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[I nearly forgot about this one despite how vivid it was. Physics final OP]

It's all hazy and stuff, but I think I see a conveyor belt. A large green tube of thin liquid hangs above it, and as food is pulled underneath it the tube releases the liquid at timed intervals. I wake up [in the dream] and realize that it was a kinda odd thing to dream about compared to my usual adventures.

So after I got to school, I ended up talking to my friends in a cafeteria. They were discussing a new meal on the menu and how awesome it was.

"Mike, have you tried this stuff yet? It's awesome!"

"Doesn't look appetizing, what's in it?"

"I don't know, chicken and some other seasoning. You have to have it with this punch too, it's delicious!"

He lifts a bottle of green liquid.

"No. Thanks anyway Zack."

"You sure? Why?"

"I just have a... premonition."

"Whatever you say."

We walked on, talking about school and random things, but soon we passed by a kid doubled over in pain. A couple of my friends kneel down to pick him up, but he turns around and jabs at one, barely missing. His face is in a snarl and his body looks engorged with fluid. Next to him is a shattered bottle, and we quickly put the pieces together.

"Guys, we need to get outta here.

"But I ate and drank that crap! What's gonna happen to me and Gloria? There's even more people in this school who ate this stuff!"

"No clue, just run!"

We end up sprinting out of the school and catching a car ride to the city. On the way we saw some violent things happening including stabbings and robberies, all done by mad people plump with fluid. Me, Zack, Nick, and Glo hop off the cab and find our way into an abandoned warehouse complex and make our way inside one of the buildings. Apparently this warehouse stored guns, there were plenty hanging around, but I hid most of them, knowing that Zack and Glo could go wild at anytime. I decided I could sneak Nick a weapon if necessary, and picked myself up a shotgun. I pull up a news article on my phone that reported a mass outbreak of mutated human beings as a result of a chemical substance that altered the external cells of the body. Pictures showed people with glassy skin, various different enlarged body types and other nasty stuff. I tell Zack and Glo to go up to the roof and lock themselves out until morning, and me and Nick will go to sleep hidden, guns by our sides.

[Dream POV shifts to 3rd Person]
It's daybreak, and on the roof lie two shattered bottles, no Zack or Glo to be found. Panning around, a large amount of vines are hanging off the edge, whereas two large craters remain on an adjacent edge. One roof over, a humanoid clad tightly of thorns and leaves is strutting atop the roof, hooking her vines to the ground every step of the way.

(Much less exposed)


On another, a Hulkish monster walks with his fists across the top of the roof, crushing the ground and anything in his path, stopping only to jump on the next roof.


[At this point I woke up, pretty depressing ]

.

I am home searching for something on the internet, do a RC while typing and become lucid. Alright I should go do goals… but, feeling a bit lazy, will just check the internet and play with the world.

Use the computer to connect with other computers and then start to connect them through a barrier, make it blue so people get freaked out or amazed, whatever happens first. When I am done suck in everyone on the planet to a game world and start to create a story, too many characters with slightly over 7 billions… alright catastrophe time!

Make it rain fire and other stuff, as people die they are taken out from the game but they can’t do normal activities until someone wins, wish I was there to see the end of the game but woke up while some aliens were invading oh well.

Back to sleep.

I am inside this big room, do a RC and become lucid while searching for an exit… why do I always find a way to escape in every dream? Sure thing I want to go home or out but yeah this is weird, maybe could use that as a new RC, but nah.

Punch a hole in the wall and then see something akin to the sky, but that is impossible clouds can’t sustain a house this big or heavy, just jump out hoping to fall but apparently this was built by someone to reflect the sky, boring.

Fly over to cloud-height and then look down, wonder who did that. Some old man shows up and points up, he is about to go crazy, guess I can grant his wish? Let him fly and then watch how he stupidly tries to reach my height and then go further, he is a human and will freeze to death oh well, at least he had a happy face while falling down.

Back to sleep.

I am walking around, do a RC and become lucid then start to think about my goals “Dang it…” should have worked on them earlier but have yet to do anything, I start to feel all lazy and guilty and now I don’t want to met either Jack Frost or Nathan, but I should really go watch them what to do!

Just teleport inside the TV and wait there that nothing will happen, not like it matters much since I am in a dream and all… oh I could just lie about being non-lucid for the whole night and then get away with it, that sounds like a good plan? No wait, these are MY dreams, why the heck would I ever need to lie about them!

Go out of the TV and decide to just leave them for tomorrow, will go play with something for now. Fly out of the house and lift a few cities then switch them around, it is kind of funny to watch the reactions of the people.

Back to sleep.

I am at this weird island, wonder how I got here? Try to search for my cell-phone but don’t have it with me, some false memories of waking up someone winning a travel over to Hawaii and what not come, I just RC like normal because my mind is known for playing pretty awesome tricks on me.

Alright then this is a dream, sand on my feet uh? Mold the sand onto a castle and then see how some kind of cannon destroys my castle, the hell this was Hawaii? Look around and see a lot of people showing up at the shore, they are afraid of something but still want to see, enhance my sight and use scan for watching, some kind of monster is coming from the sea.

I think the thing is a giant turtle and it got some creatures on top of it that make water bullets, they throw more at us, don’t really mind the massacre but did they have to destroy my castle? Use telepathy and tell them to stop attacking my castle as I bring it back but they don’t hear me out.

Teleport to the water and then wait for more attacks to come, teleport sand in front of me and make sand-shields to deflect their water bullets, when the sand is muddy enough start to form whips with it and then fly over to the turtle, take out all the creatures using the whips and TK, they don’t want to do this but oh well.

Back to sleep.

I am in this kind of cave, but there is a lot of light? Do a RC and become lucid then wander towards the light, hmm it is a bit strange inside this cave, can see the roof moving or something, touch it and then water starts to leak in, oh this is a cave in the ocean.

Take away my hand and the thing becomes stable again, now then wonder what I am doing in here. Really should go and do my goals but still feeling lazy. Start to question myself and just stay sitting in the dream and doing nothing at all for a good 10 minutes or so.

