memorable

2019, 11-04

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

2019, 11-04

Skyrim: Déjà Vu

I am going down the street on my way to Windhelm in my game of Skyrim VR. I spot some special friends ahead. There are three Thalmor escorting a prisoner. I walk over to them. The lead Thalmor tells me to go away. I cut the prisoner free and give him my electric sword that I got from Balgruuf. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade. As the Thalmor attack I start with a fus, though since it’s only one word it just staggers them. The prisoner and I still make quick work of the Thalmor. I set to looting the dead Thalmor. One of them was a woman about my size, so her elven armor is now mine. It’s too bad I damaged it… The prisoner and I he will head for Windhelm.

We reach Windhelm with no problems. I find the blacksmith. I ask if he can repair the armor and he says yes. I leave it with him. I have to talk to Viola Giordano, but first I have to turn subtitles on. I can’t figure out how to do that. I am distracted by Rolff harassing Suvaris. Rolff breaks off his verbal assault on Suvaris to ask what I’m staring at. He calls me an elf lover. I call him dickless. He tries to get in my face so I fus him. The loser calls for a guard and says I assaulted him. I call him dickless again. The guard asks if it’s true. I respond, “It is true… this man has no dick.” Rolff says his dick is huge. I say I’m sure it is… for a grain of rice. He tells me to take that back. The guard says we should go in opposite directions, he wants no trouble.

I head to the Palace of the Kings. Ulfric is talking to Galmar about Whiterun, He says he would like to take the city with no bloodshed. He sits down on the throne. I approach Ulfric. He says he remembers me. I say yes, I was at Helgen. He says no, he remembers me from before that… or after? It’s unclear to him. He asks how many times this makes. I am quite confused now. I ask how many times for what? He asks how many times have I repeated this? He says he remembers enough to know we’ve done this before, but in Helgen I said I have done it “sooooo many times” so he is asking how many times. This has taken me by surprise, how can Ulfric remember a past game? I finally say I’ve lost count.

Now things get back on track. Ulfric says I should talk to Galmar about joining the Stormcloaks. I have barely gotten out, “I can’t…” when Ulfric goes off script again. He says he remembers I won’t join unless he gives his word that all races in Skyrim will be treated equally, especially the Dunmer in the Gray Quarter. But he has heard rumors that someone there is capturing citizens of Skyrim and sending them… somewhere… to be used as slaves. Ulfric knows the Project AHO mod?! How?! He says if I investigate and find the rumor false or if I find the rumor true and put a stop to it, he will see to improvements in the Gray Quarter, he knows Brunwulf would be glad to take on the project. But he will NOT do so if there’s a chance those blasted elves are sending Skyrim citizens into slavery. He says he doesn’t have the people to investigate, but he will trust my findings. I am still trying to figure out how Ulfric can be reacting to a mod that shouldn’t affect him. A mod I don’t even have active! I tell Ulfric I don’t think anyone in the Gray Quarter is involved, there’s an Orc kidnapping people near Mixwater Mill… but if it will help things move forward then I will check.

I leave the Palace of the Kings. The next normal stop I would make is High Hrothgar to see the Graybeards. But this is going strangely. I am trying to figure out what is going on when Rolff tells me to get the fuck out of his city. I tell him to cram it up his ass. I wonder what I have to do to prove that no one in the Gray Quarter is involved with slavery. Then I wonder about the guy at the Corner Club, he has clearly expressed that he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re a Dunmer. Should I investigate that? Well I said I would… Rolff says I should get my worthless elf-loving… His interference has pissed me off. I turn around and, without thinking about it, hit him with a full three-word fus. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff goes flying and crashes into a wall. He collapses, stunned. I am also stunned… I did a full fus! The glitch just happened a bit late! Do I still need to go to High Hrothgar? Probably. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I go to Candlehearth Hall and rent a room. I go to the room and lie down on the bed, falling asleep there and waking up here.

2019, 11-01

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

Skyrim: Dragon Falling

Note: I have been including a lot more detail than I really have time for, so I will try to be a bit more succinct about my journal entries to allow for more postings.

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Whiterun, I am here to deliver the dragonstone to Farengar. I go to Dragonsreach and go to Farengar inside. He is talking to Delphine. I comment that the warrior innkeeper is back. Delphine gives me a strange look. Farengar takes the dragonstone and then the housecarl Irileth comes in to say there’s a dragon attacking. She says Farengar and I should come. As we are leaving the room I pass by Delphine and deliberately comment, “It’s too bad we don’t have any sworn dragon slayers around…” as I look at Delphine. This gets me another strange look from her, then she hurries off.

I go up to talk to Jarl Balgruuf. He says he wants me to help fight the dragon. He even gives me an electrically charged sword. I head to the Western Watchtower where the dragon is attacking. Irileth and several guards come with me. Mirmulnir is attacking the tower. I realize my new sword, or any sword, is useless. I use Battery by Metallica to call lightning down on Mirmulnir. Guards are firing arrows at the dragon. I pause to wonder how Battery is working in Skyrim when Mirmulnir targets me with a blast of fire. I stop questioning and use Whiplash by Metallica to deflect the fire back at Mirmulnir. The dragon is hit by fire and lightning at the same time and crashes to the ground. Irileth jumps onto his head and drives her sword in, killing him. For a bit I think I won’t get the energy rush as usual, but when I get closer I am able to draw the energy in.

