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Sorry for all the tense changes and conversational tone, I rushed this a bit.

So I have some really fuzzy WILD that I admittedly had forgotten to stabilize (oops), I start off and I’m in my own dining room, but I’m standing next to a couple of dudes and I’ve got no idea who they are. Immediately they start saying they need my help saving some Princess; while I do like to see where the story in lucid dreams takes me, I recall how often I get annoyed when I get sucked into dream plots before completing my goals, so I tell them to wait a sec with a hint of annoyance in my voice and I walk outside through our backdoor onto the balcony.

My lawn looks a little bit Autumn-y, though I think the most unusual thing was the fog. Yeah, the area was pretty foggy, and I couldn’t see further than a couple hundred feet. I eventually focused on a few points here and there to try to clear up some of it and I find that far out past some woods are a bunch of mountains, which to me, are an obvious confirmation that I’m dreaming. For whatever reason, I decide to ignore these anyway and come up with a plan of my own.

These random dudes followed me outside onto the balcony and are wondering what I’m doing, and I basically just ignore them as I decide I’m going to fly directly up into the sky and somehow come crashing back down. I climb onto the railing of the balcony and make a confident leap up towards the sky. I don’t go very far—I end up kind of floating around a little above the house like I’m in space. The guys are watching me astounded, but I’m just a little frustrated as I try to push myself up towards the sky.

It was weird—first I tried swimming up, but it ended up going pretty slowly. So, instead, I tried to envision that the air under me would give me some sort of push towards the sky. Not only did it work and I felt myself suddenly rising, but it gave me the momentum I needed to keep going. Eventually I felt myself rising pretty steadily, the wind going past my face. Though it didn't last long, this moment was pretty vivid. I'd even look down and it would look like the ground was literally being eaten up by the fog. I kept rising, and I ended up passing these flaky clouds--they weren't soft and liquidy, but more like... thin cotton candy. Weirdly enough, my cat was sitting on one of these clouds. Just lying there, chilling, watching me fly.

I laughed at this sight, and took a moment to stop and lower myself down to him to say hi. He gave me a couple of blinks and I kept going about my way. I flew up and up, though I never passed or even saw space. I just kept flying up towards the blueness of the sky. It always felt out of reach, neverending.

Eventually I stopped, gauging it was high enough. I had no idea how high I actually was, or how long it would take me to fall. It was so foggy, I couldn't see the ground, and since I could never reach space either, everything around me was just blue. And I was just... floating.

Then my wonder turned to confusion as I realized the problem: how was I going to get down? While I was skilled enough in flying, I was certainly not skilled in not flying while flying...er, or something to that effect. All I was familiar with was landing, which I couldn't do a thousand feet in the air.

I got a little creative and came up with the idea of pretending I'm flying because I'm tensed up, or holding onto something. Although there was nothing actually there, I gripped the air like I was holding onto something, and I tensed up my body as if I was really trying to hold on tight. Though it wasn't visible, I did get the feeling that something was in my hands, and my feet gradually started dangling, as if it was the reason I was still in the air.

I let go, and I immediately started falling--well, everything was still blue, but I felt like I was falling. Apparently there's no such thing as terminal velocity in my subconscious, because it constantly felt like I was accelerating. I would go down and down, and the air would whip past me, and I'd get butterflies in my stomach. This feeling lasted for maybe a dozen seconds--it was right when I started wondering if I was stuck, if I'd have to wake up or get creative to get somewhere, when suddenly the fog unveiled itself and the ground was right there.

Yeah, fog is trippy, I didn't see the ground until it was 20 feet away.

I hit the ground on my stomach with a slight bounce, but it wasn't painful in the slightest. Actually, it was much more shocking, like a sudden adrenaline rush or as if there was an unexpected drop on a rollercoaster. I desperately held onto the dream though, feeling the grass with my hands and taking in how it smelled, and thankfully I didn't wake up. As soon as I was confident I'd stay in the dream and the shock faded, I stood up casually and brushed the grass off my clothes. I noticed I ended up in my lawn, so I started heading back up the balcony.

One of these other dudes asked me, "What was that for?"

All I said was, "Just proving myself as a God. So, what was all this about a Princess?"

Lucid dare done.

So now he started telling me about how some Princess was captured by this other clan in the jungle that they're rivalling against. Honestly, it's some cheesy plot where people go to war over some hot 17-year-old chick.

He starts telling me more but mid-conversation I feel the dream fading, so I let it happen and perform a DEILD. The moment I'm back in the dream, I'm in the jungle they were talking about.

(side note: still forgot to stabilize)

So the guys I was with were all dressed pretty urban-y like they were actually civilized, but these jungle people I'm with now are all dressed like cavemen. These guys expect to get their Princess back?

I went around talking to some of them to find they don't actually have any sort of plan to get their Princess back either. I'm a little annoyed, so I try to think of my own. I see one of the dudes I met earlier (still dressed civilized unlike the rest) and ask him for more information on our side, if we have any weapons or even a base. He tells me their clan is part of some snowy place which apparently borders the jungle (biome logic; are we in Minecraft?), but as I glance around for it, he hastily tells me that it's getting dark and that we should be getting to sleep. I ask why that's so important, and he says that the rival clan is guarding the snowy territory.

I then wonder why we're in the jungle, but I just kind of say, "okay, whatever," and lie in the grass beside him. Eventually that other dude that was with him in the beginning of the dream came by us as well. We just kind of hung out, not saying much, and I took note of how swampy and wet the grass felt. Vibrant green leaves were on the ground besides us as well. Eventually the dream fades, and I DEILD again.

