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This morning my husband woke me up to say goodbye before going to work. I got up and brushed my teeth (don't like the bad taste) then went back to bed. Like usual, before falling asleep I thought about the possibility of an intruder and worried I'd have another intruder, false-awakening, paralysis dream in which I knew I was awake.

I fell asleep with my cat on the bed and the cat was still sleeping with me in the dream. I remember seeing my window, which has brown curtains, and knowing that I was still sleeping. I could feel myself paralyzed in bed and wanted to wake up. At this point I was half paralyzed, as I was lifting up my arm, stretched out towards the window. In my thinking in the dream, I was half awake, but in reality it was all a dream and my real body outside of the dream wasn't moving at all. I thought if only I can move enough, then I'll fully wake up. Finally, I struggle off the bed and onto the floor, then hear a tune very audibly. It was unfamiliar to me. A few seconds later I wake up. When I wake up, I wonder if the tune was coming from outside the dream or fabricated in the dream (often I rely on cues from reality to help me wake up from false awakening dreams, like the radio or an alarm, but I didn't this time) and realized it was in the dream. I knew I didn't know the tune, but I wondered if it was the song from Helix that my dad sent me as a ringtone recently. It wasn't perfectly like it, but it reminded me of it. Now I don't remember how the tune goes. This is the first time that this particular reoccuring dream has had a tune in it.

This was all with the knowledge in my dream that this same scenario happens all the time, and when it happens an intruder will come or my husband will come home early. I want to wake up so badly because I don't want to face the intruder. This time I didn't face him at all. My last encounter with the intruder I was trying to block him from opening up the door and suddenly woke up (I wasn't aware I was dreaming in this instance). I've also seen him in person in the dream, an Asian man (my husband is Japanese), but looks nothing like my husband. But it didn't seem like he is going to hurt me.

Usually, I'm really scared of this dream happening. But now I want to face it and talk to the intruder. So I hope to post more dream journals here and track my progress on this particular dream.

Monday 12.02.13

Last night bed 11:30pm

I'm in a garden at my childhood house. Lots of people there. There is a man, that is walking around the cellars hallway and also the yard. He walks around slowly, with sinister purpose. I have a gun and it seems like i also have ammo. It's in a small ammo box. Ammunition is small, golden in color, or yellow brass.

I tell someone to lock all their doors and to call my mom and others to stay in their apartments. That's when i see my mom, cluelessly peeking out of one of the doors leading to the yard. I yell at her to get back inside and lock the doors.

In the meantime, I keep shooting the guy, with no effect. I keep reloading the gun, but now the bullets are getting all messed up. They are tiny, deformed, and mixed in with stuff like lint and other stupid things. The intruder is now heading towards us. So I run up to him and knock him out cold.

I'm asking a neighbor if I should call 911, or the non-emergency number. She says non-emergency, since we got him neutralized.

Dream 1

I'm at a campground with several friends. The entire place is dark and gloomy, and I feel off kilter from the very beginning. The campground is mostly a steep hill that ends at a lake, with a little management cabin/bathrooms by the lake. We're the only people this close to the bottom. Our tent is set up behind a tree, hugging it. Once again, it is dark, gloomy, and has an air of trouble brewing.

We're all inside the tent. There are at least five of us. One girl is bigger, has blonde hair and glasses, and reminds me of L's friend.

The tent is only big enough to accommodate one, yet we're all in the tent and don't give it a second thought. The front is zipped up, and it is night.

We all know that something dark is out there, waiting to pounce. I can't see anything since it's so dark out, only the faint outline of the tent in front of my nose. We can hear it's footsteps as it circles the tent. Suddenly, something strikes at the tent and the side is dented inward. Then all I can hear is the scrabbling sound of fingernails on the plastic-y surface of the tent. I scream and grab at the tent, holding it together so that it can't enter. My friends are sobbing and crying out behind me, but they are background noises to the sound of the zipper being jerked downward.

I think that it was gone for a while. We made a mad dash for an old, twisted tree on the other side of the road. The fat friend shouted out something, and I thought that it was funny. I'm climbing up this tree like there's no tomorrow, leaping from limb to limb. I finally find a secure spot that seems to be the highest point. I settle down, all while looking at the ground to be on guard. I know that my friends are being caught, behind me, but can't turn around to look.

