in and made the night a blood bath, all was at ease.

Heavily influenced by my day... Lots of details unfortunately forgotten though. Didn't have my notebook on me. And my writing is stiff... ick