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In which I stomp across a farting bean field in the nextdoor neighbor's backyard...

I jump the fence into my neighbors' backyard and am surprised that I land in shallow water. They have converted their entire yard into a rice paddy. Instead of green plants protruding to the surface, there is a layer of dried white rice carpeting the ground beneath the water. As I slosh through the field, hard rice sticks to my feet.

I look for a path to their backdoor that will cause the least damage to their crops. About halfway through their yard, I notice that I'm now walking over dried black beans also submerged in water. With each step, gas bubbles rise up to the surface and then float up into the air where they pop with a loud toot. They stink like farts. This is hilarious to me, and I start sloshing through the been field tooting up a smelly ruckus while singing, Beans, beans, the perfect fruit, the more I stomp, the more they toot!

My neighbor steps outside. What are you doing?

I freeze. I look at her. I lift one foot into the air, then stomp it down hard through the water to smush a bean beneath. A single bubble rises to the surface then pops in the air, releasing a green smelly gas. I giggle. Get it? I say, They're beans! And they cause farts! I laugh hysterically, out loud with my mouth open.

My neighbor just stares at me. She has a butterfly tattooed across her face, its wings spread open across her eyes as if it were a party mask.

Is that a real tattoo? I ask her. I can't believe she'd tattoo her face permanently. I look away, pretty convinced that when I look back at her, her face will be different. I just barely perceive some feeling that somehow, the appearance of things can be changed if I just will it to be that way. I can't quite remember why this might be true, but I'm pretty sure I can do it. I stare at my feet through the water and think really hard about her face being different when I look back. But when I look back at her, no; there is still a butterfly tattooed across her face.

It's real. Do you like it? The work is undeniably beautiful, but I can't get over the fact that there will now be a giant butterfly across her face forever. I try to get used to the idea.

Face tattoos are all the rage in Ohio, she says.

This was a night of vivid imagery. It all began with some massive scale contest between the north and south ends of a canyon. The people at either end were fed up with each other and began a war. I was fighting for them in some regard but soon lost interest. At night, I met Marina, although she seemed to have switched bodies from the neck down with Nicole. It was strange seeing her after so many years, we talked a bit but I soon left. At some point I woke up and went back to bed, this time dreaming of a different world. I realized that all night I would search for the blonde from my scripts in my dreams, and never find her. I would see her around a corner, never to catch her. Eventually I became a giant, like in Attack on Titan. I turned, and sprinted up into a massive castle, looking for something vital. I found instead a sleeping giant. I screamed, giving him a moment to react before completely destroying him. The templars came for me quickly, sensing I was in their 200 story cathedral. One woman was sympathetic to me, and I allowed her to watch me, before I jumped from a window and fell to the ground. I woke up.

In my final dream, I was in a strange small town. My brother and father had gone to this tiny area of it that was down a cliff. Usually there was a large wooden ramp taking people down but they destroyed it by joyriding it. I was so upset with them, but eventually found my way down in some sort of vehicle. Down there we saw something amazing. There was a fleet of jets flying by, and in there were some that had no tails, just glowing back ends. Suddenly the planes switched direction right at us, and among them were blimps, flying at the speed of sound. It was incredible to see something so large, so close, travelling so fast. I did not reality check on them though as I was too enthralled.

At the end of that dream tom came down to the pier. It was Canada day, and Harpers Birthday, and Toms. Tom and I were hanging when suddenly he was talking about his older brother. Obviously there isn't one but he started crying since his older brother was dead. I guess that represented his dad.

I stayed with him for a while, and then he went away. The last thing that happened was my watching my brother graduate. Why do I have so many dreams about graduation? I really thought I never cared about graduating anything, maybe this is because I wasn't there for my uni grad.

D1 - I having been persuaded or decided that it is my responsibility, I am standing outside a hall for group functions and parties etc.
It is dark and looks like it might rain, I am standing wearing a t-shirt and nothing else. In my hand is a tray, with a large cake on that has been sliced, I am to offer this to people as they pass by.
I then realise that information on next years positions has been posted inside and go to enter. There is suddenly a melee of hundreds of people all coming out at the same time. I am again swimming against the current and making no progress. I have been told I have been given a position I want least.

D2 - In a classroom with very large students, secondary? They are all sitting on high stools at narrow bar like tables. This excentuates how short I am in comparision. They are a tough class I can feel and I am apprehensive of how things will go. At this point their teacher turns up, they are annoyed as though I have spoiled their game.
The teacher is a short haired, blond lady with glasses. She beckons her teacher's pet to come over to her, he towers over her so she askes him to kneel, bringing him to her height LOL they take their roles and act out the usual smiley niceties.