Then I 'wake up'. I want to remember the dream so I can write it down later so I start to remember each bit that happened, carefully. I'm sucked in. Everything happens similarly. When we get to the old tree, I'm trying to find the spot that I perched in before but can't. I find a similar spot and sit there for a moment. Something dark churns beneath me.

As one, we all jump out of the tree and run up the road. We're all terrified and out of breath, there are broken sobs. Then we come upon two big tents and some picnic tables. Music is blasting, people are everywhere, and you can hear the sound of glass being tapped together. A cute boy with an odd, perky stride walks by.

"Here, we'll be safe here. Let's stay." Someone says in a breathless, relieved, voice. No, let's not stay, I think. I feel a bad vibe from this place, but I can feel my resolve weakening as I keep an eye on that pretty boy and the blasting music reels me in. It sounds like a fun time.

I open my eyes. It's completely dark in my room. I can't seem to move, and I feel very weak. Like I just exercised a day straight. It's a nice kind of weak. Why is it dark? I think. It's morning, it should be light. The curtains are closed, I notice. I get a sudden, panicky feeling. I struggle in the blankets for a moment. I can't keep my eyes closed, I know that he (the thing from my dream) was in the room. I hear footsteps on the wooden floor.

"Dad!" I call. My voice is very quiet, and weak. I try again. "Dad! Come here!" I could hear him talking with my brother, S, as they came up the stairs. "S! Come here!" He stands just outside the open door to talk to me.

"What?"
"I need you to go to the library and get a book for me. "

"What? Why?" In a whining voice. Then the shuffle of paper. I needed the book with the gem on the cover, the book that was the twin to the one that I already had.

Dream 2

I live in a village in the middle of nowhere. The world is about to end and we are packing all of our belongings into this space craft, where we will live for the rest of eternity. By 'the end of the world' I mean that the entire world, besides our UFO, will disappear into a never ending white blur.

Everyone is discouraged. They think that we will starve aboard the ship. I pack chickens, pigs, lots of sheep, and cows. They freely move about. My plan was that we would eat the eggs that the chickens lay, and that the slain animals would respawn back on the ship. A villager made a nasty comment about how they wouldn't respawn back on the ship, but out in the white. I responded by saying that we would survive on the eggs.

I laid down endless red and white beds along the sides of the ship. I told the villagers that we could dig downward and make sleeping quarters. I imagined a long hallway to explore, and huge rooms filled with bunk beds. It sounded fun.

I thought that it would be nice to have kittens, for fun, on the ship. I found a box of them at the last minute. They were very rare. It turned out that a woman had sex with a cat to give birth to them, everyone hushed when that was revealed. She gave instructions as to how to make babies with a cat.

I was throwing everything I could possibly find on board. We were about to leave at any second. I ran outside to find more stuff to put on the ship. A countdown begins out loud. The villagers are screaming at me and beckoning for me to come back now. I run.

Everything was blank, but then we somehow go forward into the past/future. We're in the village again, except it's inhabited by different people, the buildings are slightly changed, and one building is deteriorated. The villagers (from the ship) creep forward hesitantly. They look incredibly out of place, with their long, old-fashioned dressed and top hats.

Some of them start to cry because they don't know if they will pop back into the past/future in a second, and the thought of never seeing their village again made them sad.

Lucid Dream 3

I remember flying around my town and breaking into someone's house. A woman with short hair lived there. The fact that she had dyed red hair seemed important. She lived there with her family. I started regretting breaking into the house because I was stuck skittering room to room to avoid being seen. "Why did I do this?" I mournfully ask myself as I run into the guest bedroom that is rarely used. I literally dive on the bed, which looks incredibly inviting because of the fluffy comforter and huge pillows.

I hide behind a column beside the sofa as someone enters the living room. I mentally curse the dad when he decided to not go to work today, and to stay home. He has on a tux and carries a suitcase.

When the person leaves the room I jump onto the sofa and over the back. I crouch down behind it.

Now I'm on the back road beside the elementary school. I'm flying at least at tree level. I decide that, yeah, this must be a dream because I'm flying. Everything turns golden and light. It reminds me of heaven. There is no ground. I want to work on my swimming for the next meet, and I remember reading somewhere that practicing something in a dream can make you better at in real life. I start doing butterfly midair. It feels weird. It's uncomfortable and tight on my shoulder joints, but it also feels crazy because I'm the air!

