• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Non-lucid dream of extream emotions. need help understanding why.

      by , 10-14-2016 at 05:10 PM
      I can usually lucid dream with abilities to wake myself up from a nightmare, control my actions, or even control whole aspects of my dreams.

      but last night I had a dream that I could not do anything about. I was along for the ride.

      ill cut out unimportant details.

      in my dream I was my current age (27) and I was with 3 friends. we were heading to our old high school hang out spot. a small multi-level abandoned factory of some sort. we get there and I'm immediately overran with emotions of sadness, GREATLY missing her, love, and loss. I go to a spot where she and I used to sit on a ledge high on this building, and watch the sun set. when I get there I just stood there staring, missing her, and feeling so sad that she was not here. in my dreams I have flashbacks of our first kiss, me confessing my love to her, us sitting there I out cap and gowns from graduation holding hands, her crying because I had told her that I had enlisted with the army and was shipping out in a month. then one of my friends approached me and said that I didn't miss her as much as she did, and it was my fault that she is gone because I enlisted and left her. we both started to cry. so I sad down at the ledge and stared into the sunset as I cried.

      then all of a sudden it was like my dream changed gears completely. the ledge changed to a back porch of a house. I was sitting there smoking a cigarette instead of crying. I hear the doorbell ring so I get up to go answer the door. as im walking towards the door 2 other friends of mine are walking the same direction. one of them yells "alright lets get this party started" I open the door and there is about 20 people all holding party supplies. they start flooding into this house like a stampede.

      At the moment I hear my 3 week old son start crying and I wake up.

      I'm here because the emotions from the dream have followed me into reality and I keep thinking back to the dream and I feel the emotions to the point of my eyes welling up on me.

      I don't know what to make of it. if any wants to talk with me about it. or has some questions please ask away.

      nothing is too personal to me as I am an open book. I will answer just about any question.

      Updated 10-14-2016 at 05:15 PM by 91911

      non-lucid , memorable
    2. Plagues and Emotional Ties

      by , 09-20-2016 at 04:36 AM (Exploring My Mind)
      Oi, oi, I'm back from the shadows of a five day slump of upset emotions and sadness. Things have cooled down now though, and I've brought two dreams with me for this entry!
      This first one was from the morning before this morning.
      I was in a school (who would've thunk it), or more specifically, a choir class. We were all singing some song, and for some reason, all the kids around me were 5th graders, while I was the only young adult in the room, aside from the teachers standing around watching our performance. Suddenly, alarms blared! Doctors came in from every which way! What was going on?
      The answer to that question appeared in the form of the head of the doctors, a nurse with a demanding presence but kind demeanor. She strolled her way in, feet clacking on the floor as we all stared in a mixture of confusion and horror. She stopped walking, waited a moment, and explained to us that a virus was going through the school. Not just any virus though; it was a lethal, fast-spreading virus, and all of the kids had to be quarantined immediately. With a snap of her fingers, the doctors began rounding up the kids and escorting them out of the choir room. For some reason, nobody came up to me, making me the last one in the room, along with the teachers and the head nurse.
      There was some more to this dream involving me questioning the nurse about the outbreak, but I don't remember it.
      Next is my fragment from this morning. And it's real sparse one at that; only specific scenes and characters remembered.
      A school was involved. (this may as well be a dream sign at this point along with K and my ex). My ex was there. For some reason I was viewing the dream as an observer, but another me was in the dream, or rather, my middle-school-aged self, as one of the participating DCs. My dad was in the dream too, and he was running for president, campaigning through the school.
      Lately I've noticed a trend that whenever my emotions get upset or sad, it tends to dip my recall the following mornings, whereas if I'm feeling happier and more clear-headed, I tend to have more consistent recall. Don't really know if there's anything to that, but it's been an observable enough pattern that there may be something to it, at least for me.
    3. A futuristic boar hunt

      by , 11-21-2014 at 09:02 PM
      Previous scene had been on the subject of breaking through layers - in a futuristic setting, there'd previously been a big struggle to break through (something, either the earth or a ship - either way, the important part is that it's the ground we stand on), and we'd thought that was the end of it; now we're discovering there's another layer to break through.

