nightmare

I am sick with strep right now and I dreamed of this last night:



I was at school and I had a bucket-like thing filled with icewater and shut with a lid. I kept my head on this because I had a horrible headache. Then someone from my church was there, but in the dream she was the school's principle, and she said "Okay, anyone who needs to go to the nurse has to go to the library instead of the nurse's room because we're doing work on it." Then she left and I begged my teacher to let me go to the nurse. As soon as I did, my friend Ryan got up and puked on someone's desk. Then my friend Hannah walked up to me and said "I will take you. Come on, Jessie." but when I followed her, I lost sight of her and got lost. Then suddenly I was on some sort of ledge that was above the cafeteria. I was really afraid and got back to the hallway. I found a place in the school that looked like a train station and I sat next to a girl and guy. Then suddenly we were outside. I saw something that looked like Disney World and I was really confused. Then I was back at the train station like place and the ground started moving. I was shoved under the little place under the wall and I think I got crushed. It hurt then I woke up.

Non-lucid, Lucid, Dream within a dream, [Commentary made while awake]

[This is a catch-up post. These dreams are from the night of December 13-14, 2010.]

[Note: I'm writing this entry well after the fact, working from handwritten notes, and even when I made the handwritten notes, I wasn't sure in what order the dream scenes had occurred. When writing this entry, I just arbitrarily put them in an order that made some kind of sense to me.]

I wake up in my bed in my room at House #1. A big, strong man is invading my bed and trying to attack me. I'm scared, and I try to get P.'s attention by yelling for her, but no one comes. I manage to evade him and escape. I know that once I'm standing up, I'm safe. I feel upset after this experience, so, to cheer myself up, I decide to go off and have a lucid flying dream.

The flying dream begins, and now I'm definitely lucid. [Yeah, that's right. In the aftermath of a regular nightmare, my non-lucid dream self decided she wanted to have a particular kind of lucid dream to cheer herself up, and my mind obliged. Weirdest DILD technique ever, but it's a pretty cool story.] At first, the dream is in third person, and I see myself flying over a beautiful town that fills a beautiful valley [now that I think of it, it looked a lot like the one in Kiki's Delivery Service]. I see another girl also flying over the town, unaided, the same way I'm flying. I consciously, deliberately shift to first-person perspective [That's a pretty neat trick. I wish I understood how I did it.] and approach closer to the other girl. I recognize her as Chihiro from Spirited Away. I come right up beside her and ask her, “This is a good way to fly, isn't it?”

“Mm-hmm!” she answers cheerfully.

I decide to ask the same question again, in Japanese this time, just for fun and because I can. “Fly no shikata wa sui ne?” [trans: “(This) way of flying is good, isn't it?” Again, dream!Japanese is weird – the word for “good” is ii in reality, not sui.]

"Un!" [trans: “Yeah!”] Chihiro answers. She continues talking in a language that I take to be Japanese at first, because the sounds of it are characteristic of Japanese, but after listening for a few seconds, I realize that the words are actually Spanish.

[Dreamskip.] I'm on foot, exploring some old, pretty brick buildings.

I wake up in my bedroom in House #1 again. P. is sitting at a table in the room, writing an essay.

I'm telling my family about the DreamViews website, but lying about its nature and telling them that it's strictly fandom-related. I tell them that my username there is “Stupid Top.” When P. finds out that I've been writing about the dreams that I've had about her, she gets sad and angry, and cries.

I wake up again in a variant of my bedroom in House #1. P. and I are in the bottom bunk together. Elsewhere in the house, there is a larger room that resembles the patio of our grandparents' house. A bunch of people from church come into the bedroom, and I explain that this is our old bedroom, and we used to share the full bed (we had just pushed our full mattress off the top bunk and onto the floor), not this twin bed. A woman in the group corrects me, calling the full bed a [something I can't remember] twin. I go along with it. The youngest S. girl is put into the full bed by her parents, but she doesn't want to take a nap.

I'm in a parking garage, and I randomly find some panties.

I'm reading a book that introduces the reader to a code of spiritual laws and rules that I realize are of Mormon origin when I see a citation that says something like “Uses 21:7” [e.g., a citation from a book whose name I don't recognize]. One of the rules in the book specifically forbids entering holes populated by worms for long dreaming. It surprises me to find that the people who wrote this book both knew about lucid dreaming and made a rule about it. [Yes, I did read the thread about why it's hard to get to the moon, and I think that's what inspired this dream.]

I'm exploring a building somewhere, and my friend Mary T. is there. [Day residue; I'd seen her the day before I had this dream.]

I'm driving over the bridge on W. Road that crosses over I-15, heading toward a buffet-style cafe, where I routinely go for breakfast [only in this dream, not in real life].

I've been both sick as a dog, and out of town. Dreams have been so crazy. At one point, I was nightmaring lucidly about the Saw movies, which I don't even watch (Saw 1-3, then gave up.), then woke into a higher layer non-lucid to find myself having sex with Jigsaw. Ew? Think this had something to do with seeing my rather useless brother-in-law. I think he fits the vic profile nicely.

Yes, you can nightmare in a lucid. It's like watching a scary movie of yourself: you're a spectator, not a participant. Yeesh.

