side notes

I had what felt like a long dream. I was secretly dating a guy who was a public figure, like in the pop industry or something. People definitely knew exactly who he was & didn't approach him for the most part. He seemed obviously younger than me. He was very handsome & mature for his age. At first I thought he was Justin Beiber, lol but he wasn't, he was older than that & didn't look like him after all. He was very calm & seemed to be in deep thought when he looked at me & when he looked around at all the people. He was very sure of himself & projected this but not in a cocky way. More of a very calm confident person. I've never before me someone who captivated other peoples attention but knew to not push them too far. Not like this anyway.. We were at an event where he was making an appearance. It looked like a benefit w/ many stages where there were competitions going on. For example there were big areas of water that looked green w/ lights in it & big rocks all around it. Like a stage set used for a movie. People were swimming in it & challenging each other to do this or that in the water. I don't know how to explain it. There were people all around us but he was extremely calm & cautious. Like he was trying to protect me from all of these people. I was telling him he didn't have to tell anyone about me & he calmly told me that he wanted people to know. So when someone asked him if he was dating me he said yes very calmly & confidently. His calm energy was very contagious I guess because my demeanor was suddenly very very unusually calm. In fact we were both unusually calm. We then were able to walk around holding hands & he still seemed very serious. As if he was calmly on alert to field any questions about this new romance that would now be scrutinized by the media. But I also felt an overwhelming deep connection w/ him. Not your typical DC experience. It was on the lines of love & a deep emotional connection where you feel like you don't question your relationship. You just know on a deeper level w/o question what you feel is real & true & strong. Like I was in a parallel universe & this was a duel reality of my own. (I have these kinds of dreams fairly regularly where they feel like real people in connection to me.)..... Like I said this dream went on for quite sometime w/ us just walking around & he never did anything to pinpoint exactly what he did for a living. It was like his presence there was enough for whatever reason.... Eventually he pulled me aside & told me that he wanted to marry me & that he wanted to tell people tonight. Of course I thought it would seem odd to people that he had just told them he was dating me & in the same night to propose marriage would seem rather hasty. But it didn't seem hasty to me because we had seemed like we had already been together for a very long time & that because of him being a public figure had wanted to keep this part of his life to himself. It was like he was tired of hiding the relationship. And sure enough he got up on this rock wall thing & addressed the people & stated that he & I were getting married, all with great confidence & a hint of "None of you will challenge this fact because it is what I say it is" tone in his voice. And no-one objected. We were free to roam about & he now had a demeanor of relief when he talked.... So we just walked around w/ each other in a state of bliss.. And then I woke up. Like on cue or something.

This dream seemed to have a climax building throughout the dream & then when that part was over the calm set in & the dream just faded into the night & I woke up. Definitely a memorable dream. I can't categorize it as lucid because I never had that ah-ha moment & then tried to act upon it. But I did note that I was married in real life while I was dreaming & that this was definitely not an average dream so that it was okay to act this way w/ this particular man. This was something else altogether different in my mind. It was more of a dream that seemed to be rooted in a factual nature. Like this place & this person was part of another life & did not need to be put in a category. Yet, I wish there was a kind of category for things that seem like they are of an "alternate reality or dimension". I woke up feeling very calm & the dream is still there in my mind many hours later just a perfect & preserved as can be. I won't forget this dream because of the intimate nature & realness it possessed for whatever reason.

Last night was very frustrating. My husband has a restless night & it interrupted my process... I tried to induce SP & I had even more sensations than ever before but was repeated interrupted. I had jerking, whooshing, seeing a light w/ my eyes closed & I had the sensation of weightlessness & the feeling of starting to float. But like I said my husband tossed & turned all night long & it made this process stop & start repeatedly. I was so frustrated. He is usually a pretty still sleeper but does snore & then so I may have to rethink when I try to do this or possibly even where. I may try to lay in our recliner at night & see if that works. I don't know. I guess I'll think on it.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple

Fell asleep: 11:03 P.M.
Woke up: 8:05 A.M.

8 hours 39 minutes sleep
last night 7 hours 2 minutes restful sleep
1 hours 36 minutes restless sleep
81 % restful sleep

Fragment 1:

I'm in a house. Dogs keep coming up to me, they seem really friendly and cute, but then? Then they start snapping out at me by jumping and shoving at me, and worst of all, taking big chomps out of my limbs! I'm terrified, but the others in the house don't seem to be taking it seriously, they just say the dogs have some emotional issues. The other dogs are outside or something, but there's one left in the house that's also cute and friendly looking, but I'm just waaaiting to get chomped on again. ;A; There was more to this but it was a really early dream and I didn't log details before going back to sleep. I'm not good at describing things but the dogs were on the small side and lean, brown/gold colored.

Fragment 2:

I'm sitting by my grandma F. (dead IWL). I remember picking up a notebook/diary and turning to a page written in 1992. Grandma wants me to read it. I'm having a hard time seeing what's written on the page though because of the darkness, so I try using the backlight on my activity watch, but it doesn't help much, just enough to see a small, faded paragraph written at the time in pencil.