It's nighttime, and instantly I stand up and think, "oh wait, this is the perfect time to do something important." I started basically writing the plot in my head--I decided that back in the snowy territory was some stone or whatever that possessing would defeat the rest of the clan (on hindsight, it really would've just been easier if it was in my pocket, but oh well). Now would be the best time to get it, because everyone would be asleep.

I made my way to the snowy place in which I just instinctively knew where it was, but to my dismay there were people all geared up with guns that were guarding the place. I wondered how I'd get away with this, then decided I would transform into an Arctic wolf as a disguise. Since doing this task, transformation has never been a problem for me, and I especially could relate with already having specifically transformed into a white wolf in a snowy territory. Most of it was will--I just ran through the edge of the territory, and looked down at my hands until they began pounding against the ground. I felt fur surround my body, and I knew the transformation worked.

I look around and the guards are completely ignoring me, I see this hill where there's this glowing blue stone at the top of it, so I end up trotting over no problem towards it. The guards continue ignoring me, and I even manage to get the stone in my mouth. I get a little nervous at this point, and just try to casually walk back towards the jungle. My nervousness gets the best of me however as I hear a shout to my right--one of the guards saw me with the stone, and boom, just like that, all of them were on me. I took off at full speed, somehow managing to dodge their bullets. I made it back into the jungle, but they kept chasing me, and the commotion quickly awoke everyone else. For whatever reason everyone else had guns too (maybe it was because of the stone?), and everyone was quickly wide awake fighting clan versus clan in a nasty gun battle in the jungle. I turned to human form as well which wasn't too hard, kept the stone in my pocket, and quickly summoned and took out a gun from my other side. It was a simple trick I used a lot in dreams: act like I was pulling out a gun from my right pocket, and it would suddenly be there in my hand.

What was most interesting about this part is that I felt invincible--nothing really affected me, but I could kill anyone by just looking at them. So I did, in plain sight as well, just shot the DCs I knew were from the other clan.

I don't really know why, I guess it was just coming to the end of my dream time, but I felt the dream fading once again. I knew it was getting late into the morning, so I decided that would be it--but not without taking the stone out of my pocket and quickly finding one of the dudes from the beginning of the dream. I gave him the stone and told him to use it to get the Princess back. He mumbled something back, but it was so fuzzy I don't really remember what, and just kept going about shooting these other guys. Because of that, I'm going to assume whatever he said was a good thing.

I woke up, and I like to think that they ended up succeeding in getting back their Princess from the jungle.

WILD. Am doing SSILD when I feel several waves of vibrations, and I picture a room with a Stargate. I end up in my bedroom, which looks similar but a bit different. It's really dark. I RC and I can breathe through my nose, and I look at my hand and my fingers look strange, like multiplied and stuck together. I look at the room and see a mini-Stargate on the floor. I look for the power plug and it looks like it's plugged in already, and I see the lights around the ring flicker. I try adjusting the size by pulling the circle so it's bigger. It has this black film in the center of the ring. It doesn't get big enough for me to go through. I look up for the power button and then look down and the mini-Stargate is replaced with the black fan in my real bedroom. I shrug and decide to give up on that for now.

I stand up, feel the dream fade a bit, and repeat in my mind, "I'm dreaming," to keep the dream stabilized. I walk through the glass doors of my balcony (which aren't covered by curtains in this dream) like they're nothing, which is awesome because I've had trouble with that in the past. I jump down to street level and decide to try flying really fast. I take off and try flying superman style, but even though I can fly okay, I can't aim upwards for some reason. I look around for rocket boots to help me with that and see my brother's red shoes scattered around the neighborhood (which is also, by the way, reaaaally dark and it's also snowing a bit). I try one on but it's too small. I dispense with the shoes and look around.
The neighborhood looks like a generic mash up of the neighborhood I live in in real life. I remember the "eat something" task on the points page and look around for anything I can eat. I see a bunch of pink roses (?) nearby and pick off a bit of the petals, but it crumbles between my fingers, and I don't eat it for some reason (there goes 4 pts...). I look at the nearby house and decide to enter.

The door is unlocked and opens smoothly under my hand. I step into a darkened living room that vaguely resembles my own (?), or so I thought at the time. I look to the right and go into the dining room, which has a bit of light and voices coming from it.

The room is empty. I can still hear the voices and see some light, but there is no one here. "Hello?" I call out. The voices continue on. I turn around and see one of my mom's friends sitting at the dining room table. I hadn't noticed her before. Finally a DC I can talk to, I think, and sit down next to her. She says something in Mandarin, and Cantonese, and I reply in kind (I think I say "I don't know") and finally she starts speaking in English. She says something about my high school and grades, and I generally agree with her (seriously, why am I talking to her about this in my dreams? When there's an infinite amount of other things I can be doing) and the dream abruptly fades. I close my eyes and try to DEILD back in to no avail.

I had this lucid dream back in February. It was my first WILD!

I am practicing a relaxation exercise and mantra during a WBTB session. I feel slightly dizzy, then hear a roar in my ears. I then experience intense sensations of my body twisting and turning in space. I see darkness, but as I continue to hold into my awareness, I begin to see a vision of a tunnel. The physical sensations slowly translate into a feeling of shooting through the tunnel at hyperspeed! The feeling is almost overwhelming but I stay focused and conscious.

