side notes

1. Something disturbs me, and I get up and go look out my bedroom door just as someone comes in and passes me by. I see nothing out in the hall and turn back to look at the person – but there’s no one there.

Then I realized that I was awake. I don’t know if the whole thing was sleepwalking or if some part of it was a dream.

Inspiration: Probably from my door creaking because of the wind and me being paranoid.

2. Editing Kyou Kara Maou! on Goodreads.

Inspiration: Was thinking about how the KKM! light novels weren’t in the MyAnimeList database and wondered about Goodreads.

3. Me and Rane follow someone into a waiting room of sorts. I’m wearing a long skirt and a sleeveless, light blue denim shirt I think. I lean against the wall as Rane sits down. She pats the seat to her right, the only one of the four along that wall that’s available, and I go sit down.

I overhear someone talking across from us, something about a young girl (around 16) being engaged, and I see she’s obviously not ready for it and shake my head mentally. She had dirty blond hair in a ponytail.

Then a dog comes up to me and I greet it like I’m familiar with it. Only it turns away when I try to pet it. But then I see another dog and think that must be the one I know. There’s another, bigger dog as well, and I decide to just pretend to ignore them and let them get to know me at their own pace. They’re all brown-haired, two are coarse-haired and one is long-haired (the bigger one). The last one comes over and smells my hands in my lap and I let it without moving. When I think it’s okay, I move them to pet the dog but it moves away.

Now we’re standing at the door out talking to the man we came with. He’s asking us what food we want and gives us two options. The conversation is a bit vague, but Rane decides she doesn’t want the one, but instead ‘Cesserian food’. Mentally I’m a bit ‘hmmm’ because I don’t know if I’ll like it.

Jump.

I’m in a room where someone is cleaning up stuff, there are papers with things written on them lying around and I realize some of it might be important. I go over and grab my dream journal and a clipboard with papers on it.

I’m in a bathroom that looks like the downstairs one IWL. I need to go but it’s totally clogged/gross and the seat is broke. I try to flush it but it doesn’t take care of it fully. I decide to try another one.

As I’m heading upstairs, I decide to go the bathroom up here; I know it’s always clean.

Jump.

The man had given me some kind of item that was supposed to be a convenient way to transport yourself around.

I was scrubbing at this pillow with a rag or something until I thought the area was big enough to use. Then I pressed myself down onto it and waited to be transported. …But nothing happened. (I was expecting to sink down into it and reappear somewhere else.)

I remember getting frustrated before because I dribbled water down a little black and white notebook with words on the pages.

I was annoyed and went to tell mom about it. She told me a bit about how it was supposed to work, and that you can get a marker that works for 2000 strokes.

Inspirations: Thinking about going through mirrors and transporting through water. Thinking about my aunt and her husband. A mix of a story mom told me about my uncle. My aunt going into labor last night and mom leaving to go be with her made me think about waiting rooms.

I’m sitting on the end of a bed playing Pokemon on the TV across from me that’s on a black dresser - except I’m not using a remote, but my mind. I keep thinking that I need one to do certain things, but push on with my mind.

I end up being able to do things I wouldn’t otherwise, like flipping over a wall and getting ahead to a town I wouldn’t have so soon otherwise.

(I get déjà vu while thinking about that town, feeling like I had a similar dream before.)

A guy comes in to talk to a woman who’s behind me somewhere, and I get self-conscious about my state of undress and discretely either put on a shirt or pull it down over my chest. May have been wearing what I went to bed in.

Jump.

Some bulky guy is trying to help me with a problem with Jazzy, I don’t want to have to do what he’s suggesting but it may be the only way, and I just want to help her.

Jump.

I’m flying along a quaint path with forest on either side and sometimes fences. I want to fly faster and suddenly realize that I can make that happen. ‘Faster, faster!’ And I do, almost going too fast as I get close and personal with some of the fences, but I somehow manage to avoid crashing by rolling away midair and such.

Inspirations:
-Saw someone else mention Pokemon in their dreams , but I also swear I remember seeing a post about it on Tumblr that made me think of the latest games.
-Last night I had a funny conversation with mom about how dad was covering up his chest after taking his shirt off. I wasn’t wearing a bra under my shirt and it got me thinking about male vs female top nudity.
-I wish the flying part was more clear in my memory ugh it looks like so much fun. I usually get lucid and then take off flying.

2. BL manga style dream.

Spoiler for Sexuality:

Two guys who are a couple are making out, and the slightly taller one didn’t mean to take it so far (the other guy had somewhere to be soon) but next thing, he’s preparing him for sex. But he doesn’t get far-

I feel like the shorter guy was some kind of religious figure. One of his fellow people come in to let him know it’s almost time, and he sees the taller guy who has dark, short hair leaning over the other one with light, tan short hair and just ~stares~ deadpan as the couple freezes.

Jump.

Now the fellow person is leaning over the shorter guy, checking his ass to make sure he’s not damaged.

”Why do you have to do that? The whole reason I came here was to get away from stuff like that.” He says.

Inspirations: Definitely inspired by an ABO (Alpha-Beta-Omega dynamics) fic I was reading last night where a omega male becomes a priest because male omegas are rare and treated badly, so he starts up a shelter for people like him, but alpha males come and take that away, and he later meets someone and falls in lust/love with him, plus the style comes from BL manga which I read fairly often. It was probably in the POV of the top because that fic was in the POV of the alpha.

