lucid

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.

Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.

With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.

The first thing I remember was being in a McDonald's restaurant, they had a promotion related to Pokémon Sword and Shield, each starter Pokémon had a limited edition menu item attached to it,

Something along the lines of...

• Scorbunny having like tomato-flavor fries
• Grookey having some kind of "fruit" related item
• Sobble having... some kind of... drink???
• Also I think there was some some burger related to the legendaries.

After some period of time, I got involved in some superhero plot, and after breaking a new speed record for flight, I discovered I was in some kind of CGI animated movie, along the lines of a more adult version of some of DreamWorks' properties (i.e. Megamind & Monsters vs. Aliens). The whole plot was that the current president in the film (not Donald Trump) was some kind of superhero with a 50s-style secret base with a hi-tech red plastic communal shower. The most amount of characterisation I remember out of him was the fact he was a socially out of touch party animal.

Eventually he got elected out of office and replaced with George Bush (neither junior or senior, he looked like a weird amalgamation of the two), who was a stereotypical villain, dancing to the following song as he made his moves on the old president's love interest



Also, I only called "super president" after I woke up.

Early Evening of November 18, 2019. Monday.

Dream #: 19,327-09. Reading time (optimized): 30 sec.



In my lucid dream, my dream self is in a shopping mall in the main area, probably Hinkler Central. Green Lantern approaches and hands me a rough sketch of an Angry Bird. When I look at it, I wake with an intense but brief hypnopompic abdominal spasm.

---

Despite my imaginary experience starting with lucidity, my instinctual modulation of vestibular system correlation (as a result of the lack of discernment of my physical body while in the dream state) resulted in transferring falling start anticipation and its dynamics, typically lighter and whole body, into jolting where instinctual modulation originates from, around my belly button. My dream’s content is otherwise incidental to the processes other than most often having flight associations despite this trigger being a static image.

---

I found myself at a dinner table and was sitting across from a woman wearing a white tealish dress, next to a man in a white suit. The woman was talking about how their religions may different but that a popular rapper who has passed away last year named XXXTentacion. Was trying to connect with other people and how we needed to care about each other despite our differences.

As she continue to talk, I notice I was lying in my bed anymore and started questioning if I was in a dream or not. I look around the area as I remember being in the hypnagogic state. I assumed I was dreaming and got up from the table to go to the restroom to see myself in a mirror. As I got up and started quickly walking to the restroom, everything went black and I could only feel the motion of moving.

I thought I woke up but could still only feel my feet walking against the carpet and moving around. I then lost lucidity.


A new dream started and I found myself on the side walk with a few other employee's that I knew. The sun was going down and I could tell it was the afternoon. I hang around my co-workers for a little bit before going to a large tree that had a window like room inside of it. I open the door and saw a boxing ring and a punching bag. I pick up the red gloves and started shadow boxing and then I continue my momentum on the punching bag, by connecting my 1,2,3. Once I started getting in to the groove, a man open the door who was wearing a blown up jacket and a beenie. He looked at me and it was already written on his face.

He wanted me to get out and that I wasn't suppose to be here. So I took the gloves off and look at him and gesture the I need to go look? He did a hand sign that suggested that yea I don't why you are here but you gotta go. So with that I got up from laying on the boxing ring floor and decided to head out the door I came from. As I did I notice it was a bit darker now and that my co-workers were all going in for work now. I follow their lead to the door and enter inside.
Once we made it inside I notice a lot of my co-workers brought sleeping bags, I had no idea why. There was also a police officer next to me which was also strange but I ignore it.

We weren't working and everyone was either standing,sitting or laying on the floor. Because I was still exhausted from my boxing session, I decided to lay on the hard floor which now that I think of it made little to no sense. I am laying there looking at the cop as he hears the news play on a nearby TV. We both then tense up when we heard there was a gunman in our area. He started moving fast and I decided to get up from the floor. When I got up I hear the door burst open with two gunmen holding a rifle walk through.

