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Morning of January 10, 2017. Tuesday.



After exploring an unknown but interesting region in an unfamiliar rural area, I eventually start thinking about fishing. It seems to be late afternoon. I find an area where several others are fishing, mostly males in their thirties. There is a building on one longer side of a pond with a pathway just wide enough to walk on. The rectangular pond is about three-fourths a city block in length though only about half that length at the ends.

When I decide to fish, I see that there are too many bobbers on the water’s surface near the side I first go to. As I walk along the pond’s length near the building, I see bobber after bobber on the surface (as well as the trailing fishing line) and a number of fishing poles along the bank that extend over the entire length of the pond on that side, the setups of which apparently belong to the group of three men who are sitting at the end of the pond. This annoys me but I do not become very angry.

I walk back to where the other three males are (even though it would have made more sense to keep going around the corner to the other longer side of the pond to search for a space to fish). After a short time, that longer side of the pond I had just walked back along seems clear (though there is neither a memory nor enough time implied to have passed for the men to have actually reeled it all in or to have gathered up their equipment). There are only a couple areas where bobbers and line are still visible on that side. For a short time, I walk in midair above the water (not on the water as in certain past dreams) to get past a corner. I do this without thinking it to be unusual.

I sit down to fish. I have a soft plastic jig body (shad-style soft plastic lure) and slide it onto a hook. An unknown male to my right tells me that I am not doing it by the proper standards. I take it off and slowly put it back onto the hook and he seems satisfied. “You know the fish in here aren’t that big?” he asks me. I nod, regardless of not knowing anything about the area. Still, when I look into the water, I can clearly see under the surface. There are several very large walleye and carp. I intend on catching a walleye.

After I cast my line, I see that I am almost immediately snagged on something. It looks like a large Ragdoll cat swimming under the water. I try to get the hook disentangled from its fur, which is along the side of its body near the middle. An unfamiliar boy of about ten wades out and is eventually able to take the hook out. I am not sure if the cat belongs to him or if he is there to perform a service (as an actual parks and recreation employee). The cat remains swimming in the water. I notice the boy seems to be dressed as a boy scout or parks employee, so may actually work here.

I ask the male who is still to my right about the “other area to fish” with the pretense of me being familiar with the area. I hint at it being a place beginning with “m” and pretending not to remember the full name. He asks me if I mean K-Mart, and I tentatively nod. I then ask him if it is legal to fish there presently. It seems it is.

---

• Fishing, a common dream event for me since early childhood, represents the subliminal desire of the limited dream self to bring the emergent consciousness to the surface in order to wake or at least increase awareness. Water symbolizes sleep and a fish on the line is the downgraded conscious self identity developing coherence (often increasing in size and strength) when being caught.
• This is more specifically confirmed as a self-initiated waking precursor due to the behavior of the personified preconscious. Typically, the preconscious is only hostile when the personified subconscious (dream self) does not want to wake or (metaphorically) initiate waking. As fishing is an act of deliberately seeking the emergent consciousness, the preconscious is passive here. He even helps me continue my task without aggressiveness or treating me strangely.
• This is more specifically confirmed as a self-initiated waking precursor due to the behavior of the personified preconscious. Typically, the preconscious is only hostile when the personified subconscious (dream self) does not want to wake or (metaphorically) initiate waking. As fishing is an act of deliberately seeking the emergent consciousness, the preconscious is passive here. He even helps me continue my task without aggressiveness or treating me strangely.
• The personified preconscious rarely appears in fishing dreams (again, due to what fishing metaphorically represents in real time). He only appears here due to the delay in the waking transition, which was caused by my own hesitancy and non-lucid dream control in creating the additional bobbers and too many random additional "lines of communication".
• The cat in the water is a factor of the circadian rhythms of nighttime (and the dream state during a particular sleep cycle) and has also appeared as the final waking prompt in past dreams though is underwater here based on the time of my dream (after sunrise). Catching the cat would be akin to enhancing the essence of night (or night-based thoughts), in contrast to the “correct” waking goal.
• The reference to K-Mart is a mixed waking prompt and dream sign, since I associate K-Mart with clothes and getting up and getting dressed.

