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Trying to fall asleep consciously. Begin attempt at 10:40 pm. After sometime of lying on threshold, roll over and check watch: 12:30 AM. RC and am awake. Surprised so much time has passed, but certain I did not lose consciousness. Lie back on back, just try to fall asleep. Falling sensation,vivid HI (can't remember it now, but I recognized it when I saw it), and then falling completely backward. "Land" in body. Warmth spreads over body. Body begins breathing rhythmically--fell asleep with hands on stomach, difficult to get deep breaths. I just let body do what it wants. Goes on for some time (30 minutes?). Undercurrent of thoughts, but I am able to easily observe them. Just observe thoughts while lying, and use breath as anchor.

Breathing begins to slow down. Continues to slow, warmth continues to spread through body until it is difficult to feel body. Can barely feel body now or hear breathing. I am just aware of my heart beat and some undercurrent thoughts.

Vision begins to brighten and expand, and outer awareness that is left very quickly dimming. I feel this is the approach of delta sleep. Heart rate increases until vision returns to black. I can hear my breathing again. I rest here observing thoughts and practicing mindfulness of breathing until my butt begins to hurt. Leg is also in weird position. I lie like this for some time, hoping to enter the "bright awareness" again. I finally move, and decide to try one last time. Am able to move body without fully returning to normal waking state. Pain is too much after a while. Roll over and check watch. It is 3:55 AM.

#392 - WILD - 3:44AM

Almost an hour WBTB with some meditation and the usual Galantamine dose.

I focus on body awareness and quickly enter into a very long transition in vibrations and SP. I use every trick I can think of to get the dream going but it's being very stubborn. I forget most of the sensations, but it was all very typical for me and only mildly interesting. Eventually, I find myself floating listlessly above the foot of the bed. I look up and see the floor. I am upside down so I reach for the floor landing on all fours. I crawl out of the bedroom into the living room, heading for the front door. I feel very weak and gravity is extra heavy. The dream is very unstable and non-vivid but it's all I've got right now. I continue to crawl, making very little progress. I know I need to stand, but the thought of it seems impossible. I tell myself, "Don't be a pussy." as I use all my will to stand up.

As I stagger to the front door I see a line of dead bolts spin to the unlocked position. I was grateful for this, because the thought of manually unlocking all them seems like an impossible task at the moment. I feel hopeful as I reach outside but the dream is still really unstable. I float to the grass in the yard and feel with my hands as I revert back to crawling. I note the texture and feel as my legs drag across long blades. I recall Jenkees' dare to have theatrical music and try to conjure up something. The Indiana Jones Theme song begins to play in my ears. This is all wrong for the moment so I shake the sound out my mind. At this point the dream decides to crash.

I wake up feeling mentally exhausted and decide to hope for DILD later. I mantra "Remember mindfulness" as I fall back to sleep.

#393 - DILD - 4:07AM

Originally Posted by From Ringworld, by Larry Niven.

"I have a variable-sword," said Speaker-to-Animals. "I urge calm." The kzin stood against a curved wall. In one clawed fist he held something like an oversized jump rope handle. Ten feet from the handle, held expertly at the level of the kzin's eyes, was a small, glowing red ball. The wire which joined ball to handle was too thin to be visible, but Louis didn't doubt it was there. Protected and made rigid by a Slaver stasis field, the wire would cut through most materials including the back of Louis's crash couch.

I am at an old slave house back in the 1800's. The door is boarded up but I manage to breakthrough. I feel compassion and want to free them all. I load everyone up into covered wagon and try to think of a way to get them to the underground railroad.

I have a mini wake-up but fall right back to sleep. I am now in a mixture of my basement and the old dirt floor garage from a house I lived in as a child. I am mindlessly digging up the dirt floor wanting to make a tunnel. As I do this I recall the previous dream. I notice how odd it is that the dirt just vanishes as I dig. It's very minecraft-life. After a moment I pause and stare out a window in a door. Something feels off. I remember to be mindful and quickly recognize this as a dream.

I step outside now unconcerned with digging. I quickly recall one of my goals. I want to revisit the lightsaber play from a non-lucid dream that I had last week while taking another stab at the theatrical music. Recalling the visuals, I blind summon a red lightsaber and give it a few spins. It looks good at first but the light quickly fades out as I walk around the house. I come around the side and see a very strange and distorted version of my Dodge with all sorts of attachments jutting out from the sides.

