lucid

had a dream that my mum wanted to go hajj. then later while talking to my dad he told me that she had left. then i said, in a shaky, almost crying voice that why hadn't she said bye at least. then i ran in to the toilet and some weird stuff happened. i looked in the mirror and then some green goblin appeared. i got so scared. then more weird stuff came up in the mirror then i decided to try put my finger through my palm and i forced it to happen and it did happen. so then i found myself inside water with a whole bunch of fishes just trying to stay calm so i don't go out of this supposed lucid dream. then i tried to change the dream and make some hot woman appear. not happy at all about that since one of the main reasons i decided to not learn lucid dreaming many years ago when i first heard about it was because i thought it wasn't right to just imagine girls and start doing inappropriate stuff. oh well.

#532- DILD

Cutting through a field on foot. I'm looking for a fishing hole but I only have a shovel. I hear something like a lawn mower. I see a guy on a small riding mower doing the fence line. I don't want to be seen because I am trespassing. I turn another direction cut across open grass. My son is following me. I come to a barbwire fence. I have to move logs and random boards. I feel really strong. The ease of it makes me realize it's a dream. I realize the mower sound is probably the fan in the bedroom and my worry of getting caught dissolves.

I decide to try flying but it's like my mind cant generate the view and I get stuck and come down. I around and see and old farm house. I decide jumping on top of the house would give me a good visual. When my feet hit the roof and push off again. I am able to Hoover a bit several yards above the house. I notice how the sun is glinting off metal parts of the drip edge and roof vents. I see a forest in the distance but I cant seem to control my flying. I settle back down on the roof. There is a girl in yard looking up at me. I tell her In flying. She just watches me. Then I see 3 girls at a lemonade stand. I jump down to the ground to investigate. I get a fun idea. I run full speed and drive into the girls and lemonade stand. Ice and water from the ice chest and lemonade from several pitchers explode all over the girls and myself. We all laugh. One of then runs to a large fridge that's sitting in the yard. She goes all the way in then comes out with a half full pitcher of pink lemonade. Shes going to pour on me but I wake up at that moment.
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2019, 10-22

Skyrim: The Endless Loop

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up.

We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop.

Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet…

I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.

Morning of October 18, 2019. Friday.

Dream #: 19,296-12. Reading time: 34 sec.



In the dryad stage, there is liminal ambiguity. The sign of movement and discernment of white (as with a nymph’s elaborate dress) seems to be a misperception. There is no one sitting on the low branch of a big tree in an otherwise open area.

As a result, I walk through the sparse ruins of an unknown town, signifying the dream state is slowly losing cohesion. There is a more clearly defined warehouse (liminal space) I enter.

I find an Egyptian falcon canopic jar (Qebehsenuef). It contains a mummified parrot that comes to life when I hold it. I vividly feel the movement as I hold onto it, even a subtle, pleasing vibration as if from a mild electrical current.

---

See also “bird resurrection” (for the explanation of this process) that will follow this entry and have the date of October 18, 2019.

---

2019, 10-17

Underground Slavery

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in a cage. There is a Dunmer outside the cage gazing in at me. He is wearing green robes and has some mechanical device over his left eye that makes it look like he has been assimilated by the Borg. I ask who he is and he says he is Shanath Selthri, we are now in Sadrith Kegran, and I am his property. I say no, I belong to no one. He says he bought and paid for me so I am his. I tell him I’ve heard enough of that bullshit, I’m out of here. He says not until he lets me out, I can’t even get out of that cage unless he lets me out. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut through the cage bars, creating an easy exit. Shanath steps back and stares at this and repeats that I am his slave and I must obey him. I find myself speaking in Disturbed lyrics. “I’m no slave, are you feeling brave? Or have you gone out of your mind?” I am thinking to cut him in two but then I stop… he’s no threat to me so there’s no need to kill. Instead I cut my blade through the air just centimeters from his chest. I’m rewarded with a look of fear and smell of urine. He has wet himself. Good enough. I unform my blade and walk out the door.