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I am by myself searching through a desolate city scape, very grey and cold. I see a woman going into some shops and think she must know where some food is, but also i am wary for her safety.
I follow after her down into the basement of a store. There are aisles of boxes stacked high and debris strewn everywhere. One section has a long greenhouse, abandoned, for some reason.
However as the woman disappears off I cannot follow her as a large wild cat is now between the two of us.
It's about the size of a large dog, with grey matted fur and its eyes are scarred out. Although it is blind I feel its gaze burning into me.
I move but as I do it moves closer still. I pick up a rock and through it, it has no effect. I am petrified. I throw another as hard as I can at its temple but it just bounces off. Now i'm a bit more scared.
Then I remember that I said I would go back to my practise of hugging DCs rather than killing them.
I make protective gloves and padding appear but I dont really think this will be enough. As the cat must be seriously pissed off and has wicked looking claws. I am lucid at this point.
I then materialise my titanium wings and go in for a big hug. I am eyeball to blind eyeball with the cat and it does try to claw me.
There are lots of pinging noises as its claws rake against my wings and some white sparks.
But I get a hug in there lol. I wake up.

WBTB
I go back into the dream but am not lucid. There is a guy cleaning up plants and weeds into a big bundle he puts in a wheel barrow, next to the old greenhouse. He is an old Jamaican guy with a cap who talks to me. My daughters phone has fallen into some water nearby and I go to rescue it but the water is toxic and it has melted the gold on the back of the phone. As when I wipe it clean it just comes apart. I go to a workshop to try and get it fixed, the workshop has loads of stuff in it, I have seen it in another dream I think.

Last night I was up reading in my living room & Meesha Cat was in one of the dining room chairs where I could see her & in comes another animal just about 7 feet from me. I ran & got a baseball bat thinking it was another damn opossum encounter like this summer. I ran into my room & woke up Mike but nothing was there. He tells me we have had a black cat coming in Meesha's door so we were pretty certain it was that cat. Then today Meesha comes in & is insistent that I get up & low & behold there is the black cat in my house. It wasn't even freaked out by me but I told it to get out. I thought it was weird Meesha was eating so much. She is eating more for winter but this was a whole lot more. So now I have no dreams to write down.

Last night of comp was a bust. I had to deal w/ life & kept waking up via Meesha cat every hour on the hour. She has grown increasingly hungry because her body is storing up for winter & the mice, birds & rabbits are becoming more scarce. I'd love to just put out more dry food but she isn't buying that. She needs a combo of wet, dry & snacks. She is also in the last phase for a female Mainecoon cats cycle to reach her full growth. They are notorious for being extremely large but she is a female so she won't get as big as the males but she has already exceeded the low end of the scale for or a female of her breed so she is basically having her final growth spurt. I just have to weather this time of less sleep. During the week Mike will give her more wet & dry before his early departure to work. I had to deal w/ my parents regarding my grandmother Daisy. Mind you, I have not had to challenge them like this in my adult life so this hurt me quite a lot by things that were said & asked of me. But not only did we make up but it opened the door for me to tell them all about my lucid dreaming, me being a emotional em-path, being in contact w/ my mom's dad who passed away 24 yrs ago. My parents have been atheists for a long time & just assumed I was a Christian & not what I am which is a spiritualist. I found out that they aren't so much atheists but have a lot of the same understanding as I do to different dimensions & parallel worlds. I cried while telling them all of this stuff & they were so understanding & interested even. They shared their views of things that helped too. It was quite an enlightening event. I'm very happy w/ the results. I now have an even better relationship w/ them than before.

The people from my university and my parents were traveling together in what was either a big long-haul plane, a train, or Howl's Moving Castle. We made our stop somewhere and I didn't remember most of the trip, just that I picked up a tiny stray kitten. It was a bengal, I think.i manage to convince the supervisors that I can keep it, and later I also convinced my parents.

The kitten explored the plane-train for a bit, which had the architecture of my parents' house but with longer hallways. It made its way to the kitchen and my parents' cats were also there. The three seemed to get along.

I felt like these were separate dreams, but since I didn't wake up I'll record them in a single entry.