      In that same setting, I'm part of a team of people in uniforms, rounding up some wild animals. But most of the scene is spent in disembodied 3rd person, following one of my partners. She's watching a boar - huge thing, at least twice my height - and a voice is saying to her through some communications device, "If (something), think how much could be got from a boar of that size under good conditions."

      She asks, "Are these good conditions?" She's referring to the boar's behavior.

      "Best I've ever seen," is the answer.

      She's nervous, but she activates this sort of mechanical set of wings she's wearing; they glow green as they lift her into the air, and she starts rounding up the boar - chasing it down, frightening it, until finally a great green light bursts from inside the boar, creating this swirling transparent sphere around it, fragments rising and dispersing in the air. The light's invisible to the animal itself. She lands on it, clings to its side and uses a vial to collect that light. It's a kind of energy we use, given off by these creatures' heightened emotions - it's the same thing that's powering the weapons we're using to hunt them.
    4. Dystopia

      , 09-16-2014 at 12:28 AM (Hyu's Adventures)
      A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
      I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
      I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
      The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
      which slightly reflects what is above it.

      Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
      Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
      No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
      There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
      Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

      Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
      This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
      I enter the office.

      "There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
      "You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."


      During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
      I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
      As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
      to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
      As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

      And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
      It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
      You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
      It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

      I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
      There is only one such office for the entire facility.
      Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
      I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
      I enter the office. It is very small.
      It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)

      The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
      But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
      In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
      Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
      Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

      But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
      I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
      And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
      I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

      "Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."

      I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
      No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
      This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
      I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
      Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
      A woman stops me.

      "Excuse me?"
      "Why are you here?"

      I got lost in thoughts...
      Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
      I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
      This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
      And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

      "What is this?"

      She points to a device attached to my belt...
      It is an old MD player attached to it.

      Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
      I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
      The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

      What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
      No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
      If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

      But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
      This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
      If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
      But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
      take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
      I don't even know what the situation outside is.

      But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
      Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
      Why else would I have a red music player with me?
      Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?


      You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
      I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
      The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
      But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
      They just resume their work.
      I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.


      Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
      About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
      Aren't they overreacting a little here?


      I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
      They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
      But I don't think I could make it.
      My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
      I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

      Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
      I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
      I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
      I hit play.

      Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
      I pick up one of the syringes.
      Nope? Still nothing?
      I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
      They keep yelling at me to stop.
      I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
      I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

      Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
      I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
      I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
      I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
      This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

      Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
      The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
      If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
      I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
      On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
      My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
      I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

      After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
      I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
      I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
      There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

      Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
      The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

      I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
      Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

      I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

      A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
      I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
      But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.


      They could just drag me back inside now.
      There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
      But I know how to deal with this.
      All I have to do is to point up.
      I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
      That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

      There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
      No sign of anybody else.
      I just pick a direction at random and walk.
      Nobody is going to come after me now.
      I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
      I don't really have any survival skills.
      But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.
    5. stolen money, sweet specs, and condom checks

      by , 03-17-2014 at 06:41 PM
      I was counting money and it was taking me some time to do it, like I couldn't quite figure out how to count it correctly, but I kept trying, assuming I'd get it. Then this girls comes up to me and gets a funny voice and says she took $100+ dollars from me. I remember having been it her shoes, and so I grab a 20 from the mix and give it to her. She's so happy about that, and surprised she's not being punished. I think to myself, she just turned herself in, that should be rewarded. Now (IRL) the whole punishment/reward spectrum just bugs. Anyway, then she grabs all the people/family together and says "we're gonna have a free party!", meaning she's treating. I do my best to be encouraging and facilitating at keeping the idea alive.

      At one point this person mentions that I was crying a lot, and I was like, yeah duh and stuff right? There's always something to cry about I'm used to it. They sympathized over my hardships, and kinda hugged me close.

