All DJ Entries

First thing's first: Yay! Two lucids within a week of each other!

So I dreamt I was wandering around an urban area by myself. I had just come from somewhere in some buidling(I forget what I was there for). I began walking towards the road, when I spotted my friend. She waved at me and smiled as she walked towards a blue car waiting for her. She got into the nice-looking car and shut the door. I then randomly became lucid, and I felt like doing something with her. I approached the car as it began to drive away very slowly, and I grabbed onto the spoiler of the car. I pulled back, and the car came to a stop and slid to the right. The girl got out, and we walked together for a bit, but my intentions with her were thrawrted as I awoke.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

Dream 1 - Hunting Hooligans with Gandalf
Me and Gandalf are out on a lake that has ice around it. We're waiting to catch someone, and then we see some hooligans on the other side. We sprint over, occasionally falling into the icy water but not caring. Gandalf blasts them with his magic, there are a few that turn up behind me too. I take a chunk of charcoal from a small pouch I have, and then hurl it at the hooligans feet. BOOM. I take another piece and chuck it at them which sizzles through the ice beneath them, they managed to duck into a cave in the side of a glacier we're next to though. Gandalf has followed some other hooligans into the glacier too, and as I turn the corner I see him getting off the ground and starting to give chase. I follow with him, we end up running down some steep ice stairs (I think about how dangerous this is but I don't slip). Suddenly I'm in my old school gymnasium, I have my backpack on and the previous events seem like they never happened. I see a good place to sit and realize I need to put my bag away first. I head over to where everyone else is putting their bags and put it there, then turn around and see that the room has filled up more and that my seat has been taken. I see V (a friend from my form class at school) and I decide I'll go sit next to him. The dream ends here.

Dream 2 - Don't know how to name this one
So I'm taking a test with my friend J from high school, except we're not in school, we're at some random animal facility. I think there are a bunch of normal looking animals that we can see through a glass window to my left (elephants, sheep, etc). We have to evacuate for some reason and I remember that there was a girl from before who was too scared to run, I tell someone that I'm going back for her (I was nearly at an escape plane when I realized this). I find her crying and tell her to go to the plane, she says she can't find her monkey (a plush toy teddy bear thing). I promise her that I'll bring it to her, she then makes her way to the plane while I sprint off in the opposite direction. I meet J again and he's super excited, he passed the test with 90%! I give him an ecstatic hug and congratulate him. I ask him what I got and then he realizes that the 90% was actually mine (I recently got 90% in a university assignment), and that on his test he got 93%. This is kind of weird because I got 10/11 which apparently equals 90%, and he got 10/10 which equaled 93%. I didn't click to how weird it was though. I continue on and now I'm in a room with another glass window and animals on the other side, except they're super strange this time. They're pretty much aliens, and they're woolly and have tusks, some are sheep that are covered in mud and grass. There's a lady who is telling us what to do, she tells us to all sit down and that those animals are all dangerous monsters. There are a few of the sheep variety in a cage in the corner of the room, next to the cage is another cage and there are stuffed toys in there, one of them is the monkey I'm looking for. I see someone jump the fence to the animal enclosure on the other side of the window, I shout it out to the teacher and she ridicules me. I say 'No, I definitely saw someone!', I then get the courage to approach the sheep in the corner of the room. I am super nervous, I rip up a bit of grass and hold it out to them, shaking and my heart is pounding. I pull back a few times, cautious in case they are vicious flesh eaters. I manage to keep my cool and feed them the grass, I then say to everyone else "They're not vicious, they're just sheep covered in mud and grass". The monkey in the cage is gone and I know I have to find it, but I think now that it's somewhere over the fence.

Dream 3 - English Tests
I'm in an English classroom and my teacher is the same as my teacher from high school. I seem to know that I'm a university level student, yet I've gone back to high school, and I think about how easy it will be now that I know everything. The class starts and we have to draw out an intro page, then we have a test the following day, and an assignment due at the end of the week. I think about how ridiculous this is, it's only the first day. But I reassure myself that I'll nail everything with excellence and make up for my slacker attitude during my first time at high school. Everyone else has finished drawing up their intro page and the bell goes, I'm still drawing mine and so is another Asian kid in front of me. The teacher is pissed and gives us an extension on everything, saying that we'll need it. Once again I feel the need to prove that I'm not a dumb ass. The dream ends after that.

A lot to do with my old high school for some reason.