I exit Shanath’s house into a city with huge glowing mushrooms. Graceful bridges span streams of phosphorescent water and strange crab creatures have glowing things on their backs. It is as bright as noon, but when I look up I see I’m not outside, I’m are in a huge underground cavern. Everything glows a different color, the result is beautiful. I wander through the town looking at the sights. The town is filled with mostly Dunmer, though there are some other people around. I notice the other people are all wearing rags while the Dunmer are wearing brightly colored robes like Shanath had been. I approach a woman in rags and speak to her. She looks at me but doesn’t answer. I try again. A Dunmer in dark pink robes comes over and tells me to leave her slave alone. I tell her she just lost her slave. And unless she wants to lose more than that she will walk away. I am feeling angry as I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and fix the Dunmer woman with what I hope is an intimidating glare. She starts responding with, “How dare you…” but then thinks better of it and hurries off.

I turn my attention back to the woman. She looks scared. I tell her she’s safe with me now and will soon be free. I ask her if she can respond to me. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to reveal she has no tongue. I ask if these foul slave traders did that to her and she nods. I am even angrier now. I focus healing energy on the woman and it is able to regenerate her tongue. Her speech is a bit slurred as if she’s forgotten how to talk properly. She then points behind me. I look and see the woman from earlier along with a Dunmer man in green robes and several guards. The Dunmer woman points at me and says I’m the one who was so arrogant as to think I can take her slave. I glare at both of them and say true arrogance is thinking you have the right to abduct innocent people and bring them into an existence of forced labor and imprisonment. I tell her that ends now. I am taking the slaves with me. I will heal them and set them free. I brandish my Alex Mercer blade and add that if anyone interferes they will find themselves minus more than just a couple slaves.

I keep the slave woman close to me as I go to look for more. The guards block my way. I still have hope of getting out without killing so I fus the group of five guards. FUS-RO-DAH! The guards fly backwards and land in a pile. I tell them that is the last non-lethal method I will use, so do not interfere! The Dunmer man says I can’t leave so I might as well give up. I ignore him and go off to find more slaves. I find more and heal their tongues. I have a dozen slaves with me when we head for the exit. When I go to pass through I feel my energy getting drained. I see I have an amulet on that is doing it. I pull the amulet off and throw it on the ground. I see they are all wearing the amulets so I take all of the amulets off and leave them in a pile on the ground. We all walk out of a cave and into the sunlight. Everyone seems to be unsure of what to do. I figure they need money to start a new life. I pull a purse full of gold from my robes. I have tons of it! I give each person 10,000 gold to start with and I still have tons left. What do I want to spend it on? I’ll hang on to it for now. I wake up here.

I see Carl Gustav Jung. He is very tall and skinny, but his head is that of Jung. I become lucid and get in his face and say, "Tell me something!" He stares at me. I repeat, "Tell me something!" So he speaks to me in the second-person number. I wake up but am too lazy to write down his analysis and by morning (several sleep cycles later) have forgotten what he said.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

It's night, the light in my garage turns on and I take a peak through the window. I see a guy inside my fence, by the gate near the pine tree. I can tell he is Asian and is wearing sunglasses, which is bizarre. I knock on the window and make a face like " hey, what are you doing here?" and he runs away, exiting through the gate. I get out and go after him. As soon as I turn on the road after my house to follow him, there is a building and he goes up a central staircase, many stories high. I look up to spot him but soon I lose him because there are many other people going up and down.

