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I'm in a car with my girlfriend and an African American guy in the Netherlands. I'm driving the car but having big troubles driving it and especially I can't figure out how to switch on the lights.

2017, 10-16

Game of Dreams – Faceoff at the Inn

I am riding on a donkey with other people. There are two wagons in our group. Not far up ahead I see an inn. The man in charge, Yarin, says we can afford hot meal and they also have a bath house, so if any of us would like to bathe we can do that, too. The horses and donkeys are taken away to be given food and water, and most everyone else heads into the Inn. A cloaked man stays outside in one of the wagons, and the three chained man stay in the other. The food is quite good. It looks like some kind of pot pie. They’re also baked apples. The ale is pretty good, though it’s not my favorite. I eat while everyone around me is talking and telling stories. One person has a story of a giant wolf that came into a town and stole a baby from its mother‘s arms to eat it. Wolves don’t eat babies! I tell them that. One of them asked me what I know about wolves. I say I know as much as anyone around here. At this point Yarin for some reason grabs my arm. He tells everyone there not to pay any attention to me, I’m just a stupid boy. Yarin takes me out in front of the inn, and he tells me to go make sure that the animals are being cared for. I tell him I’ve had enough of that crowd anyhow.

I am walking past the wagons when one of the chained men tries to get my attention. He talks about himself in the third person, referring to himself as a man. He displays that his tankard is empty and says he still thirsty. He wants me to go get him some more ale. The other two with him are rude. One is fat and bald. He doesn’t talk. He does hiss. He has really sharp teeth. The other guy there has no nose. I immediately start thinking of him as Voldemort from Harry Potter. He is yelling at me, he throws his empty tankard at me, but I dodge it. The decent one of them tells me his name is Jaqen H'ghar. He apologizes for the others, “A man does not choose his companions in the dungeons. So a man must apologize for his companions.“ Voldemort tells me to come closer. I have no desire to get any closer to his ugly face. I focus my response on the nice one. I tell Jaqen H'ghar that I will talk to someone about getting him more ale. He responds with, “A man would be grateful.“ I am about to keep going when I see another of our group out there. It is a boy who everyone calls The Bull. He asks what I’m doing? I’m about to answer when I see The Bull staring behind me.

When I look behind me, I see that there are gold cloaks coming. Those are the queen’s guards. They must be after Arya. I pull The Bull behind a hedge where we won’t be seen. He seems confused by this. We watch as the leader of the gold cloaks comes up and confronts Yarin. He says they are there to collect one boy. He says they have a warrant issued by the queen. Yarin is not quick to cooperate. He says all of the boys with him are now in the Knight’s Watch. He says whatever we’ve all done in our past is now irrelevant. Yarin says that there are laws about such things. The gold cloak pulls out a sword and declares that it is his law. Yarin says that’s no law, that’s a sword. He’s got one too. He draws his sword. The gold cloak says he has five soldiers with him. Yarin reports that he’s got 30. So the two of them are facing off against each other like a couple of dogs fighting for dominance. It wouldn’t have surprised me to hear them start growling at each other. The gold cloak says that the people Yarin has with him are green boys, not worthy to fight. He says if they’re going to fight, who is first?

The goal cloak no doubt expected to be answered with silence, but he gets immediate responses. A couple men sitting outside the inn stand up and announce they will fight. They all have weapons. One guy was just coming out of the bathhouse with his clothes in a bundle in his arms. He drops everything except for his dagger, and announces he will fight. Apparently he intends to fight naked. Even one jerk, we’ve been calling Hot Pie, picks up a large rock and looks like he’s ready to brain someone with it. The strange cloaked figure in the back of the wagon gets out and just stand there and watches. Jaqen H'ghar says, “A man would fight if he was free and had a weapon.” I decide not to hide while everyone else is preparing to fight. So I come out in the open, and I draw my sword which is called Needle. The gold cloak calls all of us little girls, and tells us to put the weapons down. While he’s looking at me, he has given Yarin the perfect opening. The next thing I know he’s got his sword at the gold cloak’s throat. He makes a few threats, makes the guy drop his sword, and then swatted horse on the behind making him run away. The other gold cloaks follow.

