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Hi!

Before I tell you about my dream of snakes let me tell you about me & give a little context

I just turned 50, am happily, wonderfully married (for almost 25 years; thank God, my wife is the greatest blessing in my life; I must've done something really good in a previous time around), and am the proud Papa of two boys, 12 & 16. I like my job (same one for 20 years) and my dogs. I moved to Israel in the mid-1980s & have never even remotely considered leaving Israel. We are modern-orthodox. My family (back in the USA) is not even remotely religious/observant. I was raised de jure Conservative and de facto nothing. I decide to make aliyah & become frum when I was 23, a very sudden, bolt-out-of-Anatevka decision. (I was watching the film version of "Fiddler on the Roof" when I was 22 and completely freaked when Tevye said, at the very beginning, "Because of our traditions, each one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do." That was a slapshot to the head from 25 feet out. At the time, I had no idea who I was and that God actually wanted me to dosomething. I decided then and there to become orthodox and move to Israel. Don't knock it; if God could talk to Moses from a burning bush, He could certainly toss a hint my way from an old movie.) And here I am.

I've always taken a contrarian delight in bucking the tide. This long pre-dated my decision to become observant, i.e. orthodox, (see above); deciding to become observant was part of it & it is still percolating around now.

I've run into a religious rut.

The next-to-last verse in the Book of Ecclesiastes says: "The end of the matter, all having been said, fear [the original Hebrew means something more like "be in reverent awe of"] God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole person."

I have reverent awe of God & I do my best to keep His commandments but the enthusiasm & the fervor I used to have is long since gone away and I feel like I'm just going through the motions, clutching at forms even as the content is gone. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. I go to synagogue, keep kosher, keep Shabbat [the Sabbath], etc. because I have to and because I don't want not to. Sometimes I think that (since) everybody needs a code to live by & since this one is as good as any and better than most, I might as well stick with it. But is this it?

(Please feel free to Google or Wikipedia any term/place/word below that you might not get. I would have liked to put in links but as a newbie here, that's not allowed.)

The most interesting series of spiritual experiences I've had recently, if you can call them that, one that has started a whole host of confused doubts to percolate in my heart, was that on April 23, me, my wife & two friends drove to Kiryat Luza on Mt. Gerizim in Samaria to watch the Samaritans bring their Passover offering. (Mini-aside: I think "sacrifice" is a horrible mistranslation of the Hebrew word "korban", which actually comes from a root meaning "to approach" or "to draw near to".) I was impressed, very. Since then, I've been doing my homework (I've always loved doing research), reading up on them. While we were up there on Mt. Gerizim, after they lowered the skewered lambs into the fire pits (it's all over YouTube), we spoke with one young Samaritan from Holon (near Tel Aviv) who answered our questions & did his best to explain their beliefs & customs.

On May 17, my colleague/friend from work & I drove to Mt. Gerizim to visit the national park on the summit (the Israel Nature and Parks Authority English site doesn't have a link, the Hebrew site does) and explore Kiryat Luza. We parked right next to the area with the fire pits. I showed my friend the pits & explained how the Samaritans did their Passover offering & then we walked up to the park. We saw some of the Samaritan holy sites: Altar of Isaac, the Eternal Hill/Givot Olam, (see Deuteronomy 33:15, I crouched down and ran my hands over the almost flat stretch of rock, that was very cool; this is my avatar), and where Joshua set up the 12 stones, and took in the astounding view.

On May 20, I took the day off to get stuff done at home in the morning & then drove off to the Samaritan neighborhood in Holon (one cul-de-sac street that they're starting to outgrow) to meet with a Samaritan gentleman with whom I have been emailing. I parked opposite one of their synagogues which looks just like one of ours except for the writing in their ancient Hebrew script. We sat in his living room and spoke for several hours. I mainly asked questions about their beliefs & customs and how they differ from ours, and he answered. My host gave me a Samaritan calendar, a few copies of their community newsletter & a little notebook for children learning to read their alphabet. They've published an English translation of their Torah (side-by-side with an English translation of our text for comparative study); when I can spare the $50-60 or so for a copy from Amazon, I would like to buy it. In the mean time, I'm going to try and teach myself their alphabet so I can read their script (the newsletter is in modern Hebrew, their ancient Hebrew, Arabic & English) and, eventually, hopefully, their Torah in the original. He also invited to be in touch with him for a more personal tour of Mt. Gerizim (or "the mountain" as they call it). That would be cool.