At my mom's. She is in the bathroom and I am in my old bedroom. I feel an itch on my legs and realize I have a few infected pores. As I watch it closely, more and more pores are getting weird, purplish, engorging, becoming furuncules. They grow so large, they become like mushrooms. I pop some of them. It is disgusting. [COLOR="#FF0000"]But I realize I am dreaming. So just for fun, I turn the mushroom furuncules into flowers. At first it is not so easy to do it, but once I get the gist, I enjoy a wave of all types of flowers in all the colors of the rainbow, sprouting through my skin and blossoming and then giving way to other flowers. It is ticklish, I really feel them bursting out and growing, it is a strange and wonderful sensation. Also it is so incredibly beautiful to watch. As a final touch, I look to the palms of my hands and visualize a lotus flower blossoming in each of them. They do appear, one white lotus in each hand, first the leafs, then the flowers opening. Then I feel so light and glowy and I naturally start floating. I want to cross the wall and fly away but my mom calls for me and I turn back, because I don't want to scare her, even if it's in a dream. On the hallway I find my friend Belchior instead of my mom. He smiles at me, doesn't say a word and I realize there is nothing keeping me here. I keep floating on air and I feel like I am expanding in size. The ceiling can't contain me. I cross through the wall and ceiling and I am floating outside. Not like flying with effort or conscientiously, just standing weightless in the air. I can see my feet. Then I see a golden throne set up in the middle of the street in front of my mom's building. I float towards it and notice a golden Buddha statue which I touch and then I am inside four walls. It is an all white and gold room, marble floors and walls, rich golden curtains and sofas and beautiful big Buddha statues everywhere, in gold or white stone, in Tibetan, Thai and other styles. There is a panoramic window to a garden outside and passageways to other rooms. An Asian man comes in in servants clothing and welcomes me. Then a few ladies also appear, with foods to serve or just offering their services. I am a bit overwhelmed and then two beautiful cats come strutting in my direction. This feels like heave and I feel that I could stay here forever and just be pampered. But why and for what? Then I wonder where this servants come from? Do they have a life and a family? Why do they work for me? Do they suffer? I can't accept having servants. I could not enjoy paradise.
I go outside to the garden. There is a glass wall separating it from some corridors that go around it and where normal people are circulating and going somewhere. I spot a girl I seem to know and I have a dejá vu. I feel like I have been here before and have seen that girl before in that exact place, but in a somewhat different situation, one in which I was her equal. But now I am separated by a wall, in a garden with waterfalls and she looks lonely and sad. I do something that breaks the separation and now they all can see me and come inside the garden. I try to talk to the girl, but it becomes quite chaotic with people talking in groups, mingling and hanging out. There is one one dude going around imitating a cow mooing.

At some nice Portuguese town, on a break from some professional training I am attending but which I do not care about at all. The lady that usually assists me at the parish council, sees me and comes talk to me about how good this training is and professional opportunities that might arise from it and I'm like "oh c'mon, I dont give a shit about it and I am not even staying 'till the end". She is a bit shocked.
I go to the next door, which is a clinic of sorts and check their vending machine at the entrance for some snacks. Also at the entrance are a few patients freaking out because the electronic system that registers the patients is down and they can't get to their appointment. I calm them down and I feel compassion for them and somehow I create the conditions for the system to be fixed.

Then outside again I see Rinpoche coming down the street with the usual entourage and I bow down as he passes by. He enters the next door and some people enter after him and close it behind, while others stay outside guarding the entrance. I feel bold and uninhibited and I say to them I'd like to go in. They say definitely no and then they also go inside and shut the door again. So I put my hand through the door and I hear them freaking out. They still don't open. So I just cut out a hole on the door with my fingers so I can look inside. Rinpoche is in another room deeper inside. I finally manage to go inside so they let me sit at a desk alongside other people waiting for a chance to meet Rinpoche.

After about a long dry spell, I had a lucid dream this morning AND I found my dream character. We embraced because I just couldn't believe it actually worked after so long a dry spell. I used MILD. The key to it that there needs to be a strong link between the mnemonic and the thing I want to remember. In this case, I noticed that school is recurring setting in my dreams. Thus, I spent a good portion of yesterday creating a very strong link between school and my intention to find my dream character. It's not the mantra or visualization that causes a lucid dream. It's the prospective memory and the link between the intention and the mnemonic. Visualization + mantra is only to strengthen that link such that it will even work while in unconscious REM sleep.

