lucid

Sep 23 2018

Four nights lucid in a row! PB!

[D] FA where I'm in bed, feeling my breath intensely. I can see two spheres of breath rotating and flowing throughout themselves, as if each of them is tearing itself inside out. The spheres are located a few inches in front of my face and are about 5 inches in diameter each. They're arranged one atop the other forming a sort of figure 8. I shift to seeing this in third person from the left side. Maybe they're feeding into each other? But I see and feel their movement aligned with my even, deep breaths.

[?] Wrote something in my DJ but can only vaguely make out the words "tonight", "Jesus", and "fool". Awoke 5:30am.

[L] In 9. The dream starts in my bedroom. My bunk is high, almost shoulder level (like one of my old dorm rooms). There are some assorted items laid out on the bed. It's dark outside. I'm trying to find something. The dream shifts to the front yard briefly, then to the kitchen. I need to make F a BLT without lettuce or tomato, on a long sourdough slice. For some reason I'm trying to find a saucepan (maybe to cook the bacon?) but the only one I can find is submerged in water in a white bowl next to the sink. The pan has a thin coating of spaghetti sauce on it. Around this point I become lucid, or rather reach the threshold of awareness, but decide not to do anything about it and to observe instead. I don't consciously control anything, from dream body to dream logic. I put down the slices of toast in the toaster, and they seem too long but somehow change dimensions to fit. At first the slices are vertical as expected, but after looking away and back, they are arranged horizontally at the bottom of the toaster. I'm talking to F this whole time. Finally I tell her "I'm lucid". She doesn't really react. I decide to do something improvised, a coordinated reality check. I hold out my palm and either through speech/nonverbal command or through expectation, I have her stick her finger through my palm. It worked! However now I couldn't really see her, and could see through her. She was transparent and I could clearly read some text behind her that took the form of her body. The dream shifted quickly and I was outside the kitchen looking in, and the lights were off. I said aloud "lights on!" and some dim lights came on but not all. The dream started to fade. I remembered to do math but lost the dream before I could. When I awoke I tried to DEILD, however I could only see the emerging scene if I strained my eyes to the bottom-right corner; there were maybe 5 or 6 scenes that emerged. When I opened my eyes it was around 6:40.

[F] I find myself outside a sliding glass door with a family inside. They let me in, they're part of a resistance and they're hiding me from someone; before this I was in a ditch. This was in-depth but unfortunately my pen ran out of ink.

[D] I was in a church library. There were bookcases that slid apart, and I was shoved inside. Inside it was dark and there were others. We could see through the cracks of light left by the books. After several implied weeks of pleading my case that we weren't able to read the books in the dark, those imprisoning us finally gave us some better quarters. It was some sort of speakeasy establishment, and our quality of life went up (we had alcohol and other entertainment) but now some of the black prisoners were slaves/barmaids.

Sep 24 2018

I had at least four dreams but can only remember two. I'm trying to utilize a memory palace for dream recall when I don't have a physical DJ next to my bed, but it's not always working (although it does help a bit).

[D] I'm in the backyard of 9, in full knight's armor. I'm carrying a metal jug of gasoline or urine. It's daytime outside and I'm splashing this mystery liquid all over the lawn; I get some on my neighbor's fence.

[D] After a longish dream, I find myself sleeping 9's garage. There are several pillows, and one of them is fancy but makes no sense (day residue from a stupid sweater one of the Property Brothers was wearing). It's made by George (the Walmart brand). It was very visually vivid (and mentally/perceptually clear) at this point, and I think if I didn't get involved with the dream drama I could've easily become lucid. I was in a sling chair but now I'm in some sort of giant furniture bucket looking at a late 90's desktop and monitor. My dad comes in and talks to me for a bit. I decide to go inside and sleep on the couch (worried about bugs). When I go to shut down my computer though, my C drive disappears! I think my hard drive somehow unmounted itself (in the dream I thought somehow it got disconnected/shaken loose). It's a weird mix of XP and Vista and 7 and when I open the start menu I can't search for anything in the search bar. I start freaking out about my computer, eventually I wake up.

Morning of September 23, 2018. Sunday.

Dream #: 18,906-05. Optimized 1 min 30 sec read.



With metacognitive dreaming, I navigate my vestibular phasing response with imaginary kinesthesia. It has been my predominant form of metacognitive dream state navigation since early childhood. I direct my somatosensory phasing upward, from feet to head to uplifted hands, and request (and anticipate) storm conditions for wind.

I am a boy in my dream. The setting is the front of the Cubitis house, close to the carport. Jim (older half-brother on my mother's side, deceased) appears as he was in the early 1970s. He has a large book of information about a secret society to which he belongs. I read a paragraph about the requirements for mountain climbers and explorers. (This part is influenced by watching "Exploring With Josh" videos on YouTube before sleep.)

It seems to be morning, but the many gray clouds I called for are overhead. I tie two bedsheets together, tearing parts into strips, and throw the "rope" into the air. Jim tries it, but the other end curves downward, and the makeshift rope falls back down. I hold onto one end of the "rope," and I rise into the sky, about ten feet from the ground, the bedsheet "rope" mostly remaining vertical. (This was influenced by watching "Tau" from 2018 two days ago when Julia made a cloth rope to manipulate devices outside of where she and the other two were, though the orientation was horizontal, not vertical. It also implies I am seeking the thinking skills that only my conscious mind has, which is validated by the dream segment after this one.)