I come across a page made in 1988. It has words cut out from magazines, and I realize it's our names. I remember seeing dad's name. Either I knew or someone told me that I made that page. But after a moment I'm like 'wait a minute I was born that year how the heck would baby me make this'.

I remember going through a tall stack of magazines. One was 'Pokemon'.

Some people are talking in the background and one (mom?) asks grandma if she wants a taco. I'm thinking about the heartburn when she says yes. She says something about how she'll need cough(?) syrup, and I replied that I was just about to say something about the heartburn she'll have.

Fragment 3:

This is a bit jumbled, but... An audience, including me, is watching two black singers on stage. It's kind of dark, but someone just beside the stage to the left notices someone else has snuck up there. As we watch, they become part of the performance, dancing in the middle. They seemed to have thick, stringy hair and a round face.

Back to me watching, I see that instead of a man, a tiger is dancing and singing with them. At the end, he transforms back into a tall, thin man in his late twenties maybe with brown/blond hair. The crowd boos, and I think it might be because it's a white man singing songs typical of black men.

I think I knew what song they were singing on the tiger part but I forgot.

Wakeup times:
1:30 A.M. for 25 minutes
3:50 A.M. for 1 minute
4:20 A.M. for a couple minutes
6:40 for a minute

April 17, 2016- 4:30 am

Dream #1: I was in this specialty tourist shop. It was decorated in true beach colors of coral & peach. It was surrounded by what I first thought were mountains but turned out to be giant hills located off the shores of some ocean. My dream family owned this place. (no real life family in this dream) The theme here was like a tourist shop but it had high end art that our family had made, too. Which also stayed true to the beach theme. It was actually quite detailed, which still surprises me when I get that in a NLD. My sister was asking me "Hey, do you remember that small shark themed piece that mom did?" Then she was irritated that I didn't remember it. She said we should go to our other shop & ask our dad about it. So we went there. We didn't travel or anything. We just walked down an isle and were there! Boy wouldn't that save on gas, lol. This is the first time I really contemplated travel like this w/ someone else. Even in the dream I started thinking it was odd.... So we got to our other shop which was basically identical to the other one. Our dad was there & she asked him if he remembered it & he found it. It was about the size of a kids ant farm but it was just as she said, shark themed w/ shells & sand & stuff in a frame under glass.... At this point I realize why she is frustrated. She mentions that our mother died & apparently this was one of the last thing she had made....... This dream was starting to take a turn towards being lucid when I started realized how we had traveled but Meesha strikes again & woke me up. I want to close the door but the last time I did that she payed me back by pottying somewhere other than outside or in her litter box. She has her own door so she can come & go as she pleases.

Dream #2: (I will explain after I tell my dream) This dream was dramatically different! This has my real life family in it. In the dream it was basically a power struggle of sorts. It was my sister Dena & my aunt Lana were trying to get me to talk to my grandma Daisy. It was a big power struggle. This crazy dynamic went on & on in some house around a counter that was actually in Crazy Daisy's house when I was growing up. It looks exactly like a diner counter w/ the Formica counter tops, including the extra shelf like counter above it. You'd have to look it up, I can't really explain it better than that. So anyway, here she comes. Crazy Daisy. She is now in my dream & is trying to manipulate me once again. But I won't let her. I'm very firm w/ her & don't stoop to anyone's level. I'm just solid w/ my answers & don't allow them to wear me down... I choose to opt out of this dream & just wake up... ...


Details: My grandma Daisy, who is my mom's mother. (I call her Crazy Daisy). She is still alive & I refuse to talk to her because she is a terrible human being & I choose to not have anything to do w/ her. I watched how she disrespected my grandfather when he was alive & she tortured my mother which affected my relationship w/ my mother when I was a kid & was going through a serious trauma in my life... My mom & I are all good now... It should be noted that this woman was also very mean to me as a child.... I would have to go to her house many times a yr & it was pure torture. My mother's youngest sister is a couple of weeks older than me. Her name is Jill... This created a strange family dynamic. So when I'd go there, Crazy Daisy would tell me all about her prodigy prim & proper daughter & how I she was so much better than me, it was quite the production she put on, believe me! She called me really nasty names & it was just pure torture.... She's a manipulative liar & I refuse to have that toxic person anywhere near my family in any way at all.... If she dies, I will not be attending this event & am totally okay w/ that... My mom totally agrees w/ me about her being a mean manipulative liar & all but she says she tries to look past it now & looks at her as this little old lady. This is her prerogative & I respect that but my position will remain the same.

Side Note: I would not be surprised if she calls me, dies or someone mentions her in the very near future because that happens to me a lot in my life when I dream of someone I don't usually see... example: I had a dream about one of my husband's ex & logged it in my journal & then he calls me from work saying she called him at work & he had to report the call to security. (because she is insane.)


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple

Fell asleep: 1:55 A.M. (with 25mg trazodone)
Woke up: 8:10 A.M.

