I had been in my mom's kitchen with my mom. We had talked about doing mushrooms. She had a snake on her head, that or her head had turned into a snake's head. I thought she might've been mother ayahuasca. The dream also went to my high school for show choir. I had another dream where I was in high school in my cafeteria line picking out food but I was vegetarian having a hard time finding food I could eat.
My morning dream was sort of stressful. In the dream I had to keep waking up for class. Originally, I had to wake up pretty early at around 5am or so. I was at my high school or middle school (i think they were combined in the dream) in the gym area. Attached to the gym area was a bedroom that I was staying in. It was very similar to my IRL bedroom. I was in and out of it going outside and seeing a lot of traffic on the road in front of the school. In my room, I was talking to my friend Sam h about something. My room was very large and open. There were these metal beams high up in the room. There were these steps in the top left corner of the room that led up to a window showing white light. My friend Mason was also hitting me up on my phone, texting me something like "I doubt you're awake but..." and I responded telling him that I had been awake for a long time for something. He suggests we go to McDonald's for breakfast though I don't think we got there. There was a room in the gym that had bunk beds. I was laying in the top of one and he was poking me in my leg which was disturbing. He was with this girl krista w. from my school. They were being very obnoxious together. My nap dream was a little strange. I was at my buddy Moo's parents house. He nor his parents were home yet, I was the only one there. The idea was they were going to come home. I also had the idea that I was stoned. I was in the upstairs part of his house which looked like a kitchen where his dad's room was. I was jumping and rolling around the kitchen, bouncing off the ground. It seemed I was also in my guild voice chat and one guy was quitting for some reason. I was just listening along. Eventually, I was alone lying on the ground when I was frozen. They have two weiner dogs IRL so I had my eyes closed but could feel the dogs jumping and licking on me as I was on the floor. Moo and his mom come in and we talk. At some point I'm in his game room and there's this large bed on there. My head was facing the front of the house as I was lying on the bed. Then, I was shocked frozen. My eyes were open but I could not move a single muscle. It seemed there was this powerful energy in the room. This sounds weird, but it looked like a girl but in my mind it had no gender. It was standing to the right of the bed.
I was with a group of friends returning from an adventure. We're coming down from a mountain and sort of swinging or flying down and the scene below is massive. In front of us is this expansive view of an abandoned city. I remember it felt like this place had been abandoned for thousands of years. The strangest part was that it had a bunch of small buildings and sky scrapers, and cutting straight through each building were these massive gaps. They weren't the streets but they were going right through the buildings. We get to the other side of this abandoned city that had gaps through it and we're now at a cliff. Above us is trees and some sort of village up on the cliff. I somehow latch and jump up to grab this wooden post. I'm now hanging onto this wooden post very high up on the cliff. My friend Owen is there with me. I start to tell him about Ayahuasca explaining a story about the snake. Another fragment I'm in this dim shower area. Someone is hitting themselves with a rock on their head. He hits the ground and says that he is seeing into another dimension. Another person standing over him is concerned.
Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation I am guiding an Ayahuasca ceremony. It is not at Strandgaarden, but a different abolished farm house. We are in the ceremonial room and I am trying my best to relax, while still paying attention to the needs of the travellers. I am the last available guide and so I find myself a little nervous as this will be the first time I will deal with an intoxicated participant. Soon hereafter a parson raise her hand and I go to her. Jocelyn Girala – I think – would like to go to the toilet. She is an experienced traveller and she seems like she can manage her movements, but I still make sure I have an arm close by to support her in case she should slip, though she seems interested in keeping her own balance. I feel slightly awkward, not entirely sure about how to compose myself bodily, but I center myself and relax my nerves. I guide her and we are headed towards the toilets. The toilets we are headed towards are the outside ones next to the Sauna at Strandgaarden, however, Jocelyn insists that we carry on and head towards the next ones out. There normally aren't any further toilets further out, and I find myself surprised when I find out that there is. There are two toilets, but with two separate entrances to each. I ask Jocelyn which one she would like to use and she considers the question a short while, and indicate she would like to go to the one furthest away. “No problem” I say. “But you have to go into this one” She responds, which makes me slightly suspicious and unsure of myself as I want to be available to help her. I enter the toilet however and notice the door is lockable with a padlock. And so I stop up and turn around. I see malice and mischief in the eyes of Jocelyn. I am not