side notes

Not sure what's going on. Not really remembering dreams. And if I do, they are chaotic, nothing that I can put into words.

True, I sleep less than normally. Going to bed around 9-10pm and getting up around 3am. I sleep better than when I was on midnight shifts, but something is off.

I'm also having hard time getting a morning nap, since I have only one shot at it having only one day a week off.

Too many thoughts in my head, too many things to work out. I kinda know what's bothering me, but I just can't get rid of it. Maybe with time. Or maybe I don't want for it go away. This way there is always hope.

Where are the times of 7 DEILD chains? Happy times.

D 1: Non-lucid- Mike & I were driving along & I was telling him to slow down so we didn't get stopped but he didn't listen & a cop came up behind us with his lights flashing but just went around us. Then out of nowhere another cop came up from behind us & before we know it we are in some military installation & are made to some kind of labor on an assembly line. Then at the end of the day they say we are going to receive some sort of compensation but instead of giving us money they say they are going to give money to our favorite charity & I was livid thinking "we are a kind of charity" seeing as we are badly in need of money.

I lost dream 2

Dream 3: There are four of us somehow related 1 was a toddler & then another that is about 10 & then the 2 older ones are me & a guy who are in our teens. It seems like we weren't all related biologically but step siblings somehow. We are in some sort of low budget carnival on the grounds where we are supposed to be staying. My dad was there with us telling us to be good etc. There is a playpen, a wooden one like back in the early 70's. We were trying to figure out how we would all fit in this tiny thing for some reason & complaining. Then us kids were sent up to a room to live in what was like a dorm & after we entered the room I woke up.

Yesterday I took a nap using this video below. I was in a dream & became lucid & was trying to change the whole dream into Platform 9 3/4 but my daughter called & I had to deal with that. I was so pissed off! I have never tried to change a whole dream before to make it what I wanted I have always either just been there already or it was a very close scene to what I wanted.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple

Dream
I'm travelling outside with a friend, there's sabretooth tiger cubs in the distance, 1 big snow white one. They're up a bit on the hill. It's turning into winter, a snow storm is coming from the mountains. They're getting closer now, they were playing together but they fought a bit with snow white sabre. We try moving in the opposite direction and come near a line of trees. There's a huge bear here, damn. I can sense a sabretooth tiger coming up behind me so I sprint at the bear, barrel roll as the tiger pounces and cause the bear and tiger to fight. Badass?? Absolutely.
I arrive in place where my daughter is staying(?) or a shelter by a mountain. There's a room, I remember my friend Mat staying here and I had seen him on a video recording where he was splayed out on the couch super tired. I think I let him stay at the place since he was travelling. I can't remember when it happened but I'm a little gingerbread sized plastic man who has lost his memory as well, like some kind of evil curse. It's a really deep and sad story (in the dream plot) which I'm also watching. There's a loading bar that shows it's a movie which is halfway through, about 25 minutes. My daughter doesn't know where her uncle is (which is me, since we apparently lied and said I was her uncle and not her dad) and now she believes she doesn't have a dad.. It's because I'm away working and can't be with her to watch her grow up, so she doesn't really know what a is. I can't remember that I'm her dad though (because of the curse) and everything is sad. I remember thinking that I really wanted to watch until the end of the movie, because it's just such a beautiful story. I know how it ends, the father (me) manages to break the curse and turn back to normal, my daughter is super happy to finally have her uncle back, but I decide to tell her the truth that I'm her dad. It makes her so happy to have a dad, and we're both so happy to be together finally. I don't get to see the story unfold though, because I start becoming more aware. I'm lucid in a way, the dream visuals fade but I don't wake up. Then I'm back in the room with my mom, not really remembering the previous plot as I'm doing other stuff. At some point she leaves and I see my friend in these tight jeans, nice . I'm horny so I hook up with her. I try taking off her pants but there's dream lag, and my imagination is 'broken', like it can't remember how to materialize certain features and is in a state of buffering. I understood something at this point about dream lag too, that stability is linked to the rate at which we expand the dream world around us. In an unstable dream we can't load too much or it will crash, but the more stable the dream the greater the load it can handle. This sounds pretty obvious, but it wasn't something I'd ever truly practiced. I'm always moving in my lucids, never just stopping. Usually this is because if I stop then I lose lucidity >_<...

Also, I've had a lot of intensely vivid dreams lately, probably because I've just started working.