The speed finally slows and I feel like I land on solid ground. It is pitch black. Slowly, the scene around me starts to materialize and I focus on my hands. I am wearing black gloves. It is night time, and cold here. I keep thinking I DID IT but remind myself to stay calm. I look around and see lights far off in the distance. It appears I am way outside of town. There is a creek or canal to my right, and a path ahead. I am in awe of what I just accomplished and what I am seeing, but I don’t feel the dream is very stable. I know I need to stay engaged with the dream to keep from waking up so I start walking. I then see a small hut ahead with lights on. I decide to follow the path to the hut to see who might be waiting for me.

The dream then begins to collapse; everything goes fuzzy and gray. I recently read about LaBerge's spinning technique, so I decide to try it. I spin around as fast as I can. The scene fades to total darkness. When I stop spinning, my vision becomes clear again. I am in the same place, but now it is daytime and it feels like summer. The sky is incredibly blue! I admire a tree next to me and enjoy how bright the leaves are, as though they are alive. I look at several other plants along the path and notice some strange discoloration in the leaves. I wonder if the plants are malnourished. The dream then collapses and I wake up.

Ritual: wtb 3:15am, last wbtb 9:15am, woke 10:38am, SSILD: WILD

Last sleep, last chance. It was already 9:15am, but since I'd gone to bed so late, and all my previous attempts that night had been without real motivation and had resulted in falling asleep before completing a single cycle, figured I could try once more. SSILD: tempted to mix it with other techniques, but if I was going test this properly, ought to do it straight up. My timing was messy and uneven, but remembered that was okay. Did maybe three cycles on my back, uneven length, afraid of waking myself up too much, given that it was already mid-morning, so turned on my side and prepared to let myself sleep. A few times I ran through the cycles very lightly and quickly, just to get back in touch with my senses. At some point in this process the cat jumped on the bed. I was getting closer to sleep but figured I could work with this if he settled down and didn't just start yelling. Fortunately he decided to sleep on me, and I was able to work that sensation into my rotation. I wasn't cycling regularly, just randomly once in a while when I felt I might be losing touch.

I must have been already dreaming without knowing it, because I thought I was only thinking, and it never occurred to me that the presence of sustained visuals suggested otherwise. I was replying to posts on some online forum made my a friend—nothing to do with DV, no one even connected with dreaming, just an old friend I haven't talked to in a while (AS). He was posting something about falling asleep a certain way and used an acronym like "TILD," and I wanted to reply snarkily with something like, "Does TILD stand for 'talking to yourself in bed'?" At the time, I was convinced this phrase perfectly fit the acronym, so I was apparently already touched by dream logic. So I was trying to type out my reply, and I simply could not type "TILD" properly. I tried over and over, and my fingers kept slipping and hitting everything else on the keyboard. Technical difficulties like this are one of my dream signs, but since I was convinced I was still awake, it didn't occur to me to RC. On the contrary, I thought I was having this trouble typing because I was getting too sleepy! This was precisely the opposite of a false awakening: instead of losing dream awareness by believing I had woken up, on the contrary, I failed to realize I was dreaming because I thought I hadn't fallen asleep yet! (If there's no acronym for this yet, I propose FFA for "false falling asleep," as it pairs well with the more familiar term FA.)

Around then the music started. I could hear a Pixies song. At the time I was sure that it was a song I knew, and it was playing perfectly down to the last note, even though I hadn't heard it in years. (I can't remember now what song it was, if it was indeed a real one.) I knew the music wasn't coming from outside me, and figured it must just be hypnagogic activity. The whole time until now I had been aware of lying in my bed, which was part of the reason I thought that I hadn't quite fallen asleep yet. After the Pixies song played in its entirety and then concluded, a new song started. This one intrigued me even more, because I was sure it was a song I had never heard before. It was lively enough to make a good follow-up to the Pixies, but the singer had an accent that sounded African. It reminded me of the song "Rise" by Seun Kuti, one that I downloaded free from Amazon and put on my running mix—but I'm not familiar with his other work. This song, like one before it, was crystal clear... like so often before I regretted that I am not more musical in waking life, because I felt sure if I were musically literate I could wake up and recreate it. But I didn't feel like rousing myself and trying to hum the melody into my iPhone when I hadn't even gotten to sleep yet.

WILD: At some point around here the transition finalized, and I realized, hang on, I think I am asleep now! I'm in my dream body! I could probably just 'get up' without disrupting anything... so I got out of bed, and even though everything felt extremely lifelike, there was a lightness to my body that I was sure meant I was dreaming. I was impressed how bright and clear everything was, and how mobile I felt, unlike a lot of WILDs where it's dark at first and I'm crawling over the carpet trying to get traction. But perhaps integration wasn't perfect yet, because hardly had I gotten out of bed when I was disturbed by a loud rhythmic noise that threatened to disrupt the dream state and wake me. At first I thought it must be the mailman knocking on the door, because I'm expecting a package. But as it continued without abating, I realized it must actually be construction on the house up the hill. How foolish it was, I chided myself, to do my dream practice so late in the morning! The world wakes up and starts making loud noises; at least during the night it is quieter. (RL: It turns out there's nothing at the door and no construction going on outside, so despite these very reasonable hypotheses about bleedthrough stimuli, the sound appears to have been largely or entirely internal.)