Another short lucid dream that I remembered while writing this. Might've happened on Friday? Everything is blue, and there is no ground. I'm swimming butterfly, easily. There is the edge of this sky-pool way ahead, and there are even little handles for backstroke starts and blocks. It all feels unreal, because everything is floating. I an hear a crowd talking and get the distinct feeling that there was a large room to my right. It was made out of concrete. There was a dark-skinned woman with big brown hair there, laughing.

I wake up at 2:45 half in and half out of a dream...there's a strange are loud siren ringing in my ears, almost like an electrnic alarm but of massive scale...i realize i am in bed sleeping and must be dreaming. I try to wake myself up. as I become aware...eyes still shut...I cannot tell if the sound is real or not...until they start to fade. I have trouble figuring out where I am. I have to focus...my heart is racing and I can't remember where I live or anything about myself for a few moments. It starts to come back as I start to recognize shapes in the dark....the window, my guitar case. I am in a room...what room? Is it my room? Where am I. Where do I live? In nc. I live in nc...in a house? No. An apartment...I left my house, my wife, months ago. My memory starts to return....I start to relax...but as I do, the wailing sirens return, excrusiatingly loud. It's interesting, I think to myself. I wonder how loud it will go. As I try to return to sleep, the sirens always get loud enough to wake me to the silence. I concentrate and manage to relax and control the sound in my head..as I start to fall back to sleep...then...movement wakes me...at my back. Something rubs me...feels warm...something alive and big enough to be a cat, maybe a dog. I lay still...don't want to startle it. I reach my arm back slowly, expecting to feel fur...I feel skin...an arm. ITS A PERSON. I think to myself in my still confused half awake state...is it Jason? Then I feel an arm around my neck hard...I lunge to get away but the arm is strong and I am soon wrestling for my life. I manage to get my feet on the ground and turn toward the intruder. I see his face in the darkess, grimacing...he's a young man, taller than me...I am in a fight for my life. Then I feel another body grab me from behind. I am being choked. I can't breath...but I am choking the man in front of me too. I think to myself...if I kill this guy, I might survive. But as I choke him, I start to pass out. I can sense the end is coming. I fought a good fight, I am going to die well.....then...

I hear a funny ringing sound, not a siren, this is different...I recognize it...it's my cell phone. I realize i am sleeping and someone is calling me but I can't answer it though because somehow I rolled in my sleep in such a way that my right arm was wrapped around my neck and my left arm was under my body....both were asleep and i was partially cutting off my own air supply. I did finally answer it...it was Steve from a company who I work for in NJ....there was a critical software failure at month's end and they needed my help. It was 3:00 sharp. The details of the dream are still fresh. I even remember the intruder's face...he had pale skin, blue eyes and short red curly hair. He was big and strong. The one behind me choking me, I could tell was smaller and had big forearms...like mine I guess. I remember that the imagery of the room was extremely accurate, the position of the bed, the guitar case, the dresser...the size of the room...even the ambient light coming from the window that lit up the man's face. Would love to hear comments about this, especially the siren. It was the only thing about this episode that concerns me, never had anything like it before. The way it filled my mind and went through me in chilling pulse waves...waves that I could almost control. And the overwhelming terrrified feeling and chills that I felt that came in waves in sync with the sound.

Tonight my DCs were real motormouths, it was quite odd! the strangest thing is they were still talking even when I wasn't focusing on them... for example I was busy cleaning a container, and these girls in another room were talking about dieting! the nerve! this is my dream world!

11:30pm

Fragment: I was at a basketball court playing basketball with someone.

Mini Dream: In my room, I'm on my bed drawing a hand, and some other random less interesting stuff. someone I don't know criticizes my drawings
(whats with strangers being in my room wtf?)

Tower Defense

Third person, tower defense game, medieval setting. the monsters come out of one hole in four directions, I was making a strategy to use the shittiest buildings as barricades. We have a feast to celebrate our victory, with alcohol of course!
Later on I remember making small adjustments to the paths while someone is talking in a thick Scottish accent* I could not understand him, actually I think I was ignoring him, I wasn't even looking at him really..
*this is probably from this video => Shorty Awards - The Scottish Vote - YouTube
I didn't vote for them it was bugging me all day.. lol xD

5:30am

Fragment:Some guy was cursed, he had a hula hoop around him, i put a ring on his hula hoop and he got angry or something...