After the guards and Irileth debate if I could be dragonborn I head back to Whiterun to report success against the dragon. I hear the Greybeards call as I return to Whiterun. I tell Balgruuf that the dragon is dead and he gives me some heavy armor… I don’t use heavy armor… then I leave. I sell the armor at a local blacksmith since I never use heavy armor. Everyone is saying I should go straight to see the Greybeards, but I always head down to Windhelm after this so I can stop the serial killer there before he kills another victim. I leave Whiterun and head along the road to Windhelm. On the way I find Cicero and his broken wagon wheel. Instead of asking the farmer to help I use a Harry Potter spell, reparo, to fix the wheel myself. He does a happy dance and gives me gold before heading off. I wake up wondering how I didn’t do a reality check when I successfully used Battery and Whiplash in a game of Skyrim.

29th

3 spiritual rooms
I saw inside a building that my friend took me to. Inside it was sectioned into different sort of sects or organizations or whatever you call it. I eneded up inside the right most parts of the building. The room I was currently in had some sort of indian religion or spiritual teachings. I went to the room next to this, the one that was right of the previous room. It had a much smaller crowd of people than before. There was a lady teaching there. It was a group of about 9 people doing their practices. I decided to head to the next room. This room was the last room to the very right. It had another larger group like the first one, it was a slightly different belief or whatever you'd call it.

I tried mingling among the current one I was in. There wre about maybe 20-30 people in there. I forget why but I decided to go to another room. I head to the other large one. They were reading passages, taking turns to read them. My turn came up and I tried to read it. The old thin man there scolded me for reading it wrong. I think it was in some other language. He scolded me twice. I decided to leave.

I'm back in the small room in between the 2 larger one again. The room began with some concrete like pavement and in a few steps you would see the raised floors of some tatami-like things that covered the ground. People sat on small mats, like the ones Japanese monks sat on during meditation. The teacher there welcomes me. She had a nice warm vibe. She had long black hair and light brown skin. There weren't as many students here but there was a sort of welcoming feel to all of them. I decided to stay here. She taught me some stuff...

She was beautiful really; was it her... soul? Her vibes? Just something about her kept me there and practicing what she taught.

*I think it just tells something about me. I'd often decided to try harder if a teacher was nicer. It didn't really matter what the topic was, but I just gravitated away from subjects if the person teaching it was not a person I was fond of. And vice versa.

Fitness Comp/Race

My friend dragged me away a bit later. It was a fitness competition or something where athletic people were going through racing courses. It had many different kind of obstacles and whatnot and upon each mini-goal they would cut off the contestants that were behind. I went through about 2 of these consecutive races before I become acquainted with a skin headed athlete.

He seemed kind of like a jerk and was being a jerk. Totally amazing vocabulary I know. But he was a jerk. But towards the end of the race he pushes me, tells me to go on without him... He pushed me far enough to be in the top 5 and I made it. He was a good guy after all. Don't you make me teary eyed.

I was now in the elite or the special parts of the competition. We had to jump over dangerous obstacles and what not. Finals were near.

*Not sure why I dreamt this. Maybe from working out too hard.


---

oct 30

Escaping elevator/Giant
The scene began inside an apartment. I believe it was bc. It was the crappy old beat up apartment with the old apartment smell. I remember hanging out with some friends in the lobby. I enter the elevator with some guy and we go up in the elevator. The elevator gets stuck and we're just stuck there for a while.

*I recall a memory of being stuck in an elevator briefly. It it a real memory?

I decided to get out of the elevator. I think I went above the elevator but couldn't get out so I dug out sort of a portal from the side of it. I think the guy with me also came along. The portal wasn't round. It was somewhat oval shaped but wasn't even since I dug it out pretty roughly.

I walk across a wooden bridge and it's pretty old and beat up. There are cliffs around and it appears to be in the mountain range. Eventually I get to the other side of the bridge. It was some kind of a cave. An entrance on the side of the cliff. I head inside.

I meet a giant who kind of holds me captive. In this dream I was a beautiful girl with brown hair I think. The giant tells me that he's gonna go and get some stuff to the nearby town or place or something and leaves. I wanted to get away and me and the guy from before decided to find a way to escape. Inside the cave was not really a cave. It was more like a small house with a really high ceiling. I think the height of the ceiling was double that of the width of the place. It was really high. And near the top of this cave to the right, was a small hold or window where I could escape.

I get a hammer. I wooden hammer to smash things. I think I smashed the ground and stuff to get metal ores out of them. Just collecting ores.

*This hammer looked Ike the one I made myself from the wood in the backyard. I used it to smash black walnuts so this is a memory of that. Earlier in the day I think there was one particular walnut that was really hard. It did frustrate me and I think that feeling of frustration was somewhat intense and buried itself into my mind.

Smashing my way out. Did I feel maybe a little bad for leaving the giant alone? We leave though.

I remember seeing a shop.