6 hours 14 minutes sleep last night
5 hours 10 minutes restful sleep
1 hours 4 minutes restless sleep
83 % restful sleep

Fragment 1:

Apparently my Uncle J made a surprise visit, and he transported his pool water with him and put it in a ditch. We went there to see him. The water was turquoise blue. I got upset because K, J's daughter, was there too, and no one had told me. This would be the third time my sister had surprised me with her and put me in a vulnerable position.

Gap.

I was in the water and trying to swim around, but it was just way too shallow and uneven for it.

Note: While my sister did hurt me twice IWL, one time involved school friend A and the other another school friend (L) and her dad. K had nothing to do with it, but my dad was talking to J & K via Skype yesterday.

Fragment 2:

Cole (Pillywiggin on here) showed me about 7 sheets of paper. They were all from penpals he was writing to. I was surprised and like "why didn't you tell me? :O". They all had fanart drawn on them, some had a little text, some had a lot, but they were all in Japanese.

-Detective Conan. Doodles of Conan mainly I think. There was a lot of text on it and I was worried Cole wouldn't be able to read it all. Some part of me asked why Cole would have this, because he isn't into DC like me.
-Undertale. I remember a small Toriel doodle.
-Sailor Moon. The page was mostly filled with a colored illustration of Sailor Moon.
Aaand that's all the ones I remember. :'<

Cole said that the art he'd sent back was all from the Homestuck game he'd been making but had never finished.

I was really curious about doing it too, but I wasn't that great at art like Cole so I was worried what I'd put in my letters.

Wakeup times:
7:25 A.M. for 20 minutes

General notes:

I find it so interesting when I question things in the dream idly. I can see where it could lead to becoming lucid if more awareness was in the picture. It's kind of amusing to be going along in the dream and be like 'but x doesn't make sense' and such and still just...keep going. Either because you make up an excuse or because you shrug it off. *smh*

Nice & early bed time. Set strong intention to have interesting and meaningful dreams, and to remember my dreams.

+ (D1) I'm flying / floating high in the air above a bridge, and I'm falling down towards it. I can somewhat control my direction and I'm aiming to land on the walkway of the bridge. I hope I don't miss it! I end up scooting down a long hill and at the bottom I see my ex-GF SB [DREAM SIGN] and her former BF, S(K?). Being all magnanimous, even though I want to go hug SB, I first go up to SK and hold out my hand for a handshake. At this time I hear SB say something like, "Oh, hi, <my name>". Hm, I was expecting a more enthusiastic greeting after not having seen each other all these years. (I get a long hug from her?) She's way shorter than I remember [she was short to begin with]. [Day residue: I saw a very short girl in the evening and thought of SB, trying to remember who was shorter].

+ (D2) ... some stuff going on, then... I find myself in a beautiful isolated spot on the open road. I think I'm on a bicycle: something open to the air. A straight black-top, two-lane highway with a dotted yellow line down the middle extends in front of me, hidden by the rising curve of a hill just up ahead of me. What gets my attention is the beauty of the situation: I feel the wind on my face, and smell the scent of the earth. It is bright daylight with a blue sky and I sense greenery around me, rising hills of grass perhaps, in my peripheral vision. This is what it's all about, right here -- the freedom of the open road. And I don't even have to experience it on a motorcycle, here I am on a bicycle! But, to return to this place from where I live [FALSE], it's a very long ride on a bike. What if I were on a motorcycle? I'd have a helmet on. I could reach up and flip down the visor. I do so and a transparent visor comes down in front of my vision. I can see through it fairly well, but I also see the visor material. I can still feel the wind and the scent of the earth coming to me up inside the helmet I'm now wearing.

I'm now on a motorcycle [DREAM SIGN], a new one . It doesn't seem to be running, but I'm approaching a long, steep hill leading down in front of me [DREAM SIGN]. I remember my training, and first apply the rear brake with my right foot. It doesn't do too much. So I squeeze the right hand brake, making sure not to apply too much too fast to prevent the front wheel from locking up. I then apply some more rear brake pressure, and the motorcycle eventually comes to a stop.

Up ahead of me are some buildings. I'm now holding a newspaper, there are articles in here from old-timers, something to do about the (dangers? benefits?) of alcohol. Someone wants to suppress their opinions. As I go, [for some reason!?], I start tearing out chunks of the newspaper and eating it[!!]. I do this several times.

I'm now in some sort of office, young women are bustling about, it's a newspaper office? There is a story about a black man who died (was killed?), who had a white wife and kid, he was a well-known chocolatier.

+ (F1) Walking along a road, suburban neighborhood, one old man walking his dog meets another old man standing with his dog at the end of his driveway. They greet, they know each other, the dogs get tangled, then they kiss each other on the cheek and then give a quick peck right on the lips. The walking man moves on.

+ (D3) I'm at a gas station, getting gas for my motorcycle. It has a detachable large gas tank, like a large long oxygen tank or the tanks used to hold helium at balloon stores. I'm pumping the gas into the tank and it stops and I want to start it again but I can't figure out how, I wasn't paying attention before. There are levers to push and dials to twist. I eventually figure out that the gas dispensing works from the knob with a kitchen-timer-like control: you twist the knob, choosing an amount of gas that you want, the numbers of the amounts are set on the dial with little marks, like the marks showing the numbers on the dial of a combination lock. I keep twisting it, it starts running and dispensing gas, it reaches zero, and I twist it again to get more. I shake the tank a few times to see how full it is, it's heavy but definitely only about half full.

