non-lucid

I'm back from my trip to Colorado! It was amazing and I got to climb Pike's Peak. The first night there I had several dreams that stuck with me until now(a few days later) and I'm finally getting a chance to record them. I don't remember that much anymore but I'll put some down.

regular dreams: 7-8-10

This dreams was based off of some conversations I had with friends. Sometimes when it looked like it was going to rain outside I would be joking around saying "It's go' rayne foooool!" and acting all ghetto. So I guess this is where it came from.


It was the morning before heading out to climb Pike's Peak(just like in RL). I turned on the news to see the weather for the day. This black guy came on with the weather and said "It's go' rayne this mornin! It's go' rayne in ma 'hood!" This made me really sad because [I thought that we were going to have nice weather for the trip.

It turns out that it did rain that day, but not until the afternoon after we arrived at the camp. Whew.


There were some more dreams but I dont remember/want to share them.

I started off in some video game. I was with 3 other people. We all had a different class. I believe there was a mage, archer, healer, and something else. It was some sort of PvP arena. We had made it through many rounds and now we were marching off to yet another tournament. (This dream lasted much longer than described, though I can't remember much of it)

Then I was at some sort of ceremony with my class. We were all on horseback in some spacious area. We had to ride up to these people and accept some reward something, and then walk away.

I started off unmounted. There was someone cantering. JO commented that I wasn't going as fast as him. I was hopping around as if I was cantering and explained to him that my leg was sore so I couldn't go as fast.

Eventually I ended up on a horse again. I accepted my award and then went away. I saw someone cantering so I figured that I would be allowed to too. I urged the horse to go as fast as possible. I didn't have stirrups, so I wobbled a bit until I collected my balance. I then used my legs to steer the horse around.

I then ended up in another dream. I don't even remember what I saw, but I know that Mrs. G. was there with FR. Mrs. G. started pissing on the ground, and I felt some of it hit my leg (what a wonderful thing to dream about -.-). FR said something, that's all I remember.

Then I was at school, in my old classroom. I was having some sort of race with another person, I think KA. We had to get somewhere downstairs as fast as possible. We ran down the hallway, and she parted at a stairwell to the left. I laughed to myself as I ditched her and just kept running down the hall.

I ended up running to Mrs. F's class. I started helping her with some of the chores. She complimented me, and we talked about stuff that I can't remember.

Then I was on a bus, sitting beside KA. We were talking about how we missed being at TR. Then we ended up going to what was apparently Wonderland. The place was more like a playground. It was winter for some reason. I started playing around on the monkey bars.

Then I was at home, or at KA's house, I can't remember exactly. There was something about calling her. Then it ended.

11.07.2010

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

In Grandmother's old house I lay on the living room floor watching the giant old television. I put a DVD on of some old show where a large cast sat around an oval table and acted poorly. There was also a segment of some talk show on medieval topics. The hosts tried to be funny but no one in the audience laughs. It seems I have six whole seasons of this show on DvD and watch it for hours. Eventually I look into the display of my phone and discover I can touch the screen and take out huge chunks of geography across the Earth. Later, out for a bit with the family we seem to be walking about a series of buildings next to an ocean. The others want to go to a restaurant so I point out a boat by the white support beam of a bridge above us. The vessel would take us to a restaurant floating on the water.

Back in Granny's house Kyle and I were in the spare room off the entrance playing a card game that involved a fish tank and submerging the cards strategically. After this game I left for the kitchen area where, instead of the stairwell to the right, there was a queen size mattress. My friend JAH was sleeping on it. My mom was near and told me that there were mushrooms growing in the toilet from someone's poop. I went to see the offending toilet and found four thin and yellow shrooms and a short plump green one. I got the idea that pouring hand-washing soup into the toilet would detach the mushroom's roots and we could flush them. I returned to where JAH was and got distracted trying to wake him up so we could do something fun. He didn't seem interested.

A majority of this dream consisted of being a part of a sports team and the night before a big game the next day. I could not find the place to get my room key for a long time so I traveled all over to find it with no luck. I run into a family friend who is talking about me and embarrassing me while making a toast extremely intoxicated in the lobby. I am late getting into my room and look around it for a while.