Stuck in room

Stuck in a room but finding ways to make the most out of it


Tai chi
It was weird. I was doing tai chi really. I know this is from trying out tai chi from earlier in the day. The sensations were what was weird. Somewhat lucid feeling but I was not lucid. What then? I think perhaps it was obe or something. I was just doing tai chi on top of the bed, not realizing and taking advantage of this opportunity to do something more interesting. But I did feel pretty good when I awoke though.

2019, 10-30

Skyrim: Bleak Falls Barrow

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR, I am exploring Bleak Falls Barrow for what seems like the millionth time. There are bandits at the entrance and I nail them with fireballs when they attack me. To my surprise, one of the bandits actually runs away and doesn’t return to attack again. I go into the barrow and find a few more bandits inside. They have a camp set up and a couple maps, apparently these bandits have heard there is a valuable treasure somewhere in here and they hope to claim it. They attack me on sight and I take them out with fireballs just like the ones outside.

I feel like I’ve played this level a million times, but things seem a bit different. I’m not exactly sure what is different, but something is. Thoughts of it being different slip from my mind as zombies attack. There seem to be more of them than I remember. Maybe I just set the game on a higher difficulty. Yes, that must be the difference. I fight my way through the zombies using fireballs and my sword. It also seems darker in the dungeon than I remember. Did I change the brightness settings? Well this is more realistic… an ancient crypt would be pretty dark.

I continue through the passages, fighting the zombies that attack and finally I reach the chamber with the dragon wall. It looks mostly like I remember it looking in my previous times playing this, and I think any small differences are due to an update on a static mesh improvement mod. I read the word ‘fus’ as it draws my attention right to it and then more draugr attack. There is the boss draugr that comes out of the coffin in front of the dragon wall and three others that I don’t see where they come from. They are all especially weak against fire so I let more fireballs fly.

When the draugr are all re-dead I find the dragonstone map of dragon burial sites in the treasure chest along with some gold. I have to take this back to Whiterun. I leave Bleak Falls Barrow and head down the other side of the mountain towards Whiterun. But I am still on the way when I wake up.

2019, 10-22

Skyrim: The Endless Loop

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up.

We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop.

Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet…

I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.

Friday, 18 October 2019

Reading time: 3 min 20 sec.



Here, I will explain the essential decoding of entries that will eventually include “bird resurrection” in the title. The original entries will remain in my online journal.

Something coming to life, reviving, or waking from sleep in the last part of a dream is simply the subliminal, liminal, or supraliminal anticipatory autosymbolism of waking up, the preconscious precursor of gaining control of the physical body and the emergence of consciousness and valid personal identity. That is what most final dream segments include (more so with instinctual and lucid modulation), though with an infinite variety of content. Ultimately, the most common indicator of this process for me is a bird of any number of species from dream to dream.

The foundation of this process has occurred every sleep cycle since early childhood, though I have only thus far included some of the more interesting dreaming experiences online.

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Qebehsenuef Canopic Jar (October 18, 2019). A mummified parrot in an Egyptian falcon canopic jar (Qebehsenuef) comes to life, and the bird vibrates in my hands with pleasing sensations.

The most recent mental activity before this had been in slow-wave sleep (virtual mummification). I am lucidly modulating liminal space (anticipating the drop, but it does not occur). I had intestinal pain before (and during) sleep. (A Qebehsenuef canopic jar holds the intestines.) Note that any container typically represents how the dream self cannot arouse the physical body until consciousness emergence.

Decayed Fence and Strange Weather (July 7, 2015). At the end of this dream, Ava Gardner is in a lacey black dress. She is on the floor near a couch on her elbows, with her knees up. As I grab her heels, she transforms into a Tweety Bird foil balloon of about three feet in length. I strike it against the floor while holding the bottom edge, but it remains as it is. (It was similar to “Unconvincing Resurrection” from October 18, 2016, when I tried to resurrect a dream character from his skull in a bucket of water, but out came a novelty balloon with a skeleton print.)

That dream segment (the last part of a much longer dream) is probably more ridiculous than most other examples. Balloons and birds both correlate with drop anticipation, though balloons additionally relate to a subliminal, liminal, or supraliminal focus on breathing while sleeping.

One Quail into Three (September 26, 2014). There is a tall thin paper sack with a rectangular bottom that contains a sickly quail on its side. There is a vivid vibration as I hold the paper bag. Eventually, there are inexplicably three quail in it, two healthy, one sickly. Zsuzsanna is about to sell the sack of quail to an unknown woman who arrives at our door (lesser wall mediation with doorway waking autosymbolism). I wake as she talks to her.

That dream indicates the same process and with the same modulation as the first example, though instinctually rather than lucidly. However, enigmatic space (not a dreaming process) also became a factor here. Years later, in real life, our oldest daughter took an interest in raising quail (with Zsuzsanna helping her). When selling a few in town, the buyer complained about one of them being unhealthy, though it was not; it only had one feather out of place. Thus, my dream’s scenario was also literal, but years before real-life correlation. (One quail of a small hatching as here died in another instance.)

Baby Bird (May 4, 2014). We have a baby bird (possibly a wild finch) that fell out of its nest and is living inside my makeshift terrarium outside. It is weak and sickly, seemingly injured. By feeding it small pieces of rubber cut from a bicycle inner tube, it grows and becomes healthier in a short time. Later, after feeding it potato chips, it ceases to exist.