A lot of people started screaming and panic, I notice a few people slipping through the door they just came from, rather than trying to tackle or stop the two guys. I follow their plan and notice that they were not looking at me. I slide through the door and made my way out to the night. I saw where my other co-workers were going so I went with them. We went to another building and people started pulling out sleeping bags again. I was confuse and I wanted to have one too. As I am laying on the floor trying to rationalize once happening. It hit me that all of this seem a little odd. I began to wonder if it were a dream and performed an RC to verify it.

The RC failed and therefor, I knew I was in a dream. A lot of people look at me and said "Are you crazy, how are we in a dream at a time like this" I laugh and ignore their panic and anxiety. I went through a mirror and began to make an attempt to fly. However turns out I still a novice at flying and began to fall some what slowly down. I then hit a tree and marvel at how the outside looks and how I could feel the wind blowing against me and the leaves felt wonderful. I then let go of the tree making another attempt to fly but still I fell in till I collided with another tree. After I crash in to this tree I felt myself feeling off. Everything started going black and I found myself in a different place.

There was no scene really it was like a movie, show casting different people that look more like cartoons than human beings. I then went from 3rd person point of view to 1st person and was now lucid again. I walk around the dark lit classroom, and saw the cartoon like people looking at me. I interacted with a few dream characters before the dream ended.

Once it ended I found myself in my room waking up next to my dresser being on my bed. Everything look more vivid and the colors were intensified. I wonder if I was awake as I could hear my brother say he is awake in the other room. My mother was just coming to my room to check on me but then I woke up again. I was in my room and I saw my mother sitting on the floor next to the handle of bed. My mother look at me as my eyes opened and said my name and if I was awake. Then I notice my brother was there too and was saying hello to me. I open my eyes and did an RC. My RC failed, so I jump out of my bed ignoring them and went through my window completely lucid. I live in a 3 story apartment on the 3rd floor so I quickly tried to fly but began falling down. As I am falling I see a little girl in pink pajama's flew up like superman with no effort at all.

Stunned and amaze I look at her as she flies away. I then look around the area and notice how beautiful everything look. The color of the line of tree's were now a pink velvet appeal. With some green grass coming from some of them. There was also a few brown wooded fences and the new color leaves of these trees all over the one way road. It was honestly breath taking. As I admire the beauty I notice a girl no older than 14 walking. She notice me and started walking the other way to other kids. These other kids were much younger. There was 2 more little girls around age 5 to 7 and a boy who look to be about 6. All of them had brownish blonde hair and were all in pajama's. As I walk to them they ask me where was I from. I laugh and replied with America, I ask them where they were from. They both gave out the same answer and said sdjffpiejf. That's literally how it sounded to me and I just took that as I began to notice how strange the place I am in look.

The sky was a very light greenish yellow look and it just made me feel like I was on another planet when I saw these odd looking animals move buffering like in the sky. It look like they were meant to be sheep's but had some very unusual and unique altering. Basically the legs were right and half of the head but the rest look like they were fuse with clouds and had a mini white wagon on top of them which I assume is their back that kept causing cloud like mist to ease out of their back. I was so in awe by their otherworldly appearance that the kids started telling me to run because they were dangerous.

I notice the dream scene started to shake and turn in to blackness. The children disappear in to the darkness as I couldn't take my eyes off these majestic looking creatures. They move so odd like in the air and sounded distorted. Then as they were very close to me everything went black. I woke lying in my bed and my room was now dark. I assume it was night but like before the first thing I did was an RC. My RC FAILED, so I got up knew I was in a dream. Just like before I jump out of my window and attempted to fly again. The sky was very dark though and I couldn't see much. So I stop myself in the air and focus on my intention to make the sky lighter. I raised my hand and the night sky became a little bit easier to see through.

I felt good, I started looking down from the air and notice that their were houses and buildings with street lights on the one way road now. I decided that its better if I go inside a house instead of remaining outside. I flew down to the road and open a random house that I saw. As I open it I realize the inside look exactly like the town house I lived in so long ago. The lights were off in the living room and I could see someone was laying there on the floor. I tried to turn on the light switch but the lights still didn't come on. It was okay with me though. I check to see who it was laying there and seem to be a baby.