D3 - In a dark room, with a large furnace like machine, two very odd chemists are making booze. There are loads of small fuzzy creatures, like coconuts with eyes. The chemists are also strange creatures but much larger. They compiserate with me, drinking heavily.

I saw a film called dead something . It was at am arcade inside of the games with a two person shooter inside a little room. The film was about two groups who teamed up to fight the enemy but after the enemy was defeated the groups fought themselves. I remember explaining this to damien. There were these to chicks trying to kill me and in the end i stabbed on of them and shot the other. They turned into skeletons really fast.

Almost had a wild but got too excited when the sensation stsrtd coming

Apt # 4 again. I arrived there after being away for a while and found a note from an unknown organization that OF [old friend that I’ve fallen out with] might show up soon. I felt slightly stressed. Went in and cleaned the place up. OF never arrived, but OR [old roommate] did with someone else [mysterious, no face], and OC [old coworker] did with someone else [mysterious, no face]. I felt a little excited to unpack and rearrange, and thought of looking at maps for small towns to move to next. I thought about how my mom had kept renting this apartment for me on the side, even though I hadn’t been living here.
I was at a bar and I held an almost finished glass of water. MB was next to me and grabbed my glass, and I told her it was just water, and that I had a sore throat. I told her I wasn’t drinking alcohol anymore. She laughed and drank the rest anyway, and said, ‘you did drink too much.’
I remember walking down a long desert road, the kind of desert road that is at the foothills of mountains, rolling hills, lush with cactus, and beautiful. I also drove on a beach, close to, but avoiding the waves as they crashed in. The beach was northern and mostly sparse, a few jutting rocks and a few people.
Going back to apt #4, 2 dogs are out on the sidewalk in front, a small one and a larger chocolate colored retriever. The retriever was kind of defensive at first, but I found a nearby toy and deflected his anxiety and he eventually relaxed. He ran inside when I opened the gate. Ex [KT] was in my apt with a dog when I walked up the the door. He was sitting on my couch watching a video I had paused earlier on my little TV. I was angry, asked him what he was doing here. He told me I had planned it and said it would be good for us. I told him we had to cancel, I wasn’t up for it. He left and I regretted not telling him that I want his key back.

Thoughts:
I’m back at this transitional apartment. Should I be afraid? Prepared for some kind of struggle? Am I just comparing my current conditions to this place? I felt more together in this dream, not so angry. I have decided to not drink for a while. Maybe that is what this is all about.

05.07.2016

(Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was at a surf camp with a bunch of friends from Venezuela. It was a huge indoors pool with different rooms in which you could surf. The place was about to close so I returned my board. I ran into Roman and asked him how it went with the 5'6 board. He said it was hard to stand up but he enjoyed it.

I was driving around, it was night time. I stopped at a red light, and then an idiot passed me on the left turn-only lane when the green light came. I honked at him and he pulled over, but continued driving. I got to a cul de sac, drove around, and saw Gustavo, a member from the gym I work at, standing outside. I parked in front of him and said hi. He waved, and looked a little disoriented. My mom called me and told me to go home. Apparently Gustavo was a criminal; I thought it was silly but I drove home.

I arrived at the building I was apparently living in. It was sorta like a 5 star hotel. The lobby was very nice and the hallways were adorned with exotic plants. I wanted to take the outside stairs instead of the elevator. On the way there, I saw a hobo sleeping on the ground and two security guards approaching him to kick him out; I thought it must be cold outside. I exited the building and saw there were a lot of young people in the street; there were lots of bars around and everyone was dressed nicely. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a window and saw that I was wearing khaki pants and a white buttoned shirt.

In order to go up the stairs I had to get in line, as it was the same line-up to get into the adjacent night cub. Three girls were in front of me; one was a hot, beautiful blonde wearing a black dress, her friend was a cute indian-looking girl wearing a blue dress and had a nose piercing. The indian girl was a little drunk and told me they were not looking to hook up, just wanted to have a girls night out. I smile and say "Good for you" and explain that I'm just going home as I have school tomorrow and I need to sleep. She feels stupid and laughs it off. The blond girl faces me, she looks very familiar and I can't get over how beautiful she is. I smile and say hi, she also smiles.

I'm at home now. My parents are sleeping but they get up and turn on the TV. My dad tells me we're going for a drive but I tell him I am too tired and go to bed.

Bedtime: 11:00 pm
WBTB: 4:00 am
Technique: N/A
Notes: brief FA

I remember waking up and feeling annoyed that my cat was whining to get let out. I grumbled in bed for a moment, then got out of bed to stumble to the kitchen to let him out. I opened the glass door to let him out. I am uncertain if the dream continued after that.