There were a few others, but nothing as vivid as last night. That one broke into my reality for a short time. I was totally lucid in a dream of my hometown (Dream-world geography again!), and I figured that I'd have some fun in an antique/thrift shop by playing dress-up. I'm never as mature in dreams as I am in reality, but I'm much more fun. Unfortunately, there were no dressing rooms, and the outfits I had started to shrink as soon as I started walking around looking for one, so I figured that since I'm dreaming, it was alright for me to start changing there in the store in front of everyone. I got a couple of items on, then the proprietress appeared and told me that it was inappropriate to be changing clothes in the store and that Id have to leave.

I tried to reason with her that this was all a dream, so it didn't matter because she and everyone else were imaginary, but several of the other shoppers physically threw me out. Then a Gothic chick with short, fire-engine red hair and a low growly voice (I swear she was one of my old Harry Potter fanfic characters!) showed up and told me that the proprietress was very powerful and her friends were coming to beat me up for embarrassing her like that.

We ran all over my hometown trying to get away. I could have flown, and I knew it, but I didn't want to leave the girl who helped me. I was wondering how unreal they were since I couldn't control them, and was concerned for her well-being. Suddenly I was aware (watching, as if in a film again) that the proprietress was a sorceress, and to avenge herself on me she made my friend aware that she was a dream, and not "real."

She cursed us both that we would know reality. This didn't bother me, the real person, but suddenly the redhead started screaming and chanting that she wanted to know, see, hear, and live reality. She attacked me, trying to claw her way through me into the real world. When she hit me I found myself awake in my mother-in-law's spare room, yet in sleep paralysis. The dream redhead appeared as a lump in the blankets, completely non-humanoid yet I recognized her, and attacked again by biting onto my left breast and clinging on. I couldn't move to fight, being paralyzed, but I managed to get out the thought "HELP ME" aimed at my husband. He was sleeping next to me. Then the blanket-chomper vanished, only a blanket over my breast, and we were both awake. He is completely unaware of what happened, so I dunno if he helped or if I jerked and startled him awake.

But that freaked me out.

Here is a dream that made me wanna barf

I was in school, in science class actually, and I was sitting next to my friend Hannah. She looked really ill and I asked her if she was alright. She said she felt like she was gonna throw up. Then she got up, ran to the trash can...and did. Then it was the end of the school day and I sat at a computer in the hallway, just playing random games. My science teacher came out into the hallway and sat next to me. (He's like 40 I dunno) He said "Hi Jessica. Watcha doing?" I looked at him kinda freaked out and said "Um...I'm on the internet..." He nodded and put an arm around me and kissed my cheek. I stare at him in horror. "What was that?!" I screamed. He just smiled and watched me as I just looked at the computer.
--------------------------------------------
I was at home, sitting on the porch. My science teacher showed up and walked towards me. "Hi Jessie" he said, smiling. I suddenly thought "ohh noo" as he sat next to me on the porch. He was wearing shorts and a tank top, which was really freaky. He suddenly got closer to me and put his arm around me once again. I felt a shiver of disgust run through me as he rubbed my arm. "Why-are-you-here" I said, a hint of anger rising in my voice. He only said, "I wanted to see you!" I looked away from him, feeling really akward. "omg he likes me" I thought, shuddering again. I felt so akward and i wanted to get away. But I couldn't move. I felt a hand suddenly on my knee and I saw that it was HIS hand.He squeezed my knee and smiled at me, his eyes had a faint glimmer in them. Then he leaned close to me and kissed me. I pulled back, finally able to move, and I screamed. I ran away from him, feeling violated. I felt like I had been raped. I hid from him. He was looking for me. After that I woke up.

Ohhh whyyy didn't I forget that one?! Now I'm gonna feel akward when I see my science teacher next. Ughhh

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG SHARED


3:00 GMT

Gore nightmares
I had a long night of really gore nightmares. I didn’t made a huge effort to recall them, because they were so bloody uncomfortable, but some images were just carved in my memory.
First I recall being forced to watch some guy being tortured to death. A group of men crushed and shredded his limbs and while he was being hanged from somewhere, they were plucking bits of flesh and bone slowly from him, to prolong the excruciating pain. I recall making an effort to wake up from this awful dream but not being able to do so right away.
Later I recall being chased by some guys – possibly the same ones, from whom I had escaped – and they are trying to kill me with an axe. I’m inside some barn, jumping fences and what have you. They hit some innocent guy (caught in the middle) in the chest with the axe, which explodes in a shower of blood. I then fight one of the guys and get his axe from him. Then I’m forced to defend myself by using it against them. I feel really bad for using so much violence, but I see no other solution. I cut some arms and legs and kill or mortally wound them all. Then I don’t recall anything else.

8:00 GMT

Back to University
I’m at a university, which is different from the one I attended, but I still feel It's my university. I’m visiting the corridor where I used to have some classes in the amphitheatres when a group of students passes by me, freaking out, because they were in charge of booking a room for their class and they messed up and the room is now occupied with another class. Before their professor arrives, I help them finding an empty room. They thank me and go inside. I continue down the corridor, feeling very nostalgic about college life.
I am then invited to join a special class for ex-students visiting from all over the world on this special day. I’m sitting on the left row of tables a large room which looks more like a warehouse or a barn. It’s clearly an improvised classroom to welcome such a big group. I do a trick with a pencil, like making it stand up on the table, to impress a colleague next table and this triggers my lucidity. I decide to leave this place and go outside. I think about flying through the roof or crossing the wall, but end up just walking through the door, because I don’t want to disturb the other DC’s or dreamers’ dream. The professor calls for my name and either is asking me to go back to my place or for input on something. But I smile and say “No, no, I’m out of here. Have a good day!”