With the threat passed I look over and see the strange cloaked guy get back in the wagon. Apparently he was only going to act if it was absolutely necessary. Or maybe he’s a chicken wuss. I don’t really know. Yarin is quite annoyed at us all. He says that if we think will make it to the wall without more trouble then we must be idiots. He says he will tell us all this right now. If they come back, and there is fighting, we need to hightail it for the wall and not look back. He is talking mainly to both me and The Bull. I’m wondering why they want to capture The Bull. I ask him what his name is, and he says it’s Gendry. I don’t know why the queen would want him, he’s just a bastard. A blacksmiths bastard. We get ready to move out that same night, we want to put some distance between us and the gold cloaks in case they come back. It is here that I wake up.

I've been noticing dreams in which I 'think' I am sleepwalking, but am not. It's hard to explain (as usual), but I think I am walking around in reality, but I know my eyes are closed but I can still see. But I think what I'm seeing is reality (as if I can see through my closed eyelids), not just a dream.

The other night I had such an experience, where I thought I'd woken up. My laptop was still turned on and next to me on the bed (sometimes I play ASMR videos as I fall asleep), and I reached over and clicked 'x' to close the tab. Then, I thought I woken up again, for real this time, and I'd reached over and clicked for real, except I missed the 'x' for closing the tab and clicked somewhere in the middle of the screen.

Now I think I might be 'misremembering' these events, and perhaps the dreams never matched reality at all, and it was a double false awakening.

I was thinking i still lived in Bloomfield PA. That I also lived in MD and was commuting back and forth. I was at my college. They told me I could keep going, I didn't have to pay it was already paid. I didn't worry about not knowing my classes. (does everyone post-college have those dreams? Where you forget you're not in college and you're there but you don't know your schedule?)

Later I was having a blind dream. I was trying to go somewhere ann demons were making me see only black and white and I struggled and then woke up.

I dreamt I was going through a city, floating on top of some kind of ball (like one of those large balls you use for working out. I just lay on top of the ball, which hovered despite being filled with air. I even thought it would work better if it was helium. Anyway... I practiced maneuvering and turning, and thought it was good practice for my flying dreams, where I often have trouble turning... Ironic! After a while I arrived at my destination (a train station?). I got off the ball, and noticed the "event" was just starting. There was a countdown which ended just as a walked in, and I thought to myself "right on time".

I was awake, but decided to close my eyes a bit more as I was still really tired. In the darkness behind my eyelids, I saw a line. I focused on it, and more lines appeared, and formed a shape. It looked like a watch, or no - a compass. Four lines, arrows - one in every direction. Detail increased, and now I saw it was beautifully adorned with all manner of embellishments. Then I saw what looked like text... but it was outside of the compass. I now saw the compass was a drawing written on the right page of an old book. I could read the text - it was in Dutch, but I can't remember what it said. I was distracted by something in real life, and briefly opened my eyes. I lost the vision right there and then, and was unable to continue when I closed my eyes again.

I had 45 minutes until it was time for me to get ready for work. I thought, "aw what the hell, let's get a lucid dream for the fun it." I lay in my bed and focus on the center of my head. The center being if you were to stab a skewer into one earhole and out the other; the midpoint of that skewer would be my point of focus. This is right around the area where the pineal gland is inside the brain. The transition happened and I was stuck standing next to my bed for 30 seconds without any motor abilities. My body would not move and my eyes would not open but half way.

My room was different. It felt very empty.

Morning: (somewhere along 5am-7am)

I was staying in a mansion of sorts. Reminds me somehow of Victorias. There was very white pug that wants to be scratched on the belly. I was waiting for someone or some people. There were cars. The place feels familiar from another dream.

Afternoon-Evenng: (around 5pm-7pm)

I was looking for something. I ended up near or on the old place I was renting (doesn't look like it IRL). Some people are renting the place. I needed to get something there or do something. A massage? I went in. Lico was there? It wasn't him at first. There are two other rooms. One room was for business. I asked for the price. I got an answer but forgot it immediately. It was a decent, big office but mostly empty. I thought it'd be great to have the center there. It's in Mandaluyong.