I look at my lightsaber, but it only look like a laser pointer as I stare at a red dot on the driveway. I decide this is ok because it is now a variable-sword like the one in Ringworld. I flick my wrist and make a cut at one of the chrome appendages on the car. I see it slice a very thin line but it doesn't fall off. I go ahead and give a tap making the thing drop away. I make another slash at the side-view mirror with the same effect. Ok that's kind of cool. Now I need my music. I try to summon something, but all I get is random humming in my head that sounds pretty weak and ridiculous. I let it go for now and wonder around with my sword.

To my left, I see smoke from a something like a brush pile, and to my right, I see a tree covered with Christmas lights. I am torn between the two; looking back-and-forth. This seems to do something strange with my eyes causing my eyelids to flit open, waking me up.

WILD at bedtime. Lots of body vibrations (not normal for me) and then transition in NREM. The sensation is similar to diving under water, and all of a sudden the world is quiet. I wait for a bit to see if something will happen. A helicopter appears. We are flying. I imagine that it's snowing, and begin to hear jingle bells in my head. I silence them, though, because this seems like a military dream, and those are out of place. Once the scene sets, it is snowing

I am set down on a watch tower. A man on a tower across from me yells, "Let's move it, rookie!" This seems to me like a Call of Duty dream. I tell him to extend the drawbridge to me. He drops a ladder to the ground. "No, John," I say, "the button underneath." He fumbles for a minute, and seems like he is having trouble. I remain calm. Can't remember what happened, but think he extended the bridge, because I remember being very pleased with my dream control

I somehow make it across; while I am running over, I try to recall the other tasks besides the snowball. On the other tower, inside a room, there are some dogs lying on a bed--two pit bulls, black and white spotted. I recognize this as my "doubles" dream sign, but of course don't RC because this is already a dream. I go down the ladder, looking for snow. It seems it has all dried up, but I think that if I run around the corner of the building, there will be some left. There is. I run over and pack a snowball. Cold! My feet are cold too, but I remind myself that it's a dream and that it isn't real cold. I start climbing the ladder with the big snowball and wake up.

Progress update nights of 12/17-18

Daytime:
keeping up with the state testing and intention setting. I have been doing more tests involving digital clocks and text. Text is never a big component in my dreams, but I think the more I use the test, the more text will appear in dreamland. Getting in 10-15 tests for each of these two days.

Nightime:
Wednesday night was a bust. I had a later than normal bedtime which gave me only 5 hours total sleep. I woke in the middle of it with no recall. I woke in the morning for the final time and struggled, but came up with nothing. This was a bit frustrating honestly.

Thursday went better. I had some difficulty falling asleep so I probably only got 6 hours total sleep. I woke in the middle of the night for recall but had nothing. I got frustrated by this, but looking back it was needless as typically I don't have any recall in the middle of the night. I think this was just "sleep confusion" playing dirty tricks on my rational mind. It was difficult to fall back asleep, but I managed to and had a weird short lucid which kind of straddled the line between WILD and DILD.

I am aware, but there is just blackness. I "look" down and see my hands, they are pale and translucent, and my arms vanish just before the elbows. I instantly know that I am now dreaming. I clap my hands together and vigirously rub them, feeling the "friction." I do this for a few seconds, then pat down my dream body, waiting for visual elements to develop. I start to move around, feeling the motion of my dream body, but still without visual elements developing. Lucidity fades and a detailed dream develops (I think).

I think the dream I recalled (it was long and recall was very good with many clear details and dialogue). arose immediately after this brief lucidity as I was only asleep for about an hour. I am not counting as as an LD, but still is is encouraging!

I will probably update somewhat sporadically over the next two weeks as I will be off work and finding time to sit down at a computer will be more of a challenge. Don't think I've thrown in the towel though as I will be practicing carefully each night with WBTB and MILD as I will have the ability to sleep in and rack up 7-9 hours of sleep a night. Many LDs await!!

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

Okay so I woke up around 2-3, I haven't done anything with lucid dreaming for a month or so, haven't even written any dreams down. This is mostly because my baby wakes up a lot during the night so I just find it too difficult at the moment.