Yesterday:

1. Editing a series of books on Goodreads.

Inspiration: Before falling asleep I wished that I’d edited more stuff on Goodreads that day (I’m a librarian there).

2. Signing up for Ragnarok Online. Four love interests were shown, two guys, two girls. Second woman looked like the mature type with a mix of light & dark grey hair.

Inspiration: Saw it mentioned somewhere online.

3. There was another character introduced, they were trans and had really long white hair.

Inspiration: Sa-Ryun from Ability (webtoon), was editing pics of him that day and thinking of how some people thought he was a woman. I think lady from 2 inspired 3 which was inspired by Sa-Ryun.

Notes: The last couple of nights when I wake up early with a dream, I find myself thinking about it until I fall asleep again because I don’t want to forget it (even though I’m prioritizing sleep over recall). I noticed that those dreams sometimes end up effecting my later dreams.

2015-03-12

Turns out it was a pretty epic night of dreaming. LD #104 is definitely the best of 2015
and perhaps rivals my September 2014 TOTM LD in awesomeness.

01:30 bedtime (WTF!? come on, 2.5 hours late)

visualization of lotus flower w/flame in throat chakra for a while wall falling asleep

Unknown dream times, mental only recall (no recordings until 09:13 after LD) multiple wakings up to WBTB time

+ I almost mess up a stakeout with repeated offers to give the bad guys more cash after the initial contact

In an outdoors area with parked cars, I'm one of the good-guys in a stakeout against bad guys: I hand cash in entrapment scenario to bad guys, they take it. Comes a question should I give more: I walk forwards offering more money to the bad guys, but my colleague quickly motions/says "no" and I realize that, having already taken the initial money, if I offer more and they accept then by law the bust would be nullified.

+ (f) people in an outside park-like area with a tall tower?

+ wife drives off the edge of the highway, I go DO, the car rolls, she's OK, inside a mechanic's shop?

Driving in car with wife (wife is at the wheel) on highways, I see that we're approaching a large turn to the left and there is no barrier off the right edge of the road, there's an abrupt drop to a long sloping hill doing down to the right. I say to wife "Careful! Look out for the edge!" Instantly the car veers and the right wheels go over the edge. I'm now DO flying behind and above the car following it as it leaves the road, heads down the hill, rolling over several times. I'm in a panic about my wife, screaming and zooming to the car to see if she's OK.

i'm in some internal location (mechanic shop?) we're talking about (our?) car(s).

+ picking up (wife?) at airport on crowded holiday in foreign country, taxi guy gives me advice, walk with him, path turns dark and woodsy, he pees in the dark off to the side, Americans are camping up on hillside starting a campfire & I hear them practicing <foreign language> words.

I'm heading to the airport to pick up (my wife?) It's incredibly crowded with tons of people coming and going, because this is the beginning of <this foreign country's> vacation period. I meet a taxi driver who is telling me about how to use a taxi to (fool the traffic?) to be able to approach the airport.

We're walking down a road, it's night time, there are dark woods with leafless trees/tall shrubs off to the right, the guy goes off into the dark trees to pee, I keep walking, I wonder if he'll rejoin me or not. The road ahead is dark and uninviting going off in to the forest. I notice up the high, fairly steep hill to the left about 15 feet off someone's starting a small campfire, and I hear children's voices, they're American tourists practicing some local <foreign language> words.

06:45 WBTB
1x 4mg galantamine (Galantamind)
Back to sleep
Takes about 5x "20 down to 1" counting of relaxing breaths to fall back asleep
Major success: focused only on relaxation, rejected thoughts of waking/work/life concerns, made it back to sleep fairly quickly! Could it be I'm finally mastering BTS?

09:13

+ (LD #104) I'm lying in bed on my stomach [same WL position I think] with ex-GF SB. I'm looking at, modifying with my finger a picture of people we were in grad school together with, "Oh, I've erased T.A." I notice/say at one point. We're lying close to each other she's on my left, we're falling asleep, I lift my head up and kiss her right cheek near her right eye, this annoys her a bit because it wakes her up. I lift my right hand up and place it under her left cheek, this also annoys her a little. Just continuing to lie there, she drapes her right leg across my butt, it's a lightly erotic sensation, I like it a lot.

Her foot approaches my face from the right side, bottom first. I think about "having sex with her toes" and insert my finger between her very tightly packed toes. I then notice that the entire bottom of her foot is covered in a white fungus. "Oh! You have athlete's foot just like I do! You need to scrape that stuff off with a scraping stick, and get a pedicure." I'm standing up now next to the bed and she's looking at me blankly like she doesn't want to acknowledge this. I head to the bathroom, then walk back to the bed, SB has pulled the covers up over her head. "Dang" I think, I was hoping for some sexy time, but she's going to sleep.

I notice in her mouth is some sort of tooth tray/mouthpiece. I think this holds the teeth in the proper position for sleep. Looking again at her I notice she now has a transparent horseshoe-shaped brace supporter running down both sides of her face. I mention that this reminds me of a childhood toy, the magnetic yoyo that so fascinated me as a kid:



All of a sudden her braces structure appears on the bed: clear plastic trays on each side, and in the middle a number of metal wire pinball-chutes with metal pinballs moving along on them. Some other object also appears suddenly on the bed (forgot).