Finally get up all angry and go over to the water and fly up, once I am filled with water transform my body so I can breathe underwater and then start to search for anyone who may have put me in there. Instead though it looks like the program did it, why wasn’t I teleported back to another world then? Some ocean creatures start to attack me, modify my body again so the incredibly pressure won’t kill me and just swim down to where the kraken and other red fish won’t find me.

I obviously completely forgot about the abyss creatures and how they are far more dangerous than the ones that get light, notice this error when something big eats me whole, teleport out of its mouth and use blue light since they can’t see it, wow that thing could eat a whole house! It just continues to try eating me and I continue to evade, something shots some red-beams and the blue light turns another color, some other stuff shows up… wow this looks beautiful, make myself intangible and then appreciate the spectacle before waking up.

Back to sleep.

I am sitting next to a chair, do a RC and become lucid then get off the chair, go over to the door and open it just to feel scared by the height, this is at least 2 or 3 kilometers tall, don’t like it much but oh well.

Jump down and while free falling see something strange, some kind of tribe or militia is attacking a forest? Not in front of me, grow slightly small claws and then use them to stay on the wall and watch, someone lifts up a weapon and shots so teleport the gun behind him and look at the guy die, they all start to freak out and think someone is attacking them, scan the place and their reason for doing this is that they decided this would be the place for the war between two countries to happen, yeah because the wasteland at the other mountain is not good enough?

Apparently these people don’t like to fight in wastelands because it is easier to target and thus guns become too buff, yeah like I care. Scream and use my sound waves to resonate with the cages, the animals that get taken out are to be sold for stupid reasons too so no won’t be happening. The cages break and they decide to shot at the non-humans, teleport down there and look at the soldiers “Got a problem?” they tell me that the other militia will get here soon and they don’t have time to lose now that the cages were lost, I just grow proper claws and stab the two behind me then throw them away “Good, that saves me the trouble of going to them”.

They start to shot so I teleport the bullets to their heads, flawless victory I would say. The others show up and see me there standing alone “Only one is alive!” they say and start to shot, not quite.

Whisper some stuff and make a sound-shield around, when they shot compress the bullets using the shield and then use super-gravity on them, throw the bullets and then take off the gravity and make the one in the center explode using the saved force, everyone is annihilated, make sure that nobody will ever think of doing something as stupid ever again in here, give guardianship to one monkey in the place.

Back to sleep.

I am at this very big building, do a RC while trying to get on the elevator but it isn’t working for some reason. Once lucid decide to just jump down again, but then some agent-smith like people show up.

I just stare at them and wonder if they are trying to block me from jumping down? Well I can just go through the stairs right. Go over to the stairs and see some of these going up… alright guys I am getting angry, procrastination is strong in my today but will play with these kids, hopefully they are a few times stronger than the movie one.

Go over to the ones on the windows and look up at them “Alright I am going” and continue to walk, one of them touches my shoulder so put his hand away and dive claws on his stomach, the others start to attack so teleport behind them and stab them again with claws, throw all 5 bodies to the ones in the stairs and then jump off the window, they follow.

As they are going to get me I just use TK to stab them with the windows and then drop a nuke on the building… teleport out of the radius of explosion then modify body to not get affected by the radiation or the heat, well that was boring need someone strong to fight against, walk over to the next city and take a bus back home.

took:
- no 5-HTP before going to sleep
- no galantamine + choline (continuing the 1 day on 1 day off cycle)
- no Piracetam when I got up
lucid dreaming: 0 lucid experiences
note:
- been trying out different ways to WILD

15.01.2013

Mind controlling shade (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was in a big room, inside a tall building. The room decor was very plain, with pale yellows and blues. I awakened within the dream and realized that someone was trying to control my mind. I was being controlled by Darkness somehow and I was in some sort of trance, but I was awakening.

There were a few earthquakes that helped me realize I was being controlled. I realized that if I stepped into the Light, this dark force would weaken and suddenly vanish. I tried to turn the lights on inside the rooms, but they did not work. I kept running around the different rooms around the house. The house had almost no furniture and I was trying to open windows since it was day outside. I could see a shade behind me, trying to attach to my aura. I noticed that it was very bright outside so I wanted to leave the building. The door to exit my apartment looked from the 15th century. It was hand carved with golden handles and a very heavy door. I opened the door and left.

I started running down the stairs, and while I was doing it, I observed how it started to get dark. I was surprised because it was like midday. I realized the shade was darkening the sun to avoid my scape. When I exited the building, it was like late evening, almost completely dark and the street lamps were lit. I could see small dots of light on the ground, so I did my best to step on them. The darker it got, the heavier my trance was, so I needed to avoid dark at all costs. I realized I was very powerful and if the shade controlled me, it would mean trouble.

Running down the street, I saw a Catholic church. The door was also similar to the one at my apartment. I entered the Catholic chuch and hoped the shade could not enter it. Inside the church, I noticed that a lot of white lights were illuminating the entire church, which was great. The altar was made out of wood and the Father was giving the mass. Everybody was sitting down on plastic chairs (instead of the regular wooden benches) People was doing some sort of work with Tarot Cards and other spiritual objects. I believe there were also mediumship readings taking place.

I was able to sense the shade's energy, even that I was not directly affected, I was weakening very slowly. There was not enough light. I needed some sort of healing. I asked a lady and she said, "The children can help you." At the bottom of the church, I noticed children working with crafts and crayons. I approached and I said I needed help to destroy the energetic link the dark entity created with me. One children placed his hands on my head and told me I was being released from negativity.

I felt cleared and I felt my energy coming back to me. I was going to leave church, as I figured a Psychic Medium was not going to be welcomed (even though Psychic/Mediumship was taking place in the church, I was somehow blending reality) But an old lady gave me a bad look. I look at the Father and he was about to request a donation. I believed it was right to give a donation, so I puilled some coins and bills from my pocket and placed them in the basket. I sat in the bench (yes, the white chairs morphed into benches) and started to listen to the Father.