There is now a line of people behind me and they're getting annoyed that I'm taking so long. I pull the tank back to my motorcycle and (put it back? think about how to put it back?). There's a control interface on the tank, a small black circle with a doohickey that falls off and down inside?

+ (LD #181) ... some stuff, then I'm in a small office with glass walls [DREAM SIGN] to the outside, like in a stip-mall. It's a police office. A young short blonde woman comes in, she's completely drenched soaking wet like she's been out in a downpour for a long time without an umbrella. She wants to tell the police woman something but the police woman is busy on the phone. So she turns to me and tells me to pass on the message that she found her wallet after all and so to cancel the missing wallet report. I have a vague recollection that I remember her from earlier in the dream and that I remember that she had lost her wallet [false?]. She says she is from Alabama, and writes down the message with her address (I see "Alabama"?), I listen to her speech but don't detect a southern accent. She leaves. The police woman eventually gets off the phone and I give her the message about the wallet and she says "good."

Then I'm riding in a car with the police woman. She's driving, and I'm for some reason down sitting almost under the steering wheel (a little bit to the passenger side of it. I have my knees on the floor and I'm leaning up against the woman with my head against her chest. (Her shirt is open? No breasts visible though). I look up into her face and see her eyes and eye brows, she has a bit of a Latina look to her.

Then I start telling her about my motorcycle dream. About how vivid and clear it was, about the beauty of the open road. I ask her, "Have you ever had a dream where you knew you were dreaming while in the dream?" She nods indicating yes. All the while that we've been talking, I've worked my hand up her skirt, and hold it up against her privates there for a long time, feeling the shape of her body. I wonder if she'll object but she doesn't, but I don't make many movements. "Awesome!" I say. "I think that I heard that they call this 'lucid dreaming'". I of course know what it is, but for some reason am trying to hide my intimate knowledge of the subject from her. "I also have lucid dreams. When you are lucid in a dream, what do you do?" .

She stops the car studdenly and gets out, with a horrified expression on her face like I've done something glastly. "Does your family know you lucid dream?" she asks? "No," I answer..."Uh, yeah, my kids do..."

We've stopped in front of a (school? some building with people inside). The woman goes off to another building across the street and I hear her making a verbal report on me, like she's putting on a APB on me she says my last name (I don't remember telling her my name?), and that I'm on a red motorcycle. Hah, good luck finding me, I think, I haven't had that motorcycle in years.

I'm riding down the road, it dips down and there's some stuff on the right. Then it crests in a hill and there's a sudden very steep down hill stretch of road right in front of me [DREAM SIGN] I drive down it and I pick up a lot of speed. At the bottom there are intersections crossing the road, there's no way I can stop, I don't even reach for the brakes, but there's no cross traffic, thankfully.

Up ahead I hear the sound of children playing. The road becomes an intersection which becomes a play room, a common play room for like an apartment building. There are lots of small children playing there, with mothers and older sisters watching them. All the kids are playing with wooden toy trains on little wooden train tracks [like I had]. They're moving the trains about in figure 8's and I think they're learning about traffic safety when the trains reach the intersections on the tracks. I move back and forth between two rooms, watching the children. I wonder that the mothers haven't complained or noticed me, an unknown person, being here. A little girl comes up and sort of falls into me, and I give her a hug. As I let her go she sort of adorably plops down falling on her butt then moves away.

There are some hot moms here...I tell myself "If I were lucid and dreaming right now....HEY! I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming, and I take a big breath preparing to do a nose pinch. Yup, I can breathe. I stand up, forgetting my surroundings, and walk forwards into the next
room. I immediately think "OK, time for ToTM." But nothing comes to mind. Well, if there are no ToTMs to do right now...

Spoiler for sexy time:

I pull down my pants, feeling a bit strange about doing so, but recalling that I'm dreaming so It's OK. I head back to the rooms looking for those hot women, but nobody's here now. I hear the sound of people from the other room, but again when I go there, nobody's there. I think "OK, in the next room, there will be a hot woman," and I go there and there is one. So I get her to give me some oral attention, and I give her some directions. She's wearing a blindfold. I reach down to take it off and right after I do,

I wake up.