Can't remember the beginning, but there were bats in our house - swarms of them flying around in every room. Some of them ended up dying for some reason and our cats started playing with/grabbing/hunting them. We didn't like that so we tried to stop them from doing so, and my mom worked on cleaning up the dead bats/parts. I mentioned locking the cats up or outside. Went into the kitchen to get something to eat and saw one of my siblings (sister, and brother wasn't home?) being threatened/kidnapped and they wanted to take me too. Threatened my parents and I with a weapon then took my sister/brother outside. They were gone for awhile, and I wanted to try and make an escape while he was still gone, before he came back, but my parents didn't seem interested in doing so. I tried to convince them before he came back, and it seemed like they were thinking about it, but it was too late and he came back before I could convince them to make a run for it with me. He made me look for something while he went to get something else, at which point I also tried to convince my parents to make an escape attempt, but he again came back before I got them to move. After we were all forced out of the house and moved somewhere else, two of us were forced to dig holes in the ground while he watched. A random person/neighbor stopped by to ask what we were doing, and we tried to send some meaningful warning glances at her, but she didn't understand our message. She said something about a guy being reported on TV for something, but didn't make a connection. When she saw that the holes we were being forced to dig were in the shape of people (kind of like snow angels) she got scared and understood, and tried to help us escape by throwing shovels of dirt at him/n his eyes, and we fought as well. The guy overpowered us though, and captured the other lady as well, and we were all taken back to the others. At some point later, we were on what must have been a ship/aircraft of some kind, and two of us were sent somewhere in another contraption to investigate/find something. We were met by a strange woman and brought to a weird place, a haven of some kind. She explained that there had been an experiment of some kind on war vets, including on a veteran and his black lab. Both the man and his dog were heroes of some sort. She showed us a circle made of many different segments, and one segment was gray instead of glowing a greenish blue. She explained that the place was a safe haven for the war vets/heroes, but that the man of whom she had spoken, with his black lab, had gone missing, and they needed to be found. We then realized that there had been a black lab on the aircraft we were being held on. The scene switched back to that aircraft, which was flying, and someone was playing scales on a clarinet, which annoyed another people. One lady who had also been captured had been secretly coming up with a contraption that would enable her to fly away to safety (similar in nature to the one Hiccup designed in How To Train Your Dragon 2 *awesome movie by the way*), and when the bad guy looked like he was almost asleep, she curled up, adjusted, then sprang out of the aircraft, and it woke the bad guy up, and he got angry. The woman we were talking to asked us to help her, and to be very careful. The contraption we got there on was called back to the main aircraft, with us on it. After we got back, we paid more attention to the little details, trying to figure out a means of escape, and just exactly what was going on that we had been dragged into. The end of the dream was kind of fuzzy and confusing, but no resolution had been made by the time I woke up.

Remembered but didn't write down. Oops. One long, complicated dream. Started with some sort of activity/obstacle course. Then changed to my mom and sister, they pulled in with a horse trailer that had a mini camping/living trailer attached. Looked to be in Chris and Alyssa's (my cousin) driveway/house. Began talking about some kind of event we could go to, $10 per person per day, carnival/camp of some sort, I invited Ris as well. My dad showed up at some point. Turned strange, my sister was a group leader/counselor of some kind, lots of weird activities and places (underground maze, psychic cave, lots of other stuff) and a big auditorium of some sort. Caroline (girl from high school) was there at some point too. Began to involve characters from TV shows (Bones, Castle, NCIS, Criminal Minds - mostly Bones), a hunt for a traitor, deceitful schemes and strange ulterior motives, questioning. In the auditorium of sorts, hard to explain. Began to suspect Sweets of being the traitor, some bad guy (Sweets or Caroline) was missing, we (at least my dad and I, don't remember exactly who else) going through the grounds and we were looking on the way to somewhere else, for where the traitor might be hiding.