2019, 10-04

Fus You, You Foul Bullies!

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in high school. I’m a student. Everyone is outside doing a scavenger hunt. There are items we are supposed to gather. Everyone is looking. I find a trash can with plastic bottles in it so I collect the bottles. I want to recycle them. A couple of girls laugh at me for going through the garbage. I go inside the library and find a girl reading. She finishes some soda in a red plastic cup and throws the cup away. She gets a new cup out and pours more soda. Why doesn’t she use the same cup? I go and pull the cups from the trash. The girl asks if I’m recycling. I say yes. She drinks the soda in her current cup and hands it to me before taking out another new cup. I say she can use the same cup. She laughs and pours into the new cup. I am annoyed as I leave the library. It is dark outside. I didn’t think I’d been inside that long. I start walking home. After I go a short distance, I think I’m going the wrong way. I keep going and I come to a bridge. This isn’t the way home! There are people on the bridge that look like they’re arguing. I head over there. I rub my nose and something seems off, so I pinch my nose to do a reality check. I’m dreaming!

The arguing from the people on the bridge sounds like it’s getting serious. I get closer and I hear them talking to each other, something about a hat. When I get closer still I hear expletives, some nasty slurs referring to gay people. Then the fight starts. Three guys start beating the crap out of a fourth while a fifth calls out for help. I go over there and the man calling for help tells me to go get help, fast, before they kill Ade! I don’t need help for a few bullies. I go over to them and yell at them to stop. I get their attention. One kicks the man they have been beating one more time before coming towards me. The man on the ground is writhing in pain. One of the bullies who looks to be the leader asks what I’m going to do if they won’t stop? He calls me a little girl and tells me to go away before he decides it’s ok to hit girls. I tell them to leave the two men alone or else. He asks or else what? Am I going to cry? I say no, but I will fus them off this bridge. He starts to undo his pants and says he’ll give me a fus I’ll never forget. He approaches me. I ask if they’re refusing to leave the two men alone. He says he’ll finish with them after he’s done with me.

I surreptitiously position myself where I can hit the three bullies with one fus. I tell the lead bully he’s done right now then I fus all three of them. FUS-RO-DAH! The force blasts all three bullies off the bridge. I look after the three of them and I see the splashes as they hit the water below. They struggle for a bit to regain full motion and then swim for the shore. They are swimming for different places on the shore, but that’s not a problem. They’ll live. I see someone waiting on the bank where the lead bully is heading. That person is dressed in a clown suit! What the fus is a clown doing down there? The man who had been calling for help asks me how I did that. I pay no attention, I am watching the clown as he pulls the lead bully out of the water. The bully, clearly angry and not wanting help, pulls his arm free of the clown and glares at him. That makes the clown mad. The clown’s face transforms into one big maw with what looks like hundreds of razor-sharp shark teeth. The lead bully is screaming in terror when the clown literally bites his face off! What kind of monster is that? I jump off the bridge to go after what I am thinking must be a demon of some kind. But instead of falling into the water I fall into bed and wake up.

2019, 10-02

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

The Dark Tower: I F’d Up In One Place

I am in my bathroom. I am getting ready to go to bed. I am brushing my teeth. I look down and I see my kitty Shadow sitting in front of the tub. I know Shadow has crossed the Rainbow Bridge so I think she is a ghost. I go over and stroke her soft fur. I note how soft and silky the fur feels and I hear her reply with a purr. I keep petting her and she purrs louder. The bathroom door flies open and a man in robes who looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi rushes in, opens the toilet, then hikes up his robes and sits on the pot with an audible sigh of relief followed by some obnoxious noises. Shadow hisses at him and leaves the room. I am about to scold Obi-Wan Kenobi for scaring my ghost cat away, but I stop when I realize how absurd that sounds. Instead of getting mad at Obi-Wan Kenobi I pinch my nose to do a reality check. I am dreaming! Well that explains a lot…