When I woke up I didn't get up or anything, I was going to go straight back to sleep, but I noticed that for some reason I could feel myself slipping into a dream, then the vibrations started (for me, this seems to occur mostly around my jaw with the unpleasant feeling of grinding my teeth). Next thing I knew I was in a dream, lucid and in my bedroom, I got out of bed and saw some crazy vivid flashy colours coming from objects sitting on a chair that isn't usually there. I turn my head to the wall and think to stabilize, I also realize I'm floating about as if it was low-gravity. I try shouting 'stabilize!' a few times but I can't really talk, I wake up a few seconds after I got into the dream and turned the light to make sure it wasn't an FA. My gf woke up too, and she confirmed in the morning that I did indeed turn the light wasn't too happy about it though lol.

Wish I had more time to type all this.
I've been having sleep paralysis more frequently now, so for the first time I didn't try to make myself wake up and I didn't just lie there during it. But, that's because I was just in a lucid dream that kind of propelled me from it.
(The order of these dreams kind of confuse me, so they might be a little off. I woke up in some way (into SP or into another dream) at least three times.

1st lucid: - realized I was lucid because I had the memory of literally just going to sleep. I made the place I was in (wooden, barrels, huge and cylinder-shaped with lots of bars across) expand upwards infinitely to test that I was lucid. Sometime later, thought I heard my alarm clock go off, heard a persistent beeping noise (and just realized now my alarm clock is a song anyway...I guess my conscious self didn't even realize that). I kind of woke up then, but then I looked around and realized...wow, i'm still in a dream. okay? This dream was in a worse setting. I could tell right off the bat that there weren't pleasant vibes. A guy with a gun, darkish room, don't recall other things rn...I was like oh shit what do I do? (throughout all these dreams this night everything seemed to move VERY quickly, it was so weird. it felt like it was moving much faster than earth events) so I tried to fly away in this quick-paced state, realized, oh whoop, can't do that, so I messed with the plot somehow, kinda hazy with details. I just thought to myself, okay "GOOD VIBES" all around and light started shining and I started gaining power/light? to somehow "defeat the bad guy." I don't really know.

SP: - Right when I did that is when my dream body seemed to rocket up into my physical body and enter an *intense* sleep paralysis mode. Time was still kind of moving quickly, although definitely slower than in the dream and in "normal" real-time, since SP always seems very real like you're wide awake. (maybe you are? idk, anyway)
So I didn't have thAT much time to think. I know once I entered SP and my body started shaking, my dream body propelled upwards out of my bed, toward the ceiling. Then the acceleration declined significantly and I had to "fight" with physical strength, it seemed, to keep moving up. I felt very uncomfortable during this state. I could feel my tongue pushing against the top of my retainer to try to "keep going up" or whatever happened. (During this i was aware that i didn't know exactly what to do, so i just went with that and didn't think much about it. it was pretty exciting!! which i guess is why the discomfort wasn't too bad) Then, I reached it! I went "high" enough so that I reached a dream!

2nd dream - fucking shit i wrote for 11 minutes, i only wanted to write for 5. fucking college essay. okay. -walked outside, bright sunny day green grass - thought to self "i need people" (i think, maybe not. it's hazy) - 2 tables - my age v. adults - torn between where to go/sit -black man glasses some type of atypical accent, leaning over speaking intensely to the table, saying, "ember was on a website, she was talking to a man with a (motions to his face) long beard... " -heard my name and that stuff, freaked the fuck out, woke up, was 4:20-ish (not long after i went to sleep), wrote down on phone

omg....wow i wrote some of it down already. could have just looked at that

okay, and initial thoughts after that were
woww so that's what it's like to LD from SP?? never thought it would happen that way! felt like my actual body left my bed! that was intense, etc. (although now that i've had more out of SP i know it doesn't always happen that way)

This is my second time meditating while in a lucid dream. Something much unexpected happened! I became invisible! When I felt ‘the vibrations’ happening (while meditating in the lucid dream), I projected myself out of my lucid dream body then I was invisible. I then interacted with dream figures, while invisible, and they were totally confused, yet interested in what was going on. I’ll describe what happened.