I started to feel the shade pressuring my back. I was worried that the child's healing would not work. An old lady started to build a small city with sticks in front of me. For some reason, I felt it was going to be a portal to escape the shade.

I had a FA in my room and I was wondering if the shade was still around, but I realized I was not longer in the dream. I was able to feel my cat sleeping on my back and I realized that she has been sleeping on my back for a while. I started to fall asleep within my dream, and worried that my cat would induce the shade once again.

I had another FA and it was time to get started. I told my wife about the dream I had and told her that the cat was not stepping away from my back. I stood up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. I told my wife that the cat was still attached to my back, even after standing up. I wondered how that was possible.

I woke up for real. My cat was still sleeping on my back (she climbed my back before I felt asleep and this dream happened)

I remember walking towards a room in a building, to "investigate" something (my recall was a bit fuzzy during the non-lucid part). It was a two story building, with an opening to the first floor in the center, kind of like a shopping mall. I had these keys in my pocket, and they kept duplicating, which I think was part of the thing I was supposed to investigate. As I was walking towards the end of the hallway thing, it became completely enclosed (you couldn't see down to the first floor anymore) and the walls were covered completely in religious scriptures. And as I got closer to the end where it turned right into a room, the architecture of the building kept CHANGING, and the text on the walls was moving around.

Right as I got to the end and turned into the room, my vision suddenly flashed for a second, and all I could see were lines and lines of strange symbols (almost like the hallucinations in the Dead Space games). Right at that point, I realized that I was dreaming, and did an RC (nose plug) to test, and became lucid.

Naturally, I was kind of freaking out about the really demonic events happening, and right as two people that looked like missionaries walked up, I thought "oh crap, what if they're demons instead!" No points for guessing what happened next. They suddenly got bright red eyes and snake tongues, and started walking towards me.

I just thought to myself "nope nope nope, just a dream, no demons here," and they returned to their human forms, but still surrounded me and tried to keep me from moving away. I just pointed at each of them, and said "you're gone, you're gone, you're gone, and you're gone," and they all just disappeared.

I turned around to exit the room, and instead of the wall that should have been there I was walking into a large lobby/lounge area, full of people and with huge windows on the far wall. I looked around in the crowd, and thought to myself about how I could make someone appear. As I was thinking about that, out of the corner of my eye I saw this girl I've been interested in just walking around with everyone else. I walked up, said hi, then just grabbed her and started doing the deed on one of the couches in the lounge (hey, no judging, everyone's tried it, right?). I started with foreplay, but when things got to the point of actual penetration, things got weird. She got hesitant, and every time I looked away she would wind up dressed again. Eventually I gave up, and walked off.

At that point, details get a bit fuzzy. I remember trying to make a phone call, but the phone was acting "weird" and wouldn't do what I wanted. At one point I was afraid I accidentally called my cousin, but wound up talking to a friend with the same name. I might have lost control around this point, I'm not too sure. Right after the phone call, I suddenly woke up and everything ended.

Bedtime: 23:20
First wakeup (alarm): 05:30 (dream)
Second wakeup: 05:57

Supplements: 200mg L-theanine


Counter-Strike 1.6 (DREAM)
I was with an old friend of mine named Robin. We was playing counter-strike 1.6, not on the computer, but like in real life.
I started on a high construction building with an AWP (sniper). By the way, the area reminded of de_dust theme, it was desert etc in it. It was only me and my friend. My friend was running around on the ground, probably a 300 meters away? But right before I was about to shoot him, the game restarted and I was suddenly on the ground.
I didn't walk far until I had to go away from keyboard. I was just standing there, total still seeing 2 of my friends with AWP's while I only had a normal gun (USP possible?). Maybe a 10 seconds later I was back, I made something called bunnyjumps while I prayed in my head not to get shot.
But none of them did shoot.

Suddenly, dream changes and we're now more people. But this time it's more like hide and seek.
I walk towards that brown door and climb up so I can see over to the other side. But right behind me and about 1 meter up, I see a dude sitting there.
We're like 3 teams, and I see another friend that is in another team, he isn't shooting me, but telling me o shoot this guy on the other team.


And there the dream ends.

Before I begin this, I'll provide some much-needed context for you fine readers. I have been dreaming lucidly since I was eight after an accidental experience of dream control, and have been doing so on a nightly basis since I was ten, nearly eleven. Since that time (I am now seventeen, will be eighteen in July), my capabilities and understanding of my dream world had expanded to such a degree that I'm more comfortable in dreaming than I am when I am awake. Recently, though (about 2 and a half weeks ago in real world time, to be exact), I was killed in a dream by something that I cannot remember, and have forgotten everything about my dream world that I did not write down anywhere in the real world. My dream logs from a psychology assignment from sophomore year have been instrumental in my re-learning of this separate reality of mine, and I hope you enjoy reading about my experience as much as I enjoy being able to undertake it. Unfortunately, I don't think I have enough time in the day to be able to write out the full extent of my dreams, but I will try and get down as much as I can as regularly as I can.
At the present day, I have gone to a school for the disabled called Yamaku, which is the setting of a semi-popular visual novel called Katawa Shoujo (which I recommend to anybody who enjoys a good read, and a heart-wrenching, immersion-filled story). I have been associating myself mainly with the characters of said visual novel, but a few people from my real life are also present. Not to mention, other fictional characters. This is perceived entirely in the third dimension; my mind has successfully (albeit subconsciously) rendered even two-dimensional, cartoon characters into something that may as well exist in the real world.

(Day 1 of 2)

I'm beginning to become accustomed to the pasty walls of the nurse's office. It's a little comforting to be able to wake up in an environment where I don't feel like an odd-ball. I turned onto my side to get a look at Misha's cot and say "good morning" to her, but she was still out like a light. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, in addition to working herself way more than necessary, she got herself a punctured lung... her and her confidence, I guess. I hope she turns out okay; Hanako was going absolutely nuts over the subject last night. With a half-concerned/half-disappointed sigh, I stood myself out of bed and headed out for breakfast. Thankfully, the nurse wasn't there this morning, so his usually intrusive behavior didn't happen either. That was refreshing.