Eventually, I find a newspaper and roll a two-page spread into a cone. It becomes unrealistically long and pulls me into the sky, higher than the bedsheet did. The scene repeats, but I add more two-page newspaper spreads. Jim seems puzzled as to how I am doing this. My parents (both deceased) come out during the last minutes. (I lack recall of any of their deaths.)

I hang onto the newspaper "rope" and enjoy the intense vivid feeling of movement and flight as I remain in a vertical position. The wind blows me about north and south above the front yard. The other end remains airborne and stable in its height even though it does not connect to anything.

---

Sep 22 2018

(from phone and in reverse order, will start doing proper entries again one day)

D - HMT - night, distinct steps - slavery/oppression situation - an email gets leaked and a kill order is sent (room, test?)

Lucid! 6.44, in crowded mall, surge of awareness, put hand on DCs like she was pregnant, become lucid! LOTS of DCs. most smiling and laughing directly at me, although i don't interpret it as humiliation, but something more like happiness/being proud of me). say aloud, "subconscious, make all of my dreams automatically lucid", start losing the lucid and remember to math but accidentaly count instead, by the time i add it's too late, awake (stiff bed)

F - before - woman in closet tied up w phone alarm going off, someone almost finds but doesn't, she will die in there

D - long magenta house, yelling hardcore at mom, i want to leave. shame, guilt, anger. dad involved (their fight), oven/meal

F - megaphone/board game, F screaming, title of game - screaming (at police officers?)

F - school before

Sep 21 2018

on the phone again

8 light downstairs intruder dream/fa (more detail later maybe)
problems remembering other nls through night
In 9, living room couch, sth about stalking (m & f) kpop stars, some kind of weird light texhnology
Become lucid walking to dark hallway/foyer! look at hands, etc, but loud vacuum left on in office, examine then ignore. remembered to do math! only +, 2 up to abt 23, felt confident, grabbed front door (light coming thru) but before fully opening shut and thought about where i wanted to teleport (some part of my mind still doubted it would work bc of the light). i opened the door (v realistic) but it was just the front yard/street. tried to spin teleport, couldn't. walked towards sidewalk, started getting fuzzy, dropped to knees around curb and felt concrete while doing a little math again, worked! got up walked along sidewalk on other side of street a bit and tried to transform my body (i wanted to grow 4 arms, didn't). I had a plaid pattern (blue/white) button down shirt on. after both of these (drop to knees, transform) the scenery/sidewalk path changed a bit. at this point i was
coming up on a large glass souse with i believe a tin roof, shape was a mix between office bldg, church, and warehouse. i could see no furniture inside, and it was dark so i decided not to go in (also think there could have been a rowdy kid playing on my side of the street). i kept walking and remembered my goal to meditate. i passed under a tall pine and sat/lay back on the sidewalk doing a little math and taking in my senses (sight and touch, sound was negligible). to my left on grass were amazing curling fern-like leaves that were covered in dew (they were coming from the grass, like a different type of grassgrowing through). i unfurled some of the leaves and the dew felt nice (not cold, just damp). I decided to look up at the sky - vision became immediately blurry until i stabilized some more. sky was beautiful, and as i had been doing the whole time, i just reflected on how awesome it was that this was a dream and i was conscious in it! after maybe 10 more seconds i awoke. deild attempt but no dice

I wrote all this beforehand last night, interestingly:

Focus:
Ch, F are triggers. DCs tell me I'm dreaming Do math, then spin teleport (clearly)!

New goal:
Grow 4 arms (separate out)

I'm in a small room with some other people sitting on a bench. The bench is up against a wall running the length of it, and the other two sides of the room are glass, forming a triangle shaped interior. I realize I'm dreaming just because of the vividness. I look at my hands and try to slow everything down. My vision feel constrained for some reason. I drop to one knee and try to ground myself by doing the finger push. It works pretty well, with some slight resistance at first. My vision, still constrained is bothering me so I reach up to my face to find I am wearing sunglasses. Taking them off makes it much better, and I have my peripheral vision back. I also take off a hat I was wearing and makes my vision better as well.. Remembering my dream intention to talk, I sit back down on the bench, about to call out to the dream, when I suddenly lose lucidity.

Sep 20 2018
(from phone again)
awoke 330, no dreams (not a trace)

[D]nl in hallway then classroom, trying to be sneaky w F, middle school, they have a sub or "numbers lady" helping them, I'm in a desk (shame - naked?), F finds the biology or nursing book, but it's hardbound landscape like a steno book and the papers are warped and barely readable, I'm upset as I need the book, try to show F but now all pages are fine, can't find a warped one (vivid)

[SL]felt like a visualization/hh at first, but was a dream. in a larger classroom (feels like biology, maybe + lab), clear sight of 2 doors, see dcs walking by doorway and some entering, some of them have ? for faces, become semi-lucid (aware that i can control my surroundings, but not the idea of "dream")? start copying one dc using doorway expectation, a blond plain-faced girl with a loose pony tail. i copy her several times passing through the doorway, some going in some walking on, i look at the other students and try to decide how to control them when one of my copies sits next to me, i get kind of nervous and after a second i wake up

[L]I'm in bed and I feel like my dog is going to walk on my face (i feel a presence approaching) but i hear the door swinging on the hinges like it's already open and i realize its F. she says "it's me, june" and is being silly. i realize I'm dreaming but i can't open my dream eyes, so i start separating my dream body from what i can now feel is my real sleeping body (or my dreaming physical body, not sure if it was a copy because they were in same position), i separate mostly and tell her to come with me (still can't see except checkerboard hh, but can hear and feel surroundings as i move) i phase thru the wall next to the bed and fall back, flying to catch my fall, hh gets lighter, i float back up and ask "june" to join me again and i wake up. try to hold on to hh but dog wakes me up. whole thing was nonvisual (not counting the hh-like imagery)

Non-dream stuff - I have a lucid fragment, that occurred at an unknown time. Then, just a non-lucid dream that I've forgotten details on.