The sound was extremely disruptive and I felt alarmingly close to being woken by it. But I had just gotten into a perfectly good dream and had no wish to lose it so soon (like that time recently when I was woken from an otherwise fantastic WILD by my own snoring—come to think of it, this is another possible culprit for the sound!) How can I deal with this and remain in the dream? The answer occurred instinctively: dance! So I started dancing to the noise. It was a bit like dancing to the sound of hammers, and my dance was correspondingly jerky and spasmodic, but it did the trick! After a while I felt that the dreamstate was no longer threatened, so I paused and looked at myself in the bedroom mirror. Once again, as in the last SSILD, I was impressed how much like my waking self I looked: the hair was different, shorter, but the same face, same eyes. I smiled at myself and could see the smile in the reflection. Interestingly, even though it was a full-length mirror, I have no conception of what I might have been wearing. I wasn't curious about it at the time I was looking, so I have no impression of it now. If I had to guess, I would suppose it was a loose white summer dress of the sort I've been wearing around the house lately (I don't wear these to bed though).

Even though I had come to terms with the noise, it was still loud and annoying, so I decided to leave the bedroom and move deeper into the house, hopefully away from it. It might have diminished slightly by the time I got to the kitchen, but only a little, so I keep walking through to the living room. I notice my fluffiest down comforter is heaped up on the couch for some reason. I pull it off, and as the folds of cloth open I see the dark silhouette of a butterfly within them. I am momentarily confused: is butterfly a dream figment, or is it real? That is, just as I thought the sound might have a source in waking life, it didn't seem improbable at that moment that a butterfly might have accidentally made it into the house. Dream logic prevented me from realizing that, even were that so, how would I realize it when I was asleep in my bed? The butterfly flutters up and flies into the kitchen, so I follow it. Around this time I am too distracted to notice the noise anymore, being completely engrossed in the butterfly. When I enter the kitchen, I notice that in place of the little black one I followed, about the size of an ordinary monarch, there are now two very large butterflies, their wingspans about 16 to 18 inches across. One is slightly larger than the other, a very pale greenish yellow. The other one has the same base color, but its wings have black borders.

I am reminded of the task I had been intending to work on next, "creo animál." However, it seems that the dream has jumped the gun and already created the animal for me, so I roll with it and decide to experiment with "rego animál" instead—apparently forgetting I've already done this one numerous times. I know I should try "intellego animál," as I've never tried anything with that technique, but I'm not sure how to go about it, so I decide to put it off until later. I hold out my hand and command "Rego animál," focusing on the larger, lighter-colored butterfly and intending for it to land on my hand. The butterflies flit around and ignore me. I try again. Doesn't work. What's the problem? They are "animals," aren't they? I mean, in the broad sense of the term, I'm pretty sure insects count. Do I need the "auram" sphere for this, as they are creatures of the air? But I've worked with wind before—I've found it quite straightforward to conjure all the elements directly—yet somehow this is harder. I'm forgetting all the times I have commanded animals very easily in other dreams, and am probably just making it harder for myself by all the Ars Magica rigamarole, but truth be told I like rigamarole... it's more stylish and satisfying than just making things happen in a perfunctory way. I conclude that the main problem is that I'm just not putting enough focus into my intent, and so the third time I sing the command. For some reason, I always get the best results in dreams when I sing to shape them, and sure enough, now the butterfly comes over and lands on my proffered hand.

What next? I walk the few steps back into the living room, and command the butterfly to fly up again and go land on the small table by the window on the other side of the couch. Again, it takes me a couple tries, but the butterfly finally obeys. As it lands there, it turns into a young light-haired woman. I am distracted from this transformation by a young blonde man who is now at my side. He is not the second butterfly, the one with black-bordered wings: around this time she transforms into a dark-haired woman who is standing near the closet. With all this transformation going on, I am inspired to try "Muto animál," so I direct this command to the young man, intending for him to turn into a butterfly. He stands there looking a bit obstinate or confused, so I sing the command in what I intend to be a very persuasive manner, and he finally complies—sort of. He lies down on his right side in a fetal position. He is not lying on the floor, but on some platform a few feet high that doesn't exist in RL (there would just be a wall there). He produces a bundle of red yarn that he stretches along the length of his spine. I watch, waiting for the transformation, but nothing happens. I command him again, and he respond that he is doing his best, but that it will take a very long time—maybe up to a year!—because the timing isn't right.

It's possible that the guy is just dicking me around, but he seems sincere, and he does offer that he could transform more easily into a goat. (OMG! I hadn't even realized until I wrote this that my first SSILD also involved a goat... odd coincidence, as I don't remember dreaming of goats under any other circumstances.) I say that this would be fine, so he gets back up, discards the red yarn, and transforms at once into a brown goat of ordinary size. He warns me that when he is a goat, he speaks in a strange high voice—which seems contradictory at first, because he has already turned into a goat and is still speaking in the same voice as before. However, after delivering the warning, his voice does change. From his description of a "high voice," I was expecting him to start speaking in falsetto, but instead he sounds more cartoonish, like his voice has been sped up. With his new voice he introduces himself to me, telling me his name is "Hemm." I find myself wondering how this is spelled. I imagine it with two 'mm's, but having only heard it spoken, I can't be sure. Should I ask? Well it can't hurt, and might help me remember the name better. "Is that spelled H-E-M or H-E-M-M?" I inquire. He replies that there's no way to know: he was just a blacksmith's son and never saw it written down.