Nothing particularly interesting happened on the way over. Nothing really happened in the lunch line either, except for Seiji venting to me about a very low grade that he had gotten on his most recent history test. He almost whacked Maro in the face when he threw back his arms in disgust, and I have to admit that holding back a few chuckles was not as easy as one would think. Once I got my food, I decided that the obnoxious clamor of everyone else was a bit much for me; plus, Lilly wasn't even there early like she usually was, neither was Kenji (though I don't think I'm unhappy about THAT one).

Instead, I chose to wander the halls of the school. I mean, they won't let me take classes there anyway, so it's not like I'd have sounded weird if I told someone (honestly, mind you) that I was exploring the building. Only as I was going up and down the corridors did I notice the feeling of similarity that was EVERYWHERE. Everything feels so... plain. With the exception of one or two things, of course; that painting on the third floor is still really abstract in an intriguing manner, and the library still has a characteristic smell that can only really be found in a library.

On the bright side, the people at Yamaku are anything but dull. I peered into a few classrooms, but there were just teachers getting ready for the day to begin in a short while. Mr. Nomiya had a furrowed brow, though, and was grumbling something into his cell phone. For some reason, I get the sense that he was gesticulating stupidly before I had looked, or had slammed his fist on the desk a few times, or... something. Nomiya is "out there," to say the least. Rin, unable to use the art room while Nomiya was on a call, had sat herself on the staircase to the roof. I tried starting a conversation with her, but trying to make small talk with Rin is like trying to teach astrophysics to a paperclip. Bored out of my skull, I decided that it was time to get less public and have some fun. It was raining out, but hey, things that super humans do look cooler in the rain, right?

Much to my surprise, I bumped (literally) into Hanako and Lilly when I carelessly darted out the door at the bottom of the roof's stairwell. They were on their way to class, which I thought was odd at first because of the 15-minute wait until the day began, but then I remembered that this was Hanako I was talking to. Fifteen minutes of barely any interaction were fifteen blissful minutes to be cherished. I couldn't help but smile to them when I realized that she [Hanako] was finally coming out of her shell with people other than Lilly and I (Hisao doesn't count, because he's really become more an extension of Lilly as of late (that being said... now that I think about it, why the heck wasn't he there with her?)). Since I've seen other people write down their exchanges with people in dreams, I suppose I will too.

"Hi Connor," Hanako whimpered, a faint smile visible on her face despite her best efforts to conceal her scarred face with a look to the floor tiles. I raised my hand in greeting, then fought off the urge to slap myself for doing so while Lilly was there. Stupid, stupid behavior...
"Oh, hello Connor," Lilly followed up, making no attempt to conceal the warm grin that she wore for most every conversation. I suppose that if you're blind, and you have no way to tell what you look like, maintaining an expression that is generally perceived as positive when you display it must have some type of positive reinforcement behind it. I almost waved at her, but stopped myself. It may have been a week since I've gotten here, but I'm still not used to someone not being able to see me.
"Hey guys," I answered casually, keeping about two feet (I think) of distance between us. I didn't really intend to keep a conversation going, but I like these two, so I let a little small talk slide. "How come you missed breakfast this morning?"
While Hanako was mumbling to herself, trying to think up a good way to word up an explanation, Lilly took the reins instead. She lifted her chin slightly before telling me, "Oh, we didn't miss it. We simply didn't attend." I think my silence may as well have served as the equivalent of a blank stare, since she went on to clarify after a few seconds that, "Hanako wanted to try her hand at making something."
Impressed, if not surprised, I gave Hanako some praise, only to witness her cheeks redden ever so slightly. She doesn't do this quite so often in my presence anymore, but complement her on anything besides her grades or friends and she'll turn red as a cherry tomato.
Not wanting to make my scarred friend any more embarrassed, I decided to let this be the end. We said our goodbyes, and our see-you-laters, and I resumed my route to the outside.

The rain felt good against my skin and clothes. It was a refreshing chill at first, but then became a wetness that made me feel... tranquil. Like everything would flow through my days with as much uninterrupted carefulness as the droplets on my fingertips. I'll not go on too great a tangent though; this is a journal, not a novel. My plan for the day was simple: a few minutes of practice with accuracy, speed and control, alternating between the three with two minute breaks after every completed set.

Woods being nearby the campus is such a convenience. For the 6 - 7 hours of schooling, while everyone is stuck with their noses in textbooks, I'm out jumping from branch to branch on the trees, cutting through whatever sized rocks I can manage and practicing "supernatural" powers - stuff like energy beams and teleportation. The raindrops felt like pins and needles while I was jumping around, never mind the occasional branch that I was stupid enough to whack myself against. I spent a good while in there, just practicing and re-practicing, but it was so boring for some reason. Normally, I can't get enough of it. This time I felt the oddest craving for interaction with my friends.

That ["friends"] being said, yes, I do call these characters made by my subconscious mind my friends. They feel just as real as anybody I've met in the real world, and I see little point in addressing them otherwise. Anywho, I found myself headed back to the main grounds before lunch had even begun. I figured Joe or Robert (to of my friends from the real world) would be lounging around doing something hilariously stupid, and I am certainly not one to object to funny stupid behavior. Even if they were nowhere to be found, I wouldn't have minded popping in to see if Misha was feeling okay anyways.

Emi, careless as always, was running about the track when I reached it. She was operating with so little regard for the weather making her t-shirt very see-through, as well as the fact that she was ditching class. Of course, me being stupid little old me, I couldn't help but go on over to ask what on Earth she was doing. She didn't even realize I was there, since she was so focused on her running. If she did, she certainly didn't want to talk to me, though I don't think Emi would be the person to purposely not talk to someone even if she hated their guts. For a moment, I briefly considered showing her the speeds I was capable of running at, but decided against it. Last thing I need Is Emi Ibarazaki clinging to my side like I'm her idol...