Long, complicated, hard to explain dream. It started with some sort of high school event. I went outside with my coat and wallet, threw up, (something about being pulled down stairs?), then went back inside my house to sleep. Ris (my boyfriend) came over. Later, was pulled down the stairs. Fighting with parents, got in trouble, apparently ruined my wallet and coat in the rain in the middle of the night. Ris called his mom to ask her a question, she was going to call him back. Still fighting with my parents. Something about a lunch/event in the high school cafeteria several days before a bigger one. Think I might have gone to the lunch/event with Ris (side note - I didn't know him back in high school) then came back home. More fighting. I talked to Julie (his mom) or left her a text/voicemail. Our house started to get worked on by a bunch of people. Gates were put up at driveways so only certain/qualified people could get in. Signs/pieces of paper were put up around our house, don't remember exactly what they said. Saw Connie and another person (in the same vehicle- truck?) pull in, talk to someone, and toss something on the ground. My mom asked me to go out to her and tell/ask or give her something, so I put my boots on and went out. By the time I got out there, she was gone, so I looked around. There were lots of cars parked in rows. May have started to take pictures. Connie came back, and I did what my mom wanted me to. She asked me if I wanted to see something cool, then tossed something on the ground, and it started moving around. She explained that it was a "mechanical Fido" and we laughed/talked about it. She went on to what she needed to do, and I started to look around again and maybe take pictures. Got a phone call back from Julie, so I answered, she first asked about driving then we moved onto other topics. I must have gotten into a truck and sat there. At some point Karlen? came up and got into the truck, said he had to move it but I could stay in it if I wanted to. I was still on the phone with Julie and did stay in the truck. He joked around some, swung the truck around and almost hit a line of cars, but didn't. I then got somewhere else (the command center?) but not sure how. There was a computer there. My brother and dad were there as well at some point, helping. Can't remember what the problem was or what they were helping with. I ended up getting involved somehow. A computer program was involved, started malfunctioning or got a virus or something. We went somewhere strange (a cave?) trying to either find or fix something. I was with them. There was some sort of a video game/story that started to become real. I had to jump and dodge stuff. At some point, other characters became involved (Morgan, maybe Ziva or Prentiss), somehow in the video game/story. There was something about the bad guy escaping, something about my mom leaving for a long time because of it, there was a means of escape called by the bad guy but she (or Ziva/Prentiss?) had already taken care of the bad guy and either she called it or the bad guy did before he was taken care of, was going to need to do something in order to reduce suspicion/problems etc, cover up of some sort? Don't remember if she ended up going off or not, may have woken up before the end of the situation.

I was at a community club event. I knew I was dreaming (not sure why). Usually I take off and fly and try to take full advantage of the situation, but this time I decided to keep quiet, observe, interact, and use no super powers. As a note, this lucid dream lasted about 15 minutes, and was very stable and clear. No stabilization was needed. It’s definitely one of my longest lucid dreams.

The community club was full of people, at least 100. I moved through the crowd of people, saying, “Hi!”, and “Excuse me.” People really didn’t notice me. I was scanning the crowd seeing dream characters interact, hearing conversations, and there was chatter everywhere. I could see people appearing instantly out of nowhere. I noticed characters here and there yawning and getting tired. The sleepy characters would stop interacting, would lie down, or vanish, or sink through the floor. Aside from dream characters appearing and disappearing, it was unbelievable just how real the experience seemed!

I came upon this young girl in her early twenties, very pretty, and she reminded me of my daughter. I decided to talk to her. I asked her name, and she replied (I forget her name). I introduced myself. She smiled, and we started talking casually, as we strolled around the crowd. She seemed to like hanging out with me. She then yawned, and she started to disappear. I asked her to stay, and to keep talking to me. I coaxed her along, and she was back again interacting. We headed over to the corner of the community club, by the tables. I asked her if she would like to sit down. She nodded and sat at the end of the table, and I sat opposite to her. There were several gray haired older women sitting at the table. One of the ladies said hi to me, and used my name! I thought how does she know my name?

After about 10 minutes I thought it was about time to blow my lucidity cover up, so I told the young girl I was dreaming. She looked at me and seemed very confused by what I was saying. I asked her where she lived, and she said from Queens, New York, off Hwy??, near the exit ramp. I asked her for her phone number, and she gave me a mixture of letters and numbers. I told her to try again, and she said the same numbers and letters again. The older ladies around the table suddenly started looking bit up tight, and I could see a glowing orange light behind me.

I looked around, and there was this man in a black suit jacket trying to tie me up to a metal post with a glowing strap. I stood and backed away from him, and I said, “It’s all okay, everything is okay, and I’m leaving.” He seemed to be fine with this and he walked away. I decided to follow him and ask him why he was trying to tie me up. He stopped, looked at me, and then I asked him. He told me, “You’re not following the rules.” Suddenly a porcelain black cat appeared on the ground beside me. I could see the cat’s eyes moving. Btw, black cats are my dream sign, and often tell me when I’m dreaming. The man in the black suit, pointed at the black cat and said in a harsh voice, “And why does that thing keep appearing?” I felt like telling him, “Because that’s my dream sign stupid!” I bent down and picked up the cat carefully into my arms, and petted it. The porcelain cat became this perfect golden eyed, black cat. We walked away from the man in the black suit. I always give this black cat a lot of affection in my dreams. The cat started to lick my face and lean into my chest. I then woke up and immediately recorded my Lucid dream.

