side notes

My sleep has become very irregular and my dreams have become very mucky and difficult to comprehend as of late. This doesn't feel like my typical dry spell.

I think that I mentioned at least once before what seems off about my sleep, but I'm going to go into detail and talk about it once more. For some odd reason, I've been very tired when I go to sleep. Usually, (ever since I started lucid dreaming) there is a sort of waiting period for falling asleep. Like I didn't just lay down and immediately pass out until now.

I don't seem to have my natural awakenings any more, (or any discernible sleep cycle either. I recall before this began happening I would frequently go to bed at 10:30 or 12:00 fairly regularly I would have one awakening at about 3:00am and another at about 5:30 before awakening at 7:00.

Waking up is probably the worst part of it. Now I'm no early bird in that I'm usually not motivated to get out of bed, since this new sleep pattern emerged, I feel downright miserable when I get out of bed, and it seems like I want to just stay in bed all day. (One morning last weekend, I slept from about 10:00 at night until 11:00am the next morning, and still felt absurdly tired after sleeping 13 hours straight. However, about half an hour after I do manage to get out of bed, I rested.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night dying of hunger or thirst, or desperate to use the bathroom. Something else that I am not accustomed to happening when I sleep.

The though definitely the strangest part of this is the way that I dream. My dreams have been, for the most part, fragmented, indescribable and extremely mucky. (Really the best way to describe what I dream of is just madness. There is, for the most part a lack of any logic or reasoning.) But that's not the weird part. The weird part I recall getting lucid several times each night, though due to the fragmented nature of dreams my lucidity is usually lost very quickly.

Whatever shift has happened to my sleep cycle, I wish only that it can be changed back.

-Dream 1

Had a dream that I had a big brother. There was some chick there that he "respected" but wasn't dating or anything like that.

I think some chick got shot in the head or I got shot in the head.

--Notes
Going to get back in to the swing of things dream wise. I like the goals I have made for myself, this year.

Sleeping and recall problems this night.

(Details a bit sketchy this morning)
One For You, One For Me
I'm inside somewhere and I'm spraying some kind of chemical onto it. Certain sprays have different results to the plants. I'm hearing someone mention them to me as I spray them onto the grass. I think about Dope plants as he explains about all the different sprays. I decide to spray the stuff into my mouth for some reason, I don't recall it having any taste. It dawns on me soon after that this stuff probably isn't the best to be ingesting. Either I figure it out or someone mentioned it to me. I begin to freak out and spit what ever I can out of my mouth. I notice my hearts skipping beats as I monitor it.

I'm at my old house in Merinda Park and the phone rings. Someone picks it up and talks to Lois who was on the other end. She was asking if I was interesting in going out for dinner, and that herself and husband wouldn't be attending because they have dinner in the fridge that needs to be cooked. I felt as if they could have work around it and maybe have their dinner for lunch that day.

I feel like it will be a good idea to go to the dinner as I will be able to get to know some of the people better. I think they were from my school. I remember chatting to someone? Josh's future mrs?

I'm inside somewhere and there's tables. I see Josh's future mrs there.

Side Notes
Even though I feel groggy upon awakening, I deeply and completely accept myself. (Seemed to do its job for me)

I recall my dreams upon awakening....I d
I remember my dreams upon awakening.... I d

Had some recall problems this day.

The Chosen One
Im on a beach and I can see a old style ship. It's decent sized, estimating at around 20x10. They seem old school in the way they operated the ship. It was all powered by man power. Two men were rowing at the front side of ship, and the controller was around the middle. Majority looked of Asian descent. I must have got there attention. I had a talk with someone on the ship about something.

I'm now with another male, being lead by a female. We reach a house and I'm chosen out of the two of us. I'm unsure what's going on at this point, but start to realize that I may be able to have sex with her. We're in the bathroom and I really need to have a poo in the toilet. Eventually she leaves the bathroom and I get to business. I make sure I spray near the toilet as it smells pretty bad.

I'm walking towards the lounge room, where I see her on the couch, I've gotta mention that she's pretty good looking and I want to please. I begin doubt my performance, and panic that I may blow my load too quickly. I see her with a blanket over the top of her and decide to start from the bottom to the top. I'm naked at this point and begin to suck her toes, but I seem to have trouble doing so. I seem to be rubbing my face on her foot instead of sucking on her toes. Some sucking and some face rubbing going on. I think about mounting her and tease her a little.