I know that there are only about 760 or so Samaritans but the cool thing is that there are no Reform Samaritans, no Conservative Samaritans, no orthodox, ultra-orthodox or secular Samaritans, there are just Samaritans, all saying the same prayers, doing the same things, accepting the same spiritual leadership. This is a kind of unity and harmony that we can't even dream about in our wildest fantasies!! We're so f@$%ing rancorously divided among ourselves that it's nauseating; it's like God's words don't count ^ everyone just slangs on each other.

Up until last week, I had been merely wondering where I was going with all this, with my newfound fascination with the Samaritans & their similar-to-ours-yet-different faith. I still don't know. Sometimes the point of a journey is the journey itself and not necessarily one's destination, assuming one ever arrives anywhere. A traveler travels and I'm enjoying myself so far. There is a beauty in their unity and a purity and simplicity in their approach to Torah that appeal to me. Now, I don't know how much of this is one doozy of doubt with a good mixture of revulsion over our utter disunity thrown in. I mean is being an orthodox Jew merely my default program, and I'm borne along more by spiritual inertia than anything else? My, that's certainly fun & exciting (not).

So, I had a really weird dream last week. I usually do not remember my dreams but this one was very vivid & I haven't been able to get it out of my head/heart. I dreamed that I was bitten by a snake. I dreamed that I was in our old neighborhood & that a small greenish-yellowish snake bit me on the right thigh.There was local swelling & discoloration. I did not feel systemic symptomns. I was wearing khaki shorts & the swelling & discoloration could not be seen by anyone. I knew it was there, I could feel it, but I had to either hike up the shorts or take them half-off to show anybody. I remember thinking that there was poison in my system but only I knew it was there.

I relate this to my ongoing spiritual confusion & my fascination with the Samaritans. I know what the snake symbolizes, a la Genesis: temptation, doubt, etc. Why our old neighborhood? Because when my colleague and I drove to Mt. Gerizim that day, we left from there. (I left my car there & we went in his car.) The snake's poison = doubt, and that only I can feel it, that only I know it's there, the meaning of that is obvious. The doubt in my heart is apparent only to me; nobody else can tell.

My Samaritan friend has invited to personally guide me around Mt. Gerizim. I'd love to take him up on his offer but part of me is kind of afraid to because maybe I'll want to stay there (spiritually, figuratively) and serve God on that mountain. That idea, to serve God on that mountain, i.e. Mt. Gerizim, has been echoing in my head.

I always say that running from temptation is no good because if you run from temptation, it'll just follow you, you have to turn and face it, and stare it down, and tell it to f*ck off & show that it has no power over you. It is as if God has said to me, "You think it's that easy ZVBM? You talk a good game but let's see how you actually play." And like I don't know whether it's my good impulse ("yetzer hatov" in Hebrew) or my bad impulse ("yetzer hara", which isn't really bad per se as it is selfish & self-centered), or both, that's messing with me.

And what's really freaking me out about all this is wondering if my Jewish faith is this shallow that it can be so easily rattled? Or is my heart responding to some greater call? Do I have spiritual poison in my system, that I'm being tempted by the Samaritan version of our faith (as I'll put it) or is that my yetzer hara messing with me. I mean it's not like I'm tempted by, say, another faith completely, like Christianity or Islam, God forbid!, I'd sooner die.

Oh, and last night, I dreamed that I was some sort of spy, living in deception behind enemy lines. We live in an almost exclusively religious (i.e. orthodox) neighborhood here that is so square it hurts sometimes. Our friends & neighbors would freak if anyone realized that my interest in the Samaritans was anything other than academic.

Gagghhhh

Any thoughts?

After a long night I finally got a WILD.

#191 - 5AM-5:45AM - WILD/DEILD/OBE

I hit hard SP and had vibrations. It was a stuggle to transition and once I finally did the dream was weak and unstable. I couldn't see well and it was hard to walk. It's not that I had blindness or darkness, it's more like the dream state itself was weak.