I went in. It was dark but not blinding dark. Just no light but I can see a bit. The landlady(?) handed me the papers but gave it to Lico first for checking. I asked again about the rent. I think I mentioned 18k, but I think she scoffed. I told Lico I'll just ask her when she's not busy since she seems to be going about. I left along with the others. I thought about how nice would be to stay in that place. Then I realized everybody left, and the place would be empty. I wondered if it's for rent now, and if I can get a discount. That would be nice: a place all for me.

We walked down the stairs and along the street. It was evening, and it felt more like a medieval evening with its cobblestone sidewalk, not the light-filled evening of Metro Manila. It's reminiscent of a 3 a.m. Manila. Mostly quiet, few people about. A hint of danger.

We kind of got separated, some of us walking with others. I was kind of in the middle. In the back, I saw two of ours (a male and a female) approach another (a couple of males). The approached male reminds me of a BL actor. They were all wearing black suit/pants/dress. We continued walking.

We somehow ended up near the shore. And then I noticed that some of our group that went ahead are walking and almost drowning in the water. They just kept walking. Some of us realized and helped them. However, an old man and an old woman are already dead, and somehow both naked.

Somehow it seems that some of us were possessed or pretended to be possessed and killed them. One guy in particular was walking and I felt like kicking him in the face. Not sure if he was lying. It was daytime then.

1: In a city that resembles a fusion of Harrogate and Ripon. I know it is near Hull. With my uni friends. We are discussing disatisfaction with our course. The streets have shops that are each based on a single animated Disney film. An odd scene where I pull my own left nipple off. No pain or any reaction at all, really. I think at some point I was trying to avoid someone.

2: Nana's house. Looking through old ps1 games. Instead of regular discs, each game is saved on a small, black circle that resemble fridge magnets. I recall an animaniacs, a Donald Duck and a sonic game. Myuncle is there and some of the games are his. I drop one of the "discs" but after a bit of fumbling I recover it. We play Sonic, but the game appears to be a sevely altered version of Sonic heroes that changes into a more accurate version of sonic Genearations. I notice this, but dont become lucid.

3: At my house. Night time. Old primary school teacher knocks on the door and passes a letter through informing us she wants to help. My mom insults the letter for being messy and expresses ridicule at how she ever became a teacher.

4: Still night. I'm making my way through our neighborhood, occasionally taking to the roofs, looking for someone. Quite vivid.

5: In the fusion city. Been barred from a shop. Go wandering. See my boss in a barbers getting a haircut. H eorders a drink from the barbers in a loud voice I can hear from across the street. I walk on. A vivid scene of standing at the top of an escalator with a pretty girl. She doesn't seem happy with me. After travelling for an hour dream time, I realise that I am so far away that even if I start back now, I can't get back to work on time. I then realise that I don't care and keep moving.


All in all, an odd collection. More bleak and depressing than my usual dreams are.

I walked up a mountain at a street. The street started to be very slippery. A some point I decided to turn back because of it. I slid down the street and flew in a village. I became lucid. Somehow I felt a bit confused and headed towards the forest. Then I woke up.

This was my first induced lucid in a long time. I tuck a break from lucid dreaming and now started again. Although I had some random lucids in between

Dream 1:
I insert a house from some distant relative. The house is big but with old fashioned furnitures and decorations. My girlfriend and I moved there but we struggle with a clause that forced us to split the house with the former owner's horse, which must live inside the house with us otherwise we lose the possession of the mansion. The horse is beautiful and with a nice temper but we are not completely satisfied because of the peculiar situation.

Dream 2: I work in a prison and we are in the middle of a very big wedding party which all the inmates are invited. At a certain point a controversial event takes place and the inmates start to demonstrate against the security. The security did its job and forced the inmates inside their own cells. In the act of discussing the events with a prison resource manager, it reveals me that the whole event was actually a test planned in its minutest detail, and that The Netherlands is the most advanced country in the world in this kind of event planning.