I see either another female or the same one i was with, not sure. It seems that another scenario, like the one I was in where 1 was chosen, except both guys were chosen by the looks of it. They seemed pretty happy guys.

Side Notes
Even though I only remembered 2 dream last night, I deeply and completely accept myself, and i remember all my dreams tonight

Even though I forgot to recall majority my dreams upon awakening, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I recall my dreams upon awakening tonight

I think I need to simplify these mantras in a different way, but will continue with them for a while.

Had a massive anxiety attack when waking up throughout night. Also felt as I was going to choke when I swollowed. I did some EFT which took the edge off the anxiety.

(Details are sketchy due to going over notes to late)

Charlies Kitten
I'm seeing this crazy dude, he seems pretty unstable. He ends up going into a cell.
I'm looking at a naked female on a chair. I soon realize she is a transgender as he begins to hump some kind of bird cage looking thing. I only got a quick glimpse of the bird cage and I was anticipating when he would reintroduce the cage again.

I'm at a random location inside somewhere. I can see my cat Charlie up on his scratching post. He sees me and begins to get off the post, but I quickly walk over to him so he would stay on it. He eventually jumps down. I notice a small kitten, it must be Charlies baby. Its a lot smaller then it should be. Charlie rolls over onto his stomach, and I place the kitten near his stomach so it could feed. I look over into the poach that's connected to his post and it seems worn down, to the point where I could see some plastic thing sticking up. I fill the poach with some powdery substance, with a bit of laundry powder. Either someone or Charlie was telling me that I shouldn't do that, but I did it anyways. Charlie said that's how he's done all his pregnancies. I noticed that there is more kittens around Charlie, and that they're bigger then before. Dad mentioned something about only being able to have 2 kittens out of the litter.

Nat Mc Decision
I was at someone house playing poker with Nat Mc, and brother was watching. At some point someone decided to go ALL IN against Nat. She wasn't sure what to do, and asked me for advice. I told her he played the hand well, as there is a flush on the board, which would beat her hand. I said I would fold, but said to go with your instinct. As I said that, she instantly calls and ends up winning. I had a feeling of not liking that I was wrong.

I'm messaging the guy that has to do with horses ?Name?. I can see a man standing on his horse? I begin to think of asking him what he was up to for new years celebrations, but didn't want to ask cause I hardly knew the guy and he would think I was trying to organize something with him. I can see UFC spoilers, and I try and avoid it.

Side Notes
Even though I remembered one dream last night, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I remember all my dreams tonight.
Even though I forget to recall my dreams upon awakening, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I recall my dreams upon awakening tonight.

I remembered to recall upon awakening once or twice, but not straight away.

Beautiful Yellow Eyes
I was walking inside Main Street shopping center. I felt a bit uncomfortable because of I was wearing pretty average plain clothing. I noticed some others were wearing average stuff, making me feel much better about myself. As I was walking through the shops, I saw a girl (preggers). She was walking near me, and seemed to be looking at me, maybe even saying something to me. I ignored her and just kept walking as if I had not noticed her.

Some girl stopped me in my tracks and asked me something. I think she was looking for a new boyfriend or sexual partner. As I looked at her, I was drawn in straight to her eyes. They were beautiful, having a nice yellow look to them. I straight away said "wow, u have amazing eyes. Ur hot". She was decent looking. I think I put my arm around her and walked towards a shop where you could eat. I find myself hearing that she likes men that are endowed. I look towards the wall at a bit of art work which has writing on it. It's talking about an elephant and its long trunk, referring to long penises.
We seem to become distant from each other and she goes and starts talking to other men. I see her at a table talking a darkish skinned man. It looks like he has a turban under his hoody. I have some jealously at this point and think to myself something on the lines of "she won't be happy being with a Muslim man".