First I rubbed my hands and could see them clearly in front of my face. It was not good enough for the rest of the environtment. I was shifty and blurry, fading in and out. I crawed feeling the hardwood and then some random carpet for stablity as I opened doors by reaching and pulling under the bottom edge. I finally made my way outside and as the front door closes behind me there is slience. I become dimly aware that there had been background noise like some sort of strange music.

The air was cool and had a slight smell of rain. I am walking now but the dream is still half formed. I call out, "HELLO?" noting the dream sound of my voice. It's always so odd.

I half wake up back to SP

I stay realxed and feel vibrations and hear that sound that I haven't heard in a long time. Again it feels so hard to do my normal transitions so I revert to just pure visualization. At first it feels like am faking it but it soon forms a full dream. I see my hands again and I easily made my way outside. I realize that I had been mindlessly pulling up segments of my front sidewalk and there is soft mud below. I remember my task to tunnel down to crystal cave so I do with it. The mud is so thick and dark that I am not really getting anywhere. I decide to make an opening by speading my hands and ripping a wide hole in the ground. That seems to be working but I half wake again.

I visualize randomness and find myself in a lying in log ride that looks like something from Silver Dollar City. I just go with it and wait it dosn't last long.

Back in bed. I try to move but can't. Wait no vibrations. Now, I don't know if it was bordom or menthol but I becan to visualize and form a full sexual fantasy to completion. I'll spare you the details.

I was back in SP again when I heard my son crying. That snapped me out of it.

Morning of June 17, 2013. Monday.



My dream takes place at an unknown home that I have not seen aspects of in a dream before. It is not up on columns as all the places we have recently lived have been, and it is also made of (painted in a lighter green) concrete blocks for the most part (most of the places we lived recently have been wooden houses). There are more cars and trucks, but in a sparser pattern and along a much busier road than in real life - with four lanes, and in a more commercial area it looks like. There are various items leaning against our house that a member of the public had put there, or perhaps several members of the public. I also even notice one truck pushing against a fence in the back, with the fence at a slight angle. This does not surprise me much at all in my dream, as a lot of people in real life in this region are well-known countrywide for very poor driving and parking skills.

The first thing I do is take a hubcap that someone had leaned against our house and happily and aggressively send it rolling away, as well as into oncoming traffic, although it does not distract any of the drivers. (In real life, just walking a short distance to the store, I often see a fair number of broken plastic hubcaps lying in the streets in various areas and on the sidewalk, but the one in my dream is metal - I even hear the “ringing” sound as I fling it and it rolls into the street.). I also pick up all the other things, including tools and car parts and a small toolbox or two that were touching our house and fling them out and some across the street as well. The drivers do not seem annoyed and nothing lands in their way, which is fine, as I do not want to get into trouble for causing an accident anyway. I am still annoyed by the cars along the curb, all looking as if they had been partly disassembled and had been worked on recently by a mechanic (or I should say, someone who only thinks they have competent mechanic skills).

Eventually, I walk around to the front and I see someone pouring concrete over the ground including near our garden (and probably eventually to cover that area as well), and ask him what he was doing and why no one had said anything to us. I am not angry with him, as he seems like a simpleton, seeming like a far more “sane” version of Curly Howard, but his work uniform seems slightly circus-clown-like (and I keep reminding him of that fact as I am yelling and using the word “you”, but then saying I do not mean “you” but who you work for). He says that all of the people in the neighborhood are getting this done, so ours was being done in addition to the people that actually ordered it (which sounds quite stupid of course) and was, by vote, decided that everyone “must” have it done - even without any notification. The reason is because the concrete will cover everything, including the grass, and supposedly allow for more ventilation and oxygen, which of course makes no sense at all. This last scene may still not be connected to the broken-down cars on the other side of the house other than the larger truck that was pushing on the fence, which I think was a cement-mixing truck.

