2019, 09-30 Skyrim: The Alex Mercer Mod Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes I am in my car with my ex-boyfriend James. We are on our way to work. We must be on some kind of business trip because we also have a hotel room where we will be staying. We arrive and the office is right next to the hotel. When we go to the hotel we find out that our room is on the opposite side of the hotel from the office. I find that annoying because it is a big hotel and it will take a while to make the walk. I drive us to the right area and park right in front of the room. We go inside and find it is a nice room. James changes clothes right there as if we were still together. I go change in the bathroom. Fortunately there are two beds and they are separated by a temporary wall like those that often separate office cubicles. After we are done changing we head for the office. It is a long walk. I break off to make a visit to the restroom. I find that some people are giving out free food, it is a service of the hotel. They are almost out but I am able to get a chicken drumstick and some potatoes for my breakfast. It doesn’t strike me as odd that they serve fried chicken and potatoes for breakfast. I go to the office where we will be working. I see James is jealous of my fried chicken breakfast. He says he will get some but I tell him they were almost out. He seems annoyed. I turn on my computer and get prompted to continue my setup in virtual reality. I see a VR headset on my desk. I pick it up and put it on… Now I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason this doesn’t seem odd to be playing Skyrim VR at work. And what a great VR headset! It looks like the laboratory of a mad scientist. Right in front of me is a Thalmor that looks like he has somehow been assimilated by the Borg. He says his name is Archeron. I make fun of him, imitating his voice and saying, “I am Archeron of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.” He says he doesn’t know what Borg is or about being assimilated, but I am right in that resistance is futile. He says I must be the new arrival who will help him break the tower faster. The Dark Tower? This asshole wants to break the Dark Tower? I say I will never help him. He can go fus himself. Archeron laughs and says I will be much more cooperative after my lobotomy. I fus him right in his Borg face. FUS-RO-DAH! Nothing happens. I do a double take. Archeron says he has already modified himself beyond being affected by such things. I ask if he’s immune to being sliced in two. He says no sword in Skyrim can harm him. I say I don’t use swords from Skyrim… I use swords from Prototype. He asks a prototype of what? I answer, “Alex Mercer.” I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and tell him I’ve had a few modifications of my own, I’m no longer a mere Breton, I am an unstoppable virus! He is trying to figure out what that means when I use my Alex Mercer blade to slice him from his left shoulder down to his right hip, effectively cutting him in two. The look on his face when he dies is one of disbelief. I want to keep playing, but everything fades to black and I wake up.
I am at work (though it doesn’t really look like it - it does look like a retail store, but not necessarily JCPenney). It feels like I am upstairs, and I am with two unfamiliar others, one guy and one girl. We are sitting and playing a board game. The board is larger and sitting atop something. I think there are a few pieces, one being a longer, black piece of food (like a brownie?) Apparently when it is your turn you tell another player what to do and they are supposed to do it. I say this because the guy has told me to go count all the hangers in the store, and I am going to do it. I think it’s going to be hard to impossible but that’s just how the game works. I start on it, in what looks like the hallway to our employee entrance. I am counting and thinking of a strategy to not miss any when I see Mairin putting out some new clothes. They are men’s long sleeve button ups, in blues with subtle patterns, and I kind of like them. She is telling me and one other something as she fills an empty rack with a handful of the shirts. Now, a black man comes in and asks a simple question. I answer it, and he is super excited and impressed with me. On his way out, he gives me a pretty long hug. I had went for a handshake, but adjusted to a hug. He tells me thanks again, etc. I call him brother, and then hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way - it seems like he doesn’t. He asks if I like some orange beer? I’m not sure at first but then he specifies and I realize what he’s talking about and say “oh yeah.” He leaves and comes back in with a bottle of one and a glass. He gives them both to me, and I notice the glass has a little bit of what looks like peanut butter inside of it. I think that it’s gross and it’s probably just been sitting in his car or something, but that it’s a very kind gesture. I am in some kind of cabin. There is a counter to order food and large paper menus hanging above it. I have to get kind of close to the counter to read the menu, and the younger looking employees are all looking to me as if I’m ready to order. To signal that I’m not quite ready, I start looking at the bookshelf below the counter. I notice a few stacks of books, one stack being maroon and antiquated looking books. I notice that every other ‘book’ isn’t really shaped like a book, but more like a box for a nice pen or something that shape. It looks like they’re in a series or all go together. I notice a girl off to the left poke a note out from behind something sort of secretly. I assume the note will be something about me ordering food. I go over and she hands me a different note, a full size paper. I glance at it, having no idea what it could be about. I think it could be about me or that it could be some kind of petition. I just fold it and hold onto it to look at it later. I am at a small (rock?) beach at what looks like a large, clear pond. Emmy’s mom? sits next to me, and I notice Emmy swimming. I want to show her a picture of Makayla because they look so similar. As I talk to her, I am forgetting Emmy’s name, but remember it right before I have to use it.
I am at work when Charmi comes to visit. It almost looks more like a house. Scott is here and begrudgingly gets up to get the door for her. He opens it and immediately turns away from her. He talks to her detachedly but doesn’t really look at her. He is sitting and, for whatever reason, I notice his mustache moving slightly as he speaks. Now I think it is just Charmi and me. She asks if it’s been pretty slow, slightly derogatorily. Just as I say ‘yes’, I notice a group of two girls and one guy about my age what definitely look like they’re trying to steal. They all look clean cut and put together, but I notice the one girl carrying a stack of Levis and wearing a pretty full looking bag. The other girl is carrying a small armful of merchandise as well. They are just past what seems to be an opening in the floor for an escalator. I think they notice me eyeing and walking towards them. I walk up to them and don’t even need to say anything before they start tossing the merchandise down onto shelves and displays and walking out. I sort of wander around now and just so happen to walk up on the guy coming back in, on the phone. He notices me, but continues walking and walking with only a slight hesitation. I hear him casually say that he’s just gotten pinched/fucked? (or neither of those, but something similar?) I wonder if he is really trying to come back for something. I am with Melissa in what seems to be the ocean, right about where the waves are breaking. We are waiting for them to come in and are riding them for a ways before going back out to catch another. It is simple yet fun. A few big ones start coming in and I fear that they’ll break on us, but they do not. The beach is a slightly sloped expanse of golden sand, upon which I notice only our towels and stuff set up. Everything seems to be lit, though the sky seems to be dark.
I seem to be at work when I answer a call about a girl in white what is following someone into the men’s restroom. I go to check it out, going downstairs, I think on an escalator. This place looks like a retail store, but sort of tall, thin, and cluttered. I now see the entrance to the restrooms, with large pieces of dark wood giving a dim but home-y cabin feel. I enter the men’s, which is on the right. The bathroom is huge and spacious. There are at least two separate spaces with lines of urinals along the stone? walls, each space with a different kind of urinal. The ones closer to me are stone, while I think the others might be steel. I walk up to a stone one and begin using it. It is long and low, sort of a stone rectangle with a basin. I start peeing on the stone above the basin, wondering how many have done the same before. I think there may be one other guy in here, as I seem to hear or sense motion. I look around, thinking about how this bathroom is at least the size of a large room (like in a public building or something; it’s probably the size of a small restaurant). I look around and leave a different way than I came in. I walk up an asphalt path on a slight hill. There are wooden picnic style tables on either side, some with remnants of meals. The whole area is covered by a shade structure, probably some kind of mesh or light tarp, as it is not very thick shade. Passing one table, I notice a tall glass with a handle that is still mostly full of something that is a chocolate milkshake color and consistency. I somehow see a review that they left of it, about how they didn’t like it? I think about trying it but don’t. I now pass an ice cream stand and think about getting some but don’t because it’s too expensive.
I think I am at work, maybe in the mall? There is a lady at a kiosk or shop with whom I’ve gotten into some kind of verbal altercation. I think it is not unjustified. I am saying something about how it’s the worst service I’ve ever received. I think I’m now in some sort of trouble for what I’ve said and/or done, and I have to leave. I’m with Laynie now, and this place looks and seems more like an elementary school. I am not going to leave, and I think she’s aiding me in not getting caught. It is dark out, and I think we’re attempting to stay in here for the night. There is a group of people who I think are walking around, checking for anyone still remaining. Laynie tells me to hurry, and we run out to my? parked car on what looks like the driveway outside of the old 695 house. I unlock it with the remote on my keys and we climb in, her up front and me in the backseat. I lie down and sort of cover myself with blankets. I think it’d still look like a person if they looked in, but hope it’s too dark to see that well. At one point I am in the front yard, and it seems very overgrown, but with pretty flowers and grasses.
I’m with Laynie, and it’s like we’re at work, but right now we are on a street corner. There is a video monitor up on a pole, and I’m trying to pull back video on it. It ends up stopping on just someone’s feet, which we think is kind of funny. I briefly ponder the implications of leaving our recorded video playing for everyone to see. I think it’d be beneficial, but there’s no doubt someone would be offended. I now try to log out, pressing control, alt, and delete. We now cross the street and I see, on the other side of the street, a building that must be our work. It looks low and long, a glossy dark navy/grey, and more organic than not. I notice a sketchy seeming black lady who I think just got dropped off. She hesitates and then enters the building. I look over to Laynie, but she’s noticed her also. We enter the building but stall for a minute so as to give her just a little space initially. We’ve gone to the right and into a room that has a long, grey, ovular table (it may actually be a horseshoe shape, with empty space in the middle) with two men sitting towards the end. There is another video monitor, which I tap with a pen or something, just pretending to be doing something on it. The man seated facing more towards it sees this and chuckles, saying “kids.” I just laugh along with him and his limited perception, his not knowing what we’re really doing. We now enter the Sephora here and see the girl pretty much right away. She notices us also. We are not even near her or overtly watching her when she ends up by us, saying that she feels like she’s being watched. I reply quite lengthily, telling her that there are plenty of other people in here shopping that don’t feel like they’re being watched. I also tell her that I’ve been watched before while shopping but still bought what I was looking for, though I’m not sure that’s actually happened to me. She seems to understand, but still leaves without buying anything. I see her meet up with a white girl who also has a black purse. There is a sort of hallway or foyer between the Sephora and the glass doors to the outside. There’s then a small bit of pavement before a large, lush lawn. At the end of the pavement, they each throw a pair of shoes or sandals into a trashcan. I notice they’re both still wearing sandals, so I think they must’ve switched into new ones. I linger in the foyer and notice a black car parked in the shade of some trees near the top of the sloping lawn. The girls double back, but so have I, so that they see me walking past, but not overly suspiciously so.
I am at work with Laynie. I’m not sure if I’m on cameras or out on the floor, but I notice a lady enter who I’m pretty sure has stolen before. I think she has a black backpack and a large, reusable shopping bag from somewhere else. I tell Laynie, and we start watching her. Almost immediately, it looks like she’s filled the bag with clothes. Two other blond girls, one about younger middle aged like her and one younger, now meet up with her. There are three fitting room stalls along the wall, and they each go into one. After a bit, the other two girls come out. The older one is holding the reusable shopping bag, but for some reason I disregard this. The first girl comes out, and Laynie and I go onto the floor. (It still looks like a retail store, but different than in reality). I’m not sure what we’re doing, since she doesn’t have the bag, but we follow her out. I think we then realize that the other girl had the bag. I end up going outside and following them to another store. This store looks like our hallway of kids shoes, but bigger. This girl has met up with an entire family, including younger girls and middle aged men. They all look very similar, even for a family. All are blond or slightly ginger. The two men look sort of aloof and dirty or druggy. It is a little creepy. The younger girl from earlier notices me, asking slightly aggressively “What are you doing here?” “I work here,” I tell her defensively. There is attention on me now, and I decide to tell them that I know they’re only here to shoplift and just need to leave. They actually give it up and head for the door. Though they didn’t fight it, I am shocked that an entire family does this so shamelessly. I follow them out and notice a black car with its window down, the reusable bag sitting on the seat. I now start getting aggressive, cursing at the lady while demanding that she give the merchandise back. She only slightly resists, but I do not give, and she ends up taking it out. I think I mentioned that I could just call the cops, which gets her to change her attitude a bit. I think about snapchatting this humorous scene, but don’t.
I think I am at work. Yasuko is massaging my back. The massage is deep and she uses a lot of pressure, but it is not uncomfortable. In fact, it is greatly relaxing. She seems to have done it randomly and nonchalantly, but when she is done my body feels better and more flexible.
I am upstairs at work. There is a group of three to four white teenage (or younger?) boys by the Levi jeans that have selected a bunch of clothes quickly. I think they may also have a bag, maybe a sports bag from here? that they’re putting it all into. I think Scott is downstairs and talking to me over the radio. I am over by the boys and I think it makes them leave, leaving everything behind. I start looking through the clothes in the bag, and I only find one empty hanger. I’m not sure what we’re doing exactly, but at least they didn’t get anything, besides possibly one shirt.
I am camping at Frenchmans with Melissa and I think one other. We are sitting around the fire pit, and there’s quite a bit of stuff set up around it, like we’re here for a while or just well prepared. I’m not sure if there’s a fire going or not. It seems to be dusk or nearing dark. I think I’m going to start the fire now. I put down some paper materials for starters, but then I can’t find any wood. I bring it up to Melissa, and she has a brief look of realization. She says she forgot to bring it. I’m not sure what to do, then Melissa says she saw some in the trailer. That does sound right, so I go to check. The trailer feels more like a big car, but still partially like a trailer. I climb in and onto what seems to be the back seats. It seems more like a bed, a bed that could fit about two. It seems kinda comfy, and I think about sleeping with Melissa in here instead. I find the firewood and it is all on top of two folded down seats, shaped almost like it is serving as the seats instead. I wonder if I should really be taking any if it is serving a purpose here. I think that most likely Opa placed it like this. I end up pulling a few pieces out, most smaller but one longer. The wood is darker in color, thin, and not very heavy. I am at work, going back on video to look for something, when I inadvertently see two guys arbitrarily grabbing Levis like they’re going to do a grab and run. I notice that one is wearing a backpack. Now I am out on the floor and right by them. I think just my walking by is enough to get them to drop the merchandise. They go over by men’s shoes and I think out an emergency exit door that’s open. Another man is standing by the door, sort of like a look out. He is wearing a white rabbit mask. It looks like a plain and rudimentary mask with just a strap on the backside, yet the effect is somewhat unnerving and intimidating. I don’t exactly want to go over there. I call Scott over the radio to see if he’s seeing this. From the way he says no, I assume he was not watching all along. I assume he’s pulling it up on camera now.
I have stopped into work on what feels like my day off. It doesn’t really look like work - it has more of a warehouse feel. I feel like I am on the second level when I see a man stashing a ton of Levis. He sees me looking at him, which seems to make him nervous. He has a pile stashed in a fitting room; I wait until he walks out and then lock and close the door to the stall so he can’t get to them and so I can put them in as a recovery later. Now, I think there is a woman that is with him. They are gone a moment later, and it looks like some of the Levis are missing. If they got them, they got a ton, because the stash was a huge stack or two. I’m now in what feels like the men’s department, the only difference being that the entire floor is empty. There aren’t even shelves. The floor looks like concrete, and the walls are either concrete or drywall. I think there are a few associates here, and they seem to notice the state of the place, at least somewhat. It seems like they don’t care much or are accustomed to it.
I am at work. It seems very dark, like all the lights are out or the power is out. There is a known shoplifter (the girl from yesterday who crammed clothes in a purse and went out the salon doors) who I think is coming out of a fitting room and/or heading for a door. I notice that she has a newer looking backpack with brighter colored stripes. I assume there is stolen merchandise in it, so I go up to her and tell her to just get it all out of there. She insists that she doesn’t have anything. She holds out a green toothbrush and she’s saying she got either it or the backpack from Walmart. *Right at this point I am awakened by Melissa and her alarm.
I woke up with my second alarm and went straight back to lying down attempting to MILD again. I must have dozed off for a little bit as I come back to awareness with a bright white rectangle close to my face. I imagine it as a computer screen and sure enough, I start to focus on the URL at the top of the screen repeating to myself that I am dreaming. I feel my body start to enter sleep paralysis and I hear some strange noises. I try to wake myself up out of panic by trying to think of my bedroom, but I can only think about work and sitting at my desk looking at my computer screen. I let it happen and suddenly pop into the dream by WILD It's difficult to move at first, but I get out of the office chair I'm sitting in and do a reality check. My fingers pass easily through my hand and I feel that I am already more aware because of WILDing instead of DILDing. I want to get outside so I walk to the stairwell and find it blocked by a vending machine. It swings out of the way without effort, though, and I walk down. The stairs get very narrow with more blockages along the way, but I finally make it out into a grassy hill. In front of me are mountains with many homes built around the base. To my left it looks like some plains with a dust devil or small tornado. I sit down cross legged in the grass to boost my awareness. I once again perform a reality check which I do easily. I then say out loud, "Clarity now", in a calm but commanding voice and my vision becomes pixelated-like for a split second and a sound like a high pitched ring occurs. It subsides leaving me with a much clearer vision and more awareness, and I'm stunned for a minute that it worked so well. I decide I want to talk to my subconscious so I start walking down a street with houses on both sides. I imagine a bench on the left side while looking at my hands and sure enough, I look up and a bench is there, although a little lopsided. I sit down and ask to speak with my subconscious. Out of the right side of my vision, a blonde girl walks towards the house that I'm facing. She greets me and walks in some side entrance to open the front door for me. I thank her and walk inside. She starts talking to me but I'm trying to focus on staying aware and I tell her this. I remark that I need to work on making my awareness - boosting routine get my awareness in the dream to last longer. When I finally sit down, she starts talking to me again, but the dream fades out quickly.
I'm at work about to head into a meeting. I see a co worker I know and say hi before going into the room. Once everyone is here, a lady wants everyone to all take a picture so we all crowd together. She keeps changing our positions though and it takes quite a while. Once she does finish, most of the meeting time is over and people begin to leave.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening I work at a court in a large building that looks like a mall. It is a very old building and people do tours in it. I catch some tourists visiting the restroom. It is part of the tour because they are antique. I am being harassed by a female colleague and she pushes me against a wall, says she wants my cunt and touches me inappropriately. I am rescued by a couple other colleagues and they support me in presenting complaint to the police, but because it is a woman, the police doesn't take it seriously. Unfortunately she also has her own friends who support her. We are all working same place. I leave early and go shopping. A store of natural products has some sales and I end up buying an electric toothbrush and a natural hair coloring. Later I go to work for some guys at the court. Some day they are talking about something boring and I leave. At some other room, I overhear some guys with a plan to destroy the world by releasing nanites. I follow them around to gather intel and watch as they push a button and unleash it on an island just by the coast, that we can see from the window. The nanites destroy a building in 10 sec. I run to tell my colleagues, but they don't understand what I am talking about and why it is urgent. It doesn't take long for us to start feeling the effect. Communications gone, transportation not coming and people in the city are already confused and scared and then cars start having accidents as the nanites eat them.
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