I was attempting to do a WILD (Wake Induced Lucid dream). I got up in the middle of the night for about 45 minutes, studied lucid dreaming theory (30 minutes), and then looked at pictures of my daughter (15 minutes to incubate the dream). I then went to sleep. I was consciously awake, but my body was asleep. After about 1 hour I started to feel repeating, mild vibrations. I let my consciousness slip right to the edge of being unconscious, and then I leaped out of body and stood beside my bed. I was standing there all tangled in my blanket, and my CPAP mask was still on my face. It was all so real; I figured this must have been a failed attempt at an OBE, so I sat down on my bed. Then, without warning, I was sucked back into my body. Oh no, I blew it again, I was in an OBE and didn’t know it! I fell completely asleep at that point and then ended up in a DILD (Dream Induced Lucid Dream) a short time later. I’ll now describe the DILD.

In this lucid dream I appeared in my kitchen. My kitchen and dining area were exactly the same as in real life, except one problem, how did I suddenly appear here? I knew something was up, because I couldn't remember how I got there, so this is how I became lucid. I immediately called for my daughter, thanks to the dream incubation I did earlier, and a few seconds later she came running around the corner followed by my son. There were both about 3 years in age. I scooped up my daughter and gave her a huge hug and told her that I loved her. She smiled ear to ear, and then vanished. My dream started to fade, so I decide to side down in the dining area and meditate to see if this would help maintain lucidity. Here’s what happened next.

While lucid, I sat in the ‘classic lotus’ position on the floor, with my hands on top of my knees, and thumbs touching my middle fingers. Eyes closed. Within seconds I could feel my body slightly floating, and then this was followed by repeating, mild vibrations throughout my body. Please note, this happens all extremely fast while lucid. I then leaped up out of my lucid dream body and stood there looking down at me sitting in the ‘lotus position’. I looked like me, but just much younger. Hey, looking good! My sister then walked into the kitchen and saw me on the floor in ‘lotus position’, and then she continued into the kitchen and stood beside the island counter. I walked up to her, and asked how she was doing? She looked totally confused, and then she walked right into me, and stopped. I gave her a hug and told her I loved her. When I hugged her I realized I had no arms! They were invisible! I looked down at my body and realized that I was totally invisible! My sister started to freak out! I calmed her down by explaining how I became invisible. She seemed to understand, but had a look of disbelief. I picked up an empty milk jug off the counter and passed it to her while I was laughing. It looked like the milk jug was floating magically in the air. My sister then called for our mom, and my two other sisters to come and see what was going on. They were all confused by this, but seemed very interested in what was going on. I kept passing them stuff off the counter to hold. My oldest sister didn’t want to grab onto the measuring cup I was trying to give her, and she retracted her arms, shrugged her shoulders, and then moved back. My mom went and took a closer look at me sitting in ‘lotus position’ on the floor. The dream came to an abrupt end, without any warning, and I woke up.

I wonder what would have happened if I sat down and meditated in my invisible form, and then projected myself once again (double projection)? What’s beyond being invisible? Hmmmm, gotta try that next time!

12.1.14

Last night bed 10:20pm - 7:40am

Back to bed 8am-10:40

I put an extra pillow under my 2 and propped it against the dresser. So I was on my back, with head raised a bit. I was daydreaming and felt the falling asleep sensation few times and surprised me that it came that soon.

I got into a transition, which consisted of a mild wierd head sensation, as if falling forward or backwards, but very mild. More just a head sensation. And at that exact moment my cat jumped on my bed. The other cat was already asleep by my left arm. So this one took up position on my right, plopping her body on me and purring up a storm.

I continued falling asleep, but when he changed position third time, I turned to my right side so he is behind me, rather than on me.

Very soon I got into another transition. Again, just a wierd feeling in the head. I tried to make it bigger by pushing my head backwards. Then decided to start getting up, even I knew that transition is not finished yet.

It was very hard to get up. I couldn't. I could barely sit up, but I was almost like held down by gravity or something. I tried to levitate up desperately, while also trying to sit up. I finally levitated out over some guy asleep in red shirt. I stood up and started walking away in what looked like a large warehouse. I saw my steel ring on the ground but walked by, didn't want to waste time. But ofc I couldn't leave it there, I turned back and picked it up. I looked at the inscription as I always do before putting it on. There were some pictographs on it, instead of word.

That's when my cat behind me moved again and I got out of it.

Had one more transition within minutes, but nothing came of it.