The hidden treasure of the Town of Denn
Outside I think I can use this opportunity to achieve the RPG goal. So I see some woods and think this could be the forest outside the Town of Denn, but there’s no town around so I must look for the real one, not settle for this weak version. But here there are no holes on the ground, no walls, no doors, nothing I can use as portal and I’m not so good at just opening portals yet. So I decide to simply spin over myself while wishing to teleport to Denn. It has the double function of making lucidity stronger.
When I stop I am on top of a hill over the Town of Denn. There’s an earth road spiralling through some stone walled terraced gardens to the centre of the town. I see farmers working, I see people taking water from a well, I see merchants, etc. People are dressed in very colourful medieval clothes, mostly in brown, green and wine tones. There’s a lot of activity going on and I would have loved to just observe it, but I must not let it distract me or I will not finalize my task. I fly down over the city centre but I only stop at the outside walls to look around into the woods. Where to look for the treasure? It could be anywhere. I decide to go to an area where the fortress walls are breached. It’s as good as anywhere else and it is the place where the forest outside is more dense. But once I’m there I have no clue where to dig. I just try to follow my instinct. I see a stone at the very end of the wall, which looks completely different from the rest. It is whitish and smooth. I clear the dirt from it and find some inscriptions as if it is from a tomb. It clearly doesn’t belong there. I lift it up, hopeful to find something under it. I find nothing, just more dirt, but I decide to dig right there. But then when I turned the stone over to put it on the floor, I noticed some concavity on it and inside it I found a small box. I get it out and it seems made of plaster, because it is white and light. But it ain’t soft and malleable like plaster. It has some high relief patterns carved and some rest of paint in pinkish and bluish tones. The drawing looks like a Mayan design On the bottom right of this strange box there is a round button. I press it and it opens in two pieces. The two pieces have more carved drawings, on the left plaque more patterns, like stylized roses and crosses inside circles and on the right plaque carvings of animals, like a whale, a moose and you name it, floating between clouds in the sky and coming down to earth. The plaques then split up into 5 and then 10 parallelepiped pieces. But it wasn’t broken, it was some automated mechanism. I then started moving these little parallelepiped pieces in my hand and found out they were magnetic and could be put together again in different combinations. They kind of naturally started to rearrange themselves into a different sequence and formed completely new designs. On the left plaque there was now some kind of reddish monstrous creature and on the right plaque a different kind of yellowish monstrous creature with what seemed to be a monstrous robotic dog under his command. I was like “What is this about?” Then I realised there were probably many more combinations of the plates which would explain who these creatures were and what was the meaning of all this and what this thing was for. But I started to slip out of the dream and I woke up.

10:00 GMT

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays to all. Dreams do not stop for holidays, however, so here's my recall from last night:

#974:
Date: December 23rd, 2010
Length: 6 minutes

This dream was quite interesting, unfortunately it was pretty long and complex and much of it has faded from memory. Essentially, I think I was on some kind of alien planet, or maybe it was just Earth, but something was deeply wrong. It seemed that some very serious (ie, humanity-threatening) event was going on, though I'm not quite clear what. I think someone (aliens?) had launched a massive operation, perhaps as a kind of experiment. I vaguely remember running from monsters in the early part of the dream. Not only that, however, I felt like no one could be trusted anymore. Most humans around me had been changed in some way, behaving like zombies in the service of whoever was behind this.

I met up with somebody who was still normal, and we tried to get out of this area, a large place which had some resemblances to my college campus. My familiarity with the campus helped me figure out where we were going. At some point, I think the dream surroundings sort of morph, and I feel like I'm part outside in a city and part in a movie theater. I realize I really, really need to take a leak, even though it may be dangerous to wander off to find a bathroom. I split up from the person with me, and we agree to meet up somewhere. I then follow a Restroom sign into some kind of alley.

I turn left at the end of the alley, almost bumping into a bunch of people who seem somewhat suspicious of me. I take a look around, and see a sort of large lot that is filled with a crowd of people (zombies?), I think listening to some kind of concert. Everyone looks sort of rugged and angry, like a mob. Within the crowd, I see someone I used to know in high school, and he notices me. He invites me over, but I quickly walk away, up some kind of hill.

I now find myself in a pretty open area, kind of like a long valley. After more walking, I reach some kind of building. In front and inside of it are people who all look normal. However, just before I enter the building, I start hearing screaming, and realize that some more freakish creatures have been released. People are panicked and confused, unsure exactly what is happening. More and more, I realize that whoever is behind all this is basically toying with humans and experimenting on them. Despite the panic and the danger, I quickly step into the building, go up one floor, and find a bathroom. I quickly take a leak and walk out, figuring that there is nothing I can do to help at this point.

I eventually reach the point where my companion was to meet me. I don't quite recall if he (or was it she?) was there.


There are some other dream fragments -- I'm not positive if they are part of this dream or not, though they did "feel" quite similar. I guess it doesn't really matter, here they are:

- I was in an old trailer. Outside the world seemed devastated, post-nuclear style. Looking around, I saw some strange writing scrawled on the wall to my left. There were a few words written in one style, and then the word BLOOD written in much larger letters in a blank spot between two of the words. A few moments later, a woman entered the trailer. She was apparently my wife.

- I was in some kind of room in a house or mansion, trying to figure out some sort of mystery (a murder?). Everything felt very eerie and tense as I tried to look for clues, though I don't really remember any details.