---

Lucid fragment:
It was dim. I see my left hand and count 6 fingers, the extra finger being conjoined with the pinky or ring finger. I have a brief realisation that I'm dreaming, visually the dream starts to disappear into darkness and it feels like I bump into something, and then just the nothingness of unconsciousness until the next dream memory.

Dream fragment:
I remember arriving at a street with my partner, in the car. I suggest we park on some spots close to these terraced houses on the street. The layout is a bit like a corner but it makes more sense in the dream context than it would in waking life. The bit I suggested we park the car on, turns out is for disabled only. In the dream I remember thinking that I really need to do something to get that sorted out, the thought felt like it was more conscious than other parts of the dream.

We park somewhere else a bit further and then I remember approaching the terraced houses, and one of them is actually a bank, and I bought that specific one, apparently. The house door was 60 something, and in the dream context I notice or remember that a friend of ours who's been staying over with us, is living over at door 57, which is around the corner, which again doesn't make sense in a real layout, since it technically would be a different street, the numbers shouldn't add up like that.

I remember being inside the bank-turned-house and noticing glass with red painted stripes, as with a particular bank, and for some reason the house is connected directly to another one that was also from the same bank but hadn't been sold. I remember turning something on or looking for something to eat and feeling like it was odd that I could see a bank agent across the way.

In the dream I was satisfied with how the house looked, though it was pretty bare; mostly shiny tiles and glass.

Later on in the dream I remember walking with my partner again, over some sort of low roof (less than a story high), which was used as a public bridge or something. My mom was at the opposite end, sitting with her legs crossed; as we got closer she looked at me and smiled and told me something. I remember people going past us on the left, using the "bridge". It was day-time through the entire dream, but at first it was cloudy and then it must have been less cloudy near the end because there were more bright streaks.

---

No notes for now, feeling quite tired.

Morning of September 18, 2018. Tuesday.

Reading time: 2 min 52 sec. Readability score: 70.



Still aware of where my physical body is as I sleep, my illusory dream body rises and floats into our lounge room. I remember to focus on our porch for liminal space vivification (enhancement and sharpening of the midpoint between dreaming and waking). However, when I get to the entrance of the lounge room, there is no porch. My dream self is now implied to be corporeal but has distorted physicality. My legs are not viable, so I both fall and partly hover over the stairs, yet I do not wake. I get the impression of another physical form hovering above the ground, of which I bump. It seems to be an unfamiliar male, not very well defined. He is soon gone.

My dream is extraordinarily vivid but does not shift to the highest level of lucidity. The neighborhood is of a different appearance. Directly across the street to the north are more houses. On the west side of the intersection, I see a flaming man on a flaming motorcycle of which is traveling quite slowly. He is going south. The imagery is eerie but wondrous. I feel a sense of otherworldly awe. The fire is beautiful and increases my awareness of the dream state.

I anticipate his approach, as I think he will turn around and come back. He does, but eventually, the fire goes out, and he is walking with his motorcycle on my side of the street. As he is walking to the north side of the intersection, I boldly call out, “You’re Johnny Blaze.” He seems puzzled, and crosses back to my side of the street, approaching me. He is wearing a blue motorcycle racing jumpsuit with white stripes down the sides.

He stands close to me to become Ghost Rider again. I realize he will be able to look deep into my soul and know all there is to know about me. The experience is incredible. It is as if the universe itself is looking into all areas of my existence and personal history. He is a man again, though his eyes are glowing with eternity, infinity, and universality. I notice that flakes of my skin seem to be falling away from the scar on my right thumb, as I look down at it. There is no pain or implied threat.

Instead of any potential threat, he starts whimpering in appreciation of the life I have lived up to now. He hugs me and seems like a new friend. From here, my level of awareness shifts. I become less lucid as my dream changes into a different form, though the Johnny Blaze character is still present.

My mother is present, but I do not recall that she had died years ago. She asks me what is going on. I say, “I knew it was a dream, so I went from there,” regarding my description of falling out the door into a vivified scenario. That is very odd though, as I am no longer lucid (yet saying “I knew it was a dream.”)

As the waking transition starts, Johnny Blaze is no longer carrying the interconsciousness within the rendering. Still, I say, “Watch this,” only loosely expecting Ghost Rider to appear one final time.

Instead, a wall, like that inside a house, intersects the street, and a door appears in it. There is the common indoor-outdoor ambiguity (the sense of being inside and outside at the same time). Some other dream characters, including my mother, Zsuzsanna, and me, go over to the doorway. Beyond it from our side, we see that Johnny had crashed into a row of wheelie bins and fallen over, though I realize he is not the same character as before, as the interconsciousness had left the dream state right after hugging me (in temporary coalescence and unification). He is on the ground, mostly on his back and turned a bit to the left, looking somewhat surprised and annoyed. I wake quickly from here, finding myself in the same physical position as Johnny had been.

I should point out that I had held no thoughts of Ghost Rider, either the comic book or movie for a long time. Johnny Blaze was nothing like Nicolas Cage (or any other known actor) in my dream. He was an unfamiliar man of a more athletic build.