First off, before I describe the lucid dream, I had no idea what ‘epiphany’ meant (though I did remember hearing it before). This word is not in my vocabulary. I immediately Google ‘epiphany’ upon waking and this was what I found:

Epiphany: Ancient Greek word. Enlightening realization allows a situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective.

As part of my lucid dreaming regime I always drink one or two glasses of water before I go to bed, so that I have to wake during the night (yes the P word). I use the ‘Wake Back to Bed’ method so I can be consciously aware during my REM cycle as my body sleeps. This need to pee entered into a dream prior to my waking. I was at a ‘fancy pants’ hotel standing the conference room lobby area with a bunch of people. I had to go real bad, so I found the closest washroom. This was a private washroom, with a lock mechanism ¾’s of the way up the door. I locked the door. The bathroom had a large window facing the sidewalk, and a skylight facing the multi-storey brown brick hotel. It was very high-end, and very clean. There was a toilet and sink. I found it really weird that there were large windows in a washroom. My first thought was that the windows were mirrored, so people couldn’t see in. Any which way, I wasn’t taking a chance, so I decided to sit on the toilet instead of standing. Have you ever tried to pee during a dream? Well, you can’t (most of the time).

All of a sudden, I hear a man asking me a question. Holy crap, there’s a man sitting to the right of me, on another toilet! He had brown hair, brown eyes, and was wearing what looked like a Star Trek uniform. I said to him in a stern voice, “How did you get in here, I locked the door!” He jumped to his feet (I’m glad his pants weren’t down), he apologized, and then he walked towards the door to leave. I looked at the door, and realized the lock mechanism was gone for some reason. Well, this kind of stuff only happens in dreams. I instantly became lucid, and the clarity was perfect. DILD (Dream Induced Lucid Dream). Actually the dream clarity was perfect, even before I became lucid. I then said to dream figure, “Wait, stay! I’m aware!” He stopped and looked at me slightly surprised. He turned again to leave, and in a pleading voice I said, “No, wait, please stay, I’m aware! I want to talk to you!” He turned around and faced me, and his eyes momentarily went dark, and then they returned to brown. I was careful not to say I’m dreaming, or lucid, because that seems to mess with dream figures. He then sat on the toilet with his right leg over his left. His right elbow was on his right knee, and his right hand was up by his chin. He had this perplexed look, and then he said, “Interesting, an epiphany!” Then he asked me if I knew what epiphany meant, and I replied, "No, but I can look that up." I instantly woke, Googled ‘Epiphany’, and then recorded the experience in my dream journal. I didn’t want to wait until the morning to do this, because I would have forgotten 'epiphany' by then, since I never use it.

I had a semi-lucid dream about flying in a hot air balloon, and woke up after the dream had ended. It was around 4 Am and I decided to do a WILD (Wake Induced Lucid Dream). My body was asleep, yet my mind was conscious, waiting for the dream to start.

As I was lying in bed, I could feel my dream body floating slightly in my bed. It was kind of like hovering in and about where my body should have been, but it was not connected too well. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, I felt somebody pulling on my calf! I opened my dream eyes, and quickly looked down to see who was pulling on my calf, and I saw my daughter standing there! She was glowing faintly white, and was wearing light blue clothes. She quickly ran into the closet and hid. I jumped out of bed, leaving my body behind, and ran to the closet and reached in. I could feel arms everywhere. There were a couple of (or maybe three) dream figures in there! I heard some giggling and laughing. I realized I was only wearing my gitch. I thought I needed to get some clothes on quickly, so as not be half naked in front of these wonderful dream figures, and then I was suddenly wearing my housecoat. It just magically appeared. My daughter jumped out of the closet, and we walked out of my bedroom. I told my daughter, I love her and I miss her, and she said, “I know.” We both started to cry.

We walked down the hallway, and then we headed down the stairs. To my surprise there was a fancy restaurant where the foyer should have been. The restaurant had scattered groups of people, sitting around and chatting. It was split into two areas by a stand-up bar, the lounge area, and the dinner area. The walls were covered with satin brown panelling, and floor was white ceramic tile. It was like a shrimp and steak house! I asked my daughter to hold my hand so I could stay focussed, and not lose my lucidity. She did, and we walked past the lounge area into the restaurant. We then turned around and headed back to the lounge area. I asked her about lucid dreaming, what it meant, and she turned her back to me and didn’t want to discuss it. Fair enough, so we walked back over to the lounge area. I thought maybe we could grab a couple of drinks and some food, then sit down and have a conversation. I asked the lady at the counter for a coffee and Baileys. As I was waiting, I started to sing, “You know an OBE, yeah you know me, you know an OBE, yeah you know me.” I sang this to remind me that I was dreaming, so I wouldn’t forget, and slip into a mindless state. The lady at the counter was taking soooo long. I was wasting valuable lucid dream time waiting for coffee. Never again will that happen!