I realize that I should get the names of everyone in the room, because then I'll be able to write a more detailed report when I wake up. So I turn and ask the girl sitting on the small table, formerly the pale butterfly. She tells me her name is "Anna." She is now holding a painting, a vertical rectangle about 24x36 inches, and turns it around to show me the back. "And his name was 'Jakachibe', he was a Japanese thief." I gather that the guy she mentions is represented on the front of the painting, but I barely had time to glimpse the image before she turned it around, and now she is just showing me the back of the canvas, where something like 'Jakachibe' is written in large sloppy pencil letters on a wooden crossbar. I say "something like" because the transliteration of the name is even worse than what I've rendered here—there was another 'h' in it somewhere, maybe even a 'q', something more like "Jaqhachibe," but I can't remember precisely—and I have to bite my tongue to refrain from telling her that "Jaqhachibe" doesn't sound like a proper Japanese name and even if it were, it certainly wouldn't be spelled that way in English. I just smile and nod, then turn to the dark-haired woman who has continued to stand by quietly. She tells me her name is "Caroline." After I hear each name, I am repeating it aloud, to better impress it on my memory.

After talking to each of the women in turn, I notice that the young man who had transformed into a goat has returned to his former human appearance. He is of average height, with wavy blonde hair, short but not too short, a bit tousled, and he has a pleasant, open face. He volunteers that his name—in this form—is "Viryec." Or at least, he says something that sounds like that phonetically, but is probably spelled very differently—"Virjece" occurs to me as the most likely possibility—so I start inquiring more about it. He tells me that his name means something like "sincere effort." This rings a bell—both in sound and meaning, it reminds me a lot of the Pali word viriya, which has been on my mind lately, so I ask him if that term has any relationship to his name. Although he and his name both strike me as coming from northern European stock, perhaps there is some ancient Indo-European etymological relationship with the Pali... but before he can reply, I wake up. I don't know why my dreams so often seem to end just before what promises to be some interesting revelation, but here we are again. Still, I'm not that disappointed because I have so much to write down!

Two more lucids to report! One really short one in which I accomplished nothing, and the WILD from last night that was a failure at my own task, but may at least count toward the TotM.

I didn't post my brief failed attempt yesterday, so...

7/10/14

07.10.2014

Onward to Fail (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm talking to my parents, when I reach up to feel my hair and notice that its longer than it should be. It seems to be as long as it was before I cut it short, which means it's well past my shoulders. How could it possibly have gotten so long again?

It couldn't have. This only happens when I'm dreaming, I remind myself. I instantly recall the task that I've already failed at once. I'm supposed to find Dreamer and then find an elevator to Hell. I walk off, starting to call for her, but quickly feel myself losing the dream.

I try to stabilize it... No luck.

I'm pulled into a false awakening.

My problem seems to be that I'm too worried about stabilization, which causes me to think too much of my physical body. Since my attention is more on worrying about waking up, I lose the scene.

7/11/14

07.11.2014

Critter (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

There are three black widow spiders in front of me, having a conversation. They are neutral to my presence. They also seem to be males, which means they're not venomous. Still, I'm not too keen on being bitten, so I am doing my best to get what I need without coming into contact with them.

I reach around their webs, only to be bitten by a different kind of bug. At first I think it's one of the spiders. I jerk my hand back and the bug comes with me. It's this weird blobby thing; I can't really call it an insect because it doesn't have six legs--- it only has four. Still, it's insect-like. It is white and globular; each part of its body looks squishy and balloon-like except for its legs, which are serrated like a grasshopper's. Its body is clearly intended to try to camouflage it as a rabbit. The bug's hind end is equip with blobby extensions made to look like rabbit ears. It's real, insectoid head protrudes from its back. (Although since it seems more like the bug walks upside down and backwards, like a human trying to do a crab walk, I suppose the head is actually protruding from the creature's stomach). It is the size of a small baby rabbit.

((This is the best I could sketch it with my non-existent art skills.))




I stare in awe at the strange creature for a while before I learn it can talk. This surprises me, despite the fact I found talking spiders perfectly normal. His name is Jack and he becomes my friend.

07.11.2014

Journey Toward Hell (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm lying in bed awake with my eyes closed when I feel a slight vibrating feeling that means I'm about to enter sleep. It would be great if I can turn this into a WILD since I wasn't even aiming for that. The vibrations grow stronger, and by the second wave I am fully within sleep paralysis. I figure I can just get up and start the dream. I'm wrong. I open my eyes, but I seem to have opened my physical eyes instead of my dream ones (something that I'm able to do while trapped in SP). When I do, the vibrations feel like they're tearing my head apart. I quickly shut my eyes again.

Surely if I just lie here, it'll HAVE to turn into a dream. I wait, but nothing happens except for more uncomfortable vibrations. I try to move, hoping I can just get up and walk into a dream. I'm completely unable to budge a single muscle, phantom or otherwise. Normally I can imaging rolling out of the bed to get the dream going. This doesn't work either. Maybe WILD isn't the best technique for someone who suffers from chronic sleep paralysis anyway.

Finally, I'm able to lift my dream arm. I grasp around blindly, reaching for something that I can use to pull myself up out of my body. I reach a dresser and finally manage to succeed in untangling myself from the physical world.

I'm standing in my bedroom just in front of the door. I do a quick RC just for good measure, but it's not necessary. I'm already lucid.