---

Sep 16 2018

Pre-WBTB:
[D1] I'm in a blue version of my childhood living room with F. She brings me a plastic rectangular package of writing utensils, and I tear it open and start looking at the different items (big fat sharpie, pencils, pens, an eyebrow brush). She looks mad at me for some reason. While I try to figure it out I fold a piece of paper in half along the middle. It's regular printer paper with one side watercolored blue, but not warped or anything. I keep prodding her as to why she's mad at me and she gives me the silent treatment, so I try to put back together the plastic box, but I can't fit all of the writing utensils back in. She's drawing a diagram of an isometric house, and I find out that she has a laminated piece of paper with different house diagrams on it that she wanted me to draw with her. It's blue and I think it might be the same one I folded, just machine-printed and laminated now. She angrily marks into the laminated paper with a pencil, but it barely shows up. I look at some of the different patterns, and while they look like they should be evenly isometric or orthographic, they're significantly skewed in multiple places. This makes me more aware of the dream state.
[L1] The scene shifts and I'm on the other side of the room, which is now incandescent. F and I are now in chairs by the fireplace, and the room is decorated for Christmas. I ask her "Are you still mad at me from the last dream?" Asking this question either triggers or strengthens my lucidity. She replies no but is still a little standoffish. I start literally pulling her leg, lengthening and transforming it willfully to about six or seven feet long, and bendy. Suddenly she switches places with me, and I'm now on the floor near the piano. I nonverbally command "Show me a clear view of F's face" and the control of my vision is taken over. It zooms and pans mechanically over to her. My vision is clearer now, but I can sort of see black bars at the top and bottom of my vision. She looks stoic or angry, but is facing directly towards me (her face is a little different than IWL). I'm pretty impressed by the effectiveness of the "show me" command, so I try again: "Show me the most beautiful thing I can imagine". The camera pans over to the picture frames against the piano wall and I think "Oh no, not this Freudian shit". Then the cameras react to me and point towards the ceiling, at a mobile that's very Christmasy, with a twisted wreath and a stuffed simplistic angel in the middle.
[D2] I'm in bed with F in an unfamiliar, dark blue place. She's trying to paste some text (a pop-up overlaid my vision). So I edit out the "http:/" and some other stuff and put into google (again via overlay) and I realize that it's the name of a reddit user? I say "oh I recognize this" but then I think maybe she'll be mad if she knows I know(?). After this she looks at me with a serious face and tells me that she's going to donate blood to A.L. (can't remember full name). When she says this, in the dream I remember an earlier NL (pre-pre-WBTB) but I don't write it down upon awakening. (4:50am)
[WBTB]
[L2.1] I'm NL in an open field, the sky is a faded blue and the earth all around me is dead and cracking. I think there's a treeline a couple of miles off in front of me and farther off to my far right. I see a huge explosion in the sky in front of me, it's bright blue in tint but not too intense to look at. I look off to the far right and see more of these, which are already shaping into crosses. The crosses are of varying sizes. I look back in front of me and the explosion has formed into a single, giant cross, with a couple of circles behind it. I realize I'm dreaming and immediately I think "I need to teleport to the bathhouse!". Because of this, my mind is preoccupied while I'm looking at my hands trying to stabilize the dream. The ground looks very clear, the detail is amazing on the cracks. But the dream feels paper-thin, and I start spinning prematurely thinking "bathhouse", and I wake up.
[L2.2] I'm in bed with F and almost immediately become lucid. Details ommitted but I tried to exert nonverbal dream control over her, and it almost worked, but the idea/expectation of her in my mind is too strong-willed and resisted me.
[L2.3] I'm a woman in a combination campsite/hotel, and again I'm almost immediately lucid. I'm situated all the way at the end of the row of rooms, and I see an older foreign-looking man with a crumpled brown leaf on his nose. He sort of reminds me of Eggman in retrospect, but friendlier in a way. I approach him because I either need something or was just looking for a DC. He's sort of ignoring me and my passage to him is blocked by a wall, so I look away and imagine a small gate. It appears and I go through. Scene shift and we're in his kitchen, he's reaching for the honey or sugar for some tea and I reach for it too. For some reason this is a grave offense, and I feel I should leave, but he forgives me. Scene shift and I'm in a gift shop, and there is a tribal african woman with body paint. Scene shift and I'm outside with the old man, and I pass by a tree with small blue scorpion creatures on its leaves. I then see down the road, a huge version of the scorpion creatures coming towards us and the cabins! I start running, but can't find my room (the layout is different now, with individual cabins). There's a man behind me so I let him pass and follow him to a small bunker. We drop in, and I feel unwelcome. One of the men has a strange-looking gun, and I make some military comment which he doesn't take kindly to. I'm still lucid so I actually offer to become another DC lol. The whole scene reminded me of FMJ for some reason. There's a fridge in the back of the bunker behind a sort of divide/cage. I'm handed some things to put in the fridge; one of them looks like ice cubes, and one of them looks like cheese or butter. I keep putting them in the wrong one, and the guys will just tell me "Fridge. Fridge. Freezer. Freezer". I keep insisting that the ice cubes need to go in the freezer but finally I look back down and they're diced carrots.
[L2.n] Within this dream chain I had another one in my apartment, and then an uncaught FA where I was DJing in bed.
[WBTB2]I woke again and had another lucid chain of (I believe) 3 different ones, but I couldn't find a pen so I didn't write them down, and got comfortable and forgot all about them!
[F1] Extremely long NL. It was cinematic, and was a sort of mix between Wreck it Ralph and a royal wedding, plus maybe Treasure Planet? It was a dark city adventure where we had to save the city from an evil corporation, some sort of power plant that you can see from anywhere which has a huge orange skullface on its building. I vividly remember the end, but the beginning and middle are fuzzy with a few distinct impressions. I think it's possible that the WiR dream and the RW dream were separate at first, but merged towards the end. Towards the end, we (the posse) are turning the corner on a cyberpunky road where all of the lights have gone out (we've shut down a few power plants already). But now as we round the corner we can see the big orange skull and we're ready for business. We drive up on the dark interstate hi-rise-ish road and approach a crowd of shadow people with yellow eyes. I throw a "shovel knight" at them, which is a rolling ball that slashes the people and turns the shadow people into normal people. The street/city setup reminds me a bit of early Duke Nukem. We round the corner and see a ship, which we untie and board. We end up walking into a sidedoor to the wedding.