---

Dry cement, gravel, and such, have been validated to be linked to dehydration. In one case, after being in an extreme level of dehydration, I dreamt about having clothes filled with gravel as well as another dream about a dry gravel road. I also have completely given up drinking cola (and soda in general as diet soda is even worse), which can cause serious health risks, even in young people. It took a serious health scare to break my cola-drinking habit.

---

In this dream I had made the mistake of accepting a job. It became clear that recently they had layoffs. There were two parts to the team: most team members were statisticians, and a few of us including me were parts inventory people. I realized that most team members in both parts resented me, and soon realized why. The layoffs had been of the parts inventory people, and then I was hired instead because I was cheaper, but I knew less and could not replace former team mates for many reasons. I quit the job. Told the boss, and she agreed it was a wise decision. She also said that as long as I could not talk the language of statistics the statisticians would not have respected me, but if I used a statistics term that's when the trouble would really start. I told her that I was just giving her an informal heads up, and not to tell anyone else until I gave her a formal written notice letter.

No recall from today's nap, i think i had bad timing with it...

Yep, I had a (one-sided) conversation with my brain and, when we make up sight cards and mantras etc surely it's our brains we're trying to impress. It was on the lines of

"I (mind) need you and you (engine) need me and I certainly can't do this task without you. I need your help in trying to lucid dream. I would appreciate it if you'd help me wake up 4.5 hours into sleep" (one of KingYoshi's golden hours) I looked at the clock and visualised 4.30 "Also, I'd like to wake up after every dream and also IN the dream...and helping me become lucid would be really appreciated."

I slept at aprox midnight and woke at 02.00...and grabbed the tail end of a dream. I know it was something *military...nautical I think, but I'm now more inclined to move when I first wake up and that may have hindered. I'm not helped by leg pains when I sleep (a circulation problem)

I got up for a while and had a weak tea then went back at 02.20 It took me while to go off again and I woke again at 04.30 (thanks brain) I moved again (leg pain) and even flicked the light on...then off quickly (more training needed there) But I grabbed some of this dream

I was apparently joking about a pregnant woman who was due to have the baby and I was saying pseudo-technical medical terms, finishing with "Cuprinol given." Someone else picked up on this and laughed "Cuprinol given?" (Cuprinol is a specialist range of wood paints????????) Sorry that dream was so un-PC ladies but I'm not controlling my dreams yet.

I did another WBTB after a small coffee and went off quite easily (unlike after drinking the tea) I think I woke again but there's nothing in my journal so I don't know what time or whether I dreamed.

So, I got my first insight into my early dream periods...something like 100 minutes into sleep...and I woke up 2 or 3 times...probably after a dream. But the dreams seemed weak and I'm not getting much in the way of vivid dreams lately. Ever onward

Well, jet lag has struck, no dreams for me then I guess.

Did not remember actually sleeping, so dream recall aint happening.

P.S. I think I nearly did a WILD, just couldn't fall asleep. I suddenly felt really good for some reason.

The dream started out with me and Captain Mal from Firefly/ Serenity getting into a pickup truck that I somehow knew was a time machine and we had to escape from an area. So, in the pickup truck we drove to my school, but it was abandoned and I wanted to see what it looked like in the future. I remember saying to Mal that I remember the school having financial difficulties due to budget cuts and that's why they had to close it.

Then it was like the pickup truck was on a roller coaster and suddenly I was at some kind of amusement park but I started to realize it was a dream and wanted to see if I could make objects appear. So I walked up to a man and told him that I would pay him 20 dollars if he could figure out which hand held a penny. Each time he would choose, I would drop the penny from that hand and imagine feeling a penny in the other. However on the third guess I couldn't make the other penny disappear and he started laughing saying that he never guessed that both hands held a penny. I was suddenly in my shower but the shower curtain was now a solid tiled wall and I remembered someone on this site saying that you can walk through walls in dreams so I closed my eyes and tried to walk through it but I couldn't get though it and banged my nose which actually hurt.