I'm at the same place but sitting at a computer. As I'm doing Internet banking, I feel or know she is looking for a wealthy man. I start to feel sorry for myself because I'm on benefits and don't have a lot to show for myself. A few people come over to use the computer I'm using, which makes me have to move myself off the chair onto the floor. I felt intimidated, but did nothing about it except be a push over. I see that there is 4 or so people at the computer, a few guys & girls. The person nearest to me was a guy. He seemed like a bit of an asshole. I over heard him say that the girl that has the yellow eyes was a gold digger, which confirmed for me that it was true. As we all used the computer, there were hands everywhere over the keyboard, typing whatever they please. I jokingly said about this to them. The computer seems to be an ATM also. I try and withdraw a decent amount of money. I remember stalling a little and I think my dad may have got frustrated. I figured it out quickly. As i withdrew money, the previous people that had used it left their money in there. It made things confusing for me and i panicked. I grabbed all the money and was going to sort things out by myself because majority of money was mine and I wanted to make sure things were right. A man of Asian appearance was thinking it was some what suspicious and wasn't sure about me doing so. The people's money i had were standing in the distance at a counter. My intentions were to get things right and return the money to them. I remember counting my money and freaking out. At first it looked as if all my money wasn't there at first, but as i continue to count, it seems to be adding up I think.

I'm now sitting near the old police station across from new station, counting my money.

Side Notes
EFT - Even though I only remembered 1 dream last night, I deeply and completely accept myself, and will remember all my dreams tonight.

Need to use an EFT for recording dreams upon awakening.

Ecstasy
I was with friends at some kind of a bar, which had pool tables. There were people that were near the pool tables. I think they had just finished playing. I could see three pool tables, which were all a different height. I was looking to re-rack the balls on the table, but as I started to do so I noticed that some of the balls were not balls. They were odd looking and small. I don't think all the colors and patterns on the balls were on them either. This made me confused when trying to re-rack them, but Chloe H came over and did it herself for me.

At some point I noticed I had an Ecstasy tablet in my hand. I handed it over to my brother, so he could halve it, but ended up having trouble doing so. I have the tablet in my hand and notice that it was broken up, and I decided to halve it myself. The tablet looked off. It was shaped like a small potato chip, which had been broken untidily. I decided to have half, and give the rest to Chloe. I kept anticipating the drug to kick in throughout the whole dream, but never climaxed. I may have felt a bit of a change in feeling though. I was intending to get high and have sex with Chloe.

I'm outside with my brother and Chloe at night time.

My brother walked over to Chloe and held up a sign in front of her. There was something written on the same in gold letters. It was my brothers way of showing that he was an undercover cop. I believe my brother did this because I hadn't made a move on Chloe. This situation pulled me into saying that I was an undercover cop too. I felt like I had betrayed Chloe.

I'm now at a table inside. She's eating something nice, and offers me some. She leaves the room and I decide to quickly check her phone for anything that led to her wanting me. She entered the room as I put down the phone. She was suspect on what I was doing. I tried to act calm, and walk over to her for a chat.

Dream Fragment
1) I was at my house and was standing in the kitchen. Rob asked what was the smell. I think I had poo on my hands or something along those lines.

Side Notes
EFT - Even though I can't remember all my dreams, I deeply and completely accept myself, and will remember all my dreams tonight.

I have currently some problems with my dream recall. My memories from three last nights are just void. I don't know why. It was starting to get better and suddenly... I hope it will come back.

Sunday had a very lengthy LD series for me! I am loving this!!
Sat, 23 May 2015:
*another good "any moment could be a dream" example! I am towards the back of our house talking with my wife and son I remove some coins from my pocket and drop them in a small pile of coins. I don't believe anything strange or dreamlike happened at all. I believe the trigger was simply what I have been reminding myself throughout the day in my day practices, that any moment could be a dream! I I'm thinking along those lines and I decide to see if I can float up and I can and I start flying. I fly over our back yard and think of locating Girl Friday. I reflect on how much it felt like I was completely in the waking world before I started flying and I thought for a moment what if I'm just visualizing this so I look to see how crisp the visuals really are and I definitely realize that they are too solid to be visualization and I am happy but the dream visuals are not fading as I'm flying but I do decide I should slow down just in case. I see a house up and to the left and I decide that will be where Girl Friday will be. I drop down to the window and look in and the house is completely empty. I try to look away and then back in but my dream starts fading and I end up back in bed. #328