This jolts my awareness, and I say s.l. "OK thats odd/dreamlike" and I do a nose pinch. It's inconclusive [I'm lying on my stomach in WL perhaps, nose pinches are less clear then] I say, "OK, if I'm dreaming, I'll levitate now" and lie down on the floor of the room on my stomach. I look down and see that my upper body is hovering over the ground by about 1/2 inch. I'm now fully lucid. I stand up and whip out my (ahem), which is pleasantly dream super-sized, in order to present it to SB for attention, but she is gone, the bed is empty. I think about looking for her/summoning her, but abandon this idea quickly. I look and see the door to the room [it's like a small motel room], see the doorknob, and decide to head outside.

I open the door and head outside, it's night outside and I'm in just my underwear. I move my attention to feel for the temperature and detect nothing, so I'm completely comfortable. I think of goals and notice that the building here is like a two-story motel in a "U" shape. Some of the rooms have open doors, I decide to enter one for TOTM basic (II).

On my way in to the room I remember my rehearsed LD acronym: BE STRONG [Breathe, Enjoy/Engage, Stabilize, T[private, the name of my LD "mascot"], Remember, O[private], Narrate, Goals]. I start with B[reathe] and I take several breaths, perhaps the first time I've ever consciously breathed in a LD other than for nose pinch, it felt completely natural.

I enter and open room, and it's half-lit and entirely empty: not a single piece of furniture and the walls are entirely bare, no decoration. It's sort of run-down looking. It's a small two-roomed area, a front room with a short narrow corridor leading to the back room. I enter the room and head to the back room. As I'm walking I remember "S[tabilize] and I start rubbing my hands. I really feel the warmth and rub them for a little while. In the back room, I remember "T" and briefly visualize my mascot appearing but nothing happens.

I leave this room and outside it is now daylight, the area has opened up and there are small buildings in the distance and a gently sloping hill before me heading down and to the right. I remember TOTM basic (I) and reach into my right pocket with my right hand and feel for a capsule, I feel one and bring it out, it looks like a small white tic tac. I swallow it and call out "REVEAL TO ME THE TRUTHS OF THE UNIVERSE!" with arms upraised to the skies. I wait for a few seconds, nothing comes to me and I move on.

As I head down the hill to the right a guy drives up in a 70's muscle car and gets out, he's sort of threatening looking. I decide to take charge of the dream narrative and call out to him in a firm, demanding voice, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY GIRL, 'GILDA'!?". He's a bit shocked and looks at me with a puzzled expression.

There's a TV screen/painting on the ground to our left, in it are depicted 3 bad guys. (Two males, one female?). They have deteriorated/painted faces. "Man," I say, "they look terrible." I decide we must fight them, this guy and I. We dive into the TV and emerge in their place [too bad it wasn't a mirror….hmm….no, don't think it was, dangit!]. I immediately reach for my lightsabre with my left hand, and ignite it. The beam is weak/highly transparent, but I wave it around and get very accurate sound, I'm pleased with the sound. Not much of a fight, I just wave the lightsaber around a bit, things are getting vague, I decide to leave, and turn off the lightsaber.

Leaving the building I immediately remember my long-term goal of facing Sensei in a lightsaber duel. I ignite my saber again. I start calling out "Sensei! <Sensei's name!>, come on!" I'm walking towards a garden, I hold my hand behind my back and expect to feel Sensei taking my hand, but he doesn't. I call him several times but he never appears.

I'm marveling at the quality of the dream environment. I'm trying to detect dream-like artifacts and cannot detect any. It is an entirely convincing rendering of waking existence. The green grass on the lawn, the textures of the dirt and the ground.

At some point in this sequence I see an open field and think of TOTM bonus, but I don't want to mess with zombies so quickly move on.

I see beyond the grass some people on horses. The dream slowly fades to grey, I try to hold it but it ends.

Back in a dream, similar woodsy environment, I see two girls sitting down on a bench, one is "Lucy" and has short dark black hair, looks boyish, but I know it's a girl. Two boys approach from the woods and say they've found <some guy's name>.

I bit in the distance I see a (picture?) of a doll-sized girl. I'm interested and go to her. I command her to become real and to grow to real size. She becomes 3D and a bit larger, I give her a quick kiss. . Around this time I'm fully lucid & realize whas going on and I say "be larger, more real!" and she gets a bit larger and more realistic, I give her a longer kiss, but her lips are still cartoony & not waking realistic. I say again "larger! More real!" and I think she gets a bit more life-sized and realistic, I decide to stop and just make out with it/her because her lips feel good, and do so for a few seconds before waking up.

+ parking meters, ethnic banquet, cruising food table, not much food left, "my friend" recommends his ham rolls which are excellent

Outside on a street, we're trying to figure out where to park. Parking meters line this area of the street. I look at them and you can only use them for 2 24-minute periods, this is not long enough for us.

Inside a building there is a <ethnic> banquet. I walk along the long table, there is not a lot of food left and what is left looks not all that appetizing. Down towards the far end there are some little triangular cabbage pies that look not half bad but a middle-aged guy comes up (I "recognize"/"remember" [false memory] him), and he directs my hands to his meat rolls which I try and they are indeed quite good.

+ spying into neighbor houses with telescope, enter and see the two ladies there in the kitchen

I'm sitting outside on the left side back steps of my childhood home. I have a small spyglass and I'm looking down the hill with it. I'm also looking left into the neighbor's house. I see a woman come to the window and don't want her to see me looking so I put down the glass. Suddenly I'm inside their kitchen and see two young blonde women sitting at a table, some adult is milling around them.

+ throw something down on to my friend MR who's sleeping down in the garden in the dark [he signals me?], woman asks me to teach her son soccer, I decline and want to go back to sleep

I'm on some high balcony, several levels down below me on the back lawn my friend MR is sleeping in a sleeping bag. I can't see him well, it's too dark/foggy. I think at one point he's moved to the left. I throw something down as a prank to land on top of him (a small pebble). I'm looking and looking to try to see him but don't. At one point I think I see two small lights (like animal eyes reflecting in the dark) but I'm not sure.

A mother comes to me with a small blonde curly-haired young boy and wants me to train him in soccer. I don't want to. I say come back later and roll over in bed.

+(f) more people, places, situations….forgot

Yesterday:

1. A horror story type dream with a group of people. Some of them have to be sacrificed. When ‘I’ realize that one of them is going to be next, I say ‘I’m sorry’ to her. She bleeds down her body and the blood goes to someone else. There was a skeleton? And a man in poor condition ends up being healed. Then he goes in a room with someone?

2. Something about a group of people, one of them named Caerwyn

DST and waking up an hour early messed me up.

Today:

Anime-style dream with anthropomorphism. The style was kind of moe.

Two girls are on an ‘island’, but it’s like a desert area. They’re talking about how people throw the wrong kind of chocolate out for the girl on the right because they don’t realize she can only eat the softer kind that has ‘LOVE’ written on the colorful little wrappings.

A third girl lands/appears and walks close enough to hear them. She hears mention of the word ‘penguin’ and thinks they’re talking about her. She seems like a tsundere type in the way she acts. She angrily dives into the conversation asking why they’re talking about her, until she realizes (is told?) that the girl on the right is a penguin too.

Inspirations: Been reading a webtoon about anthropomorphic animals. It doesn’t have any penguins in it though!

Backlog: 5 March

Average wakefulness, I do my best to fall asleep. I get some very strong and bright visuals with a fast transition into the same room. It gives the inital impression of seeing through closed eyes. I examine my hands for a while, then get up and go to the other room. The dream ends.

I wake up, then have a couple more wildlets I can't recall.

A more coherent scene, now it looks like the dream leaves me somewhere outside on an unknown road. I pass by a small gingko tree and end up in a forest area where I address the dream and express my happiness about being here.

My mental clarity improves and I recall the task I wanted to do today - walk in a house and describe what's happening. There is a lonely tall house in the midst of all the trees and I head in its direction. It has no windows just a single old door that I try to open but cannot figure the direction. It's supposed to be pushed but there is resistance, so I decide to pull instead. It doesn't work because it is stuck. I think about our recent conversation with bemistaken how she would phase through the door, but I don't want a drastic scene change at the moment. I hold tightly the door and pull it. It looks like a door, but at the same time now also looks and peels like a large piece of wallpaper.

And surprise, surprise it reveals just another door. Ah, the typical dream bug! I briefly wonder about the feedback loop causing this and try again. I peel another door to reveal yet another door behind it. Oh, come on! I am not thinking so much about this. Got to concentrate on expecting what is behind the door, yes, it is opening to show the inside of the house. I punch a hole in the now somewhat solid door and pull/peel it to finally reveal the entrace. Yay! No more doors! I get inside. To my disappointment, it's an unpleasant looking place. A completely empty place with creepy stairs going down to the basement and up to the next floor. I start going up the stairs when the scenario worsens and see a kid rush towards the only small window in the place. It appears to be running away from something and I don't want to find out what that is. I decide this is enough for basic and head towards the window. I soon wake up.

I deild (3 more scene changes), having some fun after running out of tasks to do.

Backlog: 28 Feb

On the whole had a very restless night, trouble falling asleep, followed by emotional nlds. Later got woken up and ended with insomnia.

My wakefulness increases to daily levels and I am ready to get up, seeing no point in being in bed anymore. Yet, I know how groggy I will feel later on so have one last effort to catch some sleep. I try the classical wild plus relaxation tips with the sole purpose of falling asleep at this point. There is a specific pleasant sensation in my stomach. I try not to move but have to change positions several times due slight discomfort.

Finally, a bright scene flashes in front of my eyes so I know sleep is near. I even concentrate and make another one appear, whilst still having awareness of my physical body. It's like being in two places at once. The scene is fanstastic. I find myself flying high above the sea and green lands. The water looks fantastic. I can feel my dream body flying while being in bed and as it floats and is about to flip over the scenery.

The sensation is cool but difficult to maintain and input from my physical body takes over and I find myself back.

I continue to do my best to fall asleep. I find myself in another dream looking at a mirror. I am happy to ascertain that I have made it to the dream. "I'm in", I tell myself out loud while looking at my reflection in the mirror. My reflection doesn't quite move in synch with my words so I make some efforts to synch, but not to much avail. Then I notice my breath and just feel the need to breathe as if I am having some difficulty doing so. I spend some more time breathing in and out and watching my reflection as the dream interrupts and I find myself in bed.

Asleep, some short nld part, then another dream scene on the playground.

On the playground, which bears resemblance to this real life place before it morphs. I climb onto a playground structure and look around. There are a number of DCs as well as dogs mostly immobile at this point. I slowly move my gaze from one DC to another and then from one dog to another examining them. Everytime I do so, they turn and pay attention to me to. It's like I can feel my attention as a gust of wind animating and being reflected in each DC. This is quite cool. At this moment, I also notice that there is a warmish wind that also connects all of us and is gently blowing from direction or another. It feels really pleasant.