I was running & was guided into something. At first I thought it was a RV but then realized it resembled instead a gold submarine on wheels. My family was outside trying to find out what was going on & I was on the inside w/ my prince & his parents, the king & queen & others that were trying to help us keep others out. I was told that because I was his new princess there was some kind of power grab that others were trying to make by capturing me & that they would be in charge somehow if this happened. I looked down & realized my ring was gone & I started to panic & started looking around for it. I accidentally opened a door a fraction of an inch & for a moment the outsiders were able to see inside so the king & queen acted as though they were having sex as a diversion. While I was looking around for the ring & this weird sex act was taking place, I became Lucid. (I'll explain things later what triggered this). So now that I was lucid I knew I could not attempt a WBTB or a WILD today so I took advantage of just having fun w/ my dream. I started changing things as they all became more & more vivid. There were luxurious pillows everywhere. I was expanding the confined place to make it bigger & safer. I also kept looking for my ring which was found among some nuts & bolts. My prince was my husband & the king & queen were plump & w/ royal frumpy garbs. This was fun. I was looking at all the rivets made of gold & small windows to peek out of. I was really happy w/ my creativity. I was able to hear my family outside more clearly & they wanted frantically to know what was happening & where I was, which was not helping me hide. The floors were made of that bumpy metal associated w/ tools but I don't know what that is called. The whole thing had a futuristic feel to it.... Unfortunately my husband was rousing awake next to me & I knew I had to wake up because, although lucid dreaming is really fun I also knew very clearly that my real life must come first & this cannot interfere w/ that. This is a line I do not want to cross. Therefore I knew my time was up & I opened my eyes & I was fully awake but because my dream was lucid I could remember it very clearly.

Now to explain. Before I went to sleep I was practicing my MILD mantra's of "Tonight I'm going to lucid dream & I'm going to remember them" & "I will use my wedding ring as my dream sign" because it is not only significant to me it because it has a flaw. It really does come apart. The weld came loose a while back & 1 of the 3 sections is not connected right now. Therefore, I only usually wear it when I leave the house except when I swim, so that I don't lose it at the pool. It's unique & it was custom made. A one of a kind, w/ a one a kind flaw right now. It's been this way for about 4 yrs or so but I kind of like it like that. I know that sounds weird..... Then there was the King & Queen suddenly having sex which simultaneously reminded me of the fact that I couldn't keep sleeping for long... I had a hysterectomy in December & have a set time to try & have intercourse to strengthen the area where my cervix was taken out of.... So all in all I had a successful DILD & MILD w/ my dream sign being my wedding ring.

Green: Non-Lucid
Red: Lucid
Blue: Details

Fell asleep: 11:15 P.M.
Woke: 8:15 A.M.

8 hours 53 minutes sleep last night
7 hours 17 minutes restful sleep
1 hours 35 minutes restless sleep
82 % restful sleep

Dream 1:

I was in a bookstore looking through the books. I got really lucky and found an m/m romance book, but it was volume 2. I looked through it and found BookCrossing.com labels EVERYWHERE. Mainly loose labels and papers about it.

Unfortunately, I had added more books to my pile, and had sat the stack down briefly to keep looking. When I picked it back up, the volume was missing. :/ I remember complaining to someone (I think the shop owner, an elderly lady) but she wasn't helpful.

I also remember someone helping me find a slim book I'd had but lost in the other books. They did find it and hand it to me.

Jump.

A little girl wants to buy this tub of garlic butter, but there's only a little left in it. I know I have some with more in it, so I go find it, but it turns out it's all dry and unusable. There was a bit more but I don't remember it, just that the shop owner was there.

Dream 2:

There was a guy imprisoned in a room. He was on a bunk-bed I believe. He climbed down and tried on a pair of dressy black feminine shoes that were on the floor, but they were way too big. He thought that if he had bigger feet like his friend, he could fit them. He put the shoes back down and got back on the bed. Some more guys entered the room, and he worried that they'd noticed he'd moved the shoes.

The guys were talking about something, and one guy was reading something aloud or quoting something, and bunk-bed guy had to fill in the blanks. He filled it in with one of the nCrave cards on Swagbucks.com. Somehow it turned out to be a love confession, and the filled in name was one of the guys, which actually turned out to be true - one of these guys had given up on him, and now it seemed like the other guy was into him after he'd already given up hope.

~This dream was confusing not only because of the jumbled details, but because the characters seemed to be from Noblesse. Bunk bed guy was either Tao or M-21, and the guy with the big feet was M-24.

Fragment 1: Sitting carefully on a ledge surrounded by buildings/ledges. Hearing a cat meowing and calling out to it. It somehow makes it to me. I think it was black.

Fragment 2: Seeing someone in the store in their full pajamas.

Wakeup times:
2:15 A.M. for 10 minutes
4:35 A.M. for a couple minutes
5:00 A.M. for 15 minutes

Fell asleep: 11:30 P.M. (with trazodone)
Woke up: 9:02 A.M.

9 hours 18 minutes sleep last night
7 hours 38 minutes restful sleep
1 hours 39 minutes restless sleep
82 % restful sleep

Dream: I was exploring a new house we were staying at, and I started finding secret doors, but they all just seemed to be alternate paths to other parts of the house until I found this one that led to a dark room. I tried turning on my activity watch's backlight but I don't know if it worked. Still, I could see better, as I spotted books on a table to the left. I could see that they were probably all just romance but I had to be certain, so I walked up to them and skimmed through them with my eyes. Yep, romance.

At some point I realized this was just another familiar room, that it didn't maybe lead to someone else's house like I speculated after I heard a TV running. Then I realize that someone is coming over - dad. Not knowing what else to do, I waited until he was to my right and yelled "Boo!". He wasn't surprised, as usual.