      We walking as a group down this corridor, the setting seems to be school. The are two sets of kids, black kids and white kids. We all have these sunglasses, some kinda yearly school thing. The black kids' glasses have a lot more personally, and the white kids' glasses are kinda generic and non-descript, bare even. Someone mentions the look of the white kids' glasses (which includes me and mine), and I say we didn't get a choice in the design style, and I bet you guys, the black kids, didn't either. In other words, I'm saying your glasses may be funked out, but that's likely just the effect of other people's views too (even if it was just the legacy of some long ago black student).

      So there's this scene of slightly uncomfortable ideas. Nothing horrific, but it's a just useless noise I don't really want to entertain. People fitting into tight spaces, people getting stuck. For the most part it came across as someone else in those situations, and that was preferable to me. Then I was walking out along this snow over water, not sure if/when I'd fall through into freezing water, and given the inevitableness of ending up in these type of situations, I couldn't be bothered to emotionally respond to the situation, and just accepted the water will do it's thing despite any emotional design I put on it, so why bother.

      I'm walking by and I join in on the sexual scene. I seem to recall having this feeling like finally I was able to join in, not because of my proximity or their acceptance of as much, but like because some obligation (to self protection?) or external restraint was no longer in place. As I join the scene, the centrally hot non incidental person comments about how nice it suddenly feels, and he suspects the effect isn't from his previous partner alone. He tries to get that person to show them whether it was them alone or not that made him feel good. He sees it wasn't really him. Then I do the same thing to him we'd just been doing, and my it did feel good. It was like a form of indirect stimulation, like rubbing the soft spot of my neck up and down in dick, like you know sometimes you just hit this sweet spot. By now it's just him and me, and we continue being sexual. He starts to give me anal, but I'm like, are you wearing a condom? He says not yet, but he won't ride me long enough to cause issues before he puts one on. The idea tempts me and is somewhat logical, but I don't fully trust his ability to not pre-cum in me. We end up stopping and having a sit down moment where we discuss safety and the choice we make. He's always been more sexual. I was just waxing on about the dangers we invite in, and he seemed to kinda have a new appreciation of what I meant. The whole scene went on to be about how he and I began having sexual interactions that were outside of the smooth/uncomplicated/ and hardcore moments he was used to. Instead they were more awkward, like even logistically, harder to get oriented, less immediately satisfying, but which ultimately were growing to something very rewarding. We achieve this interested orgasmic state which was nice, but not uncontroversial, in that for a while the orgasm state seemed to say it's not that you feel necessarily good here, it's that you feel strongly here, and some of the sensations while not adverse enough to be a deterrent, we not the type of thing you'd shoot for. It comes up that in that state and he's keeping it alive, he could get slapped by me, and he has a dejected response saying oh yes, thanks for letting me know that's a possibility, and I'm like, yeah well, it's not as likely to happen with me involved, but what do you expect when it's not all a good feeling.
    6. Trials

      by , 03-11-2014 at 03:59 AM (Keitorin's Dream Log)
      2. I’m watching a video in a room, there’s a man watching over me all stony-faced. I’ve already seen it so I’m impatient for it to be over. The video showed a pretty woman. I said something like ‘wow, she is hot’. Later, it showed some of her body beneath the clothes, and she was anorexic. I realize it was a trick to get us to see that you can’t judge by appearances.

      I asked the ‘guard’ if he never got tired of doing this, because he’d surely seen the video several times now. He didn’t answer. I said ‘you’re just like Jim Kirk’. I meant that he was stubborn.

      Next, I’m taken to an area in the mall-type store. At first I can’t tell what I’m standing in front of, I just see one panel. Then I realize it’s a game machine.

      The first part felt like a trial, but this part feels like a competition.

      I try to figure out how to work it, and press a black button up top. “Yes, this is administration.” A voice says, and I am super embarrassed as I realize I pressed the wrong button. The guy has to come fix it.

      I’m playing the game, and it has Yoshi from Mario in it.