Sun, 24 May 2015:
Quick notes but also waited half the day to start recording my dreams. I did create a quick mnemonic device to remember the various scenes but should have recorded more details right away.
-something in big long indoor warehouse and I realize I can just fly, I am dreaming and I take off flying and a circle back around to continue flying in this indoor scape this fades after a little bit to me trying to stay in the dream realm, wandering through the void and hopefully into another scene.
-school classroom I am looking for a seat. there is 1 that's part of the double desk like all the others but someone is already on the other side but I have no choice as I see the other desks are all full. Hug my good friend intimately and tell her it must be weird for her but I really like her (semi-lucid possibly).
-waves to 4th story splashing. We are standing on a rooftop 4th story and waves come crashing over

but mostly just risking getting a little wet as most of the waves don't make it up there. we go down and we mention what's happening with the waves and a lady says that's why they don't allow structures to be built on top of cliffs. Upon waking, I reflect on how I missed the dream sign.
-complex: we're trying to go up in elevator I believe for floors once again the elevator entrance is packed and there's a long line and I see a side door labeled stairs and say let's just go up the stairs but when we open the door it's an entrance to an elevator and I wonder if this is a service elevator we go in it anyway and it stops at the next floor which feels like the one where we saw the long line and a bunch of people try to cram in. one person gets out but somebody else gets in but the doors won't close and me and my friend say let us out he gets out first but people are still in my way and by the time I get out I'm having trouble finding him and I'm going through these halls and I see some random guy in a lab coat. I start to call out for him but then I realize that this is a dream scenario and I decide this will be cool to explore this huge complex I seem to be in. I go through different passageways through big wide halls. I start thinking it would be nice to run into a beautiful woman in here and wouldn't you know around the corner comes a beautiful if not somewhat girl next door with longish curly hair brownish blonde. I reach out for her and tell her you are the one I've been waiting for, we have been waiting for each other and we start making out. I decide to bring another female in on the action and a sexy female appears in a black outfit. She has short black leather shorts that are very tight and sheer black stockings with high heels - also black, and a tight black top.

She has dark brown hair and when I tell her I want her

Spoiler for sexual content:

to lick my mate's p***y

and she gets very excited and gets to work. After we had our fun I started exploring the complex again. At one point I see something cool through some glass windows

but no door so I decide to phase through. It seems to be working but then I get stuck in the molecular structure of the glass and then into the void but I'm used to this situation and know it can lead me to a brand new scene.
-mall I'm excited to find that I have arrived at a very busy 2-story mall full of plenty of DC's to choose from!

I walk through the crowd looking for as suitable mate. I see one cute girl walking the other way in a very crowded pathway and try to get her to stop but she is resistant and keeps walking the other way. I keep looking but it seems most of the DC's are either too young or too old . As I am passing the food court it gets particularly crowded and I'm squeezing between bodies of people and I decide it's time to float up above the crowd. I fly over all of the DC's looking for a beautiful mate and I get to the edge railing and look down and it looks more interesting on the floor down below.

I sweep up over the railing and down to the floor below but the visuals start fading so I float back up reaching for the railing hoping visuals will come back. I wake and adjust my position in bed and reflect on my dreams. A little later:
-construction I end up in a building that looks like it's under construction

and there are a crew of guys testing fire sprinkler system and I can hear them feeling it up with water. I hear the sound pipes make when water is rushing through them . I go different ways into this building to see if there's anything interesting but it is kind of drab so I start looking for the exit and there is one which it's like a big long covered porch open air. I start flying through this area to the outside which is a city scene. there are some trees and some hills in the distance but the first thing I see is a sign that says something First Baptist Church. I fly forward and I can hear some voices behind me and I look back and I can see for figures taking off flying from the same spot I did coming up behind me

so I slow down to greet the first two to arrive.
they are to younger girls and I ask them who is that behind them. one says that is our protective father. their father is flying with their young sibling in his hands.

He looks like a big ,strong, foreboding pale vampire with light hair maybe white or gray but I have no fear. I wake up shortly after. I woke and repositioned to a more comfortable position between several of these LD scenes, so I am counting 3 LD's. #329-331

This felt like I was in the dream realm for a big chunk of my night! I wake up feeling like I have lived so many experiences in one night much like a lot of my recent LD's with the G+C combo (8mg+500mg).

I can't recall what dream goes with what night since I haven't felt the need to post. A combination of lousy dream recall and the fact that my DJ is becoming ridiculously big has to do with that.

I recall a quite elaborate NLD where I was touring rural china on a bus. There were all sorts of absurd things on the bus such as people with chickens and goats. Though I got off at the wrong stop and got left behind in some random village, where I found an exact duplicate of my own house from home.