I'm exploring a specific section of the house. I'm crouched down on the floor looking in the nooks and crannies of a shelf or something, and there's a bunch of objects stuffed in there. There's a kid to my right and I realize it was probably him that did it. I pulled out a handful of writing utensils. Then I start looking for diapers, but all I find is toys and stuff.

Fragment: Looking through a hidden house full of some kind of historical stuff packed away, a man discovers me, another pile of hidden stuff back outside near a tree.

Wakeups:
1:35 A.M. for 23 minutes
3:45 A.M. for 16 minutes
7:20 A.M. for 41 minutes
9:02 A.M. for 15 minutes

I've been thinking lately about something a friend said to me, apparently if you stay properly hydrated during the day then your body will need 30% less sleep during the night. This is because keeping hydrated allows it to function better during the day so you don't need to recover as much while sleeping. I started paying attention to how hydrated I've been and noticed that the days where I stay extremely well hydrated result in the nights being more vivid with a higher chance of lucidity. I had 2 lucids last night which was unexpected, especially since the activities I spent time on doing yesterday usually result in me being less aware (reading, gaming, watching shows, exercising). My awareness has also just been generally gobshite over the past few days, despite meditating every night. I also didn't meditate last night since I was too tired, but I did consume a massive amount of liquids throughout the day. The only variable I can think of was that I drank like 3 different kinds of tea which I usually don't drink at all. Other than that my diet was completely the same as always.
I think staying hydrated could be a key condition for myself getting lucid at night, so I'll keep paying attention to it for now.

Dream 1 - Cafe Playground
I remember being with my daughter inside a playground (like the ones in McDonald's). She was much younger than she is now so I was helping her out a lot. I remember being able to see her mother/family outside the playground, we decide to head down a slide and go see them. We get down safely and go sit in the cafe that we appeared in. Next to me is someone from the family but I can't recognize who. I order a smoothie, it must be blueberry (guessing from the blue colour). I think I get up to go pay or something and I realize the baby isn't on me, so I turn around and go pick her up but I realize I'm dreaming. I wander past the cafe (it's like a small cafe they in the middle of the mall) and look around. The area seems similar to the mall near where I live, I think about what to do and come to a decision. In 1 of my previous lucids I was able to enter a VIP area by the elevator and wanted to see if I could get in there again. I find an elevator and press the button a few times. Geeze I feel like it's not working, eventually I wake up. The dream was pretty standard for my lucids, about 30-60 seconds.

Dream 2 - Star Wars office
It was like I was in a star wars video game (like jedi academy), I was doing a mission in an enemy base. The corridors were all metal and there was an opened gateway to my right. Past the gateway was a rocky cliff that seemed to end in an endless abyss, but there was another gateway on the other side. I'm sprinting along as I see this gateway, the doors on both sides are slowly closing, I do a huge leap over the abyss and tumble under the gateway on the other side. It was really close but I managed to make it before the door closed. I then enter the stars wars galactic government room, with all those floating things the politicians talk from. I remembered that in a video I watched a while ago the race E.T. was from was part of the galactic government, for some reason I really felt like looking around for them. After not being able to see them (though there were definitely a whole variety of alien species around) I had the awareness to become lucid. I decided that, unlike in my last lucid earlier in the night, I would reality check and attempt to stabilize a bit and then pursue a dream goal. I pushed my thumb into the palm of my hand, stretching it and confirming the dream state. Next I decided that I'd continue my search for a dream guide, the area I was in was more like a business work floor now. I remember seeing a girl walk past so I tried asking her if she was my dream guide, she kept moving away too fast and I couldn't catch up. She was only walking at a normal pace and I was running, she should have been a metre apart but eventually the distance increased to several metres and she disappeared. I got too caught up in the chase and ended up waking up.

I only remember a single fragment, but it was a rather powerful vision/exit dream. Got up maybe 10 minutes ago, still blurry and associative fluid.

I see a vision of expanding consciousness, it is expanding into light from the top of my perceptual field. There is a brief moment of pre-verbal reflection on my increased capacity to enter these expanded quasi-mystical states.

An image appear, or rather it is a translucent spectral scenario, set against the backdrop of the fluid shadows in darkness at the back of my eye lids.

It is a river bank, the river is wide, it is the Amazon. The trees are in-differentiable, there are so many. The image twirls inwards on itself as slightly to my left The Golden Python makes a brief appearance, she has business with me. Intent is clear, content incipient – I hear you Mother!

I had two non-LD's that were considered nightmares & it was so insane I refuse to post it on here, lol. Today was just an all around shitty day. A lawyer told me today that my husband makes $300 over the allowed amount for me to recieve social security & since I haven't worked in 10 yrs I'm not eligible for disability unless I work for 5 yrs full time, which I can't due to my medical issues, which is why my doctor referred me to the lawyer for disability....And I now have a new medical bill to pay each month till I die & my dr's visits went up astronomically due to DEA regs on my meds for multiple manditory drug tests for each of my meds & classification of meds. I guess I'm glad I don't drink or do drugs because I believe this would definately be the day to do those things.... My husbands job got adjusted because they lost their union last week & I had to listen to my mother-n-law repeat the same things a million times today do to Dementia. (God Bless her). And my problem child daughter came by and threw her crazy self into my path... This day is an actual nightmare. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. Amen & good-night.