I had no lucid dreams. I'm so pissed off that I can't find the answer to my video issue! I got to the youtube link & use the insert video button & it displays this https://youtu.be/KWcxgrg4eQI but won't embed it. I have asked around & no-one else seems to have this problem. I use google chrome & I tried to use the yahoo browser too. I have tried other links that others on here have given me & still I can't imbed a video in my journal. I hope someone reads this & gives me some help.

Preface: I came in late to work on 05/18. I was still not feeling 100% and yes, still taking cold medicines to knock this out. I stayed at work, went to dance practice, then decided to do a late yoga class to try and refocus my awareness.

DR 1

I am on a ship. I can see the blue, blue water from the deck. I am part of a group of people, who are in a line. We are behind 3 or 4 people, all waiting to be "judged". The "judges" are deciding whether or not we get to stay on the boat. I keep looking out towards the ocean, which seems endless. Its sunny and the water is so very blue and beautiful. I can feel the warmth of the sun on my skin. Suddenly a new group of people try to skip us in the line. Right away we tell them that we were here first, and we point them in the direction of the end of the line. There are some words exchanged between some of the men, but our place in the line is restored.

DR2

I am in bed with an ex-boyfriend. The room is dim, and everything looks blue and grey. I am on the left side of the bed and he is on the right. I feel as though we are trying to take serious steps to reconcile, but are unable to. Despite everything that has happened, we find ourselves attracted to one another. Our faces come close to each other, but we do not touch each other or kiss. I don't want to get closer. He tries to come closer to kiss me, when suddenly, the ceiling opens up. We look up, and from the dark gaps of the floor above us, two guys drop paintings in front of each of our faces, and ask us if we want to buy. I am startled and confused by the happening, but somewhat relieved with their timing. I ask, "how much?" and they both tell me "$17". I mentally understand that this is the price for both. I say I may not have any cash, but I check my night stand to my right side, and I have stacks of receipts and cash, though I believe the cash to be in $1 increments. I pick up two of the bills and find that they are both $20 bills. "Oh, here you go!" I exclaim, while handing one of the bills to the salesman above me. "Keep the change." They drop the paintings into our hands. I rise out of bed, look at my ex and in my head I think something along the lines of, "this is not supposed to happen".

DR 2B

I wander through a kitchen, and then to a dining area. There is a huge yellow sheet cake with buttercream frosting. My niece is seated at the table to my right. Someone is at the head of the table (possibly my mom?), a female. My niece says the cake is really good. Apparently, I baked it earlier. I begin to eat what's left of the cake, at least half a sheet. I stuff all of it into my mouth, and its amazing. Near the end of it as I am stuffing spoonfuls of buttercream into my mouth, I begin to feel sick. My stomach starts to turn and I begin to regret being such a glutton. My niece is looking at me in both amazement and disgust.

DR3

I find myself standing on the deck of the same ship again. I can see the blue water; I'm in the same place. It's still sunny on deck. I am still with the group of people and we are still standing in line. But everything seems to be going our way, as the "judges" have decided that we have some qualities that they like. I get very strong feelings that we are going to be allowed on the boat. I can feel that they like us and are going to accept us, and I have a very positive feeling.

Side Note: This positive feeling is with me when I wake, although I feel tired, because I feel as though I have not been sleeping.

When I first woke up I remembered I dreamed of my teeth falling out.

Then I took a nap and a few things I dreamed of. I don't know why but I was in a dark place shooting at some lady. She tries to get up but I shoot more...Have no idea why I would be shooting at someone... Then I'm like flying fast on a roller coaster. Its light out. I also see a green bird somewhere else. I'm interested watching the bird.

I feel that there really isn't much to be said about this one. Any thoughts to be had come quickly, and any semblance of images fade. But there is one image, one picture that is stuck in my memory; it will remain there, I think. I see the outside of my house, but it is slightly different. It contains more greenery, almost like it is a garden. There is a group of people standing outside, and I feel that they are friends. However, when i travel outside, they have disappeared, and what remains now gives me a feeling of unease. It is a group of people who I perceive wish to do harm to me and my friends. That is all I can remember about it. I know for a fact there was much more to this dream, and I hate that I can't remember all of it.

I have to say that I have not really been enjoying these dreams I have been remembering lately as much as I had hoped. There is nothing really striking or beautiful or meaningful about them. They just seem random, and they disturb me when I am in the midst of them. Even still, I wish I could remember them better. But I suppose I am grateful I have been remembering anything lately. For a while it seemed like I never could remember my dreams. No matter, I am hopeful for tonight. I desire a journey, a meaningful experience, a thought provoking encounter, a love.