Could I get a nice, long lucid dream for Christmas, pretty please?

30th- Had a longer dream about being chased by an old neighbour in a barn or cottage, and i escaped into the rafters. (nightmare)

3rd- Had a dream that Moose and i were at a hotel together somewhere in europe, we were crashing after a long day of travelling. We had our own rooms within the hotel room we were in, but i fell asleep on the couch. Next thing i know, its early in the morning and i start to pack everything so we can head back out when Moose woke up. I went into her room to pack her stuff and she had a tent half set up in the middle of her room that i took down and i remember picking up socks that were everywhere. I finished packing and went into another room and watched a movie with my headphones on so i didnt wake her, and the maid came in with an open box of candy that i had, saying she had to take the rest back and gave me my weed stash that i had put in there for whatever reason. Weird dream.

5th- My notes say: "McDonalds if Hitler was still in charge." But i dont remember that dream, just lulzy that it happened.

13th- Had a dream that i was back in college, it was the beginning of my new semester and i was drafting bathing suits, and the teacher told me: "You have enough marks to graduate now, so you can stop if you want or you can stay and learn jackets." I agreed to finish the class.
-Frag. about meeting a cousin of mine at a miss-matched subway station in Toronto. Almost didnt recognize him, gave him a hug and said: "Shall we go?" and woke up.

15th- Had a dream that LimboCity was lost in my area and he found me at a bus stop so i could help him find his dad whom he left in Toronto. He tested me by sending me a txt and waiting for me to receive it, so he could make sure it was me before approaching me. I had never seen a picture of him before but i knew it was him. When i woke up i checked my inbox and he told me he had a dream about calling me. I told him about this and he showed me a picture of him, it was identical. Very weird, is that a shared dream?

23rd- Some frag.s that i was having a bunch of online convos with people, i remembered who and some context when i woke up for a few seconds but not long enough to write them down.
- I was part of a group of friends in the 70's and we were all getting ready (seperately) for a semi-formal or a prom. One girl was a dancer had a crazy reputation with boys, and i was with her -taking the bus to the dance. Some guys came onto the bus and it transitioned into the right place, the moms who were volunteering were on stage and were asked to lead the first dance, so everyone partnered up with whoever the came with and danced, guys were dancing with guys and girls with girls. I saw a DC version of a friend from my work walk by in modern clothing and called her name but she didnt hear me. I turned to my friend that i was dancing with and all of a sudden it was my friend from college, Val. I scanned the room in confusion and everyone was acting like it was Reefer Madness and Val kissed me. Then i woke up.

I had two dreams last night... (none were lucid)

I was outside at my house. I heard multiple meows near me. So I looked around. There were a bunch of cats just sitting there looking sad. I think there were about 20. I picked them up and let them stay in our little "playhouse". Then there were a bunch of mice and the cats went crazy...Then I woke up...

I was in band practice. Well, band practice was over, and I went over to my friend "Em" and we walked down the stairs. Suddenly, we were in something that seemed like a scary game. It made me kinda think of Jumonji (or however you spell that). We were in some sort of container. We had to find a way out. There were fake snakes and there was a snake shaped gouge in the wall. So we picked up the snakes and shoved all of them into this until we found one that fit. Then the door opened and we received a bronze charm that looked like a snake. We went through about three more, each different and more difficult each time. We got charms once we completed each of those. Then I was suddenly with my little brother. We went through about seven. They were insanely hard by now and my little brother, being only seven, (even though he's really smart) started to cry. He was scared. We had to get out of this! They just kept appearing and we couldn't get out! Finally, when we had about 20 0f the charms, we came to what was the last, so called "challenge". We had to climb up the "eiffel tower" in KingsIsland. We climbed up the stairs, it was raining and storming. I held on to my little brother, who was shaking like a leaf, asnd we climbed. Finally we were at the top. We got another charm(this one shaped like the eiffel tower) and we poofed back home. Then I woke up. That was a freakin' scary dream!! Heck man, that, for some reason, seemed freakin' real!

I had two dreams last night... (none were lucid)

I was outside at my house. I heard multiple meows near me. So I looked around. There were a bunch of cats just sitting there looking sad. I think there were about 20. I picked them up and let them stay in our little "playhouse". Then there were a bunch of mice and the cats went crazy...Then I woke up...

I was in band practice. Well, band practice was over, and I went over to my friend "Em" and we walked down the stairs. Suddenly, we were in something that seemed like a scary game. It made me kinda think of Jumonji (or however you spell that). We were in some sort of container. We had to find a way out. There were fake snakes and there was a snake shaped gouge in the wall. So we picked up the snakes and shoved all of them into this until we found one that fit. Then the door opened and we received a bronze charm that looked like a snake. We went through about three more, each different and more difficult each time. We got charms once we completed each of those. Then I was suddenly with my little brother. We went through about seven. They were insanely hard by now and my little brother, being only seven, (even though he's really smart) started to cry. He was scared. We had to get out of this! They just kept appearing and we couldn't get out! Finally, when we had about 20 0f the charms, we came to what was the last, so called "challenge". We had to climb up the "eiffel tower" in KingsIsland. We climbed up the stairs, it was raining and storming. I held on to my little brother, who was shaking like a leaf, asnd we climbed. Finally we were at the top. We got another charm(this one shaped like the eiffel tower) and we poofed back home. Then I woke up. That was a freakin' scary dream!! Heck man, that, for some reason, seemed freakin' real!