I want to get to the Dark Tower world. Doors are frequently used as portals in the Dark Tower world so I close the bathroom door and focus on the idea it will lead to the Dark Tower world. Then I remember I said I’d try to get MoSh in on the dream so I change my focus to MoSh’s inner world. Obi-Wan Kenobi makes some more obnoxious noises and a foul stench wafts from the toilet. I really want out of that bathroom now. I open the door and hurry through. I look around now and I see a place I don’t recognize. It looks like a normal neighborhood. MoSh is there, I go tell him it’s Dark Tower time. He asks if Jamie can come. I can’t remember who Jamie is. I ask MoSh if Jamie can handle herself if things get ugly. He doesn’t seem to know. I tell him I’m heading for the Dark Tower, or that’s where I hope to go. I look around for a door. I don’t see any door standing alone so I go to the door to a house. MoSh says he doesn’t know who lives there. I say it doesn’t matter, it leads to the Dark Tower.

I open the door and step through into a field of roses. I am on a path leading through the roses to the Dark Tower, which is standing tall and dark at the end of the path in the middle of the roses. I hear a strange sound coming towards me from the tower and then the sound of Roland’s gun firing. There is an explosion not far from me as Roland tells me to get to cover for my father’s sake, he’s throwing sneetches! I look for MoSh and I see him there with a woman, they are headed towards the tower. The Crimson King is up on a balcony of the Dark Tower, I can see him in his red robes and hear him laughing like a maniac. Now he throws two of the spherical sneetches at once. I form each arm into an Alex Mercer blade and use the flat of the blade to knock them back, they explode safely in the distance. The Crimson King is having a tantrum. I look around again and I see some strange mutant Thalmor. When the Crimson King throws three more sneetches, I use my blades to knock them in the direction of those mutant Thalmor. Three of them explode in a bloody mess. Yuck.

I see MoSh off to my left fighting with a mutant Thalmor that has a tiny little head and huge arms, but I can’t focus on that much because the Crimson King is getting hugely frustrated with his inability to hit me with a sneetch even though I’m out in the open. He keeps throwing more and I knock them away, and if I miss any Roland shoots them out of the air. I loudly ask the Crimson King if that’s all he’s got, because if it is then he’s more pathetic than I’d originally thought… and I’ve always thought he was pathetic. He has another tantrum as I get closer to the Dark Tower. It really seems as if all he’s got are sneetches, as he throws more of them. Now I am aiming them back at him. This is a bit more difficult to do so it takes a few tries before it finally works. One explosion on the balcony leads to a much larger explosion, probably the rest of the sneetches getting set off by the first one.

Then I find I am with a couple other people at the base of the Dark Tower. Roland is there and he has been yelling a bunch of names, I don’t remember what names. Roland opens the door to the tower. I realize I still have the Horn of Eld. I’d hung on to it so it wouldn’t get lost before Roland reached the tower. Roland walks through the door to the tower and I quickly follow him to give him the horn. But when I get into the Dark Tower there is no sign of Roland. I am alone. I look around and start climbing. As I see familiar scenes in the rooms off of the stairway I realize that each person entering the Dark Tower would seem to enter their own instance of it… so I won’t be able to find Roland! Shit! I hurry up a few more levels until I have confirmed that I have fucked up royally. I focus on getting to wherever Roland is. At first it doesn’t work, but finally a door opens onto an endless desert. Roland is there and looks surprised to see me. I give him the horn and tell him if he wants to shoot me for my stupidity then go ahead. He just looks puzzled as I wake.

2019, 09-30

Skyrim: The Alex Mercer Mod

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in my car with my ex-boyfriend James. We are on our way to work. We must be on some kind of business trip because we also have a hotel room where we will be staying. We arrive and the office is right next to the hotel. When we go to the hotel we find out that our room is on the opposite side of the hotel from the office. I find that annoying because it is a big hotel and it will take a while to make the walk. I drive us to the right area and park right in front of the room. We go inside and find it is a nice room. James changes clothes right there as if we were still together. I go change in the bathroom. Fortunately there are two beds and they are separated by a temporary wall like those that often separate office cubicles.