I then see a woman laying on the floor she looked like someone I knew on social media. I could hear my grandmother voice complaining about something on the TV. After that I woke up.

2019, 11-06

Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 2

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am back in the dream and lucid now. Hiei says he’s glad I got back before he had to kill Ulfric. I look and see Ulfric is still bound to the throne, but clearly alive. Now Hiei and I start fighting for real. I can hear Disturbed playing… “Need to get psycho, wanna hear you scream! Tell me to take you, scare you, fuck you, after we finish the show! It's not enough, you hunger for more? You're one twisted little fuck, and now you wanna get psycho with me!” I use Battery to call a bolt of lightning, Hiei teleports just before getting hit. He appears behind me and uses more of those tendrils, I cut through them with my blade. I use Enter Sandman by Metallica to create a vortex of light and dark energy that explode around Hiei… Hiei is gone and behind me just before it goes off. Hiei uses a dark energy blade to attack me, I block with my Alex Mercer blade. There is a dark energy explosion between us that forces both of us apart. Hiei looks like he’s having fun. He teleports again then I find the dark energy tendrils closing from all directions. I form my Alex Mercer blade into a ring around me with edges still as sharp as the blade. The circle cuts through all the tendrils before they reach me. Hiei is just too fast to hit!

Then I remember I am in Skyrim VR, so I use a different shout… the Slow Time shout. “TIID-KLO-UL!” Everything around me slows down, which just means Hiei is moving at a more normal speed. “Hear me now! Feel my blade! There is no more time for apologies. Malevolent emotions take hold of me! Are you ready to begin your trip to the other side? Death is an old friend of mine!” Just because Hiei is moving a normal speed doesn’t make him easy to hit. We trade attacks for a bit longer until I send my Alex Mercer tendrils down into the stone floor to have them erupt behind Hiei. As that is happening, I attack head on with my blade to keep him focused on me. He dodges my blade attack but gets hit with the tendrils as they erupt from the floor. It looks like the tendrils tear him apart, but then he reforms right in front of me with a big grin on his face. He says it’s been fun, but he’s got to go. Don’t worry, Ulfric can live. He calls the bindings off of Ulfric and absorbs them. He then says he wasn’t using his full power, but he knows I wasn’t, either. He disappears from sight.

Ulfric has come down to me and wants to know who that was. I tell him I’m not certain. Ulfric wants to know what’s to keep him from coming back. I say if he is who he looks like, he will honor his word. Ulfric seems to be trying to hide the fact he is worried that Hiei might come back to kill him. I tell Ulfric I don’t think Hiei will be back. Just to prove me wrong, Hiei appears. Ulfric backs away before he can stop himself, then holds his ground. Hiei laughs and tells Ulfric to relax, he’ll keep his word. He looks at me and says he just wanted to say I was right, killing Thalmor is loads of fun! Elven supremacy, such arrogance! And they are pathetic when they beg for mercy! He says they have scattered into the forest and now he’s going hunting. He disappears. Ulfric doesn’t seem convinced Hiei won’t be back. I give Ulfric a Witchblade with a light and dark energy shard. I say it can form armor, weapons, the energy crystals mean it can protect him from Hiei’s energy. He puts the Witchblade on and starts trying out the weapons and armor. The dark energy crystal absorbs the dark force fields, allowing everyone in. Everyone wants to know what happened, I wake before having to deal with any of them.