06/15/13
I laid awake, body still, mind wide open. I imagined a place where no one cared and no one judged. I stepped out of the court house (so I think) and onto a street paved with cobble stone. I looked around and saw no one and listened closely and heard not even a bird chirp. It was quiet enough, if a sewing pin dropped it would sound like bombs. I told myself this is weird and asked if it was real. I felt myself not really jerk but spasm into a lucid dream. I told myself I was lucid. I looked for anything to help. First a mirror. None to be found. Then a clock. Again none to be seen. Lastly a billboard. Here I had success. I noticed the picture was me and all the letters were mumbo jumbo, a mix of hyroglifics, and shapes. The initial shock of becoming 100% aware I was lucid woke me up. I have been unable to become lucid since but here is my next attempt. I am attempting to go to space and meet Neil Armstrong. Wish me luck.

06-13-2013 -- Earlier hints of a possible tidal wave on the beach and a sexy woman who may or may not be involved with the mafia-like group that has been chasing me around, then I find myself at an auto repair shop somewhere, talking to a cop who is talking about some of the bad shops he has had experience at, and I am hoping this isn't one of them, since they are working on my vehicle.

Anyway, I am really hoping they can handle the problem with my vehicle, and that it will be something minor, but it is sounding really rough and loud, much like a diesel tractor cab might sound. (Which actually makes sense, since that is what I am driving in this dream.) The cop is indicating that they do good work, but that they are about to close for the day, but I am refusing to leave because I am in the middle of a delivery (or perhaps a mystery shop) down somewhere about Lauderdale, and I have no way to get any help or do anything without my vehicle, so I am not going anywhere until my 'car' is fixed.

Somehow this leads to standing outside watching a couple of people walk by, including a thin black guy who borrowed something of mine, and I am waiting for him to return it, and when he doesn't seem to be coming over to do so, I find myself heading for him, instead. Somehow this leads to the strange switch where I have just boarded a bus with George Takei, and he is going to be helping me with something, though in the dream it is never quite clear what.

So we have moved to the back of the bus, and this punk kid seems to be asking about what we're doing, and I am trying to explain, but do a really lousy job of it. (Perhaps because I have no idea, myself.) Anyway, something that I say makes George think that I have volunteered him to help the punk kid with something, and he is really upset with me about it. Neither I, nor the punk, got that out of what I said, but to avoid trouble, I am trying to reword my comment to soothe George's issues.

In revenge, George goes off on a tangent about the Adventurer's Club, and wants to know why I liked the place so much, and wondering if it was true that Anne complained that I was boring and spoke like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller's Day Off? And why would I talk like that all the time? I'm very hurt, because I never recall her saying anything like that, not even in my hundreds of hours of video footage of the Club, and I don't think I talk in that much of a monotone ... or at least I didn't while I still had a voice.

Then BC shows up and insists she has the footage of Anne saying that on video tape, and is leading George to the front of the bus to play it for him. Except it isn't footage from the Club, but from a play that Anne did, and I am even more upset, thinking that she might be so unprofessional as to make such a comment in the middle of a play. Except that the entire play seems to be of a woman whining about her medical procedures and how miserable she is, and is so much whining that it seems to be more something from BC's friend Pam than any real play. The play's name was something like the Mastectomy Moments or something, probably a take-off on the Vagina Monologues.

Soon we're standing on a street corner somewhere, and I find myself trying to explain my crazy friends to George, while he just stares at me. I end up defending BC by pointing out all the things she has had to put up with, which leads to me trying to explain her brother Benny to him. And isn't that a trip and a half. I am explaining about his past drinking, and his catch phrases, "I kill you for a quarter," and "Jonannelli" and "How does that make you feel?" and the 'I will annoy you if it kills me' attitude. I try to remember the newest catch-phrase, "My pants are too tight," but I just can't bring that one to mind.

Trying to explain all this to George is enough to turn him into Benny, who is drunk again, and babbling in the street, while his dog is jumping all over me, trying to get at the ice cream I am eating. I am trying to push the dog off, but I don't want to hurt its feelings, so while I try to push it off, I explain I just don't know it that well, yet. Odd stuff. (And why does George Takei keep coming into my dream, anyway?)

06-09-2013 -- I think this dream starts out in the Goodwin's kitchen, but it is quickly turning into an odd cross between a restaurant and a warehouse. I think somehow it is Hewitt, even though Hewitt is neither of those. Shrug. The female manager in charge screams and yells at everybody, sticks people in new jobs with no notice and then curses at them and berates them for not being able to do the jobs with no training, and is generally the boss from hell.