That dream might seem bizarre to people who do not understand the co-occurrence of dreaming and waking processes. Bicycles are a more grounded form of vestibular correlation anticipation than flight is (with less expectation of the drop), so this is instinctual modulation to correlate emerging physical preparedness as much dream content is. Next, come potato chips. As they crumble easily, I associate them with the dream state losing cohesion (and the bird and anticipatory factors dissipate as a result).

The Hummingbird Power (January 2, 2007). In this dream, a hummingbird had gotten into our house, and I do not want it to become weak over time or injure itself. Holding it creates an extreme sense of compressed weight as well as pleasing powerful vibrations. Although it seems to have gotten squashed when I absentmindedly close our front door, it seems invulnerable and flies back into our house for a time.

Ceramic Chicken (from 1963) is one of my oldest validated dreams from before I could write. A statue coming to life is the anticipation of waking (cortical arousal).

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Hopefully, this entry should serve as a partial foundation for idiot-proofing my online dream journal when it comes to this type of content.

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2019, 10-17

Underground Slavery

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in a cage. There is a Dunmer outside the cage gazing in at me. He is wearing green robes and has some mechanical device over his left eye that makes it look like he has been assimilated by the Borg. I ask who he is and he says he is Shanath Selthri, we are now in Sadrith Kegran, and I am his property. I say no, I belong to no one. He says he bought and paid for me so I am his. I tell him I’ve heard enough of that bullshit, I’m out of here. He says not until he lets me out, I can’t even get out of that cage unless he lets me out. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut through the cage bars, creating an easy exit. Shanath steps back and stares at this and repeats that I am his slave and I must obey him. I find myself speaking in Disturbed lyrics. “I’m no slave, are you feeling brave? Or have you gone out of your mind?” I am thinking to cut him in two but then I stop… he’s no threat to me so there’s no need to kill. Instead I cut my blade through the air just centimeters from his chest. I’m rewarded with a look of fear and smell of urine. He has wet himself. Good enough. I unform my blade and walk out the door.

I exit Shanath’s house into a city with huge glowing mushrooms. Graceful bridges span streams of phosphorescent water and strange crab creatures have glowing things on their backs. It is as bright as noon, but when I look up I see I’m not outside, I’m are in a huge underground cavern. Everything glows a different color, the result is beautiful. I wander through the town looking at the sights. The town is filled with mostly Dunmer, though there are some other people around. I notice the other people are all wearing rags while the Dunmer are wearing brightly colored robes like Shanath had been. I approach a woman in rags and speak to her. She looks at me but doesn’t answer. I try again. A Dunmer in dark pink robes comes over and tells me to leave her slave alone. I tell her she just lost her slave. And unless she wants to lose more than that she will walk away. I am feeling angry as I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and fix the Dunmer woman with what I hope is an intimidating glare. She starts responding with, “How dare you…” but then thinks better of it and hurries off.

I turn my attention back to the woman. She looks scared. I tell her she’s safe with me now and will soon be free. I ask her if she can respond to me. She shakes her head and opens her mouth to reveal she has no tongue. I ask if these foul slave traders did that to her and she nods. I am even angrier now. I focus healing energy on the woman and it is able to regenerate her tongue. Her speech is a bit slurred as if she’s forgotten how to talk properly. She then points behind me. I look and see the woman from earlier along with a Dunmer man in green robes and several guards. The Dunmer woman points at me and says I’m the one who was so arrogant as to think I can take her slave. I glare at both of them and say true arrogance is thinking you have the right to abduct innocent people and bring them into an existence of forced labor and imprisonment. I tell her that ends now. I am taking the slaves with me. I will heal them and set them free. I brandish my Alex Mercer blade and add that if anyone interferes they will find themselves minus more than just a couple slaves.

I keep the slave woman close to me as I go to look for more. The guards block my way. I still have hope of getting out without killing so I fus the group of five guards. FUS-RO-DAH! The guards fly backwards and land in a pile. I tell them that is the last non-lethal method I will use, so do not interfere! The Dunmer man says I can’t leave so I might as well give up. I ignore him and go off to find more slaves. I find more and heal their tongues. I have a dozen slaves with me when we head for the exit. When I go to pass through I feel my energy getting drained. I see I have an amulet on that is doing it. I pull the amulet off and throw it on the ground. I see they are all wearing the amulets so I take all of the amulets off and leave them in a pile on the ground. We all walk out of a cave and into the sunlight. Everyone seems to be unsure of what to do. I figure they need money to start a new life. I pull a purse full of gold from my robes. I have tons of it! I give each person 10,000 gold to start with and I still have tons left. What do I want to spend it on? I’ll hang on to it for now. I wake up here.

Somewhere deep in the desert in a small camp of 19 men under the ridge of red rock..



The sun is burning and not moving, on the top of the ridge an unfamiliar rider appeared. "Soldiers!" He screamed and in few seconds we saw silhouettes of another hundred riders of cavalry on the edge of the hill. I pulled out my repeating rifle with an old scope and aimed for the officers, got four of them down. They shot at us and then the whole cavalry rode down the hill. Few of our man who also had horses confronted their first lines to give us enough time to escape. I jumped on my horse and left the battlefield in a fast pace finding myself alone in desert after a while.