Preface:
I am sick- full blown cold and lots of meds. Home from work today, but I am working online and its crazy busy.

Side Notes:
In posting these dreams I have noticed there are dreams with lots of green grass, children, also sunny days.

DR1
I am in very modern home. Everything is grey and black. I am in bed, and there is a huge window to my left. (The room reminds me of being in Vegas). I am lying beside someone, apparently, a boyfriend (? Nobody I know IRL). I can feel that we are not married but that the relationship is getting serious. He gets up while I am sleeping (dreamy/sleep state). I rise and start to dress. I grab my phone and I see that the text message I sent him the night before- its all jumbled and it looks like I wrote it while drunk. Its supposed to be some kind of silly sexy message from a song- so I become embarrassed.

DR 1A
Dream changes and I am at my mom's house. I am telling her about the text and how I'm so embarrassed. I am also worried, because I don't want my boyfriend (?) to think I am not serious about our relationship. We end up talking and walking to an area where there are lots of stores- a sort of shopping plaza with restaurants. There is a kosher place, and a place to get ice cream.

We walk into a restaurant (?), we sit down and she leaves. A friend (?nobody I know IRL) of mine is there and we start to talk. She starts to say its my birthday and I tell her I don't really want to do the group thing. I see another friend(?) and tell her that all i really want is a piece of cake, so we walk out together. Outside, there is green grass, and children kind of playing everywhere. One of the children has a remote controlled toy, kind of like a fairy helicopter, that picks up and drops a deck of cards one by one. Its a very sunny day and I am happy. I am amazed by the toy and I wake up.

Couldn't recall anything this time.

AP: We went to bed about 30 minutes early last night, about 9:30. So I tried a new technique of visualization. I laid down on my back keeping still, prayed, did a breathing exercise & used a protection of light all around my body. I changed the way I clear my chakra's by visualizing them spin & sent the negative energies away from my body w/ a stream of bright light, there's more to it than that but I'd have to use a diagram & I'm just not going to. I also added a visual walk through of a place that I would like to use in a lucid dream. I visualized the 9 & 3/4 challenge. I also asked in my head that I'd like to meet my spirit guides. Personally I think all of these things just prepare me for more lucid dreams..... With that being said I also did the mantra's like: I will have a lucid dream tonight. I will remember my lucid dreams tonight. I will astral project tonight. I will meet my spirit guides tonight. I will remember to ask for help from my spirit guide's in my dreams tonight. You get the idea. On week nights I usually stay up & read but my allergies were really bad last night & I felt a tingle on my lip & because I have an event soon, I took my meds to stave off any cold sores..... Ok, here's where things get weird. I frequently have my husband snore next to me when I'm trying to get into a state of paralysis & I'm always trying to telepathically tell him to stop before I actually bother him. I've been doing this for the last couple of months & also hoping maybe I can astral project w/ him even though he doesn't even practice lucid dreaming, because he gets about 4-5 hrs of sleep a night during the week. I have told him all of this so he won't be freaked out if this was to ever happen... It's just a quirky thing I do. But last night I was doing my meditation & it seemed like I irritated him, like he heard me twice in a row because he jumped & mumbled. After this I finished my routine & drifted into a dream, just a normal dream & woke up from it but my body started the vibrations & sound.I was in a state of sleep paralysis but I didn't realize I couldn't move yet, just that I wanted it to happen. My body started to vibrate w/ the normal hum & he started to snore again so I tried to telepathically tell him to stop twice & then I figured I might just be screwed because he wouldn't stop. So I reached over to touch him but it wasn't with my real hand but my astral hand. I reached over to find that I grabbed a cold small finger. It was above his stomach. It felt not wet exactly but like your hands feel when you get out the bathtub or pool kind of wet but really cold.... My brain reacted very fast, like my instincts & mind were trying to figure out what it was. It was like. Child, no, not child, definitely not my husband, alien, entity. I tried to yell his name twice but nothing came out. And then I was being pulled out of my bed & through my house by a force, not like hands or being grabbed. It pulled me through my bedroom, dining room & into my living room to the front door. My house is small so from my bed to the front door is about 40 feet.... Again my brain did the same thing as I can see I'm about to go through my glass front door. All at once I remembered my last astral experience & I knew if I put my hand on that door I would not go through it. So when I reached the door at a good speed, I put my hand on the glass & I felt it was cold & I put my feet down & whatever entity it was went through & away. I immediately was scared for my husband & I popped back in my body & sat up in bed. I was really pissed off. I had never thought about anything attacking my husband before but I sure did then & it pissed me off. I was gonna get back into that state & go looking for it! But my husband kept snoring again & I was too distracted. Finally, I got out my books & tried to find something similar to this but I haven't yet. But now I do understand it better. I don't think it was bothering him at all. It was just messing with me. And messing with me is okay. I can deal w/ that. And no I don't know what it looked like, I can only describe the finger. I also believe I was more vulnerable than usual. I don't drink or do drugs but I did take a medication that I don't take regularly which would make me very attractive to entities. It wasn't even a feel good med, lol.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown

I'm in a dark room with someone I kind of know. I feel uncomfortable being there.


I took a nap before work yesterday. Dreamed someone told me about my gf's card... I think I called her dad in the dream and he would not talk to me. My gf left somewhere...

During waking hours later, my gf lost her card but ended up finding it. Some resemblance to the dream.

I had a bad non-lucid. My first husband's dad told me that my ex died & my husband was comforting me in the dream. I woke up sad, even though he did unforgivable things to me & my kids there will always be some connection to him. I did ask God to forgive him for his sins after I woke up just in case this was a kind of sign that this will happen..... I have a fever right now & have a million of things to do to prepare for my trip which I can't talk about yet to people about. Being sick is really bad timing.

I have been trying to prep for:
Advanced Task i - Find platform 9 and 3/4 at Kings Cross Station and run through the wall. (WaltersDreams)
Advanced Task ii - Create an imaginary friend in the dream that no one else can see or interact. (Sensei)

I added this video for the Platform 9 & 3/4:

https://youtu.be/KWcxgrg4eQI

Still having trouble inserting video so if someone could help with that, it would be nice. I chose the insert video & put the link in and got this which I don't think will display more than the link. Sigh.

Woke up too quickly and couldn't recall anything.

My husband woke me up when he went to the bathroom around 3:15 am so since I had been up reading I had just been asleep about 30 minutes or so because I laid there trying to meditate & think about how to incorporate the TOTM into my dreams after reading some of "The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer.

Spoiler for Spoiler:

Dream #1- I tried again to go back to sleep & failed at the task but did have a non-lucid dream which was nice & vivid. I was in this house w/ high ceilings & was by the beach. It was a really BIG house! I was there with my grown kids & we were just hanging out. My husband was there too. It was really beautiful w/ the sun & waves rolling into the beach. We were walking on the beach & going in & out of the house like we were on vacation. We were getting all ready to go swimming & the winner of the show "The Voice" from last season was there which was weird. I told him to take his shirt off & he told me he only had 2 of them & that I had more. I told him most of my clothes don't fit me because women keep clothes from when they were really skinny just in case they lose weight. Then I realized it was weird I was asking him for the shirt & that he was actually taking his off, lol... I felt bad cuz he was a really heavy guy & probably didn't want to have it off at the beach which was why he was so hesitant. Then I realized I was dreaming & became lucid because Jordan was there & couldn't do anything to stabilize the dream because I had to pee in real life & it woke me completely up so my TOTM failed. But of course I still had to go back to sleep in order to attempt again.