I run out the bedroom door, ending up in my childhood home. No way am I going to fail at my task this time! I do my best not to think of the dream ending as I exit my house. It's night time and pitch black outside, unlike in real life where the sun has just barely risen. I sprint across the street toward my neighbor's house. I call out for Dreamer, banging on the door.

The door swings open and a sleepy looking purple-haired girl stands there staring out at me. Finally! Some hint of success! "I found you!" I exclaim in delight. "Now we've got to find an elevator and make it down to Hell!"

I grab her hand and pull her out of the house, trying to convey the necessity for speed. We start to run down the road together, full throttle. "I know where an elevator is," she tells me, seeming to understand what's going on now after her brief confusion. "Follow me!"

As we run down the street, she asks me why I'm asleep at such a strange time. At first I don't understand; then I remember that she lives in Australia. "Oh, right. There's a huge time difference between where you are and where I am," I tell her. "Last time I checked, it was 7:00 in the morning here. That seems like a while ago and my alarm is supposed to go off at 7:30, so we really need to hurry!"

She leads me to a section of the street that never fails to have some kind of evil within my dreams. I hope this time will be different; I don't need any distractions. Dreamer veers to the right toward a farm that used to have donkeys irl. We run through the dark field toward an outhouse-shaped building. Suddenly, an evil looking farmer in a tractor begins riding toward us. I feel a twinge of fear at his appearance, but I ignore it.

We run into the "outhouse" which turns out to be far bigger on the inside than on the outside. I expect there to be an elevator in here. Instead, it's filled with hay and dirt. Dreamer and I climb up and hang from the ceiling like ninja's hoping to hide from the evil farmer. He'll never look up here, I tell myself.

He does. He looks up and sees us as soon as he walks into the building. An evil grin spreads across his face. Once spotted, Dreamer and I drop from the ceiling to face him. The man wordlessly turns and pulls a lever by the door. The floor drops away beneath us--- we're falling into a pit which most likely leads to Hell.

Dreamer gives me a helpful smile. "Does this count as an elevator?" she asks.

I don't think it does. I summon a platform beneath us. It's one of those circular platform elevators that I've only ever seen in video games. There's a vague rumbling noise as the elevator slowly descends deeper and deeper into the ground. It's dark, and there's not much scenery, so I start to become concerned with losing the dream.

"Can't this thing move any faster?" I complain. I run from wall to wall, trying to keep focused on the minimal imagery. It's no use. The dream fades and I have a false awakening.

Pre Bed: 5htp

Did not really do a WBTB, I woke up and laid in bed thinking about dreaming for awhile to try to put myself in the state. I am not sure if this happened right after I woke or as I was falling back to sleep but I kept my awareness as the dream started so I guess this was a wile and I would have to say that this was my first WILD that I know for sure it was actually a WILD.

My thoughts basically got a little strange and then turned into moving pictures, I just had a seedling of awareness I kept. I felt a very short stint of vibrations as I transitioned as well. I think I actually kind of willed a dream to start in a way. I kind of flowed with the dream for a minute or two before I tried to control anything.

I was in a building, maybe an apartment building with a few doors on the inside. It was brown and pretty dim inside, maybe wood flooring. On the doors I noticed pictures of girls, I had a feeling they were ex-girl friends but no one discernible. One door I noticed was open and a brunette girl was half way out the door, she just looked at me. I was headed to the front of the building where the exit was and saw a brick wall in front of me. I decided I would try to jump through it (for some reason I like to try to go through stuff in my lucids, usually not successful though), I went full force into the brick wall and it stopped me like a brick wall, I slid down and was in front of the doors leading out. I was on some city streets, no one around that I noticed. It was dark outside and the streets were kind of dirty like it was not a great part of town. I did an RC to just make sure and it was of course successful. I took to the sky and went up pretty fast pretty quick. I even thought as I went up that I wanted to explore the dream world a little more and not just go go go, but didn't listen to myself. As I was flying up I wanted to stop in the air to see where I was and find somewhere to go to but it seemed I could not slow down, I looked up and decided to just fly as fast as I could straight up. So I sped up even more and saw the moon, I tried to slow down and change direction to go to the moon but couldn't. I decided oh well I guess Ill try for the alien planet TOTM since I am up here. I then flew faster than I had before straight into the starts. I looked up and imagined a red planet and saw a speck of one, I looked ahead again and imagined the red speck much closer and I looked up, I came up on about 5 or 6 planets very fast and again I could not slow down. As I wizzed passed them I realized they were our solar system planets, at least Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, not sure if there were any others. I decided to give up on local planets and continued flying into space to find a different set of planets. I was thinking that it was quite a ways away and even partially tried the same thing I did with imagining a planet coming up but nothing came. I flew for a bit longer but lost the dream.

7/5/14

Only slept four hours the night before since I couldn't sleep. Had to wake up the next morning early to watch my mom's dogs since she's on vacation. Took a nap on the couch, but didn't have much time since I had lunch planned with my grandpa.

Laid in supine position, knowing that it'd increase my chances of a WILD (Also, was more comfortable this way). Took a while to fall asleep.

11:30 a.m. WILD

I realized I was dreaming when I waved my hand in front of my face and couldn't see it (heard of this RC check in an article about False Awakenings, which used survey results from three different lucid dreaming websites, including DreamViews!). I heard a repetitive, slightly scary auditory hallucination, but couldn't change it, despite my attempt to change it to a pleasant song. I didn't mind the auditory hallucination, since I was too excited. I could feel my body lifting up (first time experiencing this sensation) like I was going to float and it felt really nice and pleasant.