I left the track without a word before she was around the other end of the track so that she would have no chance to see me if she hadn't already. Evidently it worked, because there was no call back. By now, I have a pretty good mental map of the campus, so I didn't mind looking down while I walked to admire the pretty sight of the wet grass. Again, I felt that calm feeling pass over me and relaxed a great deal. The weather had changed to a much lighter drizzle not too long before, which meant that tilting my head down let the drops of water sprinkle onto my neck. It got me to shiver once before I was comfortable with it, and for a moment, I didn't want to lift my head because of it. An accidental bump into the side of the medical building convinced me to shut my desires up, though.

Since I was already there, I went into the brick building and proceeded to the nurse's office that I had become so familiarized with over my week's stay. Three cots from my own, Misha stirred uncomfortably when she noticed my presence. She was awake, but she certainly didn't look like she wanted to be. She forced a weak smile at me, making me feel guilty that I hadn't been able to do anything to help her condition. I sat on a chair near her side, as close as possible without making for an awkward air so that she wouldn't feel any need to raise her voice.

"You're here early," She whispered out as she exhaled. That made sense. Apparently there's a brain hiding behind the cover of those drills of hers, and it really functions. She was whispering so that she didn't have to waste breath on speech; she was still taking the same breaths as before, sacrificing only a bit of volume. Which, given our distance and the emptiness of the room, wasn't much of a problem.
I nodded and placed my palm on her forehead, which I (for some reason) had expected to feel hot, but actually felt just fine even though my hands had been made cold by the weather outside. "Yeah," I confirmed, "it was a boring day. Thought I'd come say hi, and... just check on you."
Misha smiled again, but this one looked genuine. Shizune wasn't able to be around much anymore, thanks to classes, so any meaningful interaction was well met with her. I expect that this is where her characteristic "Wahaha~!" would have come in if she hadn't had the sense to preserve her oxygen. Her head slowly shifted in place, nuzzling affectionately against my palm in thanks. "I'm fine," she assured me, taking in a slightly deeper breath so that she could fit more into her next sentence. "Is Shizune doing well in *inhale* her classes? *inhale* Do you know?"
"Nah, no idea," I regrettably declared with a shake of my head. "Haven't really been able to talk to her much, since... well, you know."
She shrugged and rolled her eyes as though she were disappointed in herself for having asked such a silly question. I suspect she's so used to being able to understand Shizune that even if she is a translator, she forgets that others don't know sign language so well. Even if she wanted to talk to her, it'd be a lot of effort on Misha's part unless she took things very slowly. I briefly considered telling Misha that I've been trying to learn what signs I can, but decided not to. I don't want to accidentally assure her of more than is possible. "I'm sure she's do- *inhale* doing just fine. *Inhale* She's top of the c-.. *inhale* class, after all."
Well, she was right about that. From what I know of her, Shizune more than likely brags about her marks at whatever opportunity she can get. I can't help but chuckle once at this, resulting in another uplifting smile from Misha. As it turns out, she's very nice to talk to when she isn't screaming and "wahaha~ing" at you without realizing the obnoxiousness of such actions.

If I wrote out the rest of our half-hour long conversation, this would become a very long post, so I will stop there. At about 1 PM, when classes were almost out, I began to pace about the entrance of the main building to wait for someone to hang out with. Not long after, the bells began to clang, and I could just barely hear the loud exodus of every student from his/her class in near-unison. I also imagined that Lilly and Hanako would probably be leaving after plenty of the others had cleared out. I felt/feel like I should have probably taken that into consideration, but then an idea popped into my head. I walked into the sea of teenagers and navigated my way beside the doors, waiting for Shizune to pass. Misha had made me feel sorry for the two of them; separation from one's closest friend when they're a 5-minute walk away must be a dreadful feeling. Eventually, I spotted her dark blue hair among the crowd of heads, reached in, and pulled her out as gently as I could by the arm. She was going to slap me, but I put my hand over her wrist before she could.

Hilariously enough, Shizune's hands began flailing about in her practiced methods of communication that were futile on just about everybody who wasn't deaf (not to mention Lilly). I held up a finger to tell her to stop, which worked after a moment, then reached forward and tapped on her binder. I mimicked an opening book with my hands, and she got the message. She must've known what I was thinking, because she tore a paper from her notebook and began writing down on it. With a force that was way more than necessary, she thrust out her arm and dangled the paper before my face. I took it from her calmly, though I couldn't escape how odd her need to be so assertive was.
"What in the name of all that is logical could possibly have been so urgent as to require you manually pick me out from a crowd??" I could almost hear a chastising voice behind the scribbling on the sheet, which made it feel all the sillier when I looked up and saw Shizune's face puffed up and red. I took my time writing down my response to aggravate her, knowing fully well that she was probably staring over my shoulder while I was doing so.
"Calm down, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come and see Misha with me. I'm going to see if Hanako and Lilly want to come too."
"I'll go with you, but please try and find some way to tell Lilly when I'm talking with Misha so that I won't be interrupted and irritated. That's the last thing she needs."
"Yeah, I will. You're right."
With a final nod of parting, Shizune followed the crowd out to the yard and went to the medical building while I stood in wait for Hanako, Lilly and Hisao. They didn't show up for some time, and I was left pacing for a bit until I took it upon myself to go looking. My first guess was that they would be in the tea room, but that guess was incorrect. Knowing that only one possibility remained, I went into the library for my second time. Sure enough, the three of them were having a very awkward conversation with Yuuko. (God, she's such a mess.) Or at least, Lilly and Hisao were. Hanako had been searching about the shelves, and reacted immediately to the door's opening by turning and waving sheepishly. I waved my hand like I was doing a mind trick in return.

The rest of the details from this point to the medical building are unimportant and uninteresting, so I will skip over them.