Just a few minutes later, I woke up for real and grumbled about my cat whining to get let out. I got up and let him out, only realizing as I opened the sliding glass door that I had just done the same thing minutes or moments before.

Bedtime: 11:00 pm
WBTB: 4:00 am
Technique: DEILD
Notes: Brief lucidity x 2 this morning between wakings (woken by cat and husband)

Dang.....I became lucid twice this morning but kept getting woken up before I could try the bonus task of the month (summon an earthquake). In both dreams, I became lucid in a courtyard of some kind. Once I stabilized the dream and the scenery was crystal clear, I ran around looking for a wide open space. There were large buildings all around, and several tall trees. In the first dream, I was woken up at this point (either by my cat or my husband making noise in the kitchen). In the second, I returned to this same point and I decided to test my "strength" by defying gravity. I jumped up high into a tree. Feeling comfortable that I had some control, I then got back on the ground and ran to a large area between the tallest buildings, thinking it would be safer to summon an earthquake there with less to fall on my head and wake me up. I tried speaking out loud to the dream to summon the earthquake. At first my words didn't come out right, but my voice grew louder and more confident as I continued to speak. I asked the dream directly to create an earthquake. Then my cat woke me up. Sigh.

Following my previous blog entry, I formulated a guess about how my lucid dreams have been induced all this time, strangely enough. This morning I had another lucid dream with a unique twist.

It was a another DILD following a WBTB wherein I recognized I was dreaming but as usual, didn’t hold the dream for more than 10-20 seconds. I woke up shortly afterwards with my eyelids still lit up with vivid hypnagogic imagery such as a playing cards twisting and spinning and even the word “RSAtouble” was seen. I believe I was reading the word as “Roundtable” - just poorly misspelled.

I wasted no time in trying to gain entry into the dream world again and tried to do the FILD method while waiting for the opportune time to move my limbs again, do a reality check, and explore the dream world. I was certain I was dreaming but I was still in my place of rest so I got up, did a nose-pinch reality check but could not breathe so I lied back down and tried once again to get back into the dream scene using the FILD technique.

The thing is, in retrospect, that reality check should have failed because that entire FILD sequence was a dream, I now realize. But because I thought I was fully I awake, I expected the reality check to succeed and thus it did.

Expectations are huge in the dream world. I am not talking about these forced expectations that are induced via mantras. I am talking about expectations as natural as you expecting a light to come on when you flip a switch or when you turn a doorknob. They are not consciously thought about, you just passive anticipate the usual result after countless repetition. A routine essentially. Anyway, back on track.

It wasn’t till after I had woken up one last time to get ready for work that I realized what had happened, I had some inception-style lucid dream.

I noticed a pattern in when my lucid dreams have occurred:

1. I sleep for 4-6 hours then wake up for 45-60 minutes.

2. I go back to sleep with awareness of the time and the intention to awaken at a later time. Why? Because it would be absolutely dreadful to be late for work trying to lucid dream.

3. I expect to have a lucid dream but I don’t try to force anything. My priority is to get as much sleep as possible within the 2 hour time frame I’m allowed.

If the second item is the reason for my lucid dreams, then I may be on the cusp of mastering the induction of lucid dreams. After that, it is only a matter of training stability and control.

Morning of July 5, 2016. Tuesday.



My dream self’s primary focus is that I am in our bed in our present home, though with a vague and inconsequential awareness of bilocation within an unknown second location. (My second-most-common form of dream state initiation involves transformation of sleeping location factors, which is simply the residual though subliminal memory dynamic of having fallen asleep, the most common being various forms of water induction. My common awareness of bilocation in the dream state is simply caused by the modulation of the imaginary dream body and the real physical body, though of which was more vivid and sustained in childhood dreams, especially during the waking stage.)

I am holding a manila envelope which apparently needs to be mailed. (This is real-time dream state symbolism as a concomitant of a residual consciously created thread to trigger communication between the imaginary dream self and the dormant conscious self identity, though it does not always work or even vivify the dream state. In this case however, it does vivify my dream somewhat but does not trigger lucidity.)

I look at the front but I am not clear on the address of the business. (This is simply the result of my language skills being dormant while in some levels of unconsciousness, though writing is clearly readable in some dreams, depending on the dream type and particular stage.)

On the back of the envelope is what looks like a tic-tac-toe grid (though is not necessarily implied to be one as it could also be a magic square frame or just a generic three-by-three grid). In the rightmost square of the middle row is a sketchy image of a human left ear.