I also at one point felt myself losing the ability to swallow, and remembered that's a sign of a WILD. I think this was before I did the RC.

Unfortunately, didn't last long and I woke up shortly after without getting the chance to explore my dream. Didn't leave the couch in my dream.

This was the first time experiencing a WILD without feeling fear. I feel my control of my emotions and rationalization is getting stronger in my lucid dreams.

I was half awake half asleep when i decided to try a Wild but there were no visual, just darkness (since my eyes were closed ) so i decided to go directly for my experiment and ask CAN I SEE GOD and my body started to life physically slowly and haphazardly , i was going up and down with touching the ground and up to the bed and down again for a while , i asked forcefully again only to hear some strange noises. then i waked up to find out .
1- I was dreaming when i though i was half awake half asleep.
2- Although i was dreaming there was no picture .
3- I felt physically lifted but when i wake up i found out it was also part of the dream although it felt so real.
4-When i woke up i was still in a dream .
What do you classify this thing i experienced ?

5/28/14

Although this LD was short, it was a very unique experience and I'm excited to share it! Also, it was my first successful WILD

I woke up at 5:15 a.m., (which was fine, as I had intended for 5:30) did my standard set of RC's, and after deeming I was awake, attempted a WILD. Within a few minutes of laying still I felt vibrations and then I heard a sound as if both my ear drums had been pierced by a high-pressure stream of air. This air made a ringing whistle sound, and I got too excited. Then the noise faded away. So I tried again, and the noise and vibrations came back. Then I heard a voice say to me, "Stay calm just ignore the signs, you're almost in the dream."

In a few moments my dream eyes opened and I was lying on a couch in a dark apartment room. I stood up and noticed in the corner to my left, a bizarre looking man was lying on a large crate smiling at me. I suppose in waking life he would have been extremely creepy, even borderline terrifying, but I instinctively knew that he was the one that told me to be calm and helped me get into the dream. He had jet-black skin and was bald and had a cartoonishly large mouth and then he spoke to me again. "Explore this apartment while you can, your REM cycle is almost over." So I walked around taking in the realism of the dream but in a few moments I woke up into what would turn into a FA, but I didn't recognize it.

5/25/14 DEILD, WILD, DILD between clear awakenings ~4am 7am 8:30am

5/27/14 2 Nap DILDs between awakenings and NLDs- day off wake from each around 10am & 11am; shutters in odd place, good waking awareness

I think the return of multiple LDs in a night is due to the self-hypnosis script that StephL posted and so far I have used only once but I think it was more effective for me due to the over 1 year of background work on self-awareness and other lucid dreaming fundamentals...I guess we'll see.

I hope to fill in the details later but Girl Friday was there a lot.

I'm scared that I may start to nap too much. I never had much success with naps and to have 2 DILDs in one 2 hour nap session this morning could draw me in to more naps.

5/24/14!*

WILD! Very nice love making session with Girl Friday. I wake up after about 6 hours and I'm very tired but try to wake myself up more first with a little weirdness induction and then just thinking about lucid dreams & my recent boldness initiated lucid dreams. It takes me a little while 2 get back to sleep partly because I tried without my earplugs thinking I was still plenty drowsy and then put them in after a while. Yesterday I start to re-read the open beta exercises but didn't quite get to exercise 2 and I also did the self hypnosis script from Steph's posting about 30 minutes before bed. This is supposed to be quick notes. Anyway the WILD. I am doing my version of SSILD and periodically break off from it to attempt to drift toward sleep but returned to the cycles several times. Eventually I get the feeling of my wife moving in to cuddle from the back and not sure if it is HHs but I feel like I'm close and try not to engage with her physically IWL and I start to get vibrations, I was wondering where the vibrations have gone. I guess I haven't been focusing on WILDs. Anyway I start to nudge on the vibrations but then remembered my plan to remain patient through them and I can tell that they are the stronger kind, the pre-dream kind. At first I get the sensation of being in an ocean again and there is a light blue glowing all around me kind of like the ocean but more floating in the air than anything else with slight ocean sensations. It is quite nice! Like last time I decided I did not want to be in the deep part of the ocean away from shore but instead the scene fades back to my bedroom but I can still tell I am in dreamland. A female outline starts to appear and patiently watch as she materializes but she takes a couple of different forms of different women before finalizing on Girl Friday. At one point she looks like my wife and I went to caress her and start to remove her clothes with foreplay etc and I could see that she
started changing again at first she look like generic version of Girl Friday and I think that's when Girl Friday started to materialize as I realized it looked kind of like her. We start to kiss passionately and slowly remove one item of clothing after another. When we get to removing our bottom underwear the excitement intensifies but I continue to take it slow and enjoy this realistic interaction...nothing else exists for the moment! I reach down and caress her moist flower. After enjoying that for a few moments, I insert while looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes and kiss her some more. She has a look on her face like she thinks I am too large and I ask if she is okay as I want to keep this realistic and romantic. She looks half worried, half excited. I say that it is okay if she is sore the next day as long as nothing and I stop myself from saying anything more or visualizing it lest it happens. We continue on and I think about my
conversations about kissing and looking at the face at the same time during a dream and it is working just fine and enhances the experience as usual but this time I really think about it as I am doing it. As we are going at on the floor I can hear my wife back up on the bed moving around and I think about a dutchraptor style lucidity test and consider calling out to my wife to tell her what I'm up to and maybe have her join us...who knows, she might be excited by the idea...at least in the dreamworld...probably not advisable anywhere else. I then think, what if I end up talking in my sleep so I tell GF to tell my wife what we are up to and she does...she says "We are making love" in a shy voice with a look of love on her face. I feel a rush of romantic love-like feelings. Not long after I find myself back in bed and smiling big and my wife notices and I turn my affection towards her. 148