_______

I am outside and it has been snowing. There are thousands of people playing in it, and I spot some of my friends who have laid down a tarp so that we could slide down a hill on it. I try it but I get stuck. I look around, the snow is gone, and everyone else who was playing in the snow is gone. I was by myself on the tarp.

_______

We are on a boat somewhere in a jungle and in the woods. A man spots a coyote out to me and a person sitting next to me in the boat.

"You know, coyotes get eaten by wolves all the time" The man sitting next to me says.

________

I am in a van, all of a sudden the van stops, and the sliding door opens up. I get up off my seat and am about to step on the ground, until I look closer at the asphalt and notice it is moving like a liquid would. All of a sudden something clicks and I realize I am dreaming.

After I become lucid, I hop down and get on all fours to kickstart a full transformation into a timber wolf so I can accomplish one of my lucid goals. The transformation, however, brought incredible pain to my face where the wolf snout was being contorted and broken outwards from my face. The pain was so unbearable that I thought I may have been feeling the pain in my real life body in bed while I was LDing, so I got spooked and forced myself to wake up before the transformation was even finished.

Notes: Pain has been occurring randomly with my transformations now. Going to have to find a way to either not get spooked and deal with the pain, or take a "pain killer" before I begin a transformation from now on.

Starts out with bringing an extremely attractive gothic girl into my bedroom to watch TV. We are laying in bed when suddenly her clothes come off and she is lying naked beside me. I begin kissing her chest, and neck, and things start to get intimate. All of a sudden she starts crying, however, her tears are jet black (looked like pen ink). The black tears are smeared all over her naked body and the bed in which we were laying in. I try to console her the best I can, however, nothing seems to be working.

Fast-forwards to an airport (dream sign!?). The very attractive gothic girl is by my side, and she begins running through the terminal as fast as she could while clutching onto my hand.

"Why are we running?" I ask.

"That guy!" She said as she screams and pointed towards a blonde haired guy in a red shirt and jeans with a dozen or so knives in his hand chasing us at full speed. Next thing I know, the man who is now chasing us is hurling his knives. I hear one or two wizz by head. Thats when something clicked in my head.

"I am dreaming!"

I decide to take the frightening situation into my own hands. I stop running, and do an RC with a DC that was wearing a green shirt with words on it, just to make sure of it. The DC whom I was staring at gave me an evil eye as I did an RC by looking at the words on his shirt and looking back at them. Yep, I was definitely dreaming.

I turn around and stare at the man who was chasing me with throwing knives, and hold my ground. The man stopped running at a distance, and stared for a second before he hurled a knife at my stomach. While surprising myself at the same time, I quickly snag the knife out of the air before it was even close to touching me. I then break it in half in attempt to further scare the DC who was hurling knives. Now that I knew I was in complete control of my dream I was furious with this DC and could not wait to punish him for scaring the shit out of me.

I sprinted full speed at the blonde haired DC and grabbed his throat with my hand and lifted him as high as I could off the ground. The DC who was now showing signs of choking and helplessness was flailing in the air as he dangled at the mercy of my raised arm. I forced the transformation of only my head this time to become a wolf, so I could continue to hold him in the air as I revealed my weapons to kill the DC. After my head had completely undergone the transformation, I put my muzzle up to his now helpless face as close as I could without touching him, and bared my wolf teeth and growled as loud as I could. Then, all of a sudden the dream world began getting hazy and fuzzy, and felt my real self in bed as I awoke.

Notes: Another dream sign that could help me attain lucidity is airports, have seen them a lot in my DJs. I also need to continue to work on immediately attempting to spin or rub my hands to remain lucid and not wake up. LDs have not been lasting too long lately...

07/11/10

I go to Halifax. Nothing happens.

I'm downtown, trying to sell a lamp from my old apartment to a thrift shop. It's not worth ten bucks, but they give me about a hundred and fifty for it. I'm staring at it, wondering if I should buy it back, when an old woman swoops in and grabs it off the shelf.

I wander downtown, looking at other thrift stores for something in particular. I enter one store, and apparently it's a high school reunion (for my graduating class).

I hear that a bunch of illustrators just retired from their company. I see a flash of a marina. Light bounces off the farthest point, where a woman who used to be an illustrator lives. I decide I want her old job.

I talk to River, from Firefly. She tells me she was married at one point.

I'm back in the prairies. The ground is soaked, and some of the fields are flooded. I'm standing on dry ground, behind a dike that's keeping the flood waters out.