      Inspiration: I was looking at some sprites and one of them was Yoshi. Only about forty-five moments passed between the last one and this one!
    7. Everything fades

      by , 03-11-2014 at 03:54 AM (Keitorin's Dream Log)
      Fragment: Something about Maggie from The Walking Dead and food. Inspiration: Watched the new episode yesterday.

      1. I go out onto the porch to talk to the waiting little old man (reminds me of an anime-style elder). The porch reminds me of my grandma’s balcony. We’re sitting on a swing as he tells me how everything fades in time and so on. Just then, a chain on the swing breaks and he sees “see?” and shows the rusted chain pieces to me.


      Someone’s walking on grass. They pass a house where a boy is looking out, and get the feeling he knows something. They walk by four people swinging on a swingset. Almost like in a character selection screen, two of them stand out, and they might have been animanga characters. It still feels like grandma’s house, out back.

      They crouch down on a plot of grass and dig out a hole, crying deeply as they lower cupped hands down. They’re holding a big seed with sprouts. The arm is like one from a teddy bear.

      The old man had died and somehow the plant came from him.

      Inspiration: After seeing the bear arm, it really reminded me of Teddie/Kuma from Persona 4, or Kumashii from the Thriller Bark arc, which I’m reading in One Piece. I’m really thinking the plant part comes from me finishing my Dragon Quartet series, where *spoiler* in the end they ‘reset’ the Earth to an earlier time, causing grass to start spreading back across the world as the survivors watch in awe. There’s an older man character there.

      Updated 03-11-2014 at 04:38 AM by 20026

      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
    8. Strange Bus Ride (21.10.13)

      by , 10-22-2013 at 09:42 AM (CHiLLEN's Dream Journal)
      I'm on a bus with Daz and Josh D(D&J). We get dropped off near Blitz. Josh grabs a hose and places it on the side of the road. He turns on the hose so it's shooting over the top of the road. I run across the road with them and I get wet from the hose. I'm walking up hill, heading towards Josh's work friends house. I suddenly realize I have have not bought my going-out clothes, and I'm furious.

      I'm now in a room with D&J and random people. Josh is having a dig at me for some reason and is making fun of me using face wash etc. Daryl takes notice of his rudeness and isn't too impressed with Josh. I don't bite back at all and just let Josh dig his own grave by allowing him to keep assaulting me for no reason.
      I see Josh on the ground, and he's tickling a child on the ground in a playful manner. The father picks up the child off of the ground and threatens the child and tells the driver about what had happened.

      I walk into a bedroom which is suppose to be a bus. Josh's goes over to the bed to claim it, while Daz and myself sit on the chairs. I ask Josh about what was being said earlier, so he could dig himself even more of a hole.
      I look through the window of the room and see a beautiful golden door that looked like a hand was coming out, like a 3D effect. It had pictures of people around the door and soon realized it was a Scientology building. I look to the side of the building to see how big the place is, and it's a decent sized building. I tell D&J, wouldn't it be interesting to see what is on the other side of that door. Daz says something that isn't in favor of the teaching of Scientology.

      We're on another bus, with a lot of other people. I see a little Asian child, and she is repeating something over and over. The bus goes quite, and I break the silence by saying what the child said earlier. Everyone starts laughing, but especially the lady in front of me. It was one of those delayed laughs that end up being very hilarious. 2 Asian ladies leave the bus and I assume that they're the mother of the child but they're not.
      I see a baby running up and down the bus pulling on her belly button, which extends 6-7 inches out of her stomach. She seems to be stroking it. I feel a little sickened and so does the guy across from him.
      I begin to wake up and try to DEILD, but I couldn't hold back my laughter, from thinking about what I just saw, and fail to DEILD.
    9. Picking Up My Dog

      by , 10-13-2013 at 05:12 AM (CHiLLEN's Dream Journal)
      I'm walking with Daryl, to Josh's mums house in Strafford to pick up my dog, that was getting looked after for the weekend.
      I walk into the backyard and see that a black male is working on Daryl's boat. The man walks over and greets us. He looks familiar, and has shoulder length hair. I see my dog Rex in the backyard with a boy and a few other dogs. Rex walks up to the kid for some attention and the kid begins to terra rise my dog by barking at it. Rex looks miserable and scared. One of the bigger dogs must sense weakness in Rex and they fight each other for a couple seconds. I walk over to greet Rex and he looks and feels different. He's hair is longer the usual and has lost a lot of weight. I'm furious and sad at this point and feel that he may have been abused or just overpowered by the other dogs when it came to feed time.