The table of people beside me noticed my OBE song. One dream figure said, “What did he say?”, and the other replied, “I think he said OBE?” Then they started to whisper back and forth. I looked at my daughter who was now sitting with 3 of her friends at a table, and they kept turning their heads to look at me. My niece came walking by and was making a commotion. I asked the lady at the counter again for a coffee, and she put a bag of chocolates in front of my face and said, “Here!” I thought, oh whatever, I’ll take the chocolates. I looked down and reached into my pocket to find some money to pay her. Holy smokes, I was no longer in my housecoat. I was now wearing yellow shorts and a T-shirt. How did that happen? I fumbled through my pockets to try and find some money, but there was none. As I reached to grab the bag of chocolates a toonie fell from my wrist, hit the floor, and then rolled against the counter. The restaurant went silent. I turned and asked my daughter to come over and here so we can order her some food. She quickly came over, and I asked her what she would like. She said, “A little noodles please.” She had her head down, and she looked like something had gone wrong. I thought oh crap, so much for blending in and being inconspicuous. My daughter looked up, and past me, like there was somebody standing behind me, and then I instantly woke from the dream.

This was very cool! I’m excited! I often meditate (waking world), but I decided to give it a try last night during a lucid dream. It was very cool, and I can’t wait to try it again. Here’s what happened.

I entered a dream lucid using WILD (Wake Induced Lucid Dream). It was one of many attempts last night that just ended up being a dark and poor clarity LD (Lucid Dream). I decided to do something different in order to improve clarity, and that was meditation. As I mentioned, this is the first time I’ve tried this during a dream. I was in a dimly lit kitchen, near the inside corner of a countertop. I slide down the cupboards with my back to the corner, and then I sat on the ground in the classic ‘praying lotus position.’ When I meditate, I usually do this lying down, and I have no idea why I went into the praying lotus position.

Here’s where things started to go indescribable. I quickly went from tensed to relaxed state, calming my mind, literally within seconds (unusually takes me 10 to 15 mins), then I went into the hypnogogic state, again seconds later, where I was seeing flashings of brilliant green light patterns, electricity/lightening, and flashes. Then I could feel myself falling, and slowly spiralling counter clockwise. Suddenly, my entire tarsal started to vibrate violently radiating out to my limbs. I was thinking, this is very similar to what happens at night between dreams, except I’m falling and spiralling at the same time, all while in the praying lotus position! It was all I could do to stay calm. The vibrations stopped, and I found myself back in my bed, lying on my left side, exactly where I had gone to sleep. One problem, my legs and arms were still in praying lotus position. I know this wasn’t possible while lying on my side. My dream arms and legs weren’t in my body! Paramedics! I stayed in praying lotus position for about 5 minutes while trying to convince myself to stand up into an OBE. No luck. I then decided to wiggle my hands and feet and see what would happen. My arms and legs then moved automatically back in alignment with my body in lying position. I opened my eyes and did a reality check to see if I was still dreaming. Nope, I was now awake. I’m going to try this again very soon.

#377 - WILD - 9:29AM (3 of 3)

I try to squeeze another hour of sleep late this morning to try to make up for the periods of wakefulness I dealt with through the night. My son wakes up and I hear mild sounds of him taking a bath causing my to have a short period of light sleep.

I wake fully with no dream recall but I say focused on my body. For some reason I think it is my mother who is giving my son a bath. I have some visuals of this and then I notice some vibrations. I open my eyes but this time, I am certain I have opened my physical eyes. I close them and try again without making the movement. I am not sure what is what but I can see in the dream now. The transition to move my body is a bit more difficult this time but after a few seconds, I manage to get out.