1. I was with some other people, going to a doctor appointment of some kind. Depression. Discussions with family, friends, relatives Something involving a boat - Ris's parents' boat? His mom was there later on in the dream. Was trapped in a strange almost alternate dream type world with some other people, told we wouldn't be able to get out for a full 40 days. Doing tasks and exploring things. Had something to do with the appointment and thinking of depression. After 30 days I saw a glimpse of reality again and talked to my aunt and uncle and cousins, shocked that I had been missing for a month. Awkward. Got pulled back into the other world and remember something about Julie (Ris's mom) being with me by the water and their boat was there and we were waving at people on another boat going by.

2. Was in a Mexican restaurant, maybe some sort of group meeting or a high/grade school reunion? Saw some people from school (Morgan for example - looking contemptuously at me when i passed by with menus) with a specific group of people, had trouble finding seats at the table for everyone so I and maybe someone else sat on barstools next to the table. I ordered my usual (bean and cheese burrito no sauce, with beans and rice on the side), and ate the complimentary chips. Had to leave for some reason and kept coming back, another person apparently left as well (different reason - a plane?) and we came back to find everyone else gone. My burrito was still there, the waiters said something, the other lady said a phone call or plane and something about sleeping in the restaurant. I used a computer to look something up, was on a site about a tutorial on something by a Christian, two names, I submitted my opinion on the poll. Guy on the computer next to me. Showed me a video of people performing CPR on a young boy, who did revive. Leaned over to show me something on my computer. Conversation.

1. Dreamed about lucid dreaming methods/techniques. Had a fight with my sister in the living room, she tried to unplug my charging phone/laptop and use the charger herself, started saying ugly things to me. Johnson and Breckenridge twins (twins of families we know) were over. Breckenridges in Holly's room and Johnsons in Charlie's. (Holly and Charlie are my siblings) Holly feeding them breakfast, and at some other point giving one of the Breckenridge twins a baked/mashed potato. Went to check if they were gone or still there - gone. These are fragments - remembered more fully/more plot but fell asleep before writing anything down.

2. Could be chained to/continuation or morph of dream 1, unsure. Vaguely familiar of/similar to the plot of my next NaNo (random side note- NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month where you write a novel in a month in November, awesome stuff. 100k word 400 page novels, but the NaNo goal is 50k words. end random side note) novel, but also quite different. Was with someone (my dad? someone else?) either looking for something or investigating. I was being framed for something? The middle is vague/foggy, it changed into something else, different but similar, saw Amanda and later on Kara (people from grade school), there was some evil person trying to control us. I fell backward in my chair that I was tied to, needed help getting back up. Was scared and depressed. At one point she asked what our favorite Christian/worship songs were, and someone started with You Lift Me Up.

No supps

DILD: The (forgotten) storyline continues and I plan to be back to this? place and hire a floating bed to do so. It's a beach environment though it later flows into a more canyon like place. I look at the guy to let him know I'm taking one of his beds also expecting to pay but he ignores me, decide for a really small one and then start to maneuver in the water. The place changes a bit, but I kind of assume to have just passed the desired location while I keep trying to navigate on the mini wooden bed as large waves hit me and take me deeper into the sea. I manage to move more towards the coast where it changes to a canyon like place. The colors are really bright and pleasant during the entire time and now it's like a canyon during an autumn afternoon.

My awareness goes up and I recall the bonus task: create a new song on an instrument that doesn't exist in waking life. I have some doubts about how exactly am about to proceed as I haven't really considered this during the day. At this moment two butterflies appear in front of me and I briefly fix them one next to each other thinking this will make for a perfect instrument. Now the only thing that's left is for me to start playing. After moving the glued double butterfly instrument around a bit (I think at this point it started making the drumming sound), I take the two butterflies apart and holding one in each hand, I start producing the song by methodically tapping with them the corners of an invisible frame. This results in perfect drumming sounds. I repeat this movement until the beat and melody is solidified in my mind and then allow for further beat variation. Happy to have completed the task I briefly think about the experience.

This seemed like the end of a long REM with nlds before that and at this point the dream dissolves, but I manage to switch to a different scene or deild?