2019, 11-06

Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 1

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at my home. It looks like it is Thanksgiving. My mom is preparing a big meal and there are a bunch of people around that I don’t know. I also see my brother and my grandmother, who are both dead. There is not much to be done to prepare dinner, so I go outside to wait. There are numerous vehicles parked in our yard. As I am standing there a really old Cadillac enters and parks carelessly behind another car. The door opens and my ex-boyfriend James steps out. Who invited him? I am thinking my mom invited him, though I can’t imagine why. James gets out of the car and heads towards the house without seeming to notice me. I decide that’s fine and I also go inside. My mom now says dinner is not almost ready and we will have to wait a couple more hours. I don’t want to talk to anyone around me so I go put on my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

When the game starts I find I’m in the Palace of the Kings standing near Ulfric Stormcloak. Ulfric is sitting on his throne looking at me. I can’t remember why I came in here. Ulfric says he’s glad I’m here. I think he’s going to say something else when I see someone behind me. The visitor smiles. He looks like Hiei from the YuYu Hakusho anime. He looks at Ulfric, then back at me. He asks if I’m here to kill Ulfric or should he go ahead and do it? Ulfric asks who in Oblivion Hiei thinks he is. I sense dark energy in Hiei, so I get between Ulfric and Hiei. I tell Hiei no one is going to kill Ulfric… now what does he want here? He says that sounds good. He will try to kill Ulfric and I will defend him. I see Ulfric looking more annoyed. Hiei says he hates escort missions, so let’s make it a straight fight instead. He and I will fight. If he wins, he will kill Ulfric. If I win, he will leave Ulfric alone. So will I accept that challenge?

I say ok, Hiei against me, one on one. Ulfric asks Hiei what makes him think he can walk in here and… I interrupt and tell Ulfric to stay out of it. Ulfric starts to object again, but Hiei fires black tendrils from his hand and they effectively bind Ulfric to the throne. He says he agrees, Ulfric should stay out of it. Galmar tries to come into the room but Hiei blocks all of the doors into the room with a dark energy force field. He says now no one will interrupt us. There is a sound like thunder as Ulfric lets off a fus in Hiei’s general direction. Hiei holds his nose and says he should kill the idiot for raising such a stink. He throws a blob of black stuff that covers Ulfric’s mouth. He tells Ulfric to shut up, then he tells me let’s get on with it!

Since I’m playing Skyrim VR, the first thing I try to do is fus Hiei. That does nothing at all. Hiei makes fun of it, he says I’d better be able to do something better than send my bad breath his way or he’s going to have to level this whole city to make the trip here worthwhile. He sends out a bunch of tendrils like spears that actually punch right through my body, but I feel nothing but slight irritation as I look at the holes he made in my Assassin’s Creed robes. In an irritated way I tell Hiei that he ruined my robes… that’s just rude. And I decide to go full Alex Mercer on his ass. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut his tendrils off. I absorb the part that has penetrated my body like Alex Mercer would in order to get a sampling of Hiei’s energy. The wounds heal instantly. I am about to make another move but instead I wake up. I don’t like how I left the dream so I roll over and focus on getting back into the dream, I manage a DEILD!

2019, 11-05

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

The Dark Tower: Thalmor Ambush

I am in an underground passage with some other people. The passage is very small and I am feeling claustrophobic, but the other people don’t seem to think anything of it. They must be used to it. I know they have resorted to living underground like this to avoid some dangerous enemies on the surface, but I don’t want to stay here any longer. I am asking people how to get out. They finally show me the way to an exit. They are cautioning me to be careful, but I tell them I can take care of myself. I am clearly remembering my dream powers but I am not thinking about the fact it’s a dream, so I am now semi-lucid.

I have to crawl through the tunnel and some thick foliage to get out. I look back to see the passage is completely hidden by thick dead looking bushes and under a rocky outcropping. I see that the rocks are not far from a beach. I head towards the waves. It is shortly after dawn and the sun is rising behind me. I see a man on the beach. I approach him, he doesn’t look good. I see it is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. He has his right hand wrapped in a bloody rag and I realize this is in the second book shortly after a lobstrosity bit two fingers off. I approach Roland. He seems unsure if I might be a mirage. I tell him I can heal the physical wounds, but the poison may still follow its course. I carefully remove the bloody rag and focus healing energy. The missing fingers regenerate slowly.