I wander thru barren sandbanks. I see a small wooden house in the middle of nothing. When I got inside there was this weapon looking more like a rolled carpet. I hear shouting from outside and when I get out of the house I see a group of mongols on horses heading my direction. I again jump on the horse galloping away. This gun has a rope on it with two knocks that I pulled and released. I turned that against them and shot them all down in last second. There were Arabs watching me from a distance, they were camping among the old ruins. They came to me and invited me to join them. There was a beautiful woman with them, we talked for a while and I fell in love with her. I remember only her name. At night we all sat around a fire and she dissappeared in the dark between two sand pillars of the ruin. The chief of Arabs, her father said that they are heading to Iran for his daughter to marry Prince of Iran.

When everyone went to sleep I jumped on my horse and quietly got inside the ruin and there she stood. „Let´s escape together to Europe.“ I said, she really wanted to but had to stay, because of the importance of the marriage.

I only remember that I was rescuing this princess somewhere else and taking her to safety, then I woke up again and went back to sleep.. I am at the beggining of the dream, the cavalery is riding down the hill but this time I don´t run because I knew these guys were responsible for her imprisonment. I killed their commanders and the last one didn´t die even after two shots and shot back at me. I believe I dodged the shot.. I am lying down, but cannot move I have a sleep paralysis in a dream.

In reality I googled her name and it is real persian feminine name but I have never heard it before.. also the picture attached.. it is from persian desert and looks almost identical.. do you have any experience with such a „glitch“?

Lmk and have great dreams

H.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

It's night, the light in my garage turns on and I take a peak through the window. I see a guy inside my fence, by the gate near the pine tree. I can tell he is Asian and is wearing sunglasses, which is bizarre. I knock on the window and make a face like " hey, what are you doing here?" and he runs away, exiting through the gate. I get out and go after him. As soon as I turn on the road after my house to follow him, there is a building and he goes up a central staircase, many stories high. I look up to spot him but soon I lose him because there are many other people going up and down.

At my mom's. She is in the bathroom and I am in my old bedroom. I feel an itch on my legs and realize I have a few infected pores. As I watch it closely, more and more pores are getting weird, purplish, engorging, becoming furuncules. They grow so large, they become like mushrooms. I pop some of them. It is disgusting. [COLOR="#FF0000"]But I realize I am dreaming. So just for fun, I turn the mushroom furuncules into flowers. At first it is not so easy to do it, but once I get the gist, I enjoy a wave of all types of flowers in all the colors of the rainbow, sprouting through my skin and blossoming and then giving way to other flowers. It is ticklish, I really feel them bursting out and growing, it is a strange and wonderful sensation. Also it is so incredibly beautiful to watch. As a final touch, I look to the palms of my hands and visualize a lotus flower blossoming in each of them. They do appear, one white lotus in each hand, first the leafs, then the flowers opening. Then I feel so light and glowy and I naturally start floating. I want to cross the wall and fly away but my mom calls for me and I turn back, because I don't want to scare her, even if it's in a dream. On the hallway I find my friend Belchior instead of my mom. He smiles at me, doesn't say a word and I realize there is nothing keeping me here. I keep floating on air and I feel like I am expanding in size. The ceiling can't contain me. I cross through the wall and ceiling and I am floating outside. Not like flying with effort or conscientiously, just standing weightless in the air. I can see my feet. Then I see a golden throne set up in the middle of the street in front of my mom's building. I float towards it and notice a golden Buddha statue which I touch and then I am inside four walls. It is an all white and gold room, marble floors and walls, rich golden curtains and sofas and beautiful big Buddha statues everywhere, in gold or white stone, in Tibetan, Thai and other styles. There is a panoramic window to a garden outside and passageways to other rooms. An Asian man comes in in servants clothing and welcomes me. Then a few ladies also appear, with foods to serve or just offering their services. I am a bit overwhelmed and then two beautiful cats come strutting in my direction. This feels like heave and I feel that I could stay here forever and just be pampered. But why and for what? Then I wonder where this servants come from? Do they have a life and a family? Why do they work for me? Do they suffer? I can't accept having servants. I could not enjoy paradise.
I go outside to the garden. There is a glass wall separating it from some corridors that go around it and where normal people are circulating and going somewhere. I spot a girl I seem to know and I have a dejá vu. I feel like I have been here before and have seen that girl before in that exact place, but in a somewhat different situation, one in which I was her equal. But now I am separated by a wall, in a garden with waterfalls and she looks lonely and sad. I do something that breaks the separation and now they all can see me and come inside the garden. I try to talk to the girl, but it becomes quite chaotic with people talking in groups, mingling and hanging out. There is one one dude going around imitating a cow mooing.

At some nice Portuguese town, on a break from some professional training I am attending but which I do not care about at all. The lady that usually assists me at the parish council, sees me and comes talk to me about how good this training is and professional opportunities that might arise from it and I'm like "oh c'mon, I dont give a shit about it and I am not even staying 'till the end". She is a bit shocked.
I go to the next door, which is a clinic of sorts and check their vending machine at the entrance for some snacks. Also at the entrance are a few patients freaking out because the electronic system that registers the patients is down and they can't get to their appointment. I calm them down and I feel compassion for them and somehow I create the conditions for the system to be fixed.