I turn the envelope over to see if I can make out the name or address again and when I once again look at the back, the “ear” now looks like a sketchy wing drawing, though still somewhat like a human left ear. My dream fades as I am puzzling over this imagery.

---

Note One: As a casual reader might guess, the mail symbolism (linked to the first-level dream state initiation, that is, the bed setting), common since childhood and established in practice from December 1966, was not consciously intended to be literally rendered as such, but rather as a “line of communication” sustained into the dream state via conscious intent. However, due to the very nature of being unconscious, my conscious intent naturally ebbs and becomes a literal rendering of this metaphor in the non-lucid dream state.

Note Two: This is also very cleverly augmented “return flight” symbolism as precursory waking symbolism. My otherwise dormant conscious self is fully aware that inner ear dynamics are the main reason for flight symbols in the dream state, which occur in over one in five of the tens of thousands of dreams I have experienced and studied. (Any association with falling, flying, dizziness, or rising is biologically based on inner ear dynamics and RAS activation to bring about and mediate consciousness.)

Note Three: Mail symbolism is also present with dream state duality (harmonious connection with one’s partner) or multiplicity (connection with the transpersonal or collective unconscious, including literal prescience, for example, an actual letter received in real life of the same content as seen previously in the dream state). This dream has no sign of either (although certain other dreams do).

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Resupplemented on Sunday, 8 October 2017.

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Completed Basic Task 1

Had a really good sleep last night and woke early for a short wbtb. Also read through the totm's on dream views - I had the urge

Was very aware of dream starting and the deilding over an hour or so just before getting up - began moving around in dream very quickly but lucidity was a bit tricky at times...I must remember to ground myself more when beginning with entering ...maybe coz I am so close to awakening.

Anyway Enjoyed some Lucid times this morning and managed to get a few takes at some of the totm's ; when first lucid I tried to fly at the speed of light but it was awfully static and dark not my usual flight mode ... So I abandoned that task. I see a DC and walk up to him. I try to pull down his pants but to my utter surprise the trousers just won't come down ha ha I keep tugging but it seems like a tug of war with the DC's powers or something - anyway I abandon it.

Later lucid I try the Basic task again and succeed - I move up to a handsome DC and say 'ok task of the month here I come' - I look him straight in the eye and move very very close to him! When I am almost nose to nose I quickly bend down and pull his trousers and pants down to the ground. I stand back and look at his exposed parts and it looks like he is a woman down there or he is a small butt ...I could not work it out so I looked up at his face and he looked at me saying something like ' I don't know ' and shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky smile

I then asked him about a good Totm - he gave me an answer but I forgot

+(f) camping on cliffs, open tent and kiss girl (duck lips) twice on 3rd lean in she pulls back

+(f, vague) I see (myself)? a fat toad-like crouched being, trying to see clearly

+ (vivid) putting out fires on the hills, trees, smoldering bark, branches, moving them into a fire pit, large smoldering branches, I look around and see more and more little fires present among the hills. We're here I think to put out these fires.

+ dunking (kids) in large pool for points. In each of 4 quadrants I either pull down or push down to the pool floor (about 12 feet?) a kid floating in the water (one is AndMar) and I want to get my score for doing this. For the rest of the dream I'm trying to figure out what my (big) score for these maneuvers will be. It's at least 50 points or more for each of them so I'm due hundreds of points. I'm looking up in my old (Boy Scout) manual, a thick paperback book with tons of little sticky bookmarks. I see several times lists of URLs for sites / documents that contain the scoring system. I want to go hurry to get my tablet or smart phone to look them up. There are about 4 URLs, one mostly numbers, one about 4 words separated by dots.

+f(f, vague now) there is a battle, star wars?, fantasy? with guys and girls.

+ in boy scout camp, by the lake, there is a man with dirty hands. I teach him how to wash his hands at the shore of the lake using the sand/gravel at the water's edge. There is a benefit to doing this: I find a shiny quarter in the sand. Then I find more and more shiny metal coin-like things. Some are soft metal and I can bend them with my hands, some are light/fake collectible coins like the kind offered in gas stations in my youth.

+ (vivid) fantasy adventure: dragonfly bracelet fly up to level above, computer terminals filling up with other casual adventurers, looking for keys I know the terminal is up ahead, use it and get the skeleton key with 4 matching skeletons vertically stacked, elevator, gun turrets, crouching down, companions snickering at the artwork in the elevator, but I pull a panel aside and I like it. Emerge walking through room decorated or Christmas with rows of tiny bows on tables, so light that the draft of our walking past them stirs them around.

Morning of July 5, 2016. Tuesday.