Cigarette Girl
Fragment: I am not sure if I dreamed about driving to the school or not..

Vivid dream. I'm at a primary school that I don't recognize, it looks like any normal street to be honest.. anyway me and my family (and potentially some other people) were sitting on a bench, while my little sister went to her classroom. I was looking around I saw a few students walking around and a big sign which I assume had the name of their school on it. I went to read it and some girl walked in front of it with a cigarette in her mouth! I was asking her to get rid of it, and my sister was not impressed with me for going about it the wrong way? as expected everyone had no opinions about the cigarette girl. I was close to becoming lucid at that moment. instead I started looking out for a friends sister(CJ) I'm not even sure if she has a little sister in primary school though. Later on me and my dad are walking into the school and I check my phone, its 8:35am and I thought I was late... but i stated at 9am? I got a text message i but I couldn't read it in time.

Fragment: I thought I had my work pants on but they weren't mine.

Dream Character Party

At a house with friends from where I used to work (JH, SV, KL) I was made to clean up the ice cream in a big container. I tried some, it didn't taste spectacular anyway. while washing it KL was talking about her pea-flavoured smoothie diet (I'm pretty sure she said pea-shaped but this makes more sense) and some skinny woman I didn't know was talking about not eating at all. I walk outside (surprisingly seamless transition from inside to outside) It was getting dark, twilight.. The light came through the gap between the house next-door and the pergola. My cousin (MC) was sitting outside next to a white table having a drink, I asked why he was hanging out with these guys and he said he was bored and had nowhere better to go.. I couldn't really see him because the fence was blocking the light. I turned around to see a hill with people on it. beyond the fence were expensive houses. (ACC) was sitting on the hill, talking about how his brother gets more attention and he seems a little down. a little kid comes out with an electric guitar... it transitions to a weird guitar game, where you have to follow the guitar strings to the bottom then back up.. it became pretty abstract, the strings were distorting and stopping, starting.. I was going easy on them, and I ended up losing.

Fragment: Renovating a house, old lady, I noticed the renovators did a really shitty job.. the host from better homes and gardens was there.

7:00am

Good morning, everybody. My dream recall from last night is pretty fragmented, especially for the first dream.

Dream #1

In the context of something else I can no longer remember, I was looking at a website which offered some kind of songwriting (?) service. The user would either be charged by word written or by number of whole songs (?) written, depending on how many songs had been written and how long the songs were.

Dream #2

I was coming home at night. I was across the street from "my apartment building." I looked up to the windows of "my apartment" and saw that my lights were on. This, I knew, meant that someone was in my place, as if someone had broken into my place and was just hanging around in there while I was away.

I was now in "my apartment." I was going from room to room, trying to find whether the person was still there. I had a lot of rooms.

In one of the rooms, possibly the bathroom, I pulled back the curtains to the window. I saw that the window was wide open. I knew that the person who had come in here had gotten in through this window.

I went through the rooms, trying to find evidence that someone had been in my place. Was anything missing or misplaced? Was anything in disarray? But I don't think I found anything wrong. I may eventually have found some mess under or on top of a bed in a dim bedroom.

I eventually had one of my friends come over to investigate as well. I don't recognize my friend, and I'm not sure I ever saw him directly in the dream. He was an older, tall, white man with carefully arranged, grey, wavy hair. He wore a very nice suit.

At some point the man and I had left the apartment. I probably had to go on with my normal daily life despite the threat of this house invader.

But the man had an idea. If I stayed close to the apartment but I made it look like I had left the apartment building with no intention of coming back, perhaps the intruder would come back.

So now the old man and I were milling around in the deli near my building. I was probably looking at some bags of chips.

At some point, it may have become evident that the intruder was back in my place. The old man and I may have headed back to the place.

Dream #3

I was watching some old clip of a role Sarah Silverman had had as a child. Apparently she was in some kind of show about high school kids But she looked as young as an elementary school kid. She was also wearing a costume that looked like a plush easter bunny costume, except that it was Elmo-red.

Silverman stood on some huge stage, like for the Lawrence Welk show. The stage and the background were a seamless pink. Silverman stood with a young male friend beside a minivan, which was being displayed, as if for a game show. The front of the minivan was pointed toward the back of the stage.