I went inside, but I was followed by twin criminals/bandit boys who I fought with martial arts. I remember I was trying to call the police since they were stronger than me and I couldn't fight them off.

Now these next two dreams were both 'Lucid' in the fact that I knew that I was dreaming. But I still didn't feel like I was all there. Kind of like lucid dreams that I sleepwalked through. Something feels off about the way these LDs were, so I'm not counting them as proper LDs.

The first dream involved conflict with some sort of monster. If I recall correctly he was called my someone a 'Lucid Demon' He was all black made of armor plates and spikes and had two long flail like weapons and chains. He kind of had cartoony proportions with huge shoulder plates, a broad, bulky chest, and a tiny head, but was made of real-looking material.

I was fighting him in third person perspective. It was a really intense and destructive battle and we were punching each other through houses and I was using my fire to its full extent hurling huge swirling red and blue fireballs at him. (Shame I couldn't be more lucid than I was for that kind of control.) I think I beat him eventually.

I got more lucid, but I still wasn't perfectly lucid or completely there. I was now in my parents' bedroom. The walls were painted orange though. Manei walked in and tried to feed me some kind of chocolate truffle she had on a plate. I told her she should eat it instead, she deserved it more. I also said something sarcastic about not eating enough chocolate in WL. She ate it then started trying to tickle me. I told her to stop bothering me because I thought the lucid demon might come back to life and attack her.

^You see this really irritates me that this can happen to me sometimes where I am interacting with my dream guide and mentioning waking life, but I am not properly lucid.

-Another Day-

The other lucid involved me flying around on a magic quilt in my neighborhood. (The Quilt is actually one very specific one that I have in my closet right now.) I was flying around my own subdivision where the woods trail is.

I came across these two douchebags. (Literally they looked just like douchebag type of characters, with shutter shades, baggy pants not pulled up all of the way, a shirt that said 'YOLO', you name it, they had it. So I have every right to call them that.)

I became lucid and the magic quilt lost its power and fell on the ground. I caught myself in the air and started flying on my fire jets and impressing the DCs. I could tell they were looking for a way to insult me, but it's kind of hard to insult someone who is flying around on a column of flame.

...

I was trying to get the characters to become good people by talking to them while we walked together on the woods path. But these little white dogs appeared and started barking at me when I tried to talk. I tried talking and telling them to be quiet to them (knowing to some extent that it was a dream and that I should be able to talk to animals.) But they kept barking and started trying to bite me. I tried to swipe them away by moving my hand over the spot in my field of vision where they were, but they didn't go away. I woke up from frustration.

Thu, 21 May 2015:
1st feel transitioned to dream but float to confirm. Slow! Yes. Darkish. Wife gets out of bed and goes to toilet. I wonder if she did in waking and go in front of toilet and dance around to see if I get a reaction. Not really but she looks up and either she has no face or it is blurred and hard to make out. Shortly after back in bed needing to turn over.

Later after a WBTB, I get comfortable. I feel I have transitioned again but when I make a small move to get out of bed it feels like I risk moving my waking body and waking up. I try to float again but nothing and then I mentally push my whole body towards the right front corner of my bad and my dream by jumps up on to the corner of the bed! I walk out of the room this time and out to the loft

and I think about my day time visualization: floating up and then over the loft and I do. I float down to the landing or ledge where we could display items but we don't. From there I float down to the floor. I get some audio of my son asking me what I'm doing but I know it's just from the dream I head to front door and I walk out. Before I walk out I can hear what sounds like a crowd of people outside and I like that I will be able to walk through the crowd and pick out some beautiful DC's! as I walk out there is a crowd and I find one girl.

Spoiler for sexual content:

Stick it in her mouth

and then I think how I wanted and planned to go about things like this more consensually. I cross the street and there are 3 women wearing choir robes like you might see in church. I think about the church connection but continue over there with my dirty intentions. I look at them with the look that I know they all want a piece of me and one by one they go to work

Spoiler for sexual content:

on my ahem. They make it grow larger and larger with the skillful pleasuring using their mouths and tongues and one of them comments how big it is getting. this goes on for several minutes and at one point I notice that one of the women has a vagina on her lower stomach. odd but not freaky, as I reflect how I am fully aware that this is all my dream. I talk about how one of them needs to get on and take a ride

and there's a little girl nearby that approaches and starts crying. I decided I had enough and switched to consoling her. I no longer felt like I was naked but neither did I put on any clothes or really consider this. I tried to commit to memory what she was saying as she was crying but that part is gone. She hugs me back as she cries.