I don't like it. In fact, I am rather against it. One girl is being yelled at, and she talks back and the woman fires her on the spot, and passes on several of her tasks to me. Thankfully I seem to know how to do them all, so I can handle it easily. Things get more hectic, more people are being yelled at, and another guy gets fired. I am given some of his tasks, and again can handle it easily.

During a lull in what is going on, I spend some time reading a kids book (not sure what, possibly one of Gordon's), and the witch catches me at it. She tells me to stop, acting incensed not that I would read at work, but that it would be a kids book, and I refuse. I tell her that I will read what I want, when I don't have anything else to do, and if she has a problem with it, I'll give her my resignation tomorrow. I'm now doing so much of the disliked jobs that I don't think she'll dare make waves, but I am not sure.

I am getting ready to leave for the day, when I get a phone call from the horrible boss, screaming at me some more, and I decide to tell it like it is, calling her a bitch, explaining how short-handed her department is, and explaining that if she fires me, she'll probably be fired tomorrow, because of how much work I now do.

My final tasks for the day are to move the bread racks and the elephants, and I put on my green elephant gloves to handle the task (one of those least favorite tasks that were passed on to me) while trying to soothe other employees who heard me talking on the phone, and are afraid I will be history. After I finish my work, I grab one of the full-size boxes of donuts, rather than the snack version we are supposed to take, and I head out the Penney-style exit, past all the trucks being loaded and unloaded.

Outside, a couple of dense employees (guys) are walking around talking about an issue with a truck while another guy is trying to figure out how to fix it. I dodge around them and get out of the way, but soon they have turned into Tony and McGee, and they meet Ziva in the parking lot. I show her my elephant gloves, and brag that I'll be out of the parking lot before she is, and there is some hint of a circus in the parking lot, as I head on my way.

I drive on home to BM's house, where I am in a back room with BM for a while, but not for any particular reason. Then we come out and JM is starting to scream at me, wanting to know why we were together, and also why I have already eaten when he is cooking a special meal, and it is almost dinner time. He also asks how school is going, but I am not about to tell him I may be fired tomorrow. Weird.

06-13-2013 -- [This dream ties into a past dream or two about the distant road branching off the highway a bit southwest of Orlando, before it branches off into other areas. Unfortunately, the last dream that I had that used this setting seems to be one I wrote down, but not got typed up, so I can't link to it, but it was the one with the pizza and the giant birds on the farm.]

I think I have been going to work or coming from work somewhere in the Loughman area, somewhat between Poinciana and Davenport. I am on route 540, and seeing the signs for the highway, and looking for (or leaving) OPC, but there are still hints of the golf course and farm from past versions of the dream. I find myself passing through an area with lots of criss-crossing train tracks that I frequently dream about (having to dodge trains that come on very fast), and I am dodging most of the trains easily and with plenty of time.

But right as I am on the edge of the area and about to manage to leave, I find myself caught in a very narrow space with a wall on the left and a train hurrying by to the right. But as I glance down at the tracks, they are vibrating so much from the train that they are wiggling around horribly. I am afraid of there being a derailment and my being crushed. Sure enough, soon as I think of it, that's what happens. Thankfully, as the cars start to accordion, they do it in such a way that they not only fail to crush me, but provide the gap I need to get out.

I think there is an entire extra section of the dream here, but I can remember nothing of it except for a large black dude coming on to me, and my explaining that I don't swing that way. Soon I find myself back in the train area, but this time I am not trying to dodge trains, but more trying to catch one. This has the feel of other train dreams that have me catching trains (sometimes even traveling as far as New York, England, and Paris), the last of which I can recall is posted here.

I seem to be kind of sneaking around, because I have no money to pay for a ticket, but am hoping to manage to catch a train, anyway. I am wandering around in a back section of the train yard in a place I know I am not supposed to be, and hoping not to be caught. Most people just ignore me, but a couple look like they are going to ask questions or cause trouble. One guy who is in charge of selling stuff decides out of the blue that I am a customer, and keeps trying to interest me in different kinds of freight he could sell me, and somehow it is almost starting to feel like the opening scene of Aladdin, minus the music. And the guy just won't listen to me when I try to explain I have no money to buy anything with.