Silverman was doing some act where she was supposed to be giving a huge, smart monologue about all the great characteristics of this prize minivan. But, as part of the act, she kept screwing up her lines until, out of frustration, she (still part of the act) threw the boy into the minivan and then slammed the sliding door shut.

Silverman then got into the front seat of the van. The shot was from the inside of the van now. It felt like the van was also oriented in the opposite direction.

Silverman was still giving some kind of monologue as she pouted and slouched in the seat, her knees up against the steering wheel. The monologue was supposed to be funny.

But the audience (of whom I hadn't been aware previously) was booing Silverman. Apparently they had been really offended by the way she had thrown the young man in the car, even though it had only been meant to be the comedic climax to her act.

(Something happened in the dream before this "beginning," but I can't remember it.)

I was sitting in the living room of "my mom's house." My mom may just have moved into this house. There were packed boxes all over. I'm pretty sure that I had come from out of town to visit my mom.

The house had a yellowy light in it, like afternoon or morning light. The house was pretty big. It had at least two stories, the ground floor connected to the second floor by a long, narrow stairwell.

My mom may have sat on a couch while I sat on the floor, surrounded by boxes. My mom and I were talking about something, some kind of abstract discussion that eventually wound around to a book of mine.

The book, I saw in my mind's eye, was a tall, wide, thin, hardcover picture book. The cover was all black except for the title and a photo of some brightly colored life-form, either an exotic plant or a deep-sea creature.

My mom may have implied somehow that she would like to see the book. But I felt like the book was in one of the boxes, and that it would be pretty hard for me to find.

My mom was gone. I "went out to the truck" (I'm pretty sure I didn't actually do this, but kind of "told myself" I had done it), where the book had been somewhere like the floor of the front seat. I was now in the living room with the book in my arms.

I put the book into a slot in a series of vertical steel-rod separators in a drawer of a short filing cabinet, which may have been part of something like an entertainment center.

I thought, My mom wanted the book. I didn't think I could give it to her. But now she'll have it. But I won't make a big deal about it, because I don't want her to feel like she needs to thank me for having gone out of my way to find it.

I walked out of the living room. I went into a couple different rooms on the ground floor and on the second floor. All the rooms were full of stuff, but they didn't feel moved-into. It was like everything still needed to be unpacked.

The rooms were all bathed in warm light and had a summery, breezy feel. But there was also a really eerie feeling. I noticed after a while that some of the windows seemed to have been opened, and that bedsheet-like curtains were billowing in the breeze.

I was certain someone had illicitly entered the house. I got panicked. I ran down the stairs and found my mom. My mindset was now like I was living in the house with my mom, possibly like I had been living there with her for a while.

I may have scolded my mom for something or other, like not being vigilant enough about keeping the house safe.

I was pretty sure the person was still inside the house. So I decided to explore the rooms and try to find the person. But as I started searching, I got really afraid.

(I can't say whether I got so afraid that I woke up or whether I woke up because my alarm went off. I had unintentionally set my alarm last night, and I woke as soon as it went off. But I am also very certain that I was so afraid, in my dream, as I went searching through the house, that I might have woken up out of fear pretty soon anyway.)

Type: regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I was in my sister's bedroom; the lights were off but I could still outlines and there was a slight illumination coming from an unknown angle. Her room was small, around twelve by twelve feet, and the only furniture in the room was a white twin bed, positioned against the wall, and a vertical white dresser. We were both behind the bed on the floor, and because of this we couldn't see the door to her room. We were talking about random gibberish that I can't remember, and suddenly the door swung open, making a large banging sound against the wall. I looked up over the bed and saw a shady man in his thirties stalking towards us. This wasn't exactly a nightmare because it didn't have the same terror as a nightmare would have, but I was still nervous.

My sister got up and, without saying a word, ran right past the man and out the bedroom door. Who knows why he didn't jump at the chance to attack her. So, I was still looking over the bed and realized only now that he was holding a crossbow. It was brown and fairly basic in structure; the arrows made of slightly beveled metal.

He pointed the crossbow at me and I slunk back behind the bed. He came around the corner of it, the bow still pointing at me, and pulled it back. I pressed myself against the wall to hide myself; because of the angle he was aiming from, he'd have to move again to shoot. He came around quickly and shot me just above the forehead. I didn't feel pain or see blood, and I pulled the arrow out that actually didn't go that far into me, maybe a few centimeters.

The dream ended.