far enough in that she can actually lock the door, but I know for certain that this is what she intended and as I realise this she smiles wickedly. “Who are you?” I ask, and we switch positions so she is now furthest into the entrance. We are now in a cosily orange lit stables, with open rafters in close to our heads supporting the roof structure. There are a lot of girders about, all brown. Jocelyn Is hanging from one of the support rafters with one hand, while she is trying to attack me with the other, which I prevent her from doing with my left hand. I find myself singing – icaros – more chanting than singing, I feel myself interfering at the level of intellect to start out with, though I manage to let go of this. I also “purr” at her, to manifest whatever needs manifesting at this stage. I also find myself out of my depth slightly, but I do what comes naturally to me. Jocely no longer looks like she does when we entered the toilets. She looks like a mulatto and she looks a hell of a lot younger – maybe 20-25 – and she stares at me, venom, hatred and anger burning in her eyes. “I can't hold back” Jocelyn whimpers from behind this new entity. It is Jocely who is holding back with her left hand in the rafters – while I support her figure with my right hand and keeping the hand of the entity at bay with my left. I feel a tinge of nervousness, but also a sense of calm confidence as I tell her: “Maybe you should just surrender and let go, we can explore this together” And after a brief moment of hesitation Jocelyn lets go and let the entity descend on me – full force, which necessitates that I protect myself with both hands. All the while I keep up my chanting, and I place my hand (not sure which one, as I am also using both of them to manage her flailing arms) on her chest and apply a slight pressure moving my hand upwards – which fuels her rage. “Who are you?” I ask again and get a vague answer presented intuitively. Rita – Lita… somewhere mid 19th century – a black woman, maybe a mulatto, who has anger problems. There is a brief skip, maybe someone helps her back into the ceremonial room. I find myself standing in the stables talking to an old lesbian friend from England. She has been hurt by Jocelyn. We talk a bit and I hug her and we find acceptance in the fact that Jocelyn is a racist, but that she cannot really help it – it is karmic – which helps my friend find a sort of forgiveness for her. It is as if (R/L)ita has somehow carried it though this incarnation and forced it upon her. I remember saying something along the lines of. “So there was racism in the past” “Yes” my friend replies, sobbing slightly. “So Joecelyn...” “Is a racist” my friend completes. Then Saman and the other guides call me back into the ceremonial room. (R/L)ita is causing havoc in there and a few of the other guides are holding her against a wall. “We can't seem to control her” Saman is telling me. It is as if (R/L)ita is refusing to leave the body of Jocelyn now that she is there again. “I think only you can finish this” Saman continues. And so I walk over to Jocelyn and start preparring to continue the chanting and acupressure moves I have recently learned (will soon learn IRL). I am finding myself unwilling to jump the gun on interpreting this baby here. It seems like there is a message coming through that sort of needs to dissipate through sub-conscious reflection and conscious conversation. I had forgotten about the dream until I was in the toilet during the morning routine, and having put on some Bob (which frequently makes me sing) and returning to jog down anther dream I remembered -”Singing” and the chesty feeling of chanting – “There was something about singing” and in that instant the memory of the dream came back to me
23.05.2015Ayahuesca in the fancy hotel (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was visiting a nice hotel with my wife and a friend, Stephanie. I believe that we were with a couple more friends. We went to a big meeting room that looked more like a theater with several different levels. The carpeting was red and there was a lot of lightning. There were six people on the podium and they were all meditating and chanting mantras. They were with a shaman and I felt that it would be a great thing if I was there with them. We were sitting and looking at the ritual, the energy was amazing. After a while, I could see they were boiling different plants and I told Stephanie, "They are brewing ayahuasca, I bet! Dang I so want to be in there " Stephanie got very excited and told me, "We will trip on ayahausca soon. I will call my shaman and we will have a ritual together." I felt happy and excited. Time lapsed and suddenly, they were done and I saw a different shaman offering the leftovers to people, but apparently everybody was rejecting it until he got to us. I was a little surprised that he was offering such a potent DMT brew to random people. It looked totally not like the real thing, but more like some very think green soup. It felt very gross to me and I was not feeling having a thick ayahuasca, like the taste is bad enoug, lol. I told the shaman, "Well, I actually ate manchego cheese at lunch, so the MAOi is going to make puke big time!" (There are certain foods to avoid for 4-5 days before an ayahuasca trip due the MAO inhibitor.) We went outside and he gave me some tools and all the leftovers because he realized that I was ready for another ayahuasca journey and that I was spiritually awakened enough. I took everything with me and showed my wife, who freaked out a little but was happy for me.