Back in Halifax. I'm part of a group that recreates classic photos and paintings in a modern setting. There are five of us arranged in a hallway; all of us are guys. At one point, we have to say our names for the video that's rolling.

"Okay, Anton!"

I take that as my cue, and repeat, "Anton" for the camera.

"Cut!" says our director.

"Anton, Anjon, John..." I mutter to myself, frowning. Odd. I can't remember my name.

Lamps. Scare Factor: 1.

I had 7 dreams last night! SEVEN!!! I remembered them all, too! I'm pleased. This is not my first DJ entry ever; I have about 35 on my phone and 15 on my real DJ. I'll put these in chronological order. (all were non-Lucid)

LOST: the experience! (dream 1)
This was the first dream of the night; but not the haziest. I was on this camp where some people were reenacting the TV show LOST. I saw mock-Kate, mock-Sayid, mock-Jin (who was in a lot of "pain"), and mock-Sun there. I ambled through and found this treehouse. I went inside and helped people work on it. There were annoying nails that I had to work on, and I kept complaining to no avail.

Then I went to the front of the camp and met a new boy. I forget what he looked like at all. My mom started making fun of him:
"Oh he's so cute! He's totally gonna fall in love with you, and by the end of the first day he's gonna be following you around and stumbling over everything!"

To test to see if she was right, We had to choose stalls. Much like the ones in golf. I took a spot diagonally from him, so he moved up to be with me. I smirk at this. and dream ends.

Dylan is Gay?!?! (dream 2)
My friend Dylan is a short guy. He's my best guyfriend. He makes an appearance in this dream (as you can see), which was the longest. This was my favourite dream of them all.

I was at a party in a very big house. Dylan came and met me there. He randomly said out of the blue (but not so loud) "Shawn. I think I'm gay."

"WHAT?!?!?!" I interjected, knowing quite well that he WASNT gay. He's liked three girls before. one of which was me. He replied with a long story of how he thought he was attracted to himself or something, and how he couldn't tell, but if he was gay that he'd completely accept it as it is and with dignity...

I blew up in his face. He WASn't and ISn't gay. I brought him to the basement, and told him how kids our age can get confused about our sexuality, and that it's totally normal to not be completely attracted to girls until a few years from now. I left him to figure out his sexuality in the basement.

Upstairs, I found my good friend Zac. He decided to show a movie he made. We all sat in front of the TV in a circle. I sat next to him, and then someone made me scootch away from him. But I had no idea what for, so I scootched back. Zac kicked me playfully, and I gave him a narrow-eyed "what?" look.

The movie started, on a TV that was actually not the one right in front of me. I didn't watch the movie, I just looked into the reflection of the TV at Zac. I then had an epiphany. I thought, or maybe I whispered, "Zac looks just like David only taller!" (this is not true. They look similar, but not that similar in real life.) The reflection of Zac turned into the reflection of David. He winked at me! And I couldn't stop myself from giggling. Zac, or David, laughed back at me. After the credits of the movie, me and Zac and some random DC's went out with us to a candy store.

He went in, saying "I want to use the scale!" for some reason. I walked in after him and when I did he turned and said "a foot!" and held up his hand in an L shape. This makes no sense.

I was going to leave with him, but I saw a candy that caught my eye. There was a selection called "Malfoy candy"! I wanted to buy some but didn't have money. I told my dad, who was buying stuff, "Look! Malfoy Chocolate!" The dream ended there. I woke at 5:00 and failed at WILDing. Next.

David Skipping (dream 3)
This dream started with me and my old friend Kate. She had transferred from my school (in real) to a new one because she didn't like our cafeteria. (true story) In this dream, she was back. and complaining about the Lunchroom. We were walking to lunch.

"I hate how theres so many flourescent squares everywhere and it's loud and smelly and... PUBLIC!"
"So? Aren't all cafeterias like that?"
"Not My school's!"
I rolled my eyes and sat at a lone table with her. Id sit with my friends but the table was full.

After lunch, I left Katie and ran out of the Lunchroom quickly, as to beat the crowd. David had the same idea. He was just in front of me and we walked. He didn't think anyone was around to see him, so he started skipping- no- FROLICKING down the hall. I skipped behind him and he turned around and stopped dead in his tracks like (oh crap! she saw that?!)