Roland seems better now and more able to continue. He thanks me for my help, though he’s unsure of how I did it… the man he’s pursuing can create the illusion of healing. I say I don’t use illusion, I use the light energy. I look Roland over and I note that he has the Horn of Eld hanging around his neck. That is good, so at least there’s a chance of this not looping again. Roland is ready to continue down the beach, so I go with him. It doesn’t seem long enough before there is a door in front of us. I look at the door, expecting to see the words “The Prisoner” on it. Instead of that I see the word “Skyrim” on it. Roland asks what that means and tell him I have no clue, it’s not what I expected.

The door opens and three Thalmor come through. Two are mutant Thalmor that look like the hulk, and the third one looks like he’s been assimilated by the Borg. Borg Thalmor says Roland and I are becoming a pain in the arse, how many times do we have to be sent to the start before we realize it is useless to resist? He says to give up before they make things more difficult than a simple time loop. Roland says he will never cry off. The Thalmor says he expected that response. He tells the two hulk Thalmor to see how Roland and I like having our limbs ripped off to die in our own blood. I form my arm into an Alex Mercer blade. A hulk Thalmor comes at me. My blade cuts right through his sword and through the arm wielding it. He seems to not feel any pain, but the removal of his head puts a stop to him. I then remove the head of the other one as he is approaching Roland. The door collapses and turns to dust.

Roland looks annoyed. He says he now has his answer about his bullets getting wet, now there’s no way to know how many or if any of his remaining rounds will fire. I am not entirely sure what to do. Will bullets stop those weird Thalmor? Shooting them in the head should still work. But before I can do anything about giving Roland more bullets I wake up.

2019, 11-04

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

2019, 11-04

Skyrim: Déjà Vu

I am going down the street on my way to Windhelm in my game of Skyrim VR. I spot some special friends ahead. There are three Thalmor escorting a prisoner. I walk over to them. The lead Thalmor tells me to go away. I cut the prisoner free and give him my electric sword that I got from Balgruuf. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade. As the Thalmor attack I start with a fus, though since it’s only one word it just staggers them. The prisoner and I still make quick work of the Thalmor. I set to looting the dead Thalmor. One of them was a woman about my size, so her elven armor is now mine. It’s too bad I damaged it… The prisoner and I he will head for Windhelm.

We reach Windhelm with no problems. I find the blacksmith. I ask if he can repair the armor and he says yes. I leave it with him. I have to talk to Viola Giordano, but first I have to turn subtitles on. I can’t figure out how to do that. I am distracted by Rolff harassing Suvaris. Rolff breaks off his verbal assault on Suvaris to ask what I’m staring at. He calls me an elf lover. I call him dickless. He tries to get in my face so I fus him. The loser calls for a guard and says I assaulted him. I call him dickless again. The guard asks if it’s true. I respond, “It is true… this man has no dick.” Rolff says his dick is huge. I say I’m sure it is… for a grain of rice. He tells me to take that back. The guard says we should go in opposite directions, he wants no trouble.

I head to the Palace of the Kings. Ulfric is talking to Galmar about Whiterun, He says he would like to take the city with no bloodshed. He sits down on the throne. I approach Ulfric. He says he remembers me. I say yes, I was at Helgen. He says no, he remembers me from before that… or after? It’s unclear to him. He asks how many times this makes. I am quite confused now. I ask how many times for what? He asks how many times have I repeated this? He says he remembers enough to know we’ve done this before, but in Helgen I said I have done it “sooooo many times” so he is asking how many times. This has taken me by surprise, how can Ulfric remember a past game? I finally say I’ve lost count.