Both my dreams have been acted in English.

Morning of September 13, 2012. Thursday.



I become lucid in a slow entry transition (the usual lucid and willfully manipulated hypnagogia after making love in real life) and our bedroom takes on different features.

Of course, there is still the residual energy of wanting more intimacy and sustained harmony. Zsuzsanna and I eat strawberries (on a small yellow plate) at one point.

After our romance and intimacy, I am somewhat in a non-lucid state now. I become puzzled, more over my decreasing level of awareness (but which vivifies in the last scene) than by the fact our bedroom is rendered with the wrong layout (not directly linked to the lounge room and kitchen as it is in real life). The paint on the horizontal wall boards is peeling (yet it was not before) which I vaguely recall means that my dream is beginning to ebb, yet my lucidity is no longer viable.

I feel an urge to see if the door is open and it is. I approach the doorway. There is nothing visible beyond. I feel puzzled by an anticipatory mood emerging from within me.

The Cat in the Hat’s hat appears in the doorway, though with no cat. It floats in the air, tips slightly forward and I feel amused, waking with cheerfulness and humor.

---

This dream has the usual dynamics as have been in the same sequential components (through tens of thousands of dreams) since early childhood, though I have grown to appreciate, enjoy, and greatly respect how the nuances are always slightly different.

Firstly, it is doorway waking symbolism, where a doorway is rendered as the dream’s implied exit point as an emergent consciousness factor (sometimes triggered by real-life environmental noise but not always, as the reticular activating system often uses the memory of a door knock or door-opening sound to activate waking, though no door knock occurs in this case).

Secondly, the sense of puzzlement is what causes the stovepipe hat to be rendered. Although “The Skunk” is an early childhood dream from 1965, it has very similar dynamics, where the white part of the skunk formed a question mark when I entered the higher liminal space of unconsciousness while becoming closer to consciousness (and also ends with doorway waking symbolism). Stovepipe hats represent the emergent consciousness and the concept is related to “put on your thinking cap” as analogous to waking from the dream state (emergence of thinking skills which the non-lucid dream self does not possess). They have featured as such in a number of my dreams since childhood.

Finally, the essence of a cat is linked but not fully. Depending on the dream of course, cats often serve as a liminal space symbol. This is mainly because of my childhood association of a cat sitting on a fence, a fence being the division between unconsciousness and emerging consciousness.

---

I SO wish I remembered more of last nights dreams!!!

I recall a man somehow tied in to me. He had cucumber slices on his face and many, many eyes.

In another dream, there were people with a third eye in the center of their head... but one boy, from the US didn’t have a true eye. When you first saw him, he had just a slight bump, but then it got bigger and bigger. It was some kind of wart. It expanded out, almost like a horn, it got bigger still until it was larger then everyone in the audience and consumed the boy. It looked like neither a horn nor a wart. It was ridged where it kept expanding, but it was expanding at the base.

Another dream was a zombie dream. But it was more old school video game meets zombies meets real life. I was in a swarm of zombies, weaving through them, trying to reach giant crystals for a speed boost what game did that come from? Sonic? Mario Cart?

Oh yeah, in yet another dream I kept passing signs in a foreign language. I kept asking a guy to translate them for me.

Oh yeah (again lol) in another dream, I was at my Grams house. My uncle was apologizing for not improving the yard. I was confused why he was making a big fuss about it. It was there yard. If they wanted dog and horse poop everywhere, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. My Grams explained it was because of the kids who play in the yard, and also because they weren’t allowed to park along the road any more....then I was swimming and my uncle was upset because I was too pretty and getting too much attention which was making him jealous (my Uncles IRL were mentally disabled. The uncle in the dream was like a mesh of those 3 in one).

Another dream was about brothers. One was beating the other and one was being sexually abused. I recall them scurrying through a small window, running, getting into trouble but that’s it.
That’s been a strange, recurring dream lately. I keep dreaming about brothers and sexual abuse.
In a dream earlier this week, I dreamed a man went back in time so he could rape his younger self. What the heck? I can usually tell or guess the origin of my dreams...