He narrowed his eyes at me and smirked, and I smirked right back at him. Just then, Victoria came running past. I yelled for her, but she didn't stop. David and I exchanged a glance, and I ran after her.
"VICTORIA!!" I screamed, a second and third time.

"Bwahahaha!" She looked back and kept running with her long legs. I was going to turn back to David and get to whatever class, but that dream ended.

Dogtower (dream 4)
This dream wasn't the shortest, but is SO hard to explain in words. I'll just leave it at that.

Amusement (dream 5)
In this, I was at an amusement park with my family. It was indoor and outdoor and had a big enclosure for things like go-karts. My dad bought an Icee that was 3/4 rootbeer, and 1/4 mountain dew. I tasted it. It was queer. and cold. This dream sort of fused with the next, but instead, the next was a waterpark.

Water (dream 6)
This was on the edge of a water park. Me and some guy, who looked sortof like daniel radcliffe but who sounded like David, were looking through a yearbook that had magical moving pictures. I was smart enough to ask this:
"Why are they moving?"
You'd think this would get me lucid, but it didn't. Instead, some lady said, "They have water in them" which was apparently good enough for me. The David-voice pointed out my friend Justine in the picture. She was sitting in a folding chair. Blinking. I ended the dream.

Train (dream 7)
This dream had me and another "some guy" at a train. We were about to board, when he handed me a sweet-tart heart. It was orange (my favourite) and said "kiss me" on it. He said "This one must be yours." I didn't know if he was being caring, knowing that I liked orange, or if he was being romantic and wanted me to kiss him. I looked at him puzzledly, and asked:

"Do you want me to?" He blushed.
I put my arms around his neck (he was taller than me) and went on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek. **GOAL in my sig!** His cheek felt stubbley. He was obviously too old for me. I think it might've been my dad, actually. XD END OF THE LAST DREAM! PHEW!

Key: Non-Lucid, Lucid, Commentary/Notes, Hypnagogic Hallucinations

I was a hero, or soon would be. Tasked with defeating the almighty Diablo atop his tower, I prepared for my quest. A magical bird warrior, Phoenix, had been sent to accompany me; offering both his companionship and some much needed combat experience.

Phoenix was a bright orange bird. His back and the rear of his wings were covered in a blue armour plating -- it appeared to be natural. I got the sense he was young for his species, but somehow very wise by comparison to myself. The journey ahead would be treacherous and I was glad that I didn't have to travel entirely alone.

We set off on our quest, and before we knew it we neared the top of Diablo's tower. Victory was within our grasp; all that was needed was to fell the demon.

I could see the sky as I walked along an exterior stairway leading to the flat circular roof above. It was dark and purple clouds swirled around menacingly. Occasionally there was a flash of what seemed like lightning, but there was no accompanying roar of thunder. Silence is all I heard. I grew anxious as I climbed the stair, but it was not warranted.

A man greeted me and was very quick to inform me that I needed to gain another 6,000,000 levels in order to defeat Diablo. In the distance, across the other side of the roof I could say the demon lying in wait. He was a fierce looking beast, not dissimilar in shape to a dragon with no wings, perhaps 60 or so feet in height as he stood on all fours. His skin was scaled and purple, and his head was horned and protected by a frontal dark grey layer of natural armour. I knew at that moment that despite the terrifying spectacle of the beast that lay in wait, I would train longer and harder than ever before and return to slay the beast after gaining another 6,000,000 levels...

Phoenix and I returned to the world below. We had not completed our goal, but we knew exactly what we had to do. Waiting for us was another bird-like creature. His name was Garr and he bore a striking resemblance to my companion, Phoenix. Unlike Phoenix however, his armour plating was much thicker and covered a greater amounts of his body, including parts of his face. He looked strong and stood proudly on his legs, which were unusually muscular. Phoenix on the other hand flew everywhere and rarely stood up right like this other bird creature.

The two birds spoke for a while. I gathered that Garr was Phoenix' father. Somehow I sensed that Garr was a great warrior, and was disappointed with his sons failure. I requested that Garr join with us on our next trip up through Diablo's tower.

We left for the tower again and again it seemed like we were immediately climbing up the stairs to the final confrontation. I felt stronger now. I had surely gained more than 6,000,000 levels in the time since I was last hear -- I could feel it.