I walked back to the other side of the street and there was another woman crying a little more gently, whereas the girl was more sobbing. I was going through the dream details in my head to better commit them to memory when I felt what was a false awakening but I wasn't sure at first. I was back in my bed and my wife was playfully touching my arm but then started tickling me under my arm and I kind of moan like she is going to wake me up but I tried to feel if I was still asleep and decided that indeed I was. I did an in dream wild again (like earlier in the month) closing my dream eyes until a new scene forms through my closed dream eyes or maybe I open them up gently but either way I was in a long room not very wide but plenty of space. There were a number of pieces of equipment to the end of the room in front of me and this pilot or astronaut in a suit

like a pressure suit and there was a small one man rocket or flight craft that was warming up its' engines

and pointing towards the ceiling though there wasn't really a ceiling or a sky but mind you this all felt very indoors. he gets down from the rocket contraption having started the warm up process and is talking to me and something in my head makes me wonder what they wear under that suit and he hears my thoughts and unzips his outfit and shows me that he is naked underneath. I see his penis and everything. he's zips it back up and continues to prepare. I look back towards the part of the room I was in before that was basically behind me when I was facing the astronaut guy and my son is sitting and doing his studies and back towards where the astronaut was there is now a TV and something risque is on TV. it seems to be some r-rated version of MTV where some chunky lady is walking around without a top on. I start to lose a little lucidity here as I wonder if we should change the channel but after a bit I realized it doesn't matter regaining some lucidity. I start thinking about how it seems like the scene is going on for a long time and I start thinking about my goals. I jump to memory peg number 5 and after a bit of a scene fade I find myself standing over my wife

who is sitting in a chair in our dining room. number 5 is the smell task of the month and I remember how I smelled her hair earlier in the day freshly washed with a nice scent to it and the dream seems to replicate the scent but it was a little more faint almost as if the dream accounted for the time that has passed since the fresh washing of the hair. I then think about how I reset memory peg number 2 back to the lucid dare to become a tree and I start stretching out my arms like the branches of the tree and my feet down like the roots and I get the sensation of my torso and arms growing and expanding upwards

but I'm not too sure how much of a tree I became with no mirror around. I then thought of memory peg number 6 and this is the talking to the monster under your bed for task of the month. I decide that there is a bed just ahead and I walk that way but I don't see one and the dream is fading a bit and I decide that I will just arrive back in bed, my dream bed and then I can get out of bed and talk to the monster from there but it doesn't work and I soon find myself back in my actual bed needing to urinate but I stay still and try to reenter the dream but eventually realize I am too wake and need to relieve myself before trying anything else. when I go back to bed I do get a lot of great visualisations that seem to take legs which like in my previous LD aftermath several days ago I wondered if I might be in a dream state with the amount of effect I have over what seems like HH's. very long lucid series! 8 milligrams of G + 500 milligrams of choline. #326 & 327

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Sat, 16 May 2015:
SSILD: maybe I was already asleep because when I thought I was still trying to get to sleep, I was noticing how the things I was imagining were folding into my HI's. I was having unusual control over them or influence of the HI's so maybe a short NREM stage. I lost track of my awareness though until a little later.
I am in a home setting that is unfamiliar when I look back from waking perspective recording this dream. I'm in a family room and my son and his girlfriend and others are there including members of my extended family. At some point I seem to be losing clothes and end up in my underwear. It seems like my son's girlfriend is trying to go look at my junk bouncing around in my underwear. I don't want my son to see that so I move behind the couch. At one point everyone starts looking at me like I did something wrong and my first thought is what did I do? But then I realized this is a dream scenario! I am dreaming! My son's girlfriend comes over to me as I'm sitting on a chair and leans over me and I can see down her blouse . her breasts seem smaller than in waking life, though I'm only guessing, because I've never seen her naked of course…except in dreams that is. The previous one with her started off non lucid and I felt so guilty! Some of those feelings came in here but I mentally reminded myself that this is just a dream. (Memory gap) we are driving in the van with openings between the two front seats and my wife is getting frisky