I try to remember any tasks and recall the basic for March - find a house and get inside. I look over to the street and see an old entrance door to this building. It looks far away but I decide to give it a try despite having some doubts about dream stability at this point (due feeling). To reach it, I have to first get down from the playground thing I am on. I jump and try to slow down my fall not to cause extra instability. It works somewhat but also rotates my vision introducing slight instability. At this point a classmate comes down to help me, looking rather concerned. Her face is reddish on some places as if from mild sunburn.

I look ahead to where the street is, where I need to cross to get to the entrance gate. The place morphs and now I find myself on an elevated fence looking over the street, but the edge of the fence is out of reach due to there being trees in front and also lots of thorny shrubs. This infuriates me and I decide to cut straight through everything. I find myself in the midst of all the shrubs piercing me and causing overall pain as the twigs are everywhere. This looks super realistic and I take a moment to examine myself. It just doesn't feel right me pushing through all of this vegetation at all costs, seeing an old cardigan of mine being torn in the process and all this pain. I conclude it's against my philosophy and decide to take the side road to reach my goal.

I gently move away from the thorns that block the way and turn to the other side, which has once again changed and is now a nicely looking forest. It's a dark green vivid color and the trees are close together as not to allow any sunlight through. I notice some interesting looking plants to the side and wonder whether to investigate. Still having my goal to find an alternative road to the house though, I look around the forest. "I almost lost myself in a forest in a dream", I think. The forest now reveals an invitingly looking path that stretches all the way ahead. I examine it with curiosity and excitement, trying to see what is at the very end - looks like a castle very far away. At this point I recall CL and how it could be a good moment to zoom in right over there, but before I could do anything, the dream ends.

I stay still and deild.

Find myself inside a house and a store at the same time. There is some political scenario going on and posters on the counter in front of me. The lady DC behind the counter is unhappy with the actions of the local supermarket.

While walking around I try to recall some of the totm tasks. I wonder if having ended up in a house now would count for the basic but I discard the idea and struggle to remember other tasks. After some effort, the mirror task finally comes to mind. Ok, need to find a mirror, didn't I just pass one by? I go back to where I was a moment ago and face a man-sized mirror. It changes from being clear to being covered in vapour just like it would in the bathroom (first time this happens in a dream, probably because I am trying to do a task!). This irritates me, but I go ahead and wipe it up a bit to at least see my face clearly.

Then I stand in front of it and slowly prepare to move inside. Being a bit apprehensive due to wall phasing experiences ending up in the void, I keep my eyes open and keep staring at its surface as I take a plunge in. The moment I do so, the mirror swallows me letting out a loud underwater like sound "Blop". It's pure liquid and shows no resistance. I quickly emerge on the other side, looking around to see where it has taken me. It's overly dark but I can make out the contours of objects around me and they become clearer to finally reveal that I am in a pantry sized room. It looks exactly like a pantry with shelves and all sorts of objects being stored around. I make a mental note of it, soon the dream fades.

Im not sure if this place was pulled from memory or created. I was in what looked like it may have been a gymnasium, or some sort of recreational room. only half the floor was there and it was the waxed wooden flooring you see in thos kind of rooms. there was a wall in the center dividing it into two rooms with a small doorway in the wall connecting the two rooms. in one room two people were talking, including someone who was doing a project with orange paint. me and two others were in the opposite room taling about layout or something. anyway, one guy in the room i was in wanted to show us his idea for flooring so he walked over to the wall and flipped a switch. the part of the floor that was not built, had a sheet of orange paint canvas/plastic start sliding out to cover the open floor space. the other DC that was in he room exclaimed that it was the painter in the other room who owned that paint/paintings. The painter heard and was going to come over but the dream changed course a bit. the lighting changed to a dull yellowish light, like from an old light bulb, and all of us decided to paint the floor orange, and put some purple stripes. (orange and purple, i observed these colors while studying olivine under a microscope in cross polarized light earlier that day, outside of the dream). i wanted to paint orange, and walked over to the wall of the room where paint was kept. they were not in paint cans though, they were in big weird chapped buckets. i grabbed a brush from the purple paint and washed it off to get orange but my roommate's alarm woke me from the dream.

In another fragment i was hearing how i had to get an "okay" from our house manager before i could keep the towels i hung around my bed to block out light from the bright exit sign. (I set this up for the first time right before i went to sleep and had a dream about it already being there).

early:

04:50

+ CS got fired because he broke the build with a one-character change (an exclamation point) during a critical demo; I'm making myself breakfast in the open kitchen (ice cream/Cheerios, tall guys)

I'm walking through an open area/office, I encounter CS. He asks me if I've heard that he got fired (by the CEO) after he made a one-character change (adding an exclamation point to the code) (I'm thinking about this a long time after waking up, about how CS should have done proper testing before submitting his change!).



I'm in a kitchen, looking for breakfast. I open the freezer and see a number of open ("freezer burn, yuck") very colorful ice cream containers. Across the room a very tall [DS] guy drops a box of Cheerios on the ground. I pick it up(?), pour myself a bowl.

later:
(Awake until around 08:00?, just can't sleep, take 1mg melatonin around 6am)

09:10

+ (LD #102) dazzlingly vivid/bright huge (5-6 stories, 100 meters long) memorial structure: trying to read the huge inscription so I can remember it when I wake up; fly up to top of structure, cement french fries; sex with giggling/slightly objecting girl "there are not nice people here"

I'm outside, daylight, the visual quality is astounding and my memory begins already lucid. There are lots of people milling around. To the left is an enormous open area, and I see there a Huuuuuuge memorial structure, about 5-6 stories high, 100 meters long, with Huuuuge lettering on it. I try to read it and pronounce it and really really study the lettering so I can remember it after waking: it is stable, but it doesn't seem to be recognizable words. There is a larger first line and a smaller-font second line below it. I'm astounded at the clarity of the structure, it is perhaps slightly orange and made of stone.