It looks like I'm in a nicely furnished house located somewhere in the woods . I find myself in the kitchen and at that moment feel how the dream is slipping away. Can't quite come up with what to do here to be more active and engaged but I have the feeling and strong urge to throw a small nearby bottle against the wall. The (tabasco like) bottle breaks in pieces as it hits the wall and this weirdly enough provides me with a sense of stability. I turn around and see a larger jar of what looks like passata and casually drop it to the floor to watch how the glass breaks and the passata starts leaking out. I'm amazed with the accuracy of physics as this happens.

Nearby are a number of beautiful wooden drawers and I have a quick look to find some jewelry inside. It's pretty awesome but for some reason doesn't capture more interest from my side, so I close the drawer, looking around for something else. I go towards a darker corridor which coincides with another feel of the dream thinning. I decide not to go as far but stop midway in front of a beautiful wooden wardrobe.

This reminds me of another exploratory task and I decide to check what's inside. There are lots of clothes that give me the initial impression they belong to my mom. I browse through the clothes hoping to find something cool, but the one-many effects gets on them. Basically, most clothes start having the same blue purple colors and I am displeased at this lack of variety. I decide to give it another try by allowing the clothes to change when I close the wardrobe. I wait for a bit, trying not to think of the previous look of the clothes (which I do, but wait a bit more) and then open the wardrobe again. The result is a different set of clothes. There is a really cute pink shirt that seems my size. Though my intention was to simply browse through the clothes and see what my mind comes up with, I now have the desire to try this shirt and see how I look.

In the meantime, my thoughts about the clothes belonging to mom seem to have summoned her and now her DC is here making comments about the clothes. I can't quite recall our exact words, but I decide to play along telling her some confirmation about what she was asking about and find this utterly funny as I know it's just a dream and my comment is completely false. I continue with my dressing but first I have to undress. There is a mirror just to the side of the wardrobe where I see that I am wearing pink trousers that would nicely fit the highly desired dream shirt. And funnily, I don't realize as I am undressing myself that I am actually already wearing a pink shirt! The shirt gets stuck on my wrist where it's a bit tight and the dream soon ends.

10.26.14

Last night bed after 10 - 5:30 (overslept my 4:45 alarm)

DR
Ring, that looks just like the one I have in WL is broke. I didn't even notice at first, but something catches my eye and I look closer. I see one stone missing. I get a bad feeling and keep turning it and another one is missing and another one. Some stones are like filed down or broken, many are missing, rest is dirty.

I'm glad I didn't remember this one in the mornign. Recalled it just 30 min ago.

DR 5:30
This one I remembered when I woke up.

I have a dog. I give him hotdog with a bun. He swallows it whole. Then he tries to spit it out, coz obv too big. Only half comes out. On the second half he starts to choke. I'm getting scared and I do Heimleck on him. Doesn't help. I yell for a doctor. Some kind of a dentist shows up and not sure if he helps or not, but dog is ok now.

Then we debate best toothbrush for dogs.

DR
I'm looking out the window on the tennis courts accross the street from my house. I realize my view is obscured, because they build some walls and stuff. It's all metal sheet walls.

Non Lucid confused fragments fae a sleepy lad.

My boy had tae answer various questions for something or other, he's only three and it was a bit much - I think coz I canny really mind. Me, the boy and my wife then had a walk doon the street and she moaned and said 'I thought the questions were going to be gender specific' - at that my wee lad raced off.

A lassie I've not seen IRL for years sitting in a comfy chair. She was a bit on the large side. I asked her to tell me what a particular guy had said to her , she refused then looked at the guy (who , of course was suddenly there) and laughed hysterically then said 'You hid my pants!'

I was sitting outside on some grass. A lassie I ken well walked past wearing tight grey leggings and , jings, whit a sight she was!

Two 'Watching the telly dreams'

A new Scooby Doo series - there was a wee evil dwarf like charcter who was able to hypnotise the gang, and they spent their time trying to get oot of some tunnels.

A game show or such like with a hyper like thin looking mannie saying the same words over and over while spinning roond and roond and climbing a pole.

Hmm

So i was aboard a passenger ship, and after a while i found my sister atop some beams.
Then i remember being in a cave like those in videogames, and at the end there was a "boss", a scientist showed me 9 monsters standing next to each that looked the same, with one being bigger than the rest standing behind. Only one of them was the real boss, and it happened to be the third counting from the right. A piece of paper gave me the answer, having each monster marked with a number, being number 0 the real one.
After that i remember being in my house. I go to the bathroom to look at the mirror and notice my front teeth are all messed up. I take a closer look and then i feel my teeth falling in my mouth. I start spitting them out when my father appears, i tell him what happened and after that i don't remember anything else.