After we are done changing we head for the office. It is a long walk. I break off to make a visit to the restroom. I find that some people are giving out free food, it is a service of the hotel. They are almost out but I am able to get a chicken drumstick and some potatoes for my breakfast. It doesn’t strike me as odd that they serve fried chicken and potatoes for breakfast. I go to the office where we will be working. I see James is jealous of my fried chicken breakfast. He says he will get some but I tell him they were almost out. He seems annoyed. I turn on my computer and get prompted to continue my setup in virtual reality. I see a VR headset on my desk. I pick it up and put it on…

Now I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason this doesn’t seem odd to be playing Skyrim VR at work. And what a great VR headset! It looks like the laboratory of a mad scientist. Right in front of me is a Thalmor that looks like he has somehow been assimilated by the Borg. He says his name is Archeron. I make fun of him, imitating his voice and saying, “I am Archeron of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” He says he doesn’t know what Borg is or about being assimilated, but I am right in that resistance is futile. He says I must be the new arrival who will help him break the tower faster. The Dark Tower? This asshole wants to break the Dark Tower? I say I will never help him. He can go fus himself.

Archeron laughs and says I will be much more cooperative after my lobotomy. I fus him right in his Borg face. FUS-RO-DAH! Nothing happens. I do a double take. Archeron says he has already modified himself beyond being affected by such things. I ask if he’s immune to being sliced in two. He says no sword in Skyrim can harm him. I say I don’t use swords from Skyrim… I use swords from Prototype. He asks a prototype of what? I answer, “Alex Mercer.” I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and tell him I’ve had a few modifications of my own, I’m no longer a mere Breton, I am an unstoppable virus! He is trying to figure out what that means when I use my Alex Mercer blade to slice him from his left shoulder down to his right hip, effectively cutting him in two. The look on his face when he dies is one of disbelief. I want to keep playing, but everything fades to black and I wake up.

The dream scene change and for some reason this cause me to become more aware of my environment. So I look around see that I am at work and realize that it's sunday and I'm off today. I could tell the dream struggle to have lights in the warehouse as it was much darker than usual. I began to walk and told myself I'm positive this is a dream and decided to check my hands. My hand had 7 fingers and some were larger than the other's while some were way too tiny. I confirmed to myself I am indeed dreaming.

And said out loud I'm done working and that I am doing my own thing. I walk to the nearest exist and explore outside. It was sunny and warm. I climb up a near ladder attach to the back end of a building. I told myself I wanted to learn how to fly in a dream. As I am running of the roof which had street roads on them and tree's. I ran as much as I can and jump but gravity put me back down as if it were waking life.

I was surprised but I knew I was still dreaming. I never had great dream control. I decided to keep exploring in till I woke up.

2019, 09-27

Dark Tower: Parting of the Ways

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

It is night, I am standing near a campfire with Roland, Susanna, Eddie, and Jake from the Dark Tower books. Eddie and Jake are transparent. Susanna is holding Eddie’s hand and Roland is holding Jake’s. There is a young man there I don’t know. He is drawing on a pad of paper. He shows his drawing, which is a work of art. The drawing is of Eddie and Jake. As if by seeing the drawing Eddie and Jake become solid. Susanna and Roland reluctantly let go of Eddie and Jake. As they let go Eddie and Jake start fading again. I look at the drawing and I see that is also fading… but why? Roland says it’s because they’re not really supposed to be here, that’s why. Susanna grabs Eddie, Roland grabs Jake, and they stop fading. But they don’t become solid again…

I ask what is going on with Eddie and Jake. Roland says ka is trying to reassert itself. If Jake and Eddie don’t go to the world they belong in soon they might completely fade. So far they have only been able to remain in this world because of their connections. I realize that is why Susanna is holding on to Eddie and Roland to Jake, to try to anchor them in this world. Roland says there really is only one answer, Eddie and Jake have to go to the world they were meant to be in. And Patrick (indicating the man with the drawing) is the only one who can make it happen. Susanna goes over and whispers to Patrick for a bit, then Patrick starts drawing.