12/21/10 This Is The Way I Pray...
Note: It seems that Lujan has been making things difficult for Asuka and MoSh again, I'm not sure what has set him to start being an ass again. But I am thinking he needs a little discouragement from continuing to do that. I spent some time thinking up some nice nightmares made just for Lujan. So here are a few highlights from the night of nightmares Lujan had…

Dude Looks Like a Lady
Lujan is at a strip club filled with the most beautiful women ever, all of them are dancing around a pole and stripping slowly down to the point where they have nothing on but what their mommas gave them. The tops come off, the women shake their breasts teasingly as they remove their bras. Then it's time for the bottoms come off, leaving each woman only wearing sexy and colorful panties… then the panties came off. Impossibly, huge hairy dicks sprung out of the tiny panties, and the "women" started swinging their hips, they all came in close around Lujan, so he is now surrounded in a pocket of dicks all pointed at him, and the "women" are laughing as each one of them cum on him at the same time, which results in Lujan puking all over the place.

The Way I Prey
"Another dream that will never come true, just to compliment your sorrow…" - Disturbed
Ok, well the earlier scene may have been amusing, it didn't really accomplish anything. The next nightmare is a work of art, it comes in the form of a multiple level dream, which I hope has had the effect of convincing Lujan that any further attempts to bother Asuka will lead to some very unpleasant situations for him. The course of the dream was inspired by the song Prayer by Disturbed. This one starts off as what I'm sure is a very pleasant dream from his point of view. He is sitting in on a porch swing near the pool in his inner world with Asuka right next to him, or he thinks it's Asuka… Actually, it's me, so I pretend to be into him for a bit, but when I lean in for what he expects to be a kiss, I turn into a twisted version of myself, Witchblade formed into a nasty looking claw with which I am gripping his neck, glaring at him and growling, eyes glowing red like a demon… I tell him that if he wants to avoid being trapped in an endless nightmare, he will make sure he never bothers Asuka again. For just a bit he acts worried, but then he laughs, he says this is a dream, and he's not going to waste his time with me when his woman is waiting for him…" He attempts to wake himself up…

"Another life that I've taken from you, a gift to add on to your pain and suffering…" - Disturbed
Lujan wakes up in his own bed, or at least it looks like his bed, he chuckles to himself and rolls over to see me standing over him by his bed, so I pin him to the bed by the neck using an Alex Mercer style claw on my left hand, not convinced of the consequences yet? "I think that you might have to take another taste, a little bit of hell this time." I tell him that this is a nightmare from which he will never escape. He says that's not a power I have, so my threat is empty, and just for making the threat he is going to have some extra fun with Asuka… I use an Alex Mercer claw on my right hand to tear Lujan virtually in half, in response to the pain most likely, he wakes up… or tries again to wake up…

"Another truth you can never believe has crippled you completely…" - Disturbed
Lujan wakes up and gets out of bed, he is muttering to himself about how that bitch dared make threats against him when there is no way I could ever… manage… to… then he stops his muttering and looks over at me, I have remained in my demonic form, glowing eyes, evil look, Alex Mercer claws on both hands… Lujan is getting mad now, he says he doesn't know what shit I am playing at, but I had better stop if I know what's good for me, because I would only be making matters worse by… the next thing out of his mouth is a cry of pain, as I put some of the tentacles like is used in Prototype by Alex Mercer, and they have emerged from the ground beneath Lujan and pierced through his legs, binding him painfully to the floor. "Do you believe now that you can never escape from the nightmares I create?" followed by an evil laugh… then Lujan tries again to wake up.

"All the cries you're beginning to hear, trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening!" - Disturbed
I have a little time to set up the next phase of the nightmare, so I transform the room where Lujan will be waking up into a hospital bed in the middle of a really creepy and twisted hospital, which is there for the sole purpose of performing cruel and unusual experiments on the unfortunate individuals trapped within its walls. The hospital looks like those in the video game series Silent Hill, where everything in the hospital has been transformed into twisted and backwards forms of what is expected. Add the extra effect of people in the other rooms crying out in pain and fear, and it became a very creepy setting indeed. The tortured cries in the other rooms are what "awakens" Lujan, at first he thinks he is going to wake up for real, and yells at someone to shut up while he's sleeping, but then he apparently realizes it isn't any normal sound and opens his eyes to see the creepy place he is in. I have transformed myself, as well, now I am one of the twisted nurse creatures from Silent Hill, I am carrying a syringe with a huge and filthy needle, Lujan is staring at me in shock, I tell him he just needs a little shot… He looks at the needle and tells me to keep it away from him, I tell him he has to take his medicine… and I'm sorry, but that left foot is going to have to go. He looks down at his left foot, which is now rotten and crawling with maggots and other assorted insects, he is trying to pull the bugs and stuff off of the foot when I stick him with the needle and inject the fluid… there… that didn't hurt, did it? The sound of the cries becomes deafening as Lujan adds his own cries, the fluid is burning him on the inside… then he "wakes up" again.

"Let me enlighten you, this is the way I pray…" - Disturbed
I am now in a more normal looking dream with Lujan, he is looking around nervously as if he expects to be attacked at any given point, he looks over and sees me there… I look like my normal self now. He says he doesn't know what shit I am up to, but it isn't going to work, my tricks and illusions won't work. I tell him they aren't illusions, it is just a small sample of the nightmares I can create… there's plenty more where that came from… he says I can't keep him in a dream forever, and once he is out of this dream he would have his way with Asuka and it would be all my doing. Apparently he had not yet had enough…

"Living just isn't hard enough, burn me alive inside! Living my life's not hard enough, take everything away!" - Disturbed
In an instant the serum I injected in him earlier becomes active again, I can even see the fire burning inside of him when he opens his mouth to cry out but is completely incinerated instead.