I fly up to the edge of the roof of this structure. I want to summon a girl(?), I get in my hands instead a cup of what seem to be cement french fries. I start sucking them a little bit. I see a girl to my right a bit, I go to her/bring her to me, and

Spoiler for explicit:

initiate intercourse. At first it's abstract and some other people appear to be helping to spread her butt/legs, but it gets clear and she's dressed on top but bottomless, we're in a doggy/reverse-cowgirl position, I get a clear view and can feel it. She's sort of giggling and half-objecting, and says s.l. "there are some not good people here!"

+ (LD #103) (long, lucid at end) See "people I know" in family room [false memory], trying to decide whether to take a shower with a girl upstairs, go downstairs and leave (think about threatening to kill the guys who will tell on me) to garden, at end of garden start flying & get lucid, magical blue sky, green grass, apple tree, return through neighbor's garden to original garden, it's raining hard now, wake up.

I'm walking through (my?) family room, a downstairs room, and see leaning against the wall a man whom I recognize [false memory] as a friend of mine, I walk a bit farther and see a woman I know to be his wife also sitting down against the wall, "Relax, guys, rest!" I say. I walk back the other way to the start of the room and see a third man whom I recognize as a colleague (of the first man?) and also greet him.

I walk up a (spiral?) staircase and I'm on an upper floor. There is a glass shower stall there and there's a girl taking a shower who wants me to join her. I see a young man lying in a bed near the shower and sort of recognize his fall (its distorted). All of a sudden there are about 20 guys milling around and I want to get them all the heck out of here so I can join the girl in the shower. I manage to shoo them all down the stairs. I then take off my shirt and slacks (I'm in dress clothing), and am about to enter the shower (the girl in there is clothed?) and realize that at any second my wife could walk in, this is way too risky, so I get dressed again. I go up to the shower and say "well I can wash your back I guess," (I'm concerned I may get wet), and she says "buuuut I waaaaant to *seeeee* yoouuuuu!" (so I think about getting undressed again?) at some point she's out of the shower and we kiss briefly and there's some sudden transition/shock.

I'm walking down the spiral staircase, at the bottom I hear the guy I saw on the bed by the shower gossiping to another guy that he saw me with the shower girl, and I think about going up and telling them I'll kill them if they talk. I say "Let's go!" (I want to get out of there fast).

I'm walking through the garden, there are lots of objects there, I must walk over them. At the far end of the garden is a lovely place, green grass, a small barn/large shed, trees, blue sky, and I decide I want to try flying just a bit, and I put out my arms and to my amazement I glide/hover above the ground and realize I'm dreaming. I do a nose pinch and I can breathe. The garden area is *beautiful* the colors are vibrant. I see a stunning apple tree with green green leaves and red red apples, amazing against a blue sky.

I start returning to the original garden. There is now a large neighbor's yard in the way. I'm thinking of girls. I see that there is a celebration in the garden, there is a line of "hoops" on my side and a guy is making a running/sommersaulting dunk (basketball) move. I see that the women are middle-aged/portly/unattractive (in the distance). I decide I should just go back to the original garden because there are a lot of people there. I walk through this neighbor garden and apologize for the disturbance, and say it's too far to go around, they say that's fine. There's a guy swinging a bat at a ball and he says careful or he may hit my head.

I move through a fence into the original garden and someone from the neighbor group comes with me on my right. There are tents here in a covered area, and he puts his foot through a canvas tent, ripping a small hole in it. I say "be careful of their tents!". I see that it is raining very hard now, and say in a foreign language "this started suddenly", and I am lifting up tents to get through and the dream ends.

10:30

I think I slept again, but no recall

Like the title states i can not recall today. I woke up still tired and out of it and moved a lot when i woke. there was a few images in my head but they are gone now. part of it is catching up on sleep from last nights WILD. i feel rested, but still tired. i did not remember waking up at 4:30 AM like i have been doing a lot recently. i think it is my body too tired and catching up on sleep. tonight should be better though!

I had a weird past couple of days and my recall was off for one of them. I'm starting a new exercise routine, and I think it's messing with me too so while recall is really important to me, exercise is even more so, so no more waking up during the night and typing up dreams until I get a bit more of a handle on the exercise.

Also, I highly recommend an RPG-based habit-forming site, HabitRPG. It's helped me a lot with my goals and remembering to do things!

March 7:

-Vivienne (from Dragon Age: Inquisition) is a villain in a group with two other people.

-Something about betrayal. And Tsukiyama (from Tokyo Ghoul)?

-Me and Nicole(?) are riding around on a motorcycle(?) together.

Inspirations: Mom’s dream about motorcycles. A Tumblr post with Vivienne that I noticed because I thought she looked sad. Some Tsukiyama posts I saw.

Today:

Creepy dream about Dave secretly having a crush on me and acting, well, creepy. I get onto a computer and see that he has a messenger up talking to someone about it/me. I don’t get a chance to see much before he’s coming back. I hurriedly shut the laptop lid and leave. As I’m walking away, I realize he’ll be able to tell what I was doing when up opens the lid.