Dream #2- I was dreaming this horrible dream so it may be almost classified as a nightmare in the beginning but changed later on. I was in this town but it wasn't a town, it was in this big place with the structure of isles like a "Sam's Club" so the shelves were warehouse style. There were so many people because like I said, it was like a whole town full of people in there. There were kids & parents & older people. Just all kinds of people! There were just so many of them! At some point I start to realize that the amount of people have diminished just a little bit & everyone there is still going about their lives like we were all little worker bees, so to speak. We are shelving things & pulling stuff off shelves to get them down for other people & families. It was like we were all now living in this "Sam's Club" store because something awful happened outside but I never saw any windows or cash registers. Suddenly I was noticing some jerky movements by some of the workers, kind of like when people in movies are doing shady stuff & they are looking around like they are trying to not get caught so I start to follow a couple of these people & see what is going on. When I get near them I realize that the job itself seemed to change. They were telling people to put these things in there mouths to keep them safe & someone recognizes me & tells me to put one in my mouth so I do. It's like some kind of breathing apparatus that filters stuff out of the air but you stick it in your mouth & it's about the size of a pacifier but it's a rectangle & it's yellow. But then I notice they are putting blue ones in other people's mouths & telling them the same thing but they are taking them into another room, like a storage room & the people aren't coming out. So, I look into one of these rooms & the people are dead! So I'm starting to panic but I realize I had the one that must filter stuff so I'm okay. There is a gas like substance in the air now but they are like clouds in the isles of this poisonous stuff like a fog. So I start looking for places where they have hidden these good breathing things on the shelves & it occurs to me that I'm dreaming because this is becoming all so weird, so now I'm lucid & instantly think that I'm tasting something in small doses. I start to look at my arms & realize I have got to stretch out my arms but I'm in this warehouse & I've already woke up once so I have to do the task in the warehouse for fear of waking up before I complete the task. So I do what I would do in real life if I could actually do this in this sort of situation. I start stretching my arms down the isles & I am reminded of those blow up things out in front of businesses that blown in the wind. It's a guy w/ floppy arms & legs & stuff so it briefly makes me laugh but then I see my arms are just like rubber & they don't hurt or anything but they can still detect these good breathing things some how & I pull my arm & hand back & I've got some in my hand so I go looking for people to give them too. As I'm giving them to some people I have to pull them down with me crouching on the floor because those guys who are killing people almost see me. So I give them the rest of what I have & tell them what I've saw & tell them to help other people & to try & find a safe place to hide. I then go back down a few more isles & realize there are becoming even less people in the store & there is more gas in the air now. I have to crouch down & hide behind things over & over because there are so many of these bad people killing people. Even though I'm lucid I'm thinking man this would be really bad if something like this really happened!. So I see a group of 5 people & they have a couple of little kids so I'm feeling like a super hero now with my long ass arms so I see how far I can reach without being seen. I held on to the end of an isle in case my arm does something weird & I get off balance but that didn't happen. I reached my long rubbery but light feeling arm down the isle picking up the breathing things on higher & lower shelves & I attempt to try to go to the next isle but I stop & pull my arm back. I start to think I have grabbed so many I'm going to drop them. So I pull my arm back & dispense to these people what I have start to look for more people but there are just not many people left but I do find a couple of them & explain all over again what is happening but by now they already knew & just wanted to breathe & get out of there so I stretched out my arm again but this time I made my hand larger because I was afraid this dream was going on for quite some time with me being lucid & it was starting get more foggy in there. It had a claustrophobic feeling now. But, this time since my hand was bigger I was able to hold more so I went all the way down the isle & around it & grabbed stuff off the next isle over first & then came back & grabbed from the isle I was in & I got a bigger handful this time. My arm felt different this time because it went around the corner it felt like it pulled on my shoulder more but more of an upward motion & my arm was kind of like if you had a really long ribbon but not quite that light, more like a kids lightweight jump rope but thicker & flatter. So I have these things in my hands & as I round the next corner I run right into those bad guys who are not so happy with me. But lucky for me, Meesha Cat woke me up & I didn't have to deal with them at all! Meesha is my real life Maine Coon kitty cat who likes to wake me up, each & every day except on the weekends where she wakes up my husband, lol. I also noticed that my mouth tasted like the smell of cockroach traps which was I guess how my brain computed the gas from in my dream so that's Basic Task #1 & Basic Task #2 Complete Complete!

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple

I began a new method in hopes of having more vivid and memorable dreams. So far, I can remember one of the dreams I had pretty well since starting this a couple days ago. I usually have been able to get up around 9 or 10 during the week, seeing as how I don't really have any early morning classes this quarter. But I realized I would probably be able to better remember my dreams if I woke myself up around 6 or 7 in the morning, when I would still be in a fairly deep sleep. So the first night i tried this, I remembered a dream I had in which I was thrown in jail for robbing a convenience store. I can't remember much else from this, apart from the fact that I nearly went mad in just the first few minutes of being behind bars (I wonder if this could be any indication of how I would be able to handle, or not handle, prison in real life). I hope to have somewhat more powerful and exciting dreams while putting this new method into use. Last night, in addition to setting my alarm for 7am, I also consumed a substantial amount of apple juice before drifting off to sleep. I used to do this on occasion in high school, and it would make for some pretty vivid dreams. However, it did not really seem to work this time. Well, I suppose it might have, and I may have just not remembered; also, I may have not woken myself up early enough. I think the particular brand of apple juice I used may not have been as effective as the ones I used in high school. Anyway, today I'll try to get my hands on some of the good stuff (Ha! Can you imagine someone referring to apple juice like this?), and I'll also set my alarm a little earlier (maybe 5:30am or so). In addition, I bought the new Radiohead album last night, and boy, I imagine listening to it before bed could make for some pretty interesting dreams. I'll add that to my method this evening too.