I was a monk, or something of sort. We were at war with another monastery. Me and another person infiltrated the rival monastery. There were nobody present, and we snooped around, and we found a cellar which had some broken things in there. As we looked around I doubled over in pain and thought that somebody teleported a tack into my stomach. Yikes.

I don't quite remember how that situation was resolved, or it might have just transitioned, but I found myself going to sleep in the temple.

My dream transitioned to me going on Mapcrunch and messing around on a random street in Germany. I find myself bodily transported there at night. It was cold, but I was undaunted and I explored.

I found a coffee shop and drank coffee with somebody I thought I knew. My parent's orange shorthair exotic cat was with me all along and was following me. He was as shy and skittish as he was in waking life, though, even if he kept within the general vicinity of me. He kept wandering around the coffee shop and I was worried he'd get lost, so I put him inside my backpack. He did not seem to mind this, although he did tense and hiss if I tried to pet him.

My dream transitioned to me playing a round of Duelyst, but instead of playing with my own deck and faction, I got backfilled for someone else. They were in a terrible position, my general was a young man in a lab coat, and my enemy's general was an armored woman (or she might just be Faie) and we both seemed pretty Vanar-themed. THe map is also pretty icy, and there was a blizzard filter. I had only one health left, but my enemy only got one minion that can reach me, and it can deal 2 damage, so I played a card that healed me for two damage. Then I replaced my useless spellcards for any minions to tip the balance. The next turn, some kind of event happened that gave us both 20 health on top. The game went on, I start summoning a bunch of minions and trying not to die. It must've been infuriating for my enemy.

D1: Non-lucid nightmare: I was being held down & raped by some man I didn't know. It was so intense I woke up.

I tried to go back in to get a lucid out of it to do the TOTM but no dice.

D2: Non-Lucid: I was with a big group of ppl & we were pillaging a house for random stuff. We were lost & just came across it. The family was the Duggar Family from the show 19 kids & counting, (Was weird cuz I quit watching that show some time ago) The father got really angry & was trying to make us leave.

D3: Non-Lucid: I was in a flying hospital. Yup, I flying hospital indeed, lol. I needed to get medical attention for something but never new why. I had 2 female friends w/ me. I was trying to find my husband (not any husband I've had in this lifetime) I didn't look like me. Both mine & his appearance kept changing. It was really weird. And our genders kept changing too! Finally I found him & we closed the curtain on an open ER Room w/ the curtain but it wouldn't close all the way around. A couple of my friends, both women whom I seemed to be really good friends w/ were saying "GO for it!" And watched us have sex, lol.

About an hour before I went to bed my husband & I had an intense conversation about how we met & a revelation I had during the day. We both feel that some other force kept pulling us together no matter what we did. He pursued me for 3 yrs before I gave in. It was an intense 3 yrs. We also both married other ppl briefly but it just wasn't right. He would always turn up behind me at work & freak me out, lol. But I would anticipate him & he would make my heart about jump out of my chest each time w/ attraction. I was always afraid he was a coke/meth addict because he is tall & slim & has a lot of energy. I was afraid because I used to be an IV drug user in my twenties & I don't want anything or anyone like that around me. But then it turned out I should've just asked him earlier & believed him. Everyone we know was like "It's about time!" in the end. We still till this day call him my stalker, lol. But ironically we both believe we were supposed to marry to the ppl in between all of this, because they both died during the year following our marriage (also 3 yrs later, I made him wait again, lol). But before they died they both changed in some ways. My ex was always very bitter & angry. He was dying from liver & kidney failure & turned to God in his final months & Mike's ex was never bitter towards me & actually liked seeing us happy together, she died in a fire... Ironically my marriage to this man ended because of his health. I told him he was going to die & had to change his eating habits & I refused to sit back & drag my kids down this road of slowly watching him kill himself in such a way. I new w/o a doubt he would die. He then went back to live w/ his mother & sister whom he had lived w/ many yrs before he was w/ me so he was never alone... Anyway I think that's where my dreams from tonight came from. Except the first one. I think that was because Meesha Cat was mauling my head to get up & feed her & it triggered that rape dream cuz he kept grabbing my hair. Of course I'm sure some of what we talked about that I didn't mention here was helpful w/ that dream. We had a pretty in-depth conversation./COLOR]