I hear something out in the darkness, it sounds like something is creeping about out there. I feel a sensation of being watched. Roland sees me and says Mordrid is out there, and Mordrid’s a-hungry. I say no, it can’t be Mordrid, MoSh killed Mordrid. I am sure of that. Roland says something is lurking out there. I stare out into the darkness, trying to see what’s out there. I see something is reflecting the firelight. I slip into the darkness, ignoring Roland saying I shouldn’t. I use my night vision and I find the thing. It looks like a cross between a giant beetle the size of a large dog and a praying mantis. It attacks me, but I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and slice it in two. The thing melts into a strange black fluid that flows off into the darkness.

I return to the camp and now there is a door standing near the edge of the campsite. Susanna is looking at the door, still holding Eddie’s hand. She opens it and lets go of Eddie. When Eddie and Jake get near the door they are solid, but they start fading when they move away. Eddie says that must be the place. He is reluctant to leave because he wants to reach the Dark Tower, but he knows if he stays here he won’t make it anyhow. He and Jake will fade. After some debate it is decided that Susanna will go through the door with Eddie and Jake. Roland seems worried that the door is a trap that leads to toedash space. I say if it does I will get them out. I think Roland just doesn’t want them to leave. Susanna, Eddie, and Jake go through the door. After a brief hesitation Oy follows Jake. Patrick stays behind even though Susanna tries to get him to follow.

The door closes with a resounding thud. Now there is only Roland, Patrick, and me at the campsite. Roland looks depressed. Patrick curls up and appears to go to sleep. Roland sits by the fire and stares into it. He says maybe I should have gone, too. I say it would make no difference, I will wake up back in my prison dimension where I have no skills, no talents, and no abilities. Roland says he doesn’t believe that. I say yes, I always end up there. He said no, he meant he doesn’t believe I have no skills, talents, or abilities there. I don’t answer. He looks more depressed so I put my arm around him and give him a hug. I say I’ll probably wake soon, but I will be back, I am sure of that. I want to see the tower… if the roses around the Dark Tower have the healing properties of the one in the vacant lot then maybe it can even overpower my depression. Maybe both Roland and I can be free. I wake up here.

Dreams starts with me being back in school and entering the classroom. I take my seat with all the other students and our teacher enters the classroom. She is wearing a black dress shirt and black slacks with pumps on her feet while sporting some red rimmed glasses with brown curly hair. She begins teaching us stuff and I'm sitting there bored as usual. Looking out the classroom window. I see the hallway outside and my eyes begin to notice police officers. Then knock loudly on the door.

My teacher opens it while saying "Oh shit" The officer immediately tells her she is arrested and that she has the right to remain silent. I hear some of the students behind me saying the classic "ooooooo" and someone say free time. Which I thought was stupid but looks like she was't coming back. Most of us including me just decided to ditch school and made our way to the double doors to leave. As I am walking to my way there, there is a woman wearing a pink sweater that is staring directly at me.

It was hard for me to ignore so I look back at her and notice she is a co-worker of mine at my job. She was saying something but I couldn't hear her. She then started walking towards to me with her arms open wide. She and I hugged each other and I didn't know why and was feeling embarrass since we were in front of other people. She was saying something to me but I still couldn't understand but I was begin to feel more aware like a vacuum. I could feel a rumbling effect happening in my head and I became lucid. But I still could feel myself becoming more self aware and started to look at me to see if I was awake.