8.20 I brazenly walk into a power station - DS (well Ed's version of a power station...all large dark spaces - DS) A women at the entrance looks suspiciously at me but I brazenly carry it off and I'm gone like the grey old shadow that I am in my dreams. I flit from area to area through a maze of pipes (which, if I had only become lucid, probably didn't even connect to each other) I dodge workers (DS)... even the 2 who are conducting some sort of obscure data-gathering exercise within inches of me. I lay perfectly still in the gloom as one works literally alongside me, apparently unaware of my existence like you get in corny TV adventure progs...early Dr Who episodes were notoriously bad at that (the actors must have had tunnel-vision.) I enjoyed this dream. So...I instruct my brain that any workplace or fellow-workers are dreams signs "because I'm old and I simply don't work anymore...it's ridiculous"...and how does my brain interpret that? It sends me into such places covertly I'm undercover so it's alright to be there. It may just be my foxy old grey matter but I clearly have to choose my words carefully because, like Oscar Pistorius's defence council it latches onto any loophole in my instructions...anything to avoid triggering the magic words "its a dream" Of course it might just be that I'm currently as aware as a lump of granite. I'm already cautious about the sheer volume of night-time instructions...keep it simple...now keep it unambiguous...boy do I need some little sweeteners. I was researching Ayahuasca (which is apparently an "MAO inhibitor" what wouldn't the Americans have given for that at the height of the Cold War?) Don't think I'll bother with that...the last things I need are inhibitions. Avanti!
Tuesday 4/30/12 last night bed at 1am -9am. DR1: I'm in a nightclub. A dead girl, all bruised up, is curled up on a bar stool. Two girls sitting on each side of her lean over her and start making out. There is another dead girl nearby, also no one pays any attention. (I watched Defiance IWL and they looked like some people from there.) DR2: I'm in school. It's empty, I'm looking for exit. DR3: I'm with my class in a long room. There is a few beds and I'm sitting on one of them. Another classmate is sitting opposite of me on another bed. A teacher brings plastic jug with clear liquid in it. It's Ayahuasca. Some of us are suppose to try it. Classmate takes a sip and we watch him for a while. Everybody is watching. It's some kind of a lucid dreaming experiment. Then I take few sips. At first I feel nothing but then I feel something mildly strange with my head. Then I get the strongest vibrations. I brace myself for pain. I doesn't hurt, but I fell like it could. The vibrations stopped and I'm wondering why am I not lucid. I decide to test it. I open the glass door to the balcony, which is not too high, just a first floor. I hop over the metal rail and start to hover - fly in the air, right between the balcony and a nice big green tree. Lots of people underneath. Pedestrian zone, some kind of a fair. Then I'm back inside the class. I talk about how it didn't get me lucid, but then I conclude, that I was flying, so it must have been very vivid, real lifelike LD. I'm asking lots of questions where I can get ayahuasca and we debate it for a while. (There was a teaser on syfy channel yesterday, about new series and three words flashed on the screen - DMT, Ayahuasca and something else).
I've had at least 3 or 4 dreams in the last few weeks where a shaman is teaching me how to make ayahuasca, find psilocybin mushrooms, identify salvia, or make mescaline tea. The shaman is almost shapeless, I don't really see him as a person or anything else, I just know he's there. I don't remember a name either. It's always in the same place: the edge of a grassy field near the woods. There is always a fire and sometimes meditation or drums. We haven't actually used the entheogens in any of the dreams, he just showed me how to make or find them.
15-09-11 School reunion party, Sine's brother is there he accidentally pulls up a bag of coke, Sine looks disturbed, but tells him she wants some, get really hammered, end up at Bo's place, drinks get spilled, people say they went to bed at around 3, though I have no memory after noon (15 hour gap hooray). People are drinking, I am staying over. Skip. The reason I am staying over, go out the back, down to the river, in an Amazonian rainforest, by the actual Amazon river, there is a house boat with two people in it, an older and younger man. The younger man seems to have fluorescent yellow/green skin and doesn't actually look indigenous. The older man is very hostile towards different cultures, so is the younger to be fair. They have a pot of Ayahuasca brewing and I really wanna try that, but they don't trust me, so I ask if I can bring some sort of gift to prove that I am friendly, he wants paper and batteries and I tell him I can get that in a heartbeat Notes: Soooo pissed off I didn't return to this, this has become a main lucid goal for now though! … At Bo's place, Djana comes up and sits in my lap, which I consider strange, she drops some ear rings in my left palm, and I get a vague memory of being with her the night before (during my 15 hour memory lapse), she got those ear rings from Bo, she asks me “don't you agree that it is about time for us to leave?”, which I do, but I am hanging around for some reason, but I seem to have forgotten the purpose. I look in the freezer and it is filled with beer, I try and take one, but fail. … Something about the car.
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