Spoiler for unexpected romance:

I've been competing with this guy who looks like John from Sherlock, who is imposing, in the RW dream the whole time. We are relatively young, and there are some young girls that we are supposed to walk down the aisle during the wedding. However I (the persona I'm assuming in the dream) has feelings that have been developing for the whole dream, for the one that Sherlock John is supposed to walk down the aisle. Someone appears at the white door, and I open it, and there she is, in a beautiful white and gold dress; she looks surprised that I opened the door, I'm also in a white tux/commander's outfit with gold trim. She has black hair and pale skin, and a very straight face, which looks sheepish, somewhat sickly, but truly beautiful in a way I can't describe. I kiss her gently with closed lips. She's shocked but when I offer my hand she takes it. She's holding a paper and I'm holding a sketchbook (maybe I'm the wedding sketch artist? Who knows) and I take her paper and put it with mine. We hold hands and walk, having our pictures taken (turns weirdly digital for a second). Then I'm dancing with her and she's embarassed, like a deer in headlights, so I hold her.

Totally unexpected but interesting and enjoyable dream; can't figure out what kind of day-residue or thoughts led to this.



*Note: Counting L2.* as one dream together as they were a mostly uninterrupted chain.
**Note: I think I WILDed (or at least DEILDed) for some of the entries in L2; I distinctly remember that feeling of "crossing over" and how it sort of rushes through you and throws you off-balance. Very cool.

Morning of September 09, 2018. Sunday.

Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 63.



I do not usually set the preconscious avatar on fire. It depends upon my acceptance of, and resonance with, the waking process (or how annoyed I might be about waking up in contrast to the more positive willingness) and whether or not vestibular system correlation is a factor of the transition.

My conscious self identity is not present at the beginning. It starts with a typical bedroom induction. The bedroom is a variation of Gellibrand Street in Brisbane, where we have not lived for many years.

Curiously, there are several other people in our bed with us, though I do not perceive them as intruders. (Our bed would need to be unrealistically wide to accommodate them, but I do not perceive it as such.) I am aware that the door into the bedroom is open, but it is to the left rather than in the middle of the opposite wall. (I am atypically sleeping on my right side, with my left more exposed to my real environment).

Two unknown males step into the bedroom. I do not know their intent, but I assume it is intrusive. Having a vague memory of my conscious self identity but not my real-life status, I consider what I should do.

Becoming aware that I am in the waking process of a dream, I become annoyed (as I had not used the induction process to sustain lucidity). I take hold of what is left of my dream self’s side of liminal space and create the intersection process, which is otherwise the choice to reenter deeper sleep or to wake. However, the feature is two rivers that cross each other perpendicularly rather than streets (though they are about the same size as urban streets). I mentally tie the preconscious avatar and his partner to a post where the rivers cross, mentally douse them with gasoline, and set them on fire. I deliberately fly up and out of the dream state much to my satisfaction.

---

12.9

LD 108 - Donuts
I was at a hotel. There was an old guild mate playing on a laptop in lobby. I talked to him about someone messaging me in-game, trying to get into the guild. I went outside the hotel. Gloomy weather, gray sky and not too warm. Some of my friends were grilling some food near the hotel. I joined them for a bit, before returning to the hotel.

I found myself in the wrong hotel room. The lights were off and the room was actually like 10 rooms. It was a massive place. Scene changed abruptly again.

I'm suddenly in my parents' place. I'm in the living room and a donut suddenly appears next to me. I grab it. Then I notice that the kitchen is full of people. My family is there along with several DCs I don't recognize. A man creates a doorway in the kitchen and I'm supposed to chase him. I can't move from where I am. All the DCs cheer me on. I try to teleport. Just willing it to happen does nothing. I throw the donut and try to teleport to it. It fails too. I close my eyes and visualize the frozen planet.

I "wake up" exactly where I was. Now there's only my family in the kitchen and no random DCs. I start talking about the previous dream. Dad asks questions about it and I explain things like dream control and stuff.

16.9

LD 109 - Sword fight with Bifrost teleporter (All the excitement happens non-lucid.)
I'm not myself, but an asian man with a superpower. It's a blood-related power, allowing me to turn myself into a blood-like liquid and engulf people to absorb them. My power is gentle, I do not harm anyone I absorb and can release them later.

The dream starts on the backyard of my parents' place. I sense danger and prepare for a fight. I'm a master swordsman so of course I have a katana. A blinding beam of light comes down from the sky with a booming sound. I recognize this to be the Bifrost. My foe appears from the light, a massive man similar to the last villain from Bleach: Yhwach. Our fight begins and he tries to overpower me with his sword. I'm stronger than him and easily parry each attack. He has the Bifrost and dances between new beams of light that he opens and closes effortlessly to teleport around me as he keeps attacking. Each time he teleports, I hear a boom as a new beam of burning rainbow light appears closeby. This sound gives me time to react and the fight goes on. When I'm about to be hit, I turn into my blood form to dodge. Since we both have powerful abilities to dodge damage, the fight doesn't end.