I am in the water, off of a dock. My friend has left his...watercraft with the keys in the ignition out in the middle of the bay. I kept calling it a boat, but it wasn't really. Sort of like a jet ski, but you stood on it instead. It had a dashboard with controls, handles, and then a flat area to stand on. I watch a few people swim up to it, and I'm worried someone will steal it. I've never used one so I don't want to move it. Instead, I swim over, like it belongs to me, and remove the keys from the ignition. I hop over to a tiny walkway hugging a wall, and sidle along until I make it back to the dock which is painted dark, dull red. His apartment is across from mine. In the dream he was familiar to me, someone I care about, but he has become indistinct like many of my dream characters. I'd probably call him a mixture of Ruadh and my ex, considering the people in the apartment.

Anyway, I go in through the open door and navigate through all the people, asking if anyone has seen him. They direct me to the kitchen, I find him there with one of my ex's friends, Amanda who was mostly nice but a little condescending to me.
I walk directly to him and drop my eyes while I explain that he left his damn boat on the bay with the keys in the ignition. I drop the keys into his waiting hand. He thanks me in a distant way and says he'll be right back, I assume he's going to move the boat. I stand there a little too long and Amanda asks me in a condescending way, "What are you doing here, sweetheart?" and plucks a dust bunny from my sleeve.
I frown a little. "Doing him the favor of returning his keys." I say. I know I wasn't invited. I leave without saying anything, knowing no one will notice or miss me.

I walk across the way to my own apartment. It's has a curious layout. A front room with a tiny kitchen off to the right, and straight back is the bedroom, to the left of the bedroom is the bathroom, with another door leading into the living room. People follow me into my apartment, I don't know any of them. I try to shut the door to my bedroom, it's a heavy sliding metal door with a weird crossbar for a lock. It won't latch and people follow me into my room. I wander out through the bathroom and find a co-worker of mine in the living room. Startled, I realize my apartment has two entrances and he came in through the second one. He tells me he was just returning something to me? My cat got out. (I don't have a cat).
I realize with a guilty start that I have forgotten to feed my cat. He's a very thin long-hair tabby. I wonder how long its been since I fed him? I cast about for his food and water bowl which are, embarrassingly full of cobwebs and dead flies. I gather them up and try to hide their disgraceful state from my co-worker as I rush into the kitchen to wash them out. How could I have forgotten?

You know, this is the third or fourth time I've dreamt about forgetting to feed my cat, when I don't even have a cat. =/

It ends with a terrible storm and strangers huddled in my apartment. I'm stuck at the front door, struggling to hold it closed. It won't latch and the flood water from the bay keeps rushing in through the cracks despite my efforts to hold it shut.

And another cat!!

1) On a long drive. The car seems to keep pointing upwards as if it is flying. I kept telling myself that this isn't a dream and settle the car back down on the road.

2) In a cafe of some sort. I walk out, then back in and I look at a table of people pretending to be looking for someone. I'm riding a motorbike and park it in a car park. It's time to leave and I try to find my way out of the car park, it's not easy. Back out on the road I realise that I'm not wearing a crash helmet and probably have travelled miles without it. I pull in at the side of the road to look for the crash helmet in my paniers - as I pull over I see my front tyre is getting a bit bald.
There's an old black cat on the side of the road in front of me, and then there is also a man stood there - he is really friendly and offers me some sweets which I decline, and he tells me that the cat's paw is getting better now and asks me if I want to take a look. I bend down, the cat is now in a box, and I realise that I do actually have a crash helmet on.

A lot of drowning in all my dreams last night, and more cats!!. I will have to look up the meaning of that.

1) Stood on a sea shore with my family. We watched a superyacht near a pier start moving, suddenly it was moving at incredible speed, it turned around, crashed throught the pier and continued in the other direction. We commented that it was just showing off. I noticed the wave from it come ashore and I told my family to watch out. Then my daughter was under the water and drowning - I dived it to rescue her, kept grasping at bits of rubbish but couldn't get her. the dream ended there.

2) Standing by a shallow river. I saw a cat that had caught something. It was holding it under the water to drown it so I went in to rescue it. The cat let go of it, it was a tiny mouse, which crawled up my arm. Then it became a larger mouse more human in shape, I looked closely at it and it was dressed in intricate clothing with a small cloth cap on its head. Then I was digging the riverbank clearing away rubbish as it was going to become some sort of display, then I woke up.