I can't remember all that she said but I started seeing odd things , the regular dream scene change to a white place and I could hear a voice talk about there are 5 steps to reaching that level. The voice talk about blood sacrifice , it talk about incest and other rituals. After seeing all of this I return back to the dream I was in before laying on the school hallway. The woman was gone though as I look around for her. I decided to walk back in to my classroom. I had lost lucidity. As I enter back in the classroom she was sitting there.

She began talking to me again about life and how she was trying to help me , everytime I was becoming unaware she snap me back to being lucid. It was odd, I woke up afterwards.

2019, 09-26

The Dark Tower: The Laughter Vampire

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in a strange place. It is snowy all around, but I don’t feel the cold. I draw the conclusion that I am playing Skyrim VR since I can see the snow and feel a breeze but I’m not cold. It is getting dark out and the snow is starting to fall. I see a plowed street and a small house with smoke coming from the chimney. I head in that direction. I hear roars of laughter from inside. I look in the window and I see Roland, Eddie, Susanna, and Jake all laughing their asses off. There is also another man there that I don’t recognize. Something about him looks fake, though… like he was an illusion. This feels off, so I try the door. It is unlocked so I let myself in, hoping to not be seen as too rude… after all, no one would hear me knock over the laughter and for any normal person it would be bitterly cold out.

When I get inside and close the door behind me I see that none of the people laughing have even noticed me enter. The man I don’t recognize sees me and makes a lame-ass joke about my arrival. I don’t remember the joke, just that I found it about as funny as vomiting. I am the only one who finds it unfunny, though, as everyone else in the room roars with renewed gales of laughter. Susanna slaps her own face while laughing and a sore at the corner of her mouth starts bleeding profusely. This puts an immediate damper on Eddie’s laughter, and as the others look over they also stop laughing. The man telling the bad jokes, they call him Joe, looks annoyed. How dare Susanna interrupt his jokes with her bleeding!

Susanna gets up and excuses herself. Eddie wants to go with her, but she insists she’s fine and just wants to clean up in the bathroom. Eddie nervously watches Susanna as she goes. He mutters something to Roland about that sore not being a pimple, and he and Susanna should stop bullshitting a bullshitter. Joe tells a joke about bullshit. Eddie gets mad at Joe, saying his wife is bleeding, this is no time for jokes. Joe makes a joke out of that, too. Eddie laughs in spite of himself, Roland laughs, and Jake is on the floor laughing. I still find nothing funny. I think I will go check on Susanna, but then Jake looks like he’s choking so I go to him and try to get him to stop laughing. Joe tells another bad joke, making the laughter worse. I tell Joe if he wants to see something funny, watch this… and I fus him in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! Joe flies across the room into the far wall, falling to the floor in a mess of objects caught in the fus.

I am trying to help Jake and Joe makes a joke out of my fus’ing him. This especially gets Roland laughing and now Roland looks like he’s choking. Joe is clearly an energy vampire and he’s stealing energy from their uncontrolled laughter! I am about to do something a bit more permanent than a fus when Susanna comes back from the bathroom. She has her Witchblade formed into a sword which she uses to remove Joe’s head. The headless body doesn’t die. It stays on its feet and starts transforming onto something that looks more insectile than human. The strange thing blunders around for a bit before collapsing into the fireplace and catching fire and finally dying.

Susanna and Eddie embrace but then I notice Eddie is semi-transparent. What is happening? Jake is also semi-transparent. I do a double-take. I ask what is going on. Susanna holds on more tightly to Eddie and Roland embraces Jake as if they can physically keep them from fading. And maybe it works, as they become solid again. Roland tells me that ever since Thunderclap both Eddie and Jake have been fading in and out of existence. He says he thinks ka doesn’t like being foiled like I did. He says I saved them both, but now ka is trying to set things back to the way they were meant to be, and that means no Eddie and no Jake. Susanna says she has been having dreams that indicate there is a world where they are supposed to be right now, and they will be taken there one way or another. I wonder how to counter this unexpected effect when I wake.