Preface:
A lot going on today. Up at 8am, preparing for a pottery party I have planned for my co-worker. Party goes well. I spend the evening with my best friend. We were talking about recent comunication that we both oddly received from our EXES this past week. I go home for an hour or so, and then go back out to catch a live band with her. I got home at 1, went to sleep at 2.

Side Note: Frustration. Two of the ladies at the pottery party became VERY frustrated with painting their pieces. One of them was so upset that she washed her piece and then proceeded to sit with her hands in her lap during the remainder of the event. I felt like something else was going on, but I didn't ask. She is a friend of a friend's, so it wasn't my place.


DR 1
I am in an office building. A fire has started and most of the people have run out. Some are still running. Nobody pulls the fire alarm, so I do. I walk outside the building. There is a sidewalk path to another building, so I take it. The building doors are wide open, so I walk in. The walls are white. White ceilings, brown carpet. There is only a hallway, which extends in each direction. Its quiet, and I can hear the faint sound of the alarm I pulled in the other building. I turn to the right down the hallway. I see a red alarm panel on the left wall and I pull it.

DR 2
Everything seems to have calmed down. I am walking down a hall in an office building. I pass a co-worker, a handsome man, who I have apparently just repaired a work relationship with. We smile and greet each other. I continue down the hall. I am wearing office attire, a white blouse, a skirt (? color) and heels. I am holding an order with a ticket number on it- 3757. I know that the co-worker has changed my order and resubmitted it as 3758. I think about telling my boss because something about it isn't rigt. At that moment, I get called into my boss's office. My boss is a black lady with long braids in her hair. I feel that she doesn't like me much. I am seated at a white table. She asks me about the order. Before I can finish telling her the story, she calls in my co-worker. I place my head in my hands. I can't believe that she has done this before I can tell her what happened. And I can't believe this is happening when I have just literally became friends with this guy again. He whispers to me, "what's going on?", and put my lips to his ear and say, "they have no idea what's going on".
I place my head in my hands again.

DR 3

Members of a movie crew are filming in the courtyard of the office building. The courtyard has a swimming pool. I'm not sure why the film is happening and I'm not sure why we have a pool. All of a sudden, a little black boy comes running from my left at full speed and cannonballs into the pool. Somebody yells, "that's a wrap", and I see the microphone swing over the pool. There are crew members in place to take the boy safely out of the pool.

DR 4
I am in a convenient store. A tall black lady comes in. She looks like a model. She is wearing a dark blue and bright orange dress with a sunhat. A guy's voice is heard over the intercom. He tells her to turn around so he can see her on the video cameras. She doesn't seem to hear im, so I grab an umbrella from one of the displays nearby and point to the cameras. I tell her what he said. When I actually walk up to her, she is at least a foot taller than me. I am 5'6", but she is clearly way taller. I feel so short. She turns around so he can see her. She asks if she looks ok. I tell her that her dress is cute. She says thank you and then bends over to reach into a chest (which is somehow a cooler doubling as a chest?) There are clothes inside it for some reason. As she bends over I see the top of her big hat.

Spell's comp begins tonight (For me, it's meditation, big glass of water for wee-back-to-bed, and bed). I still sort of can't believe I actually am trying a competition. (Well if I don't like it, I won't do it again...) Anyways, since I tend to reside in the dream journals section more often than the forums, I'll drop these here so I don't lose them in the gatling gun of posts that are abound to happen on Spellbee's thread.

And as my crappy luck would have it, I came down with a fairly bad headcold the day the comp starts. So I might be a couple days late before lucidity kicks in.

OLD: Waterbending
OLD: Firebending (Outside of flight)
OLD: Become Female

NEW: Earthbending (Reasonable Scale, move a boulder at least as big as myself)
NEW: Airbending (Reasonable Scale, Strong Gust of wind, Mini Tornado, etc.)
NEW: Encounter/Confront tsunami dream. (May overlap with Waterbending)
NEW: Teach Manei (My dream guide) how to defend herself/fight. I will consider any length of instruction (Even if it's just a single move) a success.

Three Step Task: (Mmmk I wanna challenge myself with things that haven't worked in the past. But doing all of these in the same LD... whoo...)

-Element Manipulation (There might be overlap with personal goals. If there is, I will take whatever score gives more.)
-Teleportation. (I think there's a dream spell that I can use. Tesser-A-[Destination])
-Basic Summoning. (I've done this before, but I'm out of practice...)

...

Also, dream frags and stuff. This is from the morning of the ninth:

I vaguely remember something to do with a pair of mice or mice like characters. They lived in a large castle lived by an evil greedy king. There were these two mice with long fur, that looked like little fuzballs. They had tiny swords too. Supposedly the mice were actually enemies of the kingdom that had been transformed into mice by an evil wizard. This was a punishment for attempting to rebel against the kingdom. There were more and more of the long-haired mice over time. Eventually they plotted to poison the kind and all of his men, and were successful.