There's a woman who's been unknowingly designated to play the role of Mary. (A reference to Mary Vetsera and/or Mary Kelly - the point is that she was remembered for her death, and that a certain amount of time has passed since, so it's time for events to repeat themselves.) She'd been running from a stranger with a knife, found a friend of hers to help her, and they've wound up barricading themselves inside a room. Due to a struggle at the door, the stranger's knife wound up on the floor inside the room with them. But the stranger wasn't the threat here - he was trying to help her. I'm in the POV of the thing possessing her friend, though possession in this case means only a certain amount of influence over his thoughts - he's the one fated to kill her.

There's a man, a servant, who I made immortal a long time ago. He came to resent me, so I sent him away to the household of a woman I'm close with. From her letters, I believe that's worked out well for them both. I'm staying with her at the moment, and he's showing me something I hadn't realized before - the wounds he had when I made him immortal never healed. The pain is very minor, but it never goes away.

I was a young man swimming at night in a bay. A storm had blown up, and for some reason even though I was already in the water I felt the need to take shelter from the rain, so I grabbed a tarp that was connected to a rectangular three-sided frame (so open on one side) and held it over my head. This didn't feel sufficient, so I found a second tarp, this one on a round frame. Propping both of these overhead, I felt sufficiently protected from the storm to swim back to shore.

When I reached the beach, I peered through the darkness for the friends I expected to find there, but it was quiet and empty. They must have all gone home when the storm began, leaving me stranded. At first I felt a deep sense of loss and abandonment, but after a moment I realized there was another way to look at it: I was now free. I didn't have to go back with them, I could go someplace new.

I swam back out into the water, feeling no need to hide under the tarps anymore, and went farther than I had ever gone. As I was about to swim out the far side of the bay, the ground came up close under the water, like a boundary. I could feel the rocks sharp under my feet and I almost turned back, but mustered my courage and pressed forward. Then I was swimming in what resembled a small inlet into a river, and I recognized that I was in another land.

It wasn't as dark here, and I could see a boat passing by in the main river. There were several people in it, who I took to be natives of this land. I was tempted to hide at first, afraid they might be hostile if they spotted me, a stranger, but again I kept my courage up and swam forward. Fortunately they were friendly, and welcomed me among them.

I think there was a male chieftain in the boat, although the main purpose of the boat was to take the pregnant daughters of the tribe to a special place where they could finish their pregnancies. I immediately bonded with one of the girls and realized that I wanted to go along and help her, if she would let me.

This dream is from the morning of October 24th, 2014.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #251: Let Them Eat Cake

I’m in a big kitchen with lots of family and a few friends, including Wife, my kids E and R, and my brother-in-law Muppet, and several others. As I’m looking around this huge kitchen, my mantra to “look for the dream” returns to me, and as I consider my situation, I become lucid.

I announce to the room that I’m dreaming. Muppet responds with some skepticism, so I say, “No, it’s true!” and levitate him up to the kitchen ceiling. This makes him become skinny like a piece of paper, which disturbs me enough that I reverse the levitation. He laughs and seems to accept that this is a dream.

“Oh hey, [Wife]!” I say. “You’re going to love this!” And I summon this buttery, bready, poofy baked good for her on a small saucer. I hand it to her, but I’m unable to resist rudely tearing off a piece and stuffing it in my mouth. So delicious! I mean, it’s just ridiculous how good this thing is. Wife chows down, too, and for a moment I can taste this awesome bread thing through her mouth as well.

I’m having an incredibly good time with all of this eating, so I decide that I want to make something for Muppet as well. I wonder whether it’s his birthday IWL but can’t remember. As I think this, everyone in the big kitchen starts singing “Happy birthday” to Muppet. I produce a huge birthday cake slathered in buttercream icing and now Muppet’s carrying it in his hands. “Thanks, man!” he says.

Family members start taking slices of the cake, and I scoop out a big handful of it like a barbarian and start eating it. It’s really good, although the icing is almost disgustingly creamy and decadent. I shove it down my pie-hole as fast as I can.

Wife says, “Hey, is this vegan?”

“This is a dream! Everything in here is vegan!” I happily enjoy several more huge bites of cake, stuffing icing in my face in a way that I haven’t done since I was a little kid. I’m munching away happily as the dream ends.