Unless the brother dreams come from a show I was binging called “Bloodline”. Okay. I can see that giving me the brothers, it what about the sexual abuse? Maybe that’s coming from the news and all the allegations against Hollywood. Hmmmm...

In dream, my appearance is different, presumably roleplaying some random guy. I have short black hair that is graying on the sides, and I am to meet this woman (my girlfriend/fiance/wife) for a dinner date at a fancy restaurant on top of a skyscraper. However she stands me up and because it is a couples restaurant I am going to get kicked out if my date does not show up soon.

I call her and she says she's mad at me but she won't tell me why. (As in that was literally her exacting dialogue.) "I'm mad at you but I won't tell you why." I think this is kind of bizarre. There's also some kind of rule in the restaurant that you have to finish all of the food at your table, and since the girl doesn't show up but her food has already been ordered I have to eat her meal as well as mine, get sick from eating too much and throw up.

I start thinking about how I should be at home working on college assignments and how going on dates is really out of character for me. I become semi-lucid, only for a moment and soft reset the dream. I manage to remove the plot line and revert my appearance to my typical dream-self but lose control after that and lost lucidity. The dream repeats in some manner.

Manei appears in the restaurant wearing a sequined red dress. Apparently she was so stunning that everyone started clapping and cheering for her. Except me was just looking down at the pile of puke that was still in my lap, thinking about how I might be about to add more to it. The dream had become wrought with that queasy I've-eaten-too-much overfull feeling, and I started looking for an a

I false awaken in my living room. Manei is there watching TV. I become lucid again.

"I love how a traditional date night is more terrifying to you than an actual nightmare." She said sarcastically.

I assumed she was the one creating the previous dream scene and responded. "Only when you contrive it like that. Besides, it seems like someone likes to Mary Sue."

...

At some point we were playing Lego Star wars togther on the playstation in the Living room.

...

At another point, I am practicing my Fire Jets. We have both shrunk to only a couple inches tall but are still in my living room. Apparently I figured out I could project them to Manei and give her the ability, but not keep it myself. She flies up onto the seat of the couch and spins around in the air.

-+-

I managed to complete my lightsaber fight dream goal sometime after the competition. I don't know why exactly I wound up having a lucid dream pertaining to it, as it was sort of a joke goal and one that I had just made up in the spur of the moment. That wasn't to say I was completely unenthusiastic about the idea, just wouldn't have made it a priority is all.

I recall the setting being very vivid. It was a grassy plain surrounded on three sides by a dense thicket of tropical plants, and on the remaining side by to large rock mesas with a terraced platform in-between. Large bismuth crystals, some much taller than me, emerged from the ground in the plain. Farros was on the horizon, so we were clearly somewhere out on the proper dreamscape.

Manei appeared and we were both wearing jedi robes. She pulled out a green double bladed lightsaber and we started fighting. She showed me some move using the force where she could through a saber out and attack the person from a distance by controlling it precisely with force pushes and pulls and begged the question of why adequately powerful characters in star wars never thought of fighting like this. I said that it was a good point, and I would have to ask someone knowledgeable of SW canon why that was.

At some point she managed to cut me in half at the waist. I 'died' and began floating upwards as a spirit. I willed my body to reform and reappeared in the physical realm. I got distracted and started examining my previous body, noting the extreme realism of the face when I touched it.

-+-

The Steven Universe episode started with Steven in his house with Connie. The two were building models of star wars spaceships. Steven built a model of this blue and white ship that had a long mast and two big engine pods. Somebody wrote the network because they thought the model ship he built looked too much like a penis when it was supposed to look like a guitar.

Rebecca sugar appeared on the show in animated form alongside Garnet and started talking in a manner akin to a PSA to the audience about being honest about your sexuality and the kind of music you like. She then adressed that someone called the network complaining about how the blue ship looked. Pearl was arguing with amethyst offscreen and Amethyst punched her. Pearl flew onto the screen and then turned to where Amethyst was and screamed

"I AM THE UGLIEST SPACE GIRAFFE!"