Then outside again I see Rinpoche coming down the street with the usual entourage and I bow down as he passes by. He enters the next door and some people enter after him and close it behind, while others stay outside guarding the entrance. I feel bold and uninhibited and I say to them I'd like to go in. They say definitely no and then they also go inside and shut the door again. So I put my hand through the door and I hear them freaking out. They still don't open. So I just cut out a hole on the door with my fingers so I can look inside. Rinpoche is in another room deeper inside. I finally manage to go inside so they let me sit at a desk alongside other people waiting for a chance to meet Rinpoche.

I fell asleep with a bit of tension in my mind . I became lucid at this oddly constructed bus .
I was sitting there looking out a window and then suddenly I realized that a woman was sitting tightly behind me with her kid.
I cursed at her with a scottish accent (thank you limmy) then I asked the dream to transport me where I should be
then I suddenly woke up.
Or I thought so.
To my suprise my cousin was standing by my bed watching me menacingly, he was saying something I didn't understand, then my vision gut blurry and all, I was in sleep paralysis so i felt like I could barely move or move my face but i stumbled out of bed partially paralyzed. I knew it was not him, I thought I'm being burglarized by someone who I hallucinated to be my cousin. He then went out and I heard noises like if things are being packed . I tried to stand up and look at him while repeatedly asking who he is...
Aand then I woke up for real, realizing none of it was real.

2019, 10-04

Fus You, You Foul Bullies!

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in high school. I’m a student. Everyone is outside doing a scavenger hunt. There are items we are supposed to gather. Everyone is looking. I find a trash can with plastic bottles in it so I collect the bottles. I want to recycle them. A couple of girls laugh at me for going through the garbage. I go inside the library and find a girl reading. She finishes some soda in a red plastic cup and throws the cup away. She gets a new cup out and pours more soda. Why doesn’t she use the same cup? I go and pull the cups from the trash. The girl asks if I’m recycling. I say yes. She drinks the soda in her current cup and hands it to me before taking out another new cup. I say she can use the same cup. She laughs and pours into the new cup. I am annoyed as I leave the library. It is dark outside. I didn’t think I’d been inside that long. I start walking home. After I go a short distance, I think I’m going the wrong way. I keep going and I come to a bridge. This isn’t the way home! There are people on the bridge that look like they’re arguing. I head over there. I rub my nose and something seems off, so I pinch my nose to do a reality check. I’m dreaming!

The arguing from the people on the bridge sounds like it’s getting serious. I get closer and I hear them talking to each other, something about a hat. When I get closer still I hear expletives, some nasty slurs referring to gay people. Then the fight starts. Three guys start beating the crap out of a fourth while a fifth calls out for help. I go over there and the man calling for help tells me to go get help, fast, before they kill Ade! I don’t need help for a few bullies. I go over to them and yell at them to stop. I get their attention. One kicks the man they have been beating one more time before coming towards me. The man on the ground is writhing in pain. One of the bullies who looks to be the leader asks what I’m going to do if they won’t stop? He calls me a little girl and tells me to go away before he decides it’s ok to hit girls. I tell them to leave the two men alone or else. He asks or else what? Am I going to cry? I say no, but I will fus them off this bridge. He starts to undo his pants and says he’ll give me a fus I’ll never forget. He approaches me. I ask if they’re refusing to leave the two men alone. He says he’ll finish with them after he’s done with me.

I surreptitiously position myself where I can hit the three bullies with one fus. I tell the lead bully he’s done right now then I fus all three of them. FUS-RO-DAH! The force blasts all three bullies off the bridge. I look after the three of them and I see the splashes as they hit the water below. They struggle for a bit to regain full motion and then swim for the shore. They are swimming for different places on the shore, but that’s not a problem. They’ll live. I see someone waiting on the bank where the lead bully is heading. That person is dressed in a clown suit! What the fus is a clown doing down there? The man who had been calling for help asks me how I did that. I pay no attention, I am watching the clown as he pulls the lead bully out of the water. The bully, clearly angry and not wanting help, pulls his arm free of the clown and glares at him. That makes the clown mad. The clown’s face transforms into one big maw with what looks like hundreds of razor-sharp shark teeth. The lead bully is screaming in terror when the clown literally bites his face off! What kind of monster is that? I jump off the bridge to go after what I am thinking must be a demon of some kind. But instead of falling into the water I fall into bed and wake up.