We quietly entered the office (except for Lilly, who had an uncharacteristic stumble when she knocked her foot against Shizune's books on the floor) to find Misha and Shizune writing notes back and forth. Once Misha noticed the three of us coming in, she looked up at us and prompted Shizune to do the same with a raising of her finger. Both of them were smiling, which was very nice to see. Such things feel like they're becoming more of a rarity for everyone... which is sort of sad, now that I think about it.

And of course my train of thought now turns to Hanako, who had just been taking a turn for the better. All of a sudden, now that she's being as open as she is, everything goes to crap. That attack a few days ago changed these people. So much fear is inside these walls, and I'm supposed to be the saving grace of all of this uncertain air. I think people here are having a hard time smiling because they know almost as well as I do that all I can do is soften the blows, not deflect them. Still, they give me this look of confidence that kills me on the inside. Especially Hanako's... I know I've shown her how to keep herself safe (barriers, jumping, etc), but it just doesn't feel like enough. Hell, a few tricks like those weren't enough to keep Misha from being harmed. If anything, they were what gave her the overconfidence to challenge something well beyond the whole lot of us. I've got to get stronger, I've got to re-learn my strength faster, for their sake.

Anyways, that was quite the tangent. It's relevant, though, so I'll keep it in here.
Misha made a few quick signs that got Shizune to hand over the paper. The weakened movements of Misha's hand were so depressing to witness. She took about forty seconds to write out her message, then handed it over to Shizune, who handed it to Hisao after a quick scan of the words.
"Hey, guys," Hisao read aloud in a soft crackling voice, broken by the lump in his throat that didn't want to let him tear up, "I'm happy you all came to see me. Wasn't expecting it."
At first, it didn't make sense why Misha had wrote down the words when the four of us could hear her. Then it occurred to me that she had become so accustomed to translating for Shizune that it had probably become a priority for her. This was both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.
Hisao started to say "We're happy to see you too," but I cut him off and took the paper from his hand. I wrote down the response that he was going to give, and handed it to Shizune, who handed it in turn to Misha after a quick read. I think Misha knew why I was doing it, which made it slightly satisfying when she flashed me a grateful smile before she took the page in her hand. I winked at her to acknowledge that her suspicion was true, which only made her lips curve wider. She read my response aloud, wrote down hers, handed it to Hisao through Shizune, and he read hers. Occasionally, Lilly would speak, and Hanako would write for her. We continued the rest of the conversation this way, and I couldn't help but feel a little tingly on the inside while we were.
"So, Shizune, what's it like being the student council?" -Hisao
"Very funny. If you must know, I'm so stressed that I'm surprised my veins haven't exploded thanks to high blood pressure." -Shizune
"I'm so sorry to hear that." -Lilly, through Hanako
"Why? It's exhilarating." -Shizune (this got a good laugh out of us all)
"You're f**king weird, dude, you know that?" -Me
"Connor! Language~!" -Misha
"It's anglo-saxon, if you must know. By the way, I can't beLIEVE that you wrote the tilde." -Me
"I can't 'beLIEVE' you called me a 'dude!'" -Shizune

Yes, the entire conversation was done in this manner, and I can honestly say that this was the happiest moment that the six of us have ever served together. No fear, no anxiety, no vein-bursting blood pressure, just laughs, note-passing and tildes. We stayed in that room writing to each other for the next three hours. If the nurse hadn't told us (well, everyone but me) that we were overstaying our welcome, we probably would have continued until Shizune's notebook was totally empty.

On our way out, we wound up splitting - Hanako and I together, Lilly and Hisao together, and Shizune by her lonesome. We said our merry farewells, and I took Hanako to her room while Hisao took Lilly to his (though I suspect his intentions were much different than mine). We spent a minute or two getting ourselves in comfortable positions on the ground, then prepared for a night of games. Playing cards, chessboards and even a backgammon set were laid about the floor around us. We played a long game of chess (which I lost embarrassingly), four or five games of War 2.0 (a card game that I made up in the seventh grade), and only one particularly boring round of backgammon. As it turns out, neither of us were good OR entertained at that game.
Since it was about 7:30, I decided to take my leave. It had been a fun day, but all of that thinking earlier made my brain want to rest itself. Incidentally, that wasn't a very good combination with the short practice session that I had had in the morning (I say short, but it felt like hours). I hugged Hanako goodbye very briefly, then wasted no time getting back to the nurse's office. I had expected Misha to be asleep, so had she, but apparently she wasn't. Maybe it was because she had slept in, and I just hadn't known about it. Either way, I hardly said two words beyond hellos before letting my head drop to the pillow and drifting off to sleep.
Interesting concept, going to sleep to wake up.

Now, it has taken me approximately three and a half hours to write all of this out, so I do not think I will be able to document the second dream. With any luck, I will increase my typing speed and be more able to get more content down in the future, but for now I must stop. I hope this has been an interesting experience to read, at the very least.

non lucid
*Barack Obama I'm mixed black and white.
*Walking through an asian adoption center.

Dream recall fails me again, so i only remember stuff near the dream end.

I was in some sort of the castle, there were some sort of outside part of a castle which had lab on it. It was connected to the castle with sort of drawbridge. When i got into it the viewpoint switched and i was controlling some other character with Resident Evil 4 like controls, i remember killing a few zombies then viewpoint got back to first person. I grabbed something from the lab and went back to the castle.
In some other room in the castle there was PC, i played some Warzone 2100 on it, apparently it worked somewhat different then original, scavengers were more overpowered and i apparently had view over the whole map. After a while all the bases turned into something like scavenger base and the graphics were glitched, unit models were getting occasionally replaced by building models, also i was building random walls in some places for no reason.
Don't remember if i won or lost, but i went back to the lab. I collected some items: some sort of pill from the pile of pills, big sort of beaker which was hidden under some boxes and some sort of solid brown liquid/jello thingie which was hidden in one of boxes. Also i moved some really huge beaker to the entrance to block it off, but some sort of girl apparently managed to jump through window. She was interested in what i was doing and i decided to tell her about what i was doing(don't remember what exactly but it was related to sleeping or putting someone to sleep). I was doing some stuff with items i got, also i did noticed that there are some beds scattered around the lab. Dream ends.