Amethyst started laughing. The scene changed to outdoors on the beach. Greg was cooking hamburgers on a grill and Sadie started talking about how she had become a vegan and how hamburgers were made from cows that weren't humanely raised or killed. This gem appeared that was (amber I think) and looked like a cowgirl. She was the antagonist and summoned a gun from her gem on her shoulder.

"Its not over until the fat lady sings. That's from the phantom of the opera! I'm the fat lady here and I say its over!" Shouts amethyst as she charges in to fight, but gets beat up.

...

The characters end up escaping on a world war 1 battleship and going out to sea. But the boat gets hit by a large wave and Steven and Pearl fall into the water and have to preform fusion to get out. They fuse and curiously become OG Rose Quartz. Asokah Tano from TCW cartoon appears and helps them get out of the water and onto a large rock in the middle of the ocean. When she does, the two unfuse.

Asokah stands up triumphantly and says "All my fan theories were right! Take that Ronaldo!"

-+-

In another dream I became lucid. But it wound up being one of those empty lucid dreams. I was in my house and I walked outside to see nobody. I thought of how I considered when I find myself in an empty lucid dream, I should start running from my house until I get away from the part of my town that I have a mental map of, and this should trigger the dream to do something interesting and break the empty dream.

-+-

I had another Star Wars themed dream. (I'm surprised how many of these there have been lately). General Grievous came out of my toilet and started attacking me. I ran out the back door of my house where he followed me and then proceeded to kill my grandmother with his claw foot. I became lucid and reached behind my back to get lightsabers to fight him.

I managed to stun him and he fell over. I kept pulling more and more sabres from behind my back and stabbing them into his limbs. They had some bizarre behavior in that they would stick in the ground like regular metal swords of spears instead of sinking into the ground or turning off as they normally would. No matter how many times I impaled the villain he just coughed and struggled but didn't truly die.

-+-

I was in a gymnasium. It looked like the gymnasium from my middle school but was rotated weirdly and had large windows near the ceiling. We were going to be running this race to raise money for people affected by a hurricane and some people (including my old high school crush) were there. I became semi lucid upon realizing she was there and didn't want to have an interaction with her; I didn't even want to look in her direction.

I turned to my friend S who was also there. He asked me why I didn't want to look at her. I responded by saying:

"My draw to her was one of lust, not of love. She needs to leave this place and be forgotten as all lost sparks do."

We went on to discuss how I felt it was unhealthy that I had a subconscious obsession with her, one that I could not smite despite my best efforts.

...

I had another empty lucid dream, the morning before posting this. I false awoke in my bedroom, only the layout of my bedroom and the entire house was mirrored. I got out of bed, already suspicious of my reality, and headed into the bathroom. When I saw myself in the mirror, I looked like a much younger version of myself with short hair and a fatter stomach. When I breathed in and out, I would make this high-pitched squeaking noise like a dog toy and there were red spots around my stomach and chest that would expand and contract with my breathing.

I RC'd via nose pinch and became lucid. I started heading outside when I lost the dream and woke up.

D1 - Trying to get somewhere as usual. Lost my way on a track through some woods, I come out into the open air there is a large glassy pool of dark water to my right. I have no idea which way to go.

D2 - I am cosy in bed, early morning I get up to go somewhere but on coming out of the door I am presented with a series of landings that all look the same and are just other people apartments. The carpet is old and red and faded, looking familiar from somewhere long ago. So as not to lose my way back, I hurriedly get back indoors.

I unintentionally did a wbtb. As my eyes were close the darkness began to have color and I found it that my eyes had open on their own without my permission. I was staring at the window and for some reason it was dark outside. This isn't right I thought to myself, I'm very late for work now and I swear it feels like it has only been 10 mins since I lay down to sleep.

I started speculating that this is a dream so I look out the window and found it hard to focus on pretty much anything. Everything look blurry. My television at the back of my eyes look like it disappear but appeared suddenly when I expected to see it. This is when I did an RC of the nose to test if it is a dream or not. I could breathe through it so I realize I am dreaming. I then woke up.