The same man was there and he told me that I was still a few levels short. I was having none of it though and decided to take on Diablo now. I knew I was ready...

And then, as with all my favourite dreams, it ended prematurely. I wish my dreams had proper resolutions, especially when they follow a narrative that is stricter than usual.

11/07/10 - I normally only record dreams that I can remember in full detail, but this one was so weird, I thought I'd write it down even though there are blanks. So the first thing I remember is being at my boyfriends house in his room. His dad walks in and tells us the cat just had kittens (in reality they don't even have a cat!) and he brought them in to show us. Michael asked if I'd like to hold one of them. Of course I did, they were ever so tiny and extremely cute! They didn't look newborn, I'd say they looked about 2 or 3 weeks old. My boyfriend picked up the light gray and black tabby and placed it in my hand. As he did, the cat started to poo all over me! I was freaking out, but not in an over reacting way. My boyfriend and his dad were laughing at me because I'd closed my eyes and was saying 'I don't wona look, its gone everywhere!' Eventually My boyfriend took the kitten off me so I could get cleaned up.

The next thing I remember, I was at work, but it wasn't my normal place of work (the cinema) I was at a theme park and my job was to clean / keep the track of a roller coaster clear every time it had gone past. The part I had to clean was under a tunnel, which would shake every time the roller coaster went past. It was really loud. The area manager from the cinema turned up at one point. He came over to talk to me and I thought he was going to have a go at me for something, as he normally does, but he was laughing and joking with me. I could hardly believe it! He was saying how he got pooed on by a bird earlier in the day, so I was telling him about the kitten.

After that, I'm at home, with my boyfriend. (We don't live together yet, we were both just at my house.) I was pregnant! But I didn't look it. My tummy wasn't big, and I didn't feel anything either. I walk into the kitchen and I have the baby. But I don't give birth to it or anything, I just.. have it. It was a boy, and it was tiny! Length wise, it was about the size of a jumbo sausage roll. It took a few seconds for it to start breathing. It didn't cry at all. Its eyes were so big and blue and he just kept looking at me, I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I took it into the living room to show to my boyfriend and remember saying 'That wasnt bad at all.' It was as if I'd given birth to it without being in labor. I felt no different at all. I also remember asking my boyfriend 'Do you think I'll still get labor pains later on?' He replied 'Yeah probably.' So I felt kinda worried about that. I noticed that the umbilical cord was still attached to me and the baby. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to cut it, but he was worried because he didn't know how. He said 'Just try pulling it at the ends.' I tried it and it just detached from us both, a bit like taking a hose pipe off a tap. I was then panicing because I imagined the baby would be hungry and I didn't have a clue how to make a bottle of milk. There was powdered baby milk in the kitchen, but it didn't indicate on the tin how much to mix with water or how warm to make it or anything like that. And the baby bottle was in about 6 different pieces and I didn't have a clue how to put it together. I didn't know where my mum was to ask her, we were the only two in the house, well three if you include the baby. Any other dream I've ever had where I was pregnant or I had kids has always freaked me out. In the dream I always felt like I didn't want to be pregnant, I didn't want to have kids, I wasn't ready. But this one didn't seem that bad for some reason. Strange, as I'm not big on the idea of having kids at all.

I just remembered this as I was walking home.

07/10/10

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

The first time I woke up last night, I had such a feeling of contentment and happiness that it was unreal. I couldn't remember the dream that I had, but the feeling followed me throughout the day.

In another dream, I was cradling a piece of wood in my hands. A little piece of the wood was on fire, but the rest wasn't catching. I had to keep the flame going.

I order a DC to find me some kindling, so we can get the fire going properly. I maintain my focus on the spark, keeping the flame alive. The DC comes back with some bark and twigs, and I carefully set down my prize, and feed fuel into the fire.

At one point, the spark goes out, but I will it back into existence.

A Spark. Scare Factor: 1.

I had such a great night, guys. Still, this only slightly counts as a drunk post.

Happy feels like warm red dancing through the darkness.

10.07.2010

Going out with three ladies. (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Well... one of my low nights, but still good with some decent recall. Two dreams, one of them is a short fragment.
Second one:

My wife was in the dream.
I met three ladies and all three fell in love with me. One was White, other one was African American and the third one I think it was asian.
They wanted me to go for the night with them and sleep with all three. My wife did not knew the entire plot, but she was not very convinced about this.