Dream - Lucid


I was going to my house with Caitlin and her boyfriend, Israel. I'm pretty sure my brother was there too. It was nighttime. We had apparently bought a new house, and this one was on the market or something. But Caitlin and Israel wanted to stay there and hang out all night.

When we walked in, a younger Mexican couple came in shortly after we did, and told us we needed to get out. They had a key, and let themselves in the front door. They were in charge of the house now that no one really owned it. They yelled at us for awhile, and then left.

Right after they left, I remember looking out one of the windows next to the front door. Caitlin and Israel had parked their cars on the other side of the road to make it look like they were at the neighbor's place instead of ours. I remember a white pickup truck being out there.

Of course, we didn't leave. Caitlin and Israel gamed in the living room, and I went upstairs to my room to try to sleep. All the furniture was still there, my bed included. I slid my sleeping mask over my eyes, and tried to sleep, hoping that if the Mexican couple came back, they would take pity on us because I was trying so hard to get some rest. I tossed and turned (which is exactly what happened last night IWL).

Then, two little Mexican girls climbed into bed with me. I was happy to have them there. I figured that now the couple could never kick us out, seeing that there were small children here.

Morning then started to break, and only one child was there now, curled up under the covers. Though now, she wasn't a child, but a kitten, a white, fluffy kitten resembling my waking life cat, Belle. I remember seeing her fluffy tail poking out and waving. It was kind of like she was still the girl, but in a kitten's body? I dunno, it's hard to describe.

I then noticed that the little girls were playing a joke on me. They put up these really inappropriate posters on my walls of naked, HUGE women (they sort of resembled Jabba the Hutt they were so huge). One had speech bubbles coming from the mouths of the women. It was supposed to be funny, though I don't remember what it said. I was really concerned that the Mexican couple would come and see. I told the girls to take them down. They ripped the one with the speech bubbles off the wall, tearing it down the middle, leaving the side scraps taped to the wall. Underneath it was a fat, cartoon vagina.

I then had a thought to myself "This is a dream". Wait. This is a dream! I floated up from my bed, and saw some posters above my bed. I decided to phase through the wall to see where it would take me, though I didn't really think about the destination; I was a bit hasty with that decision. I just ended up back in my room after easily phasing through the wall.

Well, I thought to myself, I better think this through. I then really noticed one of the posters above my bed. One was of a bald, younger black man with lighter-colored skin trapped inside a crystal (it looked like the crystals you can break in Super Mario Galaxy, which I have been playing a LOT of lately). I decided to try to phase through to see what kind of world he was in. First, though, I tried to interact with him. I put my hand up to the crystal, and he did the same, and smiled at me. I started to phase through, and I went somewhere VERY briefly, though I can't remember any details because I either woke up or went into another, non-lucid dream.

~

I was in a math class with a woman teaching. We were finding number patterns. For every one that we found, the teacher would give us a $50 check. I remember we were asked to find a sequence, and I was writing it down in pencil, and I raised my hand to give the complete sequence, which happened to be the numbers 1-16, in order. I was writing the sequence down on a white envelope that had been torn open. I can clearly remember writing the numbers down, correctly and in order, despite dreams liking to mix things like these up. I received a check for $50.

~

I was now in a doctor's office or hospital, though it did not resemble one. I'm not sure why I was there. There was a man there too, who was getting worked on before me. A nurse then came in and examined my foot. She took a silver tool that resembled pliers/some sort of clamp, clamped it on my big toe, and squeezed down, cracking my toenail, which had old, lighter-colored blue nail polish on it. It took me a second to realize exactly what she was doing, because she offered no explanation beforehand; she just did it.

"Are you removing my toenail??" I asked, taken aback.
"Yes," she replied.
"Why? It's going to hurt isn't it?"
She replied, saying that removing the nail would make something easier, though I can't remember what.
I then said back, very upset,
"I don't want you to do that. Fix it! Fix it!!! There's no reason for this!"

But it was too late; the nail was cracked in three places. I removed my foot from her grasp and refused to let her remove the nail.

I then went on to a psychology class I was apparently taking. A friend was there with me, though I can't remember whom, or if it was someone I even really know IWL. The teacher was female, and she started to lecture, giving us the definition of psychology. I figured i should take notes. I scrambled through my things, looking for a sheet of paper. I realized I was so not prepared for this class. All the paper I had didn't have lines, and there were very few sheets anyway. I started to write, in orange highlighter, on the inside spine of a black and grey fabric trapper keeper. I write in huge letters, and spelled psychology "Psychollogy". I was desperately trying to keep up with her as she lectured.

The class ended shortly after, since it was only the very first day of classes. I couldn't remember if I had another class after that or not (in the dream, it was Thursday, the day school starts back up again IWL). I was going through my things again, looking for my schedule. But I just couldn't find it. I racked my brain trying to figure it out, and thought that maybe I had chemistry afterwards. I then remembered a dream memory like it was real life; I had dreamed that I had another chem class, and I skipped most of the classes (I did actually dream this once; in my dreams, I remember many dream memories as if they really happened). I thought that I had tried to take chemistry 3 different times.

I then was looking through a book I had, and I found many $50 bills tucked away inside its pages. I also found a fake-looking $20 bill that had a blank back side to it. I remembered the math class. I suppose I had forgotten about the money. I figured I should put it in the bank.

~

I was in my room, laying in bed. It was morning, and I could hear my brother talking to my mom. My brother was supposed to be out of town with his girlfriend, so I figured something must had happened with them.

I was then at my brother and I's friend Charles's house. I walked in the kitchen where Charles was, which looked different than his waking life kitchen, mostly because it looked like it was on the opposite end of the house, and my brother was there too, along with another person, I think it was supposed to be Charles's little brother (he doesn't have one IWL). Blake (my brother) was talking to Charles about what happened with his girlfriend, but when he saw me, he stopped talking. I asked them what was going on, and my brother just held up his hand to me like he wasn't going to tell me. I guessed they needed some guy time, and I was intruding.