Non-lucid, Lucid, Comments

.../I have to take my flight back to my current city. I'm with my brother and I'm telling him how different it is when I fly alone. There's one minute left before the plane takes off and I'm still in the waiting room when I tell him if I were with my wife she'd be stressed like hell. I see the plane is about to take off and thinking how are they doing with my package. It doesn't matter, I know I'm inside that plane before it takes off.

There's a jump back in the sequence of the dream time and get back to something about a disgusting guy who I ended up murdering for the second time. I have a knife covered in blood in one hand and a tea spoon in the other. I feel the urge to get rid off both of them but I must be careful because of I start to see police officers everywhere. I clean the blood from the blade with my tongue, I don't want to use anything else because of it may let clues. I hide the knife under the sleeve of my jacket and the spoon in the pocket. I get inside a sort of pond under a roof. The water seems to be deep and dark enough in some places. I throw the spoon there taking care that no one sees it. I see an adult woman sniffing around. I think she may be a detective or some. I hesitate to throw the knife. I think I must find a better place to get rid off it. I see some officers started to dig on some of the ground near the pond. Definitively I want get out of here but I don't want to call their attention. I still feel the blade with my arm. I wonder if the sleeve is funny shaped because of the knife. I follow a guy who did something similar but he doesn't seem to be worried at all. He tells he got rid off the knife near his neighborhood which is far away. We are drinking wine and vodka. I'm drinking my bottle of vodka while I'm still thinking about a place where I could leave the knife when a thought flashes in my head: "Hopefully when I wake up all of this stress will be over". I realize what it means and feel slightly stupid for the waste of time. I still have the knife in my hand but now I don't care about where I could let it. I finish my bottle and let it on the floor. A dwarf starts to follow me. I get into a store and stab him with the knife. I hear some DC's screaming. I don't care and let the knife in his back. I go out of the store thinking about what could I do now? I remember there are some lucid dares. I remember the dare about the alien invasion! I wonder how could I do it. I realize there was a weird mountain in the dreamscape which I didn't pay much attention. It's like a pyramid covered with pines. Now I see it looks like a huge Christmas tree. I think it could be the alien mothership. Then I wonder how could I accomplish the dare. I think what about a telepathic communication? I look in the back of my thoughts to find the invasion was already taking place but we humans don't have to realize about it. I "feel" they are infiltrating their people already. I send the message to stop it. Now? How could I know they have already stop it? I think this task requires a lot of imagination and I don't feel I have enough time to see a proper "war" taking place. I think I may give a try to another task when I see an athletic guy jogging on the road I'm about to walk. He could be one of the aliens I think! He keep on jogging. What was the other task? Now I remember, it sounds easier to perform! "Be a good person with the duck of the smile" (No idea where this one came from). I start walking on the road towards a forest when the whole dream starts fading out/...

March 7, 2015 First WILD!

Fell asleep at around 12:30AM

What i did before I went to bed, and during the day:
I watched inception before bed, in bed, and went to sleep as soon as the movie finished. I drank Bed Time Tea by Yogi tea company at around 9:00PM. Spent most of the day doing a lot of nothing. I was stressed in the morning over a bad test and missed assignment, and homework made it worse. I got better though. Spent a lot of the day building on a Minecraft server. I built a tower that was an educational center to learn a little bit about lucid dreaming. I read Sageous's WILD guide earlier in the morning.


The Preparation to Dream:
First successful WILD! also not only that but my first WILD attempt. Tonight i had a boost in confidence. I told myself It had been too long without a LD and assured myself tonight I will have one.I Woke up at about 4:40AM without any alarm and got out of bed to get a drink, use bathroom, ect. i only stayed out of bed for about 10ish minutes, and got back into bed. I was assuming i was going to fall back asleep after about 20 minutes or less, man was i wrong. i laid motionless on my back other than an occasional itch or two that disrupted me. i laid for a while and started meditating trying to get myself to sleep. i counted my breaths and paid attention to them carefully counting up and down from 10. I would start getting images in my head, "dreamlets" forming and playing out, but for some reason i would immediately snap to an awareness state and wake up a bit. no matter how hard i tried to make myself sleep I kept snapping to a state of awareness no matter how lost in thought I felt. I thought 20 minutes had passed since i last checked the clock at about 5:00AM, and saw to my disbelief it was 6:00AM! i had a few disturbances by people awake at 5:30AM for some reason and that added to it but i was up for an hour and 12Mins. I finally rolled on my side feeling somewhat defeated by my inability to sleep and promptly fell asleep, only i didn't just go to sleep.