2019, 10-02

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

The Dark Tower: I F’d Up In One Place

I am in my bathroom. I am getting ready to go to bed. I am brushing my teeth. I look down and I see my kitty Shadow sitting in front of the tub. I know Shadow has crossed the Rainbow Bridge so I think she is a ghost. I go over and stroke her soft fur. I note how soft and silky the fur feels and I hear her reply with a purr. I keep petting her and she purrs louder. The bathroom door flies open and a man in robes who looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi rushes in, opens the toilet, then hikes up his robes and sits on the pot with an audible sigh of relief followed by some obnoxious noises. Shadow hisses at him and leaves the room. I am about to scold Obi-Wan Kenobi for scaring my ghost cat away, but I stop when I realize how absurd that sounds. Instead of getting mad at Obi-Wan Kenobi I pinch my nose to do a reality check. I am dreaming! Well that explains a lot…

I want to get to the Dark Tower world. Doors are frequently used as portals in the Dark Tower world so I close the bathroom door and focus on the idea it will lead to the Dark Tower world. Then I remember I said I’d try to get MoSh in on the dream so I change my focus to MoSh’s inner world. Obi-Wan Kenobi makes some more obnoxious noises and a foul stench wafts from the toilet. I really want out of that bathroom now. I open the door and hurry through. I look around now and I see a place I don’t recognize. It looks like a normal neighborhood. MoSh is there, I go tell him it’s Dark Tower time. He asks if Jamie can come. I can’t remember who Jamie is. I ask MoSh if Jamie can handle herself if things get ugly. He doesn’t seem to know. I tell him I’m heading for the Dark Tower, or that’s where I hope to go. I look around for a door. I don’t see any door standing alone so I go to the door to a house. MoSh says he doesn’t know who lives there. I say it doesn’t matter, it leads to the Dark Tower.

I open the door and step through into a field of roses. I am on a path leading through the roses to the Dark Tower, which is standing tall and dark at the end of the path in the middle of the roses. I hear a strange sound coming towards me from the tower and then the sound of Roland’s gun firing. There is an explosion not far from me as Roland tells me to get to cover for my father’s sake, he’s throwing sneetches! I look for MoSh and I see him there with a woman, they are headed towards the tower. The Crimson King is up on a balcony of the Dark Tower, I can see him in his red robes and hear him laughing like a maniac. Now he throws two of the spherical sneetches at once. I form each arm into an Alex Mercer blade and use the flat of the blade to knock them back, they explode safely in the distance. The Crimson King is having a tantrum. I look around again and I see some strange mutant Thalmor. When the Crimson King throws three more sneetches, I use my blades to knock them in the direction of those mutant Thalmor. Three of them explode in a bloody mess. Yuck.

I see MoSh off to my left fighting with a mutant Thalmor that has a tiny little head and huge arms, but I can’t focus on that much because the Crimson King is getting hugely frustrated with his inability to hit me with a sneetch even though I’m out in the open. He keeps throwing more and I knock them away, and if I miss any Roland shoots them out of the air. I loudly ask the Crimson King if that’s all he’s got, because if it is then he’s more pathetic than I’d originally thought… and I’ve always thought he was pathetic. He has another tantrum as I get closer to the Dark Tower. It really seems as if all he’s got are sneetches, as he throws more of them. Now I am aiming them back at him. This is a bit more difficult to do so it takes a few tries before it finally works. One explosion on the balcony leads to a much larger explosion, probably the rest of the sneetches getting set off by the first one.

Then I find I am with a couple other people at the base of the Dark Tower. Roland is there and he has been yelling a bunch of names, I don’t remember what names. Roland opens the door to the tower. I realize I still have the Horn of Eld. I’d hung on to it so it wouldn’t get lost before Roland reached the tower. Roland walks through the door to the tower and I quickly follow him to give him the horn. But when I get into the Dark Tower there is no sign of Roland. I am alone. I look around and start climbing. As I see familiar scenes in the rooms off of the stairway I realize that each person entering the Dark Tower would seem to enter their own instance of it… so I won’t be able to find Roland! Shit! I hurry up a few more levels until I have confirmed that I have fucked up royally. I focus on getting to wherever Roland is. At first it doesn’t work, but finally a door opens onto an endless desert. Roland is there and looks surprised to see me. I give him the horn and tell him if he wants to shoot me for my stupidity then go ahead. He just looks puzzled as I wake.

Post a quick entry. I have 2 weeks off work so I'm not sure if my recall will improve or not.

Had some recall but forgot it

Jamie

Another naughty dream. I'm glad she is being persistent, and is one of the great qualities I love about her.

vague dreams i can't even describe

Dark Tower???

Big epic dream that I can't recall because it's like trying to comprehend a movie or something while watching it on Fast forward.

Me Jamie and Raven, are in A large tower. Every room seems to branch off into a different dream you can get lost in. A guy in red with a glowing orb in his hand Is fighting Raven... and Jamie? Not sure Jamie was there and then suddenly not there. Raven was gone too, And I was alone fighting some guy with a face growing out of his neck, Kind of like the guy from Total Recall (The arnold one). We fight for a while and then I wake up.

2019, 09-30

Skyrim: The Alex Mercer Mod

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in my car with my ex-boyfriend James. We are on our way to work. We must be on some kind of business trip because we also have a hotel room where we will be staying. We arrive and the office is right next to the hotel. When we go to the hotel we find out that our room is on the opposite side of the hotel from the office. I find that annoying because it is a big hotel and it will take a while to make the walk. I drive us to the right area and park right in front of the room. We go inside and find it is a nice room. James changes clothes right there as if we were still together. I go change in the bathroom. Fortunately there are two beds and they are separated by a temporary wall like those that often separate office cubicles.