      I'm at my old house and I'm out in the backyard. I see my Father and I tell him about what I thought happened at Josh's mums house to Rex. I tell him that a young kid was intentionally trying to scare Rex. My Father shakes his head and is certain I'm just making it up. I get fired up, and can't believe that he thinks I would make such a thing up. I continue for some time arguing about what had happened. The dream ends.

      Dream Fragment:
      Myself and someone else is running away from a group of people. I see a replay of how I escaped a car park, in a car.
      I run towards a helicopter
      and as it hovers a few metres above ground, I struggle to climb up to get into the cabin. I'm hanging onto a chain that is connected to the helicopter and I find it hard to pull myself up. As I reach closer to the cabin, I try to enter the cabin as if I was in a video game, and would enter when I reach close enough by hitting a key binding.
    10. Spit and shampoo

      by , 03-24-2013 at 04:53 AM (Keitorin's Dream Log)
      I was in some house and had picked up a cute kitten, but it spit up all over me.


      I'm going into a bathroom to shower it off of me. It got all over my clothes. But mom wants to take a shower too.

      It's a big shower with brown tiles. But I'm alone then, and getting really frustrated as I look for the shampoo but can't find it. I get out of the shower (my hair is soaked) and start going through a bunch of stuff on the sink. I find two short, slim bottles of what is apparently shampoo and conditioner.

      Just as I find a bottle of Pert, though I'm unsure if it's the same kind I use, some people come in, completely ignoring me as one of them throws a couple of mattresses right in the space where the shower is.

      Note: I remember being half-awake and kicking my legs out in my frustration!
    11. DILD Angry Father

      by , 10-13-2012 at 03:23 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)

      Thoughts | Non-Lucid | Lucid | Techniques/Aids

      Alcohol before bed

      Bed time 12:30Am

      Angry Father DILD 8:00AM

      It's strange but I am at my ex-in-laws house. It's just me and my parents. I am playing with a new phone. It looks like a Note or galaxy SIII. My dad is ranting and raving about how something was evil and of the devil. I was getting really annoyed listening to him so I start to make fun of him. I tell him things like how I love mammon and I worship the devil. I show him little demon animations on my phone. It was straight sarcasm.

      Then for no real reason my emotions turn into near hatred. I look up from the phone and I see him walking into the living room. I say, "I am going to punch you in the face!" He passes the ceiling fan and I can see the light shine through his head.

      Then it dawns on me. The emotion and the light. All my anger fades instantly. I get overly excited and say, "WE ARE DREAMING!" He just looks at my funny. Then everything gets white washed with a bright light. I think I am waking up. I don't realize that fading to black is waking but the fading to white is something else. I sort of panic and think about the task I wanted to do. I try to visualize but I get nothing. I remember CanisLucidus and how he reentered by saying I am dreaming. It's all I can think of so I say, "I am dreaming." a several times. But then I give up way too easy.

      I should always always always remember DEILD especially when the LD is so short. I guess I was taken by surprise in this dream. I am usually so involved with the emotion that I don't become lucid. Thanks, CanisLucidus for pointing out that strong emotion is a dream sign!

      I didn't wake up after all. After the white goes away I find myself back in the dream non-lucid. I am sitting in the same living room playing with the phone again. I am scrolling though a bunch of text that I can't focus on. I click a link and see a picture of Howard Stern with puffed out lips hold a microphone. He is next to either some woman or it was Steven Tyler with puffed out lips holding a fake dick. I laugh at this and shake my head. All the time Spencer from work is talking to someone in the room. I never look up to see and I don't know what he is saying.