Charles's little brother then chimed in and said something about Blake's girlfriend situation, and either Charles or Blake told him to be quiet, or shushed him.

~

IWL I'm about to start going back to school to work on another degree, and I guess I'm a little anxious about it since I haven't been in school for over a year now. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm taking some difficult classes, I have two labs, and I'm also working part-time. Glad I got a bit of lucidity, though I'm surprised I did since my sleep has been hella fragmented lately. Hoping for some better, more restful sleep tonight.

January 14, 2012

Review: The dream starts out with us hiding from walkers. We literally shrink and find the giants of suburbia scary.

Walkers and Giants
It feels like the walking dead. Civilization has collapsed but our community remains strong. We were all hunkered down on a farm, away from the danger. Though I never saw any zombies, as the days would pass more and more people would disappear. Among the community, there were whispers of the plague worsening and that this place isn't safe.

As a group we made the decision to leave the farm and find a new place to hide in. We found a mansion. Naturally because we assumed we were the only survivors, we didn't think of it as breaking an entry. But that's when we heard the dogs.

Looking down the hallway I can see the shadows of the mansions owners as they were pampering their dogs. The whole group got silent. Theres people living here! But that wasn't why we were suddenly quiet. It was the dogs. Based on the shadow, these dogs were gigantic. We would be rag dolls in their months! But the owner was proportionate to the dogs, meaning the owners were also abnormal giants.

"What the fuck is going on?"

"How can dogs be that big?"

"Shutup or they'll hear us!"

No one wanted to disturb the giants who seemed a lot scarier than zombies. So the whole group sneaks back downstairs. We had to get through a door before reaching the ground level. The knob was squeaky.

"Did you hear that?" It was the owner talking to his dog. Based on the shadows, the owner opened his door and let his massive muts out. The group panics and now we have a mob of people trying to squish themselves through a door. "HURRY, OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Not that way, not that way! Get away from the door" I knew the owner was going to head straight for the source of the noise, the door! When I heard the giant dogs coming I ran in the opposite direction instead. I quickly ran upstairs and locked myself in a bedroom. One dog followed me. He barks and barks and pushes on the door. I could barely keep it close.

"Sweety, what are you barking at?" Its a girls voice, the daughter? He has a whole family here? As she opens the bedroom door, I just hang on for dears life on the other side. Hidden from view, she tells her mut "See? There's nothing here silly."

She closes the door nice and shut. Yes! Go! Go! Shoo! But the dog insists on barking at me. "Hmm..on second thought, maybe I should thoroughly inspect the room."

Fuck! I look around me frantically. Wait? A window? And its open! I leap out. I land in the backyard. Another giant dog chained up. But there's a normal sized horse. Another member of my group had the same idea. He mounts his stolen horse and rides away. I hop on my stolen horse and ride out in the same direction. On this rare occasion, riding a horse felt realistic.

I magically knew that the new hideout was just on the other side of the street, passed the mansions private forest. The new hideout was a, cooler? I would have to shrink just to go inside, but sis is waiting for me. I enter the new "cooler" hideout.

It was very cramped...."Is there space for me?"

"Its about time you showed up, staying with us this time?"

I couldn't make more than three steps without bumping into something. So I just chilled out by the door. I couldn't lay down, so I just slept leaning against the wall.

The next morning we woke up hearing massive footsteps outside our cooler. Its the daughter, she retrieves her horse. I'm freaking out thinking 'She's seen our cooler? Whats next?'. The group abandons the cooler and everyone goes their separate ways.

Now its just me and sis. Sis kept blabbing on and on and on and I kept telling her "shhhhh....the giants will hear us! Do you wanna be squished??" I decided to go ahead and scope out the private forest of the mansion. Maybe its large enough to hide in plain sight.

But when I scoped it out I had a horrifying realization. What I thought was a huge forest property was nothing more but a regular front yard with some scattered bushes. It only looked like a forest because for some reason we were so much tinier. Not only that, but through their yard I could see the rest of suburbia!

These folks aren't giants, they're regular sized people! We were the ones who were different. Being tiny people in suburbia seemed even scarier than giants or zombies! "We have to get out of here!"

I lead sis through suburbia desperately looking for a safe place to stay for the night. We walked through an intersection with a gas stop and a car almost ran us over! The car comes to a screeching halt.

"Woah, take a look at these cats. They're weird looking. They're hind legs are straight like people legs."

"You're right! Are those really..cats?"

What? I take a look at sis and realize - not only are we tiny, were not even human! "Come on" I lead my cat-monster-sis to some bushes that we can hide in for the rest of the night. The next day suburbia was all abuzz about these tiny monsters that have invaded town. The mansion owners released falcons to track us down. Revealing our location, the humans quickly came with their long sticks, nets and cages.

I thought about the others. How could we ever reach them or hear from them again?

Me and sis evaded the humans and ran into a real forest. We lived there for sometime, just the two of us. Then, some humans who were walking along our creek find us and threaten to skin us like animals. I get pissed off, tired of it all, and transform into a normal sized gargoyle. But before I could show those humans what a real monster looks like - I woke up.

Test test, is this post working yet?

No dreams last night.

Fragment:
I was in some kind of public swimming pool? Or something similar. It wasn't clear and this is the only thing I can think it would be.

I get to this area where some people are moving a wooden device down a hole. I decide to take a look myself, and it's a hole in the ground that's about 20 feet feet deep. Inside are bookshelves of items that people found along the way. There was this scallop shell that I really wanted. The lady there said that it was for an exhibit. I headed off (my vehicle was like some sort of motorcycle) and entered some building. It turned out to be a really expensive store for women. On my way out, I came across a blonde girl who I swore I knew (doesn't ring a bell in real life) but I was talking to her like I had some sort of science class with her...and every joke I said, she didn't get, so I sort of stopped talking to her.