Spoiler for sexual content:

reaching down into my underwear

and this cute lady in a short skirt is in the backseat pretending that she is sleeping but I can see her eye slightly peeked open. I think of her joining in and regain my lucidity . (memory gap) I'm in a new house and there is a lady actually it's the same lady from the backseat and she has a baby in arms and a little girl who is maybe 5 to 7 years old. I talk to the baby and wonder if I disturbed his sleep. I have lost my awareness again. ( memory gap) she's going home and she is outside of her door holding the baby carrying something else and trying to deal with her little girl and I asked her if she needs help. she says sure and brightens up her smile and tells me to come on in!

this is when I realize I'm dreaming again and get my awareness back. she is sitting on a chair and her short skirt alluringly and the kids are now gone. start

Spoiler for sexual content:

taking off my clothes and running my hands up her skirt and removing her blouse. Some level of sex

before another memory gap. A guy brings me outside and wants to show me something. We take off flying. He says we are passing over England and Manchester City. I look over at him and it is my son.

We are flying together high up in the sky. I wonder if we are high enough that I can see the shape of the British Isles and after moments of looking for it I am suddenly in a blank space with a solitary standing elephant-dude figurine. Primarily colored in soft blue and white.

Several memory gaps, perhaps my awareness work needs to be stepped back up during the day and have come to rely on the G + C combination which I did not take this night. I really wanted to be lucid tonight because I wanted and natural lucid dream before my next G experiment the next night. On the other hand I am hopeful that this could be some sign of "breaking down the wall" that Thomas Yuschak speaks of. #323



Sun, 17 May 2015:
*Longish dream+DILD: we are in some foreign country, possibly India and I am waiting in our vehicle at a small airport drop off area and the doors are locked but after a little while people start trying to open the doors and before long many people are trying to open the doors. one guy gets in and then lets another in and soon the truck is packed. It is like a van sized SUV. One last guy crams in and I thought he was going to sit on top of me or something but he went crawling to the back. I was in the front passenger seat. one of the guys that got in started driving. He seems to be the patriarch of this family and he is driving too fast and I told him to be careful driving so close to the other cars. I asked him what is going on, why is everyone so frantic? he says that the Muslims want to vote (so I assume that they are protesting and rioting). I think to myself why were they not allowed to vote? This goes into a false awakening where all of the people in the van and some additional people are in a big room sleeping and people are starting to get up and wake up and I notice how dark it is. I asked couple of girls near me why is everyone getting up? What time do you go to bed? And one answered sometimes 12 or 1 and then I realized I asked the wrong question. what time do you usually wake up? and she answered around 8. I see a clock or somehow know that it's 6 a.m. and I ask why is everyone getting up at 6 a.m. then? No answer, but some one by the window says but there is an aurora borealis happening right now. I say "well I'll get up for that!" I go to the window where they are peeking through the blinds. aluminum style 1 inch or 1 and half inch blinds. I look up and all of the clouds in the sky seem to be glowing a little bit but I don't see what he's referring to at first and then I notice the lower set of clouds closer to the horizon are glowing more so and the colors are undulating. As I look more, it gets more impressive!

I say out loud this must be a dream! Somebody sees react like yeah yeah. I try to look at my hands but it is too dark in the room although it does look like there is something about my hands I moved to the nose pinch RC can do it several times to be surebefore I think about starting to mount various women in front of all these people. I'm able to breathe through my pinched nose and I lookout after night display some more. it is so beautiful! Let's start shooting back and forth across the sky along with a laser gun sound effect that is interesting but the lights are so beautiful! After a while of looking at it i turn my attention to looking for a suitable mate and walk through the room passing several girls that are too young including a little blonde girl . I see a beautiful girl, probably 20's, holding the hands of two younger girls and leading them into a room.