      "Punch you in the face" I think this is the 3rd or 4th time this month that has been said in a dream.

      I remember being at Wal-Mart. I lay down in shopping cart and try to sleep.

      New dream signs: Strong Emotion, Trying to sleep, "Punch you in the face".

      Updated 10-13-2012 at 03:25 PM by 5967

    12. Skipped Math Test Question, Weak Knee, and Extreme Irrational Anger

      by , 09-26-2012 at 04:25 PM (Krista's Dream Journal)
      Dream - Lucid

      I was inside somewhere, and I had taken a written math test. A girl I was friends with in high school, Sara, was there, and so was Jake. I had just gotten the test back, and was reviewing how I did. I did pretty well, seeing a few I missed here and there. I remember one of the questions on the first page being worth 5 points, and me getting 2 points partial credit for it.

      I then flipped the test paper over and saw where I had completely skipped a graph problem, one worth 9 points. I saw -9 written in red on the problem. Jake then said
      "Well yeah, don't expect a good grade if you're going to skip problems."
      I then said
      "I did ok, I mean, I got an 80, that's a low B."


      I was walking with some lady through the band hallway at my old high school. It was like she was giving me a tour although I've already graduated both high school and college. She was explaining to me how that hallway is where lots of people who were about to graduate went to talk about colleges and their "favorite sororities" and such. She was saying this just as we were passing the band room. I looked to my right at her. She was short, had brown hair, and a young-looking face, though I think she may have been older than me. She looked like a sorority girl herself.

      Then, my left knee felt extremely weak, and gave out. I crouched down and held the knee for a few seconds, as if I had injured it. It kept doing this over and over; I'd walk a few steps, and my left knee would give out. I tried to explain to the lady I was walking with, just telling her my knee kept giving out. As I was crouched down holding my knee the last time before I woke up, I thought to myself that maybe, because I've been less active lately, my knee muscles had atrophied.


      I was at my house with Jake. We were in the middle of cleaning something or moving some things, when we started talking about some girl he had been seeing. I asked Jake if they were going to get married, and he said yes. I then asked if he had proposed to her, and he said yes.


      I stood up and yelled at him. I was so angry, I couldn't contain it.
      I kept screaming those things over and over. He never got mad, not even once. It's like he didn't even care that I was angry at him. The girl was then, somehow, there as well. She was skinny, and looked mixed between black and white. Her hair was in a short ponytail. I think she was wearing black Ugg boots and a jacket. She looked kinda tom-boyish. I yelled at the both of them to "get out of my fucking house". Good God was I angry. The girl left without a fight or a word, but Jake stayed there.

      We were walking around and he was getting some things together to leave, and I just kept yelling at him. He was still not phased by my anger. Fuck, I couldn't even figure out why I was so angry. I then thought it was because he was just settling, just marrying this random chick that he didn't really care about. That made sense for me to be angry about that, but not this angry. I mean, we weren't even dating! I was just fucking pissed. I know, at some point, she texted him. He seemed so blah about it, so detached, so uncaring.

      We were then in the living room. I was sitting on the couch as he got some things together. I was fuming, and yelling, and all that good, angry stuff; one thing I said was
      "Leave. Leave, and don't you dare come back until you're single!"
      When I said this, I thought that I may never see him again. That made me sad, but my anger was stronger at this point.
      I then noticed there was a baggie of weed on the coffee table. At that moment, I noticed Jake started to sniff around like a dog. He said
      "I'm looking for the weed."
      He then saw it on the coffee table, and started to take it. I broke from my anger for a second and said, calmly,
      "Do you mind if I take a little?"
      He said
      "Sure. I'll give you some for the road."
      He pulled out a small piece and gave it to me. I was surprised; I thought he was going to outright deny me after my show of anger. Then again, he didn't seem to be phased by it at all.