5/19/14* Short version: walking in a hallway I have a boldness initiated lucid dream (DILD where I get the urge to be bold with a passing woman and realize that it is a dream). I immediately think of my time stopping pocket watch idea from a Twilight Zone episode and I commence to use it to do various depravities to various women. It only freezes the DC's in the immediate vicinity of me and sometimes I have to press down on the pocket watch twice for it to work. I also comically expose myself while flying by some of the ladies. Two ladies turn into like Barbie dolls with no features down there. I run into a family and the mother is only one that won't freeze with my special pocket watch and she chastises me and asks are you really going to do this and I do, pulling up her shirt and feeling on her breasts but I did feel kind of bad afterwards even though this is all a dream, it felt like she had a point. Perhaps I should just enjoy exploring like the two wonderful recent dreams I had but I feel like I should experiment with this time stopping technique again...maybe in preparing for a fight or deciding what action to take...hmmm... This one lasted maybe 5 minutes. 147

I'm taking a nap midday and i notice im falling into a dream so I tell myself to focus, but not too hard to wake myself. I feel the dream washing over

as I lay in bed. I notice that I have a package in my hands, containing some extraordinary looking thing. Wait, the package I ordered shouldn't be coming for another couple weeks! I realize that I'm dreaming but my vision starts going. quickly, I recall stabilization and I focus on the package in my hands as I lay in bed. it's about 8 inches long and maybe 4 in on each side, cardboard, with packing tape to seal it. I open one end and remove the item, which I decide is going to basically act as a portal gun. It's enclosed in bubble wrap, and removing that I see that it resembles two black tubes with many coloured wires and bound with electrical tape. Yes, I will be taking this with me on my semi lucid adventure. I run out of my bedroom and into the hall where there is a large plastic storage container on the ground. I try to use this as a teleporter by lifiting it, diving under, and having it close on top of me on the way in, but I doubt it will work because my body is too long and my legs will get stuck. this doubt ends up interfering with the teleportation so I give another try at spinning or falling back. I cant recall which I did, but I manage to teleport this time. I wanted to go to some south american ruins, but I end up in a backyard. It's fall and brisk out. This isnt what I wanted... So I try to fly away, but there is more doubt in my mind, being in this semi lucid state. I manage to jump fairly high, at least one story, and I give a flap of my arms to lift me a bit higher, but no flight happens. damnit

I wake
and realized I totally forgot about the teleporter I got in dream mail...

From 17/05

Bf wakes up for a quick bathroom visit. In the meantime, I'm trying to fall asleep and end up wilding in the bedroom. Everything is very blurry and I'm a bit surprised to be here so fast. I take a moment to examine my hand and move it around to make sure this is a dream and not HI. A little bit of trouble manoeuvring around possibly feeling minor paralysis feedback from my real body. In spite of the blurriness, it gives me the impression of an OBE, everything is the same and the light in the room is exactly the same as during that time. I head down the corridor and towards the bathroom thinking that bf will come out any moment now. He comes out and sees me, looking rather distressed and backs away. I start worrying about what he thinks he sees and me causing all this stress so I decide to wake up immediately and explain.

I wake up. Bf still hasn't come out.

I appeared in Bratislava(120km from home) and I was walking down the street. It was night. Street was crowded(unusual for me to see more than ~5 people in LD). I looked suddenly forward and there was a friend of mine walking. She was dragging a drunken man. I asked her whether she want to help. She looked at me without acknowledging me, so I walked around her and away. Then I looked back at her. It looked like she was getting old very fast. And has more and more problem to drag that man. The man slowly changed the complexion to unusually red one. But I respected her wish to be let alone.
At once I saw myself from her perspective. I looked younger, much younger than I'm now, with strange side-whiskers. It seemed that around me was shining very dark blue-violet aura and I was not walking on the ground, but a few cm above. I felt her thoughts... she felt longing, regret. From her point of view there was no man... she wasn't dragging anybody with her.

I think, the man was symbol of something what is dragging her down, but she doesn't want to be helped with her problems. I didn't communicate with her for very long time... But then, I had a few foretelling LD and OBE's

This was the first night I attempted to WILD. If birds normally chirp at around 2:30 AM, I experienced no notable hypnagogia except for some pressure that came very suddenly. This didn't startle me much, though, since I've experienced it before in meditation. Anyways, the dream.

I wanted to create my own setting of a cool forest clearing on a cloudy morning, but I guess I didn't imagine it vividly enough because the dream setting I was in was a suburban neighborhood. It was still cool and cloudy, though, like I'd wanted it to be. I physically and lucid-ly ran around and played with the neighborhood's children; nothing notable happened. I got bored after a while and let myself slip into sort of a 3rd person point of view to where I was aware of myself but watching dream-me go about her actions. Eventually I shifted back into 1st person after playing cards with my dad, and woke myself up to write the dream down in my IRL dream journal.

I'm confident that my WILDs will become clearer if I imagine a familiar place and continue to practice. I have a choir audition tomorrow, so I plan to try and practice / roleplay that tonight.