The bedroom door opens as if it is the front door to the house in Texas. I always have a strong connection to this place and though I don't understand it, I just let it be. There is the church on the other side of the yard plus and extra building with gray stucco. I don't have any goal in mind so I wander closer. I think about phasing into the wall to see what I will find but I worry about destabilizing the dream.

Around the side, I seemy neighbors ugly truck parked in the grass. It annoys me so I decide to reach into it and see whats in the engine compartment. My hand phases through the grill and I smile at the visuals and the sensation. I reach around inside and feel a tangle of hoses and wires. I grab a handful and pull them out. I can now see the engine and put my hand on an odd looking spark plug. I say something like, "You will cause problems." I hope to affect waking life as a type of curse on the vehicle. I think about taking anger out and slashing the tires for fun but I stop myself right here. This is totally stupid. I think that I should just let this go and do something else. As I turn away, my wife comes in the room waking me up.

#375 - WILD - 3:55AM (1 of 3)

The usual dreamamins dose. A little DMAE to mix things up. No menthol. 60 min WBTB playing a phone game "Out There" and a whole lot of WILD determination.

I almost lose awareness and have some deep visual of a dream. I pull myself back to full lucidity and notice vibrations. I feel that I am far enough in the dream to go ahead and open my eyes. The room is dimly lit and I see the ceiling. I have my right hand in the air. Suddenly, I feel a sinking sensation and watch as the dream reality stretches and skews. After sinking what feels like 10 or so feet, I decide to move on.

I make effort to get up and everything bounces back to something more normal. I don't recall making my way to the front door; Perhaps I just teleport unaware. Outside, I expect to feel cold air but it's neither hot nor cold. I remember that I want to find this mysterious dream guide that has been showing up lately and I look around. A strange looking, beefy maroon-orange van pulls up into the driveway. It has a very futuristic/spaceship look to it with glass tinted so dark it looks black. I become excited because I just know my guy is in there. There is still some mild instability to the dream and I somewhat clumsily open the passenger side door. To my surprise, there is no one in there. The interior is super plush and clean like some high dollar luxury car. I'm not sure what this is all about but I go ahead and move over to the driver seat. I use the van to drive around in search of my dream guide.

As I pull out of the driveway I notice some kids and other people down the street milling about. I hope to find him there but for some reason the van malfunctions and stay stuck in reverse. This has never happened before and I find it very annoying. After a few seconds I am able to fiddle with some sort of gear shift and manage to drive normally. I make my way back to where to people were earlier but everyone is gone now. I continue to slowly drive around familiar streets in search of someone or anyone but I have no luck.

I feel something touch my mouth and I almost absentmindedly bite it. Is that the steering wheel? I pull my head back and see something black. It's a part of the dash that has somehow grown some sort of lump in it. I say out loud, "What the crap?", as I try to push it down. My hand only wants to phase through so I just let it be. However, it's really annoying because it is obstructing my vision. I decide I really don't need the van so I step to the side phasing out onto the street as I let the van dissolve away into nothing. I can feel it sort of fizzle to nothing behind me like one of those effervescent tablets in water. I always get a rush when I do that!

I continue walking down the street looking down for stability. For some reason phasing the van was slightly disorienting. I notice my shoes and really like the brown and blue design. I hope to find something like that in the waking world. It's so cool how creative my dreaming mind is! I look up and see some white car coming down an adjacent street. I start to head over to check it out but my physical hand randomly clenches into a fist waking me up.