"Another nightmare about to come true will manifest tomorrow…" - Disturbed
So now it's time for another false awakening, this time I am not visible when Lujan wakes up in bed and gets up. He says something about that was an intense dream, then he looks around the room. He walks to the door and opens it, but he doesn't step outside. For outside the door it is not normal as it is in the room. Outside the door is Silent Hill, the twisted dark version of a town, though I have no idea what his home town looks like so I can't replicate it correctly. That doesn't seem to be what he is noticing right now, however, as there are creatures moving around in the mist and cries of pain and torture everywhere. I have transformed into a zombie at this point, and I am lumbering towards him like a zombie would do, there is blood all over my face, I reach out and grab his arm and proceed to rip a large mouthful of flesh from the arm… yuck… he pulls away and slams the door, I puke. Ok… that was more of a nightmare for me than him… I change to my normal form and teleport into the room, he is demanding I return his inner world to normal. I ask how he is so certain that his nightmares have not manifested into reality. He says he knows it's a dream, this is not his reality. I say but the nightmare is now your reality, and you will never wake up. That doesn't stop him from trying yet again…

"Another love that I've taken from you, lost in time, on the edge of suffering…" - Disturbed
Back in Lujan's usual inner world, the place with the nice house and the pool, I am lying on a lounge beside the pool in a revealing bikini, I am in the form of Kanmuri. Lujan is looking around nervously as if expecting something nasty to happen at any moment, but nothing does. As Kanmuri, I walk up behind Lujan and ask what is wrong with him. He jumps about three feet as he turns to look at me, I make a point to look perplexed. He seems glad to see it is me (Kanmuri) and grabs hold of me a bit too roughly for my liking, but it seems he is doing it out of desperation rather than cruelty. He says he has been trapped in the worst nightmares, a series of nightmares, each time he thinks he wakes up he finds it's another nightmare. He says it is over now, and I (Kanmuri) know how to help him relax. He reaches out towards me to embrace me, but I push him away. He seems surprised at that and asks what is wrong. I don't answer, I just disappear into nothingness. He is calling for her to come back, but a hollow voice speaks and says he has turned away a woman who would have him and is after one who wants nothing to do with him… the entire place is suddenly covered with snow and ice, a frigid wind is blowing, the plants are now dead. Too bad, it looks like you've been shut out in the cold, all alone… a hollow laugh follows that comment. The cold wasteland around us literally shatters like glass, leaving Lujin falling into space…

"Another taste of the evil I breed will level you completely…" - Disturbed
I am floating in a void with Lujan right beside me, I'm not sure exactly how to read the look on his face, I think he is trying to look angry, but I can tell the nightmares are starting to get to him, the fact he has seemingly woken up many times and yet is still trapped in this dream. I have said I can keep him in the dream indefinitely, even forever, and it is starting to look like that might be true. He says he wants out of this dream right now, he wants to wake up. I tell him that is easy enough, just say he will never go after Asuka again. He said he would bring his woman back with him if he wants to. I tell him that he is asking for another taste of the evil I have brought, although I can't promise he'll survive it. He says he wants out of the dream immediately. I tell him if that's the case, he should just wake up.

"Bring to life everything that you fear, live in the dark, and the world is threatening…" - Disturbed
So now I am with Lujan in a completely normal looking room, or at least I can't see anything strange about it. He is looking nervously around, I am invisible so he can't see me. Well, there is one thing odd about the room… there are no windows or doors in it. He is looking for a way out, he seems rather desperate to find an exit from this room. There is no exit revealed, but the walls do start closing in from all directions, causing the already small room to become even smaller… The walls change from ordinary walls to steel, and that metal becomes red hot, so hot that it is glowing, the temperature in the tiny room soars. Lujan is calling for someone to get him out of the room, out of the dream, his skin is burning and blistering painfully.

"Living just isn't hard enough, burn me alive inside! Living my life's not hard enough, take everything away!" - Disturbed
The walls are suddenly gone, he is back in his ordinary inner world, and he immediately heads for the pool in search of some relief from the burning heat… but the pool is filled with red hot lava instead of water, so no help there. He is surrounded by beautiful women, all of them scantily dressed, and they are all crowding around him. But when they get close enough, they do not bring gentle caresses or love, they have fingernails that are more like razor sharp claws, and they immediately start clawing at Lujan, pulling at the already burned flesh, tearing it off, a couple of them are eating it, it really looks quite disgusting… As that is happening I hear him calling out for me this time, calling to Raven, so I become visible just outside the group of ravenous women who are tearing at his flesh. He says he'll do it, he'll leave Asuka alone, just let him out of this dream! I look at him with doubt, I say if he goes anywhere near Asuka, if he even so much as looks at Asuka, if anyone else does anything to Asuka on his behalf, he'd better be sure he isn't even thinking about her, or he will be back in this dream before he knows what happened, and the dream will not end, but it will go on forever. The eternal nightmare. He says he will have nothing to do with Asuka, he doesn't even want to hear the name, just get him out of this nightmare!

"Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one…
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, cast aside…
Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one…
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, you've made me turn away…" - Disturbed
As this part of the song is playing, I hold my hand out to Lujan, offering to help him get away from the women, who are covered in his blood and look more like monsters than women… They don't want to let him respond to me, but he finally manages to reach out and take my hand… a healing energy flows over both of us, forcing the ravenous women into the pool of lava where they are consumed by flames. Lujan has been completely healed, gone are the burns, and the places the women had been tearing at his flesh are healed as well. That brings noticeable relief from the pain, I can tell just by looking at him. As the light healing energy floods the entire inner world, or as much as I can see, the whole place returns to the way it normally is, a nice pool and a nice house, Kanmuri is over by the house, looking out with a confused look on her face, I wonder what it has looked like to her…

"Living just isn't hard enough, burn me alive inside, living my life's not hard enough, they take everything from you…" - Disturbed
"Now remember your promise," I say to Lujan, who seems relieved to be back in his normal inner world, enough so that he might start kissing the ground at any moment, "Because if I find out you fucking lied to me I'll have to come back… and you don't want me to have to come back. You think you just had a nightmare? That's a walk in the park compared to what will happen if I have to come back. Eternal nightmare, that's what you will get, an eternal nightmare, and you know I can do it." He is babbling incoherently, I can only make out a few words such as "Never" and "Asuka" and "Stay away" and I piece together that he is saying he will never go near Asuka again, and will stay away from her… Kanmuri is standing there with us now, well actually Lujan is hunched over on the ground babbling, Kanmuri wants to know what happened to Lujan, I tell her he needed a bit of a lesson, so if she wants him to care for her instead of Asuka, she could make progress towards that by caring for him now, he would be in need of some comfort and some gentle treatment since he had been treated rather harshly in his nightmare. So Kanmuri helps Lujan stand up, he says he wants to make sure Asuka is nowhere near him, that she can't get anywhere near him, because it might look like he had gotten near her on purpose… Kanmuri is talking in a soothing voice, saying Asuka is nowhere to be seen, she is not here and would not be coming here. He is saying something about monsters, and evil demon women, Kanmuri is telling him none of those are here, he is safe in his own inner world. She gives me a strange look that says she finds what I have done to be disturbing to say the least, and I agree with her on that, but if it will make him leave Asuka and MoSh alone, it will have been worth it.

Hours of sleep: 8
Recall:3/5
Vividness: 3/5

Oh my Gosh, what a crazy night

I'm somewhere. This sounds crazy, but I couldn't see at all, what was going on around. I didn't see anything, I didn't see a white page, or a black one. No. There is nothing. Kind of hard to explain, but there was really nothing. Strange.
This lasted about 5 seconds or so, than I saw one of my professor of university in front of me. He was talking to me, but I heard nothing. I just saw his lips moving, but no sound was coming out. After 3 seconds or so, his voice appeared slowly, than I could hear that he was saying [in German, his mother-tongue] that he had corrected my paper and that he wanted to speak a bit about it. He said, that we had to go in his mobile-home. I looked around me and I saw, that the void had disappeared, I was standing in a field, in front of me was a mobile-home. I had the feeling that I was in some circus or an amusement park.
His mobile-home was really tiny, I just thought:
- Well, it seems that professors don't earn that much money...
I was still confused, because I knew that he was one of the important researcher in human science at my university. Strange.
So I entered and I couldn't believe what I saw. This tiny mobile home had three big rooms about 4 meters high, 5 meters wide and 7 meter long. It looked like an old mansion or something like that, but it was decorated and built like a Swiss chalet. I was so impressed that I couldn't say anything. The professor said, as he closed the door:
- Well, I wanted to bring something familiar with me. You know, when you live away from your motherland, you get a bit nostalgic.

Just for info: he's Swiss

He offered me a seat at his bar (yes there was a bar too! ) and he talked to me, still in German:
- I corrected your paper and I was kind of amazed. You got nearly everything right, you did just one fault, but it isn't worth speaking about it. Well you got 18 of 20.
I wanted to converted it up to 60 points, but I had difficulties to calculate and after two or three tries, I finally got the right number. This confused me, because I'm good in math.
- But this isn't really the reason, why I wanted to talk to you. You gave an example of writing a novel in one question. I just wanted to know, if you write novels in your free-time.
Really? Did I wrote that? Well that's right, but I couldn't remember that I did it.
- Yes that's true, I said in German.
- Well, tell me a bit about it.
I wanted to explain a bit, but for some reason, the words didn't came out as I wanted. Although I'm a fluent German speaker and I write my novels in German, I just kept on using inappropriate words and expression to explain my activity as author. He looked at me really confused, I knew that I was making bad publicity for my writing skills. I felt so ashamed, like a little boy, who had broken an old porcelain vase. I saw that he was smiling and was kind of amused about that. I stopped my speech and I ran away

I'm in school again, except I'm my real age, 47. None of the other students know this, though, and if the teachers know it they don't care, so I get no special treatment. As usual, I have trouble finding the classrooms. If I'm late for history class or haven't done my homework, which is usual, I skip the class. In fact, I skip history the whole semester. I usually skip gym, too, because it's first thing in the morning and, well, I'd rather be at Starbucks. (Who in the world expects a 47-year-old to perform well in a high school gym class anyway??) I get my report card, with As and Bs in everything except history and gym. History is a B based on the final exam, for which I just had to read the textbook, but it's marked down to a D because you lose one mark for every class missed or late, up to two grades down. As I'm reading this at home with my sister and parents present (and I'm still 47), I remark, "You know, I'm 47 and I already have a Master's degree. These marks don't even matter because the school board already has my marks from 1981. This year is just filler anyway until I can arrange to be in a university-level film production program. Why should I even worry about it?" Everyone agrees.