Scene changes. I'm in a gloomy post-apocalyptic world filled with zombies. I'm still the asian man with the absorbing power. False memories tell me that there are others with similar power, but I've engineered mine so that it doesn't destroy absorbed targets. I fight my way through a building full of zombies, looking for a man. The building is tall and I find the man on a floor 9 or something. I hold the door as zombies try to get in. The man looks like Terry Crews. He's a scientist and has a glowing magic wand. It looks like it's made from lightning. The window seems to be our only way out. I tell him to jump with me as I take the wand and get outside. When I'm already hanging outside the window, the man turns evil and tries to take back the wand he gave me. I don't give it back. I leave the man to deal with the zombies and I jump. As I fall, I try to fly. I fail, but I land safely. I'm surrounded by zombies. I try to fly again and fail.

Failing to fly reminds me of lucid dreams and I become lucid. "I'm dreaming!" I tell myself while looking at a horde of zombies around me. I want to improve my dream control and decide to start by recalling my waking life. I'm hoping that would improve lucidity. While I focus on recalling waking life stuff, I lose the dream.

Yeah, should just focus on the dream. I'm also pretty much over my flu so that should be good for dreams.

Fragments

-Winter, in a bus with dad and brother. Dad drove, I told him where to go.

-Sister and kids. At my parents' place. Outside there were kids playing around with lawn mowers and sleeping on a running lawn mower. I tried to get them to stop.

Sep 15 2018

First a summary of the pre-WBTB NLs:
It's morning on a sunny hilltop, just outside the twon, blue skies. (fragment)
I'm in a version of my childhood home which is an apartment or hotel, 4ish stories up. I'm with my fiancee.

Spoiler for lewdness:

Across the open space in another room I see three girls in lingerie getting down and dirty. I have an understanding that the intimacy is not genuine and is for show. I point them out to my fiancee and we watch.

The lighting/mood was incandescent (I seem to have incandescent dreams and fluorescent ones, and there's a clear distinction of feeling between the two). There was another longer segment before this. (dream)
I'm talking to Adam and Tom (two random DCs). It's a public place, maybe a grocery store in a small town or a town hall (this is a reach) and they're arguing about the fidelity of Adam's wife, who used to be Tom's wife. (fragment)
I'm watching Jack Nicholson, Pheobe from Friends, and some other celebrities corroborate their story in a fluorescent courtroom. (fragment)
FA where I'm writing detailed notes in my DJ, even drawing pictures (I'm an amazing artist in dreams). Very convincing and thorough. (dream)
Pen went out and I didn't write hard enough to leave marks, so I lost some. But one mentions noises, my fiancee, and my dog. It makes me think it was another intruder FA or variation of it (my dog barked a lot last night so I was afraid of having one), but I always remember those, so it wasn't that.

Wake 5am. Fiancee (I'll call her F from now on) has work at 5:30 so I don't try to fall back asleep and just half-meditate while reflecting on dreams. Get up with her and walk my dog (calling him D from now on) and look at the stars, getting a strong feeling that I'll become lucid. I end up going back to bed at 6:30 or 6:40, I wear a sleep mask because there's some light entering into the room now. D's being loud and shaking the bed with his scratching so I threaten to kick him out. I end up trying something strange, I put two of the pillows over the sides of my face and my ears to block out noise, and I sort of side-hug them like the ten commandments.

As I'm falling asleep, I have the tranpsarent eyelids effect a couple of times. The first time, I can see D, and I try to latch on to the visuals as a dream, but they pop out of existance. I have this with a few other visuals: a long stalk of grass or leaves, and a pillow or blanket with a tag and words I could clearly read ("english", "c.o.t.r."). A couple of times I feel like I'm going to WILD. I fall asleep and fully wake at 7:24am.

This time I turn on my side but still use the pillow similar to how I did before. I go back to sleep. I wake up around 8:30, although I'm barely awake; I use this time to try and WILD as my body's still in REM atonia. I finally can fully focus on an image/scene, and at some point everything blacks out and I "pop" into the scene! It full materializes around me! I have awareness of my waking body and the fact that I was awake less than a second ago. I was surprised at the blackout before it happened though, I always assumed (and when I've had DEILDs I've experienced) that you go directly from waking to the dream with no visual discontinuity. Anyway, I'm in a tan carpeted room with white walls and a staircase. The stairs are the same as in my WL apartment, tannish carpet and white rails; however the room they open up into is bigger. I'm at the bottom of the staircase sitting on one of the stairs, looking through the rails. I am sort of a point of perception rather than a body; I try to spin but can't use my body to do it, so I think "bathhouse" and will myself to spin. It works! My perception point starts spinning, but I don't go anywhere or transition to another scene, the visuals just intensify. I look closely at the stairs and the room around me, the light coming in from the kitchen window, the layout of furniture in the living room. Suddenly I wake up. (Lucid)

After this, I decided to keep trying to WILD. I kept on the edge of sleep and let myself fall into visuals another time! This time, I went directly into the dream scene with no blackout (it felt more like a DEILD). I find myself in a living room type area, near a sliding glass door. I put my finger through my thumb to stabilize it works with a little resistance. I pick up a small box or something similar and throw it through the glass, which doesn't loudly shatter but sort of just breaks and disappears. I go through the opening and it's a tight fit because the balcony railing is right against where the sliding glass door was, and it's high. I climb up and get my torso over it, then I jump from the balcony to a tree (the trunk looks like a palm but it's twisted). As I jump down onto it, I experience some sort of anti-gravity or limited gravity, which is cool. I land on the tree and grasp the trunk. At first it had branches, but when I look around and notice they're in my way, they disappear and it's all trunk. The trunk is kind of twisted. I decide to thoroughly experience the texture of the tree, so I rub my hands over it, bite it, lick it (it tasted sort of sweet with a bitter aftertaste and rough texture). Some seriously weird stuff omitted.