11/1/14 I feel myself back in bed and start getting a WILD-like transition. I feel myself floating just millimeters off of my bed with my wife's arm around me as if it is holding me from floating off. I am fairly sure her arm is also just part of the transition and will myself to float up further to make sure I am fully in the dream and not just imagining that I am feeling a little light. I then start willing myself to propel forward through the darkness and settle on attempting to arrive at my favorite grassy sea beach. I fly for a good while but eventually have a false awakening of my son making a good deal of noise downstairs. I have a good amount of awareness and memory and remember that he went to bed already and it is highly unlikely that he is having a loud conversation downstairs in the middle of the night and that I should be dreaming. I go out of my room and try to float down the stairs but maybe I kind of float inches above the staircase on the way down. When I get to the bottom I hear my wife coming out of the room upstairs and decide to do a float from my living room up into the vaulted ceiling with a view to the loft area to show off to my wife's DC (any doubt that I am dreaming is fully erased by this point). I hear more than one person in the family room and float back down to go in there and half expect to see my son and his college girlfriend and maybe have some fun with her. Instead, I see Girl Friday get off of the couch and my son is there also. I tell her to "come here, remember how you really wanted to (give me oral)?" She looks like she recollects the same and I whip it out and she starts doing an okay job with it in her mouth. I say "oh remember, you wanted to lick it" and she starts to lick it and it is very, very nice! I look over and say to my son "she is good" and my wife starts to come down and still fully lucid I tell her to check out what is happening. This eventually comes to an end and I wake. I then have a series of short dreams with continued good awareness, some lucid, some semi-lucid, some unclear as my recall wanes: cherry pie like treat, I pour milk over it and add cereal flakes; Outside my house and I note how realistic the trees look and how well the dream replicated how they look; re-coated aluminum pan at M Blvd, I start to write down my dreams so far (in the dream) first on the table cloth, then on an envelope (later did just that IWL) ; amusement ride, swinging boat, cameraman acting tough and taking video of guy in middle seats (less thrilling) yet he is also in the middle seats on the other side of the center of the boat; in the back seat of an SUV with a video game screen in the middle just behind the front seats; short dream with a distant explosion; lots of short forced dreamlets related to all of the beautiful women who will be at an even I am attending IWL. During this series of short dreams it felt like I was on the edge of wake/sleep in an unusual way and I was testing my state at times finding that I could transition out of a scene with my eye clenches with accompanying vibrations. Very odd and I felt much more on the dream side of things than when I am trying to do similar things after a WBTB or late awakening and getting more traditional dreamlets that seem to occur more on the waking side of the equation. Hopefully I was actually finding success in staying aware but away from my waking body at times when I would normally return to bed and wake up too much, hopefully bridging the gap between the now shorter gaps between REM periods. Possible reasons for good night of lucidity: repeatedly asking myself what was I dreaming (earlier in the night); daytime awareness work with more dream actions (like RRCIS); some playing with CanisLucidus' "looking for the dream" may have been key in getting good replications of my home featured in the Girl Friday lucid and the lucid moment outside of my house with the trees later. Will just count 2 lucids tonight. 223 & 224

10/31 early lucid. Sexy women around. "If this were a lucid dream, I would...ah...I am dreaming." I interact caveman style with several women before focusing on one turning her on with dirty talk and actions before doing some float-flying. 222

10/30 Exhilarating, romantic and sexual lucid with a younger woman with small breasts. I particularly enjoyed cupping her breasts much like early sexual experiences. 221

I used the WILD dream technique this morning, and ended up at a family gathering in a kitchen. I was asking who everybody was and hugging them. Everybody seemed so young, and it was difficult to figure out who was who. I said, “Where’s Daughter?”, and then I found her in the living room. She was much younger, maybe 7 years old. We started dancing in the living room without music. Daughter and I then transitioned into this very cool lucid dream.

We instantly appeared inside a rusty metal framed greenhouse with a concrete floor. The greenhouse was completely underwater, except for the glass roof panels that had waves washing across the top. The sun was shining through the waves casting reflections throughout the room. Suddenly Michael Jackson crashed through one of the glass roof panels in a wall of water, perfectly landing on the ground in a kneeling position, head tilted forward holding his cap, and then he did his trademark, “Whoohoo!” Water washed across the concrete floor. His hit ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’ starts playing, and then he moon walks off to the side, and starts singing his song. I tried to moon walk too, but I couldn’t do it, so I did some other ‘old man’ moves. Guess I gotta work on that – lol, for the next dream. Daughter and I started to dance to the music as Michael played. At one point I held my hand up and Daughter did a pirouette. As the song was nearing the end, my daughter started to run around totally excited, as she was talking nonsense like any 7 year old would. Daughter then began to shrink in size to about the size of a cat, and she ran off while 5 people started to chase her. I became furious, and I threatened them in an effort to get them to stop chasing her. Two of them instantly stopped and backed off. The other 3 remained in pursuit. I was about to draw my magical sword, given to me by a DC in a previous LD, but I became too angry, and woke up. I’m glad I woke up, because a perfectly good lucid dream was about to become a disaster. I find I jump to assumptions and conclusions way too quickly when I’m lucid. I need to work on this. Aside from the ending, I really had fun in this lucid dream!