After we are done changing we head for the office. It is a long walk. I break off to make a visit to the restroom. I find that some people are giving out free food, it is a service of the hotel. They are almost out but I am able to get a chicken drumstick and some potatoes for my breakfast. It doesn’t strike me as odd that they serve fried chicken and potatoes for breakfast. I go to the office where we will be working. I see James is jealous of my fried chicken breakfast. He says he will get some but I tell him they were almost out. He seems annoyed. I turn on my computer and get prompted to continue my setup in virtual reality. I see a VR headset on my desk. I pick it up and put it on…

Now I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason this doesn’t seem odd to be playing Skyrim VR at work. And what a great VR headset! It looks like the laboratory of a mad scientist. Right in front of me is a Thalmor that looks like he has somehow been assimilated by the Borg. He says his name is Archeron. I make fun of him, imitating his voice and saying, “I am Archeron of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” He says he doesn’t know what Borg is or about being assimilated, but I am right in that resistance is futile. He says I must be the new arrival who will help him break the tower faster. The Dark Tower? This asshole wants to break the Dark Tower? I say I will never help him. He can go fus himself.

Archeron laughs and says I will be much more cooperative after my lobotomy. I fus him right in his Borg face. FUS-RO-DAH! Nothing happens. I do a double take. Archeron says he has already modified himself beyond being affected by such things. I ask if he’s immune to being sliced in two. He says no sword in Skyrim can harm him. I say I don’t use swords from Skyrim… I use swords from Prototype. He asks a prototype of what? I answer, “Alex Mercer.” I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and tell him I’ve had a few modifications of my own, I’m no longer a mere Breton, I am an unstoppable virus! He is trying to figure out what that means when I use my Alex Mercer blade to slice him from his left shoulder down to his right hip, effectively cutting him in two. The look on his face when he dies is one of disbelief. I want to keep playing, but everything fades to black and I wake up.

2019, 09-27

Dark Tower: Parting of the Ways

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

It is night, I am standing near a campfire with Roland, Susanna, Eddie, and Jake from the Dark Tower books. Eddie and Jake are transparent. Susanna is holding Eddie’s hand and Roland is holding Jake’s. There is a young man there I don’t know. He is drawing on a pad of paper. He shows his drawing, which is a work of art. The drawing is of Eddie and Jake. As if by seeing the drawing Eddie and Jake become solid. Susanna and Roland reluctantly let go of Eddie and Jake. As they let go Eddie and Jake start fading again. I look at the drawing and I see that is also fading… but why? Roland says it’s because they’re not really supposed to be here, that’s why. Susanna grabs Eddie, Roland grabs Jake, and they stop fading. But they don’t become solid again…

I ask what is going on with Eddie and Jake. Roland says ka is trying to reassert itself. If Jake and Eddie don’t go to the world they belong in soon they might completely fade. So far they have only been able to remain in this world because of their connections. I realize that is why Susanna is holding on to Eddie and Roland to Jake, to try to anchor them in this world. Roland says there really is only one answer, Eddie and Jake have to go to the world they were meant to be in. And Patrick (indicating the man with the drawing) is the only one who can make it happen. Susanna goes over and whispers to Patrick for a bit, then Patrick starts drawing.

I hear something out in the darkness, it sounds like something is creeping about out there. I feel a sensation of being watched. Roland sees me and says Mordrid is out there, and Mordrid’s a-hungry. I say no, it can’t be Mordrid, MoSh killed Mordrid. I am sure of that. Roland says something is lurking out there. I stare out into the darkness, trying to see what’s out there. I see something is reflecting the firelight. I slip into the darkness, ignoring Roland saying I shouldn’t. I use my night vision and I find the thing. It looks like a cross between a giant beetle the size of a large dog and a praying mantis. It attacks me, but I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and slice it in two. The thing melts into a strange black fluid that flows off into the darkness.

I return to the camp and now there is a door standing near the edge of the campsite. Susanna is looking at the door, still holding Eddie’s hand. She opens it and lets go of Eddie. When Eddie and Jake get near the door they are solid, but they start fading when they move away. Eddie says that must be the place. He is reluctant to leave because he wants to reach the Dark Tower, but he knows if he stays here he won’t make it anyhow. He and Jake will fade. After some debate it is decided that Susanna will go through the door with Eddie and Jake. Roland seems worried that the door is a trap that leads to toedash space. I say if it does I will get them out. I think Roland just doesn’t want them to leave. Susanna, Eddie, and Jake go through the door. After a brief hesitation Oy follows Jake. Patrick stays behind even though Susanna tries to get him to follow.

The door closes with a resounding thud. Now there is only Roland, Patrick, and me at the campsite. Roland looks depressed. Patrick curls up and appears to go to sleep. Roland sits by the fire and stares into it. He says maybe I should have gone, too. I say it would make no difference, I will wake up back in my prison dimension where I have no skills, no talents, and no abilities. Roland says he doesn’t believe that. I say yes, I always end up there. He said no, he meant he doesn’t believe I have no skills, talents, or abilities there. I don’t answer. He looks more depressed so I put my arm around him and give him a hug. I say I’ll probably wake soon, but I will be back, I am sure of that. I want to see the tower… if the roses around the Dark Tower have the healing properties of the one in the vacant lot then maybe it can even overpower my depression. Maybe both Roland and I can be free. I wake up here.