As he is drawing more and more attention to us, I start wishing I could just manage to run into Abby (from NCIS), and again, as soon as I think of it, there she is. I don't know what exactly she does for the railroad, but whatever it is has nothing to do with criminal investigations or computers. But whatever she does, she is my friend. I am fairly sure that in a past dream, Joy from the Adventurer's Club was 'playing' the role of Abby, but in this dream it is actually Abby, herself, who is here. Anyway, Abby would like to sneak me on the train, but she can't, and as we are discussing this, suddenly a train has pulled into the station, and the curtain to Abby's area has opened, so she has to go selling things to people.

Meanwhile, I am now visible to the station platform, so have to start backing away and trying to sneak out of sight. I start to drift into the crowd, and make my way into the cross between a mall and the House of Imports that was in one of the past railroad dreams. Somehow I just know I am still 21 miles north of where I live, so I still have a ways to travel to get home, and I am hoping to hop on the train as it exits the station, but in trying this I somehow miss the train, and find myself back in the train yard again.

As a sort of combination punishment, and way to stay out of sight, so to speak, I end up manually pulling a couple of round tanker cars around the yard, before I try to rush off. Unfortunately I get spotted by the guy in charge of security over the place, who happens to be Chi McBride. I try to duck through fences and make an escape, but he ends up trapping me in a dead end, and has the police showing up, so it seems I'm probably going to be in some serious trouble here! Darn it!

I can reallly only remember one vivid dream from last night.

At first, I was at home playing Sonic Adventure. I was playing a snow level and had just reached the goal when I noticed something strange. I walked over to what APPEARED to be a dead end, but then jumped up a little higher. At this point the perspective switched to where I am 1/2 in the game myself, 1/2 still controlling Sonic. It is hard to describe but that is what it's like. Anyways, I then jumped up on this little ledge and climbed over the top. I had expected to be forced back by an invisible wall, but instead I was able to keep going... and going... At this point I was fullly in the game myself and it was pretty sweet. There was an enormous landscape ahead of me, all there for me to explore. Unfortunately, I woke up sometime around here...

See ya

06-16-2013 -- [Most dreams have been skimpy and unmemorable recently, so I haven't been bothering with them as much. We'll see how entering them in goes, now.] I find myself at the Hickory house, where, oddly, Rosemary is trying to pressure me to move out. It's late at night, and I am in my second bedroom, trying to play some sort of computer game or something. Hints of adventure games and roller coaster tycoon, but no details. Rosemary is turning into mom, but still kind of half pressuring me to move.

Mom wants me out, but she also wants me safe, and starts lecturing me about why I am not carrying around my gun at all times. She is actually putting up a sort of chain link/barbed wire fence separating the living room from the rest of the house, so that if people break in through the sliding glass door, they can't move on to the rest of the house as easily. She's getting rather paranoid.

Meanwhile, I am looking for the gun I can seem to remember from another dream halfway recently ... one where I had something along the lines of a revolver that I seemed to be shooting at fireworks or something. (I think this was an honest dream I had somewhere in the last year or two, but have no idea if it ever got written down.) To keep it safe, I had it separated into several pieces, and I am now gathering those pieces and trying to put it back together, but the first two or three times, I get it wrong and end up with things like the sight under the barrel, rather than on top. I do manage to eventually get it put together correctly, though, and soon have the shot gun put back together, as well. I gather up my ammo and start loading both guns. Both use the same ammo, something that I think was on Carolyn's advice.

The tough guy sitting together putting other guns together and planning strategies for possible fights is either Dave D. Or Nick W., I'm not sure which. I walk out into the front yard, preparing to test fire the guns to be sure they work well and I can still remember how to shoot, but I find myself wondering what to shoot at to try and avoid getting in any trouble. I figure out a safe shot shooting a tree across the street or something, but I may have done something wrong because the bullets are moving really slowly out of the gun, and bounce off the tree, coming back at me. I catch the bullets and figure the guns may still need some more work.