The Dream Experience:
I thought i had merely past to sleep, there was a slight gap of nothingness. Next thing i know i was dreaming, in the beginnings of transcending into REM, stuck in place and was pretty sure it was sleep paralysis, as i have already experiences countless times. I heard a lot of strange sounds out of my control, and some scary vivd images. I instantly had awareness kick, like it had done all night while awake, and I knew I Had somehow made it! Right away 4 undead corpses were headed for me whilst still not able to move and they scared me at first until i told myself this is my dream I have no reason to be afraid. I finally gained mobility before they reached me, and i put my hand on them one by one and made them instantly vanish because i did not want them here.
I Paused for a moment, i had to think of what i wanted to do and did the first thing that came to mind and i immediately started to fly, but was very excited and almost lost it, my vision became gray and blurred, however, while still in the air I quickly started to rub my hands together in the dream bringing it back and successfully did so. when I landed it still had a blurry effect, also I don't know how to land from flying well yet. I wanted the scene to change, but I could not. I was in a very very dark, night time scene in a suburban neighborhood. flying over the few areas i did it was just a lot of houses, separated by white fencing, and plenty of trees. It was so dark though I could only see where the there were street lights and house lights, but there really was not any streets yet, just houses crowded together. I wanted to make a sunny scene but couldn't, I tried appearing at a beach but also could not so I just stopped trying. In fact other than making the zombies disappear I couldn't really change anything else. My mind was thinking very quickly, there was soo much i wanted to do but just could not do all at once. I would have one idea, then instantly jump to another. One thing my I tried to do but could not, due to not being able to summon DC or change the scene was go into "caveman mode". I knew its what would happen eventually but it didn't get to happen. I tried to find a DC to interact with. searched a few places here and there. I think i went into a few houses but honestly cannot draw any scenes in my head from them. One thing that did not surprise me until i awoke was one particular scene. While i was looking for the DC i wanted to see, I ended it up my old neighborhood from when I lived in North Carolina. Now i have not seen this place in years, nor have I recalled ever dreaming about it in years, yet here it was. Not everything was exact obviously. I went to a neighbors house there, and it still had the brick and concrete steps i remember as a kid (probably from falling on them once) and I saw my little brother and asked if he knew where this DC was. He said no in a confused manner. I looked out back at the houses and noticed more had appeared out in the darkness. I got up and went out into the street and thought what I wanted to see now but got too far lost in thought and lost control of the dream.

Lucidity is Lost, Regained, but too Late:
Next thing I see, I am already in another scene. I am at my grandmothers house in Connecticut, non-lucid now. i look out the front door and see 3 dogs that look like mine and let them inside, except another group of the same kind of dogs also comes in. i spend the next few minutes trying to get the ones that are not mine back outside. I almost get it and then i have another sense of Lucidity and become Lucid again, unfortunately i become lucid because i notice one thing, the dream is about to collapse. Though i think quick and go to rub my hands together fast before it is gone i am too late, and that thought of rubbing my hands transfers from the dream world to the real world and i wake up rubbing my hands together in real life! It i now about 6:25 AM.

I Fall asleep at about 6:50AM again and sleep till 7:52, 3 minutes before my Alarm to get up for my first Karst HydroGeology Field Trip. I only got around 5-6 Hours of sleep this night. I was trying hard to fight sleep on the way back during the van ride.

Goals and Progress:
about 25 minutes of dreaming and about 20 of them were Lucid! One of my goals was to have a 10 minute LD, and I Passed it. This was my first WILD attempt, and what a success in the dream world it was, it made the long painful night of fighting to go to sleep worth it.

Backlog: 26 Feb

I struggle to do a wbtb, stay up around 25 mins but sleepy and fall back to sleep immediately, wake up like 1/2 hr later with no lds.

Bathroom and back to bed, focus on having an ld by holding my gaze fixed ahead behind my closed eyelids. This seems to do the trick and I appear in a new scene immediately as sleepy as I am. It's mid day in the center of an unknown European looking city. I make some movements to adjust in my dream body. There is something like a scarf obstructing my vision and I struggle to take it off. I wonder if I don't pay any attention to it if it will disappear. The DC right ahead also has a scarf and is trying to show me how to take off mine. I finally swipe it to the side like a flock of hair and pay it no more attention.

I look around thinking what task to undertake, remember three, discount the next totm although it is also possible to do here and decide to go for Percy's dare: center of the Earth. I enter a building and head down the side stairs which should lead towards the basement and ultimately the center of Earth. On my way down, the stairs transform and become much wider and made of fancy stones. Like large flat stones in a hexagonal shape. It should be dark but the walls and the stones are lit by some inner blueish light like an inside moon, which makes them even more interesting. Behind me, I briefly see that one of the DCs from the street has turned into The Thing from the fantastic four and is following me. He seems more like a companion than a menace and I'm glad he is coming with me just in case there is something else down there. I continue down the path but the dreams suddenly ends. I try a deild and briefly see a cloudy scene that looks like a continuation from what's ahead but I lack enough focus to hold on to it and fully wake up.

I was in my home. I went outside, and looked around. It was grim, dark afternoon. The sky was overcast. I saw my family. Everyone was waiting for me. I asked what's going on, and they told me that we have to drive somewhere. We drove on a highway. It was really high above the ground. Suddenly, I found myself on the road. I looked around. It was midnight. We had a huge car accident. I don't know why, but something told me to run away. I saw that there's a sidewalk on the highway, but my way back was blocked by huge piles of sawdust. I climbed up, and ran on the sidewalk.

On the way I charged through layers of sawdust. After a while I heard someone following me. It was a group of my classmates. They were laughing for some reason, and shouting after me. I felt a little frightened, and I knew that they meant harm to me. I was running. After a short while the sidewalk was closed by fence and barbed wire. I knew that I was close to some kind of medical research facility. A top secret govrnment project. I was still escaping from the ambush of classmates.

Interpretation: The ambush composed of classmates might show that I feel somehow opressed and anxious around them, which makes me try to escape from them.

Notes: Its a recurring dream, but this time I ran away from the accident site, and ambush. In the past I was running to the accident site after hearing about my family. Also, no ambush before.