This dream starts a chain of DEILDs and DILDs that last a while*. In the first, I'm in bed with F. I look at my hands and become lucid. After a bit I get up and ask her to come with me but she's gone. I go to the dark hallway and turn into a bathroom with the light on (sort of reminded me of my best friend from childhood's bathroom). I feel around in the cabinet expecting a few things and although I hit a wall, I say "Oh right, wasn't there a secret compartment there?" and that part of the cabinet pivots away and I find the object I was looking for! Was pretty cool, I did this with some drawers too. I read some vivid words that I don't remember (some tags on towels, labels on some circular plastic packaging). I believe I walked down the hallway too but then it ended.

Again I found myself in a dark room, fingerpalmed, walked over to a table and grabbed a box, then threw it through a sliding glass door. The glass didn't break, so I walked up to it and punched it. I walk outside and it's night in a cyberpunkish or maybe Coruscant-like city. As I walk out onto a large circular balcony, I see that to my right there are three guys leaving theirs as well. I think to myself "I should lock up because they'll break into my apartment", but then I remember that a) it's a dream, and b) I punched through the sliding glass door. I realize that one of the guys is B, a coworker. The two guys with B are wearing old-time diving masks and carrying spears. He's wearing some sort of Rita Repulsa outfit with the big shoulders, but mostly black. I end up with a large stick (a branch from the tree before?) with a thin metal spearhead sticking out the top of it. Then another DILD which again I'll omit.

Woke again, didn't record time but I think around 9:30 or 9:45. Went back to bed and had an FA where my grandpa came up the stairs into my room and handed me something he said was a CD (I was sleeping naked so he didn't want to intrude). The package wasn't a CD though, it was a tight grouping of multicolored beads with a small gamecube-sized disk deep inside of it that I couldn't get to. (fragment) Had a lot of other NLs and I think a few more LDs during the dream chain, but it's really hard to read my writing...I'll edit my post sometime when I have time to decipher them.



*For the September Competition (and my LD Count) I'll count this dream chain as one lucid since they were all basically back-to-back, and then count the first one as its own (since there was a period of longer wake in between them), so two total.

Night of September 13, 2018. Tuesday.

Reading time: 1 min. Readability score: 62.



Vestibular system correlation begins as my dream begins, which is semi-lucid but allowed to render randomly, as I do not make a willful attempt to orient or give willful detail to any of the patchy space. However, a common thought at this stage is choosing the setting of being on a bus, which is not as expansive a process as a helicopter or airplane (or flying unaided).

So the setting stabilizes as a bus, seemingly in late afternoon, but I am not corporeal, as I have not fully “stepped in,” though I am on the right of the bus driver’s seat. There is no driver. An empty child safety seat (baby car seat) is atop the empty bus driver’s seat, closer to the steering wheel. The bus is moving in a setting that seems like an ambiguous mix of a bullring (bullfighting arena) and a Nascar venue. Although it is driving itself, my dream self is still liminally controlling its direction and speed.

The Paul Simon song, “Baby Driver,” is loudly playing from an undetermined source, diffusing through the environment. There is an enhanced awareness of energy and activity. I start to feel very amused and cheerful by the absurdity of the scenario. Most members of the audience are cheering and throwing confetti as the bus circles the area.

I start to wonder why the Paul Simon song emerged, as I had not heard or thought of it in years. Still feeling cheerful, I decide to come out of my dream.

---

The non-lucid I was with Sam h at what we thought to be a music festival. It looked like an indoor water park but the theme was a jungle so there were a lot of trees and brush all over the place. I believe there were water slides and hot tubs scattered about. There was a front desk. We had gone up to the people and mentioned that we had two tickets. At some point we saw Temple.

The semi-lucid I was walking in Kings Charter. I was cutting through someone's yard to get to my house but I heard recently IRL that the owners of this house participate in beekeeping so I was trying to go around them when I realized that the house wasn't even there. In its place was a field and there weren't any trees or houses that are usually there. I became aware that I was dreaming but was very calm about it. I just thought that it must be a dream and that I should do what I want. I was now walking in that field and there were people walking near me. I thought in my mind that I would try to ask a dream character something. Before I could ask anything a girl walked by me and she said something like "you are a beautiful one" or "you are a good one", I don't think it was exactly that but it was something similar. I can't really remember. I kept repeating what she said to myself in awe and curiosity. Someone else walked by and said something else but I can't remember. I realized my eyes were very squinted. I was trying to open them up but the dream collapsed.

Sep 12 2018

I woke up and color-coded my dreams in a weird order (Red, then Blue, then Green instead of RGB or ROY G BIV). In my first NL, I'm in a strange competition where the teams of two have to come up with a piece of art and a story (but it can be derivative?). My parents and some older relatives (aunts, uncles) are also playing. I'm ambitious and want to try something we've never read before and reinterpret it and create something original from it within the timeframe (we have 1 day, or maybe 1 night, to complete it). Everyone else is cheating and making really simple art, which I'm frustrated at because I'm trying to create something good. This is all taking place in a long room with tables and chairs/stools set up, with large windows that have whitish light coming in. The entire room has a blue, overcast tint to it (it's been rainy lately, I think lighting in dreams could be an important dreamsign).