Now things get back on track. Ulfric says I should talk to Galmar about joining the Stormcloaks. I have barely gotten out, “I can’t…” when Ulfric goes off script again. He says he remembers I won’t join unless he gives his word that all races in Skyrim will be treated equally, especially the Dunmer in the Gray Quarter. But he has heard rumors that someone there is capturing citizens of Skyrim and sending them… somewhere… to be used as slaves. Ulfric knows the Project AHO mod?! How?! He says if I investigate and find the rumor false or if I find the rumor true and put a stop to it, he will see to improvements in the Gray Quarter, he knows Brunwulf would be glad to take on the project. But he will NOT do so if there’s a chance those blasted elves are sending Skyrim citizens into slavery. He says he doesn’t have the people to investigate, but he will trust my findings. I am still trying to figure out how Ulfric can be reacting to a mod that shouldn’t affect him. A mod I don’t even have active! I tell Ulfric I don’t think anyone in the Gray Quarter is involved, there’s an Orc kidnapping people near Mixwater Mill… but if it will help things move forward then I will check.

I leave the Palace of the Kings. The next normal stop I would make is High Hrothgar to see the Graybeards. But this is going strangely. I am trying to figure out what is going on when Rolff tells me to get the fuck out of his city. I tell him to cram it up his ass. I wonder what I have to do to prove that no one in the Gray Quarter is involved with slavery. Then I wonder about the guy at the Corner Club, he has clearly expressed that he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re a Dunmer. Should I investigate that? Well I said I would… Rolff says I should get my worthless elf-loving… His interference has pissed me off. I turn around and, without thinking about it, hit him with a full three-word fus. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff goes flying and crashes into a wall. He collapses, stunned. I am also stunned… I did a full fus! The glitch just happened a bit late! Do I still need to go to High Hrothgar? Probably. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I go to Candlehearth Hall and rent a room. I go to the room and lie down on the bed, falling asleep there and waking up here.

2019, 11-01

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

Skyrim: Dragon Falling

Note: I have been including a lot more detail than I really have time for, so I will try to be a bit more succinct about my journal entries to allow for more postings.

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Whiterun, I am here to deliver the dragonstone to Farengar. I go to Dragonsreach and go to Farengar inside. He is talking to Delphine. I comment that the warrior innkeeper is back. Delphine gives me a strange look. Farengar takes the dragonstone and then the housecarl Irileth comes in to say there’s a dragon attacking. She says Farengar and I should come. As we are leaving the room I pass by Delphine and deliberately comment, “It’s too bad we don’t have any sworn dragon slayers around…” as I look at Delphine. This gets me another strange look from her, then she hurries off.

I go up to talk to Jarl Balgruuf. He says he wants me to help fight the dragon. He even gives me an electrically charged sword. I head to the Western Watchtower where the dragon is attacking. Irileth and several guards come with me. Mirmulnir is attacking the tower. I realize my new sword, or any sword, is useless. I use Battery by Metallica to call lightning down on Mirmulnir. Guards are firing arrows at the dragon. I pause to wonder how Battery is working in Skyrim when Mirmulnir targets me with a blast of fire. I stop questioning and use Whiplash by Metallica to deflect the fire back at Mirmulnir. The dragon is hit by fire and lightning at the same time and crashes to the ground. Irileth jumps onto his head and drives her sword in, killing him. For a bit I think I won’t get the energy rush as usual, but when I get closer I am able to draw the energy in.

After the guards and Irileth debate if I could be dragonborn I head back to Whiterun to report success against the dragon. I hear the Greybeards call as I return to Whiterun. I tell Balgruuf that the dragon is dead and he gives me some heavy armor… I don’t use heavy armor… then I leave. I sell the armor at a local blacksmith since I never use heavy armor. Everyone is saying I should go straight to see the Greybeards, but I always head down to Windhelm after this so I can stop the serial killer there before he kills another victim. I leave Whiterun and head along the road to Windhelm. On the way I find Cicero and his broken wagon wheel. Instead of asking the farmer to help I use a Harry Potter spell, reparo, to fix the wheel myself. He does a happy dance and gives me gold before heading off. I wake up wondering how I didn’t do a reality check when I successfully used Battery and Whiplash in a game of Skyrim.

2019, 10-30

Skyrim: Bleak Falls Barrow

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR, I am exploring Bleak Falls Barrow for what seems like the millionth time. There are bandits at the entrance and I nail them with fireballs when they attack me. To my surprise, one of the bandits actually runs away and doesn’t return to attack again. I go into the barrow and find a few more bandits inside. They have a camp set up and a couple maps, apparently these bandits have heard there is a valuable treasure somewhere in here and they hope to claim it. They attack me on sight and I take them out with fireballs just like the ones outside.