DROWNING: apparently it's about being overwhelmed by difficult emotions (I'm feeling very sad at the moment about animal cruelty and cruelty and selfishness in the world in general and my inability to do anything about it. My daughter drowned in the wave created by a a superyacht presumably owned by a someone very powerful and uncaring).

Loads of little fragments today that don't really make sense:

1) Lying in a field, it's warm and mossy.

2) I walked into a room a cat jumped out of the window. I called the cat back and it came to me, it was a grey cat (I keep dreaming about a grey cat).

3) I was walking across a road and went into a building. It was something to do with school. There were lots of parents sat around and I couldn't see any children, everyone looked really quiet and gloomy. I think it was the start of a school disco or something and parents had to come along.

4) I remember watching a film explaining how Stowmarket was the nearest town to a large glacier, the film showed computer generated images of the glacire with Stowmarket perched at one edge of it. Someone was explaing how they used to arrive at the town by train and it was so romantic but now it was routine.

5) Walking into a hospital with someone else who was in a black hoodie he seemed quite serious, the hospital was being rebuilt. The person I was with wanted to find the plastic surgery room, we walked past a door and I knew that was it but he ignored me and walked on and spoke to a builder who showed him a tap labelled 'delivery suite tap', it was tiny and red.

Slept through last night without any wakings, so poor recall.

1) Went into a bedroom, I had to go through another bedroom to get to it. I knew it was going to be scary, for some reason, but wanted to experience the fright and get over it. I walked in and felt very frightened then looked around and changed the feeling into a nice feeling and all the fear went away and the room felt pleasant. then I walked out.

2) Stood by an animal enclosure. I saw a cat chasing a baby rat. The rat was in the cat's mouth so I picked up the cat which I noticed was an odd brown/grey colour so it wasn't one of mine, and coaxed to to let go of the rat and give it to me.

3) Fragment: serving up some food to a friend's husband, he wanted seconds so I served up some more, it was square chunks of odd looking but he said he wanted lots.

Morning of September 10, 2016. Saturday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children and I are living back at Stadcor Street in Brisbane. It seems to be early afternoon and we have to go shopping for groceries. I am going out the back way, through our kitchen, but the layout is a bit different. The small square area that one needs to go through to get to the back porch is much bigger and there are additional doors, one directly into our backyard and another one onto our back porch.

I notice what I first think is our pet black cat in the small room with me but it has no eye, nose, or mouth detail. It is like a three-dimensional shadow and I sense puzzlement radiating from it. I am slightly wary (but not fearful in any way) as the creature jumps up and somehow goes through the area between the central top part of the door and the door frame (and would have to be as thin as a sheet of paper to do this). This would be the door that goes to our back porch (liminal space).

I go to the lounge room to talk to Zsuzsanna about this strange event and she calls the animal something I do not seem to be able to hear properly. After I ask her to repeat it a few times, it still sounds something like “wolf-roosh”. My hearing ability seems to become too distorted each time to hear the final part of the term. What I grasp from the term seems odd to me as it was seemingly a cat shadow, without any wolf associations at all.

After we do our shopping, the unfamiliar balding male cashier (of about forty years of age) cannot seem to get the cash register to work properly. Apparently he has to press his thumb on a pad to acknowledge he has the authority to use the cash register, but it is not recognizing him. I am thinking that maybe his thumb needs to have a small amount of yellow ink on it to get it to work. I am getting annoyed and I am not sure how we will complete the transaction if the cash register will not work.

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The checkout area of a store is a waking transition metaphor symbolizing leaving the dream state. In this case, the lack of “yellow thumb” is associated with not being fully conscious. The cash register symbolizes the potential increments of critical thinking during the waking transition as conscious self identity emerges.

The threshold event (here an atypical precursor rather than my dream’s final scene) concerning the door, featured a cat shadow in liminal space as the emergent consciousness factor. Curiously, this was borrowed from the ending of “The Flintstones” (which I had seen so many times as a child). Even the essence of the movement (comparative to the sabre-toothed tiger jumping up in the cartoon) was the same. I found that fascinating, especially as the ending theme’s line “…cat will stay out for the night” could be interpreted as remaining unconscious (asleep) throughout the sleep cycle.