The scene transitions and I'm in a brighter (incandescant) hallway looking at posters and diagrams. There are displays with black and white etchings or line drawings or diagrams of a man who reminds me of Nietzche in pugilist attire. The display (or a DC) says "engineers have been fascinated with the human body for hundresds (or thousands) of years". I get through the hallway and reach a balcony opening up on a room below (sort of like an operating theater but no separation). There are people in the room below, maybe related to the competition.

I'm now in a blueish comic book store. It's dark outside and in front of me in line, there's a guy trying to buy a macbook. He doesn't pay (or should have in advance) and the cashier scolds him and shoos him out, giving him a warning. Me and the cashier go way back, and he mentions my competition. He suggests a pairing of characters from a fictional anime, and we debate eastern vs western art for a while. He shows me some pictures of the characters for reference. This all felt like one long connected dream.

I'm in my childhood home backyard with my fiancee, we're playing ping-pong with some drunk guy. It's me and her against him, he has a big beard. The ball is bright orange and there's a black trash bag on the table. I miss a couple of balls (I might be drunk too) and feel bad. Suddenly the table is thinner length-wise (maybe it collapsed?). We keep losing balls and there's something on the ground (an unfamiliar dog or other creature?).

Sep 13 2018

I went to bed at 12:30am. The first NL I remember a variation of my reocurring intruder dream, but instead of the intruder, I walk into the hallway from my bedroom and see that the bathroom light is on. Our apartment's maintenance man is finally fixing our sink, but it's the middle of the night. At some point I have a fragment about the server that I've been working on for work.

I wake around 3:50 and move my dog so he stops scratching his collar. Fall asleep and have some NLs. In the next one I remember, I'm in a play place. Think McDonald's with tubes and such, but along the floor only, much too small, and made out of those pop-up tents that resemble windshield sun shades with holes in them. I'm with my fiancee, we're crawling through on hands and knees through the holes. She's ahead of me and I have to expend a lot of effort to get through. There are cobwebs all around, and some small items are stuck in them. I remember vividly that there were a lot of bees/wasps on the ground. As we crawl towards the back, my fiancee finds a large blue crystal ring. We get in a fight about it. A female therapist appears, and she sides with my fiancee. I become irate.

I'm now walking into a room with some old ladies. It's a slightly dim, carpeted, beige room with the curtains drawn but light still filtering in around the edges. I'm naked, and the old ladies, who are sitting in chairs along one of the walls, are looking at me out of the corners of their eyes. I'm standing behind my fiancee (or another DC) after entering the room to try and hide. Eventually something clicks and I realize how ridiculous the situation is, and I look at my hands and become lucid! The old ladies' chair positions have moved, their backs are to the windows now and they're looking directly at me. Some old men (more men than there are ladies) are standing behind them looking upset, and looking away. I shake their hands and tell them I'm dreaming, but they're looking away from me, and each time I shake one of their hands it's like I intercepted them trying to shake someone else's hand. I walk around the room a bit (I didn't write this down immediately so I'm not sure what else I did here), and I remember thinking how lucky I was to be lucid so frequently these past weeks (waking life awareness!!). I then decided to try spinning again. This was my first time spinning from a standing position, and it was at least mostly successful (I had thought about doing this in the night while walking my dog). I wanted to visit my incubated dream world, so I said nonverbally "waterhouse" (I meant bathhouse). My intention was vague and unclear, so it took a while longer to form the dream scene and the dream must have latched on to some floating thoughts to form something coherent out of the word.

The scene materializes (like a squareish shape of white light approaching from the distance) and my full field of vision is focused on a video playing. The video is gaudy, bright, and annoying (my fiancee showed me the new iPhone commercial last night). There were words on the screen in a tacky font, sort of like lyrics although they weren't. There was no sound. Bright neon colors (I remember green and yellow) and images of a woman in a yellow or red dress standing on a stage as if she was singing were flashing on the screen. My field of vision slowly allowed me to disconnect from the screen and realize that it was a phone or tablet that I was holding. I was in a living room similar to my own, with a glass coffee table and a long couch behind me. Although the layout is similar to mine, the dimensions, lighting, and general decor remind me of the house of one of my dad's old clients, a rich Jew.

I look back at the phone again and the screen is dimmer now, and no matter what I do I can't get it to go bright again. I put the phone on the table and decide to do a reality check, so I put my first two fingers into the palm of my left hand. With the two hands stuck together, I decide to try and stick my fingers through the roof of my mouth as well, but I can't. I turn around and look at the couch. There's now a female body on the couch, although it seems like a mannequin. I try to put my fingers through her abdomen/solar plexus, but instead of entering in, the skin flakes off like peeling paint. I peel it like an onion and take off one layer up to the face. The face underneath is different. I take more and more layers off, and each time the face is slightly different. Some parts of the skin reminded me of plastic wrap that sort of warps and has indentations, or like the shrink wrap they use on college textbooks. I start thinking too much and wake up.

It's 5:30am, I color-code my dreams (again with the weird Red, Blue, Green order) and try to stay still because I feel that I'm still in REM and can easily DEILD. I see the white light and almost get into a couple of dreams, but my dog keeps scratching and moving around, other noises keep popping up and bringing me out of it, and I end up just lying there for a while. I try to get back to sleep and maybe I drifted off for a little bit but ultimately I woke up before my 6:40 alarm and DJ'd on my phone.

I'm starting to really believe and understand Sensei's article about catching "the feeling" and holding onto it, trusting yourself that you will LD tonight rather than techniquing yourself to death. Really proud of my frequency lately! But I'm ready for a full night of deep sleep. Work is killing me.