I feel like I’ve played this level a million times, but things seem a bit different. I’m not exactly sure what is different, but something is. Thoughts of it being different slip from my mind as zombies attack. There seem to be more of them than I remember. Maybe I just set the game on a higher difficulty. Yes, that must be the difference. I fight my way through the zombies using fireballs and my sword. It also seems darker in the dungeon than I remember. Did I change the brightness settings? Well this is more realistic… an ancient crypt would be pretty dark.

I continue through the passages, fighting the zombies that attack and finally I reach the chamber with the dragon wall. It looks mostly like I remember it looking in my previous times playing this, and I think any small differences are due to an update on a static mesh improvement mod. I read the word ‘fus’ as it draws my attention right to it and then more draugr attack. There is the boss draugr that comes out of the coffin in front of the dragon wall and three others that I don’t see where they come from. They are all especially weak against fire so I let more fireballs fly.

When the draugr are all re-dead I find the dragonstone map of dragon burial sites in the treasure chest along with some gold. I have to take this back to Whiterun. I leave Bleak Falls Barrow and head down the other side of the mountain towards Whiterun. But I am still on the way when I wake up.

had a dream that my mum wanted to go hajj. then later while talking to my dad he told me that she had left. then i said, in a shaky, almost crying voice that why hadn't she said bye at least. then i ran in to the toilet and some weird stuff happened. i looked in the mirror and then some green goblin appeared. i got so scared. then more weird stuff came up in the mirror then i decided to try put my finger through my palm and i forced it to happen and it did happen. so then i found myself inside water with a whole bunch of fishes just trying to stay calm so i don't go out of this supposed lucid dream. then i tried to change the dream and make some hot woman appear. not happy at all about that since one of the main reasons i decided to not learn lucid dreaming many years ago when i first heard about it was because i thought it wasn't right to just imagine girls and start doing inappropriate stuff. oh well.

#532- DILD

Cutting through a field on foot. I'm looking for a fishing hole but I only have a shovel. I hear something like a lawn mower. I see a guy on a small riding mower doing the fence line. I don't want to be seen because I am trespassing. I turn another direction cut across open grass. My son is following me. I come to a barbwire fence. I have to move logs and random boards. I feel really strong. The ease of it makes me realize it's a dream. I realize the mower sound is probably the fan in the bedroom and my worry of getting caught dissolves.

I decide to try flying but it's like my mind cant generate the view and I get stuck and come down. I around and see and old farm house. I decide jumping on top of the house would give me a good visual. When my feet hit the roof and push off again. I am able to Hoover a bit several yards above the house. I notice how the sun is glinting off metal parts of the drip edge and roof vents. I see a forest in the distance but I cant seem to control my flying. I settle back down on the roof. There is a girl in yard looking up at me. I tell her In flying. She just watches me. Then I see 3 girls at a lemonade stand. I jump down to the ground to investigate. I get a fun idea. I run full speed and drive into the girls and lemonade stand. Ice and water from the ice chest and lemonade from several pitchers explode all over the girls and myself. We all laugh. One of then runs to a large fridge that's sitting in the yard. She goes all the way in then comes out with a half full pitcher of pink lemonade. Shes going to pour on me but I wake up at that moment.
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2019, 10-22

Skyrim: The Endless Loop

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up.

We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop.

Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet…

I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.

Morning of October 18, 2019. Friday.

Dream #: 19,296-12. Reading time: 34 sec.



In the dryad stage, there is liminal ambiguity. The sign of movement and discernment of white (as with a nymph’s elaborate dress) seems to be a misperception. There is no one sitting on the low branch of a big tree in an otherwise open area.

As a result, I walk through the sparse ruins of an unknown town, signifying the dream state is slowly losing cohesion. There is a more clearly defined warehouse (liminal space) I enter.