I was in downtown and it was night. I went to a restaurant that was similar to a TGI Fridays, but the logo was black and read instead of regular.







They had a dragon inside sleeping. It was more like a giant boa rather than a dragon. I went back to met this ladies. The African American one was nude and tried to have sex with me.
I was in a hotel picking some stuff from my room to bring to these ladies. I exited the hotel and I was like in a mall. It was a huge three floor mall. It was morning now and I had to meet these ladies for breakfast. Before heading for breakfast, I met with a guy in his room. I told him about the odd Friday's banner I saw and purchased. These guy told me that it was other restaurant. He told me he had several branded shirts. He opened his closet and indeed he had. I recall he had several Pumas Soccer Team shirt.

I left and stepped to the third floor. The ladies were having a conversation about something. I joined and I had a plate with several pancakes. I was not hungry but I started to eat. After we finished, one of the ladies pulled a device that rated out breakfast. I was the lowest rated because I did not eat as much.
We were planning going to Canada to live and start a live all four together.

The scenery changed and I was playing cards with my regular friends, plus made up friends plus this ladies. We were rolling the dice for the teams.

I do not know if the following is from the same dream, I think so:

- Three pigs.
- I was throwing fireworks.
- Olive Oil Store.

I'm at a giant fourth of july festival/parade. I'm walking through this large aisle of people, around me are overweight american families in red white and blue. I'm looking for Donald. I have my dog with me and I let her off the leash and tell her to go find him. She can't find him.

I'm at a house, I go outside. There's this small punk girl with a mohawk I've met a few times. She's angry with me and I ask her why she doesn't like me. She says that it's because I didn't feed some starving people she saw a few days ago, and how can I be a real human worth knowing when I don't do my absolute best to take care of people better.

All I remember is something to do with pigs.

Actually, I remembered more but have forgotten now because I had to do some stuff as soon as I woke up so I didn't have time to write everything down straightaway :/

07/10/10

I'm an employee at a convenience store or pharmacy. I have to restock the book section; there are fewer books on the shelves every time I look back at them.

I grab a box from the back and open it up in the comics aisle. It occurs to me that I have no idea what went where, or even which books were out here to begin with. Rather than call my boss over such a trivial matter, I happily start arranging my own favorites on the shelf.

Oddly, the comic books seem to be about 15x15 inches across, and the shelves are sized to fit them. Even in the dream, I think this seems a little off.

Later, I find out that Quickton has enacted a new law: hair colour has been declared illegal. I immediately dye my hair blue.

---

I'm at a lake. A girl dares me to swim under the dock and pick up a pebble she just dropped in. I jump into the water. Beneath the surface, it's perfectly clear, and I look around, exploring the caves and crevices that make up this underwater world. Finally, I grab the odd-coloured stone - it's pink or purple - and head back to the surface.

Standing with a group of people in the woods, I watch Dumbledore give a speech about a competition that's going to happen. It's similar to the Triwizard Tournament from the fourth book, but more people are involved. Each of the houses gets representation, and there are a whole bunch of different areas - including chess tournaments - that not everyone will be competing in. Furthermore, you can be selected to represent a house that you're not a part of.

I'm Harry Potter, and obviously, I'm in Gryffindor. I already know how the rest of the dream is going to turn out, though; I'm going to be chosen for Slytherin. There's no other possible outcome.

I observe Hermione freaking out over something, but I'm feeling very calm and cold, and so I leave her be. I'm much more interested in the competition.

Later, as myself, I talk to a family friend at the campground I spent most of my summers in. It's windy, and she's worried about their tents flying away. I tell her that the storm is about to get a lot worse. I know this because I'm from the future.

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"As long as I don't step on any butterflies."

Butterflies. Scare Factor: 1.

ETA: I took this as a sign that I should die my hair blue today. So I did.

Slept between 10:00am-2:30pm

Brief fragment involving theatre. I was watching a rehearsal of a musical and they were choreographing the dance moves to the songs.

False awakening, in which I thought to myself, "Better pinch my nose and see if I'm still asleep... *nose pinch* Huh, I can breathe. Means I'm not awake yet... *forced myself awake, nose pinch* That's better... Wait - fucking hell!"