      The girl then came back to pick Jake up. I think she called or texted him to tell him she was there. He left through the front door, but then, was back in the living room. He said
      "She was mad that you have a Wii and you didn't invite her to play."
      Wut. I mean, did she really expect me to? After how pissed I got, all she could say was she was mad because I didn't invite her to play the Wii? I know I said something to Jake about that, but I don't remember exactly what.

      Updated 09-26-2012 at 04:40 PM by 32059

      non-lucid , dream fragment
    13. Matthew

      by , 09-12-2012 at 04:21 PM
      Had a dream last night about coming home for a school break. I remember driving back from Washington with Morgan, and her friend was in the car with us. The next thing I remember is that I'm home, but I totally avoid seeing my parents like the plague. I get the feeling that something really bad is going to happen if I see them.
      I instantly go to find Matthew. When I find him, I run and jump into his arms and we passionately make out Feels really good, and I feel a wave of relief wash over me. We are hanging out with Morgan and Patrick and DJ again, and I'm really happy. He just holds my hand and lets me know he cares.
      I wake up two days later, and I had just been camping with Matthew. We walk into a supermarket, and he had just gotten out of track practice or something. He hugs me and tells me that he's so happy to spend time with me, but he knows that my energy isn't completely genuine and that he can tell I'm sad. He says that I can cry with him any time. All the sudden, I feel a ton of emotions all at once and just start crying with him holding me in the middle of the supermarket. But it doesn't necessarily feel sad, it just feels relieving to have someone hold me while I cry. It felt good.

      I think this totally relates to the fact that I've been missing Matt a lot and I want to be with him. Also, I am having a hard time relating to people at college because of the lack of sobriety, so my emotions have been pent up. I need to find an outlet in order to release my emotions.
    14. Stardust

      , 06-18-2012 at 08:01 PM (Hyu's Adventures)
      I haven't posted in a while.
      It's kinda difficult to find the time to do so with my current health issues. (It's nothing too serious I think, but it impedes me from doing activities that require a decent amount of brain power)
      The few moments where I feel alright and I'm motivated to write, I spend it trying to somehow finish my masters thesis in time.
      It's quite frustrating to know that it is going to take some more time until this will be resolved, because apparently it's perfectly normal to have to wait 10 weeks to get an mri done in this country. :/
      Then again, we got fantastic healthcare, so I shouldn't complain.

      Anyways, I don't really have the motivation to properly write down things that have happened in relation to the Templar story arc, but I figured I'd at least post something.
      Something that is much easier to write.
      So here's a random dream from last night which I thought was really cool, though I now realize that I'm going to have a hard time explaining why.
      It's weird how that works, sometimes a seemingly normal event can be very emotional in dreams.

      I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, when I notice that something is off with the lighting.
      Normally my room is really dark at night, there's a few very faint green and blue lights from a switch and a file server in the room, but that's about it.
      You really have to navigate the room by memories (if you don't turn the lights on), because it is too dark to make out anything.
      But for some reason I can distinguish everything clearly, even though it's all pitch black.
      What a contrast!

      Fortunately I know this look very well.
      Dark dreams! In my dreams darkness is usually compensated by a ludicrous amount of contrast, so I can see very clearly, even though it is really dark.
      It is rather astonishing how many shades of black there really are, and how easily they can be distinguished if you aren't limited by the human eye.

      I get out of bed and start exploring the house.
      I don't bother thinking about my current situation or dream stabilization because I'm under the impression that I'm fully lucid.
      This is however not the case.
      I'm not thinking clearly, as I would in a "fully" lucid dream.
      Yes, I'm aware that this is a dream, but I'm not thinking about doing cool stuff. No epiphanies or anything.
      Just a mindless zombie strolling through the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of something extraordinary.

      Once I am downstairs I notice that the scenery outside has changed rather dramatically.
      This is not where my house is in waking life at all!
      I go outside to explore more, and find that my house is now placed right next to a rather large lake.
      It is perfectly still and reflects the sky like a flawless mirror.