This is a recurring dream. History and gym are usually the subjects failed. Also, the term "filler" might have come from my having cooked a tofu fake-egg-salad sandwich for my mom's lunch yesterday and explained to her about tofu being best used as tasteless "filler", for texture and for a vegan to get a full protein serving with all the amino acids and much fewer calories. (She had been grossed out by the idea of tofu until I'd explained this. Tofu is disgusting, to vegans too, if you eat it unprepared. It absorbs the flavour of whatever you cook or marinate it in.)

But.... How did "filler" in that context translate over to "filler" for the high school year I'm usually repeating in my recurring dream? Those are two totally different meanings, and that's a big conceptual jump!

• I remember it was me and another girl that was at least a couple years younger than myself, we were going through this really old building almost like a green house but extremely overgrown, and dark. I can't remember everything in this building but you could tell that various experiments have been tried here. we walked into a room were there were these rows of frozen blocks with snakes in them in this table-like freezer well we heard a noise somewhere in the building and freaked, so I grabbed one of the frozen snake blocks and shoved it in my pants (for protection if I need it I thought) and we escaped through this semi-gaping whole in the corner big enough o fit us through--then after that the next thing I can remember is myself and this girl sitting on my bedroom floor and watching television (spongebob if I can remember correctly...) my mom came to say something to us and that's when the snake thawed and slithered out of my shorts and went after my mother trying to kill her so I got up and stomped on its tail end and it turned around and bit me in the thigh; when I wake up i remember what the bite marks had looked like and felt the urge to check my leg--upon doing so I found the same bite marks still on my leg.

• When I was really young, I would have this reoccurring dream; but only when I slept in the room we stayed in while living with my grandparents; I will tell it exactly as I examined/thought of/about it as I did when I was this age. This is the only true reoccurring dream I have ever had. I would either see this through a third person perspective, or the woman's. It would be outside of Publix, or Albertsons in the dark, with only the store's emergency lights lighting the parking lot. The women would be always be wearing a very sexy, flattering, red dress. She was exceptionally gorgeous, and more than likely in her early twenties. She would be walking into the parking lot coming from the direction of the store, and walking up to her would be this grotesque alien. He had a dark cloak usually of reds, and purples. His face was a sight of horror; dark, somewhat slimy, rough, and you could see his brownish-pink brain protruding from his skull. His eyes would be set on the women, intent on rape. I could feel his thoughts...I could feel his emotions and urges toward this women; and I hated it, but I wanted it...I knew..I felt what he did. But, I could also feel the woman's fear as this alien approached her; she too knew what he wanted and she was helpless and vulnerable, she could do nothing if he really acted upon his urges, she couldn't fight this being. I would never actually see it or have it happen to me (depending on the perspective i watched it from), I would always wake up right as he was about to strike...

• I remember this dream vaguely. I was on a beach and I'm not sure exactly what happened but I dived into the ocean to save something or someone, and I became a mermaid. There were many obstacles that made up this ocean space, and as I swam around I had to face many of them to attempt to free the person from a trap somebody had placed them in which I believe consisted of many ropes, and I believe there was a large clam involved, though I regret to say I can not describe/remember this dream as I once could have.

I will add on to this post, as I need to go, but I have a couple more past dreams I would like here.

Not sure about time. 12/21/10
Dream
vivid dream
lucid dream
Awake


I awake at midnight. For some reason, I call my friend and we go outside. As we are walking, we see a few people, that are playing outside. Both of us think this is normal in the dream, however. We pass an old elementary school that is abandoned. After walking to to school yard we notice a somewhat overweight man with a butcher knife, attempting to cut the wall. He notices us and starts following us slowly. We start running back, all the faces of the people have changed to blank and emotionless. I remember that something IS DIFFERENT THAT REAL LIFE HERE. I take out my phone because my subconcious tells me to (in reality, I have a dream check page on my phone, with a analog clock, some text, and other similar things). I see the analog clock which is a dream sign, somewhat, and become istantly lucid. At the same time I wake up with an imaginary cellphone in my hand, this has happened many times. I wake up once I notice I'm lucid.

I'm playing Witch #1 and MacBeth (cross-gender casting) in a big amphitheater. Places is called and I'm not even in costume. I miss my entrance and the stage manager takes over my role, reading from the script. Everyone gives me the freeze-out and I'm mad at myself and everybody else. Next night, closing night, I've had so many fights with everybody that I lose my temper and refuse to perform. They pick someone who's younger, better trained, and brilliant. Serves me right.

After the play ends, I send a text message to the screen where the final credits are rolling. I forget what it was, but it makes the audience laugh. I get onstage and do a brilliant monologue, feeing my way through the blocking and using all the aisles and balconies, fired up, beautifully. I get applause and I know I've earned it. I've felt the magic. Too late, though.

I'm leaving the theatre. Someone congratulates me and says, "Great job!" I reply, "Yeah - eventually," and smile faintly. She reassures me that I can act.

I go home, exhausted, and see a rerun of Friends on TV. I remember why I love that show. Because I want to make people laugh. The great Shakespearean dramatic roles speak to my depths and purge me. But if I were Jennifer Aniston, I could be a part of a cohesive, symmetrical and perfectly bonded cast - a family. And a pretty one. Sometimes that's just what I want. It feels restful.