...

And from this morning:

I remember I was walking outside with my dad. I remember looking up at the sky and noticing that it was yellow and green, with a huge anvil shaped thundercloud. This prompted me to do a nose pinch reality check and become lucid, but I forgot what else happened after that. I was happy I got lucid though.

There was more from this morning. Some of it was sexy. (I think I'll be omitting all sexual dreams for the comp.) Some of it was just bland muck about school and an old bully.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

I am guiding an Ayahuasca ceremony. It is not at Strandgaarden, but a different abolished farm house.

We are in the ceremonial room and I am trying my best to relax, while still paying attention to the needs of the travellers. I am the last available guide and so I find myself a little nervous as this will be the first time I will deal with an intoxicated participant. Soon hereafter a parson raise her hand and I go to her.

Jocelyn Girala – I think – would like to go to the toilet. She is an experienced traveller and she seems like she can manage her movements, but I still make sure I have an arm close by to support her in case she should slip, though she seems interested in keeping her own balance. I feel slightly awkward, not entirely sure about how to compose myself bodily, but I center myself and relax my nerves.

I guide her and we are headed towards the toilets. The toilets we are headed towards are the outside ones next to the Sauna at Strandgaarden, however, Jocelyn insists that we carry on and head towards the next ones out. There normally aren't any further toilets further out, and I find myself surprised when I find out that there is.

There are two toilets, but with two separate entrances to each. I ask Jocelyn which one she would like to use and she considers the question a short while, and indicate she would like to go to the one furthest away.

“No problem” I say.
“But you have to go into this one” She responds, which makes me slightly suspicious and unsure of myself as I want to be available to help her. I enter the toilet however and notice the door is lockable with a padlock. And so I stop up and turn around. I see malice and mischief in the eyes of Jocelyn. I am not far enough in that she can actually lock the door, but I know for certain that this is what she intended and as I realise this she smiles wickedly.
“Who are you?” I ask, and we switch positions so she is now furthest into the entrance. We are now in a cosily orange lit stables, with open rafters in close to our heads supporting the roof structure. There are a lot of girders about, all brown. Jocelyn Is hanging from one of the support rafters with one hand, while she is trying to attack me with the other, which I prevent her from doing with my left hand.

I find myself singing – icaros – more chanting than singing, I feel myself interfering at the level of intellect to start out with, though I manage to let go of this. I also “purr” at her, to manifest whatever needs manifesting at this stage. I also find myself out of my depth slightly, but I do what comes naturally to me.

Jocely no longer looks like she does when we entered the toilets. She looks like a mulatto and she looks a hell of a lot younger – maybe 20-25 – and she stares at me, venom, hatred and anger burning in her eyes.
“I can't hold back” Jocelyn whimpers from behind this new entity. It is Jocely who is holding back with her left hand in the rafters – while I support her figure with my right hand and keeping the hand of the entity at bay with my left. I feel a tinge of nervousness, but also a sense of calm confidence as I tell her:
“Maybe you should just surrender and let go, we can explore this together” And after a brief moment of hesitation Jocelyn lets go and let the entity descend on me – full force, which necessitates that I protect myself with both hands. All the while I keep up my chanting, and I place my hand (not sure which one, as I am also using both of them to manage her flailing arms) on her chest and apply a slight pressure moving my hand upwards – which fuels her rage.
“Who are you?” I ask again and get a vague answer presented intuitively.

Rita – Lita… somewhere mid 19th century – a black woman, maybe a mulatto, who has anger problems.

There is a brief skip, maybe someone helps her back into the ceremonial room.

I find myself standing in the stables talking to an old lesbian friend from England.

She has been hurt by Jocelyn. We talk a bit and I hug her and we find acceptance in the fact that Jocelyn is a racist, but that she cannot really help it – it is karmic – which helps my friend find a sort of forgiveness for her. It is as if (R/L)ita has somehow carried it though this incarnation and forced it upon her. I remember saying something along the lines of.

“So there was racism in the past”
“Yes” my friend replies, sobbing slightly.
“So Joecelyn...”
“Is a racist” my friend completes.

Then Saman and the other guides call me back into the ceremonial room. (R/L)ita is causing havoc in there and a few of the other guides are holding her against a wall.

“We can't seem to control her” Saman is telling me. It is as if (R/L)ita is refusing to leave the body of Jocelyn now that she is there again. “I think only you can finish this” Saman continues. And so I walk over to Jocelyn and start preparring to continue the chanting and acupressure moves I have recently learned (will soon learn IRL).

I am finding myself unwilling to jump the gun on interpreting this baby here. It seems like there is a message coming through that sort of needs to dissipate through sub-conscious reflection and conscious conversation. I had forgotten about the dream until I was in the toilet during the morning routine, and having put on some Bob (which frequently makes me sing) and returning to jog down anther dream I remembered -”Singing” and the chesty feeling of chanting – “There was something about singing” and in that instant the memory of the dream came back to me

Nothing recalled.