I end up trying to stay in a room kind of connected to the garage for a bit, as a way to get out of mom's hair, yet still be at the house I grew up in, but it is dirty, and has bugs or critters in it, and there is a really beat up kitten with badly matted fur and lots of scabs that I decide I don't want to be around, as well as a really strange girl who seems kind of prone to violence, so I give up and head back inside.

I'm about to talk to mom, when the place starts shaking really badly, and I quickly realize there is an earthquake happening. It is a major one, and seems to go on for at least five minutes, and it is really bad. The house is breaking up around me, and starting to sink into the ground, as massive cracks start splitting the floor. I decide to head to the front door, and as things continue, into the front yard, trying to get out in the street, and away from collapsing trees, as the entire house seems to be collapsing out of sight. I look a couple of doors down, where Don D. is also out in the street. And even though we're standing here on Hickory, we're both kind of shocked at the earthquake. We would expect it in California, but here in Florida, it was unexpected. [The Hickory house and the neighbor were both in California, no matter what this dream thinks.]

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06-16-2013 -- Earlier bits that are entirely sketchy ... driving somewhere with Carl, getting the mail at the Hickory house, and then watching the washing machine in the garage (oddly a front-loader, which we never had at that location) as it starts to flood, since the door is open, yet strangely doesn't. Then I step out of the garage ....

And find myself in a European hotel somewhere that bears a striking resemblance to Sargent Preston's. Somehow, Janet is about to perform as Klondike Kate in this knock-off of the original club, and though none of the other performers are working here, the replacements have been trained up well enough that the whole thing has the proper feel.

The manager of the place is wandering around selling desserts that are actually pretty decent clones of what they had at the original Preston's, but not exact. (Preston's never actually sold the kinds of cakes I was dreaming of.) Dale tries exactly one bite, but won't eat any more because they are made with alcohol. As the show is just about to begin, I am thinking of video taping it, but decide not to.

A few seconds later, when the show has started and Janet is singing "Hey Big Spender," it sounds exactly like her singing it in real life, and the band is doing a perfect job with it, as well. I am singing along in perfect time under my breath, and dancing back and forth slightly to get the best views as I suddenly am video taping, regardless of what I decided a few seconds ago. And through all this, Janet has not noticed me there, yet, and I'm waiting for her to spot me.

I have a nice typical dream where I chat with a friend. A very talkative dream character who never exist in real life. She suddenly pop of nowhere when I browse the internet on Indonesian forum community. Then I thought she was the forum founder and she gave me a blue and black member shirt which I gladly accept.

As the dream goes on I back to read Yahoo! news and I saw yesterday's head line. Then out of nowhere I was being remind that I was dreaming. I was like "really? What if it's not?". The same trick use over me again and again as the 'dream' word enter my dream mind. The mind set I had that Dream and Reality may look alike and I might not differ between both always challenge me to have one.

Then I thought "What harm would I have to test it?"

I read the news head line again. My mind do it's trick again as I thought the line would look the same as I read before if I wanted it to be. Indeed it look the same as I look again twice.

Then I held out my hand and it vanish as I slap it away with my other hand. As I confirm that I'm dreaming I felt very sleepy and tired. My vision began to darken as I wanted to faint. I try to hold on. The place that I lounge in the dream was in my guest room and there have a clock on the wall. The clock show differently as I saw it for the second time but I fail to notice that the clock was the old clock and the wall was the old paint color. Both were different from the current material I use. I was busy to fight the sleepiness.

I was like "Ow, ow, hold it!" Then all turn to black as I seem to see the back of my eyelids.

"Aww, it's gone...." I said.

I stay in the darkness for several second for I doubt it might be my subconscious doing to shut the conscious part of my mind. Heh, my sub win.

Don't know how the dream was on again where I remember I cooked in the dark. Then my brother in law talking to me in a very social way. Very talkative and joking around easily. I fail to notice the contrast here; my brother in law is actually a rock dead mute person in front of me in reality to the point he frequently got on my nerve whenever I saw him.

The dream goes on with a lot of dream sign. Although I fail to notice them all, I had fun. That's what I want.