Spoiler for BEWARE-negative schema (but resolved). NOT sexual content:

I go in as well and the door closes and I turn around and they're gone and it is like a small closet with the walls painted yellow. I think about the podcast I listen to last night and it seems to plant a seed have negative things happening sometimes in LD's but I stay calm. I open the door I'm behind the door is just a yellow wall like the rest of the closet and I try to avoid thoughts of being trapped and

I decide I will just fly up through the roof and I do! This leads me to a series of different scenes all seemingly underground with no windows but some more interesting than others. one was wide open and what would look like maybe a big space station somewhere on a planet perhaps

and I spend a bit of time flying quickly through there enjoying flying indoors. At one point I came to somewhat of a dead end but there was an opening that led to a very dark hallway and I wasn't interested in exploring that way

so I turned around and flew some more and eventually I fly into another scene. This next one was full of DC's. They all look like military or worker guys in dark blue jumpsuits

and I think about how in the podcast Sensei talks about how in some place, some powers don't work and sure enough here I don't have all of my normal dream super powers. I take a few swings at two of the guys and they kind of laugh at me. one guy takes me by the arm almost as if I'm being arrested or at least taken out of there. he's a boisterous guy that seems like a bit of an asshole . we look across the room and theres is a guy dressed a little differently, dressed like a movie star in casual attire. the guy who grabbed my arm says that guy is an asshole. As we approach I feel like messing with them and I start to say hey this guy says you're an... But the guy fills in and says something like yeah he is a whole lot of something trying to playoff what he really said about him using words that sounded a bit like what he really said, "a whole." I chime in and said no he called you an asshole. I think I'm forgetting some parts but at some point I feel myself back in bed and with a strong urge to reposition myself off of my sore left shoulder. After trying to stay still for a few minutes I eventually have to turn over and maybe I waited too long because my shoulder is still sore. It was worth it though! #324

empowering non-lucid: Water park amusement park bathroom mini golf. Guy kicks my wife. I fight him though he is bigger. Guy says they will break up fight if I get off him. I do but guy starts fighting me again and I quickly break his neck with head twist.



Mon, 18 May 2015:
Later driving into fancy neighborhood #lostMyWay trying to find my car parked outside. Became a covered area suddenly from aerial view (map?).
Go into a big resort like place and try to pass through to get to where we are heading. #Wife #son security system starts to drop down as if I am not authorized to pass but moves back up as I back away, then down again as I approach. Finally a flying droid thing stays with me until #security arrives. He holds a fork like stick to my balls while questioning me. Must you? I ask. Later they let me go and with family back inside car and I think about how dream like that was...why didn't I RC? I should now! Hands hmmm...look away and look again
..yeah I just counted 6?...hard to see one of my fingers!Nose pinch yep! Tell family I'm going to take off and fly out of car a little and see youngish girl reminds me of one I saw that day. I walk up and I remember my plan to make it feel okay and remove any negative thoughts and ask the girl (brownish blonde, more blonde) to take off her clothes.

Spoiler for Strong Sexual Content & language:

She takes her time easing onto my c**k. We have sex for a while. Wife and son looking at one point. I brush it off, they are only DCs. I even tell my wife you like watching me f**k this young one, don't you? I think as I am doing it that I should make sure I don't carry this fantasy over to waking life and say something like that to my wife during sex or when feeling frisky. I lightly squeeze and rub the girl's nipples and she is kissing me a lot all over so I pull up my shirt which is only thing left on me with the idea that she can lick my nipples and she does almost instantly.

5-6min count as 5 for contest. #325

Late am btb: HI's to quasi dreams? Very good fantasy visualizations with GF and C and friend. Later even said time to RC...hand look 3 times but then quickly felt back in bed so didn't count as a separate LD.

Although it is too unclear in memory to thoroughly journal it, last night I had a lucid dream that completed not 1, not 2, but THREE tasks that I had previously set. In the dream, I was outside (TOTNLD Go Outside), picked up and uprooted a very large tree (TOTM Develop a Supernatural Power), AND when picking it up and dropping it, sunk a couple feet into the ground due to the weight and threw tons of dirt into the air, respectively. (TOTW, Dig a Hole). On top of that, I almost completed half of my TOTY by almost being able to swing the tree over my back and onto a house (TOTY part 1 Commit a Crime with a Supernatural Power). Also, I would like to share my strategy for developing super strength in dreams, at least for the use of lifting a heavy object. I first grab the object (as for the tree, I had to hug it to grab a large enough part), close my eyes, try to lift, and then as soon as I feel a lifting sensation I open my eyes and due to momentum, I am now able to lift the object.

Task 1: Pick up a tree again, Develop better clarity.
Task 2: Punch someone out with no effort.
Task 3: Destroy a large statue with my bare hands.


Feeling: