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I think I am at work, but I am outside. It seems like I’m on the side of a two lane highway, and I think there are others here as well as a smaller building. I am walking through a small winding section where there is a white curtain/sheet hanging down. I hold it up for the few people behind me. The last two are a black couple that I recognize as shoplifters from JCP. The man sort of slipped by, but I saw the woman clearly, prompting me to look at the man again. (I’m not sure I actually recognize the woman - she is older, short, pudgy, with short hair). She looks mean and somewhat guilty. They keep walking, but I go up to them and tell them they can’t be here. We seem to be in a hallway, and they’re on the threshold of a room (it looks more like a house?). They don’t care what I say, and we end up cussing at each other. I grab at one of their backpacks, and it seems like the man is about to hit me. I give up and step away so I can just call PD. I am just going to call 911, but I can’t figure out how on this phone. The phone is small and has a small display. I scroll through the contacts and can’t find PD, which irritates me. I eventually find it and call, but it tells me the mailbox is full and hangs up on me. I guess nothing is going to happen then. A nice looking Hispanic family is walking this way now. I notice that the girl (probably around 8) is carrying two new looking somethings and covertly puts them into their car. The rest of the family members are carrying what looks like camping gear that they definitely didn’t pay for. I think the dad sees me looking and says to me “did you see that eagle?” because one flew by. I say yes, but don’t like how he’s trying to play off what they’re doing. I’m mad about this whole situation, but guess there’s nothing I can do. The other couple is coming out now. I try to get the plate on their orange car but can’t before they speed away.

I am hanging out with co-workers and getting to know somebody who’s apparently just been hired. Her name is Marie, and she’s from Canada. In addition to working here, she’s a grad student working on a music degree, which she's now almost done with. She's currently working on the composition that will be her thesis. She shows it to me – via some sort of electronic device, I think.

The music is notated on manuscript paper, but instead of the usual note shapes, there are little horizontal rectangles that stretch out for as long as the note is held, rather like a midi display. The inside of each rectangle is patterned in ways that indicate something about the music. I hear it in my head as I read, with the patterns calling up images and connotations in relation to it.

The first bar begins with two long Gs an octave apart played by instruments in the violin family – I don’t identify them explicitly in the dream, but given that it’s written in the bass clef, almost certainly cellos. The rectangles contain the patterns signifying darkness and light. The impression this makes is hard to describe. Poignant, maybe – a suggestion of a cavernous space vast enough to hold them both at once. It continues, but I can’t remember the part after that so well.

16.5.20

I’m going to go to Melissa’s after work, I think for Valentine’s day. After I’m done (not sure where) I walk to the house, which seems close. The house is very upscale, large, and with lots of stone. When I get inside I discover that all of the lights are out, so I figure everyone is sleeping. It was light outside but it is near pitch black inside. I start down a foyer or hallway, which is the only place with even a hint of natural light filtering in. I go through a living room and stumble into a couch, then use it to guide myself. Despite my slight miscalculation on the couch, I seem to know exactly where to go. Now, I’m in the backseat of a car in the garage here. Melissa is in the driver’s seat, Alex in the passenger’s. I’m thinking that they’re just getting back from somewhere, but they’re actually going out to see the sunset. The garage door is open and behind me I can see the sunset through some trees and houses. The sun looks halfway sunken on the horizon, shrouded in oranges, yellows, and thin clouds. I end up telling Melissa that I didn’t bring an extra pair of clothes but that I might not worry about going to get some tonight since I’ll be going home in the morning. I tell her I’ve barely worn this shirt and that the shorts are fine too (*I think I am envisioning the same clothes I was wearing at her house yesterday). She makes a comment about the underwear still being the same. We are walking around this neighborhood and pass what looks like Scott with a much younger Shannon and I think a small dog. I end up at a swimming pool with an infant (about six months old and mine). I’m swimming at the shallow edge and the boy is up on the tile. I’m not being negligent though; I am watching him. There are about two women here, and he’s playing with one of their iced drink Starbucks cups. I have him bring it to her and he does. He’s cute and we’re all laughing and smiling. He looks very similar to me as a child that age.

In the earliest part of the dream I can remember well, I’m with a group of people from work. We’re in a house rather than an office, a mostly empty one that’s not in the best condition and which strikes me as reminiscent of somewhere in the past (it's not a vague memory in the dream – rather, my waking self can’t pin it down to anywhere familiar). There’s something in the way everything is happening that suggests we’re maintaining order in the midst of a chaotic situation and extemporizing as necessary. Some disaster has struck the world – although it seems less like this is the aftermath than that it was so bad that what remained of humanity actually had to flee to some sort of parallel dimension.

Kate, the director, tells us we should all go outside to see something. Stepping out of the house, I can see what looks like a large town square across the street, round-ish in shape, possibly cobbled. Above the old-fashioned buildings on the opposite side, the sky is turning pink and purple in a certain area. In the middle of it, a black spot appears, clearly visible against the light. I recognize it, as does everybody there: this was what happened before, the thing that came and destroyed the world.

But something is different this time: instead of appearing large and far away, the spot now seems to be quite close, in the square itself. Somehow, I know that I can make things turn out differently this time around. I run towards it, the others not far behind.

The dark sphere is floating there, too high to jump for but close to a flagpole on the far side. I scale it. The flag, which is dark blue, isn’t flying – rather, it seems to be tied to the pole, and (on later reflection) entirely too large for it. The thing actually looks more like a mast than a flagpole. But I manage to make it up with no trouble until I'm level with the sphere. It’s very small now, smaller than a cotton ball. I reach out and grab it, enclosing it in my hand.

The moment I touch it, it changes, becoming material, taking on a definite shape. It has become a key on a keyring.

I know what to do now: the keyhole can’t be too far away. I actually find it on the way back down, on the base of the pole. I put it in and turn, and keep turning. And as I do, something is happening to the building closest to the pole: the whole façade is unfolding, revealing a large airplane inside. It looks like a typical jet, but in the dream, it strikes me like something out of another era, concealed here for who knows how long.

A dirty, light brown liquid is pooled near the nose. An inner voice that seems to belong to the plane itself tells me that it needs an oil change. I think that it probably needs rather more than that, considering how long it’s been here. But I’m aware that this situation is out of my hands now. It will be others who fix it up and who make use of it somehow to avert disaster. I’ve done what I can.

10.5.20

I think I am outside somewhere with Jake. The area seems to be pretty barren, and there may be only one other person here. Jake is showing me what he does for work. This entails a sheet with a picture on it that is broken up into small rectangles by a grid. I think the picture is some machine with a slide/chute set against an empty landscape like the one we’re on. His job is to categorize each rectangular segment. I see a cheat sheet, I think with the sections filled in green, orange, or red. It seems to be that almost anyone can do this simple processing of information, though I think some of the sections are specialized terms, which worries me, though I know they’ll come to be understood in the course of the job. I think of working outside, envisioning my current wardrobe and what it may lack, and like the thought. I think of how it’s probably the same thing day after day, but push the thought aside.




I am scrambling on a slabby rock face. I intended to come down after a certain height, but it is so easy that I continue. There is a loose feeling flake towards the top; I just try not to pull too hard on it.

I am at work (it is some store, but not mine), when I notice a short, pudgy black lady come in that I instantly get bad vibes from. She has a large and empty looking tote bag that rolls behind her and is wearing flip flops. My first thought is that she’ll be heading for the shoes to load up her bag and put on a new pair since there’s no way she’s really wearing flip flops in this colder weather. I follow her a bit, trying to impress upon her that she is obvious and is being watched, but she easily deflects everything I say to her. Now I think I have to leave her for a while because it is busy with shoplifters or there is something else to do and it is just me here. When I come back to her, I see that she is leaving the shoe section and heading towards the front doors. I can see a shoe box in her bag (definitely not the only one either) and see that she has a new pair of what looks like Vans on. I ‘customer service’ her as much as I can, stopping just short of calling her out, because I wasn’t watching her the whole time. I say something about getting the box for the shoes she is wearing, but she is still not having it. She avoids me all the way to the door, when I get in front of her and tell her to come back. She is with a younger girl now and they both take off running. They go to the left and into a WinCo. I stop at the doors and watch as they’re lost among all the people.

I am back at work after having been gone for a few days. I take the elevator up, noticing that it’s different. There is a different interior of different colored panels and maybe a different floor. One of the small ceiling panels is popped open and there is a ladder left under it. I peer up into the space, right before the elevator settles at the second floor. Walking into reception, I see Princess and Mairin. No one says anything, but we smile at each other as I walk through. I briefly think that Mairin will think I’m already going to the bathroom or break room, but I’m going to the known theft. I don’t see the bin, but there’s a bunch of stuff strewn on the floor. I start consolidating shoe boxes, papers, tags, and a lot of brand new pairs of shoes which I grab by the security lanyard. I don’t get why they keep putting merchandise in here, and I think I really need to start telling everyone not to. I think I put everything in a cart and end up outside with it. Emmanuel is out here and talking to me; he is not exactly annoying, but I feel like I can’t relate all that well to him. For some reason I am transferring the things to another cart? This cart is also up in the back of a truck. I also add two or three sodas (orange and in plastic bottles) to the basket part of the cart. I then lift it out and set it down and push the other, empty cart off towards the concrete base of a light post (there are two other empty carts haphazardly left by it). We walk back now and end up awkwardly close to an old lady with a cane walking the same speed. When we get to the doors, she, for some reason, holds it open for us. I’m thinking now that I’ve got this done I can go back to the office and listen to some music. I consider Pink Floyd and maybe something that’s around an hour and a half so I can maybe listen to a few. Inside, this looks more like a high school hallway. It’s fairly crowded. The associate Jared comes up to me and asks me what to do if he thinks a kid switched shoes. I ask how old, trying to gauge intent. He then sees the kid approaching and nods towards him. He looks to be at least ten. He has his hood up, looks somewhat sketchy, and I think is also carrying his old shoes. I’m honestly not sure if he’s trying them on or trying to switch, but I am distracted by a girl who is clearly trying to walk out with our shoes. She has two huge groups of them, one in each hand, holding them all easily by the security lanyards. She’s wearing a tracksuit, and I think I recognize her from trying to do this before. I turn around and start walking out in front of her. I take my radio and turn the dial where she can see it. I wait outside, for some reason facing away from the doors, but never hear her come out. *As I am waiting, I am woken up by my alarm going off.

I am at work with Laynie, though this place looks completely different. It is two stories and mostly an atrium space. It seems that the mezzanine floor branches off into the shopping spaces. There are sets of double doors to the outside right below the mezzanine floor. We are interrupted by me noticing a known shoplifter coming in the doors. He is carrying a bag and dragging another rolling one, and I recognize him as one of the two guys that gets a few pairs of Levi’s every few days. I think we just wait to see what he does and then lose him for a bit (it’s fairly busy in here). When he reappears, he is on the ground floor, bag a little fuller, heading for the doors. I start sliding down some wide, green pole type thing. He starts to double back so I hesitate and then finish sliding down when he starts back for the doors. I guess I don’t feel like stopping him but just getting a plate. He glances around before going out right behind a small group, going off at the doors. I think he notices me going out right behind him, but probably thinks I’m just a customer. I take out my phone and call Laynie but it is Dad who answers. I only pay a little bit of attention to the conversation as I’m watching the guy meet up with the other outside of a white van. I think it has Arizona plates, and I can’t memorize it without drawing too much attention to myself. I keep walking past it to blend in and notice two vans to my right. They both have Grateful Dead stickers and are parked close together; I think they must be together. The cars have thinned out by this point and I stop walking. I stand for a little and then head back. The white van starts pulling out and I think I’ll get a great look at the plate, until it turns and starts coming this way, the wrong way (with no front plate). The man driving it has tan skin and scruff and is either bald or has very short hair. He glances at me as he passes and I wonder if he’s seen me before and recognizes me. I now see the other guy walking away from a maroon car. He has a backpack on and is going back into the mall. I just about step in front of a taxi in the road, but he sees me, stops, and waves me forward. I wave back, slightly self conscious of being on the phone and not paying attention. I hang up and meet up with Laynie inside. We, and quite a few other people, are on the second floor, sitting. We are sitting in what almost feels like bus seats arranged in a circle or half circle around the mezzanine/atrium. Two younger, Hispanic guys in grey/darker hoodies and beanies arrive, and one starts shooting off a handgun. There are windows next to our seats, which he shoots out. I think he is shooting above heads to scare, but I don’t rule out the possibility of him shooting to injure or kill. I listen to the shots ring out, more than there should be in a pistol’s magazine. He makes his way back this way and I brace for the possibility of getting shot. He announces that this is because the two men thought they noticed someone following them. I genuinely think that must’ve been someone other than me. He says something about a Hyundai and then trails off, probably realizing it wasn’t smart to give away the make of car. He seems like he is being made to do this. I think the world, and now even this town, is becoming a scary place.

I am at work and talking to Bobby. I think whatever he says is dumb and irritates me. We are in front of people, and I think the tension in our conversation is evident. Now, I’m back in the camera room and working on whatever dumb thing he wants me to work on.




I am outside somewhere with Melissa. We are in or by some body of water. There is a small cliff face of soil? (maybe 10-30 feet) rising at various heights from the water. I think there are also some branches that you can swing from. I do so, landing by Melissa in the water. I think there is music playing too (Coldplay?), and there is a strong sense of bliss.

I am at work with Laynie and Matt and Sara. The lights are off and so are all of the monitors. Matt and Sara are watching a horror movie on a laptop. I’m not sure if Laynie and I are watching too - I think we’re just sitting there and doing literally nothing. I then hear a set of keys and footsteps outside the door and know it must be the store manager. I quickly try to turn a monitor or two on, but it’s too late. She comes in to the lights off and the one monitor powering up and the others off. We don’t even have to say anything before she makes a comment about not being able to believe that we aren’t doing anything. She then walks out, shutting the door pretty hard behind her. I feel slightly bad and guilty.

I am driving up to what looks like some event outside of a school or something similar when I notice Makayla and Mom walking this way on the sidewalk. My window is down and it seems like a very pleasant day. Makayla is holding an imperial pint glass that looks like it is full of very light Guinness or nitro cold brew. I roll up to her and the first thing I say is “my goodness… my Guinness.” She says it’s actually some flavored iced coffee (hazelnut?). I try a sip and it’s really frothy and not all that bad. I think I already have an iced coffee as well. I realize that I’m in the middle of the road and start moving again. There is one intersecting road to the right where I am going to try to turn around, but I think someone has already gone around me.




I am at work when I notice a sketchy person heading towards the men’s shoes. I think he already has some merchandise and a small, empty looking, black plastic bag. When we see him turn the corner again, the merchandise is gone and the bag looks full. We agree that this makes him good to stop, so I try to get downstairs before he does. I do this pretty easily and get by the door that it looks like he is going for. I try to look inconspicuous, and when I look back I see that Bobby is right by him, talking to him, still in the store. I wonder what he could possibly be doing, until I see him start walking him back. This really irritates me. Back in the office, the guy is hesitant but compliant. He seems homeless. He says his name is Kenneth Cox and that he is 46? I get all the paperwork done before calling PD. I ask his birth date, realizing I’ll need it, and he says something like ‘5 o’clock’. He keeps giving me bullshit answers, and I can’t tell if it’s on purpose or if he’s just not all there. I realize he doesn’t have an ID, so PD’s going to have to come anyway. I think of how they may need video and how Bobby stopped him while he was still in the building, which irritates me more.

I am walking the floor at work when I notice the guy we’ve trespassed many times. He has on a big black coat, sunglasses, and a hat. He is also pushing a cart and has a few bags. I think he notices me and slowly turns. I go up to him, telling him to leave. I’m not sure if he is or not. There’s someone from mall security here (we’re right outside the Sephora) who is dressed more like a police officer. I turn to him, asking isn’t there anything he can do. He just says no. I become kind of angry and start cussing at the shoplifter.




I’m sitting at the table at Mom’s with a female police officer when a shoplifter shows up. I think he already has a warrant or citation or something like that. He walks in of his own accord, wearing a black shirt and hat. I hesitate and then walk up to him. He takes his wallet out and puts it on the couch. He then pulls out a pocket knife and holds it up to my neck. It is closed but I think it’s a switchblade. I am frozen, not knowing what to do. I think the cop finally says something and he puts it down. I almost think he was kidding around but also think that could have become serious very quickly. He turns around and I put handcuffs on him and walk him back to the table. I go through his wallet and ask him what he did/why he’s here today. He’s not really answering, and the cop’s not really helping either.

I am at work (though it looks nothing like it - it almost seems like office spaces next to a parking garage). I think I park and walk in, noticing two men that look like they would steal. One is wearing a backpack and heads upstairs. The other stays apart, possibly trying to make it look like they’re not together. I head to the office and see him unknowingly standing not that far from the door. I see the label on his blue jeans, trying for some reason to memorize the size, before I hurry into the office.

I am at work watching cameras when I see two kids with backpacks walk up to the Levis section. I think they’re both girls. One appears to hang a pair from the handle on her backpack so it is laying between her backpack and back. I think the other just puts a pair or two in her backpack. They then quickly head downstairs. It was all weird and quick, but it’s still enough to stop them, so I go onto the floor in case they leave right away. They do end up leaving quickly, and I am a little behind them. It is very dark outside. There are two Sephora employees walking together that throw me off for a second until I see the kids ahead of them (now a girl and boy). They see me and start running, and I have to chase them. I ask for some backup but it seems no one comes. I think Laynie and someone else are working. I catch up to the kid and tackle him, despite the policy. I think I end up getting the girl too. I ask Laynie what she’s doing and she just says “watching PTZs”, which irritates me. I am talking to the boy and he seems young (6 or so?). Without prompt, he tells me that they are runaway kids. I know we’ll have to get PD involved. He says he is 11 when I ask his age. I figure his birth date at 2009, but write 2007 at first. The kid actually tells me something impossible very confidently, characteristic of younger kids, like the day, two different numerical months, and the year. I write what he says, just to have it all down on paper. In blue ink, I cross out the 2007 and a few other things. I think about redoing the whole sheet later. The whole situation is stressful.

I am at work when a chubby blond lady abruptly asks me where something is (a movie, I think). I am slightly irritated because I am not even dressed like a sales associate. I go to look for her, opening a door by the emergency exit by the men’s shoes. It leads to a huge, depressed, concrete area with a ton of racks (or shelves?) The movie that she asked for starts with a letter close to the beginning of the alphabet, so I figure it will be easy to look for. I am now walking around the sales floor and notice that I am wearing a White Chapel band shirt. There is a graphic and the band name above it in a white and almost cursive font. It all seems faint or worn. I open the same door again and see that there are a lot less racks/shelves… until I notice that they are actually cars and the area is a parking lot. I think I walk into it with the associate Julie.