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I had this weird dream where I moved into a new house & Barbara Jean was there from the tv show "Reba" was there too. She was my neighbor & she didn't act all goofy like on that show.

Then I woke up & thought, damn it I didn't become lucid to do the TOTM! While getting ready for today I was sitting on my bed watching Meesha Cat. She was looking at something & then tried to bat at it. Her eyes went wild & big & she froze. Then she tore out of the room like the house was on fire & left a puddle of pee on my bed... Just FYI, she isn't experiencing some sick cat problem, she is fine. But today I told Mike I thought she has being Dioji. My dog Dioji died in 2008 in a freak pool accident when it was being drained. He was chasing the little puppies & it just happened. I was a mess mourning for 2 yrs over my dog. He was there for me through my last surgery & was glued to me. He was so attached to me that when I would lay down during the day, he would lay next to me, kick me & keep tapping my hand until I held his paw like we were holding hands while we slept. He did this a lot! Very smart dog. After his death both me & my husband have seen him in our house at various times & I saw him just the other day right here in my room where he normally appears. We both think Meesha sees him but just doesn't know how to react to him. He loved our cat Xan & would only try to play w/ another family pet. But that now would explain why she is peeing on my bed. Mystery solved. Yet I still think she must have a bladder problem of some kind though. When she goes for her checked up I'll see what the vet thinks. Even then there isn't a lot u can do for that issue for a cat, unless I hit the lottery in the near future, lol.

#494 - DEILD(ish) - 4:50AM

I had some help from my little friend Galantamine this morning. I'm not spend a lot of time typing this dream or the next so please forgive the typos.

Dose: 3:30AM
8mg Galantamine
400mg DMAE

For some reason I'm leaving work early in the morning and I'm in the break room getting some coffee. The break room in really nice and has a lot of free food options almost like a continental breakfast kind of set up. I speak to my boss and tell her bye. Then for some reason I go back to a back room in the hot mold shop and take a nap.

I'm laying on a pile of work rags and am feeling like I am in a half dreamy state (irony). There is a TV on. While I watch it things get really psychedelic and I high. I remember I was trying to get lucid and I just relax into the sensations while enjoying all the trippy imagery.

After awhile I snap out of it and find myself in bed next to my wife. I get up for something and see the mattress is laying on the ground outside and the ground is wet and swampy. I see an hear my dog eating dry dog food as I go lay back down. I remember that I was trying to get lucid and I feel that I am really close. I decide I don't care about being wet, but my wife wakes up complaining about it we take our blankets inside a house. As we are walking I think, "This really is happening." But I wonder if I am really dreaming. There is a room with two couches and we decide to sleep there. Something feels off and I know that if I just stop and concentrate I will be in a lucid So, I stop and close my eyes and focus on my body.

I am laying down again and start getting vibrations. I focus on that for a moment then sit up quickly. There is a high pitched zooming sound and I fall out of bed. I get up and though I worry a bit about opening my physical eyes I go ahead and open them. The dream is not bright and clear.

I am in my old house that we just sold. There is sparse furniture and I forget that we already moved out. I say out loud, "Bye house. Bye." I hear my son say bye back to me from the other room. "No, Riley. You're coming with us." I laugh. I walk around the living room and see our cats running around. I scoop up Amelia and hold her close to me as I think of my dream goal. I can't recall, but I get a crazy idea to stretch the cat. I hold her up and pull. At first it feels too realistic and I hesitate. Then I just go for it and she stretches out like a noodle. She looks a little like Noby Noby Boy and It's weird so I set her down and then she has this ridiculous cartoon pouty face. I will her body to return to normal and laugh. I tell her I'll leave her alone now. I walk out the back through the kitchen noticing how vivid and detailed the dream is. Amelia follows but I ignore her now.

I pause at the back door and focus on what I expect to see. I want to avoid stepping into the void. The looks close to waking life but the sky is surreal. The sun is low behind a cloud and the sky is a deep purple color fading to black and bright stars. I pause and take in the view. For some reason looking up destabilized the dream and I wake up shortly after that.