      I start walking over it, something I often do in dreams.
      Walking on water is really pleasant, if you do it barefoot that is.
      The water is really cold and I get chills up my spine during my first few steps.

      The sky is cloudless. It is perfect! There is no light pollution whatsoever. What a sight!
      But then I realize that I'm not really lucid.
      Or rather, I realize that I'm not thinking.
      Exploring your own thoughts is an amazing thing to do in dreams, and has become my favorite way of stabilization.
      If you're thinking clearly, dreams receive a huge boost in stability.
      It's also a good way to calm down if you are easily excited.

      Anyways, after some thinking I feel like I've gotten my brain to work adequately.
      But oddly enough I'm not in the mood to leave this place, even though I am now fully aware that I can.
      There is something very special about this scenery, and I'd like to stay for a bit longer.

      I take off my t-shirt, noticing that it's a bit odd that I'm wearing one.
      I never wear shirts to bed, especially not in the summer.
      I lie down on my back.

      It feels sooo good. My back touches the extremely cold water surface, which carries me easily.
      I feel very floaty and stretch out my arms.

      But even though this sensation is very enjoyable, blissful even, I cannot help but feel sad.
      Because in this sky I can see so many stars.
      Billions of them. And beyond them are billions of galaxies, containing billions of stars each.
      And I'm here, on this rather insignificant piece of rock: planet earth.
      Insignificant. That's really all I can think off.
      In comparison to the size of planet earth we have explored less than a single grain of sand.
      I feel alone. I feel stuck. I want to leave this planet.

      I stretch my right arm out and grab onto the stars in my field of vision with my hand.
      It's odd how I feel compelled to make this gesture even though nobody can see it but myself.
      I want to go there one day. I want to go within my lifetime.
      I want to explore this seemingly endless space.
      But I realize that I have most likely been born too soon.
      Why could I not have been born later, in an age where we are space explorers?


      Well, that is just fucking depressing.
      What is wrong with me?
      I'm dreaming. It's all about experiencing the unimaginable. It's about having fun.
      Yet here I lie, acting all melancholic.

      But then one of the stars becomes slightly brighter.
      For some reason I know that this is a super massive star that has just reached the end of its lifetime.
      Its core has collapsed, releasing a massive shock-wave. A supernova!
      During its lifetime it has fused hydrogen into heavier elements.
      Helium, Lithium, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen and many more.
      And now, as its final act it is launching all of it into the vastness of space.

      But these elements will inevitably find others. They will attract each other and slowly but surely clump together.
      Some of them will turn into planets over the course of millions of years.
      And with a lot of chance, one of these planets will be at a certain distance from a sun.
      Maybe another smaller body will orbit it. A moon.
      And maybe, if everything goes right, some of the elements this planet consists of will combine in a certain way.
      And then there will be life... there will be another earth.
      Because that's what life is.
      That is what we are.
      We are all made from stardust, forged within the cores of super massive stars.

      And that is a really beautiful thought.
      Because even though we might appear insignificant compared to the vast size of the universe...
      we are special!
      I mean seriously. What are the fucking odds?

      And that makes me feel really great and I cannot help but smile.

      Updated 06-18-2012 at 08:05 PM by 37117

      lucid , memorable , side notes
    15. Anti-Excitement

      by , 06-17-2012 at 11:52 PM
      This is my first Dream Journal i've written down
      I start off the dream at a Fun Zone/ Airport type setting. I found myself in a "party" type section of the area, with me was 2 younger black girls. I assumed they were sisters. We were talking and I found that whenever I got excited about something I kept passing out, kind of like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0h2nleWTwI the narcoleptic dog! No matter how hard I tried I kept falling down "asleep". Then the girl's father showed up and they encouraged me to stay awake. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn't do it. He began chasing me around the table that was in the center of the room and I would sprint, pass out, sprint.

      I am aware that I repress emotions, but this dream may give me new insight. Maybe I repress emotions to avoid the disappointments I had as a child. Whatever the reason, there's my first DJ!
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