I find an Egyptian falcon canopic jar (Qebehsenuef). It contains a mummified parrot that comes to life when I hold it. I vividly feel the movement as I hold onto it, even a subtle, pleasing vibration as if from a mild electrical current.

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See also “bird resurrection” (for the explanation of this process) that will follow this entry and have the date of October 18, 2019.

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2019, 10-17

Underground Slavery

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in a cage. There is a Dunmer outside the cage gazing in at me. He is wearing green robes and has some mechanical device over his left eye that makes it look like he has been assimilated by the Borg. I ask who he is and he says he is Shanath Selthri, we are now in Sadrith Kegran, and I am his property. I say no, I belong to no one. He says he bought and paid for me so I am his. I tell him I’ve heard enough of that bullshit, I’m out of here. He says not until he lets me out, I can’t even get out of that cage unless he lets me out. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut through the cage bars, creating an easy exit. Shanath steps back and stares at this and repeats that I am his slave and I must obey him. I find myself speaking in Disturbed lyrics. “I’m no slave, are you feeling brave? Or have you gone out of your mind?” I am thinking to cut him in two but then I stop… he’s no threat to me so there’s no need to kill. Instead I cut my blade through the air just centimeters from his chest. I’m rewarded with a look of fear and smell of urine. He has wet himself. Good enough. I unform my blade and walk out the door.

I exit Shanath’s house into a city with huge glowing mushrooms. Graceful bridges span streams of phosphorescent water and strange crab creatures have glowing things on their backs. It is as bright as noon, but when I look up I see I’m not outside, I’m are in a huge underground cavern. Everything glows a different color, the result is beautiful. I wander through the town looking at the sights. The town is filled with mostly Dunmer, though there are some other people around. I notice the other people are all wearing rags while the Dunmer are wearing brightly colored robes like Shanath had been. I approach a woman in rags and speak to her. She looks at me but doesn’t answer. I try again. A Dunmer in dark pink robes comes over and tells me to leave her slave alone. I tell her she just lost her slave. And unless she wants to lose more than that she will walk away. I am feeling angry as I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and fix the Dunmer woman with what I hope is an intimidating glare. She starts responding with, “How dare you…” but then thinks better of it and hurries off.

I turn my attention back to the woman. She looks scared. I tell her she’s safe with me now and will soon be free. I ask her if she can respond to me. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to reveal she has no tongue. I ask if these foul slave traders did that to her and she nods. I am even angrier now. I focus healing energy on the woman and it is able to regenerate her tongue. Her speech is a bit slurred as if she’s forgotten how to talk properly. She then points behind me. I look and see the woman from earlier along with a Dunmer man in green robes and several guards. The Dunmer woman points at me and says I’m the one who was so arrogant as to think I can take her slave. I glare at both of them and say true arrogance is thinking you have the right to abduct innocent people and bring them into an existence of forced labor and imprisonment. I tell her that ends now. I am taking the slaves with me. I will heal them and set them free. I brandish my Alex Mercer blade and add that if anyone interferes they will find themselves minus more than just a couple slaves.

I keep the slave woman close to me as I go to look for more. The guards block my way. I still have hope of getting out without killing so I fus the group of five guards. FUS-RO-DAH! The guards fly backwards and land in a pile. I tell them that is the last non-lethal method I will use, so do not interfere! The Dunmer man says I can’t leave so I might as well give up. I ignore him and go off to find more slaves. I find more and heal their tongues. I have a dozen slaves with me when we head for the exit. When I go to pass through I feel my energy getting drained. I see I have an amulet on that is doing it. I pull the amulet off and throw it on the ground. I see they are all wearing the amulets so I take all of the amulets off and leave them in a pile on the ground. We all walk out of a cave and into the sunlight. Everyone seems to be unsure of what to do. I figure they need money to start a new life. I pull a purse full of gold from my robes. I have tons of it! I give each person 10,000 gold to start with and I still have tons left. What do I want to spend it on? I’ll hang on to it for now. I wake up here.