This dream starts off with quite honestly the worst visual pun I have seen in ages. I am looking into a parking lot and see that something is not quite right. Instead of the cars having a windshield and upper section, it is a thumb in such a manner as the thumbnail implies the car’s windshield. Still, the scene does not really seem that bizarre to me and in fact, eventually triggers otherwise unrelated sequences.

Next, there is a thumb with windshield wipers moving over the thumbnail. This image is greatly magnified though the closeup perspective is not realistic. The windshield wipers have too much mechanical detail and exaggerated distance from each other (relative to one over the other and seeming farther out than it should). Eventually these “windshield wipers” become more like a minute hand and an hour hand reading fifteen minutes to three (or two forty-five). During this time, there are also glimpses of watching the slightly twitching needle of a pressure gauge. Sometimes when going back to the “fingernail wipers” they seem more like black hairs that just fall off the surface.

The perspective of my dream shifts, similar to when one jumps from visual sequences into a more corporeal state. A car has been abandoned at the top of a hill with all of its doors left open. It is raining. The windshield wipers are the minute hand and hour hand of a clock, again suggesting two forty-five or a quarter to three. They move slightly but fall back, and the position remains at about a quarter to three. It seems at first to be some sort of sign relating to mortality. However, it is more likely a circadian rhythms feature as it relates to the nature of time. I begin to walk towards the car and instead become the car which is also a clock.

---

Upon seeing the above image, Zsuzsanna caught the play on “thumb drive” instantly, with no other hint.

I was driving a car with my father. We were driving through a forest, looking for something or someone. We were driving in our second car, a black Audi. Changing from several levels was somehow stiff. First we drove into the forest and next to the right, then we backtracked and turned left. But we've drove in wrong direction and I had to reverse again. When we finally got on proper road, we had an obstacle on our way - a tractor. It moved to the side and we were able to drive away.

Later when I was in home, mother told me that somehow they found money to buy me a new laptop. I wanted to find a work so I could get it, but now it wasn't necessary. I asked her about specification, and she told me that it's a strong rig. Then my brother arrived and asked me about lending him some clothes. I went to nearby room and turned on the lights - first the light bulb was blinking, then glowing faintly. I called mother to report that to her. Then with brother we checked my wardrobe.

Bed: 23.00
Wake up: 07.45
Now: 08.00


Fragments
» I'm sitting on the couch in my mom's living room together with my little brother. I'm looking out the window. There's a party going on on the other side. The building is missing a wall, allowing me to look inside. There are just a few people, all teenagers. I'd say about 8 girls and 2 guys. I can't hear any of the music, making the dancing seem all the more weird. Adding to that is that the people are dancing in different rhythms. Is this a silent disco? I tell my little brother to have a look.

» I remember seeing a list of anime's. Three of them are different variations of Naruto. There's the original, Shippuden and then some other. Naruto is slightly older in every one of them. There's also something going on at one point, where I can select a character from the anime. I choose Shikamaru. There's something going on with a needle passing the screen and my finger. It's sowing into my finger. I can feel the pain of it a bit.

» I'm looking at FB on my laptop. The timer of stayfocusd seems to have run out, yet I'm still able to keep spending time on FB. Perhaps the timer won't allow me to reload?

» I'm in Indonesia, looking for a toilet. At some point I finally find one, though it's weird looking. I decide to pee anyway. Some people enter the hallway and with the door and walls being quite shady in this situation, I'm afraid of being spotted. Eventually a slightly older woman wearing a hijab and glasses comes in. She informs me that this is not a toilet, but a wasbak [sink]. Damn. A few seconds later, two women/girls exit from two white doors behind me, which seem like the actual toilets.

» I've just finished doing... something. Work perhaps. I've already gotten mostly dressed, but I hop into another big dressing room. A girl joins me in there. She leaves shortly after. I'm pretty much all done getting dressed. All that's left is for me to put on my black vest and my backpack and leave. I do this as slowly as possible, hoping that the girl will come back before I leave. She does come back just before I exit. A few moments later an English teacher from my high school is also there. She's asking what the plan is. The room has turned into a hotel bedroom with 2 separate beds. She's asking in a way that tells me she doesn't want me here. I tell her I wasn't planning on staying. I'm actually from this city, so I have a place to sleep. In my mind I curse this woman [who I already hated anyway].

» I'm meeting up with a friend on my way out. He invites me to join him and my other friends to [something] Monologues, or something. It's a play at [...] TTT. I'm trying really hard to resist, as I have a thesis to finish. In the end I give in, thinking to myself that I should allow myself to have some fun as well. I buy a ticket online for € 27,- In the end my friend informs me that he won't be going anymore. Fuck.